Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 3, Episode 17 - Feast or Fireman - full transcript
Pete is finding his job as a cosmetic salesman unfulfilling and so he decides to become a fireman. He volunteers at the local station. On the first day he suffers the usual rookie stirring and is disappointed that he is confined to cleaning duties. Sharon volunteers at the hospital reading to the children. There is a food poisoning outbreak and all doctors are needed to do extra duty. Sharon is also affected and is admitted to the hospital. Johnny is then worried because wedding arrangements are getting behind. Berg is trying to do too much and sends a patient into shock because he was too tired to do the job properly.
HEY, BERG, CHECK OUT
WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL.
IT'S MY COMPANY BONUS.
PETE, I'M REALLY TIRED.
I'VE JUST COME OFF
A DOUBLE SHIFT, AND...
[INHALES] I JUST DON'T CARE.
WHAT THE HELL?!
SOMEWHERE THERE'S
A DANCING HIPPO
WITHOUT A COMPLETE COSTUME.
THIS IS THE THANKS
I GET FOR BEING
THE TOP MASCARA
SALESMAN AT EARTH GLOW?
IT'S PERFECT, ALL RIGHT?
THE WEATHERMAN
SAID THAT LATER TODAY
IT WOULD BE RAINING... MEN!
HEY, GUYS, I VOLUNTEERED TO
READ TO THE KIDS AT THE HOSPITAL,
SO CAN I BORROW YOUR
COMIC-BOOK COLLECTION?
[LAUGHS] [LAUGHS]
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
COME ON, SHAR,
YOU KNOW THOSE AREN'T
INSURED FOR TRAVEL.
OKAY, I'LL JUST LOOK INTO
THEIR SWEET, INNOCENT EYES
AND TELL THEM, "SORRY,
THERE ARE NO STORIES
FOR STORY TIME TODAY."
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
OH! OH! OH! I KNOW!
I'LL TELL THEM THE STORY
OF THE TWO SELFISH LOSERS
ON THE CHOO-CHOO TRAIN TO HELL!
YOU KNOW, WE ARE NOT
GOING TO HELL, OKAY?
I HEAL KIDS.
AND PETE? WELL, [LAUGHS]...
I AM NOT GOING TO HELL.
YOU GUYS ARE SO LUCKY, YOU KNOW?
YOU HELP PEOPLE.
I SELL STUPID MAKEUP TO
STUPID-MAKEUP WEARERS.
HEY, I WEAR MAKEUP.
YOU HELP PEOPLE.
I HELP UGLY PEOPLE.
HELLO!
YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN
A COUPLE OF MONTHS INTO
EVERY NEW JOB YOU GET.
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T ALL
HAVE FULFILLING WORK.
YOU KNOW, THE WORLD
NEEDS DRONES, TOO.
I AM NOT A DRONE!
I CAN HAVE FULFILLING WORK.
I'M GONNA GET A JOB
THAT'S MEANINGFUL
AND THAT HELPS SOCIETY.
YOU GO, PINK-UMBRELLA MAN!
HEY, BERG, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING BACK HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU JUST GOT
OFF OF A 12-HOUR SHIFT.
PEOPLE DIE 24
HOURS A DAY, ASHLEY.
THAT'S THE HELL I LIVE WITH.
TIME MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
SO, YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING
IT TO MAKE EVERYONE FORGET
YOUR DRUNKEN DISPLAY
AT THE BACHELOR AUCTION.
THAT WAS 127 HOURS
AGO. GET OVER IT.
HEY, PAGING DR. STOLI!
HELLO, GERM.
HEY, GUESS WHO I AM.
"HEY, DOES ANYONE WANT
TO BID ON THIS GREEN APPLE?"
[LAUGHS]
SO, HOW'D YOUR DATE GO
WITH THAT DUDE WHO BOUGHT
YOU FOR 100 BONES, MAN?
I LIKE DAVE AS A FRIEND.
DR. BERGEN, I SEE YOU
SIGNED UP FOR ANOTHER SHIFT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET
YOUR GREEN APPLE IN GEAR?
[LAUGHTER]
MAN, WHY ARE YOU
ALWAYS BAD-MOUTHING HER?
SHE'S FUNNY.
[LAUGHING]
HEY! THERE YOU ARE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST HAD A PHYSICAL.
SO I WAS WRONG.
YOU COULD PAY
SOMEONE TO TOUCH YOU.
OH, OH, OH!
ASHLEY, UM...
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
UGLY ON YOUR SHOULDERS.
WHAT WAS THE PHYSICAL FOR?
I'M FINALLY PUTTING
MY LIFE TOGETHER.
I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA PURSUE
THE THING I WANTED TO DO
EVER SINCE I WAS A KID...
THE THING THAT I DREAMED ABOUT!
BERG, ASHLEY... I'M
GONNA BE A FIREMAN.
PETE, THAT IS GREAT.
LISTEN, I WANT YOU
TO TELL ME MORE,
BUT [WHISTLES] I'M LATE
FOR ASTRONAUT SCHOOL.
PETE, YOU CAN'T
JUST BE A FIREMAN.
THERE'S A CIVIL-SERVICE EXAM,
AND IT REQUIRES TRAINING...
NOT TO MENTION AT
LEAST SOME COURAGE.
ASHLEY, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
I ALREADY PASSED MY PHYSICAL,
AND I TALKED TO A GUY
ABOUT VOLUNTEERING
AT THE FIRE STATION.
SO, NOW...
WE'RE ALL IN THE
FAMILY OF SAVING LIVES.
AND THERE'S THE GARAGE
WHERE WE KEEP THE FIRE ENGINES.
YES! YOU HAVE THE RED TRUCKS!
