Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 3, Episode 19 - War Stories - full transcript
Berg is still on probation and so he was transferred to the morgue where he can't do any more damage. He finds himself very attracted to the funeral home worker. Johnny ruins a wall in Irene's place and she is forced to spend the night with Johnny and Sharon. She brings her two cats that she wants to breed, which keeps Johnny and Sharon awake. Irene and Sharon hit it off and Johnny becomes upset. There is a new trainee fireman, Marti, and she is determined to be the next proper fireman instead of Pete. Things become very competitive at the training day.
HEY.
HEY.
WHAT'S WITH THE BEER?
WOMEN.
WHAT'S WITH THE NECK BRACE?
WOMEN.
LET ME GUESS.
HOT ONE TO THE RIGHT!
HOT ONE TO THE LEFT!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
SHE-DEVIL... FRONT AND CENTER.
I CANNOT WAIT TO
HEAR THIS STORY.
RIGHT AFTER I'M DONE
TELLING YOU MINE.
SO, IT ALL STARTED
BECAUSE OF MY PROBATION.
THEY ASSIGNED ME TO THE
ONE GROUP OF PATIENTS
THAT I CAN NO LONGER HARM.
I'M GONNA TAKE THREE.
AND YOU'RE GOOD?
OOH, BERG, DON'T
LET HIM RAISE YOU.
HE'S GOT A KING-HIGH STRAIGHT.
DAMN, HE HAS A GOOD POKER FACE!
HERE. I BROUGHT YOU SOME
COFFEE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
SO, HOW ARE YOU
HANDLIN' YOUR PROBATION?
AWESOME. OTHER THAN
JOHN DOE 1 AND JOHN DOE 2,
I HAVE THE THIRD-BEST LIFE HERE.
EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A
MR. ANDERSON IN HERE?
OH, YEAH, HE'S RIGHT
BEHIND ME. RIGHT HERE.
OH, GOD!
OH, I'M SORRY. DID YOU KNOW HIM?
NO, I'VE GOT TO THAW
SOME MEAT FOR DINNER.
OKAY, WELL, ON THAT NOTE,
MORTICIA, GOMEZ,
HAVE A NICE DAY.
HI. I'M DR. BERGEN.
OH, HI, TARA ROBERTS.
I WORK AT THE FUNERAL
HOME. I'M HIS RIDE.
SO, YOU WORK AT A
FUNERAL HOME, HUH?
UH-HUH.
I see dead people.
I hear that all the time.
DID THIS... THIS DOESN'T
CREEP YOU OUT AT ALL?
NO. I'VE BEEN HIT ON BEFORE.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
HEY, HAVE YOU EVER DRUNK
MAPLE SYRUP STRAIGHT
FROM THE TREE?
UH, NO.
MY ROOMMATE AND
I... WE HAVE A FRIDGE.
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 8:00!
WE'RE GOING TO VERMONT!
UH... WOW, YOU, UH...
Y-YOU DON'T WASTE
ANY TIME, DO YA?
NO, NO. IF THERE'S ONE THING
YOU LEARN FROM THIS JOB,
IT'S THAT LIFE IS VERY SHORT.
YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE
EVERY MOMENT.
BESIDES... YOU HAVE NIC EYES.
AND YOUR LIPS AREN'T BLUE.
OH.
SORRY, BOYS, SHE LIKES 'EM LIVE.
HEY, JOHNNY, WHAT'S
WITH THE FLOWERS?
WOMEN.
BACK OF THE LINE, PAL.
SO, ANYWAY, VERMONT WAS AMAZING.
TARA AND I... WE DRANK
SYRUP STRAIGHT FROM A TREE
AND THEN WASHED
THAT BACK WITH MILK
RIGHT FROM THE COW'S TEAT.
SO, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
WHAT, YOU MET A BEAUTIFUL GIRL,
YOU SUCKED SOME SAP,
AND FONDLED A COW.
BUT WAIT. IT GETS WEIRD.
WELL, IT BETTER.
SO FAR, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
HELLO, IRENE. HEY, IRENE.
HEY, LOOK, IT'S "THE BERGY-WERGY
BUGLE BOY" AND "COMPANY PETE."
IRENE, THAT'S A NICE
JACKET YOU GOT THERE.
I THINK JOHNNY HAS A
STORY HE'D LIKE TO SHARE.
HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
STUFFING ENVELOPES FOR
THE CHARITY FUNDRAISER.
DON'T KISS ME. YOU'LL STICK.
CHARITY... GOOD,
KEEP THAT IN MIND
BECAUSE I HAVE SOME NEWS.
I WAS UPSTAIRS WORKING...
YOU KNOW, BEING VERY CAREFUL...
TAKING EVERY SAFETY PRECAUTION.
TO MAKE A LONG STORY
SHORT, I BLEW UP A WALL.
WHAT?
SO, UNTIL I FIX IT... HI, ROOMY!
I WON'T BE A BOTHER.
I'M JUST GONNA GIVE
THE CATS A TOUR.
NO!
OH, WHY NOT? IT'S
ONLY ONE NIGHT.
THINK OF IT AS AN EXTENSION
OF YOUR CHARITY WORK.
YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING STUFF
TO HELP THE UNFORTUNATE.
HUH? Who's more
unfortunate than Irene?
COULDN'T WE JUST INVITE A
CARNIVAL FREAK TO STAY WITH US?
OKAY, OKAY!
HEY, IRENE, LET ME SHOW YOU
WHERE WE KEEP THE GUEST TOWELS.
SO, WHERE ARE
YOUR OTHER 37 CATS?
OH, UPSTAIRS. THEY'L L BE FINE.
