True Blood (2008–2014): Season 1, Episode 8 - The Fourth Man in the Fire - full transcript

Sookie is thrilled to learn that Bill wasn't in the fire that killed four people, which included his three vamp friends. Her enthusiasm doesn't sit well with either the customers or her co-workers at Merlotte's Bar. Meanwhile, Jason and his new girlfriend, Amy Burley, are desperate to get more vampire blood for the rush of it. They decide to follow Lafayette to his source, but Amy's actions reveal that she has clearly done this before. Following her exorcism, Lettie Mae is a new person - sober and hard working, she has also become an active member of her church. Tara is pleased with the transformation, but is not happy with her own lot in life and considers an exorcism of her own for her angry and belligerent behavior after lashing out at Sookie and Sam for no reason. Elsewhere, Arlene Fowler asks Sookie to baby sit for her children while she and her fiancée Rene, go out. But Arlene is taken aback when she realizes that Bill will also be spending the evening. Later, Sookie is not pleased when Bill agrees to let Eric, the head of the vampire clan, borrow her for an evening at Fangtasia to use her mind-reading powers to root out a thief.

Sookie, are you okay?
You want some water?


You're sure you found 4 bodies?

- We shouldn't even be telling you this.
- Not now. Not with me.

There's 4 sets of remains
inside four coffins.

Oh, my God.
We can't let you go in there.

If you don't take
your hands off me right now,

I swear to God, I will kill you.

you don't wanna come up here.

Jiminy Christmas.

- That's what happens to vampires?
- Evidently.

Plus, we got three more.

I hope you skipped breakfast.

Did Bud send you up here
to make an ID? 'Cause...

Sookie, you okay?

Synchro: mpm, Arrow

True Blood 1x08
- The Fourth Man In The Fire -

www. sub-way. fr

- Bill Compton.
- To leave a voice message,

press one or just wait...


Mama, it's not even 8.

Good morning, baby.
Did I wake you?

I'm almost done.
Just a couple more loads.

- These are half full.
- Useless to me.

Just fuel for demon fire.

The bottle kept him alive
for 40 years.

As long as I keep the stuff out of my house,
he ain't never coming back.

- Let's see how long you can keep it up.
- Forever.

Gotta be.
I'm down to my last chance.

- You didn't have a drink today?
- Didn't need one. Didn't even want one.

- Is that maple syrup?
- Check the kitchen. I made hoecakes.

Are you serious?

- I haven't had hoecakes since...
- Since your grandmama was alive.

I always could make 'em,
just never did.

The demon never let me.

- You made these with bacon grease.
- It's the only way.

You eat, baby girl.

I got me some more devil juice
to take out.



You are not like anybody
I ever met.

I was just gonna say
the same thing.


It felt like the whole world
came together.

Me, you,

the bed, the house.

- We were all one big giant...
- Organism.

Yeah, mine was huge.

I never knew vamp blood could do
something like this to you.

You know what?

Neither did I. I mean...

I've had V partners before,
but this was...

on a totally different planet.

You're an extraordinary being.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I mean, in some ways, we barely

know each other, right?
But you felt that.

Tell me that that wasn't just me.
We tapped into each other.

No, I felt it. We tapped.

There's something old
and good and wise

deep down in you.
I have to know that person.

Come on, cut it out.

Nobody who knows me
has ever called me wise.

Then nobody really knows you.

Are you blushing?

I don't want you to go.

I was planning on
just burning through,

but if you have a place
for me to crash

then for you,
I might just stick around

- for a little bit.
- Stay.

Stay with me.

I don't wanna ever leave this bed.

Let's just screw
and do V until we starve.

Sure. But, I mean,
let's hold off on the screwing.

I'm a respectable girl.


Did I hurt you?

I'm sorry if I got carried away,
it was just so amazing.

We didn't have sex.

What do you call what we been doin'
for the past six hours?

We were together on V,

deeper than I've ever felt
with anybody ever before.

But physically, we barely touched.

- I promise.
- That's not possible.

Panties still on.

- What... the fuck?
- I told you.

It's better than sex.