BECAUSE SOME TRUCKS
ARE YELLOW NOW.
I DON'T LIKE THE YELLOW ONES.
PETE!
MEET BRUNO, JIMMY, AND MICK.
GUYS, THIS IS PETE'S FIRST DAY.
[High-pitched voice] HEY-YA!
[Gruff voice] HEY.
AND THIS IS SCORCH.
OH, SCORCH! WHAT A GREAT NAME!
IT'S SO, UM... IRONIC.
YEAH, WE'RE ALL POETS.
UH... ARE YOU WEARING
PERFUME, SON?
OH, NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S FROM MY DAY
JOB. I WORK AT...
THE SAWMILL.
IT'S... IT'S DOWNWIND FROM
THE ESTéE LAUDER... MILL.
A WORD OF ADVICE...
THESE GUYS ARE AWAY
FROM THEIR WIVES A LOT.
WATCH YOUR BACK.
AND HERE'S WHERE WE
STORE OUR EQUIPMENT.
AND HERE'S YOUR VERY OWN PEG.
[GASPS]
IS THAT MY HELMET?
PRETTY EXCITING,
ISN'T IT? TRY IT ON, SON.
JIMMY, GET THE CAMERA.
THANK YOU.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[LAUGHTER]
[Laughing] THAT NEVER GETS OLD!
YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?
IT'S LIKE AN INITIATION. IT
MEANS I'M ONE OF YOU GUYS.
YES, YOU ARE.
LOOK, SIR, I'M JUST
SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
AND MAYBE SOMEDAY SOON,
I'LL BE SLIDING DOWN THAT POLE
AND RIDING ON THAT
TRUCK WITH YOU GUYS.
WELL...
YOU CAN SLIDE DOWN
THAT POLE RIGHT NOW.
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY.
MEN, THIS IS PETE'S FIRST
SLIDE INTO THE MOUTH OF FIRE,
HIS WELCOME TO THE RANKS
OF HEROES AND LEGENDS.
LET HER RIP, PETE.
Pete: YES, SIR, IT'S LIKE...
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
YES, SIR!!
WHO-O-O!
WHOO! YEAH!
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
COULD I DO IT AGAIN?
[LAUGHTER]
OH, IT'S GREAT. I LOVE
READING TO THE KIDS.
THEIR EYES ARE JUST
SO WIDE AND TRUSTING.
THAT'S THE DEMEROL.
VOLUNTEERING AT THE HOSPITAL
IS THE BEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.
I DON'T KNOW. MY LIFE
JUST SEEMS SO FULL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU DO IT, SHARON.
YOU SPEND EIGHT
HOURS AT ADMISSIONS,
YOU ORGANIZE ALL OF
THE HOSPITAL FUNDRAISERS,
THEN YOU READ TO THE
KIDS IN THE CHILDREN'S WARD,
AND YOU'RE PLANNING
YOUR OWN WEDDING.
[GASPS] OOH! THAT'S
COMING UP, ISN'T IT?
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF
YOUR WAY, DR. WALKER.
LET'S CLEAR SOME
SPACE FOR MISS HOTTIE.
EXCUSE ME, WASN'T I
MISS HOTTIE THIS MORNING?
[SIGHS] OH, BOY.
CATFIGHT OVER THE GERM.
GERM, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE WEARING A HAIRNET?
I AM.
IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO
PULL MY HAIR THROUGH IT.
HEY... I HOPE YOU WIN. RRR!
MORNING, LOU.
MORNING, DR. BOURBON...
I MEAN, BERGEN.
[LAUGHS] MY MISTAKE.
HEH HEH HEH. THAT'S FUNNY.
I JUST MOPPED OVER THERE,
SO WATCH YOUR 12 STEPS, HUH?
[Laughing] OH, THAT'S HILARIOUS!
YOU MISSED A SPOT.
BERG, MAN, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.
YOU REALLY GOT TO
PRESENT YOURSELF BETTER.
OH, YOU DON'T LIKE THIS? I
WAS GOING FOR THE GERM LOOK.
MAN, IT'S NOT A LOOK, ALL RIGHT?
GERM IS AN ATTITUDE.
BERG, YOU'RE EXHAUSTED.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME?
NO, I AM NOT GOING HOME
UNTIL I WIN BACK THE RESPECT
OF THE OTHER DOCTORS.
BERG, YOU CAN'T JUST EARN
BACK THEIR RESPECT OVERNIGHT.
YOU WERE TANKED. IT
COULD TAKE MONTHS.
I MEAN, EVEN THE GUYS IN
DETOX ARE MAKING FUN OF YOU.
Johnny: HEY, SHARON!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU FORGOT TO SEND THE
DEPOSIT FOR THE RECEPTION BAND,
SO THEY CANCELED.
BABY, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU,
BUT I HAVE A MEETING
IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, THE CATERER ALSO CALLED.
HE SAID IF WE DON'T
DECIDE ON SALMON TODAY,
WE'RE GONNA BE STUCK WITH SCROD.
SCROD'S A FUNNY WORD. [LAUGHS]
I'M PUNCHY.
HONEY, UM... I CAN'T
DO THIS ON MY OWN.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE
TO GO TO THIS MEETING...
[Laughing] SCROD!
[LAUGHING]
[INHALES]
I'M A MESS. I'M GOING HOME.
ATTENTION, EVERYONE!
STOP EATING!
SEVERAL DOCTORS
HAVE GOTTEN SICK,
AND WE'VE TRACED IT BACK
TO THE CREAMED CORN.
WHAT?
I HAD SOME OF THE CREAMED
CORN. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME?