I JUST BROUGHT "CHAIRMAN MEOW"
AND "PURR-SCILLA,
QUEE N OF THE DESERT"
BECAUSE I'M TRYING
TO BREED THEM.
DO YOU HAVE A PILLOW?
OH, AND SOME SINATRA?
OH, GOD, FINISH!
ARE THEY DONE?
I THINK...
BUT IT TAKES A WHILE
FOR THEM TO DISENGAGE.
OKAY, NOW I'M UP.
IRENE, IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.
I'M NOCTURNAL, EXCEPT,
I'M NOT NOCTURNAL TOTALLY
BECAUSE I DON'T SLEEP
IN THE DAY, EITHER.
HEY, YOU GUYS WANT
TO PLAY "SORRY"?
I'M PLAYING IT RIGHT NOW.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
UP TO IRENE'S TO
START FIXIN' HER WALL.
PERHAPS ADD A LITTLE PADDING.
WHAT ARE ALL THESE
GREETING CARDS?
OH, I DON'T JUST WORK IN
A GREETING CARD STORE.
IT IS MY PASSION, AND ONE DAY
I HOPE TO HAVE MY OWN
LINE OF SALUTATIONS.
HERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"NO BARS OR GUARDS
OR PRISON DOGS
"CAN KEEP MY LOVE AWAY.
"MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO
STAY OUT OF THE HOLE.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY."
IT'S FOR MY DAD.
Y-Y-YOUR DAD'S IN JAIL?
NO, SILLY, HE'S OUT
ON BAIL PENDING TRIAL!
WHAT DID HE DO?
OH, IT WAS JUST SOME MIX-UP
OVER SOMEBODY'S CREDIT CARD.
HE WAS USING IT. HE
THOUGHT IT WAS HIS.
IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE. I
WISH I GOT TO SEE HIM MORE.
YEAH. I DON'T GET TO
SEE MY DAD MUCH, EITHER.
OH.
WHAT DO THEY THINK HE DID?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE JUST WORKED A LOT.
I HARDLY SAW HIM GROWING UP.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT.
HEY, DID YOUR DAD MISS
YOUR BALLET RECITAL?
YES. BUSINESS TRIP.
PETTY THEFT.
SO, IRENE ACTED WEIRD
AND WAS ANNOYING...
YEAH, THAT'S ORIGINAL.
SO, I HAVE A STORY THAT
YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD.
I'M AT THE FIRE STATION.
ARE YOU GONNA EXPLAIN THE
NECK BRACE IN A TIMELY MANNER?
I WAS BUT NOW,
LET'S TAKE A JOURNEY.
SHALL WE?
HEY, ROOK...
PICK THE BLUEBERRIES
OUT OF MY PANCAKES.
I CHANGED MY MIND.
YOU KNOW, GUYS,
I'M SICK OF THIS.
'CAUSE I'M THE ROOKIE DOESN'T
MEAN I SHOULD GET ABUSED!
I FEED YOU GUYS, I
PICK UP AFTER YOU...
DO YOU THINK THIS
PLACE CLEANS ITSELF?!
OH, NO, CHUCK, MOMMY'S MAD!
OKAY, OKAY, FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU JUST LOST TV TIME.
GUYS...
I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO OUR NEW VOLUNTEER.
MEET MARTY.
HER DAD WAS FRANK
DELANEY FROM THE 62nd.
LET'S GO, GUYS!
ALL RIGHT, ROOK...
I, UH, I THINK I SHOULD EXPLAIN
HOW THINGS WORK AROUND HERE.
YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE SOME NOTES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
BALL IT UP AND SHOVE IT.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
BITE ME, LADY.
OKAY, YOU'RE VERY CRASS.
I KNOW HOW THINGS
WORK AROUND HERE.
I WANT THE NEXT SPOT ON THE
TRUCK, AND YOU'RE IN MY WAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.T HAT'S
RIGHT, I'M IN YOUR WAY.
I'M GONNA STAY IN YOUR WAY,
SO YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT.
DO YOU STAND THIS
CLOSE TO OTHER FIREMEN?
OH, GOD, I'M SORRY.
OH, LOOK WHO'S NO
LONGER IN MY WAY!
AND THEN, SHE BEAT YOU UP,
AND THAT'S HOW YOU
GOT THE NECK BRACE.
WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A
DATE WITH THAT COW? RELAX!
HEY, CAPTAIN, I
FINISHED AXIN' THE TRUCK.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE?
PETE. UH-HUH?
YOU DO KNOW THAT'S
JUST BUSY WORK, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE, I DO.
I WAS JUST FINDIN'
SOMETHIN' TO DO
UNTIL IT WAS TIME
TO... COUNT THE BOOTS.
HEY!
PHLEGM!
YOU FORGOT TO CLEAN
THE SIDE MIRRORS.
LUCKY I'M HERE TO
ADD THE OTHER CHEEK
TO YOUR HALF-ASSED JOB.
OKAY, DO YOU HEAR
THE MOUTH ON HER?
DOES THAT BOTHER ANYBODY ELSE?
SHE'S A PEACH.
WHAT IS WITH YOU GUYS?!
WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE HER A BAD TIME?
BE PATIENT. WE'RE JUST
WAITIN' FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.
I'M NOT DOIN'
ANYTHING NOW.LET'S GO.
NO.
SHE'LL GET HERS AT
SATURDAY'S TRAININ' EXERCISES.
WE RIGGED THE PRESSURE
ON HER FIRE HOSE.
SHE MIGHT BE A
LITTLE OFF TARGET,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THERE'LL BE SO MUCH
PRESSURE IN THAT HOSE,
THE WHOLE SQUAD
COULDN'T HOLD ON TO IT.
THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR.
