Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 2, Episode 5 - Two Guys, a Girl and an Elective - full transcript
Sharon and Johnny are going well but Sharon would like him to be a professional worker and tries to change him. Pete is having trouble choosing an elective for his course. Berg interferes and puts Pete down to do sports broadcasting. His first job is broadcasting a chess match. However, Pete's sexist comment in a women's basketball match finishes this career. Pete goes for a job interview that leaves him doubting his commitment about whether he wants to be an architect.
[TV PLAYING]
THIS GAME SUCKS.
WHERE'S THE REMOTE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?
I THINK SHARON'S SITTING ON IT.
NO, I'M NOT.
WELL, ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH. I THINK I'D FEEL IT.
SHARON, I LEFT IT RIGHT
WHERE YOU'RE SITTING.
COME ON, GET UP.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
SEE?
LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE UP,
COULD YOU GET US A
COUPLE MORE BEERS?
LOOKING FOR THIS?
YEAH. THANKS.
CAN I GET YOU A TALL
COOL GLASS OF LEMONADE?
YEAH. THAT'D BE NICE.
COMING RIGHT UP.
SHARON. GOING
AFTER THE REPAIRMAN.
CHICK-A-BWOW.
DID YOU EVER STOP AND AND THINK
THAT JOHNNY JUST MIGHT BE
AN EMOTIONALLY SCARRED
WORKING-CLASS HERO
WHOSE GENIUS IS SIMPLY UNTAPPED?
YOU KNOW, SHARON, I AM SO SORRY
THAT I GOT YOU GOOD WILL
HUNTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
PETE, CAN I GET A
LEMONADE, PLEASE?
SHARON, I'M WORKING HERE.
HENCE MY CRAZY IDEA
TO ORDER FROM YOU.
I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
WITH MY CLASS
SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW.
I WOULD'VE GONE
OVER IT LAST NIGHT,
BUT I WAS A LITTLE BUSY
PREPARING FOR MY INTERVIEW
WITH CONWAY AND ASSOCIATES.
IT'S JUST THE BIGGEST
ARCHITECTURE FIRM IN BOSTON, OK?
AND IF I GET THIS INTERNSHIP,
I'M GONNA BE SET
FOR LIFE. SET FOR LIFE!
BUT I SUPPOSE...
I SUPPOSE I CAN PUT
EVERYTHING ON HOLD
AND GET YOU YOUR LEMONADE!
OK.
OK.
I'LL GET THE LEMONADE.
GOD, ICE THAT VEIN IN THE
MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD.
I JUST STARTED MY
PSYCH ROTATION.
GREAT.
AND, YOU KNOW, I THINK
I FOUND MY CALLING...
EASING THE WOES OF
THE PETES OF THE WORLD.
WELL, ON BEHALF OF
THE PETES OF THE WORLD,
GO AWAY.
PETE, COME ON, WHAT'S WRONG?
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
LET ME GRADUATE
UNLESS I TAKE AN ELECTIVE.
WHAT KIND OF POLICE
STATE ARE WE LIVING IN?
BERG, LOOK, IT'S MY
LAST YEAR, ALL RIGHT?
I NEED TO FOCUS.
I DON'T NEED A
DISTRACTION RIGHT NOW.
A DISTRACTION IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE TOO FOCUSED, OK?
YOU'VE BEEN EATING AND
SLEEPING ARCHITECTURE
FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS.
YOU'RE STRESSED
OUT OVER A CAREER
THAT YOU HAVEN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.
YOU KNOW, I THINK
THAT A NICE, EASY ELECTIVE
WOULD BE A GOOD THING.
IT'LL LOOSEN YOU UP.
OK! OK!
I WISH I HAD MY LAST SEMESTER
TO DO ALL OVER AGAIN.
BECAUSE ONCE YOU'RE
OUT IN THE REAL WORLD,
EVERY DAY IS ALL...
YECCH AND... AND... BLECCH.
YOU GOT THAT LEMONADE?
Sharon: OH, YEAH. HERE YOU GO.
Berg: OK. RIGHT HERE...
THE PERFECT ELECTIVE.
INTERMEDIATE BOWLING.
BOWLING?
THAT'S A COURSE?
I'VE BEEN BOWLING EVERY WEDNESDAY
NIGHT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.
WHERE'S MY Ph.D.?
JOHN, IT'S NOT JUST BOWLING.
IT'S BOWLING... APPRECIATION.
WHAT I APPRECIATE ABOUT BOWLING
IS IT COSTS ME 15 BUCKS.
IT'S GONNA COST
YOU CLOWNS 8 GRAND.
GO FIGURE.
[LAUGHING]
I GOTTA TRACK DOWN A
PART. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
AND THANKS FOR THE LEMONADE.
SURE.
HA HA HA.
YEAH, YEAH. IF HE'S SO SMART,
WHY IS IT TAKING HIM 4
DAYS TO FIX A JUKEBOX?
EVERY NIGHT, AFTER HE LEAVES,
I BREAK A DIFFERENT PART.
OH! MAN, I GOTTA
XEROX MY BLUEPRINTS,
I GOTTA PICK UP MY
SUIT FROM THE CLEANERS,
AND, SOMEHOW, I HAVE
TO DROP THESE CARDS OFF
TO THE REGISTRAR'S
OFFICE BY 5:00.
HEY, IF YOU WANT,
I'LL DROP BY THE REGISTRAR'S
OFFICE ON THE WAY HOME
AND DROP THOSE OFF FOR YOU.
YOU RULE.
I MOST CERTAINLY DO.
HEY, BERG.
HEY.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
FUNNIEST THING...
I WENT IN TO MY
METALLURGY CLASS TODAY,
AND IT TURNS OUT I'M NOT
ENROLLED IN METALLURGY.
APPARENTLY, SOMEONE ENROLLED ME
IN SPORTS BROADCASTING.
HMM...
AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
ANGRY.
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW TELL ME, HOW ARE
WE GONNA WORK THROUGH
THESE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, PETE?
WELL, FIRST, I'M
GONNA LUNGE AT YOU
AND BEAT YOU UNCONSCIOUS
WITH MY SPORTS
BROADCASTING BOOK.
COME ON.
