Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 3, Episode 3 - Teacher's Pet Peeve - full transcript

Berg starts his internship but his commitment is questioned by the resident doctor. Pete is concerned Johnny is trying to hurt him because he had feelings for Sharon.

WHEN YOU SEE BERG, TELL
HIM I CAN'T HAVE LUNCH.

I'M GOING TO CHOP
WOOD WITH JOHNNY.

YOU AND JOHNNY ARE
GOING TO CHOP WOOD?

THAT'S ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING IT.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
IMPROVED IT, THOUGH.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE HANGING
AROUND JOHNNY AND AN AX.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU HIT ON THE WOMAN
JOHNNY'S GOING TO MARRY.

I DIDN'T HIT ON SHARON.

I INTIMATED I HAD
FEELINGS FOR HER.

YOU'VE BEEN SNIFFING AROUND
ON THE BIG DOG'S PORCH.



YOU KNOW WHAT?

JOHNNY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW I FELT ABOUT SHARON.

HAVE YOU CHOPPED WOOD
WITH JOHNNY BEFORE?

NO.

HUH, CURIOUS TIMING.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,

THAT JOHNNY WANTS TO HURT ME?

NOT CONSCIOUSLY,
BUT HIS SUBCONSCIOUS

HAS YOU CHOPPED UP

AND STACKED NEXT
TO THE WOODPILE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT WORKING.

READY?

OOH, A CHAINSAW. MESSY.

ALL RIGHT.



WELCOME TO THIRD YEAR ROTATIONS.

THE BEST PART IS WE GET
TO BE CALLED "DOCTOR" NOW.

DR. BERGEN... KIND OF ROLLS
OFF THE TONGUE, DOESN'T IT?

"DR. BERGEN TO EMERGENCY."

"DR. BERGEN, YOUR
TABLE'S READY."

"LAP DANCE, DR. BERGEN?"

SO, WHAT'S YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

OH, I GOT... I GOT PSYCH
WITH, UH, DR. GORDON.

THAT'LL BE GOOD...
GET IN SOME HEADS,

SLAY SOME DEMONS,
FREE SOME SOULS.

EXCUSE ME, I THINK I'M LOST.

WHERE IS THE GAP?

I'M SORRY. I LOVE DOING THAT.

I'M SORRY. I'M LOOKING
FOR EXAM ROOM "A."

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?

SECOND DOOR ON THE LEFT.
I'M HEADED THERE MYSELF.

YOU MUST BE MY MED
ROTATION. I'M DR. PEEL.

OH, HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M ASHLEY AND THIS IS BERG.

I'M SORRY. I AM DR. WALKER
AND THIS IS DR. BERGEN.

I CAN'T GET USED TO THAT.

OH, GET USED TO THAT.

OH, IT IMPRESSES THE CLERK
AT THE ADULT VIDEO STORE.

AND YOU CAN PARK IN THE RED

WHILE YOU GRAB A
GRINDER AT DAMONTE'S.

YOU WANT TO SHARE IT?

OH, YEAH, SURE. THANKS.

UM, SO, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT, DOCTOR?

HOPEFULLY PLAYING
"DOCTOR," DOCTOR.

OOH!

Woman: STAFF MEETING
THURSDAY AT NOON.

NEUROLOGIST STAFF
MEETING... DR. GORDON?

HI. UH... I'M DR. BERGEN.

I'M EXCITED TO BE IN
YOUR PSYCH ROTATION.

IF ONLY I SHARED
YOUR EXCITEMENT.

I'VE BEEN TEACHING
THIS 20 YEARS.

I HATE IT.

HERE... GET A JUMP
ON THE READING.

O-OKAY. WHAT CHAPTER?

DOESN'T MATTER.
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED.

HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I GOT A LITTLE PULL IN
THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED
WHAT YOU CAN GET

WHEN YOU SHAKE A MAN'S HAND

A LITTLE LONGER THAN NORMAL.

