Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 2, Episode 12 - Two Guys, a Girl and a Christmas Story - full transcript

FINE, FINE, FINE,
FINE, FINE, FINE,

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

THEY'RE MAKING ME
WORK CHRISTMAS.

WE'RE CLOSING THE PIZZA PLACE.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST
CLOSE THE HOSPITAL?

THAT PLACE IS ALWAYS OPEN.

WHAT IS IT, A DENNY'S?

THIS SUCKS.

YOU KNOW WHAT,

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,

I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR
CHRISTMAS GIFT EARLY.



REALLY? YEAH.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

"I.O.U. A SCARF."

COME ON, I'M BROKE.

I'M GETTING MY
PARENTS THE SAME THING,

BUT ON NICER PAPER.

AND I'M GETTING YOU
ONE FREE PHYSICAL.

YEAH. COUGH, DOUGH BOY.

HEY, GUYS! HO! HO! HO!

WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY?

I'M IN CHARGE OF THE
COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTY.

AND THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE...

BECAUSE THIS TIME OF
YEAR IS ABOUT GIVING.

AND BY THROWING
THE BEST PARTY I CAN,



THEY'RE GONNA GIVE ME A
CHRISTMAS BONUS FATTER THAN SANTA.

OH, YEAH!

OH, YEAH!

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

"I.O.U. AN APOLOGY."

WHY?

SAVE THAT FOR EASTER.

SHOOT!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I WAS GONNA HIRE LITTLE PEOPLE

TO DRESS UP AS
ELVES AND BE WAITERS,

BUT THEY'RE ALL BOOKED.

IT'S THEIR BUSY SEASON.

YEAH. NOW AND ST. PATRICK'S DAY.

LEPRECHAUNS.

STUPID, STUPID HOSPITAL.

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD BE A RABBI.

I BET THEY GET CHRISTMAS OFF.

PETE, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?

AW, NOTHING MUCH. JUST,
YOU KNOW, SOME SOCKS.

OH, AND A MEANINGFUL
RELATIONSHIP.

OH, AND A CAREER.

OH, LET ME GET THAT.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANKS.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'SWRONG WITH ME.

I'M JUST ABSOLUTELY
FALLING APART.

WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW,
AND YOU'RE SAFE WITH ME.

I ORDERED A LARGE PIZZA TO GO.

AT LEAST I THINK I
ORDERED IT HERE.

IT'S UNDER "KAITLIN."

I'LL CHECK. THANKS.

EXCUSE ME.

DO I KNOW YOU?

YOUR VOICE SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR.

YOU'RE LISTENING TO...

[FLUTTERING] WJX-AM 10-70.

THIS IS KAITLIN RUSH

GETTING YOU THROUGH
THE RUSH HOUR.

YOU'RE THE SKY-COPTER LADY.

YOU'RE KAITLIN RUSH.

I LISTEN TO YOU ALL THE TIME,

AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR.

OH, I LOVE YOU.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE
LAST WEEK. I DID?

YEAH. REMEMBER WHEN
THAT BIG TANKER JACK-KNIFED?

I GOT SCARED, AND
I STARTED TO PANIC,

BUT YOU STILL GOT ME TO
MY NAIL APPOINTMENT ON TIME.

IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU, TOO.

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BLOND.

YOU SOUND SO BRUNETTE.

ANYWAY, HERE'S, UH,
HERE'S YOUR PIZZA.

THANKS. THANKS.

UM, OH, MY GOSH.
I'M OUT OF CHECKS.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WHY
DON'T YOU COME BACK LATER,

AND WE'LL SETTLE UP THEN?

THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

[JINGLING]

KEYS. KEYS.

BELIEVE ME,

I AM USUALLY SO MUCH
MORE TOGETHER THAN THIS,

BUT MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT
LEFT ME LAST MONTH...

OR I MISPLACED HER.

FOR CHRISTMAS, I COULD
USE AN ARMY OF ELVES

TO HELP ME ORGANIZE MY LIFE.

THEY'RE ALL BOOKED.