Jesus Christ,
what the hell are you doing?

Opith the J.C.
I'm cleanin', what does it look like?

- Watch your feet. I just waxed.
- I hope you mean the floor.

- Can I help you?
- I'm up to my elbows in Easy-Off.

- My mama made me hoecakes this morning.
- So?

She cooked me breakfast.

When's the last time you saw
my mama lift a finger before noon

for anything besides Mad Dog 20/20?

We went into the woods
to get a $445

hoodoo exorcism last night.
You do not wanna get me started

- on that.
- My grandmother's dead.

At least you got someone
to make breakfast for you.

You ever stop thinkin' about
what's happening with others

- before you barge in on them?
- Sorry. I didn't me...

Oh, my God, are those fang marks?

So what? It means someone cared for me
when everyone else left me high and dry.

No wonder you're crazy.
A vampire made a meal of you.

Why am I the only person that doesn't
think vampires are monsters?

They drink our blood.
What's to say Bill won't leave you

- once he's had his fill?
- Do you have any idea

what I've been through today?

- A friend would ask.
- Don't tell me how to be your friend.

- I'm the only one you got, goddamn...
- Lord's name in vain.

- Fuck off.
- Get out of my house!

I've gotten very good at losing people like you.
You are only making it easier for me.

Bitch, I don't even wanna be here.
If you are hell-bent on being alone

in this world,
I ain't gonna stop you.

Oh, man.

I wanna not have sex
with you again so bad,

you don't even know.

I think I got some idea.

But that V that we did
was the last I had.

Where do we score some more?

When we need more,
we'll go out and get it.

Don't be greedy.
We'll be okay for a while.

- Just eat your breakfast.
- You sure you don't want some?

- Pepperoni and sausage.
- No, thank you. I only eat organic.

The cleaner my body is,
the more intensely I feel the V.

Why do you have two televisions
in the same room?

The bottom one's busted. I just
keep it 'cause it was my parents'.

Can I ask you how they died?

- I don't like to talk about it.
- Okay.

It was a flash flood.

They were caught on the bridge
down by the Parish Road

and got swept out in the river.

My little sister and I...

were staying at our gran's
while they went out.

They didn't think I could
look after Sookie by myself,

even though I was almost 11.

Sometimes I think,

if I was a better kid,

they wouldn't have had
to drop us off at gran's.

Then they wouldn't have been
on the bridge at the exact point


So your grandma raised you
after that?

Yeah, I moved back here

when I was 18,

even though gran would have
rather kept an eye on me.

Yeah, she passed too.

Last week.

God, I'm so sorry.


I don't mean to be spillin'.
I never do this.

You never talk about things

with anybody?
You don't talk to your sister?

Least of all her.

She brings out the worst in me.

We had this big fight
after gran died

and I hit her.

I tell you,

I am

the worst brother in the world.

That's ridiculous.

I've seen who you are inside.

I've been there.

And you're good.

Do you hear me?

She's a beauty.
You want it for your office?

We'll put it over the bar.

Drunks like talking
to the animals.

Check it out.

Possum prick.

- Where'd you get that?
- Shot one last week.

It was gonna stuff it but I left it
back out. It got to raining,

then three days later, ain't nothing
left but possum sludge and bones.

I saved this, though.
Possums have a two-pronged penis.

It's supposed to bring good luck.

Terry, let's keep
that story between us.

The girls might get the wrong idea.

- What was you doing out this morning?
- Why?

You wouldn't have been running through
the woods without no clothes on, would you?

- Why would I do that?
- I don't know.

That's why I'm asking.

I was out fishin'
and I could have swore

I saw you blazing buck-naked
through the trees.

It wasn't me.

I was working on my car.

It looked an awful lot like you.

Except you wear clothes.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm seein' things again.

Except usually when I see people
who ain't there, it's...

- It's the insurgents.
- Yeah.

Only this fella I saw,
he didn't look like no insurgent.

But you said he was running,
though, huh?

Plenty of cover in the trees.
How could you tell for sure?

And I believe you saw what you saw.

I just don't know why anyone would
run naked through the woods

- in broad daylight.
- Yeah.

