Udan Patolas (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Goriya Nu Dafa Karo - full transcript

We have placed our bets on England.

They've made it to the semi-finals.
They'll win the finals as well.

Shaun, who are you cheering for?

- India. Always.
- Me too.

And I'm sure India will also
make it to the finals.

And, Puneet, you?

Virat! I mean, he is so cute.

- And, Noor?
- Yeah. What?

Yeah. Virat, me too... My India...
I mean, come on, India.

'Whoa.'
- Shot.

- Good one.
- Did you see that?



Listen up, guys...

...whether I go or not...

...you guys should definitely
use my passes.

'Which passes?'

Two VIP passes for the World Cup finals.

- Wow!
- Wow! Really?

Baby, why didn't you ask me?

I thought you'd not be interested.
That's why.

So mean.

'But if you want...'

...we can both go.

Really? Like really?

- Okay, let's go. Let's go.
- It's wonderful, isn't it?

- So cute.
- By the way, I have passes too.



- Okay!
- 'I was going to take Amrit.'

- Really, baby?
- Yeah, babe.

It's a surprise for you.

'I have chartered a flight.
We'll go, cheer for England.'

- Really?
- Yeah.

This is so amazing.

Oh, my God!
Is this really happening?

'We all are going for
World Cup Finals'.

'Four of us. Oh, my God!'

'Yes, yes, yes.
- Nice.

The boys are competing, and the girls
are winning the medals.

That's great.

- I'm so happy for you guys.
- Yeah.

- When is the final?
- Next week. In London.

- Great.
- Awesome.

Okay. Cheer on our behalf too.

Come on, India.

- Wow!
- Whoa!

- Noor.
- Noor.

Not bad.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

- Hey, idiot. The car is here.
- But the Baba ji is there.

- What?
- Baba Gudda Singh Ji.

'A godman has come
from Beas to Mumbai.'

'My cousin, Sundari, had told me.'

His predictions are...

-...absolutely accurate.
- So?

- Come on. Come, come.
- You also come.

Why should I be trapped alone?

- There he is.
- Come come. God bless you, children.

- Sit down. Sit, sit.
- Sat Sri Akal.

Sit, sit, sit. Yes.

- Baba ji, I'm from Beas too.
- Is it?

So, I wanted to know
about my future.

'Okay!'

- Wow. What a Sunday!
- Really, man.

I swear.

Sunday!

'Come, my child.
Come, sit here.'

Sit down.
You will never forget this Sunday.

What's your name, my child?

My name is Noorpreet.

I see it. I see it clearly.

Yes. I cleaned them with earbuds
today.

God has blessed you.

- What?
- You're not just Noorpreet.

- You're Lady Noorpreet.
- What?

What do you mean?

Cricket.

Cricket?

Till date, nobody has
managed to understand me.

Yes, Baba ji. She's right.

Noorpreet doesn't like cricket.

But cricket likes Noorpreet.

You had cleaned your ears, right?
So, come here.

Listen to what I'm saying
very carefully.

In this cricket World Cup,
the team you choose...

...will win.

What are you saying, Baba ji?

If the team you are supporting is before
your eyes, the trophy will be theirs.

For example,
if you say "Come on, India".

Punni!

Oh, my God!

Baba Gudda Singh ji. You're so right.
That's exactly what happened.

Come on, Lady.

Come on India. Come on.
Lady, come on!

Come on, Lady. Come on.

Are your brains so full of shit?

You girls want me to
go to the World Cup...

...and scream
"Come on, India. Come on, India"?

- Yes.
- Am I Shah Rukh Khan?

- What?
- Look, I don't gamble.

I don't even play cards on Diwali.

But this is not gambling.
This is hint from God.

'Noorpreet,
Punni is correct.'

Didn't you see what happened
at Akaash's place?

And also, by the way,
we could all do...

...with some extra money in life.
Okay?

"Extra money in life."
I don't believe in all this.

'He's a fraud.'

He was just taking wild guesses.

I don't have any money
to go to London.

'Okay, Noorpreet, listen.
Okay?'

Let's do this.