YOU'LL NEVER EAT IT
AGAIN, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE
GONNA BE SHORT-HANDED,
SO I'M GONNA NEED
EVERY AVAILABLE DOCTOR
TO WORK FOR AT LEAST
THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
DR. PEEL, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
YOU GO HOME.
WHY? I DIDN'T EAT
THE CREAMED CORN.
FORGET IT!
YOU'VE ALREADY PULLED
TWO DOUBLE SHIFTS.
AND I'LL PULL TWO MORE.
IF NEED BE, I'LL WORK
FROM NOW UNTIL THURSDAY.
TODAY'S THURSDAY.
DAMN IT! I'M A DOCTOR,
NOT A CALENDAR!
YOU NEED ME.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES.
OKAY. YOU, DR. WALKER, TO E.R.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WHAT A BREAK!
DOCTORS EARN THEIR
REPUTATION IN CRISES. LET'S GO.
BERG, IS THIS SERIOUS?
AM I GONNA BE REALLY SICK?
I SURE HOPE SO, SWEETHEART.
OH, GOD! OH, I'M DYING.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
NOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SQUEEZE
INTO THAT WEDDING DRESS.
REALLY?
YAY! Oh!
ALL RIGHT, PATIENT HOTTIE,
LET'S GET YOU IN
THAT BACKLESS GOWN.
[Muffled] BERG! [SQUEALS]
DR. BERGEN, THE PATIENT
IN THE CORNER HAS...
CHEST PAINS.
I KNOW. HIS HEART IS FINE.
IT'S AN ANXIETY ATTACK.
I SANG HIM A LITTLE SONG
AND TOLD HIM HE MATTERS.
GOOD.
GOT ROOM?
THERE ARE PATIENTS JAMMED
UP AND DOWN THE HALLWAY.
I'M SO TIRED I CAN
BARELY SEE STRAIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KEEP GOING.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S LIKE I'M IN A ZONE.
EVERYTHING I'VE
LEARNED AS A DOCTOR
IS FINALLY KICKING IN.
IT'S ALL NATURAL, REFLEXIVE...
I..AM... A HEALING MACHINE.
CHESTER, I'M OPEN!
[SIGHS]
OKAY, [GRUNTS]
JUST TO CLARIFY...
WE DON'T GO ON
THOSE WALKS FOR ME.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, IT'S GOING GREAT.
I DID THE DISHES,
I MOPPED THE FLOOR,
AND THE LAUNDRY'S DONE.
GOOD JOB.
SIR, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO ASK YOU...
WHEN AM I GONNA DO
REAL FIREMEN STUFF?
BECAUSE SO FAR... MY
MOTHER WAS A FIREMAN.
WE'RE FIREFIGHTERS.
NO, YOU'RE A FIREFIGHTER.
I'M MR. BELVEDERE.
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS JUST ISN'T
WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.
I WANTED TO MAKE A
DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE.
NO. YOU SIGNED UP BECAUSE
YOU WANTED TO PUT
ON YOUR BIG BOOTS
AND RIDE ON THE TRUCK
AND WAVE AT ALL
THE PRETTY GIRLS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
YOU'RE JUST A VOLUNTEER.
THOSE MEN ALL EARNED THE RIGHT
TO LAY THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE,
BY DOING THE SAME DIRTY WORK
THAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.
SO IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, I
CAN GET ANOTHER VOLUNTEER
WHO'S SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER
AND DOESN'T BALL UP THE SOCKS!
IT KILLS THE ELASTIC.
[ALARM BELL RINGING]
COME ON, MEN!
OKAY, REMEMBER, GUYS,
WHEN YOU COME BACK,
DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE HAMPER.
AND DON'T EAT ANYTHING!
I'M MAKING SOMETHING!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? I
DON'T SEE THEM TAKING YOU.
COME ON, SCORCH!
[SIREN WAILING]
"AND THEN CURIOUS GEORGE
SHRUGGED AND SAID..."
[BELCHES] Oh!
"'I'M NOT CURIOUS
ANYMORE.'" THE END.
YAY! YAY! YAY!
BEN, IT'S YOUR TURN
TO PICK A STORY.
THANK YOU.
"GREEN EGGS AND HAM"... Oh!
HEY, HOW YOU FEELING?
OH, BETTER.
'CAUSE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT
THESE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS.
BABY, THIS IS NOT A GOOD
TIME. IT'S STORY TIME.
OH. WELL, I GOT A STORY. YOU
WANT TO HEAR A SCARY STORY?
YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS PRINCESS.
AND SHE WAS BETROTHED
TO THE MOST PATIENT PRINCE
OF THEM ALL.
THEY WERE TO HAVE THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL WEDDING
IN ALL THE REALM,
BUT THE PRINCESS FORGOT
TO SEND IN THE DEPOSIT
FOR THE TRAVELING MINSTREL,
SO THEY BOOKED A
BAR MITZVAH INSTEAD.
AHH!
BUT WHAT THE PRINCE DIDN'T
KNOW IS THAT WITHIN HIM
RESIDES THE MAGICAL
POWER OF FREE WILL.
AND WITH THIS POWER,
HE CAN MAKE DECISIONS
ON HIS VERY OWN!
THE PRINCE WAS ALSO VERY WISE.
NOW, HE KNEW IF THE PRINCESS
DIDN'T LIKE HIS DECISIONS,
SHE'D HAVE HIM BEHEADED.
LOOK, IF THE PRINCE
EVER WANTS TO BE KING,
HE'S GONNA HAVE TO GROW UP!
AS KING, HE HAD THE PRINCESS
LOCKED IN A TOWER
AND STRUCK MUTE.
SUCKS FOR HER.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
SUCKS. THIS STORY!
WELL, THE KING DIDN'T LISTEN
TO THE MUTE PRINCESS ANYMORE
AND HE LIVED HAPPILY
EVER AFTER. THE END!