THE TRAINING'S
DIFFERENT OR WOMEN.
SHE GETS TO CARRY
50 POUNDS UP A LADDER
WHEN YOU CARRY 100.
NO WAY! I HAVE TO CARRY
100 POUNDS UP A LADDER?!
THIS AFFECTS ALL OF US.
SHE'LL PROBABLY MAKE
CAPTAIN BEFORE I DO!
THE DOG WILL MAKE
CAPTAIN BEFORE YOU DO.
LOOK, WE FIGURE A
LITTLE HUMILIATION
WILL ENCOURAGE HER
TO DO WHAT WE ALL WANT,
AND THAT'S QUIT.
THAT'S SUCH A COLORFUL
STORY. COULD YOU...
SKIP OVER THE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
AND GET TO THE NECK BRACE?
BERG, I'M TRYING
TO SPIN A YARN HERE.
JOHNNY'S INTO IT.
DO I STILL HAVE
VANILLA IN MY HAIR?
FINE. TELL YOUR STORY
IF IT'S MORE INTERESTING.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
SO TARA AND I... WE WERE
ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING WILD.
SHE'S FREE AND EXCITING
AND WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING.
Tara: AAH! DO THAT AGAIN!
Berg: THAT WASN'T ME.
THANK YOU, BUT WE DON'T
NEED TURN-DOWN SERVICE.
ASHLEY, THIS IS TARA.
TARA, THIS IS ASHLEY.
OOH. MAN!
IF I WERE INTO GIRLS,
I'D BE ALL OVER YOU.
IS SHE NOT GREAT OR WHAT?
OH, I'VE GOT TO RUN, BUT
THE BEAUTY OF A HEARSE...
I CAN ALWAYS USE
THE CAR POOL LANE.
YOU'RE ON PROBATION.
DON'T YOU THINK THAT THIS
IS A TAD BIT IRRESPONSIBLE?
NO, I DON'T.
ASH, I AM TIRED OF
BEING RESPONSIBLE.
AT LEAST WHEN I
WAS IRRESPONSIBLE,
I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
I'M HAPPY!
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
THAT YOU SAW ME HAPPY?
THE "BAYWATCH" MARATHON.
YEAH.
OKAY, MAYBE I JUST NEED
TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER.
LET'S DO IT TONIGHT.
BERG, I WAS JUST BEING POLITE.
THIS IS THE WAY TARA AND I
DO THINGS... SPONTANEOUS!
ACTUALLY, I HAVE A DATE
WITH NOMAR TONIGHT.
WE'LL DOUBLE DATE!
TARA'S A HUGE BASEBALL FAN.
SHE EVEN MET HIM ONCE.
REALLY? WELL,
NO, NOT OFFICIALLY.
SHE WAS ACTUALLY STREAKING
ACROSS THE FIELD AND SECURITY
TACKLED HER BEFORE SHE
COULD INTRODUCE HERSELF.
OH, AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF
ME WITH MY DAD AT THE AIRPORT.
HE HAD A LAYOVER IN TOWN.
YOU LOOK LIKE HIM.
SHARON, I'M REALLY GLAD
I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU
BETTER THEE LAST FEW DAYS.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO MAKE
FRIENDS WITH MY NEIGHBORS.
I WONDER WHY.
I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT WE'VE GOTTEN TO
KNOW EACH OTHER, TOO.
REALLY?
YES! I ADMIT WHEN JOHNNY
FIRST INVITED YOU TO STAY,
I WASN'T THRILLED.
BUT NOW, I'VE COME
TO SEE PAST YOUR...
YOUR...
I MEAN, THE OTHER
SIDE WHEN YOU'RE NOT...
HOW DO I SAY THIS?
YOU FOUND THE NOUGAT
UNDER MY NUTTY COATING.
I'D HAVE GONE WITH "BAMBOO
UNDER MY FINGERNAIL."
AND LOOK! I MADE YOU A
CARD FOR YOUR CHARITY 10K.
SEE, IT'S THE TORTOISE
AND THE HARE.
"DON'T BE A DOOFUS...
LET'S ALL FIGHT LUPUS."
HEY, IRENE, I GOT A CARD FOR YA.
"FOUR DAYS AGO, I
FIXED YOUR WALL,
YET EVERY DAY,
YOU COME TO CALL."
JOHNNY, KNOCK IT OFF.
OH, OH, I BET YOU TWO
WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE.
YES, IRENE, WE WOULD.
I'LL JUST BE IN THE
LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM.
PERFECT TIME TO TINKLE.
LOOK, SHARON, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
SHE COMES DOWN
HERE EVERY 10 MINUTES!
SHE HAS TO COME DOWN
AND CHECK ON THE CATS!
THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE BABIES!
ON MY BATHROBE!
Tell Irene to stop
comin' down here!
LOOK, I WILL NOT! I'VE
REALLY GOTTEN TO LIKE HER!
THE OLD SHARON WOULDN'T
HAVE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT!
LATELY, I LOOK AT YOU
WITH YOUR CHARITY WORK
AND YOUR PUTTIN' UP WITH PEOPLE,
AND I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
WELL, I AM A BETTER PERSON NOW.
WELL STOP IT!,
THAT'S NOT THE WAY
OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS.
I AM THE GOOD COP AND
YOU ARE THE BAD COP.
WHY CAN'T WE BE
GOOD COP, GOOD COP?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT... A
WORLD FULL OF GOOD COPS?!
FINE. FINE. WE'LL
BOTH BE GOOD COPS
BECAUSE I WILL
NOT BE THE BAD GUY.
JOHNNY, I JUST...
YOU GONNA BE LONG? I
COULD TAKE A SHOWER.