OH, NO. I CAN DO IT. IT'S
A REALLY HEAVY BOOK.
BERG, I TRIED TO SWITCH OUT,
BUT ALL THE OTHER
ELECTIVES WERE FULL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE
GOTTEN THERE EARLY,
LIKE I DID.
BERG, I GOTTA GO
TO THIS INTERVIEW.
THEN I GOTTA RUSH OVER AND
ANNOUNCE THIS STUPID GAME
FOR THIS STUPID COURSE THAT
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TAKING.
AND IF I DON'T
GO, I'M GONNA FAIL!
THIS IS THE REST OF MY
LIFE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
EXACTLY.
THIS IS YOUR LAST YEAR
OF GRAD SCHOOL. OK?
YOUR LAST YEAR TO
DO SOMETHING... FUN.
WHOO-HOO!
YOUR LAST YEAR BEFORE
YECCH AND BLECCH.
THIS IS MY LAST YEAR.
OH, MY GOD. BERG,
IT'S MY LAST YEAR.
AND YOU WANTED TO
STRIKE ME WITH A BOOK.
BUT SPORTS BROADCASTING?
COME ON. YOU KNOW SPORTS
BETTER THAN ANYONE. TRUE.
HOW MANY TIMES WATCHING
FOOTBALL AT O'MALLEY'S
HAVE PEOPLE THROWN
PEANUTS AT YOUR HEAD
AND TOLD YOU TO SIT
DOWN AND SHUT UP?
A LOT.
NOW YOU GET COLLEGE
CREDIT FOR THAT.
IT'LL BE GREAT.
THE BIG CROWD, THE STADIUM,
THE FANS, THE
ACTION ON THE FIELD.
AND TELL ME...
WHO, WHO IS GONNA BRING THAT FUN
INTO EVERYONE'S LIVING ROOMS?
PETE DUNVILLE?
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GO TO MY INTERVIEW.
I WANT YOU TO MEET
ME AT THE GAME.
AND IF I DON'T HAVE ANY FUN,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
KILL YOU AFTERWARDS.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I MUST SAY, MR. DUNVILLE,
YOUR PORTFOLIO
IS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.
I FOUND THIS ON THE BUS.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE
JOKE TO BREAK...
BREAK THE TENSION.
SO, WHAT INSPIRED YOU
TO BE AN ARCHITECT?
OH, MY DAD. MY DAD MOSTLY.
WAS HE AN ARCHITECT?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE WAS A FOREMAN ON
CONSTRUCTION SITES.
EVER SINCE I WAS,
LIKE, 8 YEARS OLD,
HE ALWAYS HAD THESE
BIG DREAMS FOR ME.
AND, YOU KNOW,
SO... HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THE THING THAT
STRIKES ME, MR. DUNVILLE,
IS IN THE PAST 25 MINUTES,
YOU'VE ANSWERED
ALL OF OUR QUESTIONS
IN A CLEAR AND COMPETENT MANNER.
BUT THE ONE THING I
HAVEN'T HEARD YOU SAY IS...
WHY YOU LOVE ARCHITECTURE.
WHY I LOVE ARCHITECTURE.
UM...
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE THING IS, IS...
WELL, I MEAN, IT'S BECAUSE...
WELL, WITHOUT ARCHITECTURE,
WE'D ALL BE OUTSIDE.
THANK YOU, MR. DUNVILLE.
WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK TOMORROW
TO MEET OUR SENIOR PARTNERS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
DID YOU GET THAT
THING WITH THE BUS?
THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE
FOR WMFO COLLEGE RADIO,
AND WE'VE GOT A REAL
CLASH OF THE TITANS TONIGHT.
THE FIRST ROUND
OF THE MONDAY NIGHT
CHESS CLUB TOURNAMENT
IS JUST SECONDS AWAY
AFTER THESE WORDS
FROM FRANK'S AUTO REPAIR.
REMEMBER, AT FRANK'S...
YOU WON'T GET ROOKED.
PETE, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YOU GOT THE CROWD IN A FRENZY.
IT'LL BE GREAT... YOU SAY.
IT'LL BE GREAT!
THE CROWD, THE STADIUM,
THE ACTION ON THE FIELD!
THIS GAME DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A BALL.
SO... SO... I... I TAKE IT THE
INTERVIEW WENT POORLY.
NO, NO.
THE INTERVIEW WENT GREAT.
I'M GOING BACK TO MEET
THE SENIOR PARTNERS.
HEY. HAVE I TOLD YOU
THAT I LOVE ARCHITECTURE LATELY?
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER
AS LONG AS WE HAVE, YOU...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.
OH. AND WE'RE BACK,
AND I THINK A MOVE
IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... NOPE.
YES!
NO!
YES! YES! AND WHAT A MOVE IT WAS
FROM OUR EXCHANGE
STUDENT YURI KIROV,
WHO HAILS FROM KAZAKHSTAN.
HA HA! I'LL TELL YOU,
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER
HE'LL BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN
THIS DIZZYING PACE.
OH... OH, AND... AND
THE COUNTERMOVE.
OH! AND A BEAUTY!
PAWN TO KNIGHT 4.
AN UNEXPECTEDLY AGGRESSIVE PLAY
BY OUR CHALLENGER
ISAAC GLICKSTEIN.
WE... WE HAVE A
SLUGFEST BREWIN' HERE
IN THE COHEN AUDITORIUM.
AND YURI, "THE MAD RUSSIAN,"
IS DOMINATING BOTH
SIDES OF THE BOARD!
AND GLICKSTEIN'S
QUEEN IS RUNNIN' SCARED.
GO GET 'EM, YURI!
FINISH HIM, YURI!
YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS IS A BLAST!
WE'VE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH.
OH! AND YURI SENDS HIS
BISHOP COAST TO COAST!
OH, WAIT!
WAIT! GLICKSTEIN'S KING
IS TRAPPED IN THE CORNER!
AND HE LOOKS LEFT.
HE LOOKS RIGHT.
THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO!
WAIT, WAIT! YES, IT'S
CHECKMATE! IT'S OVER!
WHOO!
THERE'S A PARTY IN
KAZAKHSTAN TONIGHT!
I LOVE SPORTS BROADCASTING!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
NOTHING.