YAY! YAY! YAY!
BROUGHT SOME COFFEE.
GOD, MY THUMB IS KILLING ME
FROM GIVING SO MANY INJECTIONS.
[Laughing] YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW HOW JUNKIES DO IT.
OKAY, PEOPLE, THE
CRISIS IS ALMOST OVER,
AND I WANT TO COMPLIMENT
EVERYONE ON THEIR PERFORMANCE.
DR. BERGEN, EXCEPTIONAL
WORK TONIGHT.
YOU SHOWED STRONG LEADERSHIP,
EXCELLENT DECISION-MAKING
AND MEDICAL SKILLS
UNDER EXTREME PRESSURE.
YOU SHOULD BE VERY
PROUD OF YOURSELF.
I FELT LIKE I OWED
IT TO THE HOSPITAL
AFTER WHAT I DID AT THE AUCTION.
NO, NO, NO...
ANCIENT HISTORY, DR. BERGEN.
YOU'RE A GOOD DOCTOR...
BAD DRUNK, [LAUGHS]
BUT A GOOD DOCTOR.
THANK YOU.
NOW, GO HOME.
JUST AFTER I FINISH
WITH THIS PATIENT.
IN THE FUTURE, ASHLEY,
YOUR CHILDREN WILL ASK
WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS DAY,
AND YOU'LL SAY, "YES...
HE WAS THAT GOOD."
HUH.
SO, IF I STUCK YOU WITH A PEN,
WOULD YOU WHIZ AROUND THE
ROOM AND WIND UP IN THE CORNER?
HOW YOU DOING, MR. COOPER?
MR. COOPER?
MR. COOPER.
OH, MY GOD! HE'S
GOING INTO SHOCK!
I PUT HIM ON A SALINE I.V.
IT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE.
HE IS A DIABETIC!
I DIDN'T CHECK HIS CHART!
WE HAVE TO D-50...
ROOM "F." LL TAKE HIM.
NO, NO, YOU WON'T.
I SHOULD HAVE
TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS
AND SENT YOU HOME EARLIER.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE.
[BELL DINGS]
AAH! AAH! MMM.
MMM!
ALL RIGHT!
THESE MAKE GREAT OVEN MITTS.
HEY! HEY, BUDDY. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WE JUST MOVED IN
ACROSS THE STREET.
ARE YOU A FIREMAN?
[CHUCKLES] AW, THAT'S CUTE.
[INHALES]
I'M A FIREFIGHTER.
I WANT TO PLAY IN THE TRUCK.
OH. I'M SURE YOU DO.
I'M SURE YOU JUST WANT
TO PUT ON YOUR BIG BOOTS
AND WAVE TO ALL
THE PRETTY GIRLS.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
THE OVEN'S ON FIRE.
WHAT?
AAH!!
GUESS WHAT?
I FOUGHT MY FIRST FIRE TODAY.
WHERE?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT, BERG.
THERE WAS SMOKE AND
FLAMES EVERYWHERE.
AND WITHOUT A THOUGHT
FOR MY OWN SAFETY,
I RESCUED A SMALL CHILD
FROM THE CLUTCHES
OF THE RED LADY!
THAT'S WHAT WE
FIREFIGHTERS CALL FIRE.
GOOD FOR YOU.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
I NEARLY KILLED A
GUY TODAY, PETE.
WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I WAS JUST SO TIRED AND...
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
WAIT. HOLD ON.
HELLO? YEAH, HOLD ON.
It's Dr. Peel.
HEY, DR. PEEL, LISTEN,
I'M REALLY... YEAH.
OH, GOOD!
O-OKAY.
I SEE.
I UNDERSTAND.
BYE.
WELL, WHAT DID SHE SAY?
GOOD NEWS...
THE PATIENT'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S NOT GOOD
NEWS. IT'S GREAT NEWS!
AND I'VE BEEN SUSPENDED
FROM THE HOSPITAL.
THAT'S NOT GOOD NEWS.
THAT'S JUST NOT GOOD NEWS.
NO, IT'S NOT.
CAN'T YOU APPEAL IT?
WHY? IT'S MY FAULT.
I SCREWED UP.
YOU MADE A MISTAKE. IT HAPPENS.
NO, IT CAN'T... HAPPEN, OKAY?
A DOCTOR ISN'T
SUPPOSED TO END LIVES.
A DOCTOR IS SUPPOSED
TO SAVE LIVES.
DO FIREFIGHTERS START FIRES?
THAT'S A LIE!
OH! THANK GOD IT'S YOU.
I THOUGHT IT WAS GERM.
NO, IT'S JUST YOUR PRINCE.
SORRY I STORMED
OUT ON YOU EARLIER.
OH, THAT'S OKAY. YOU
COULD HAVE DONE WORSE.
I THREW UP ON LITTLE JANIE.
I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT MAYBE
YOU'RE AVOIDING
THE WEDDING PLANS
'CAUSE YOU WANT TO
AVOID THE WEDDING.
NO!
I FEEL LIKE MAYBE YOU
DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE.
[Laughing] OH! OH, COME HERE.
LOOK, I'M SORRY I
DUMPED ALL THIS ON YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING
OUT OF MARRYING ME.
SO, WE'LL HAVE SCROD.
AND WE'LL GET YOUR COUSIN
ANDY AND HIS ACCORDION
TO PLAY AT THE WEDDING.
WHEN HE PUTS THE
CYMBALS BETWEEN HIS KNEES,
HE SOUNDS LIKE A FULL BAND.
OKAY. SO... LET'S
TALK MATCHBOOKS.
OH!
OKAY, THERE'S
"SHARON AND JOHNNY,"
"SHARON AMPERSAND JOHNNY."
