Trailer Park Boys (2001–2018): Season 8, Episode 8 - The Super-Duper-Industrial-Bubbles-Honey-Oil-Inator - full transcript
When the compressor air conditioner breaks, Bubbles has to turn his sheds into an industrial honey oil manufacturing complex to save Ricky's weed.
Bubbles: Okay kids so the most
important thing to remember
when you're learning
body-checking
you need to train yourself to
forget about the puck.
You gotta concentrate on the
person you're lining up to hit.
Ricky:
That's right, fuck the puck
it's all about the
shoulders, okay?
Watch this while
I lay Jacob out. Jacob?
I'm just looking at his
shoulders and...BOOM!!
[window crashing]
Ah!
And if the referee's not looking
finish it with a nice slash or
a spear or something like that
and that's a nice clean hit.
Geez Ricky that's not
actually a clean hit kids.
I mean it was pretty nice but
you shouldn't do that.
All right Jacob get the fuck
back in here, it's all part of
becoming a man, and you and Cory
fix that window today too.
[Parrot Voice]: Fuck you.
What the fuck did you
just say to me, Jacob?
Nothing Ricky.
I'm not deaf, I heard
you say fuck you.
Cory:
He didn't say anything man,
I'm standing right
beside him dude.
[Parrot Voice]: Suck my
cock, bwah, lick my nuts.
What the fuck is
going on here?
[Parrot Voice]: Lick my nuts
bwah, eat my shit bwah.
Is that my weed? How can
my weed be talking to me?
It sounds pissed off.
[Parrot Voice]: Fuck you.
Well fuck you too
weed ya whore!
Ricky, is that what you
actually think's happening?
Your weed came to life?
[Parrot]: Finger my ass.
and it's talking to ya
telling ya to fuck off?
[Parrot]: Bwah, Taco likes weed.
Bubbles: Ricky that's Taco.
Taco's in the fucking walls!
Taco: Bwah-fuck my dick-bwah.
No I knew that, I mean I know
that's the parrot, whatever.
Taco: Bwah, suck my balls.
Ricky: What the fuck?
Taco you furry slut,
you better not be in there
eating all my weed
getting high as fuck.
Oh my god Bubbles we got to
get him out of there
before he beaks
all my weed to pieces!
Taco: Bwah, check my hair,
finger my ass.
The mouth on him!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Taco, you stoned wing
little prick! SPEAK!
Bubbles [outside]:
I haven't seen him yet boys
but keep banging.
Get him on the run!
Force him to this intake pipe,
I can fish him out of here!
Taco: Bwah, suck my balls!
I can hear him swearin'!
Taco: Fuck you, fuck you,
suck my cock! Bwah!
Rick listen man, we're not
making money fast enough.
I'm starting to get
fucking worried here.
I know, everything keeps getting
fucked up, it sucks!
Taco: Fuck you!
Taco, where the FUCK are you?
Taco: Bwah, lick my nuts.
I figured out a way
how we can do it and
your probably not
going to like it but...
Ricky:
I'm not making anymore pornos.
Things are going really well
with me and Lucy right now.
Taco: Suck my cock.
I'm not talking about pornos.
We could somehow take
all your weed,
turn it into honey oil,
sell it, we'd make
more than enough money to
buy the park, it'd be easy.
There's three problems with
your little trike dream.
ONE, I would need a full-on
fucking oil refinery
to turn this much weed into
oil... and C...
I don't really remember what
the fuck C was.
There's only two
problems I guess,
but they're two
fucking big ones.
Bubbles [outside]:
I just saw him run by boys,
he's going to the back of
the trailer left side.
Taco: Bwah,
taco likes weed bwah.
Cory: Dude
[muffled bird voice]
What the fuck is that Cory?
A cracker?
Yeah dude, like
Polly want a cracker, bwah!
Jacob: Good one Cory.
Yeah.
Taco: Bwah, suck on my balls!