OH... SHARON.
YOU THINK JOHNNY'S GONNA BE
ABLE TO SOLVE THAT, DON'T YOU?
IT'S POSSIBLE.
ADMIT IT. YOU LIKE THIS GUY,
AND YOU JUST CAN'T STAND THE FACT
THAT HE'S NOT AN INVESTMENT BANKER.
YOU ARE SO... SO NOW...
YOU'RE RATIONALIZING,
TELLING YOURSELF
HE'S SOME BIG GENIUS.
GO PLAY WITH PETE'S
BRAIN. LEAVE MINE ALONE.
JOHNNY. UH, WHAT
DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
HEY, I KNOW THIS.
YOU DO?
YEAH. SURE.
THERE YOU GO.
HUH!
HE DID IT.
JOHNNY PROVED THE ELUSIVE
"CUTE BUNNY WITH A BIG
FLUFFY TAIL" THEOREM.
HEY, EVERYONE.
HOW YOU ALL DOIN'?
OOH! MINE!
HEY, WHO'S THIS HAPPY GUY?
WHERE'S MY FRIEND?
YOU WERE RIGHT, BERG.
SPORTS BROADCASTING.
HA HA!
NOW, NORMALLY, THIS
TYPE OF PROGRESS
WOULD'VE TAKEN YEARS
OF PSYCHOANALYSIS.
ME? HALF-HOUR.
ARE YOU PETE DUNVILLE?
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
OH, I KNEW IT! HEY,
GUYS, I WAS RIGHT!
HERE HE IS... THE
VOICE OF CHESS!
YES, I AM.
COME ON, DO IT. DO IT!
OK, OK, OK.
[CLEARS THROAT]
THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE
REMINDING YOU...
IT'S YOUR MOVE.
OH, AWESOME!
[SUBDUED] ALL
RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
SO, I JUST STOPPED
IN TO LET YOU KNOW
TO HUDDLE AROUND
YOUR RADIOS TONIGHT
BECAUSE... THAT'S RIGHT...
PETE DUNVILLE IS ANNOUNCING
WOMEN'S BASKETBALL.
HA HA!
TUFTS VS. AMHERST.
5 P.M. TIPOFF.
OK, FIRST OF ALL... STOP REFERRING
TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON.
AND SECOND, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MEETING THE SENIOR PARTNERS TONIGHT.
I'M BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.
WHAT?
YUP. BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.
BUT THIS INTERNSHIP IS HUGE.
SET FOR LIFE. "CAN'T GET
YOU LEMONADE." REMEMBER?
THAT WAS BEFORE I DECIDED
TO QUIT ARCHITECTURE.
WHAT?!
YEAH! ALL THANKS TO THAT MAN,
FOR HE HATH SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.
DON'T LOOKETH AT ME.
HEY, HEY, YOU'RE A SEMESTER
AWAY FROM GETTING YOUR DEGREE.
GET YOUR BUTT DOWN
TO THAT INTERVIEW.
IF I GO TO THAT INTERVIEW,
I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
YEAH? I'M GONNA
GET THAT INTERNSHIP.
AND THEN I'M GONNA BE LOCKED
INTO THAT JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHY SETTLE FOR YECCH AND BLECCH
WHEN I CAN HAVE YIPPEE?
DON'T DO THIS. IT'S
BAD FOR YOUR FUTURE.
AND YOUR PARENTS
ARE GONNA BLAME ME.
YOUR MOTHER STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN
ME FOR SETTING THE POOL ON FIRE.
YOU DID SET THE POOL ON FIRE.
AND I'M TIRED OF
HEARIN' ABOUT IT.
EVER SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD,
I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT
BEING ANYTHING BUT AN ARCHITECT.
I MEAN, I WAS THE
ONLY KID ON MY BLOCK
WHO USED SCAFFOLDING
TO BUILD A SNOWMAN.
YES, WHICH IS WHY YOU
SHOULD BE AN ARCHITECT!
NO. NO. LOOK,
THIS STUPID ELECTIVE
HAS OPENED MY EYES.
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS OUT
THERE THAT I'VE BEEN MISSING,
BUT NOT ANYMORE. ALL RIGHT?
SO WISH ME LUCK.
GOOD-BYE, AND I WILL
SEE YOU ON THE RADIO.
AND PETE DUNVILLE
IS OUT THE DOOR!
WHERE DOES HE GET THESE IDEAS?
OHH!
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
YOU BROKE OUR
PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.
WHERE'S BERG? I NEED
HIM TO SIGN FOR THIS.
OH, YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
BUT IF YOU LEFT NOW,
TRAVELING AT 15.6
KILOMETERS PER HOUR,
AND BERG IS TRAVELING
AT 5.3 KILOMETERS PER HOUR,
HOW MANY MINUTES WILL IT BE
BEFORE YOU REACH HIM?
SO IN OTHER WORDS,
HE'S NOT HERE.
RIGHT.
OK. "NUMBER 42... TRACY KELLER.
RAISED HER 8 BROTHERS
WHILE FATHER WORKED NIGHTS."
MMM, IT'S A GOOD
HUMAN INTEREST STORY.
"NUMBER 8... CHERYL LaSASSO.
"AMAZING JUMP SHOT.
PARENTS LIVED IN A BUBBLE."
OK! I CAN USE THAT.
HEY YA, PETE.
BERG, BERG, DON'T EVEN
TRY AND TALK ME OUT OF THIS
'CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
I JUST CAME BY TO WISH YOU
LUCK IN YOUR NEW CAREER.
I EVEN... WELL, I... I
BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT.
OH!
WOW! BERG, THESE ARE AMAZING!
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE 'EM.
BERG, THESE ARE THE ORIGINAL
BLUEPRINTS FOR FENWAY PARK!
WELL, THIS IS SCALED DOWN.
IN REAL LIFE, IT'S REALLY
MUCH BIGGER THAN THIS.
OH. LOOK. LOOK. LOOK WHERE
THE SCOREBOARD USED TO BE.
MAN! THEY DON'T BUILD
'EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
AND LOOK... THEY USED I-BEAMS
TO SUPPORT THE UPPER DECK.
IT GAVE THE GAME CHARACTER.
IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH?
IT'S VERY, VERY COO.
SEE, THIS... THIS PUTS
EVERYTHING INTO PERSPECTIVE.
YOU KNOW, THIS GIVES ME
SOMETHING TO SHOOT FOR.
REALLY? YEAH.
I HOPE TO ANNOUNCE A
GAME THERE SOMEDAY.
NICE TRY.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE AN ELECTIVE...
NOT A CAREER.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T JUST THROW
EVERYTHING AWAY LIKE THIS.
YOU DID A GOOD THING. YOU
HELPED ME FIND MY CALLING.
YOUR CALLING?
YEAH! I'M A NATURAL.
YOU DID THE PLAY-BY-PLAY
FOR ONE CHESS MATCH.
I WAS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.
I DIDN'T MISS A MOVE.
THEY MADE A MOVE...
EVERY 35 MINUTES.
PETE! INTERVIEW!
COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? PETE...
HEY. YOU...
YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
IS VERY NEGATIVE.
SO, JOHNNY... YOU LIKE TO READ?
YEAH, I LIKE TO READ.
OH. WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF KANT'S CRITIQUE
OF PURE REASON?
OH, MAN, I COULDN'T GET
ENOUGH OF IT. REALLY?
NO! WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
LOOK, I WASN'T TRYING
TO S... YES, YOU WERE.
NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T
MEAN... YES, YOU DID.
SEE, DO I KNOW THIS,
DO I KNOW THAT? LOOK.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO KNOW.
I KNOW HOW TO TAKE
A CHEVY CARBURETOR
AND PUT IT INTO A FORD.
I KNOW EVERY WORD
TO EVERY MOTOWN
SONG EVER WRITTEN.
AND... I KNOW YOU
WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.
WHAT? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
GOOD WILL HUNTING.
OH. GOD, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO SEE THAT,
SHARON. BUT WHEN
I GO TO RENT IT... OK.
I KNOW ONE MORE THING.
YOU ARE VERY, VERY CUTE.
[GIGGLES]
GUESS I DON'T
HAVE TO BE A GENIUS
TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S 5:00.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
TURN ON THE RADIO.
YOUR STUPID FRIEND IS ON.
HA HA HA HA!
Pete: GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AND WELCOME TO COUSENS GYM.
I'M PETE DUNVILLE,
AND WE'RE JUST SECONDS
AWAY FROM THE TIPOFF
OF WHAT PROMISES TO BE
THE MOST EXPLOSIVE GAME
BETWEEN THESE 2
INTRASTATE RIVALS.
OK, LOOKS LIKE
THEY'RE READY TO PLAY,
AND HERE'S THE TIP!
COPLEY'S ALL OVER IT AS TUFTS
SENDS IT UP COURT ON A FAST BREAK.
COPLEY PASSES IT
TO SHEILA LAWRENCE!
SHEILA LAWRENCE
FINDS LaSASSO BASELINE!
AND CHERYL LaSASSO DUNKS IT,
JUST LIKE A MAN!
DUNKS... LIKE A MAN?
OH, PETE, DON'T EXPLAIN
IT. JUST MOVE ON. MOVE ON.
AND WHEN... WHEN I SAY
SHE DUNKS IT LIKE A MAN,
I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY THAT
WOMEN AREN'T AS GOOD AS MEN,
THEY'RE JUST SLOWER.
IT'S LIKE A HANDICAP,
BUT... BUT NOT A BAD ONE.
WOMEN CAN DO
ANYTHING. I MEAN, I'M SURE...
I'M SURE THAT SOMEDAY WE'LL
EVEN HAVE A WOMAN PRESIDENT.
WE ALMOST HAD A BLACK PRESIDENT.
NOT THAT WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT.
IN FACT, NEXT ELECTION,
I'M VOTING FOR A
WOMAN BLACK PRESIDENT.
SHUT UP, PETE. JUST
SHUT UP ALREADY.
AND I'M GONNA VOTE FOR HER,
NOT BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK,
BUT BECAUSE SHE'S
THE MOST QUALIFIED...
WHOEVER SHE IS.
THE SCORE IS 16-12 AS WE
GO INTO OUR FIRST TIME-OUT.
I'M PETE DUNVILLE WITH
WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO BE...
MY LAST BROADCAST.
[JUKEBOX PLAYING SLOW TUNE]
JOHNNY, I'M TELLING YOU.
I'M NOT JUST SAYING THIS.
THEY'RE NOT A COUPLE OF IDIOTS.
LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS,
SOMEHOW, SOMEBODY GOT
RIGATONI IN THE JUKEBOX.
OOH! HA HA!
YOU JUST HAVE TO
GET TO KNOW 'EM.
MY PROFESSOR, MISS DEVORE,
MADE A POINT TO STOP BY
AND PERSONALLY GIVE ME A "D."
THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A
"D" BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SECURITY GAVE YOU A
PERSONAL ESCORT TO YOUR CAR.
THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
LOOK, I'VE BEEN STUDYING
ARCHITECTURE MY WHOLE LIFE, RIGHT?
AND THEN ALONG COMES THIS
SPORTS BROADCASTING THING,
AND IT FELT GREAT!
YOU KNOW? AND I KNOW
I WENT A LITTLE NUTS.
ALL RIGHT. BUT IT
WAS SO LIBERATING.
SO BASICALLY, THE
THING I LOVE, I SUCK AT.
BOY, DO YOU EVER. I'LL SAY.
RHETORICAL. DIDN'T
NEED A RESPONSE.
[SIGHS]
AND THE THING I'M
GREAT AT, I THREW AWAY.
NOT NECESSARILY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THAT BIG FIRM YOU HAD
THE INTERVIEW WITH?
YOU HAVE ANOTHER
INTERVIEW TUESDAY.
I... I WROTE THEM A NOTE AS YOUR
DOCTOR SAYING YOU WERE ILL.
REALLY? YEAH. NOW,
IF ANYBODY ASKS,
YOU HAD ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY.
SO TWITCH A LITTLE.
YOU BROKE OUR
PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.
BUT, WAIT.
BEFORE, BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING...
YOU JUST SLAPPED ME
IN THE (BEEP) DIDN'T YOU?