IT'S MY FAVORITE...
"SHARON 'N JOHNNY."
[Laughing] OH!
I LOVE YOU.
SHARON?
HMM?
THERE'S A KID AT
THE FOOT OF THE BED.
BEN... Go back to bed.
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY 20th
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL.
IT'S MY COMPANY BONUS.
PETE, I'M REALLY TIRED.
I'VE JUST COME OFF
A DOUBLE SHIFT, AND...
[INHALES] I JUST DON'T CARE.
WHAT THE HELL?!
SOMEWHERE THERE'S
A DANCING HIPPO
WITHOUT A COMPLETE COSTUME.
THIS IS THE THANKS
I GET FOR BEING
THE TOP MASCARA
SALESMAN AT EARTH GLOW?
IT'S PERFECT, ALL RIGHT?
THE WEATHERMAN
SAID THAT LATER TODAY
IT WOULD BE RAINING... MEN!
HEY, GUYS, I VOLUNTEERED TO
READ TO THE KIDS AT THE HOSPITAL,
SO CAN I BORROW YOUR
COMIC-BOOK COLLECTION?
[LAUGHS] [LAUGHS]
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
COME ON, SHAR,
YOU KNOW THOSE AREN'T
INSURED FOR TRAVEL.
OKAY, I'LL JUST LOOK INTO
THEIR SWEET, INNOCENT EYES
AND TELL THEM, "SORRY,
THERE ARE NO STORIES
FOR STORY TIME TODAY."
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
OH! OH! OH! I KNOW!
I'LL TELL THEM THE STORY
OF THE TWO SELFISH LOSERS
ON THE CHOO-CHOO TRAIN TO HELL!
YOU KNOW, WE ARE NOT
GOING TO HELL, OKAY?
I HEAL KIDS.
AND PETE? WELL, [LAUGHS]...
I AM NOT GOING TO HELL.
YOU GUYS ARE SO LUCKY, YOU KNOW?
YOU HELP PEOPLE.
I SELL STUPID MAKEUP TO
STUPID-MAKEUP WEARERS.
HEY, I WEAR MAKEUP.
YOU HELP PEOPLE.
I HELP UGLY PEOPLE.
HELLO!
YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN
A COUPLE OF MONTHS INTO
EVERY NEW JOB YOU GET.
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T ALL
HAVE FULFILLING WORK.
YOU KNOW, THE WORLD
NEEDS DRONES, TOO.
I AM NOT A DRONE!
I CAN HAVE FULFILLING WORK.
I'M GONNA GET A JOB
THAT'S MEANINGFUL
AND THAT HELPS SOCIETY.
YOU GO, PINK-UMBRELLA MAN!
HEY, BERG, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING BACK HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU JUST GOT
OFF OF A 12-HOUR SHIFT.
PEOPLE DIE 24
HOURS A DAY, ASHLEY.
THAT'S THE HELL I LIVE WITH.
TIME MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
SO, YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING
IT TO MAKE EVERYONE FORGET
YOUR DRUNKEN DISPLAY
AT THE BACHELOR AUCTION.
THAT WAS 127 HOURS
AGO. GET OVER IT.
HEY, PAGING DR. STOLI!
HELLO, GERM.
HEY, GUESS WHO I AM.
"HEY, DOES ANYONE WANT
TO BID ON THIS GREEN APPLE?"
[LAUGHS]
SO, HOW'D YOUR DATE GO
WITH THAT DUDE WHO BOUGHT
YOU FOR 100 BONES, MAN?
I LIKE DAVE AS A FRIEND.
DR. BERGEN, I SEE YOU
SIGNED UP FOR ANOTHER SHIFT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET
YOUR GREEN APPLE IN GEAR?
[LAUGHTER]
MAN, WHY ARE YOU
ALWAYS BAD-MOUTHING HER?
SHE'S FUNNY.
[LAUGHING]
HEY! THERE YOU ARE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST HAD A PHYSICAL.
SO I WAS WRONG.
YOU COULD PAY
SOMEONE TO TOUCH YOU.
OH, OH, OH!
ASHLEY, UM...
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
UGLY ON YOUR SHOULDERS.
WHAT WAS THE PHYSICAL FOR?
I'M FINALLY PUTTING
MY LIFE TOGETHER.
I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA PURSUE
THE THING I WANTED TO DO
EVER SINCE I WAS A KID...
THE THING THAT I DREAMED ABOUT!
BERG, ASHLEY... I'M
GONNA BE A FIREMAN.
PETE, THAT IS GREAT.
LISTEN, I WANT YOU
TO TELL ME MORE,
BUT [WHISTLES] I'M LATE
FOR ASTRONAUT SCHOOL.
PETE, YOU CAN'T
JUST BE A FIREMAN.
THERE'S A CIVIL-SERVICE EXAM,
AND IT REQUIRES TRAINING...
NOT TO MENTION AT
LEAST SOME COURAGE.
ASHLEY, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
I ALREADY PASSED MY PHYSICAL,
AND I TALKED TO A GUY
ABOUT VOLUNTEERING
AT THE FIRE STATION.
SO, NOW...
WE'RE ALL IN THE
FAMILY OF SAVING LIVES.
AND THERE'S THE GARAGE
WHERE WE KEEP THE FIRE ENGINES.
YES! YOU HAVE THE RED TRUCKS!
BECAUSE SOME TRUCKS
ARE YELLOW NOW.
I DON'T LIKE THE YELLOW ONES.
PETE!
MEET BRUNO, JIMMY, AND MICK.
GUYS, THIS IS PETE'S FIRST DAY.
[High-pitched voice] HEY-YA!
[Gruff voice] HEY.