GET OUT!
WHAT?
LEAVE US IN PEACE.
I DON'T WANT TO
HURT YOUR FEELINGS,
BUT YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.
SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?
I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY,
BUT WE HAVE ONE MORE
TRAINING EXERCISE TO DO.
NOW, YOU TWO KNOW THE DRILL.
PETE, TAKE THE WINDOW
ABOVE THE DOOR,
MARTY, THE ONE TO
THE LEFT OF THAT.
THAT MEANS THE CRISPY FAMILY
LIVES IN THE ONE ABOVE THE DOOR.
CAPTAIN, ARE CRISPY
FAMILIES FUNNY?
NO, THEY ARE NOT.
OKAY...
ON THE COUNT OF THREE,
RUN TO YOUR HOSES.
1... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
SORRY, CAPTAIN.
GOMER NEEDS HELP.
HOSE SQUIRT WATER, FIRE GO AWAY.
ALL RIGHT... LET
ME USE THAT ONE.
NO!
MOVE!
WHAT'S GOING ON, DUNVILLE?!
Chuck: STOP FOOLIN' AROUND.
YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
NO WONDER EVERYBODY AT
THE FIRE HOUSE LAUGHS AT YOU.
FINE.
TAKE THAT HOSE. YOU
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.
Captain: OKAY, ON MY COUNT.
1... 2...
3! HEY!
AAAAAAHHHHHH!
WHOA!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
ALL RIGHT! GO! LET'S DO IT!
HEY, WHERE'S NOMAR?
THEY WENT INTO EXTRA INNINGS.
WHY ARE WE AT THE AIRPORT
AND WHERE HAVE
THE TWO OF YOU BEEN?
WE HOPPED A FENCE,
RAN ONTO THE RUNWAY,
AND LAID UNDERNEATH
A PLANE AS IT TOOK OFF.
YOU SEE, TARA KNOWS
EXACTLY HOW CLOSE WE CAN GET
WITHOUT ACTUALLY GETTING...
CAUGHT UP IN THE LANDING GEAR.
WELL, I... I CAN'T
TAKE THE CREDIT.
MY FRIEND BILL TAUGHT ME.
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
SO, IS THIS WHEREWE'RE
EATING DINNER?
I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I LOVE A GOOD $12 BAGEL.
NO, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
WAIT HERE. I'LL SURPRISE YOU.
YOU ALWAYS DO.
OKAY.
AW, ISN'T SHE GREAT?
SO...
SO CAREFREE, YOU
KNOW, SO ADVENTUROUS.
YOU'RE SICK OF HER.
NO, I'M SCARED OF HER.
SHE DRAGGED ME ONTO A RUNWAY.
I DON'T LIKE TO FLY.
I LIKE EVEN LESS
TO BE LANDED ON.
THIS IS SUCH A MESS.
YOU KNOW, I...
WHAT THE HELL WAS
I THINKING?! GOD!
OH, BERG, COME ON, IT
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
YEAH. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A
REALLY ROUGH STRETCH LATELY
AND YOU'RE JUST
REACHING OUT FOR SOMEONE
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING.
HEY... IF YOU THINK
ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE PERSON
YOU CAN COUNT ON FOR HAPPINESS.
YEAH.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
WHAT... NO!
I THOUGHT YOU... WERE
THE ONE I COULD RELY ON!
I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU!
YOU HAVE TO FEEL GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU MORON!
SHE MADE A PASS AT
ME, AND I SAID, "NO!"
SO, NOBODY'S GOT ANY IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE TODAY?
FINE. WELL, MAYBE
SOMEONE WILL REMEMBER
WHEN YOU'RE ALL
ON YOUR 5th MILE.
I WANT EVERYONE ON
THE TRACK IN 10 MINUTES.
UH, CAPTAIN...
WHAT... WHAT ABOUT ME?
YEAH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
RUN CAREFULLY.
YOU WERE SMART TO KEEP
YOUR MOUTH SHUT, DUNVILLE.
YOU'RE A REAL
GENIUS, CHEESE WAD.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
YOU'RE MY PROBLEM!
YOU HAD NO BUSINESS
MAKING A FOOL OUT OF ME!
OH, YEAH, YOU LOOKED SO
STUPID WATCHING ME BANG
FROM TREE TO TREE LIKE
GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE!
YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW HOW THEY
FEEL ABOUT WOMEN AROUND HERE?
I'M NEVER GONNA PROVE MYSELF
IF YOU'RE RUNNING INTERFERENCE!
I DON'T NEED ANYBODY
TO BE MY BIG BROTHER!
UNBELIEVABLE... YOU'RE
RUDE AND YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL.
FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN
FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES
BECAUSE I'M NOT WATCHING
YOUR BACK ANYMORE!
GOOD!
FINE!
STARTING NOW.
FINALLY!
I WOULD HAVE TOLD THAT
STORY, "SOME GIRL HURT MY NECK."
A LOT MORE CONCISE.
THE FLOWERS ARE NOT
FOR SHARON, RIGHT?
NO. NO, IRENE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
GIRL FROM THE MORGUE?
LAST TIME I SAW HER, SHE
WAS DRIVING OFF A CLIFF
IN A CONVERTIBLE
WITH HER BEST FRIEND.
I'M SORRY, MAN.
IF I COMFORT YOU, YOU
WON'T KISS ME, WILL YOU?
OOH, VISITOR! OH!
YOU!
YEAH.
IRENE, I FEEL REALLY BAD
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
AND I MADE YOU A CARD,
SO, HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO FORGIVE ME.
"I'M SORRY I KICKED YOU OUT.
IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO SHOUT.