DR. BERGEN, WOULD YOU
TELL US WHY YOU'RE HERE?

OH, UH, DID EVERYONE ELSE GO?

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO HELP PEOPLE.

IT WASN'T UNTIL A TRIP
TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM

AFTER A SKIING
ACCIDENT... NO, DOCTOR.

NO... WHY ARE YOU
IN THIS ROTATION?

I'VE GOT LAST NAMES
"V" THROUGH "Z."

I'M HERE, DR. PEEL,
BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST.

EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

I SHOULD NOT BE DEPRIVED
OF A SUPERIOR EDUCATION

BECAUSE MY POOR NAME GREW UP

ON THE WRONG SIDE
OF THE ALPHABET.

UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S
NOT THE WAY IT WORKS.

"A" THROUGH "F" IS
WITH DR. GORDON.

PLEASE, YOU CAN'T
MAKE ME GO BACK THERE.

THE MAN IS DEAD, AND
NO ONE'S NOTIFIED HIM.

ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN STAY.
THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.

GOOD. OKAY.

OKAY. DR. BERGEN, NAME
THE VALVE IN THE COLON

THAT REGULATES DISCHARGE.

OKAY, HERE WE GO... THE COLON.

DR. JENSEN TO ICU.

THE COLON. UH...

DON'T TELL ME, DON'T TELL ME.

IT'S ON THE TIP OF
MY TONGUE, OKAY?

WELL, NO, NOT REALLY.
THAT WOULD BE... EWW.

WHILE ON ROTATIONS,

ANY DOCTOR CAN FIRE
A QUESTION AT YOU.

COME ON, THINK, DR. BERGEN.

THE VALVE... THE VALVE
AT THE END OF THE COLON

THAT... THAT REGULATES
DISCHARGE IS, UH...

THE POOPY-CHUTE.

DR. WALKER?

UM, I DON'T KNOW.
MAY I LOOK IT UP?

VERY GOOD. YES.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE
ANSWER, YOU LOOK IT UP.

SAVE THAT LITTLE JOKE.

IT COULD COME IN HANDY

WHEN YOU'RE TELLING A NEW WIDOW

WHY YOU COULDN'T SAVE
HER CHILDREN'S FATHER.

YES? YES, DR. BERGEN?

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO
BE IN THIS ROTATION.

IT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ANYONE.

JOHNNY BACKED INTO
YOU WITH HIS TRUCK?

HE DIDN'T SEE ME!

I-I WAS RELIEVING
MYSELF ON A TREE.

HE WOULD'VE RUN ME OVER

IF I HADN'T SCAMPERED
INTO A BLACKBERRY THICKET.

AND YOU REALLY THINK
THAT THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT?

YES! YES. H-HIS SHOELACE...

IT GOT CAUGHT AROUND
THE ACCELERATOR.

HAPPENED IN "FOOTLOOSE."

HOW YOU FEELING?

OH, I'M ALL RIGHT.
THANKS, SHARON.

OW, OW!

OH, OH. WHY ARE YOU LIMPING?

OH, I WAS HELPING JOHNNY CARRY
AN AIR CONDITIONER UPSTAIRS

AND HE ACCIDENTALLY
DROPPED IT ON MY TOE.

Sharon: JOHNNY FEELS SO BAD.

HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU
FISHING ON SATURDAY.

OH, THAT'S GREAT, GREAT.

BEST PART IS, NOW
I DON'T HAVE TO GO.

I'M GLAD YOU GUYS ARE
SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER.

OW, OW, OW.

Johnny: PETE!

WHAT?

HELP ME OUT HERE.
LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.

WHY?

TELL ME IF THIS AIR CONDITIONER

IS IN STRAIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
LITTLE TO THE LEFT.

Johnny: SORRY, PETE! MY BAD.

I'M TELLING YOU, BERG,

I THINK JOHNNY WANTS TO HURT ME.