Maybe you're right.


I hate bein' this way.

It's all right, buddy.

Come on.

We're a long way from Fallujah.


Not the neck.

Where the hell is Sookie today?

Here you go, honey.
Sorry it took so long.


All these animals on the wall,
it's like a natural history museum.

- I never noticed them.
- How could you not?

Every one of these animals
lived a life full of experiences

that we can't even imagine.

Does it weird you out?
We could go someplace else.

Everyone has to eat, right?

We're all links
on the universal food chain.

See? Squirrel eats nuts,

snake eats the squirrel,
gator eats the snake.

And we can eat pretty much
anything we want.

It's the circle of life.

Jesus Christ.
I wanna lick your mind.

Let's have lunch first.

Order up.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I know I'm late.

Listen, I heard about the fire.
I'm real, real sorry.

- How you holding up?
- He's alive.

- What?
- Bill.

They said four bodies.
I thought Bill was one of 'em.

- He wasn't?
- He's fine. In fact,

he's wonderful.

- That must be quite a relief for you.
- You have no idea. Anyways,

no need to worry about me.
I'm great.

Sweetie, where you been?
I'm up to my eyeballs in tickets.

You look so beautiful today.

I love you, even if you are
a bigot sometimes.

What's with her?

Bill's alive.

What? But I thought...

I know. So did I.

Order up.

I'm comin'. Hold your horses.

He got my message that something bad
might be brewing, so he figured

- he spent the night in the graveyard.
- Doesn't it get cold out there?

He was in the ground.

So after I couldn't find him,
then hearing about those four bodies

at that burnt-up house, you can imagine
what I was going through.

I mean, that must have been
something terrible.

You don't know.

They said there was three vampires
that come in the other night.

- Who's the fourth body?
- Some fangbanger, they're saying now.

Some vampires like to keep
a human around for sex...

and blood.

I'll get your Cokes.

- I Thought you said "order up".
- I did. New girl took 'em.

New girl?

BLT, cheeseburger, well-done,

fried egg on white, hot wings,

smoked sausage,

tuna melt,

and the chicken fried steak
must be for you.

- Thank you. We've got a four-top open.
- Isn't she something?

- She's with you.
- I know you're pissed at me, but...

I really want you to like her.

Sorry about that.
You looked really swamped

and the natives
were gettin' restless so...

You're Jason's sister, right?

I've heard so much about you.

- Who are you?
- My name's Amy.

- Amy Burley. I'm with Jason.
- With me.

You must be Arlene with the beautiful
red hair. It's so nice to meet you.

How'd you know
all the table numbers?

I waited tables in college
so I just assumed clockwise.

You know, table 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I think the guys at table 5 like you,
'cause they left you a really nice tip.

I think we might have found
a replacement for Dawn.

Looks like you did too.


Don't you touch that, sweetie pie.
Mama'll take care of the laundry.

My goodness. Lettie Mae,
ain't she the spittin' image of you.

That's a compliment.

Tara Mae, you remember
Mable Simpkins, don't you?

- From the church.
- That's right. And why don't we see

- your smiling face there no more?
- 'Cause I stopped goin'.

It's never too late to come back.

Lettie Mae left us for two years
and we welcomed her back today

- like she had never gone.
- I heard the call.

The good Lord said, "Lettie Mae,

"you been away too long.
Your church needs you. "

You should have heard her testify.

The entire congregation
was filled with the spirit.

Yeah, I bet she was full of it.

- Your mama's an inspiration to us all.
- Glory to God.

Girl, why don't you come
to Bible group on Tuesday?

Got plenty of nice young men
and fruit punch.

A little religion do you
a world of good, baby girl.

Shit. Are you even listening
to what you're sayin'?

You can lie to yourself and
everyone else but when you go to bed,

you are just as fucked up
and miserable as I am.

And goin' to church
and wearing a crazy-ass hat

ain't gonna make you
a better person.

She got a demon in her.

My granddaughter had
a demon in her.

They everywhere.

Sure, I understand.

It's no problem.

Every time I get a night off,
my babysitter falls through on me.