THAT THREW YOU?!
YEAH.
IT WAS JUST LIKE A NICE
LITTLE SURPRISE ON MY DAY.
SHOULD I NOT SLAPPED HIS (BEEP)?
SURE. SURE. IT FELT GREAT.
THIS GAME SUCKS.
WHERE'S THE REMOTE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?
I THINK SHARON'S SITTING ON IT.
NO, I'M NOT.
WELL, ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH. I THINK I'D FEEL IT.
SHARON, I LEFT IT RIGHT
WHERE YOU'RE SITTING.
COME ON, GET UP.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
SEE?
LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE UP,
COULD YOU GET US A
COUPLE MORE BEERS?
LOOKING FOR THIS?
YEAH. THANKS.
CAN I GET YOU A TALL
COOL GLASS OF LEMONADE?
YEAH. THAT'D BE NICE.
COMING RIGHT UP.
SHARON. GOING
AFTER THE REPAIRMAN.
CHICK-A-BWOW.
DID YOU EVER STOP AND AND THINK
THAT JOHNNY JUST MIGHT BE
AN EMOTIONALLY SCARRED
WORKING-CLASS HERO
WHOSE GENIUS IS SIMPLY UNTAPPED?
YOU KNOW, SHARON, I AM SO SORRY
THAT I GOT YOU GOOD WILL
HUNTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
PETE, CAN I GET A
LEMONADE, PLEASE?
SHARON, I'M WORKING HERE.
HENCE MY CRAZY IDEA
TO ORDER FROM YOU.
I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
WITH MY CLASS
SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW.
I WOULD'VE GONE
OVER IT LAST NIGHT,
BUT I WAS A LITTLE BUSY
PREPARING FOR MY INTERVIEW
WITH CONWAY AND ASSOCIATES.
IT'S JUST THE BIGGEST
ARCHITECTURE FIRM IN BOSTON, OK?
AND IF I GET THIS INTERNSHIP,
I'M GONNA BE SET
FOR LIFE. SET FOR LIFE!
BUT I SUPPOSE...
I SUPPOSE I CAN PUT
EVERYTHING ON HOLD
AND GET YOU YOUR LEMONADE!
OK.
OK.
I'LL GET THE LEMONADE.
GOD, ICE THAT VEIN IN THE
MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD.
I JUST STARTED MY
PSYCH ROTATION.
GREAT.
AND, YOU KNOW, I THINK
I FOUND MY CALLING...
EASING THE WOES OF
THE PETES OF THE WORLD.
WELL, ON BEHALF OF
THE PETES OF THE WORLD,
GO AWAY.
PETE, COME ON, WHAT'S WRONG?
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
LET ME GRADUATE
UNLESS I TAKE AN ELECTIVE.
WHAT KIND OF POLICE
STATE ARE WE LIVING IN?
BERG, LOOK, IT'S MY
LAST YEAR, ALL RIGHT?
I NEED TO FOCUS.
I DON'T NEED A
DISTRACTION RIGHT NOW.
A DISTRACTION IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE TOO FOCUSED, OK?
YOU'VE BEEN EATING AND
SLEEPING ARCHITECTURE
FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS.
YOU'RE STRESSED
OUT OVER A CAREER
THAT YOU HAVEN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.
YOU KNOW, I THINK
THAT A NICE, EASY ELECTIVE
WOULD BE A GOOD THING.
IT'LL LOOSEN YOU UP.
OK! OK!
I WISH I HAD MY LAST SEMESTER
TO DO ALL OVER AGAIN.
BECAUSE ONCE YOU'RE
OUT IN THE REAL WORLD,
EVERY DAY IS ALL...
YECCH AND... AND... BLECCH.
YOU GOT THAT LEMONADE?
Sharon: OH, YEAH. HERE YOU GO.
Berg: OK. RIGHT HERE...
THE PERFECT ELECTIVE.
INTERMEDIATE BOWLING.
BOWLING?
THAT'S A COURSE?
I'VE BEEN BOWLING EVERY WEDNESDAY
NIGHT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.
WHERE'S MY Ph.D.?
JOHN, IT'S NOT JUST BOWLING.
IT'S BOWLING... APPRECIATION.
WHAT I APPRECIATE ABOUT BOWLING
IS IT COSTS ME 15 BUCKS.
IT'S GONNA COST
YOU CLOWNS 8 GRAND.
GO FIGURE.
[LAUGHING]
I GOTTA TRACK DOWN A
PART. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
AND THANKS FOR THE LEMONADE.
SURE.
HA HA HA.
YEAH, YEAH. IF HE'S SO SMART,
WHY IS IT TAKING HIM 4
DAYS TO FIX A JUKEBOX?
EVERY NIGHT, AFTER HE LEAVES,
I BREAK A DIFFERENT PART.
OH! MAN, I GOTTA
XEROX MY BLUEPRINTS,
I GOTTA PICK UP MY
SUIT FROM THE CLEANERS,
AND, SOMEHOW, I HAVE
TO DROP THESE CARDS OFF
TO THE REGISTRAR'S
OFFICE BY 5:00.
HEY, IF YOU WANT,
I'LL DROP BY THE REGISTRAR'S
OFFICE ON THE WAY HOME
AND DROP THOSE OFF FOR YOU.
YOU RULE.
I MOST CERTAINLY DO.
HEY, BERG.
HEY.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
FUNNIEST THING...
I WENT IN TO MY
METALLURGY CLASS TODAY,
AND IT TURNS OUT I'M NOT
ENROLLED IN METALLURGY.
APPARENTLY, SOMEONE ENROLLED ME
IN SPORTS BROADCASTING.
HMM...
AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
ANGRY.
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW TELL ME, HOW ARE
WE GONNA WORK THROUGH
THESE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, PETE?
WELL, FIRST, I'M
GONNA LUNGE AT YOU
AND BEAT YOU UNCONSCIOUS
WITH MY SPORTS
BROADCASTING BOOK.
COME ON.
OH, NO. I CAN DO IT. IT'S
A REALLY HEAVY BOOK.
BERG, I TRIED TO SWITCH OUT,
BUT ALL THE OTHER
ELECTIVES WERE FULL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE
GOTTEN THERE EARLY,
LIKE I DID.
