Tuca & Bertie (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
- ♪ Tuca and Bertie, Tuca and Bertie ♪
- ♪ Bertie and Tuca ♪
♪ And Tuca and Bertie,
Tuca and Bertie ♪
♪ Tu-Tu-Tuca ♪
- ♪ Tuca ♪
- ♪ And Bertie. ♪
Vocalizing...
(inhales)
(Exhales)
Good morning, sweety-tooks.
(Gulps) Mmm!
Thanks for the b-fast, b-friend.
Oops, I got to run.
I'm late.
Have a good day at work.
Love you.
(Smooching)
Love you!
(Ducks quacking)
- (Deep quack)
- If you look to your left,
you'll see the majestic
goobleyheim museum.
Built in 1919,
the year people stopped
giving a (bleep)
When (bleep) Was built.
(laughs) Boring!
Let's talk Tuca!
- (Air horn sounding)
- (tourists cheering)
To your right,
you'll see the remains
of parakeet park,
where I used to give out
- unsolicited haircuts.
- Tourists: Wow.
Of course, that was before
tropical storm pantalones.
I named her myself.
Also, I will be giving
all of you haircuts later.
- (Whoops)
- Yeah.
Can I get bangs?
You're all getting bangs.
Consider this the bang boat.
- (Tourists cheering)
- Yay! Bang boat!
(Quacking)
Ahoy! If you look yonder,
you'll see the most interesting
place in bird town.
My apartment building.
- Tourists: Ooh!
- Yah, ducky, yah!
- (Quacks)
- (car alarm sounding)
Now we're gonna hang out with
my friend Bertie for a while.
Uh, hi, everyone.
Just getting
some work done here.
You don't need to explain
yourself to them, Bertie.
Oh, it's okay, I don't mind.
I'm just listing my baking
business on the yack app.
The one-stop shop
for telling businesses
how much you love 'em.
Ooh, I already got
my first yack review.
Uh, let's see.
Hmm, that's not really...
Ooh, another one.
Okay.
Can you believe people used
to live like this?
- Hey!
- Whoa!
Hey, everyone.
I-I didn't know there would be
a whole tour group in here.
(Chuckling)
I specifically told you not
to be around right now.
Whoops, I just happen to be
carrying this casserole dish.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
(laughter)
No, don't laugh at that.
Way too broad.
I prefer my humor to be
much more sophisticated.
(Farts, laughs)
Ah, ready for my ribbon cutting?
Yep, let's go.
I know what happens
when a ribbon isn't cut
before beginning construction.
Ghosts happen, Bertie.
Mean ones.
[♪ ♪]
this was the site
where I renovated my home.
A real fixer-upper.
But the flood washed
all that hard work away.
(Groans)
(Whispers):
Keep it together, speckle.
(Exhales)
Then I realized
the thing
that needs fixing-upping
is bird town.
We've all seen
how the flood has exacerbated
our city's housing crisis.
Those tents are unsightly.
We need to sweep these streets.
Shut up, you rich nimby jerk.
- What?
- Have some freakin' compassion.
- (Phone rings)
- (stammers)
What's that,
I'm getting a huge settlement
from that time
a bus ran over my dingus?
Put it all on stocks.
Hey, those tents are unsightly!
We need to sweep these streets.
So I sold my land back
to the city.
And they approved my bid
for an apartment complex
dedicated to affordable housing.
Because when life
gives you lemons,
you take those lemons,
you dip them in brown sugar,
sear them until caramelized,
you zest the rinds,
and then serve them
as a garnish...
(clears throat)
Or lemonade.
You-you can make lemonade, too.
I helped him write
that part of his speech.
Wowza! What a scoop.
[♪ ♪]
snip, snip!
(laughs)
(Crowd clapping)
(Smooches)
Speckle, that was great.
Right? I can't believe it.
And tomorrow night I'm being
honored at the architects' gala.
And you're a gal-a who has-a
sold the muffins-es-a.
Well, only one.
The rest got burnt
while I was figuring out
if I'm a c corp or a b corp.
Well, you're an a-plus corp
in my book.
Speckle, I'm just excited
to be your plus-one.
[♪ ♪]
Tuca, I'm so excited
to be your plus-one!
Really? It's just a work mixer,
but okay.
I'm excited that you're excited
about this thing
that I'm not that excited about.
It's weird being employed
at one job for this long.
I even had to take
a sexual harassment course.
That's how I met figgy.
Welcome to the sexual
harassment seminar.
We'll be covering professional
boundaries in the workplace.
I guess you're
my only attendee today.
Yep.
It's just you and me alone
in this room,
discussing inappropriate,
hr-forbidden
workplace behavior.
(Both moaning)
I want to climb up you
and eat all your fruit
and build a (bleep) Tree house
in your head.
- Ooh. Yeah.
- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
I learned nothing, Bertie.
- Nothing!
- Hot.
Oh, a new yack review.
Wait.
Sweet beak sucks.
I ordered a blueberry muffin,
but the berries were purple.
One star!
"Thank you for your feedback.
Please call me at the following
number to discuss further."
Blend with ice,
soda, no alcohol.
Top with a twist from any fruit.
(chuckles)
I'm easy.
And serve with a silly straw.
Extra silly.
There she is!
Our terrific toucan!
The pride of bird town tours.
(laughing)
Her tours make zero sense,
and the tourists love it.
That's what I love
about this job.
I keep doing it
Wilder and stupider,
- but no one has fired me yet.
- Fire you?
You're a keeper.
We're thinking promotion.
A promotion already?
Don't you want to wait to see
if I drown any tourists?
Or teach your ducks jazz?
Oh, tucy, tucy, tucy,
you drive a hard bargain.
But, okay, we'll double it.
- Two promotions.
- Huh?
Come on, I-I gave you
my phone number minutes ago.
- (Phone rings)
- Hello! Oh!
I'm so glad you called
so I can explain
how much I value
customers like you and...
Automated voice: Congratulations,
you have won a great prize.
(Groans)
Bertie, good news.
My boss just made the stupid
mistake of believing in me.
Ha! Let's go pre-spend
all the money I'm gonna make
before he definitely fires me.
Ooh, I want a fun hat.
[♪ ♪]
(sighs)
- Aah!
- ♪ What do you think ♪
♪ Of my deluxe tux ♪
♪ For the gala mañana? ♪
Hmm.
Oh.
Very handsome.
(humming)
(Shouting)
Wow, I have all this cool
work stuff happening,
Tuca's thriving at her new job.
Is it weird for you that Tuca
and I are both doing so great?
Do you think
I'm not doing great?
- Uh...
- Tourist: Ooh!
What's he gonna say next?
Aah!
Oh, a straggler.
All right, get out.
Out! There's a fudge shop
down the street.
Ooh, antiquated confections!
(Sighs)
Bertie, I am...
So sorry.
What I said came out
really wrong.
No, you're right.
Everyone's leveling up
around me.
I'm spending so much energy
baking my business,
I-I feel like I have
no business baking.
Ah, sweetie.
I feel stuck.
Sometimes I compare myself
to people I admire,
like, like...
Chef winter Garcia.
The lady from the pastry box?
(laughs)
She's really into he face.
She's incredible.
Oh, how'd you do it, winter?
How'd you get your product
on every dessert aisle shelf
in bird town?
Will you be my mommy?
Chew up your knowledge
and spit it
down my hot throat
like I'm your baby bird.
Yeah, I think
that's enough cinnamon roll...
Play for now.
I got to take some bigger swings
if I want to get anywhere
with my business, speckle.
But how?
(Grunting)
(Screams)
I freakin' got it.
What if I catered
your gala tomorrow?
But we already have
a caterer booked.
- Call them and cancel.
- Ah, uh...
Do it, speckle. Do the nepotism.
- Okay.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
[♪ ♪]
♪ What are dreams? ♪
♪ Are they simply fantas... ♪
Uh, I'll get right to it.
I'm catering a gala in...
...12 hours, and I need
to hire someone right away.
You would handle
the business side of things,
while I focus
on what I was born to do.
Bake till my booties quake.
Mm, business?
(laughs)
Let's stop it right there, no.
I'm looking
to do more hands-on baking.
Okay, well, sounds like you're
not quite what I'm looking for.
I'm sorry?
(stammers)
I thought you wanted
to hold the door open
for emerging female talent.
But if you want to pull
the ladder up behind you,
instead of sending
the elevator back down
through the glass ceiling
for the next generation...
- Aren't we the same age?
- Ageist, too, I see.
Where's human resources?
Well, thank you, but I'm looking
for someone better positioned
for this role.
Wait, I uplift other women.
I swear.
I'd make a great mentor.
I have tons of experience,
I show up early,
finish late, my greatest flaw
is I'm a "birdfectionist"!
Great, I'm hired.
I'll start around 10:00-ish,
and I need
an extra hour
for my lunch break.
- Okay...
- Self-care time.
Uh... Good.
[♪ ♪]
(ducks quacking)
Welcome to Tuca-Stan.
I see a lot of returning faces.
And a few first-timers.
Who here is a Tuca tour virgin?
Any actual virgins?
- (Baby cooing)
- Nerd alert!
(laughter)
(Baby whimpers)
- (Quacks)
- There she is!
The element most essential
to our success.
(Singsongy):
Tuca!
Wow.
- Ooh, yes, yes!
- (cheering, clamoring)
(laughs)
Nah!
- I'm not essential.
- You sure are.
With all the new business
you're bringing in.