You know,

I like kids, Arlene.

Donuts too.


if you brought a lady friend along.
Lisa likes a female in the house.

I ain't had a lady friend
since I come home.

That's some bad luck for you,
I guess.

Did something happen there

that you been...
keeping to yourself?

'Cause you could talk to me,
you know, if you're wantin' to.

No, I'd...

I'd just as soon sit here
and listen at you.

I like your voice.

And your clavicles.

I've been admiring
your necklace all day.

Oh, thanks, it's a lariat.
I made it.

You make jewelry?

It's a easy way to earn extra money.
I can make you one, if you want.

Thanks, but I don't think
my boyfriend much likes silver.

You know my brother's a dog,
don't you?

I'm sorry?

He's all charm and smiles
in the beginning,

but the second he gets
tired of you,

he's gonna stop callin'.

Before you know it,
he's off with some other floozy.

Not... not that you are one.

But trust me, it's as regular
as the seasons.

You seem like a sweet girl.
I don't want you to get hurt.

You know,

I don't think Jason's realized
even half of what he's going to be.

I wouldn't be so quick to judge. You
might be surprised at what he's capable.

- I've been meaning to talk to you.
- What's the matter?

I've just been a mess lately.

You know, with the kids
and the double shifts

and Rene and everything,
it's been awful hard.

And I've probably said
some things that I don't mean,

but that's the pressure talking.

I love you like my own sister.

And you know that, right?

I appreciate that. Thank you.

And sure, I'll babysit
your kids tonight.

- I... I didn't... I mean...
- I heard you talkin' to Terry.

I'm a better choice.

We'll drop 'em off at 8.

Rene's taking me to Ruston
to see that Oak Ridge Boys tribute band.

Ooh. Fun.

You look mighty pretty tonight, Tara.
That's a nice color on you.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry, w...

was that sexist?

May I have a word with you?

In my office.

Hey, I get it. You said yourself
hirin' me might not work out.

I piss people off.

If you wanna fire me, fire me.
I totally understand.

You and I are the only ones
who get it.

It's everybody else
who's fuckin' themselves up.

I mean, you've been doin' it
for over a hundred years.

Doesn't it get predictable?

Not with you, it doesn't.

You're entirely different.

And the beauty
and the tragedy of it is...

Is that you don't know
just how different you are.

Please tell me
if I'm doin' something wrong.

There's nothing more natural
than the act of makin' love.

Who am I to try to change
what comes naturally to you?

But if you could change something...

I wouldn't change a thing.

What's it like
to sleep in the ground?

It's not exactly comfortable.

But it is safe.

Which, if I recall, is what the three
voice mails required of me that night.

Oh, crap.

Arlene. I forgot, I told her
I'd babysit the kids.

Shall I go?

Stay. It'll be good for her.

You can put some pants on, though.

What's wrong?
What took you so long?

I was out back in the yard.

- In your nightie?
- The cat got out.

- Made friends with a squirrel.
- Mommy, look, it's a vampire.

You didn't mention
that you had company.

I didn't think I had to.

Well, I got a right to know
who's looking after my children.

Here we are.

Is there a problem?

Take it easy, ch?re.

Mr. Compton's raised a couple of them
little ones himself maybe, yeah?

That's quite right.

Keep these on you,

you hear?


stay close to your Aunt Sookie.

They'll be fine, I promise.

- Who wants pizza?
- Me.

Good, 'cause that's what
we're havin'.

You can eat pizza?

Well, unfortunately, no,

but I understand it's delicious.

You know what's good about sex
that people never mention?

For anywhere between five minutes
to an hour,

you forget your own fucked-up life.

Only if it's good.

If it's not, it reminds you
just how bad your life really is.

Then I guess you're pretty good.

Thanks, you're not bad yourself.

Easy on the praise, honey.


- No, you're good.
- But?

It's good. You're good.

- What am I doin' wrong?
- Nothin'.

I... see... It's so minor,
it doesn't even matter.

What is it?

- Don't do this to me.
- Spit it out.


you grunt.

I what?

It's... It's natural. Nothing to get
worked up over. It's just a sound.