I KNOW SOMEONE

WHO WOULD LOVE TO
SPEND ALL DAY WITH YOU

AND HELP YOU GET ORGANIZED.

WHO? ME.

YOU? YEAH, ME.

AND I'M REALLY GOOD, TOO. DO YOU
REMEMBER HANDS ACROSS AMERICA?

YOU ORGANIZED THAT?

NO, BUT I GOT A T-SHIRT FROM IT,

AND THE T-SHIRT'S IN MY CLOSET.

AND MY CLOSET... VERY ORGANIZED.

WELL, I COULD
ACTUALLY USE SOME HELP

GETTING MY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

ARE YOU GOOD AT SHOPPING?

ARE YOU KID... ARE
YOU KIDDING ME?

DO YOU SEE
EVERYTHING I'M WEARING?

I BOUGHT THEM.

I'M PETE DUNVILLE.

KAITLIN RUSH.

UM... HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.

GREAT.

HERE YOU GO.

I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.

OK.

OH. THANK YOU.

HMM?

PETE DUNVILLE...
PERSONAL SHOPPER.

PETE DUNVILLE...
MAJOR LEAGUE HORNY.

AH, MR. HARRISON. WHAT
DO YOU NEED THIS TIME?

I'VE GOT ANOTHER LUNCH COMING,

AND I'M NOT GOING
ANYWHERE UNTIL I GET IT.

YOU'RE RELEASED. YOU'RE FREE.

WHY DON'T YOU GO?

ALL RIGHT.

I WANT TURKEY, MASHED
POTATOES, AND PUDDING.

AND NOTHING SHOULD BE
TOUCHING ANYTHING ELSE.

I AM NOT YOUR WAITER, OK?

NOW, DO YOU NEED SOMEONE
TO COME PICK YOU UP?

MY DAUGHTER, WHO'S A BIG LAWYER,

IS COMING HERE TO PICK ME UP.

GOOD.

AND SHE'S GONNA SUE YOUR ASS

IF YOU DON'T GET ME LUNCH.

FINE.

HE'S AS STUPID AS HE IS TALL.

MEAT LOAF, GREEN BEANS, PEACHES.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

THE GREEN BEANS AND
MEAT LOAF ARE TOUCHING.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU
THINK.THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS.

AND HOW GOES THE PARTY-PLANNING?

OFF MY BACK, SPANKY!

AAGH! I GOT THE BOOZE,
I GOT THE CATERERS,

BUT I DON'T HAVE
THE ENTERTAINMENT.

LOSE THE CATERER,
DOUBLE THE BOOZE,

AND THE ENTERTAINMENT
WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.

NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.

LAST YEAR... GREAT PARTY.
GUY GOT A HUGE BONUS.

2 YEARS AGO... LOUSY PARTY.

GUY GOT HEDGE CLIPPERS.

AT LEAST THEY GAVE
HIM SOMETHING USEFUL.

YEAH, BECAUSE THE BOSS
MADE HIM HIS GARDENER.

IT'S... [TO THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS]
♪ 4 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ AND SHARON'S REALLY SCREWED ♪

♪ LOST HER CUSHY JOB,
HAS TO SELL HER CAR ♪

♪ GONNA BE A GARDENER ♪

♪ AND BERG HAS TO
WORK ON CHRISTMAS DAY ♪

HEY, I WAS JUST KIDDING.

OH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA...
THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.

I'LL GET THE PIPERS PIPING
AND THE DRUMMERS DRUMMING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

♪ GONNA BE A GARDENER ♪

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WOW. A GIRL AFTER
MY OWN CREDIT LIMIT.

PETE HAS SUCH GREAT IDEAS.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

KAITLIN RUSH.

ONE SEC.

WHAT A GREAT DAY.

WE HAD SO MUCH FUN, AND
WE TALKED ABOUT REAL THINGS,

THINGS THAT MATTER.

LIKE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.

HAS SHE EVER BEEN
MARRIED? I DON'T KNOW.

IS SHE RELIGIOUS?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT'S HER FAVORITE BEER?

HEFEWEIZEN. CLASSY.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

SHE'S SO DIFFERENT
THAN GIRLS OUR AGE.