Guys, when you find
a basket like Tuca,
you'd better put
all your eggs in it.
(laughs, whoops)
He's kidding.
He's gonna fire me
any minute now,
just like all my bosses
at every job I've ever had.
As if! I depend on you, Tuca.
I just took out a huge loan
to buy five more duck boats.
Also, one of the duck boats
is real sick,
so I took out another huge loan
- to pay his medical expenses.
- (coughing, wheezing)
No! Why would you do that?
Anyways,
I staked my whole future
on you, Tuca.
And if you let me down,
I'm ruined.
Have fun out there.
Enjoy the tour, everyone.
- (laughs)
- (quacking)
(Coughing)
(laughs, whoops)
No pressure.
(All gasp)
Uh...
Tuca, can you save us, please?!
(laughs)
Butt.
I'm Tuca.
I'm distracted
because I'm unreliable,
and no one should trust me.
(Crying)
Hello? Are you gonna tell us
about more stuff?
Why do you all trust me
to guide you?
A baby could do a better job.
- (Baby cooing)
- (Tuca panting)
Yah, ducky, yah!
(Coughing, wheezing)
Hey, Tyler, thanks for...
Taking care of that.
But maybe you could try
following the frosting pattern.
Stop micromanaging me!
- (Crying)
- Okay, yeah.
- Of course.
- (knocking)
Hello, we're with
the internal revenue service.
Are you Bertie songthrush?
Uh... Yes.
Hey, what are you doing?
You did not file
your bird town business tax,
so we must confiscate
your pastries into our bellies.
What?
I-I didn't even get a warning!
Error... I personally
called you several times.
Congratulations,
you have won a great prize.
The prize of being audited
by the IRS.
Hello? Hello? Why do they
always hang up on me?
- (Gulping)
- Tyler?
I asked you to file that
business tax thing this morning.
(Mouth full):
Sorry. Mmm.
This is so good.
What?!
They ate all the pastries?
Bertie, are you serious?!
You know what this means?!
This means it's fine.
(laughs)
Not like...
I promised the investors
tasty treats!
They hate liars, Bertie.
But I can explain it
in a nice way.
And I'm sure their lawyers will
milk me for every cent!
I'm ruined!
This is bad, Bertie!
This will really dick
everything up!
But that's okay, it's okay.
'Cause it's okay.
Speckle, I'm so sorry, okay?
I-I'm gonna fix it.
You just focus
on being the best damn architect
in the world, okay?
Don't worry.
(Entry bell dings)
(Entry bell dings)
What do I do now? I'm bored.
Here, play this baking game.
♪ Make those treats. ♪
Hey, Bertie, I was just...
Look, Tuca, I hired an employee.
No, get out.
I can immediately see
what's going on here.
Bertie, blink twice
if this lady sucks.
Ah, you got me.
I'm terrible.
(laughs)
♪ I suckity-suck. ♪
God, she sucked so bad.
She sucked all of the suckies
out of the...
(sighs)
Tuca, thanks.
At least you look as hot
as a steering wheel in July.
- Damn, Bertie.
- Aah, the gala.
I have to finish up
getting ready.
(Muffled):
Tuca, why are you home so early?
Aren't you supposed
to be at work?
Yep, I'm just being Tuca.
The sabotage is coming
from inside the house.
You're still seeing figgy
tonight, right?
Um...
Help me! Falling in love
with a careless toucan was
a deadly mistake!
Nope, I'm blowing off
my boyfriend
just like I did with my job.
Double blow-off, baby!
(Whoops)
Yeah!
Instead I'm going to crash
speckle's fancy party.
♪ I'm not invited,
but I'm showing up anyway. ♪
Yah!
Okay.
(Quacking)
- (lively chatter)
- (piano music playing)
(Quacks)
Hey!
Look at me, I'm unemployable,
undependable, professionally
and romantically unviable.
Hey, I'm so glad
Tuca could make it.
I think she's going through
some stuff right now.
(Tuca laughing)
She'll talk when she's ready.
(Sighs)
They're not totally original,
but at least I gave
chef winter Garcia's
pastries a little zhuzh.
Oh, my god!
Chef winter Garcia is here?!
Oh, wow!
That's the thing
about fancy galas.
You never know what kind of
swanky people are gonna show up.
Mommy.
No! Oh!
This is so messed up.
(Spits)
Oh, god, let me vanish, please.
Hey, don't worry.
People love the tasty treats,
Bertie.
Look at all those
happy investors.
Mmm.
I should go say hi.
- Want to come with?
- No.
They don't want to talk to me.
- You go mingle.
- Yeah.
I guess everyone here
just wants to network
with important,
successful people.
I mean, if you had your own gala
celebrating you,
I'm sure they'd be interested.
I mean, not "if."
"When" you have you own gala.