AND THIS IS SCORCH.
OH, SCORCH! WHAT A GREAT NAME!
IT'S SO, UM... IRONIC.
YEAH, WE'RE ALL POETS.
UH... ARE YOU WEARING
PERFUME, SON?
OH, NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S FROM MY DAY
JOB. I WORK AT...
THE SAWMILL.
IT'S... IT'S DOWNWIND FROM
THE ESTéE LAUDER... MILL.
A WORD OF ADVICE...
THESE GUYS ARE AWAY
FROM THEIR WIVES A LOT.
WATCH YOUR BACK.
AND HERE'S WHERE WE
STORE OUR EQUIPMENT.
AND HERE'S YOUR VERY OWN PEG.
[GASPS]
IS THAT MY HELMET?
PRETTY EXCITING,
ISN'T IT? TRY IT ON, SON.
JIMMY, GET THE CAMERA.
THANK YOU.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[LAUGHTER]
[Laughing] THAT NEVER GETS OLD!
YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?
IT'S LIKE AN INITIATION. IT
MEANS I'M ONE OF YOU GUYS.
YES, YOU ARE.
LOOK, SIR, I'M JUST
SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
AND MAYBE SOMEDAY SOON,
I'LL BE SLIDING DOWN THAT POLE
AND RIDING ON THAT
TRUCK WITH YOU GUYS.
WELL...
YOU CAN SLIDE DOWN
THAT POLE RIGHT NOW.
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY.
MEN, THIS IS PETE'S FIRST
SLIDE INTO THE MOUTH OF FIRE,
HIS WELCOME TO THE RANKS
OF HEROES AND LEGENDS.
LET HER RIP, PETE.
Pete: YES, SIR, IT'S LIKE...
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
YES, SIR!!
WHO-O-O!
WHOO! YEAH!
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
COULD I DO IT AGAIN?
[LAUGHTER]
OH, IT'S GREAT. I LOVE
READING TO THE KIDS.
THEIR EYES ARE JUST
SO WIDE AND TRUSTING.
THAT'S THE DEMEROL.
VOLUNTEERING AT THE HOSPITAL
IS THE BEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.
I DON'T KNOW. MY LIFE
JUST SEEMS SO FULL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU DO IT, SHARON.
YOU SPEND EIGHT
HOURS AT ADMISSIONS,
YOU ORGANIZE ALL OF
THE HOSPITAL FUNDRAISERS,
THEN YOU READ TO THE
KIDS IN THE CHILDREN'S WARD,
AND YOU'RE PLANNING
YOUR OWN WEDDING.
[GASPS] OOH! THAT'S
COMING UP, ISN'T IT?
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF
YOUR WAY, DR. WALKER.
LET'S CLEAR SOME
SPACE FOR MISS HOTTIE.
EXCUSE ME, WASN'T I
MISS HOTTIE THIS MORNING?
[SIGHS] OH, BOY.
CATFIGHT OVER THE GERM.
GERM, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE WEARING A HAIRNET?
I AM.
IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO
PULL MY HAIR THROUGH IT.
HEY... I HOPE YOU WIN. RRR!
MORNING, LOU.
MORNING, DR. BOURBON...
I MEAN, BERGEN.
[LAUGHS] MY MISTAKE.
HEH HEH HEH. THAT'S FUNNY.
I JUST MOPPED OVER THERE,
SO WATCH YOUR 12 STEPS, HUH?
[Laughing] OH, THAT'S HILARIOUS!
YOU MISSED A SPOT.
BERG, MAN, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.
YOU REALLY GOT TO
PRESENT YOURSELF BETTER.
OH, YOU DON'T LIKE THIS? I
WAS GOING FOR THE GERM LOOK.
MAN, IT'S NOT A LOOK, ALL RIGHT?
GERM IS AN ATTITUDE.
BERG, YOU'RE EXHAUSTED.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME?
NO, I AM NOT GOING HOME
UNTIL I WIN BACK THE RESPECT
OF THE OTHER DOCTORS.
BERG, YOU CAN'T JUST EARN
BACK THEIR RESPECT OVERNIGHT.
YOU WERE TANKED. IT
COULD TAKE MONTHS.
I MEAN, EVEN THE GUYS IN
DETOX ARE MAKING FUN OF YOU.
Johnny: HEY, SHARON!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU FORGOT TO SEND THE
DEPOSIT FOR THE RECEPTION BAND,
SO THEY CANCELED.
BABY, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU,
BUT I HAVE A MEETING
IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, THE CATERER ALSO CALLED.
HE SAID IF WE DON'T
DECIDE ON SALMON TODAY,
WE'RE GONNA BE STUCK WITH SCROD.
SCROD'S A FUNNY WORD. [LAUGHS]
I'M PUNCHY.
HONEY, UM... I CAN'T
DO THIS ON MY OWN.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE
TO GO TO THIS MEETING...
[Laughing] SCROD!
[LAUGHING]
[INHALES]
I'M A MESS. I'M GOING HOME.
ATTENTION, EVERYONE!
STOP EATING!
SEVERAL DOCTORS
HAVE GOTTEN SICK,
AND WE'VE TRACED IT BACK
TO THE CREAMED CORN.
WHAT?
I HAD SOME OF THE CREAMED
CORN. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME?
YOU'LL NEVER EAT IT
AGAIN, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE
GONNA BE SHORT-HANDED,
SO I'M GONNA NEED
EVERY AVAILABLE DOCTOR
TO WORK FOR AT LEAST
THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
DR. PEEL, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
YOU GO HOME.
WHY? I DIDN'T EAT
THE CREAMED CORN.
FORGET IT!
YOU'VE ALREADY PULLED
TWO DOUBLE SHIFTS.