"SO IF YOU CAN FORGIVE,
I'LL LET YOUR CATS LIVE
IN MY BATHTUB OR
MAYBE MY CLOSET."
NOW I FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT
CHAIRMAN MEOW DID IN YOUR SHOES.
WHAT DID HE DO IN MY SHOES?
GOODBYE!
HEY.
WHAT'S WITH THE BEER?
WOMEN.
WHAT'S WITH THE NECK BRACE?
WOMEN.
LET ME GUESS.
HOT ONE TO THE RIGHT!
HOT ONE TO THE LEFT!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
SHE-DEVIL... FRONT AND CENTER.
I CANNOT WAIT TO
HEAR THIS STORY.
RIGHT AFTER I'M DONE
TELLING YOU MINE.
SO, IT ALL STARTED
BECAUSE OF MY PROBATION.
THEY ASSIGNED ME TO THE
ONE GROUP OF PATIENTS
THAT I CAN NO LONGER HARM.
I'M GONNA TAKE THREE.
AND YOU'RE GOOD?
OOH, BERG, DON'T
LET HIM RAISE YOU.
HE'S GOT A KING-HIGH STRAIGHT.
DAMN, HE HAS A GOOD POKER FACE!
HERE. I BROUGHT YOU SOME
COFFEE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
SO, HOW ARE YOU
HANDLIN' YOUR PROBATION?
AWESOME. OTHER THAN
JOHN DOE 1 AND JOHN DOE 2,
I HAVE THE THIRD-BEST LIFE HERE.
EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A
MR. ANDERSON IN HERE?
OH, YEAH, HE'S RIGHT
BEHIND ME. RIGHT HERE.
OH, GOD!
OH, I'M SORRY. DID YOU KNOW HIM?
NO, I'VE GOT TO THAW
SOME MEAT FOR DINNER.
OKAY, WELL, ON THAT NOTE,
MORTICIA, GOMEZ,
HAVE A NICE DAY.
HI. I'M DR. BERGEN.
OH, HI, TARA ROBERTS.
I WORK AT THE FUNERAL
HOME. I'M HIS RIDE.
SO, YOU WORK AT A
FUNERAL HOME, HUH?
UH-HUH.
I see dead people.
I hear that all the time.
DID THIS... THIS DOESN'T
CREEP YOU OUT AT ALL?
NO. I'VE BEEN HIT ON BEFORE.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
HEY, HAVE YOU EVER DRUNK
MAPLE SYRUP STRAIGHT
FROM THE TREE?
UH, NO.
MY ROOMMATE AND
I... WE HAVE A FRIDGE.
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 8:00!
WE'RE GOING TO VERMONT!
UH... WOW, YOU, UH...
Y-YOU DON'T WASTE
ANY TIME, DO YA?
NO, NO. IF THERE'S ONE THING
YOU LEARN FROM THIS JOB,
IT'S THAT LIFE IS VERY SHORT.
YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE
EVERY MOMENT.
BESIDES... YOU HAVE NIC EYES.
AND YOUR LIPS AREN'T BLUE.
OH.
SORRY, BOYS, SHE LIKES 'EM LIVE.
HEY, JOHNNY, WHAT'S
WITH THE FLOWERS?
WOMEN.
BACK OF THE LINE, PAL.
SO, ANYWAY, VERMONT WAS AMAZING.
TARA AND I... WE DRANK
SYRUP STRAIGHT FROM A TREE
AND THEN WASHED
THAT BACK WITH MILK
RIGHT FROM THE COW'S TEAT.
SO, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
WHAT, YOU MET A BEAUTIFUL GIRL,
YOU SUCKED SOME SAP,
AND FONDLED A COW.
BUT WAIT. IT GETS WEIRD.
WELL, IT BETTER.
SO FAR, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
HELLO, IRENE. HEY, IRENE.
HEY, LOOK, IT'S "THE BERGY-WERGY
BUGLE BOY" AND "COMPANY PETE."
IRENE, THAT'S A NICE
JACKET YOU GOT THERE.
I THINK JOHNNY HAS A
STORY HE'D LIKE TO SHARE.
HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
STUFFING ENVELOPES FOR
THE CHARITY FUNDRAISER.
DON'T KISS ME. YOU'LL STICK.
CHARITY... GOOD,
KEEP THAT IN MIND
BECAUSE I HAVE SOME NEWS.
I WAS UPSTAIRS WORKING...
YOU KNOW, BEING VERY CAREFUL...
TAKING EVERY SAFETY PRECAUTION.
TO MAKE A LONG STORY
SHORT, I BLEW UP A WALL.
WHAT?
SO, UNTIL I FIX IT... HI, ROOMY!
I WON'T BE A BOTHER.
I'M JUST GONNA GIVE
THE CATS A TOUR.
NO!
OH, WHY NOT? IT'S
ONLY ONE NIGHT.
THINK OF IT AS AN EXTENSION
OF YOUR CHARITY WORK.
YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING STUFF
TO HELP THE UNFORTUNATE.
HUH? Who's more
unfortunate than Irene?
COULDN'T WE JUST INVITE A
CARNIVAL FREAK TO STAY WITH US?
OKAY, OKAY!
HEY, IRENE, LET ME SHOW YOU
WHERE WE KEEP THE GUEST TOWELS.
SO, WHERE ARE
YOUR OTHER 37 CATS?
OH, UPSTAIRS. THEY'L L BE FINE.
I JUST BROUGHT "CHAIRMAN MEOW"
AND "PURR-SCILLA,
QUEE N OF THE DESERT"
BECAUSE I'M TRYING
TO BREED THEM.
DO YOU HAVE A PILLOW?
OH, AND SOME SINATRA?
OH, GOD, FINISH!