A gruntin' sound?
Like a farm animal?

No, it's... it's... it's athletic.

Like tennis players when they serve.

You mean like Serena?

What, because I'm black,
I sound like Serena Williams?

- That's not what I said.
- You racist son of a bitch.

How can I be racist?
I just had sex with you.

You asshole.

Why'd you have to go and take
the only good 10 minutes

of my entire day
and ruin it like that?

- I think it was more than 10 minutes.
- Oh, fuck you. Fuck you all.

- All who?
- Everybody. Fuck everybody!

Whipped cream.

- Yeah.
- Me too.

I hope you can finish this
before your mother comes back.

No problem. I ate a whole jar
of mayonnaise once.

I had to watch.

How come you can't have ice cream?

You might say
that I'm lactose intolerant.

Just like my Aunt Fern.

Except she don't tolerate Mexicans.

Aunt Sookie, is Bill your boyfriend?

Bill, would you say
that you're my boyfriend?

Well, I suppose I'd have to ask
permission from Coby and Lisa.

Would it be all right if I was
Aunt Sookie's boyfriend?

Do you buy her flowers?

Why, no, I haven't yet.

You better. Rene buys flowers
for mama all the time.

Then I will have to mend my ways.

You do that. Then we'll talk.

Can we see your fangs?

I don't think
that's gonna be possible.

Why, certainly.

I think we got a flat tire.

Come on, baby,
the kids are waitin' on us.

I don't wanna leave them with
that vampire longer than I have to.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I'm gettin' to it, woman.



Pass me that Maglite, will you?

Crap, it's burnt out.

Are you sure?

You better check it.

I just put some fresh batteries
in there.

Arlene Fowler...

would you do me the honor

of bein' my wife?

Why didn't you say anything
at the Red Lobster?

I know I've done it
four other times,

but it never gets old.

Oh, I'm so thrilled for you two.

Would you be a bridesmaid
for me again?

Why, of course.
You hardly have to ask.

Oh, honey, I love you so much.

Maybe you two are next, huh?

Well, I mean, when it becomes legal.

Mommy, what's going on?


you're gonna be my flower girl.

Morning, dear.

Did you make all this?

I borrowed some
of your grandmother's old recipes.

But the handiwork is all mine.

I don't even know where to begin.

Well, I would start with the biscuits.
They just came out of the oven.

Gonna be clear skies all day.

Wait, Bill, it's light out.

I suppose it is.

No. No, I'll make the call.

His mama passed a couple years back,
but he had some

family in Kentucky.

His dentist confirmed the match
just a bit ago.

I thought you should be
the first to know.


Why Neil?

He was such a quiet kid.

I'd have never thought
he'd get mixed up with fangers.


To have nothing left of you
to ID but teeth.

You wanna maybe let one
of the homes in Monroe handle him?

He worked for me. I owe it to him.

Give me a couple hours,
I'll come over and claim him, okay?

Okay. Thanks, Mike.

Pretty tore up?

Blind-sided him.

Had no idea Neil was a fangbanger.

Jesus, Bud, the kid was creepy.

What 19 year-old goes to work
for a funeral home?

I worked in a slaughterhouse
when I was 15.

They made me clean chitlins.

Speaking of freaks...

And that's it.

I got no control over what people do
after they leave the bar.

You remember anyone
being unusually angry

over what those vampires
did to your bar?

We were all angry.

Heck, you might as well
interrogate the whole town.

Between you and me,

I wouldn't be heartbroken
if you didn't find who did it.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Old Mrs. Stackhouse, on the other hand,
now that's a real tragedy.

Her and Dawn and Maudette Pickens,
one right after the other.

You fellas got any leads on that?

We're workin' on some right now.

Good. I'm pullin' for you guys.

You remember anything else,
we'll be havin' a burger inside.

Come on, Andy.

One other thing.

You recall spendin' any time
out in the woods lately?


But you knew that already,
didn't you?


If I tell you,

You have to keep this a secret.

All right, nobody in town knows.

But, I come from
a family of naturists.

Like bird watchers?

No. No, not naturalists.