PETE, I'M NOT IN PSYCH ROTATION,

SO I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS

AS A PROFESSIONAL
OPINION, BUT YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

OH, OH. DOES AN IDIOT

ALMOST GET RUN OVER BY
A TRUCK WHILE URINATING?

HEY, PETE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING AT THE HOSPITAL?

AFRAID TO BE ALONE IN
THE BUILDING WITH JOHNNY?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T APPRECIATE
YOUR LUCKY GUESSES.

HEY, STRANGER, YOU LOOK AWFUL.

WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
WHY I ASKED DR. PEEL

TO ASSIGN ME DOUBLE SHIFTS.

YOU KNOW, I'M SICK AND TIRED

OF THESE YOUTHFUL GOOD LOOKS.

HI.

HEY, DR. PEEL, WE WERE
JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

WELL, NOW, THERE'S A
SIGN OF A DULL PARTY.

TIME TO LIVEN UP.

WHO HAS THE KEY
TO THE MEDS CABINET?

Berg: DR. PEEL?

THIS IS MY FRIEND PETE.

OH, DR. BERGEN, I
DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

OKAY, YOU'RE
APPROACHED BY A DOCTOR.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF HE'S
A PHYSICIAN OR A RESIDENT?

OH, WELL, YOU THUMP
HIM ON THE HEAD,

AND IF IT SOUNDS HOLLOW, YOU...

OH, WAIT, THAT'S CANTALOUPE.

THAT'S FUNNY.

NO, DON'T THE RESIDENTS

WEAR DIFFERENT COLOR NAMEPLATES?

HA HA.

VERY GOOD... PETE, IS IT?

I WATCH "GENERAL HOSPITAL."

OOH, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

OH, I FELL INTO A
BLACKBERRY THICKET.

ASHLEY PATCHED ME UP.

NOT BAD, DR. WALKER.
MAYBE A LITTLE TIGHT.

DR. BERGEN, WHY IS IT A PROBLEM

THAT THE BANDAGE IS TOO TIGHT?

THE MEDICAL REASON IS THAT
THE WOUND NEEDS AIR TO HEAL,

BUT THE REAL REASON

IS THAT DR. WALKER
DOESN'T LIKE PETE.

A PATIENT COMES TO YOU
AFTER TUMBLING DOWN A RAVINE.

DO YOU JUST PATCH HIM UP
AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY?

NO, I WOULD CHECK THE WOUND.

IF HE CAME IN CONTACT WITH,

I DON'T KNOW, POISON IVY,

HE COULD DEVELOP A SKIN RASH.

WHAT WOULD THE RASH LOOK LIKE?

YOU'RE FINE.

WHAT ELSE?

IF TOXINS WERE PRESENT,

THEY COULD POSE A HEALTH RISK.

SUCH AS?

SWELLING, NUMBNESS,
INFECTION LEADING TO GANGRENE.

Pete: WHAT?

WHAT IF IT WAS TREATED
WITH AN HERBICIDE?

I'D FLUSH THE WOUND WITH WATER.

IF THE CHEMICAL DOESN'T DILUTE?

I'D HOPE ANY RESIDUAL POISON

WOULD BE COUNTERACTED
BY THE DISINFECTANT.

HOPE... HOW COMFORTING IS THAT?

NOT VERY.

SEE?

I SEE YOUR POINT, DR. PEEL.

I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER,
SO I SHOULD GO LOOK IT UP.

YES. GOOD. 'CAUSE WHILE
YOU'RE AT THE LIBRARY,

YOU WON'T HAVE TO
WATCH YOUR FRIEND DIE.

WAIT, WAIT, SERIOUSLY,
BECAUSE MY ARM IS GETTING NUMB.

I WANT YOU TO GO
SPEAK WITH DR. KEMKER.

THEN WRITE ME A
PAPER FOR TOMORROW

ON THE DANGERS OF
WRAPPING AN ABRASION

WITHOUT DETERMINING
THE EXTENT OF THE INJURY.

I DIDN'T WRAP IT. ASHLEY DID.