BERG, I GOTTA GO
TO THIS INTERVIEW.
THEN I GOTTA RUSH OVER AND
ANNOUNCE THIS STUPID GAME
FOR THIS STUPID COURSE THAT
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TAKING.
AND IF I DON'T
GO, I'M GONNA FAIL!
THIS IS THE REST OF MY
LIFE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
EXACTLY.
THIS IS YOUR LAST YEAR
OF GRAD SCHOOL. OK?
YOUR LAST YEAR TO
DO SOMETHING... FUN.
WHOO-HOO!
YOUR LAST YEAR BEFORE
YECCH AND BLECCH.
THIS IS MY LAST YEAR.
OH, MY GOD. BERG,
IT'S MY LAST YEAR.
AND YOU WANTED TO
STRIKE ME WITH A BOOK.
BUT SPORTS BROADCASTING?
COME ON. YOU KNOW SPORTS
BETTER THAN ANYONE. TRUE.
HOW MANY TIMES WATCHING
FOOTBALL AT O'MALLEY'S
HAVE PEOPLE THROWN
PEANUTS AT YOUR HEAD
AND TOLD YOU TO SIT
DOWN AND SHUT UP?
A LOT.
NOW YOU GET COLLEGE
CREDIT FOR THAT.
IT'LL BE GREAT.
THE BIG CROWD, THE STADIUM,
THE FANS, THE
ACTION ON THE FIELD.
AND TELL ME...
WHO, WHO IS GONNA BRING THAT FUN
INTO EVERYONE'S LIVING ROOMS?
PETE DUNVILLE?
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GO TO MY INTERVIEW.
I WANT YOU TO MEET
ME AT THE GAME.
AND IF I DON'T HAVE ANY FUN,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
KILL YOU AFTERWARDS.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I MUST SAY, MR. DUNVILLE,
YOUR PORTFOLIO
IS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.
I FOUND THIS ON THE BUS.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE
JOKE TO BREAK...
BREAK THE TENSION.
SO, WHAT INSPIRED YOU
TO BE AN ARCHITECT?
OH, MY DAD. MY DAD MOSTLY.
WAS HE AN ARCHITECT?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE WAS A FOREMAN ON
CONSTRUCTION SITES.
EVER SINCE I WAS,
LIKE, 8 YEARS OLD,
HE ALWAYS HAD THESE
BIG DREAMS FOR ME.
AND, YOU KNOW,
SO... HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THE THING THAT
STRIKES ME, MR. DUNVILLE,
IS IN THE PAST 25 MINUTES,
YOU'VE ANSWERED
ALL OF OUR QUESTIONS
IN A CLEAR AND COMPETENT MANNER.
BUT THE ONE THING I
HAVEN'T HEARD YOU SAY IS...
WHY YOU LOVE ARCHITECTURE.
WHY I LOVE ARCHITECTURE.
UM...
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE THING IS, IS...
WELL, I MEAN, IT'S BECAUSE...
WELL, WITHOUT ARCHITECTURE,
WE'D ALL BE OUTSIDE.
THANK YOU, MR. DUNVILLE.
WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK TOMORROW
TO MEET OUR SENIOR PARTNERS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
DID YOU GET THAT
THING WITH THE BUS?
THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE
FOR WMFO COLLEGE RADIO,
AND WE'VE GOT A REAL
CLASH OF THE TITANS TONIGHT.
THE FIRST ROUND
OF THE MONDAY NIGHT
CHESS CLUB TOURNAMENT
IS JUST SECONDS AWAY
AFTER THESE WORDS
FROM FRANK'S AUTO REPAIR.
REMEMBER, AT FRANK'S...
YOU WON'T GET ROOKED.
PETE, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YOU GOT THE CROWD IN A FRENZY.
IT'LL BE GREAT... YOU SAY.
IT'LL BE GREAT!
THE CROWD, THE STADIUM,
THE ACTION ON THE FIELD!
THIS GAME DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A BALL.
SO... SO... I... I TAKE IT THE
INTERVIEW WENT POORLY.
NO, NO.
THE INTERVIEW WENT GREAT.
I'M GOING BACK TO MEET
THE SENIOR PARTNERS.
HEY. HAVE I TOLD YOU
THAT I LOVE ARCHITECTURE LATELY?
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER
AS LONG AS WE HAVE, YOU...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.
OH. AND WE'RE BACK,
AND I THINK A MOVE
IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... NOPE.
YES!
NO!
YES! YES! AND WHAT A MOVE IT WAS
FROM OUR EXCHANGE
STUDENT YURI KIROV,
WHO HAILS FROM KAZAKHSTAN.
HA HA! I'LL TELL YOU,
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER
HE'LL BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN
THIS DIZZYING PACE.
OH... OH, AND... AND
THE COUNTERMOVE.
OH! AND A BEAUTY!
PAWN TO KNIGHT 4.
AN UNEXPECTEDLY AGGRESSIVE PLAY
BY OUR CHALLENGER
ISAAC GLICKSTEIN.
WE... WE HAVE A
SLUGFEST BREWIN' HERE
IN THE COHEN AUDITORIUM.
AND YURI, "THE MAD RUSSIAN,"
IS DOMINATING BOTH
SIDES OF THE BOARD!
AND GLICKSTEIN'S
QUEEN IS RUNNIN' SCARED.
GO GET 'EM, YURI!
FINISH HIM, YURI!
YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS IS A BLAST!
WE'VE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH.
OH! AND YURI SENDS HIS
BISHOP COAST TO COAST!
OH, WAIT!
WAIT! GLICKSTEIN'S KING
IS TRAPPED IN THE CORNER!
AND HE LOOKS LEFT.
HE LOOKS RIGHT.
THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO!
WAIT, WAIT! YES, IT'S
CHECKMATE! IT'S OVER!
WHOO!
THERE'S A PARTY IN
KAZAKHSTAN TONIGHT!
I LOVE SPORTS BROADCASTING!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
NOTHING.
OH... SHARON.
YOU THINK JOHNNY'S GONNA BE
ABLE TO SOLVE THAT, DON'T YOU?
IT'S POSSIBLE.