Naturists believe in

a freer

clothing-optional kind of lifestyle.

You're a nudist?

No. Good Lord, no.

But my folks were,

I'm embarrassed to say.

They spent most of their lives
at a nudist colony.

Oh, yeah? Around here?

No, in Texas, just outside Beaumont.


ever since they passed,

I honor their memory
once a year by...

taking a run through the woods
the way they used to. It's...

It's my private way of mourning.

I'm sorry if anybody had to see it.


Hooker, you done got took.

That was no damn exorcism,
that was a straight-up con job.

You know what
the fucked-up thing is?

- What?
- It worked.

It was like aliens beamed down
and switched out her brain.

Then that was 445 well-spent.

Shit. Happy dance.

You should be glad
to be rid of that...

- That's your mom. I ain't gonna say it.
- Fuck that.

All the shit you've built up

doesn't go away because a hoodoo woman
moves some rocks around on your belly.

I thought you said it worked.

I thought you said it was
a con job.

Heifer, it's not a con job
if you got your money's worth.


And who knows?

It might do you some good too.

I don't have another 445
to waste on bullshit.

You just saying that
'cause you don't understand it.

And trust me,

this world is filled with things
we will never understand.

Compared to a lifetime of Zoloft,
445's a bargain.

- Hey, what you doing?
- Vitamin.

I've never seen you
take a vitamin before.

So what?

You've never seen me
put on deodorant or wash my hair

or feed my cat, have you?
But I do all those things.

I don't need a permission slip
from you.


Good day?

I need V.


I thought you said
you didn't need any again until...

- you needed it again.
- Well, I need it.

Look me in the eye.

Tell me that you
don't want it too.

Yeah, of course I do,

but Lafayette won't
sell it to me.

I texted you three times.

- Why didn't you reply?
- I hate using the number keys to type.

What are you listenin' to?

From my younger days.

It's really quite beautiful
if you know Old Swedish.

I have a favor to ask of you.

A favor or an order?

Depends on how you look at it.


did you think
you could keep her to yourself?

It feels a little like stalking,
don't it?

It's the most natural thing
in the world.

The hunt.

People used to do this all the time
before we got complacent with cloned beef

and prepackaged dinners.

Headlights off.

You done this before?

Stay five lengths behind,
10 if we get on the Parish Road.

Well, hey there, sweetness.

You ready to party?

I'll take that as a yes.


I bought this specially for you.

I remember you said

you go for merlot.

I said I worked at Merlotte's.

But whatever.
Pour me some anyhow.

All right, baby.
Eddie juice first.

Then we play.

Oh, there it is.

I always look forward
to Monday nights.

First Heroes, then...


What fun is it being a vampire
if all you do is watch TV?

Well, I like TV.

I'm just sayin'
you should try the bars.

I know you like getting laid too.

Why should I go to the bars?

I got this.

You like me, don't you, Lafayette?

Sure, I like you.

I mean...

even if I wasn't helping out
with the blood, you'd still

want me, right?

Why you even got to ask me that?

I'd hate to think

it's just business for you
when you come over.

Of course not.

What, you think I fool around
with all my business associates?

Ah, there we go.

Now show me what
a dirty old vampire you is.

I want you so bad...

I ache.

Well, come on, baby.

I'll take care of you.

You said you wanted
to go out tonight.

I did not mean Fangtasia.

I mean, really,
all those pathetic people

who come here looking
for sex with vampires.

I know. It's despicable.

You know what I mean.

So, what, five, 10 minutes?

As long as Eric requires us.

You mean as long as he requires me.

Didn't even have the decency
to ask me himself.

You are mine. He didn't need
to ask your permission.

He cannot check me out
like a library book.

Unfortunately, Sookie, he can.

- Eric is sheriff of Area 5.
- Sheriff?

It's a position of great power
among our kind.

We do not wanna anger him.

As long as the requests are reasonable,
we should accede to his wishes.

I had this crazy dream this morning.

We were sitting, eating breakfast,

and all of a sudden
the sunlight set you on fire.

It wouldn't happen quite that way.

The sunlight would
severely weaken me

and eventually, of course,
I would die.