AND I'LL PULL TWO MORE.
IF NEED BE, I'LL WORK
FROM NOW UNTIL THURSDAY.
TODAY'S THURSDAY.
DAMN IT! I'M A DOCTOR,
NOT A CALENDAR!
YOU NEED ME.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES.
OKAY. YOU, DR. WALKER, TO E.R.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WHAT A BREAK!
DOCTORS EARN THEIR
REPUTATION IN CRISES. LET'S GO.
BERG, IS THIS SERIOUS?
AM I GONNA BE REALLY SICK?
I SURE HOPE SO, SWEETHEART.
OH, GOD! OH, I'M DYING.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
NOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SQUEEZE
INTO THAT WEDDING DRESS.
REALLY?
YAY! Oh!
ALL RIGHT, PATIENT HOTTIE,
LET'S GET YOU IN
THAT BACKLESS GOWN.
[Muffled] BERG! [SQUEALS]
DR. BERGEN, THE PATIENT
IN THE CORNER HAS...
CHEST PAINS.
I KNOW. HIS HEART IS FINE.
IT'S AN ANXIETY ATTACK.
I SANG HIM A LITTLE SONG
AND TOLD HIM HE MATTERS.
GOOD.
GOT ROOM?
THERE ARE PATIENTS JAMMED
UP AND DOWN THE HALLWAY.
I'M SO TIRED I CAN
BARELY SEE STRAIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KEEP GOING.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S LIKE I'M IN A ZONE.
EVERYTHING I'VE
LEARNED AS A DOCTOR
IS FINALLY KICKING IN.
IT'S ALL NATURAL, REFLEXIVE...
I..AM... A HEALING MACHINE.
CHESTER, I'M OPEN!
[SIGHS]
OKAY, [GRUNTS]
JUST TO CLARIFY...
WE DON'T GO ON
THOSE WALKS FOR ME.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, IT'S GOING GREAT.
I DID THE DISHES,
I MOPPED THE FLOOR,
AND THE LAUNDRY'S DONE.
GOOD JOB.
SIR, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO ASK YOU...
WHEN AM I GONNA DO
REAL FIREMEN STUFF?
BECAUSE SO FAR... MY
MOTHER WAS A FIREMAN.
WE'RE FIREFIGHTERS.
NO, YOU'RE A FIREFIGHTER.
I'M MR. BELVEDERE.
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS JUST ISN'T
WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.
I WANTED TO MAKE A
DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE.
NO. YOU SIGNED UP BECAUSE
YOU WANTED TO PUT
ON YOUR BIG BOOTS
AND RIDE ON THE TRUCK
AND WAVE AT ALL
THE PRETTY GIRLS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
YOU'RE JUST A VOLUNTEER.
THOSE MEN ALL EARNED THE RIGHT
TO LAY THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE,
BY DOING THE SAME DIRTY WORK
THAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.
SO IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, I
CAN GET ANOTHER VOLUNTEER
WHO'S SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER
AND DOESN'T BALL UP THE SOCKS!
IT KILLS THE ELASTIC.
[ALARM BELL RINGING]
COME ON, MEN!
OKAY, REMEMBER, GUYS,
WHEN YOU COME BACK,
DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE HAMPER.
AND DON'T EAT ANYTHING!
I'M MAKING SOMETHING!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? I
DON'T SEE THEM TAKING YOU.
COME ON, SCORCH!
[SIREN WAILING]
"AND THEN CURIOUS GEORGE
SHRUGGED AND SAID..."
[BELCHES] Oh!
"'I'M NOT CURIOUS
ANYMORE.'" THE END.
YAY! YAY! YAY!
BEN, IT'S YOUR TURN
TO PICK A STORY.
THANK YOU.
"GREEN EGGS AND HAM"... Oh!
HEY, HOW YOU FEELING?
OH, BETTER.
'CAUSE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT
THESE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS.
BABY, THIS IS NOT A GOOD
TIME. IT'S STORY TIME.
OH. WELL, I GOT A STORY. YOU
WANT TO HEAR A SCARY STORY?
YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS PRINCESS.
AND SHE WAS BETROTHED
TO THE MOST PATIENT PRINCE
OF THEM ALL.
THEY WERE TO HAVE THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL WEDDING
IN ALL THE REALM,
BUT THE PRINCESS FORGOT
TO SEND IN THE DEPOSIT
FOR THE TRAVELING MINSTREL,
SO THEY BOOKED A
BAR MITZVAH INSTEAD.
AHH!
BUT WHAT THE PRINCE DIDN'T
KNOW IS THAT WITHIN HIM
RESIDES THE MAGICAL
POWER OF FREE WILL.
AND WITH THIS POWER,
HE CAN MAKE DECISIONS
ON HIS VERY OWN!
THE PRINCE WAS ALSO VERY WISE.
NOW, HE KNEW IF THE PRINCESS
DIDN'T LIKE HIS DECISIONS,
SHE'D HAVE HIM BEHEADED.
LOOK, IF THE PRINCE
EVER WANTS TO BE KING,
HE'S GONNA HAVE TO GROW UP!
AS KING, HE HAD THE PRINCESS
LOCKED IN A TOWER
AND STRUCK MUTE.
SUCKS FOR HER.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
SUCKS. THIS STORY!
WELL, THE KING DIDN'T LISTEN
TO THE MUTE PRINCESS ANYMORE
AND HE LIVED HAPPILY
EVER AFTER. THE END!
YAY! YAY! YAY!
BROUGHT SOME COFFEE.
GOD, MY THUMB IS KILLING ME
FROM GIVING SO MANY INJECTIONS.
[Laughing] YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW HOW JUNKIES DO IT.