ADMIT IT. YOU LIKE THIS GUY,
AND YOU JUST CAN'T STAND THE FACT
THAT HE'S NOT AN INVESTMENT BANKER.
YOU ARE SO... SO NOW...
YOU'RE RATIONALIZING,
TELLING YOURSELF
HE'S SOME BIG GENIUS.
GO PLAY WITH PETE'S
BRAIN. LEAVE MINE ALONE.
JOHNNY. UH, WHAT
DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
HEY, I KNOW THIS.
YOU DO?
YEAH. SURE.
THERE YOU GO.
HUH!
HE DID IT.
JOHNNY PROVED THE ELUSIVE
"CUTE BUNNY WITH A BIG
FLUFFY TAIL" THEOREM.
HEY, EVERYONE.
HOW YOU ALL DOIN'?
OOH! MINE!
HEY, WHO'S THIS HAPPY GUY?
WHERE'S MY FRIEND?
YOU WERE RIGHT, BERG.
SPORTS BROADCASTING.
HA HA!
NOW, NORMALLY, THIS
TYPE OF PROGRESS
WOULD'VE TAKEN YEARS
OF PSYCHOANALYSIS.
ME? HALF-HOUR.
ARE YOU PETE DUNVILLE?
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
OH, I KNEW IT! HEY,
GUYS, I WAS RIGHT!
HERE HE IS... THE
VOICE OF CHESS!
YES, I AM.
COME ON, DO IT. DO IT!
OK, OK, OK.
[CLEARS THROAT]
THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE
REMINDING YOU...
IT'S YOUR MOVE.
OH, AWESOME!
[SUBDUED] ALL
RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
SO, I JUST STOPPED
IN TO LET YOU KNOW
TO HUDDLE AROUND
YOUR RADIOS TONIGHT
BECAUSE... THAT'S RIGHT...
PETE DUNVILLE IS ANNOUNCING
WOMEN'S BASKETBALL.
HA HA!
TUFTS VS. AMHERST.
5 P.M. TIPOFF.
OK, FIRST OF ALL... STOP REFERRING
TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON.
AND SECOND, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MEETING THE SENIOR PARTNERS TONIGHT.
I'M BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.
WHAT?
YUP. BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.
BUT THIS INTERNSHIP IS HUGE.
SET FOR LIFE. "CAN'T GET
YOU LEMONADE." REMEMBER?
THAT WAS BEFORE I DECIDED
TO QUIT ARCHITECTURE.
WHAT?!
YEAH! ALL THANKS TO THAT MAN,
FOR HE HATH SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.
DON'T LOOKETH AT ME.
HEY, HEY, YOU'RE A SEMESTER
AWAY FROM GETTING YOUR DEGREE.
GET YOUR BUTT DOWN
TO THAT INTERVIEW.
IF I GO TO THAT INTERVIEW,
I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
YEAH? I'M GONNA
GET THAT INTERNSHIP.
AND THEN I'M GONNA BE LOCKED
INTO THAT JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHY SETTLE FOR YECCH AND BLECCH
WHEN I CAN HAVE YIPPEE?
DON'T DO THIS. IT'S
BAD FOR YOUR FUTURE.
AND YOUR PARENTS
ARE GONNA BLAME ME.
YOUR MOTHER STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN
ME FOR SETTING THE POOL ON FIRE.
YOU DID SET THE POOL ON FIRE.
AND I'M TIRED OF
HEARIN' ABOUT IT.
EVER SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD,
I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT
BEING ANYTHING BUT AN ARCHITECT.
I MEAN, I WAS THE
ONLY KID ON MY BLOCK
WHO USED SCAFFOLDING
TO BUILD A SNOWMAN.
YES, WHICH IS WHY YOU
SHOULD BE AN ARCHITECT!
NO. NO. LOOK,
THIS STUPID ELECTIVE
HAS OPENED MY EYES.
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS OUT
THERE THAT I'VE BEEN MISSING,
BUT NOT ANYMORE. ALL RIGHT?
SO WISH ME LUCK.
GOOD-BYE, AND I WILL
SEE YOU ON THE RADIO.
AND PETE DUNVILLE
IS OUT THE DOOR!
WHERE DOES HE GET THESE IDEAS?
OHH!
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
YOU BROKE OUR
PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.
WHERE'S BERG? I NEED
HIM TO SIGN FOR THIS.
OH, YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
BUT IF YOU LEFT NOW,
TRAVELING AT 15.6
KILOMETERS PER HOUR,
AND BERG IS TRAVELING
AT 5.3 KILOMETERS PER HOUR,
HOW MANY MINUTES WILL IT BE
BEFORE YOU REACH HIM?
SO IN OTHER WORDS,
HE'S NOT HERE.
RIGHT.
OK. "NUMBER 42... TRACY KELLER.
RAISED HER 8 BROTHERS
WHILE FATHER WORKED NIGHTS."
MMM, IT'S A GOOD
HUMAN INTEREST STORY.
"NUMBER 8... CHERYL LaSASSO.
"AMAZING JUMP SHOT.
PARENTS LIVED IN A BUBBLE."
OK! I CAN USE THAT.
HEY YA, PETE.
BERG, BERG, DON'T EVEN
TRY AND TALK ME OUT OF THIS
'CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
I JUST CAME BY TO WISH YOU
LUCK IN YOUR NEW CAREER.
I EVEN... WELL, I... I
BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT.
OH!
WOW! BERG, THESE ARE AMAZING!
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE 'EM.
BERG, THESE ARE THE ORIGINAL
BLUEPRINTS FOR FENWAY PARK!
WELL, THIS IS SCALED DOWN.
IN REAL LIFE, IT'S REALLY
MUCH BIGGER THAN THIS.
OH. LOOK. LOOK. LOOK WHERE
THE SCOREBOARD USED TO BE.
MAN! THEY DON'T BUILD
'EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
AND LOOK... THEY USED I-BEAMS
TO SUPPORT THE UPPER DECK.
IT GAVE THE GAME CHARACTER.
IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH?
IT'S VERY, VERY COO.
SEE, THIS... THIS PUTS
EVERYTHING INTO PERSPECTIVE.
YOU KNOW, THIS GIVES ME
SOMETHING TO SHOOT FOR.