Uh, you know, that's...
(whooping)
He stepped in it again.
How's he gonna get
out of this one?
Okay, how about you head
back to your hotel?
Ooh, yes!
I love flying thousands of miles
to sleep in a big bed.
Eh, tourists.
- That's a fine puff you're poking there.
- (gasps)
Chestnut extract did enhance
the flavor.
But you could have
also gone almond.
Oh, well, what about
a bit of bourbon?
(Whoops) Now you're speaking
my native tongue.
Not literally...
That'd be bird chirps.
(Chirping)
My bird chirps are
rusty, but, um...
(squawking)
(laughs)
I thought you hated what I did.
I saw you spit it out.
I'm a pastry expert.
It's like being a sommelier.
I have to spit it out,
or else I'd live
my life pastry drunk.
- Bertie songthrush, right?
- Yes!
And you used to work
for... Pastry Pete.
- Oh, uh...
- Oof.
But, hey, now you've started
your own bakery.
- Sweet beak, right?
- Yes.
I've eaten your work.
You put so much
of yourself into it.
In a way, I've also eaten you.
And I like you. You're good.
Oh, my god, is this a dream?
Am I actually in bed peeing
tiny little drops of pee?
(laughs)
Listen.
My winter snacks pastries
are flying off the shelves
of every grocery outlet
in bird town.
They're selling
like hot cakes, frozen cakes,
and shelf-stable,
room-temperature cakes.
But like a soufflé
in a pizza oven,
I'm afraid
we're expanding too fast.
I need a smart cookie to help
come up with new pastry ideas
while I handle
the business side.
(Gasps)
"smart cookie," there's an idea.
- Should I write it down?
- I already wrote down
your smart cookie idea
and built on it.
Popular cookie, emo cookie,
cookie who's still in
the process of finding itself.
(laughs)
Wonderful, but let me finish.
If you work for me,
I need you to be all in.
- No more sweet beak.
- Oh.
But, well, I-I always wanted
to run my own bakery.
And you did, and now
that you know what that's like,
maybe you'd like
to do this other thing.
Look, sometimes
as you get older,
all you can see are
the doors closing.
But here is an open door.
Don't get hemmed in by
the dreams you had in your 20s.
That's the advice
I'd give myself at your age.
Think on it.
(Sighs)
- [♪ ♪]
- (laughing)
Forward, forward, side, ha!
Forward, forward,
side, ha!
Thank you for safely guiding us
through these dance moves.
Uh...
- (dramatic music playing)
- (faint screaming)
Don't follow me!
Trusting me
with any responsibility
is a path to disappointment
and destruction.
Do your own thing!
All right, yeah.
I'm gonna do
a side, side, forward...
Ow!
(crying)
Oh, no!
Oh, we are all doomed!
(Quacking)
(Shouting, clamoring)
Oh, no, this is real bad!
Boss, what are you doing here?
Tuca, I was cleaning up
after a tour,
when they all went nuts
searching
for their little friend.
Everyone knows ducks are
pack animals!
Just sick, vicious beasts!
I'm sorry I abandoned
the tourists on a boat.
But that's just what I do...
I'm Tuca!
(Crying)
- Mm, mm, mm.
- Quack, quack, quack.
- Sup?
- Bertie-ertie!
I knew this would happen.
This is why I should never
say yes to anything.
I let everyone down
just like I always do.
You've never let me down.
- Really?
- No, actually...
You've let me down a lot,
but it's okay.
You know, we all screw up.
I almost totally beefed it
on catering this party.
Oh, my god, Tuca, you're
not gonna prevent bad stuff
by saying no to any good stuff
that comes your way.
Leveling up is scary, but it's
not as scary as never trying.
Isn't it better
to take the leap?
Yeah, you know what?
I will take that job.
I thought this was
a pep talk for me.
Oh, right, yeah... Tuca,
you are so good
at guiding people.
That's true.
I just guided you to an epiphany
without even trying.
- I'm amazing.
- Lawrie: I second that notion.
I know I messed
everything up today.
But I want my job back.
Well, you actually helped me
with one little thing.
You cured my duck of his illness
by taking him out of the water.
Turns out he was just seasick.
- (Sneezes)
- Aah!
This is dry-clean only!
Ah, it's okay.
It's fine.
I'm willing to give you
another chance.
I guess I don't get that double
promotion anymore, do I?
No, now you just get
the single promotion.
I accept the consequences
of my actions.
(Sighs)
(Shouting)
I...
Accept your proposal.
Great, we'll get to work soon.
For now, enjoy the party.
(Exhales)
Okay.
(Exhales)
Come on, guys, this way.
(Grunting)
Follow me.
(Grunts)
Yes, I said follow me.
No, for real, follow me, follow.
[♪ ♪]
(crying):
Oh, it's so beautiful!