SHE'S SELF-ASSURED.

SHE KNOWS WHO SHE
IS AND WHAT SHE WANTS.

SHE WANTS TO BE 25.

MEOW!

PETE, POSSIBLE CHANGE OF PLANS.

WE MAY HAVE TO
SWING BYTHE TUX SHOP.

OK. WHY?

WELL, TOMORROW NIGHT,

I HAVE THESE AWFUL
LOCAL MEDIA AWARDS.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO
WITH MY PROGRAM DIRECTOR,

BUT HE CANCELED ON ME.

IT'S BLACK TIE, IT'S BORING,

AND YOU JUST WANNA
EAT A GRENADE.

SOUNDS HIDEOUS.

YOU WANNA COME? I'M THERE.

YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

WELL, IT'S WONDERFUL
TO DO WONDERFUL THINGS

FOR SOMEONE... SO WONDERFUL.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

HERE YOU GO, SHARON.

OH, THANKS, BERG.

YOU'RE SWELL.

WELL, IT'S SWELL TO
DO SWELLISH THINGS

FOR SOMEONE SO SWELL.

OH, PIZZA BOY.

MR. HARRISON, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I ASKED AT THE HOSPITAL,

AND THEY TOLD ME
THAT YOU WERE HERE.

AND NOW, MR. SMART
GUY, GUESS WHAT?

YOU'RE MY WAITER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WERE
SO DOWN ON THE AWARDS.

IT WASN'T SO BAD.

AH, THAT'S BECAUSE

YOU'VE NEVER TRIED
GOING WITHOUT YOU BEFORE.

YEAH, WELL, I WOULDN'T
MIND GOING WITHOUT ME

AS LONG AS YOU WERE THERE.

YEAH, UM... I HAD A GREAT TIME.

YEAH. SO DID I.

AND I WANT TO THANK YOU.

NO, NO. I WANT TO THANK YOU.

TONIGHT WAS...

WELL, ACTUALLY, THE LAST
COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN...

A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME.

YOU HAVE SUCH A GREAT ENERGY.

I WORK OUT.

SO, ARE YOU ENJOYING THE JOB?

WELL, THE WORD AROUND
THE WATER COOLER IS

I'M UP FOR EMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH.

AM I STILL ON THE CLOCK?

NO.

GOOD. BECAUSE... I'M
GONNA DO SOMETHING

THAT'S VERY UNLIKE ME.

DOES IT INVOLVE KISSING ME?

THAT'S THE BULK OF IT.

PETE, MY LIFE IS A LOT MORE
COMPLICATED THAN YOU THINK.

ARE YOU MARRIED?

NOT ANYMORE.

ARE YOU SEEING SOMEONE?

NOT YET.

WHO'S SHE?

MY LOVER.

I'M JUST KIDDING YOU.

SHE'S MY NANNY.

HI.

HI, MICHAEL.

AND THAT WOULD BE..

MY SON.

NOT KIDDING.

OH.

OK. IT'S COMING ALONG.

I CALLED CAMBRIDGE HIGH AND
GOT MY 12 DRUMMERS DRUMMING.

I SPOKE TO THE BALLET AND
GOT MY 10 LORDS A-LEAPING.

WAIT. WHERE ARE YOU
GONNA GET 4 CALLING BIRDS,

3 FRENCH HENS, 2 TURTLE
DOVES, AND A PARTRIDGE?

10 PIGEONS OFF MY LEDGE.

HEY, MR. MAN ABOUT TOWN.

HOW'D IT GO AT THE
AWARDS LAST NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S
GONNA WORK OUT

WITH ME AND KAITLIN.

SHE LOST, HUH?

NO. NO, NO.

SHE'S GOT A 10-YEAR-OLD SON.

I CAN BARELY MAINTAIN
A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP.

WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT
DEALING WITH KIDS?

YOU LIVED WITH ME FRESHMAN YEAR.

IT'S TOO COMPLICATED.