The semi-finals are coming up.
You can test yourself then.

- Okay? How's that?
- Hey!

Crazy girl!

- Oh, my God, you saved us.
- Sorry, Lady Noorpreet.

Look, this client should be in
our pockets by the end of this week.

We have to pocket him by hook
or by crook.

Because since Lovelle
is going on leave...

...so Tamanna will handle this job.
Done?

- Okay, the meeting is over.
- Thank, God.

No, sir. I didn't mean that.

'You know what,
my cable isn't working.'

And it's semi-finals today.
India versus Australia.

But you carry on, sir.

If that's the thing then
we'll watch a couple of overs too.

Come on, girls.
Sit down.

- Let's test.
- Try, try.

Come on, India.

Ouch! You bloody b...

B.. Bandra doesn't come after Parel,
Puneet.

Where are you from?

'When will you
learn about trains, Puneet?'

Such a spoilt girl, no?

Okay.

Come on, India.

- Oh! God.

Noor, you really have a black tongue!

'Girl with a black tongue.'

- Thank you.
- India. India. India...

Noor, you don't stop.
Keep cheering for India. Come on.

Come on, India.

Yeah!

Noor... Noor, you come here.

Come here, baby. Come here,
come here, come here.

- Yes, sir.
- Sit.

No, sir... How can I...

You just sit here
and cheer up for India. Okay?

- Now tell me. What will you have?
- Mango shake will do.

Mango shake.
Tamanna, mango shake for madam.

Less sugar, please.

- Shall I order something too?
- Shh...

- Cheer up. Cheer up India.
- Okay, Okay.

Come on, India.

- Yeah!

A three BHK in Sobo is for sure now!

And a car with a swag.

You guys sound
so ridiculous, right now.

Amrinder, if you would have been there,
then you'd believe us.

You wait till the finals.

- Guys.
- Guys.

We have a surprise for you both.

What?

I know. I know. I know. I know.

We are going to London too?

Yes, we are all going to London.
It's all taken care of.

Angels. Your boyfriends are angels.

- Thank them for me.
- Sure, sure.

- Noorpreet, I'm so excited.
- Correction.

- Lady Noorpreet.
- Yes, Lady Noorpreet..

Tell me. Which team
are you supporting?

Because I'm going to bet
all of my savings on that team.

Don't take such a huge risk now, Punni.
Anything can happen there.

'What could go wrong?'

Sister Noorpreet will go dumb?

Okay, have this.
Eat some rajma chawal.

Kismi didi brought it
from her house.

Well, why do you trust Noorpreet?

She wouldn't even know...

...which two countries are playing
at the finals.

Hey, you Sikhipedia.

I know everything, okay?

- Didi, India and England.
- India and England. Yes!

And I also know,
which team I'm going to vote for.

Noorpreet,
you don't vote in cricket.

- It's called 'cheering'.
- And you don't pinch people either.

You pinched me so hard at office,
I've turned into a Dalmatian.

Didi, look at this.

I won't do it anymore. Tell me now.

Whom are you supporting?

- England.
- Huh!

That's my girl.

Everybody knows
that England is going to win.

Because all odds are against India.

What are you saying?
That means India...

You won't support your own country?

Noorpreet, are you serious?

We can't go there and say,
"Come on, England. Come on, England".

- That's just wrong.
- I don't give a damn.

I just know that I'll do the opposite..

What? Opposite of what?

By opposite, I mean.. I'll do
the opposite of what Tamanna does..

..Who am I trying to explain this to!

Please massage me for
another half an hour.

Oh! Now, I get it.

Tamanna supports India. That's why,
you're going to support England!

That's just really foolish of you.
Oh, please. It's my wish.

I'll do anything but I won't let
that witch win at any cost.

And what about us? Huh?

We'll die but we'll never betray
our own country.

You guys sound so silly.

You're really ready to bet everything
trusting that Baba?

None of you guys are excited that...

...we all are going to London
for the first time?

London!

Guys, finally we can honestly say
that we've bought our clothes in London.

Yeah. Not from Mumbai.

Let's do kikli.

- Yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on.
- Let's go.

Come on, hurry up!

Shall I activate
everyone's international calls?

Don't worry about mine.
Do it for yourself.

Ring-a-ring-a-rosies

A pocket full of posies

A tissue, a tissue

We all fall down

Your drink. Enjoy.
Grab the seat, we'll be coming up.

Here you go.
We'll join you guys soon.

Thanks.

Mmm. Hotty.

Guys, I just love London.

It's so stylish and chic.

Look at that guy in white.
Oh, my God!

Oh! Twelve on ten.

I'm telling you, you won't find
a single shady guy here. I bet, Punni.

No, thanks. I'm not crazy
to bet against you.

And just like Lovely said..
Anything can happen here.

I could settle here forever
if I had my way.

I'm done with Mumbai.

Not with you, my dears.
You all are my love.

Hey, Noorpreet,
don't have ice.

The match is tomorrow.
We need to be really careful.

Anything can happen.
Anyway, she has a black tongue.

- Ladies!
- Behave yourselves, women.

- Kaaju? You're here?
- Kaaju!

Does it look good?
In such a big bar in London...

...you're sticking your tongues out
at each other!

Disgusting.
You guys stay away from me.

- What are you doing?
- I'm paying.

- Let's do it later.
- Let's pay and finish it off.

- Okay, then. I'll pay.
- No, no. I'll pay.

But, Kaaju bhaiya,
what are you doing here?

Aww. I should be asking
you this question.

What are you villagers doing
in this posh London bar?

- Excuse me?
- Oh, I see. Akaash, huh?

Akaash must've brought you here.
Freeloading, huh?

Hello, excuse me.
We paid for ourselves. Okay?

You paid for the trip?

- Liar.
- Keep it low.

Oh, don't worry.
Even I'm not Kaaju here.

Hi.

My name is Kevin.

F****r.

I'm sorry.

Kaaju, applying talcum powder,
won't turn you into an Englishman.

Karan Singh Dhillon.
13 B Sarojini Nagar.

'Aww, look at her.
She's so frustrated.'

I think you've reached menopause.
Men-no-pause? No men, right?

Forget it. By the way, what the hell
are you doing in London, Kevin?

I'm actually here
to watch the World Cup.

India versus England, you know?
At the Lord's Stadium.

- What about you?
- Us too, Kevin.

'So, I shall
see you tomorrow then.'

Front row. Actually, I have been
invited by the sponsors you know.

- V VIP.
- Of course.

I'm so surprised that you haven't
bought out the Indian team yet.

You can say, I have. After all,
who fixed the deal for the sponsors?

I don't have to tell you all that.

Anyway, I don't want to be embarrassed
standing with you villagers.

See you at the match tomorrow.
Hey, Linda!

- Hi, how're you, darling?
- Mummy! Dog!

'It's a beautiful
day here at Lord's.'

And now starts the much awaited
World Cup Final between...

...England and India!

I can't believe
we're supporting England.

We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Sorry, God. Forgive us.

I'm so excited.

Today, when England wins,
we'll party hard.

- We'll rage!
- Here comes the first ball.

Come on, England!

It's a six.

England. England.

- Noorpreet Dhillon, my darling sister.
- Ow! My hair. Fool.

You know, I was just in the VIP bar,
having a free drink with the owners.

But sitting with your dumb sister
here in London is even better!

- Okay, stop.
- Come on, Noor. Once again.

- Yeah? Come on.
- Okay.

Come on, England!

Oh, my God! This is brilliant.

England. England. England.

Looks like England has Lady Luck!

Why is she doing this, sir?

Can you please call her and
ask her to stop all this?

Come on, Tamanna. What do you think?
They are hitting these sixes because of Noor?

- Do you think I care?
- 'Don't be silly.'

- India has to win. I'm telling you.
- 'Impossible.'

- What impossible!
- Ashwin will not stay for long.

You better go back to England.

'Shut up.'
- Forget it.

Quiet!

This is a crazy match already.

India will have to really try hard.

- Come on, England!
- It's a six.

'Can you believe that?'