God Cory that's just a shitty
line out of a pirate movie
you realize that? Parrots eat
tropical fruit and insects.
Taco: Bwah, suck on my balls.
Bwah, eat my shit.
This little fucking asshole,
I hear him Bubbles!
I hear the little cocksucker!
He's right fucking here!
I'll try to scare him
back towards you!
Taco: Fuck you, bwah!
Get going you son of
a fucking asshole.
Bubbles: I see him!
Fuck!
He ran right past.
Taco: Bwah, suck my tits.
Cory: Yo I think I
hear him in here dude.
[Sound of motor shutting down]
OH MY FUCK HE GOT MULCHED!!
Oh he got mulched.
He got mulched boys!
What the fuck does mulch mean?
Where's Taco?
That's Taco Ricky, look.
He must have got sucked
through the compressor.
Oh my god what are we
going to tell Coconut?
That's the least of our
fucking problems.
Is the compressor fucked?
YES!!
Oh my god!
That means all the weed's
going to thaw and go mouldy
from the fucking moisture!
I'm going to lose everything!
This is FUCKED!!
What am I going to do?
Ricky: FUCK! FUCK!
Bubbles: [Whimpering
Little Taco.
Hmm, look he got
made into tacos.
At least he didn't suffer man.
No he didn't suffer.
[door opening]
Good news Jimmy,
We got the money to
buy the park.
So what do you say we all
go for a drive to the bank
right fucking now and
finish this fucking dealio?
[slurring]
Well you got the money?
Goddamn right old man.
The fucking deal is done.
Yeah.
Okay? Ten grand
for your one percent.
Tha-tha-that's great but we
can't finish the deal today.
Why the fuck not? You wanna
hear our guns go boom boom?
No no no... the-the lawyer said
he's gonna need ah
a whole day to get
the paperwork together.
Well...well what do you say
I set the deal up tomorrow
for say ah five o'clock?
Five o'clock okay for you guys?
All right you piss licker,
five o'clock
but if you fuck around on us
in any way for that one percent
it's boom boom bye, bye.
We get the fucking park or
you are FUCKING DEAD!!!
COMPRENDE?
Yeah a thousand percent.
I comprende.
[banging on wall]
Ricky: How's it looking
in there sweetie?
Not great, a lot of it's
thawing out. It's damp.
Yeah a lot of it's starting
to melt and it's starting to
run through the bedrooms too.
Look at this.
Oh my fuck! Where
in the cocksuck can I
dry this much weed?!
it's too damp in here!
It starts off here in the
washing machines
and the Isopropyl.
Okay
Pumped over here to
the filter room,
then it goes on to two stages
of refining right here
and over to the holding tank.
I mean it can be done Julian
it's just it's not ideal
for me obviously.
Ricky: Un-FUCKING believeable!!
My crop's going to be ruined!
Bubbles: Ricky! There's a fence.
Ricky: Fuck!
Julian: Calm down man,
jesus relax!
Ricky: I can't!
Rick you said you needed
a full on oil refinery, right?
Check that out buddy. Bubs is
going to build it for ya.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Oh I can fucking
build it Ricky.
Are you sure you want to
build that here in your sheds?
Julian:
Yeah, you cool with this?
Hmm what choice do I have?
What, do I want to be known as
the guy that FUCKING
let the park go away? No.
This is fucking amazing.
Thank you Bubbles, love you man.
Love you too Ricky.
Let's go Julian, caboose me.
I love you guys.
Bubbles: [making train sounds]
Chugga-Chugga-Chugga.
Ha ha! Toot Toot!
[Dogs barking, Cats screaming]
Oh yeah okay oh hell this is all
easy shit to get...submersible
That can be anything.
Yeah, the only fucking bitch
of the bunch on this list
is the Isopropyl Alcohol.
I don't know anybody
that's going to fucking
stock that much.
No Ricky, funeral homes do.
They use it instead of
Formaldehyde.
I bet you my right nut, fucking
Carter's has a ton of it.