I GOT ENOUGH THINGS IN MY
OWN LIFE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE'S
THE PIZZA PLACE

AND, UH... OF COURSE,
THE LOUNGING AROUND.

Sharon: COME ON,
BERG, LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE'S MAKING A
RESPONSIBLE DECISION.

HE WOULDN'T JUST
BE DATING KAITLIN.

HE'D BE DATING HER KID, TOO.

AND SPEAKING FROM A CHILD
WHOSE MOTHER DATED A LOT,

IT'S REALLY HARD.

THANK YOU, SHARON.

EXCEPT I DID GET A
LOT OF GREAT GIFTS.

ESPECIALLY FROM THE ONESWHO
THOUGHT I DIDN'TLIKE THEM.

SHARON. 2 PONIES.

SHARON!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

OH, HEY, BOB.

YOU DO? HOW MANY?

OH, OK. JUST KEEP THEM THERE.

OH, GOD. I JUST GOT A HOT TIP

ON A FAMILY OF PIPERS.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE
BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

CHING! CHING! CHING!

HERE YOU GO, MR. HARRISON.

THE USUAL...

A SLICE WITH EVERYTHING,
NOTHING TOUCHING.

SEND IT BACK TWICE. STILL WRONG.

THE GINGER ALE'S FLAT.

YEAH. WHY DO YOU COME HERE

BECAUSE I WANT TO.

AND IF YOU GIVE ME
ANY MORE TROUBLE,

I'M GONNA CALL MY GRANDSON...
ALL-STATE WRESTLER.

HE'S GONNA COME DOWN HERE
AND KICK YOUR LANKY BUTT.

BUTT? IN CASE YOU
HAVEN'T NOTICED,

I DON'T HAVE A BUTT.

HI, PETE.

KAITLIN.

PETE, BERG, THIS IS MICHAEL.

HEY, MICHAEL. HI, MICHAEL.

YOU WANNA PLAY SOME PINBALL?

I NEED TO TALK TO PETE.

SURE.

WHAT'S UP?

I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
TO YOU FOR LAST NIGHT.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS A
REALLY AWKWARD WAY

FOR YOU TO FIND OUT I HAD A SON.

WHAT, THAT? NO, NO.
I WAS EMBARRASSED.

I HAVE THE SAME PAJAMAS.

I WOULD'VE TOLD YOU EARLIER.

I JUST... I DIDN'T THINK
OUR RELATIONSHIP

WOULD GET TO
WHERE IT DID SO SOON.

NOT REALLY. IT'S OK.

SO ANYWAY, IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT,

GIVE ME A CALL SOMETIME.

OK.

COME ON, MICHAEL.

WE'RE GOING TO MRS. SEALANDER'S.

HEY, HEY. HE COULD STAY
HERE WITH US IF HE WANTS.

OH. OH, YEAH. THAT'D BE GREAT.

PLEASE, MOM?

I DON'T KNOW.

PLEASE?

PETE, IS IT OK WITH YOU?

SURE, IT IS. PETE LOVES KIDS.

OK THEN. UH, IF
THERE'S ANY PROBLEMS,

YOU'VE GOT MY CELL PHONE NUMBER.

I'LL BE BACK RIGHT
AFTER RUSH HOUR.

UM, MICHAEL, ACT HUMAN.

BYE.

SEE YA.

SO, WHAT DO YOU AND
PETE WANNA DO FIRST?

WELL, I'M GONNA GO PLAY PINBALL

WHILE HE LEAVES ME ALONE.

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
TO STAY HERE WITH US.

YOU SAID IT WOULD BE GREAT.

THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE

MRS. SEALANDER'S
APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE FEET.

OH, HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU AT ALL.

WHY IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

BECAUSE I CAN'T
LET YOULOSE KAITLIN

WITHOUT AT LEAST
GIVING IT A CHANCE.

BUT IT'S NOT...
NO, NO, NO. LOOK.

IF YOU GET TO KNOW THE KID,

MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE HIM.

THIS MACHINE SUCKS!

YOU SHOULD TASTE THE PIZZA.

DADDY, COULD I PLEASE
HAVE ONE MORE RIDE?