What? Sit down.

- What are you doing?
- Boo. Boo. Boo.

And England has already made
320 runs...

...and we still have
three overs left.

Baby, what is this?

If mom sees you doing this,
we'll be attending her funeral.

Noor, Noor, Noor. Think.

Think about our village.

Our Punjab.

Our India. Noor, think about it.

Have you forgotten everything?

Noor, think about our India,
our Punjab.

Noor. Noor.

- Noor. Noor.
- 'Noor, Noorpreet.'

- Noor. Noor.
- Kaaju!

What's your problem?
Keep this with you.

And here comes
the next ball from India.

And aren't we sure
that it is going to be another six.

Come on, India!

Yeah!

'Yeah!'

'Yay! India... India.'

'Yahoo! India... India.'

'India... India.'

Here comes my darling sister.

- Yay! The fun starts now.
- What up, yo!

What the f**k is wrong with you?

After all, you're Kaaju's sister.
Oh, my God! F**k!

I have to change the bets
really fast. Oh, my God. Baby.

What the hell
is wrong with you, Noor?

Don't disturb me, you Brits.
Bloody traitors.

- Goodbye and good luck.
- Here you go.

What a b***h man!

Now tell me,
who are the odds against?

Come on, India!

And that's a wicket!

India... India.

India. Go, India!

This is why!
This is why I love you so much.

I will give you a beautiful life in London.
Just watch.

Your brother Kaaju will set you up here.

India... India.

India... India.

'And that's a wicket.'

I told you!

Noor, I love you.Muah Muah.

- Come on, England.
- Oh!

That's a dot ball.

Here, let me show you.
Watch me.

Come on, India!

Yes!

'And that's the end
of England's innings.'

'India has to beat
an unbeatable score.'

'What an exciting
World Cup Finals.'

See you all, after the break.

- Excuse me! Excuse me! Noorpreet...
- You're back.

Here, have some coffee.
You're not tired, are you?

Are you hungry?
Shall I get you something?

Oh, wow! Finally, you've understood
my importance.

And did you understand
Tamanna's importance?

That's not called 'importance'.
It's called charity.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Oww...

'Now the match
starts again...'

'...and India has come prepared
to lift the trophy.'

'Now here comes England's first
ball.'

Come on, India!

'And it's a six!'

'Looks like it's a good
start for India.'

'But that's just the beginning.
Here comes another ball.'

- Come on, Indi...
-

Here, have this.

What happened, crazy sister?

- My throat...
- What happened?

Pat her back, not mine.
She's the one with a bad throat.

Both of you are witches! One has a black tongue
and the other can curse.

You see what's happened now, Punni?

So, that means,
I'm Lady Punni too!

Okay, Noorpreet, listen to me.
Okay? Don't worry.

Rest your throat
for a few overs.

There's no problem.
We'll cover-up. Okay?

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, sure. Just relax.

- Noorpreet, have this pill.
- Yeah. Take it.

What is this?

It's made from bitter gourd skin
and pumpkin leaves.

Why don't you just
give me poison instead?

'First maiden over of the evening.'
- But you'll be fine...

- 'It's very sad, that...'
- Shut up!

'...India couldn't score
in this over.'

Sir, please stop biting
your nails, no?

Sorry.

What is this girl doing, man!

- What has happened to her?
- Thank God! She shut up.

Please call her, once.
Just for me. Please call her.

- Call her.
- What do you want?

Call her! I'm sorry.
I'm just saying...

...please for me,
once just call her. Please.

Okay, I'll try.

It won't connect.

I'll call Lovelle.

- Hello? Yeah, sir.
- Lovelle, give the phone to Noor.

Okay, wait for a second, sir.

Mr. Mittal. Mr. Mittal. Hush!

- Hello. Yes, sir?
- What are you doing?

What are you doing?
Why did you stop cheering?

'Come on.
Start, start, start cheering'.

Here in the office,
we're banking upon you.

Come on, start.
Start cheering. Immediately.

Actually, sir... my..

No, sir. I have to go somewhere now.

No, no...

Noor... Noor, listen to me.
Listen to me.