- I agree.
- (wailing)
(Dogs barking)
- ♪ Bertie and Tuca ♪
♪ And Tuca and Bertie,
Tuca and Bertie ♪
♪ Tu-Tu-Tuca ♪
- ♪ Tuca ♪
- ♪ And Bertie. ♪
Vocalizing...
(inhales)
(Exhales)
Good morning, sweety-tooks.
(Gulps) Mmm!
Thanks for the b-fast, b-friend.
Oops, I got to run.
I'm late.
Have a good day at work.
Love you.
(Smooching)
Love you!
(Ducks quacking)
- (Deep quack)
- If you look to your left,
you'll see the majestic
goobleyheim museum.
Built in 1919,
the year people stopped
giving a (bleep)
When (bleep) Was built.
(laughs) Boring!
Let's talk Tuca!
- (Air horn sounding)
- (tourists cheering)
To your right,
you'll see the remains
of parakeet park,
where I used to give out
- unsolicited haircuts.
- Tourists: Wow.
Of course, that was before
tropical storm pantalones.
I named her myself.
Also, I will be giving
all of you haircuts later.
- (Whoops)
- Yeah.
Can I get bangs?
You're all getting bangs.
Consider this the bang boat.
- (Tourists cheering)
- Yay! Bang boat!
(Quacking)
Ahoy! If you look yonder,
you'll see the most interesting
place in bird town.
My apartment building.
- Tourists: Ooh!
- Yah, ducky, yah!
- (Quacks)
- (car alarm sounding)
Now we're gonna hang out with
my friend Bertie for a while.
Uh, hi, everyone.
Just getting
some work done here.
You don't need to explain
yourself to them, Bertie.
Oh, it's okay, I don't mind.
I'm just listing my baking
business on the yack app.
The one-stop shop
for telling businesses
how much you love 'em.
Ooh, I already got
my first yack review.
Uh, let's see.
Hmm, that's not really...
Ooh, another one.
Okay.
Can you believe people used
to live like this?
- Hey!
- Whoa!
Hey, everyone.
I-I didn't know there would be
a whole tour group in here.
(Chuckling)
I specifically told you not
to be around right now.
Whoops, I just happen to be
carrying this casserole dish.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
(laughter)
No, don't laugh at that.
Way too broad.
I prefer my humor to be
much more sophisticated.
(Farts, laughs)
Ah, ready for my ribbon cutting?
Yep, let's go.
I know what happens
when a ribbon isn't cut
before beginning construction.
Ghosts happen, Bertie.
Mean ones.
[♪ ♪]
this was the site
where I renovated my home.
A real fixer-upper.
But the flood washed
all that hard work away.
(Groans)
(Whispers):
Keep it together, speckle.
(Exhales)
Then I realized
the thing
that needs fixing-upping
is bird town.
We've all seen
how the flood has exacerbated
our city's housing crisis.
Those tents are unsightly.
We need to sweep these streets.
Shut up, you rich nimby jerk.
- What?
- Have some freakin' compassion.
- (Phone rings)
- (stammers)
What's that,
I'm getting a huge settlement
from that time
a bus ran over my dingus?
Put it all on stocks.
Hey, those tents are unsightly!
We need to sweep these streets.
So I sold my land back
to the city.
And they approved my bid
for an apartment complex
dedicated to affordable housing.
Because when life
gives you lemons,
you take those lemons,
you dip them in brown sugar,
sear them until caramelized,
you zest the rinds,
and then serve them
as a garnish...
(clears throat)
Or lemonade.
You-you can make lemonade, too.
I helped him write
that part of his speech.
Wowza! What a scoop.
[♪ ♪]
snip, snip!
(laughs)
(Crowd clapping)
(Smooches)
Speckle, that was great.
Right? I can't believe it.
And tomorrow night I'm being
honored at the architects' gala.
And you're a gal-a who has-a
sold the muffins-es-a.
Well, only one.
The rest got burnt
while I was figuring out
if I'm a c corp or a b corp.
Well, you're an a-plus corp
in my book.
Speckle, I'm just excited
to be your plus-one.
[♪ ♪]
Tuca, I'm so excited
to be your plus-one!
Really? It's just a work mixer,
but okay.
I'm excited that you're excited
about this thing
that I'm not that excited about.
It's weird being employed
at one job for this long.
I even had to take
a sexual harassment course.
That's how I met figgy.
Welcome to the sexual
harassment seminar.
We'll be covering professional
boundaries in the workplace.
I guess you're
my only attendee today.
Yep.
It's just you and me alone
in this room,
discussing inappropriate,
hr-forbidden
workplace behavior.
(Both moaning)
I want to climb up you
and eat all your fruit
and build a (bleep) Tree house
in your head.
- Ooh. Yeah.
- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
I learned nothing, Bertie.