UH, IT'S GETTING DARK.

PLEASE.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

HOW CAN I SAY NO TO THAT FACE?

WHICH ONE'S YOURS?

OH, THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.

PETE, DID YOU SEE ME?

I CAUGHT MORE AIR THAN YOU DID.

YOU ARE THE MAN. YOU
TOTALLY OUT-AIRED ME.

PETE! JUST ONE MORE
RUN.JUST ONE MORE.

HE'S MINE, TOO.

PLEASE! PLEASE!

OK, OK. OK. ALL RIGHT.

BUT LISTEN, ONE MORE TIME.

THEN I PROMISED YOUR MOM
I'D GET YOU HOME BEFORE DARK.

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD
TIME, AREN'T YOU, PETE?

MAYBE. GOOD.

I SPOIL THE BIG ONE.

I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTING
US USE YOUR FARM TO SLED.

IT'S GREAT.

AW, NO PROBLEM.

I DO IT EVERY YEAR
FOR THE KIDS...

AND THE $7.00 I
CHARGE FOR PARKING.

[MICHAEL AND BERG WHOOPING]

HEY! THE LITTLE ONE'S
HEADING FOR MY COWS!

Michael: AAH!

MICHAEL! MICHAEL, WATCH OUT!

BESSIE!

[THUD]

[COW BELLOWS]

DOES IT HURT HERE?

[WINCING] YEAH.

YEAH? OK.

HOW ABOUT HERE?

A LITTLE.

AND HERE?

[STUFFED] NO.

ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX.

PETE, CAN I TALK TO YOU

IN THE FRONT SEAT FOR A SECOND?

IS HE REALLY GOING TO BE OK?

YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS A
COUPLE OF BRUISED RIBS,

BUT WE WON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ELSE UNTIL WE SEE THE X-RAYS.

POOR LITTLE FELLA.

YOU DID SEE THE SIGN
RELEASING ME FROM ALL LIABILITY?

Michael: AM I GONNA DIE?

NO. NO.

YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
YOU'RE A TOUGH KID.

IT'S THE COW THAT
WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT.

YOU KNOCKED THE
BUTTER RIGHT OUT OF HER.

OW. DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

I'M SORRY. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

RIGHT, BUDDY?

LISTEN, IF IT
STARTS TO FEEL BAD,

I WANT YOU TO
SQUEEZE MY HAND, OK?

WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL HIS MOM.

GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

PETE?

WHAT?

YOU'RE SQUEEZING
A LITTLE TOO HARD.

OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

AND TRAFFIC IS BUMPER-TO-BUMPER

ON THE WORCHESTER TURNPIKE

BECAUSE OF A 4-CAR
FENDER BENDER.

SO IF YOU WANNA MAKE
IT HOME BY NEW YEAR'S,

AVOID THE WORCHESTER PIKE.

OK, PHIL, BACK TO YOU.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

KAITLIN RUSH.

HI, KAITLIN. IT'S PETE.

HEY. IS EVERYTHING OK?

OH, YEAH. FINE, FINE, FINE.

LISTEN, UM, FIRST THING...
MICHAEL IS FINE, OK?

WE WENT SLEDDING, AND
WE HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT.

MOM? I HIT A COW.

Kaitlin: WHAT?!

DON'T WORRY. THE COW'S INSURED.

OH, MY GOD. WHERE
ARE YOU TAKING HIM?

BOSTON MEMORIAL.

LISTEN, TRAFFIC IS REALLY
BACKED UP OUT THERE.

WHICH WAY SHOULD I GO?

DAMN. I'M ABOUT TO
GET BACK ON THE AIR.

LISTEN, WHATEVER
I SAY ON THE RADIO,

DO THE OPPOSITE. GOT IT?

DO THE OPPOSITE. GOT IT.

OK. THIS IS KAITLIN RUSH

GETTING YOU THROUGH
THE RUSH HOUR.

LET'S HAND IT TO
THOSE STATE POLICE

FOR THEIR MIRACULOUSLY
FAST CLEANUP

OF THAT 4-CAR
WORCHESTER PIKE PILEUP.