ARE THEY DONE?
I THINK...
BUT IT TAKES A WHILE
FOR THEM TO DISENGAGE.
OKAY, NOW I'M UP.
IRENE, IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.
I'M NOCTURNAL, EXCEPT,
I'M NOT NOCTURNAL TOTALLY
BECAUSE I DON'T SLEEP
IN THE DAY, EITHER.
HEY, YOU GUYS WANT
TO PLAY "SORRY"?
I'M PLAYING IT RIGHT NOW.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
UP TO IRENE'S TO
START FIXIN' HER WALL.
PERHAPS ADD A LITTLE PADDING.
WHAT ARE ALL THESE
GREETING CARDS?
OH, I DON'T JUST WORK IN
A GREETING CARD STORE.
IT IS MY PASSION, AND ONE DAY
I HOPE TO HAVE MY OWN
LINE OF SALUTATIONS.
HERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"NO BARS OR GUARDS
OR PRISON DOGS
"CAN KEEP MY LOVE AWAY.
"MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO
STAY OUT OF THE HOLE.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY."
IT'S FOR MY DAD.
Y-Y-YOUR DAD'S IN JAIL?
NO, SILLY, HE'S OUT
ON BAIL PENDING TRIAL!
WHAT DID HE DO?
OH, IT WAS JUST SOME MIX-UP
OVER SOMEBODY'S CREDIT CARD.
HE WAS USING IT. HE
THOUGHT IT WAS HIS.
IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE. I
WISH I GOT TO SEE HIM MORE.
YEAH. I DON'T GET TO
SEE MY DAD MUCH, EITHER.
OH.
WHAT DO THEY THINK HE DID?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE JUST WORKED A LOT.
I HARDLY SAW HIM GROWING UP.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT.
HEY, DID YOUR DAD MISS
YOUR BALLET RECITAL?
YES. BUSINESS TRIP.
PETTY THEFT.
SO, IRENE ACTED WEIRD
AND WAS ANNOYING...
YEAH, THAT'S ORIGINAL.
SO, I HAVE A STORY THAT
YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD.
I'M AT THE FIRE STATION.
ARE YOU GONNA EXPLAIN THE
NECK BRACE IN A TIMELY MANNER?
I WAS BUT NOW,
LET'S TAKE A JOURNEY.
SHALL WE?
HEY, ROOK...
PICK THE BLUEBERRIES
OUT OF MY PANCAKES.
I CHANGED MY MIND.
YOU KNOW, GUYS,
I'M SICK OF THIS.
'CAUSE I'M THE ROOKIE DOESN'T
MEAN I SHOULD GET ABUSED!
I FEED YOU GUYS, I
PICK UP AFTER YOU...
DO YOU THINK THIS
PLACE CLEANS ITSELF?!
OH, NO, CHUCK, MOMMY'S MAD!
OKAY, OKAY, FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU JUST LOST TV TIME.
GUYS...
I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO OUR NEW VOLUNTEER.
MEET MARTY.
HER DAD WAS FRANK
DELANEY FROM THE 62nd.
LET'S GO, GUYS!
ALL RIGHT, ROOK...
I, UH, I THINK I SHOULD EXPLAIN
HOW THINGS WORK AROUND HERE.
YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE SOME NOTES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
BALL IT UP AND SHOVE IT.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
BITE ME, LADY.
OKAY, YOU'RE VERY CRASS.
I KNOW HOW THINGS
WORK AROUND HERE.
I WANT THE NEXT SPOT ON THE
TRUCK, AND YOU'RE IN MY WAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.T HAT'S
RIGHT, I'M IN YOUR WAY.
I'M GONNA STAY IN YOUR WAY,
SO YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT.
DO YOU STAND THIS
CLOSE TO OTHER FIREMEN?
OH, GOD, I'M SORRY.
OH, LOOK WHO'S NO
LONGER IN MY WAY!
AND THEN, SHE BEAT YOU UP,
AND THAT'S HOW YOU
GOT THE NECK BRACE.
WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A
DATE WITH THAT COW? RELAX!
HEY, CAPTAIN, I
FINISHED AXIN' THE TRUCK.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE?
PETE. UH-HUH?
YOU DO KNOW THAT'S
JUST BUSY WORK, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE, I DO.
I WAS JUST FINDIN'
SOMETHIN' TO DO
UNTIL IT WAS TIME
TO... COUNT THE BOOTS.
HEY!
PHLEGM!
YOU FORGOT TO CLEAN
THE SIDE MIRRORS.
LUCKY I'M HERE TO
ADD THE OTHER CHEEK
TO YOUR HALF-ASSED JOB.
OKAY, DO YOU HEAR
THE MOUTH ON HER?
DOES THAT BOTHER ANYBODY ELSE?
SHE'S A PEACH.
WHAT IS WITH YOU GUYS?!
WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE HER A BAD TIME?
BE PATIENT. WE'RE JUST
WAITIN' FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.
I'M NOT DOIN'
ANYTHING NOW.LET'S GO.
NO.
SHE'LL GET HERS AT
SATURDAY'S TRAININ' EXERCISES.
WE RIGGED THE PRESSURE
ON HER FIRE HOSE.
SHE MIGHT BE A
LITTLE OFF TARGET,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THERE'LL BE SO MUCH
PRESSURE IN THAT HOSE,
THE WHOLE SQUAD
COULDN'T HOLD ON TO IT.
THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR.
THE TRAINING'S
DIFFERENT OR WOMEN.
SHE GETS TO CARRY
50 POUNDS UP A LADDER
WHEN YOU CARRY 100.
NO WAY! I HAVE TO CARRY
100 POUNDS UP A LADDER?!
THIS AFFECTS ALL OF US.