OKAY, PEOPLE, THE
CRISIS IS ALMOST OVER,
AND I WANT TO COMPLIMENT
EVERYONE ON THEIR PERFORMANCE.
DR. BERGEN, EXCEPTIONAL
WORK TONIGHT.
YOU SHOWED STRONG LEADERSHIP,
EXCELLENT DECISION-MAKING
AND MEDICAL SKILLS
UNDER EXTREME PRESSURE.
YOU SHOULD BE VERY
PROUD OF YOURSELF.
I FELT LIKE I OWED
IT TO THE HOSPITAL
AFTER WHAT I DID AT THE AUCTION.
NO, NO, NO...
ANCIENT HISTORY, DR. BERGEN.
YOU'RE A GOOD DOCTOR...
BAD DRUNK, [LAUGHS]
BUT A GOOD DOCTOR.
THANK YOU.
NOW, GO HOME.
JUST AFTER I FINISH
WITH THIS PATIENT.
IN THE FUTURE, ASHLEY,
YOUR CHILDREN WILL ASK
WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS DAY,
AND YOU'LL SAY, "YES...
HE WAS THAT GOOD."
HUH.
SO, IF I STUCK YOU WITH A PEN,
WOULD YOU WHIZ AROUND THE
ROOM AND WIND UP IN THE CORNER?
HOW YOU DOING, MR. COOPER?
MR. COOPER?
MR. COOPER.
OH, MY GOD! HE'S
GOING INTO SHOCK!
I PUT HIM ON A SALINE I.V.
IT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE.
HE IS A DIABETIC!
I DIDN'T CHECK HIS CHART!
WE HAVE TO D-50...
ROOM "F." LL TAKE HIM.
NO, NO, YOU WON'T.
I SHOULD HAVE
TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS
AND SENT YOU HOME EARLIER.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE.
[BELL DINGS]
AAH! AAH! MMM.
MMM!
ALL RIGHT!
THESE MAKE GREAT OVEN MITTS.
HEY! HEY, BUDDY. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WE JUST MOVED IN
ACROSS THE STREET.
ARE YOU A FIREMAN?
[CHUCKLES] AW, THAT'S CUTE.
[INHALES]
I'M A FIREFIGHTER.
I WANT TO PLAY IN THE TRUCK.
OH. I'M SURE YOU DO.
I'M SURE YOU JUST WANT
TO PUT ON YOUR BIG BOOTS
AND WAVE TO ALL
THE PRETTY GIRLS.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
THE OVEN'S ON FIRE.
WHAT?
AAH!!
GUESS WHAT?
I FOUGHT MY FIRST FIRE TODAY.
WHERE?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT, BERG.
THERE WAS SMOKE AND
FLAMES EVERYWHERE.
AND WITHOUT A THOUGHT
FOR MY OWN SAFETY,
I RESCUED A SMALL CHILD
FROM THE CLUTCHES
OF THE RED LADY!
THAT'S WHAT WE
FIREFIGHTERS CALL FIRE.
GOOD FOR YOU.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
I NEARLY KILLED A
GUY TODAY, PETE.
WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I WAS JUST SO TIRED AND...
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
WAIT. HOLD ON.
HELLO? YEAH, HOLD ON.
It's Dr. Peel.
HEY, DR. PEEL, LISTEN,
I'M REALLY... YEAH.
OH, GOOD!
O-OKAY.
I SEE.
I UNDERSTAND.
BYE.
WELL, WHAT DID SHE SAY?
GOOD NEWS...
THE PATIENT'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S NOT GOOD
NEWS. IT'S GREAT NEWS!
AND I'VE BEEN SUSPENDED
FROM THE HOSPITAL.
THAT'S NOT GOOD NEWS.
THAT'S JUST NOT GOOD NEWS.
NO, IT'S NOT.
CAN'T YOU APPEAL IT?
WHY? IT'S MY FAULT.
I SCREWED UP.
YOU MADE A MISTAKE. IT HAPPENS.
NO, IT CAN'T... HAPPEN, OKAY?
A DOCTOR ISN'T
SUPPOSED TO END LIVES.
A DOCTOR IS SUPPOSED
TO SAVE LIVES.
DO FIREFIGHTERS START FIRES?
THAT'S A LIE!
OH! THANK GOD IT'S YOU.
I THOUGHT IT WAS GERM.
NO, IT'S JUST YOUR PRINCE.
SORRY I STORMED
OUT ON YOU EARLIER.
OH, THAT'S OKAY. YOU
COULD HAVE DONE WORSE.
I THREW UP ON LITTLE JANIE.
I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT MAYBE
YOU'RE AVOIDING
THE WEDDING PLANS
'CAUSE YOU WANT TO
AVOID THE WEDDING.
NO!
I FEEL LIKE MAYBE YOU
DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE.
[Laughing] OH! OH, COME HERE.
LOOK, I'M SORRY I
DUMPED ALL THIS ON YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING
OUT OF MARRYING ME.
SO, WE'LL HAVE SCROD.
AND WE'LL GET YOUR COUSIN
ANDY AND HIS ACCORDION
TO PLAY AT THE WEDDING.
WHEN HE PUTS THE
CYMBALS BETWEEN HIS KNEES,
HE SOUNDS LIKE A FULL BAND.
OKAY. SO... LET'S
TALK MATCHBOOKS.
OH!
OKAY, THERE'S
"SHARON AND JOHNNY,"
"SHARON AMPERSAND JOHNNY."
IT'S MY FAVORITE...
"SHARON 'N JOHNNY."
[Laughing] OH!
I LOVE YOU.
SHARON?
HMM?
THERE'S A KID AT
THE FOOT OF THE BED.
BEN... Go back to bed.
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