You can probably trade
some of your product
to one of them for it,
you know, funeral people they're
all baked all the time
dealing with the, you know,
the "Deadies."
Good point.
Here I'll see what I can
find out for ya.
Thanks Bubs. Julian!
I need you to give me a hand
with this Isopropyl Alcohol.
Cory, Jacob let's go!
Get the fuck over here!
You guys are going to get
all the fucking pipes we need
for this thing, okay?
And you can't fuck this up,
you know what's on the line.
you're part of my family now
and my family does not
fuck things up. [drops glass]
Okay Ricky.
For FUCK SAKES!
Was that necessary Rick?
I'm a little stressed here
right now Julian.
Foreman: Don't drive the rebar
torch in... quarter inch back,
same thing you fucked up
last time for fuck sakes!
Cory: This is serious dude,
we got this. We got it.
Hands down
you piss pheasants.
You can raise your hands
when you come through.
Here's the list,
you got bus fare?
[Together] No.
FUCK!! Not a good start boys.
Here's a couple hash coins.
[Together] Sorry Ricky.
Julian: Jacob!
Yeah?
Make sure Cory doesn't fuck up!
I will.
Cory, you make sure
Jacob doesn't fuck up!
Cool!
Cory: Let's light a grassfire.
Jacob: Oh I don't know man.
Dude, all construction
workers smoke joints.
Oh, okay.
I should set the agitator
cycle to twenty-five minutes,
connections all look good.
I'm in charge of putting
together and designing this
dirty whore of an oil refinery.
I can't let anything get
FUCKED up, this is my specialty
I'm calling it the
SUPER DUPER INDUSTRIAL
BUBBLES HONEY OILINATOR.
I just didn't realize how much
FUCKING weed Ricky had!
I hope the thing can live up
to it's name, you know?
I'm under a lot of FUCKING
pressure here,
I'm just trembling like some
kind of a FUCKING trembly thing
[deep breath] everything'll be
FUCKING ready to go as long as
the boys just get back here
with the supplies.
[deep breath]
Just calm down Bubbles [exhale]
'Bout three inches wide
or inches long, I have no idea.
It must mean wide. If it was
length we'd need an awful lot
of it, wouldn't we?
Oh I can't fuck this up!
You know what, I'm just going to
get some of everything
and there's no way
it can fuck up.
Yeah good thinkin'.
Plastic or metal?
Plastic is much lighter and
metal's old school man.
Everything's plastic now
space station's plastic,
cars are plastic,
everything's plastic.
All right let's do this.
All right.
Dude!
[feigning innocence]
Oh hey man we're just
carrying old pipe away,
replacing faulty ones
with new ones.
Worker: Yeah, I don't give a
fuck.
Cory: So smooth.
[car doors closing]
[car doors closing]
[muffled, speaking gently]
Just tuck you away there big
fella. There we go.
FREEZE!!
[screaming]
BAH!! AH!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR
ISOPROPYL ALOCHOL?
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE IS IT?
There. Two bales of it
just right through there.
Just don't hurt me!
Julian: Let's go.
Ricky: PUT THE HAIRDRYER DOWN!
PUT THE FUCKING HAIRDRYER DOWN!
RIGHT NOW!!
I will fucking shoot you!
Put it down, put it down.
Oh yeah! Uh huh!
Let's move! Let's move!
[hairdryer impact] POW!
FUCK!!!
Ricky: YOU FUCKING GOT ME
IN THE HEAD WITH A FUCKING
HAIRDRYER YOU WEIRD
LITTLE FUCK!!!! [groaning]
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
FUCK! Fuck! He dented the bone
that holds my eye in!
[hairdryer impact]
POW!
Who's next?
I'll rip ya a new one!
YOU FUCK OFF
WITH THE HAIRDRYER!!!
DON'T YOU DENT MY CAR!! FUCK!!!
All right my arms are
really tired man.