OKAY. MAKE A COPY AND
GIVE IT TO DR. WALKER.

THAT'S SO UNFAIR.

I KNOW. SHE IS RIDING
YOU A LITTLE HARD.

A LITTLE?

JOHN GOODMAN'S MINIBIKE
ISN'T RIDDEN THIS HARD.

GOOD MORNING, BERG.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BERG.

THE COLON!

HEY, UH, T-TELL ME SOMETHING.

ARE THESE THE STEPS TO
OUR PLACE OR THE HOSPITAL?

OUR PLACE.

I GOT TO GO.

OKAY, IS THAT
EVERYTHING YOU NEED?

EVERYTHING BUT PETE.
I'LL SEE IF HE'S READY.

OKAY.

Pete: PSST, SHARON.

PETE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING DOWN THERE?

I DON'T WANT TO GO FISHING.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

DID YOU SAY ANYTHING TO JOHNNY

THAT MIGHT MAKE
HIM WANT TO HURT ME?

NO! I MEAN, I TOLD HIM
YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR ME.

THAT'S IT, I'M DONE FOR.

PETE, JOHNNY WOULD
NEVER HURT YOU.

HE RAN ME OVER, HE BROKE MY TOE,

AND HE NEARLY DROPPED
AN APPLIANCE ON MY HEAD.

FINE. IF HE HURTS YOU
AGAIN, I'LL TALK TO HIM.

LOOK, I CAN'T
BELIEVE THAT YOU...

THERE YOU ARE.

FURTHERMORE, YOU'RE UGLY
AND YOU DON'T SMELL NICE.

PETE... YOU HEARD ME, STINKY!

I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU PUT UP WITH HER.

Call 911.

WHAT IS WITH HIM?

OKAY, HE THINKS
YOU'RE OUT TO GET HIM.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
TAKING HIM FISHING.

I WOULD NEVER HURT PETE.

YEAH, I'M TAKING HIM FISHING

SO I CAN ASK HIM TO
BE IN OUR WEDDING.

REALLY? OH, MY GOD,
THAT IS SO SWEET.

YOU KNOW, ONCE
BERG HEARS ABOUT THIS,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO.

SO, HE'S REALLY SCARED, HUH?

HE WAS HIDING IN THE STAIRWELL.

WELL, NO SENSE IN WASTING THAT.

SO, UH, WHAT WERE
YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?

OH, IT REALLY
DOESN'T MATTER NOW.

WAVE BYE-BYE, PETE.

Woman: DR. LOMBARDO,
YOU'RE WANTED IN THE E.R.

FOR A CONSULTATION.

DR. LOMBARDO IN THE
E.R. FOR A CONSULTATION.

AHEM, DR. BERGEN.

DR. BERGEN.

DR. BERGEN.

OHH.

WE DIDN'T SLEEP
TOGETHER, DID WE?

FOR FUTURE REFERENCE,

A DOCTOR PASSED OUT
IN THE WAITING ROOM

IS LIKE A PILOT PASSED
OUT IN THE AIRPORT BAR.

SORRY.

YOU DID A VERY GOOD
JOB ON THIS PAPER.

THANK YOU.

DR. KEMKER SAID THAT YOU ASKED

SOME VERY INTELLIGENT QUESTIONS.

Ashley: BERG, YOU DID
A GOOD JOB ON THIS.

I LEARNED A LOT.

WHAT DID YOU THINK, DR. PEEL?

I-I THOUGHT IT WAS TERRIFIC.

DR. BERGEN, GO GIVE THE
NURSES A HAND WITH THE FILING.

HOLD ON, YOU DON'T HAVE
OTHER STUDENTS DO THAT.

NO. NO, I BELIEVE
YOU'RE THE FIRST.

MAYBE WE'LL PUT UP A PLAQUE.

I CAN'T WIN, OKAY? I CAN'T WIN.

EVEN WHEN I'M RIGHT, I'M WRONG.

YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRANSFER
TO YOUR ORIGINAL ROTATION.

I DON'T GET IT. I MEAN...

HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN
ANYONE WHO DIDN'T LIKE ME?

OF COURSE, BERG.

WHO? I WANT TO KNOW.

ALL RIGHT... MY MOM.

YOUR MOTHER LOVES ME.

OKAY, SWEETIE.

IT REALLY IS NICE BEING
OUT HERE ALL ALONE.

YEP. NOBODY AROUND
FOR MILES AND MILES.

YOU WANT TO HAND ME
ONE OF THEM LURES, PETE?

THAT'S, UH...

THAT'S SOME KNIFE YOU GOT THERE.

WHAT'S THAT, UH... FISH BLOOD?

MOST OF IT.

MY DAD TAUGHT ME
HOW TO GUT WITH THIS.

RIP.

YEAH, WELL, UM... MY
DAD TAUGHT ME JUDO.

WHOOSH!

WHOOSH!

THAT'S KARATE. JUDO'S
JUST FLIPS AND STUFF.

THAT'S AFTER THE FLIPS.

DID YOU GET INTO MANY FIGHTS

WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

YEAH. YEAH, WELL...

ENOUGH TO GET A REPUTATION.

YEAH?

WHAT KIND OF REPUTATION?

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS,

IF... IF YOU WANT
TO THROW DOWN...

I'LL THROW DOWN.

PETE...

JOHNNY, I'M WARNING
YOU, I WILL THROW DOWN!

I WILL!

JOHNNY, STAY AWAY FROM ME!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH! OH, YOU IDIOT!

I JUST WANTED TO INVITE
YOU TO BE IN MY WEDDING!

AAH!

REALLY?

OH!

OH, JOHNNY, I'D BE HONORED.

COME HERE.

OH, NO, DON'T.
JEEZ! KNOCK IT OFF.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
STAY STILL, STAY STILL.

MAYBE IT'S NOT THAT
BAD. LET ME LOOK.

DR. PEEL?

DR. BERGEN, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

ONE OF THE CANDY STRIPERS
FRACTURED HER WRIST.

OH... OH, OKAY,
I-I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

GO SIT WITH MRS. ABERNATHY
TILL SHE FALLS ASLEEP.

NO, DR. PEEL, THAT'S
ONE OF THE REASONS

I NEED TO... TO SEE YOU.

I SPOKE WITH DR. GORDON,

AND HE'S AGREED TO LET
ME INTO HIS PSYCH ROTATION.

I JUST NEED YOU TO
SIGN THE TRANSFER.

REALLY?

YEAH.

GREAT.

HERE, GIVE ME YOUR BACK.

DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

NO. I KNOW, DR. BERGEN...
BECAUSE YOU'RE A QUITTER,

WHAT MY SON WOULD CALL "A WUSS."

WAIT A MIN... HOLD ON, OKAY?

LOOK, IT'S... IT'S NOT
LIKE I CAN'T TAKE IT, OKAY?

YOU JUST... YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR.

DO I SIGN AT THE BOTTOM
OR INITIAL SOMEWHERE?

LOOK, DR. PEEL, THIS
IS IMPORTANT, OKAY?

YOU... YOU TREAT ME LIKE DIRT

AND THEN YOU ACT
LIKE IT'S SOME BIG JOKE.

EXCUSE ME?

NO, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO
SWITCHED ROTATIONS,

AND I'M NOT THE ONE WHO,

IF HE MAKES IT THROUGH
MEDICAL SCHOOL,

CAN LOOK FORWARD TO A CAREER

AS A TECHNICAL
ADVISOR TO A TV SHOW.

I'M GOING TO BE A GOOD DOCTOR.

YEAH? WELL, DON'T BE
WORKING EMERGENCY

WHEN MY RELATIVES
ARE BROUGHT IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU JUST DON'T LIKE ME.

YOU CAN'T SEE PAST
YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS!

I'M SORRY... DR. BERGEN...