But I wouldn't burst into flames.

Not right away, at least.

So I guess

we'll never have breakfast together.

I knew you'd come.

Let's go inside.

No, I'm quite certain.

We keep extensive records here.

All the way back to 1958.

Never had anybody
by the name of Merlotte here.

And you're sure you're the only
nudist colony in the area?

Naturist community.

We're the first, finest and only

clothing-optional sanctuary
in all of Jefferson County.

All right.

- Thanks very much.
- You come visit us, you hear?

Got a barbecue every month.

Pam, Longshadow and I
are partners in this club.

And we recently noticed that $60,000
has gone missing from our books.

And Bruce...

is our accountant.

- Perhaps you can listen to him.
- He's not saying anything.

Don't be coy.

It's humbling enough to turn
to a human for assistance.

- We know what you can do.
- And I know what you can do too.

Why don't you just glamour him?

Now, don't you think we tried
everything before summoning you?


it would be a great favor to me

and to Mr. Compton if you help us.

If I find out who did it,
then what?

We'll turn that person over to police
and let the authorities handle it.

Hundreds of years old
and you're still a terrible liar.

Come on.

I'll make you a deal.

If you promise to hand over
the person who did this to the police,

I'll agree to help you
any time you want.

All right.

Why not?

Shit, what's this crazy bitch doing?
Why did I agree to work for vampires?

Goddamn it, I knew it was a bad idea.
I've been straight with these fuckers.

Gotta be an idiot
to steal from them.

Jesus Christ, I was the one
who reported it.

Bruce, it's okay.
Take a deep breath.

Did you steal their money?

No, no. You gotta believe me.
I didn't do it. I swear to...

Do you know who did?

No, I wish. I would turn
that fucker in. Who was it?

Couldn't have been Ginger.
She's too dumb.

Although she's hot as shit.
I'd fuck her if I could.

He's tellin' the truth.

You trust the skinny human
to clear the fat one?

Bring the next one in.

You got cash?
Are you buying?

Just remember your lines, that's all
I need from you. I'll handle the rest.

I'm not gonna
have to have sex with him?

I said that I will handle it.

I know you probably don't think
I'm all that smart,

but I do know that that vampire
can kill us both

before we even get in the door.

You'll handle it.

What the hell is that?

While the wing nuts on the left
keep pushing their so-called

vampire-rights legislation,

I'm more concerned
with basic human rights.

The right for our sons
and daughters

to go to school without fear
of molestation

by a bloodthirsty predator
in the playground

or in the classroom.

Someone has got to take a stand
for public safety

over permissiveness and immorality.

If you ask me, he's protesting
a little too hard.

Come out of the closet,
Reverend Steve.

I know plenty of friendly vampires
who'd like to take a bite out of you.

Oh, but truly, it's inflammatory talk
from folks like Steve Newlin

who make me ashamed
to call myself a human.

Thanks for watching.

We'll be bite back.

Who is it?

I'm a friend of Lafayette Reynolds.

He sent me for you.

Jesus Christ.

- Get his feet.
- Are you kidding?

- Get his feet!
- Okay, okay.

No, please! I'll give you
anything you want.

- Shut up!
- Amy, what the hell?

No names, dumb ass.

I thought we'd take
a little blood and go.

- Shut the fuck up.
- Jeez.

- Now, come on, lift.
- What?

Lift him up.

Please! No!

No! I'll do anything you want.

This is the last of our humans.


This woman has some
questions for you.

Be a good girl and answer them,
will you?

Aye, aye, master.

Don't you touch me.

Hold her still.

Ginger, someone's been
stealing money from the bar.


Don't look at me.
I didn't do nothing.

I'll beat the shit out of you
if you say I did.

It wasn't me that took it.

She didn't do it...

- but she knows who did.
- What?

Fuck you.

Shit. How'd she know?
I didn't tell anyone, I swear.

Fuck, he's gonna kill me.

Who? Who's gonna kill you?

Ginger, honey, what's his name?

It's blank,
like her memory's been erased.

I don't know anything, I swear.

- She's been glamoured.
- It's a vampire.