- Nothing!
- Hot.
Oh, a new yack review.
Wait.
Sweet beak sucks.
I ordered a blueberry muffin,
but the berries were purple.
One star!
"Thank you for your feedback.
Please call me at the following
number to discuss further."
Blend with ice,
soda, no alcohol.
Top with a twist from any fruit.
(chuckles)
I'm easy.
And serve with a silly straw.
Extra silly.
There she is!
Our terrific toucan!
The pride of bird town tours.
(laughing)
Her tours make zero sense,
and the tourists love it.
That's what I love
about this job.
I keep doing it
Wilder and stupider,
- but no one has fired me yet.
- Fire you?
You're a keeper.
We're thinking promotion.
A promotion already?
Don't you want to wait to see
if I drown any tourists?
Or teach your ducks jazz?
Oh, tucy, tucy, tucy,
you drive a hard bargain.
But, okay, we'll double it.
- Two promotions.
- Huh?
Come on, I-I gave you
my phone number minutes ago.
- (Phone rings)
- Hello! Oh!
I'm so glad you called
so I can explain
how much I value
customers like you and...
Automated voice: Congratulations,
you have won a great prize.
(Groans)
Bertie, good news.
My boss just made the stupid
mistake of believing in me.
Ha! Let's go pre-spend
all the money I'm gonna make
before he definitely fires me.
Ooh, I want a fun hat.
[♪ ♪]
(sighs)
- Aah!
- ♪ What do you think ♪
♪ Of my deluxe tux ♪
♪ For the gala mañana? ♪
Hmm.
Oh.
Very handsome.
(humming)
(Shouting)
Wow, I have all this cool
work stuff happening,
Tuca's thriving at her new job.
Is it weird for you that Tuca
and I are both doing so great?
Do you think
I'm not doing great?
- Uh...
- Tourist: Ooh!
What's he gonna say next?
Aah!
Oh, a straggler.
All right, get out.
Out! There's a fudge shop
down the street.
Ooh, antiquated confections!
(Sighs)
Bertie, I am...
So sorry.
What I said came out
really wrong.
No, you're right.
Everyone's leveling up
around me.
I'm spending so much energy
baking my business,
I-I feel like I have
no business baking.
Ah, sweetie.
I feel stuck.
Sometimes I compare myself
to people I admire,
like, like...
Chef winter Garcia.
The lady from the pastry box?
(laughs)
She's really into he face.
She's incredible.
Oh, how'd you do it, winter?
How'd you get your product
on every dessert aisle shelf
in bird town?
Will you be my mommy?
Chew up your knowledge
and spit it
down my hot throat
like I'm your baby bird.
Yeah, I think
that's enough cinnamon roll...
Play for now.
I got to take some bigger swings
if I want to get anywhere
with my business, speckle.
But how?
(Grunting)
(Screams)
I freakin' got it.
What if I catered
your gala tomorrow?
But we already have
a caterer booked.
- Call them and cancel.
- Ah, uh...
Do it, speckle. Do the nepotism.
- Okay.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
[♪ ♪]
♪ What are dreams? ♪
♪ Are they simply fantas... ♪
Uh, I'll get right to it.
I'm catering a gala in...
...12 hours, and I need
to hire someone right away.
You would handle
the business side of things,
while I focus
on what I was born to do.
Bake till my booties quake.
Mm, business?
(laughs)
Let's stop it right there, no.
I'm looking
to do more hands-on baking.
Okay, well, sounds like you're
not quite what I'm looking for.
I'm sorry?
(stammers)
I thought you wanted
to hold the door open
for emerging female talent.
But if you want to pull
the ladder up behind you,
instead of sending
the elevator back down
through the glass ceiling
for the next generation...
- Aren't we the same age?
- Ageist, too, I see.
Where's human resources?
Well, thank you, but I'm looking
for someone better positioned
for this role.
Wait, I uplift other women.
I swear.
I'd make a great mentor.
I have tons of experience,
I show up early,
finish late, my greatest flaw
is I'm a "birdfectionist"!
Great, I'm hired.
I'll start around 10:00-ish,
and I need
an extra hour
for my lunch break.
- Okay...
- Self-care time.
Uh... Good.
[♪ ♪]
(ducks quacking)
Welcome to Tuca-Stan.
I see a lot of returning faces.
And a few first-timers.
Who here is a Tuca tour virgin?
Any actual virgins?
- (Baby cooing)
- Nerd alert!
(laughter)
(Baby whimpers)
- (Quacks)
- There she is!
The element most essential
to our success.
(Singsongy):
Tuca!
Wow.
- Ooh, yes, yes!
- (cheering, clamoring)
(laughs)
Nah!
- I'm not essential.
- You sure are.
With all the new business
you're bringing in.
Guys, when you find
a basket like Tuca,
you'd better put
all your eggs in it.