Yeah, yeah just keep going.
I'm really tired.
It's okay, keep going. Listen.
What?
Hold up.
[vehicle approaching]
Oh dude, a bus!
STOP DUDE! STOP!
Watch out dudes!
Yo man, you guys wanna
get on first or something man.
Come on. Let's go.
Thank you.
Watch...watch out.
Hi everybody!
Ah yep oh watch my neck.
Hi Mister bus driver. Hey look,
here's two hash coins...
Thank you very much.
Hey can you hold this?
Yeah
Dude, we did it!
Yeah
What's up dude?
Oh my fuck! That's not
the right number!
Are you fucking up here Bubbles?
This doesn't make any sense.
Oh my fuck I can't take this!
Dung dung dugga dung dung!
Bobby, don't fucking start!
[Bubble's speaking for Bobby]
Oh I'm just worried Bubbles
I don't know if you know this
but honey oil is considered
a processed drug
just like Heroin.
Bobby I'm trying to fucking
concentrate, okay?
Leave me alone.
Well I'm just worried Bubbles
that you're going to go back
to jail because of
Ricky and Julian.
I have no choice. They're my
friends, I need to trust them.
Well you do whatever you want.
But just remember I'm here
for ya if you need me.
Quit fuckin' talk to me like
Dexter's Father does HMMM...
[car horn honking]
Honk!!! Honk!!!
Honk!!! Honk!!!!
Jullian, why didn't you stop
ah I was fucking beeping and
beeping bud!
I'm busy Jim!
Julian we got trouble.
Cyrus and Sam have the money,
they're ready to go.
I managed to stall 'em until
five o'clock tomorrow.
WHAT??
Well I had not choice. They
pulled their fucking guns on me.
I was scared shitless!
I-I had to promise I'd give 'em
one percent of the park.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD
YOU DO THAT???
Well I don't know!
Jesus Christ! Bubs is this
even possible?
Yeah it's possible if I had
the right FUCKING materials
I mean we'd be cuttin' close
but it's doable. Oh my FUCK!
Woowoo! Check it out dudes,
all aboard the pipe train!
For the love of King Henry's
nutsack, that's plastic pipe!!
You don't think that's gonna
melt under extreme heat?
Not to mention it's not even the
right size! I needed three inch.
That's not three inch!
You coulda told that by putting
your birds together.
Boys, this is fucked
I can't use that, we're fucked.
[sigh] you guys better get the
fuck away from me right now.
You just cost us the
FUCKING trailer park.
Lahey: I think I got some
three inch metal pipe in the
supply shed, I'll go get it.
Cory and Jacob get the fuck here
and give me a hand.
Go! Go with him right now!
FUCK!!
Get the fuck in.
Get the fuck in here!
[approaching vehicle blasts a
melody with horn]
What the fuck is that?
Keep cool Ricky.
Friends, Romans, FUCKHEADS!
Lend me your dumb stupid ears!
It's time to play a little
game called, WHO WINS AND
WHO FUCKING LOSES!!!
Cyrus:'Cuz this is
game seven overtime.
Cyrus has a puck he
passes it to Sam.
Sam shoots.
[gun cocks and fires a shot]
He scores!
And Cyrus and Sam
win the park!
And everybody else
CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!
Fuck you cave dwelling man whore
and you can suck it dickrus.
Oh the agony of defeat,
how's it feel Julian?
It feels pretty shitty Sam.It
feels like I let everybody down.
You guys win.
You can go home now.
Oh the big tough Julian
admits defeat. Well that's
really all we wanted to hear.
We won fair and square
so let's end this like men.
I'm not shaking your hand.
Pussy.
That's all right, 'cuz we're
levelling this fucking place.
Cory!
[banging]
Oh this just keeps getting
better and better.
Gotcha Jimbo!
[Chuckling] I got you.
Well, well, well what do we
have here?
Are you helping these guys?
You fucking us around?
It's not what you think, Cyrus.