REALLY? YEAH.
I HOPE TO ANNOUNCE A
GAME THERE SOMEDAY.
NICE TRY.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE AN ELECTIVE...
NOT A CAREER.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T JUST THROW
EVERYTHING AWAY LIKE THIS.
YOU DID A GOOD THING. YOU
HELPED ME FIND MY CALLING.
YOUR CALLING?
YEAH! I'M A NATURAL.
YOU DID THE PLAY-BY-PLAY
FOR ONE CHESS MATCH.
I WAS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.
I DIDN'T MISS A MOVE.
THEY MADE A MOVE...
EVERY 35 MINUTES.
PETE! INTERVIEW!
COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? PETE...
HEY. YOU...
YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
IS VERY NEGATIVE.
SO, JOHNNY... YOU LIKE TO READ?
YEAH, I LIKE TO READ.
OH. WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF KANT'S CRITIQUE
OF PURE REASON?
OH, MAN, I COULDN'T GET
ENOUGH OF IT. REALLY?
NO! WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
LOOK, I WASN'T TRYING
TO S... YES, YOU WERE.
NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T
MEAN... YES, YOU DID.
SEE, DO I KNOW THIS,
DO I KNOW THAT? LOOK.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO KNOW.
I KNOW HOW TO TAKE
A CHEVY CARBURETOR
AND PUT IT INTO A FORD.
I KNOW EVERY WORD
TO EVERY MOTOWN
SONG EVER WRITTEN.
AND... I KNOW YOU
WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.
WHAT? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
GOOD WILL HUNTING.
OH. GOD, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO SEE THAT,
SHARON. BUT WHEN
I GO TO RENT IT... OK.
I KNOW ONE MORE THING.
YOU ARE VERY, VERY CUTE.
[GIGGLES]
GUESS I DON'T
HAVE TO BE A GENIUS
TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S 5:00.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
TURN ON THE RADIO.
YOUR STUPID FRIEND IS ON.
HA HA HA HA!
Pete: GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AND WELCOME TO COUSENS GYM.
I'M PETE DUNVILLE,
AND WE'RE JUST SECONDS
AWAY FROM THE TIPOFF
OF WHAT PROMISES TO BE
THE MOST EXPLOSIVE GAME
BETWEEN THESE 2
INTRASTATE RIVALS.
OK, LOOKS LIKE
THEY'RE READY TO PLAY,
AND HERE'S THE TIP!
COPLEY'S ALL OVER IT AS TUFTS
SENDS IT UP COURT ON A FAST BREAK.
COPLEY PASSES IT
TO SHEILA LAWRENCE!
SHEILA LAWRENCE
FINDS LaSASSO BASELINE!
AND CHERYL LaSASSO DUNKS IT,
JUST LIKE A MAN!
DUNKS... LIKE A MAN?
OH, PETE, DON'T EXPLAIN
IT. JUST MOVE ON. MOVE ON.
AND WHEN... WHEN I SAY
SHE DUNKS IT LIKE A MAN,
I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY THAT
WOMEN AREN'T AS GOOD AS MEN,
THEY'RE JUST SLOWER.
IT'S LIKE A HANDICAP,
BUT... BUT NOT A BAD ONE.
WOMEN CAN DO
ANYTHING. I MEAN, I'M SURE...
I'M SURE THAT SOMEDAY WE'LL
EVEN HAVE A WOMAN PRESIDENT.
WE ALMOST HAD A BLACK PRESIDENT.
NOT THAT WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT.
IN FACT, NEXT ELECTION,
I'M VOTING FOR A
WOMAN BLACK PRESIDENT.
SHUT UP, PETE. JUST
SHUT UP ALREADY.
AND I'M GONNA VOTE FOR HER,
NOT BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK,
BUT BECAUSE SHE'S
THE MOST QUALIFIED...
WHOEVER SHE IS.
THE SCORE IS 16-12 AS WE
GO INTO OUR FIRST TIME-OUT.
I'M PETE DUNVILLE WITH
WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO BE...
MY LAST BROADCAST.
[JUKEBOX PLAYING SLOW TUNE]
JOHNNY, I'M TELLING YOU.
I'M NOT JUST SAYING THIS.
THEY'RE NOT A COUPLE OF IDIOTS.
LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS,
SOMEHOW, SOMEBODY GOT
RIGATONI IN THE JUKEBOX.
OOH! HA HA!
YOU JUST HAVE TO
GET TO KNOW 'EM.
MY PROFESSOR, MISS DEVORE,
MADE A POINT TO STOP BY
AND PERSONALLY GIVE ME A "D."
THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A
"D" BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SECURITY GAVE YOU A
PERSONAL ESCORT TO YOUR CAR.
THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
LOOK, I'VE BEEN STUDYING
ARCHITECTURE MY WHOLE LIFE, RIGHT?
AND THEN ALONG COMES THIS
SPORTS BROADCASTING THING,
AND IT FELT GREAT!
YOU KNOW? AND I KNOW
I WENT A LITTLE NUTS.
ALL RIGHT. BUT IT
WAS SO LIBERATING.
SO BASICALLY, THE
THING I LOVE, I SUCK AT.
BOY, DO YOU EVER. I'LL SAY.
RHETORICAL. DIDN'T
NEED A RESPONSE.
[SIGHS]
AND THE THING I'M
GREAT AT, I THREW AWAY.
NOT NECESSARILY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THAT BIG FIRM YOU HAD
THE INTERVIEW WITH?
YOU HAVE ANOTHER
INTERVIEW TUESDAY.
I... I WROTE THEM A NOTE AS YOUR
DOCTOR SAYING YOU WERE ILL.
REALLY? YEAH. NOW,
IF ANYBODY ASKS,
YOU HAD ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY.
SO TWITCH A LITTLE.
YOU BROKE OUR
PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.
BUT, WAIT.
BEFORE, BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING...
YOU JUST SLAPPED ME
IN THE (BEEP) DIDN'T YOU?
THAT THREW YOU?!
YEAH.
IT WAS JUST LIKE A NICE
LITTLE SURPRISE ON MY DAY.
SHOULD I NOT SLAPPED HIS (BEEP)?
SURE. SURE. IT FELT GREAT.