You can't do that. Come on,
cheer up for the country.

Come on!

- What?
- Bonus...

- What bonus?
- Offer her a bonus, she'll do it.

'Hello, Noor...

You see, if you cheer for me...

Not for me. If you cheer
for the country...

...I'll try to give you some bonus.

Uh.. No, sir. No, please.

No. Not bonus.

Noor, I'm not saying this
for my sake. Come on.

'Country before self.
Haven't you heard?'

India needs you.
1.25 billion people need you.

Come on, cheer up!

Okay, sir.

- Just for you.
- Is she convinced?

- Did she agree?
- She'll do it. She'll do it...

Come on, India!

'And that's a six.'

- Yay!
- Yeah!

I told you!

After this lull, India makes a dashing
comeback with this six! Yay!

'Yay!'
- How is this possible? F**k!

Yes! Give me a high five.

- She's back.
- 'Told ya'.

Yep!

Mahesh, bet all my money on India.

- Come on, India!
- 'And it's a six.'

India... India.

Stop it, Noor.
It's getting very annoying.

People are getting
irritated right now.

Is it?
Odds are now against England?

I'm telling you, sis.
Go to the front and leap over the fence.

- No.
- Go, go, go.

Really?

- Go, go, go.
- No...

- Go, go, go.
- No, forget it.

Forget it.
- Come on, India!

Come on, Noor.

Jump, jump, leap!

What are you doing, ma'am?
This is not allowed.

I just want to go closer.

- It's very important.
- No, no.

No. It's very important.
I'm coming...

Whoa! She's my sister.
I'm the sponsor. Just leave her.

Excuse me! We're really sorry.
She won't bother you again.

- Promise you.
- No. No. She's disturbing everyone.

'Take her away.'

No. That's okay.
She'll be quiet.

- Just leave her. Just leave her.
She's my sister. - Leave me.

- It's okay. I'll be right back.
- Listen to me.

'Looks like the
Lady Luck has hit some bad luck.'

It's okay... It's fine...

Everything is fine.

She's my sister. She'll be fine.
You guys don't worry.

Go out and just...

- what does she... Come on, India!
- Come on, India...

And, Noor. Watch the live match
on your phone.

'The World Cup final, India
versus England is coming to end.'

'Only two overs left.'

No, no, no, no.

You b*****d!

Sorry, I won't do it again.

Come on!

Come on, India!

One more wicket, f**k!

Kaaju bhaiya, if you say that
one more time...

...I'm going to kick you
out of the stadium.

Hey, Punni.
Why can't I reach Noorpreet?

She didn't activate
international roaming!

- What?
- Oh, God!

F**k, f**k, f**k. Phone!

Oh! Shit!

Bloody signal!

Noorpreet,
you're such a miser sometimes!

Couldn't you just activate roaming!

It's called the cobra dance.

It's called the Indian cobra dance.

Mummy!

'Ouch!'

'One more wicket down, for India.'

'Seems like India is on a downhill.'

Come... Come on, India.

- Come on, India.
- Come on, India! Come on, India!

Shut you, m***********s!

'And so, here we are now.'

'India needs six more runs
to take the World Cup home.'

'And this ball will decide
the fate of India.'

'The countdown begins now!'

'And here we are now.
The final moment.'

'Here comes the last ball.'

'Kaaju bhaiya!'
- Please!

Come on, India! Come on, India!

Come on, India! Come on, India!

Come on, India.
Come on...

So, Noorpreet, did you understand
the moral of the story?

- Or should I make you understand?
- Yeah, I got it.

What did you understand?

That international roaming,
is most important.

Oh, wow! You have become quite smart
after going to London.

See?

Guys, can we just
change the topic now, please?

Yeah, Amrinder, you'd obviously
want to change the topic.

You made so much money
out there.

Bloody show-off.

And with all that money.. see what I...

- ...bought..
- What is this?

A car with a swag for all of us!

Love for family.

Solidarity with friends.

Life for the country.

Never let these things
leave your system.

Coz, no matter how much
you do...

...you will always be indebted to them.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.