(laughs, whoops)
He's kidding.
He's gonna fire me
any minute now,
just like all my bosses
at every job I've ever had.
As if! I depend on you, Tuca.
I just took out a huge loan
to buy five more duck boats.
Also, one of the duck boats
is real sick,
so I took out another huge loan
- to pay his medical expenses.
- (coughing, wheezing)
No! Why would you do that?
Anyways,
I staked my whole future
on you, Tuca.
And if you let me down,
I'm ruined.
Have fun out there.
Enjoy the tour, everyone.
- (laughs)
- (quacking)
(Coughing)
(laughs, whoops)
No pressure.
(All gasp)
Uh...
Tuca, can you save us, please?!
(laughs)
Butt.
I'm Tuca.
I'm distracted
because I'm unreliable,
and no one should trust me.
(Crying)
Hello? Are you gonna tell us
about more stuff?
Why do you all trust me
to guide you?
A baby could do a better job.
- (Baby cooing)
- (Tuca panting)
Yah, ducky, yah!
(Coughing, wheezing)
Hey, Tyler, thanks for...
Taking care of that.
But maybe you could try
following the frosting pattern.
Stop micromanaging me!
- (Crying)
- Okay, yeah.
- Of course.
- (knocking)
Hello, we're with
the internal revenue service.
Are you Bertie songthrush?
Uh... Yes.
Hey, what are you doing?
You did not file
your bird town business tax,
so we must confiscate
your pastries into our bellies.
What?
I-I didn't even get a warning!
Error... I personally
called you several times.
Congratulations,
you have won a great prize.
The prize of being audited
by the IRS.
Hello? Hello? Why do they
always hang up on me?
- (Gulping)
- Tyler?
I asked you to file that
business tax thing this morning.
(Mouth full):
Sorry. Mmm.
This is so good.
What?!
They ate all the pastries?
Bertie, are you serious?!
You know what this means?!
This means it's fine.
(laughs)
Not like...
I promised the investors
tasty treats!
They hate liars, Bertie.
But I can explain it
in a nice way.
And I'm sure their lawyers will
milk me for every cent!
I'm ruined!
This is bad, Bertie!
This will really dick
everything up!
But that's okay, it's okay.
'Cause it's okay.
Speckle, I'm so sorry, okay?
I-I'm gonna fix it.
You just focus
on being the best damn architect
in the world, okay?
Don't worry.
(Entry bell dings)
(Entry bell dings)
What do I do now? I'm bored.
Here, play this baking game.
♪ Make those treats. ♪
Hey, Bertie, I was just...
Look, Tuca, I hired an employee.
No, get out.
I can immediately see
what's going on here.
Bertie, blink twice
if this lady sucks.
Ah, you got me.
I'm terrible.
(laughs)
♪ I suckity-suck. ♪
God, she sucked so bad.
She sucked all of the suckies
out of the...
(sighs)
Tuca, thanks.
At least you look as hot
as a steering wheel in July.
- Damn, Bertie.
- Aah, the gala.
I have to finish up
getting ready.
(Muffled):
Tuca, why are you home so early?
Aren't you supposed
to be at work?
Yep, I'm just being Tuca.
The sabotage is coming
from inside the house.
You're still seeing figgy
tonight, right?
Um...
Help me! Falling in love
with a careless toucan was
a deadly mistake!
Nope, I'm blowing off
my boyfriend
just like I did with my job.
Double blow-off, baby!
(Whoops)
Yeah!
Instead I'm going to crash
speckle's fancy party.
♪ I'm not invited,
but I'm showing up anyway. ♪
Yah!
Okay.
(Quacking)
- (lively chatter)
- (piano music playing)
(Quacks)
Hey!
Look at me, I'm unemployable,
undependable, professionally
and romantically unviable.
Hey, I'm so glad
Tuca could make it.
I think she's going through
some stuff right now.
(Tuca laughing)
She'll talk when she's ready.
(Sighs)
They're not totally original,
but at least I gave
chef winter Garcia's
pastries a little zhuzh.
Oh, my god!
Chef winter Garcia is here?!
Oh, wow!
That's the thing
about fancy galas.
You never know what kind of
swanky people are gonna show up.
Mommy.
No! Oh!
This is so messed up.
(Spits)
Oh, god, let me vanish, please.
Hey, don't worry.
People love the tasty treats,
Bertie.
Look at all those
happy investors.
Mmm.
I should go say hi.
- Want to come with?
- No.
They don't want to talk to me.
- You go mingle.
- Yeah.
I guess everyone here
just wants to network
with important,
successful people.
I mean, if you had your own gala
celebrating you,
I'm sure they'd be interested.
I mean, not "if."
"When" you have you own gala.
Uh, you know, that's...
(whooping)
He stepped in it again.