SHE'LL PROBABLY MAKE
CAPTAIN BEFORE I DO!
THE DOG WILL MAKE
CAPTAIN BEFORE YOU DO.
LOOK, WE FIGURE A
LITTLE HUMILIATION
WILL ENCOURAGE HER
TO DO WHAT WE ALL WANT,
AND THAT'S QUIT.
THAT'S SUCH A COLORFUL
STORY. COULD YOU...
SKIP OVER THE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
AND GET TO THE NECK BRACE?
BERG, I'M TRYING
TO SPIN A YARN HERE.
JOHNNY'S INTO IT.
DO I STILL HAVE
VANILLA IN MY HAIR?
FINE. TELL YOUR STORY
IF IT'S MORE INTERESTING.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
SO TARA AND I... WE WERE
ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING WILD.
SHE'S FREE AND EXCITING
AND WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING.
Tara: AAH! DO THAT AGAIN!
Berg: THAT WASN'T ME.
THANK YOU, BUT WE DON'T
NEED TURN-DOWN SERVICE.
ASHLEY, THIS IS TARA.
TARA, THIS IS ASHLEY.
OOH. MAN!
IF I WERE INTO GIRLS,
I'D BE ALL OVER YOU.
IS SHE NOT GREAT OR WHAT?
OH, I'VE GOT TO RUN, BUT
THE BEAUTY OF A HEARSE...
I CAN ALWAYS USE
THE CAR POOL LANE.
YOU'RE ON PROBATION.
DON'T YOU THINK THAT THIS
IS A TAD BIT IRRESPONSIBLE?
NO, I DON'T.
ASH, I AM TIRED OF
BEING RESPONSIBLE.
AT LEAST WHEN I
WAS IRRESPONSIBLE,
I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
I'M HAPPY!
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
THAT YOU SAW ME HAPPY?
THE "BAYWATCH" MARATHON.
YEAH.
OKAY, MAYBE I JUST NEED
TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER.
LET'S DO IT TONIGHT.
BERG, I WAS JUST BEING POLITE.
THIS IS THE WAY TARA AND I
DO THINGS... SPONTANEOUS!
ACTUALLY, I HAVE A DATE
WITH NOMAR TONIGHT.
WE'LL DOUBLE DATE!
TARA'S A HUGE BASEBALL FAN.
SHE EVEN MET HIM ONCE.
REALLY? WELL,
NO, NOT OFFICIALLY.
SHE WAS ACTUALLY STREAKING
ACROSS THE FIELD AND SECURITY
TACKLED HER BEFORE SHE
COULD INTRODUCE HERSELF.
OH, AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF
ME WITH MY DAD AT THE AIRPORT.
HE HAD A LAYOVER IN TOWN.
YOU LOOK LIKE HIM.
SHARON, I'M REALLY GLAD
I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU
BETTER THEE LAST FEW DAYS.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO MAKE
FRIENDS WITH MY NEIGHBORS.
I WONDER WHY.
I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT WE'VE GOTTEN TO
KNOW EACH OTHER, TOO.
REALLY?
YES! I ADMIT WHEN JOHNNY
FIRST INVITED YOU TO STAY,
I WASN'T THRILLED.
BUT NOW, I'VE COME
TO SEE PAST YOUR...
YOUR...
I MEAN, THE OTHER
SIDE WHEN YOU'RE NOT...
HOW DO I SAY THIS?
YOU FOUND THE NOUGAT
UNDER MY NUTTY COATING.
I'D HAVE GONE WITH "BAMBOO
UNDER MY FINGERNAIL."
AND LOOK! I MADE YOU A
CARD FOR YOUR CHARITY 10K.
SEE, IT'S THE TORTOISE
AND THE HARE.
"DON'T BE A DOOFUS...
LET'S ALL FIGHT LUPUS."
HEY, IRENE, I GOT A CARD FOR YA.
"FOUR DAYS AGO, I
FIXED YOUR WALL,
YET EVERY DAY,
YOU COME TO CALL."
JOHNNY, KNOCK IT OFF.
OH, OH, I BET YOU TWO
WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE.
YES, IRENE, WE WOULD.
I'LL JUST BE IN THE
LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM.
PERFECT TIME TO TINKLE.
LOOK, SHARON, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
SHE COMES DOWN
HERE EVERY 10 MINUTES!
SHE HAS TO COME DOWN
AND CHECK ON THE CATS!
THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE BABIES!
ON MY BATHROBE!
Tell Irene to stop
comin' down here!
LOOK, I WILL NOT! I'VE
REALLY GOTTEN TO LIKE HER!
THE OLD SHARON WOULDN'T
HAVE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT!
LATELY, I LOOK AT YOU
WITH YOUR CHARITY WORK
AND YOUR PUTTIN' UP WITH PEOPLE,
AND I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
WELL, I AM A BETTER PERSON NOW.
WELL STOP IT!,
THAT'S NOT THE WAY
OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS.
I AM THE GOOD COP AND
YOU ARE THE BAD COP.
WHY CAN'T WE BE
GOOD COP, GOOD COP?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT... A
WORLD FULL OF GOOD COPS?!
FINE. FINE. WE'LL
BOTH BE GOOD COPS
BECAUSE I WILL
NOT BE THE BAD GUY.
JOHNNY, I JUST...
YOU GONNA BE LONG? I
COULD TAKE A SHOWER.
GET OUT!
WHAT?
LEAVE US IN PEACE.
I DON'T WANT TO
HURT YOUR FEELINGS,
BUT YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.
SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?
I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY,
BUT WE HAVE ONE MORE
TRAINING EXERCISE TO DO.