WAY TO GO, GUYS.

EVERYONE SHOULD GO THAT WAY,

ESPECIALLY SINCE
THERE LOOKS TO BE

A NEW 20-CAR PILEUP.

BUT THIS ONE'S ON THE
MASSACHUSETTS TURNPIKE.

[CAR RADIO] I'M OVERHEAD,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF
THE TRUCKS DOWN THERE

WAS CARRYING... ANGRY BEES.

THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

SO WHATEVER YOU DO,

TAKE THE WORCHESTER PIKE

AND STAY OFF THE MASS PIKE.

THANK YOU, KAITLIN.

COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES,

WE'RE TAKING THE
WORCHESTER PIKE.

THAT TRAFFIC
THING WAS BRILLIANT.

THANKS.

I'M JUST GONNA SIT WITH HIM.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE OUTSIDE.

IS SHE OK?

YEAH.

HOW ABOUT YOU? YOU OK?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

I'M SORRY.

SHARON WAS RIGHT.

GETTING INVOLVED WITH
A WOMAN WHO HAS A KID

IS A VERY, VERY BIG DEAL.

BERG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THE KID SEEMS TO
REALLY LIKE YOU.

I REALLY LIKE THAT KID.

THEN DON'T GO BACK IN THERE.

WHAT?

I'M JUST SAYING, IF YOU
STOPPED SEEING KAITLIN,

NO ONE WOULD BLAME YOU.

SHE'S FANTASTIC, YOU KNOW?

AND I DON'T WANNA
HAVE TO STOP SEEING HER.

[SIGH]

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

ME?

I'D RUN FOR THE HILLS SO FAST.

Nurse: BERGEN.

THERE YOU ARE.

HELLO, NURSE HAVERSHAM.

I WAS JUST GOING
OVER THE WEEK'S LOGS,

AND YOU FORGOT TO
SIGN OUT MR. HARRISON.

UH, NO, NO. WHOEVER
WAS ON DUTY AT THE TIME

SHOULD HAVE SIGNED HIM OUT

WHEN HIS DAUGHTER PICKED HIM UP.

HE DOESN'T HAVE A DAUGHTER.

YES, HE DOES. SHE'S A LAWYER.

AND HIS GRANDSON'S
GONNA KICK MY LANKY BUTT.

ACCORDING TO
THIS, HE HAS NOBODY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHO IS IT?

Berg: PIZZA.

PIZZA?

I DIDN'T ORDER A PIZZA.

HELLO, MR. HARRISON.HOW...

WHAT KIND OF PIZZA?

IT'S YOUR FAVORITE...

EVERYTHING ON IT,
NOTHING TOUCHING.

I SUPPOSE NOW YOU WANNA COME IN.

NO, NOT REALLY.

BUT I WILL.

OK, YOU BIG LOSER.

[HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY
LITTLE CHRISTMAS PLAYING]

[NEEDLE SCRATCHES ACROSS RECORD]

[HORNS HONKING]

[COOING]

[HONK HONK]

IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T MOVE,

I'M GONNA HAVE AN
OFFICE IN THE BASEMENT!

[COOING]

SHUT UP, YOU FLYING RATS!

[CRYING]

I HATE CHRISTMAS.

COME ON, SHAR, IT'S YOUR TURN.

NO.

WILL YOU CHEER UP?

WE BOUGHT YOU A NICE PRESENT

WITH PETE'S MONEY.

NOW COME ON.

COME ON, SHARON. ONE RUN.

ONE RUN.

OK. ONE RUN.

YEAH! WHOO!

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY, GUYS.

NO MORE SLEDDING.

Sharon: WHOO-HOO!

WHOO-HOO! WHOO!

SHE'S HEADING
STRAIGHT FOR THE COWS.

THOSE AREN'T COWS.

I JUST LET OUT THE BULLS.

SHARON!

SHARON! RUN!

OK. LOSE THE RED SCARF!

DON'T WAVE IT!

[BULL BELLOWS]

[THUD]

OW! OW! OW!

[MOOO!]

[THUD]

OW! OW! OW!