I'm just trading some pipe.
Oh I think it's exactly what I
think! I think you're looking
for some lead in the head!
Julian: Fuck off!
Oh,big tough Julian gonna take
a bullet for this fruitloop?
I'd take a bullet for
anyone from this park.
Oh that's good because
my brain's telling my finger
to pull the trigger
right about now.
Well you and your brain
can FUCK off, we've been
down this road before Cyrus.
You're not shooting anybody.
Randy: WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON HERE?!
Oh no, Whale Blubber Boy's
going take his pants off again!
Put the friggen gun away,
Cyrus, before I call the cops.
I'm sick of turning my
back on criminal
activity here Mister Lahey.
Lahey: Randy!
Julian: Pull up your pants,
I got this.
Why don't you put the gun down
and fight me like a man?
Sam take care of this muscle
bound bitch for me.
I've been looking for
a chance to fight you and
your dumb muscles.
Muscles slow you down
stoop... [Punch]
Hold that for me.
Oh the gun's out again,
wow what a surprise!
We know you're not
going to use it
'cuz your a FUCKING PUSSY!
Oh yeah?
[Gunshot]
OW!!
Jesus!
Oh my god Randy!
Bubbles: Choke him out Julian!
Don't you ever come
back to this park
unless you own the place,
you got it?
YOU GOT IT?
I got it! I got it!
Bubbles: AH FUCK YOU CYRUS, YOU
PUSSY!!!
Your a friggen jerk Cyrus!
Bubbles: Fucking dickweeds!
Randy you are now an official
trailer park supervisor bud!
That was very impressive
big man.
You don't have to go to the
hospital for that
he just glazed ya.
[Car horn blasts a melody as car
speeds off]
So is that pipe gonna work or
what?
Yes the pipe can work.
All right let's get this going
we're runnin' out of time guys.
Thanks Jim.
Ricky: What a fuckin' horn
shower-offer.
[Dogs bark in distance]
Come on bead up for me
you dirty little bitch!
There she is.
Beads for Bubbles. Yeah.
How's it going buddy?
That should be pretty much it
right there.
[Metal BANG]
AH FUCK SLUT!!!
How'd you make out with
the connections up there?
It was the last one.
Pretty impressive Bubs.
Yeah I guess so.
What's wrong?
Well it's just ,you know, Julian
I just wanted to have a nice
little simple business to run,
now I have a full on FUCKING
honey oil refinery on my
property.
It's all going to be worth it
man, I promise.
And look at this fucking thing.
Yeah it's pretty FUCKING decent.
Lahey: How's it feeling Rand?
It friggen hurts.
This woulda never happened
if I could have called the cops
when I wanted to.
I'm sorry Randy.
I can't explain it but
there's bigger things
at play here, you're just gonna
have to trust me.
I'm scared Mister Lahey.
Things are out of control.
How am I supposed to trust you?
Trust is the only thing we have
left Randy.
Look there's going to be a
bodyguard here in about an hour.
Safest place for you to be
is right here with me.
A body guard like the movies?
Yeah, something like that.
Listen why don't we get
you in your bed
I can make you feel
more comfortable.
I'm not ready for that Mister
Lahey.
I'm really confused about
my feelings right now.
I'm just going to sleep on the
couch.
Okay, suit yourself.
What a fucking day! Ahh...
Ricky: Bubbles you built
the greatest honey oil factory
in the history of the world man,
I can't fucking WAIT to cook
tomorrow!
[door opening]
Hey Coconut, how ya feeling bud?
Hey mon, I have one
question to ask.
Did me bird suffer?
Ricky: Definitely didn't suffer
I mean that thing spins at about
nine hundred rip ems and it
probably got sucked into it
head first and he just got
shredded instantly into these
little tiny...
Bubbles: Ricky you...! My god.
No Coconut I guarantee ya
he didn't suffer,
I know that for a fact.
Now I don't know if you realize
this
but Taco's a hero!