NOW, YOU TWO KNOW THE DRILL.
PETE, TAKE THE WINDOW
ABOVE THE DOOR,
MARTY, THE ONE TO
THE LEFT OF THAT.
THAT MEANS THE CRISPY FAMILY
LIVES IN THE ONE ABOVE THE DOOR.
CAPTAIN, ARE CRISPY
FAMILIES FUNNY?
NO, THEY ARE NOT.
OKAY...
ON THE COUNT OF THREE,
RUN TO YOUR HOSES.
1... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
SORRY, CAPTAIN.
GOMER NEEDS HELP.
HOSE SQUIRT WATER, FIRE GO AWAY.
ALL RIGHT... LET
ME USE THAT ONE.
NO!
MOVE!
WHAT'S GOING ON, DUNVILLE?!
Chuck: STOP FOOLIN' AROUND.
YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
NO WONDER EVERYBODY AT
THE FIRE HOUSE LAUGHS AT YOU.
FINE.
TAKE THAT HOSE. YOU
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.
Captain: OKAY, ON MY COUNT.
1... 2...
3! HEY!
AAAAAAHHHHHH!
WHOA!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
ALL RIGHT! GO! LET'S DO IT!
HEY, WHERE'S NOMAR?
THEY WENT INTO EXTRA INNINGS.
WHY ARE WE AT THE AIRPORT
AND WHERE HAVE
THE TWO OF YOU BEEN?
WE HOPPED A FENCE,
RAN ONTO THE RUNWAY,
AND LAID UNDERNEATH
A PLANE AS IT TOOK OFF.
YOU SEE, TARA KNOWS
EXACTLY HOW CLOSE WE CAN GET
WITHOUT ACTUALLY GETTING...
CAUGHT UP IN THE LANDING GEAR.
WELL, I... I CAN'T
TAKE THE CREDIT.
MY FRIEND BILL TAUGHT ME.
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
SO, IS THIS WHEREWE'RE
EATING DINNER?
I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I LOVE A GOOD $12 BAGEL.
NO, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
WAIT HERE. I'LL SURPRISE YOU.
YOU ALWAYS DO.
OKAY.
AW, ISN'T SHE GREAT?
SO...
SO CAREFREE, YOU
KNOW, SO ADVENTUROUS.
YOU'RE SICK OF HER.
NO, I'M SCARED OF HER.
SHE DRAGGED ME ONTO A RUNWAY.
I DON'T LIKE TO FLY.
I LIKE EVEN LESS
TO BE LANDED ON.
THIS IS SUCH A MESS.
YOU KNOW, I...
WHAT THE HELL WAS
I THINKING?! GOD!
OH, BERG, COME ON, IT
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
YEAH. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A
REALLY ROUGH STRETCH LATELY
AND YOU'RE JUST
REACHING OUT FOR SOMEONE
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING.
HEY... IF YOU THINK
ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE PERSON
YOU CAN COUNT ON FOR HAPPINESS.
YEAH.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
WHAT... NO!
I THOUGHT YOU... WERE
THE ONE I COULD RELY ON!
I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU!
YOU HAVE TO FEEL GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU MORON!
SHE MADE A PASS AT
ME, AND I SAID, "NO!"
SO, NOBODY'S GOT ANY IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE TODAY?
FINE. WELL, MAYBE
SOMEONE WILL REMEMBER
WHEN YOU'RE ALL
ON YOUR 5th MILE.
I WANT EVERYONE ON
THE TRACK IN 10 MINUTES.
UH, CAPTAIN...
WHAT... WHAT ABOUT ME?
YEAH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
RUN CAREFULLY.
YOU WERE SMART TO KEEP
YOUR MOUTH SHUT, DUNVILLE.
YOU'RE A REAL
GENIUS, CHEESE WAD.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
YOU'RE MY PROBLEM!
YOU HAD NO BUSINESS
MAKING A FOOL OUT OF ME!
OH, YEAH, YOU LOOKED SO
STUPID WATCHING ME BANG
FROM TREE TO TREE LIKE
GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE!
YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW HOW THEY
FEEL ABOUT WOMEN AROUND HERE?
I'M NEVER GONNA PROVE MYSELF
IF YOU'RE RUNNING INTERFERENCE!
I DON'T NEED ANYBODY
TO BE MY BIG BROTHER!
UNBELIEVABLE... YOU'RE
RUDE AND YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL.
FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN
FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES
BECAUSE I'M NOT WATCHING
YOUR BACK ANYMORE!
GOOD!
FINE!
STARTING NOW.
FINALLY!
I WOULD HAVE TOLD THAT
STORY, "SOME GIRL HURT MY NECK."
A LOT MORE CONCISE.
THE FLOWERS ARE NOT
FOR SHARON, RIGHT?
NO. NO, IRENE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
GIRL FROM THE MORGUE?
LAST TIME I SAW HER, SHE
WAS DRIVING OFF A CLIFF
IN A CONVERTIBLE
WITH HER BEST FRIEND.
I'M SORRY, MAN.
IF I COMFORT YOU, YOU
WON'T KISS ME, WILL YOU?
OOH, VISITOR! OH!
YOU!
YEAH.
IRENE, I FEEL REALLY BAD
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
AND I MADE YOU A CARD,
SO, HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO FORGIVE ME.
"I'M SORRY I KICKED YOU OUT.
IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO SHOUT.
"SO IF YOU CAN FORGIVE,
I'LL LET YOUR CATS LIVE
IN MY BATHTUB OR
MAYBE MY CLOSET."
NOW I FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT
CHAIRMAN MEOW DID IN YOUR SHOES.
WHAT DID HE DO IN MY SHOES?
GOODBYE!