I HAVE NEVER
REGRETTED MY DECISION

TO BECOME A PHYSICIAN,

BUT THERE HAVE BEEN
NIGHTS WHEN I HAVE WEPT

OVER MY INABILITY
TO HELP A PATIENT,

AND I FINISHED AT
THE TOP OF MY CLASS.

I WORKED MY ASS OFF.

I SHUDDER TO THINK OF THE CARE

A DOCTOR LIKE YOU
WOULD PROVIDE...

SOMEONE WHO'S ALWAYS
LOOKING FOR THE EASY WAY OUT,

THE SHORTER HOURS,

WHO'S ALWAYS WHINING ABOUT
HOW THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT

DOESN'T APPRECIATE
HIS COMIC GENIUS.

WELL, J-JUST LET ME
SIGN YOUR TRANSFER,

AND THEN, MAYBE ON THE WAY HOME,

YOU CAN STOP AND
RENT "PATCH ADAMS."

YOU REALLY DON'T THINK
I'D MAKE A GOOD DOCTOR?

OH, WORSE THAN THAT,

I THINK THAT YOUR CHARM
AND YOUR PERSONALITY

WILL GIVE PATIENTS
CONFIDENCE IN SKILLS

THAT YOU WERE TOO
DISTRACTED TO EVER MASTER.

YOU'RE WRONG. DR. PEEL,
YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.

I'M NOT TRANSFERRING.

ASSIGN ME 72 HOURS
STRAIGHT. I DON'T CARE.

I'M GOING TO BE A GOOD DOCTOR.

YOU'LL SEE THAT.

WHEN I'M WORKING EMERGENCY,

YOU'LL PRAY FOR A LOVED ONE
TO GET IN A SERIOUS ACCIDENT.

Pete: WE NEED A
LITTLE HELP HERE!

Berg: PETE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S JOHNNY... I HURT HIM.

W-WHAT HAPPENED?

I ASKED HIM TO BE IN MY WEDDING,

AND HE THREW LURES AT ME.

Together: OHH!

I'LL GET DR. WALKER.

HOLD ON! I'M THE ONE ON DUTY.

I CAN HANDLE THIS.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

I CAN DO THIS!

I KNOW YOU THINK I'M A
ROTTEN DOCTOR, BUT...

BUT YOU GOT TO GIVE ME A
CHANCE TO PROVE YOU WRONG!

I'M NOT EVEN AT 100% HERE.

I'VE HAD 3 HOURS
SLEEP IN THE LAST 48.

MY HANDS ARE SHAKING

FROM THE GALLON OF
COFFEE I JUST DRANK,

BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF I
CAN'T STITCH AN EYEBROW!

WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU THINK BERG'S
A ROTTEN DOCTOR?

ALL RIGHT, DR. BERGEN, SCRUB UP.

HE'S YOUR PATIENT.

WHOA, WHOA! HOLD THE PHONE HERE!

THIS IS MY FACE
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

DON'T I HAVE ANY SAY?

CAN'T HE WARM UP ON
SOMEONE HOMELIER FIRST?

ARE YOU OKAY?

ASHLEY'S MESSAGE JUST
SAID YOU WERE HURT.

YOU DIDN'T TELL HER
HE WAS ALL RIGHT?

WORRY'S GOOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP.

HE DID A GOOD JOB.
DOESN'T EVEN HURT.

IS THERE GOING TO
BE A SCAR, BERG?

IS THERE GOING TO BE
A SCAR, DR. BERGEN?

WELL, UH, SEEING AS
HE'S MY FIRST PATIENT,

I'M KIND OF CURIOUS
ABOUT THAT MYSELF.

IF THAT SCAR SHOWS UP
IN THE WEDDING PICTURES,

THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOUR BODY.

OW!

Woman: DR. BERGEN,
DR. BERGEN, REPORT TO THE O.R.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...

I HAVE LIVES TO SAVE.

AND BRING A MOP.

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