How's he gonna get
out of this one?
Okay, how about you head
back to your hotel?
Ooh, yes!
I love flying thousands of miles
to sleep in a big bed.
Eh, tourists.
- That's a fine puff you're poking there.
- (gasps)
Chestnut extract did enhance
the flavor.
But you could have
also gone almond.
Oh, well, what about
a bit of bourbon?
(Whoops) Now you're speaking
my native tongue.
Not literally...
That'd be bird chirps.
(Chirping)
My bird chirps are
rusty, but, um...
(squawking)
(laughs)
I thought you hated what I did.
I saw you spit it out.
I'm a pastry expert.
It's like being a sommelier.
I have to spit it out,
or else I'd live
my life pastry drunk.
- Bertie songthrush, right?
- Yes!
And you used to work
for... Pastry Pete.
- Oh, uh...
- Oof.
But, hey, now you've started
your own bakery.
- Sweet beak, right?
- Yes.
I've eaten your work.
You put so much
of yourself into it.
In a way, I've also eaten you.
And I like you. You're good.
Oh, my god, is this a dream?
Am I actually in bed peeing
tiny little drops of pee?
(laughs)
Listen.
My winter snacks pastries
are flying off the shelves
of every grocery outlet
in bird town.
They're selling
like hot cakes, frozen cakes,
and shelf-stable,
room-temperature cakes.
But like a soufflé
in a pizza oven,
I'm afraid
we're expanding too fast.
I need a smart cookie to help
come up with new pastry ideas
while I handle
the business side.
(Gasps)
"smart cookie," there's an idea.
- Should I write it down?
- I already wrote down
your smart cookie idea
and built on it.
Popular cookie, emo cookie,
cookie who's still in
the process of finding itself.
(laughs)
Wonderful, but let me finish.
If you work for me,
I need you to be all in.
- No more sweet beak.
- Oh.
But, well, I-I always wanted
to run my own bakery.
And you did, and now
that you know what that's like,
maybe you'd like
to do this other thing.
Look, sometimes
as you get older,
all you can see are
the doors closing.
But here is an open door.
Don't get hemmed in by
the dreams you had in your 20s.
That's the advice
I'd give myself at your age.
Think on it.
(Sighs)
- [♪ ♪]
- (laughing)
Forward, forward, side, ha!
Forward, forward,
side, ha!
Thank you for safely guiding us
through these dance moves.
Uh...
- (dramatic music playing)
- (faint screaming)
Don't follow me!
Trusting me
with any responsibility
is a path to disappointment
and destruction.
Do your own thing!
All right, yeah.
I'm gonna do
a side, side, forward...
Ow!
(crying)
Oh, no!
Oh, we are all doomed!
(Quacking)
(Shouting, clamoring)
Oh, no, this is real bad!
Boss, what are you doing here?
Tuca, I was cleaning up
after a tour,
when they all went nuts
searching
for their little friend.
Everyone knows ducks are
pack animals!
Just sick, vicious beasts!
I'm sorry I abandoned
the tourists on a boat.
But that's just what I do...
I'm Tuca!
(Crying)
- Mm, mm, mm.
- Quack, quack, quack.
- Sup?
- Bertie-ertie!
I knew this would happen.
This is why I should never
say yes to anything.
I let everyone down
just like I always do.
You've never let me down.
- Really?
- No, actually...
You've let me down a lot,
but it's okay.
You know, we all screw up.
I almost totally beefed it
on catering this party.
Oh, my god, Tuca, you're
not gonna prevent bad stuff
by saying no to any good stuff
that comes your way.
Leveling up is scary, but it's
not as scary as never trying.
Isn't it better
to take the leap?
Yeah, you know what?
I will take that job.
I thought this was
a pep talk for me.
Oh, right, yeah... Tuca,
you are so good
at guiding people.
That's true.
I just guided you to an epiphany
without even trying.
- I'm amazing.
- Lawrie: I second that notion.
I know I messed
everything up today.
But I want my job back.
Well, you actually helped me
with one little thing.
You cured my duck of his illness
by taking him out of the water.
Turns out he was just seasick.
- (Sneezes)
- Aah!
This is dry-clean only!
Ah, it's okay.
It's fine.
I'm willing to give you
another chance.
I guess I don't get that double
promotion anymore, do I?
No, now you just get
the single promotion.
I accept the consequences
of my actions.
(Sighs)
(Shouting)
I...
Accept your proposal.
Great, we'll get to work soon.
For now, enjoy the party.
(Exhales)
Okay.
(Exhales)
Come on, guys, this way.
(Grunting)
Follow me.
(Grunts)
Yes, I said follow me.
No, for real, follow me, follow.
[♪ ♪]
(crying):
Oh, it's so beautiful!
- I agree.
- (wailing)
(Dogs barking)