A hero? Come on man
how can de bird be a hero man?
He's just a bird.
Oh no, I mean if he didn't
have this tragedy befall upon
him
and he didn't get SUCKED
into that air conditioner and
completely pulverized the
insides of it with his poor
little bird body...
we wouldn't be in this position
to... to save Sunnyvale from the
clutches of evil.
Yeah mon.
You know we owe that
all to Taco, boys.
Oh I'm gonna miss him.
So am I. Sorry Coconut.
Yeah mon.
Look I don't know how we're
going to do it yet but
I promise you, I promise you
we're going to honour that brave
little son of a whore and the
sacrifice that he made.
Yeah mon.
To Taco, boys!
[In unison] To Taco!
Here little buddy,
do a shooter for Taco.
Ricky...
Well boys I'd love to sit around
and get wasted with you guys but
unfortunately I've got to go
be a bodyguard for drunkie
for the rest of the night.
That's...that's on me man.
All right.
Bubbles: Julian?
What?
Git yer arse on a swivel bud.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
important thing to remember
when you're learning
body-checking
you need to train yourself to
forget about the puck.
You gotta concentrate on the
person you're lining up to hit.
Ricky:
That's right, fuck the puck
it's all about the
shoulders, okay?
Watch this while
I lay Jacob out. Jacob?
I'm just looking at his
shoulders and...BOOM!!
[window crashing]
Ah!
And if the referee's not looking
finish it with a nice slash or
a spear or something like that
and that's a nice clean hit.
Geez Ricky that's not
actually a clean hit kids.
I mean it was pretty nice but
you shouldn't do that.
All right Jacob get the fuck
back in here, it's all part of
becoming a man, and you and Cory
fix that window today too.
[Parrot Voice]: Fuck you.
What the fuck did you
just say to me, Jacob?
Nothing Ricky.
I'm not deaf, I heard
you say fuck you.
Cory:
He didn't say anything man,
I'm standing right
beside him dude.
[Parrot Voice]: Suck my
cock, bwah, lick my nuts.
What the fuck is
going on here?
[Parrot Voice]: Lick my nuts
bwah, eat my shit bwah.
Is that my weed? How can
my weed be talking to me?
It sounds pissed off.
[Parrot Voice]: Fuck you.
Well fuck you too
weed ya whore!
Ricky, is that what you
actually think's happening?
Your weed came to life?
[Parrot]: Finger my ass.
and it's talking to ya
telling ya to fuck off?
[Parrot]: Bwah, Taco likes weed.
Bubbles: Ricky that's Taco.
Taco's in the fucking walls!
Taco: Bwah-fuck my dick-bwah.
No I knew that, I mean I know
that's the parrot, whatever.
Taco: Bwah, suck my balls.
Ricky: What the fuck?
Taco you furry slut,
you better not be in there
eating all my weed
getting high as fuck.
Oh my god Bubbles we got to
get him out of there
before he beaks
all my weed to pieces!
Taco: Bwah, check my hair,
finger my ass.
The mouth on him!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Taco, you stoned wing
little prick! SPEAK!
Bubbles [outside]:
I haven't seen him yet boys
but keep banging.
Get him on the run!
Force him to this intake pipe,
I can fish him out of here!
Taco: Bwah, suck my balls!
I can hear him swearin'!
Taco: Fuck you, fuck you,
suck my cock! Bwah!
Rick listen man, we're not
making money fast enough.
I'm starting to get
fucking worried here.
I know, everything keeps getting
fucked up, it sucks!
Taco: Fuck you!
Taco, where the FUCK are you?
Taco: Bwah, lick my nuts.
I figured out a way
how we can do it and
your probably not
going to like it but...
Ricky:
I'm not making anymore pornos.
Things are going really well
with me and Lucy right now.
Taco: Suck my cock.
I'm not talking about pornos.
We could somehow take
all your weed,
turn it into honey oil,
sell it, we'd make
more than enough money to
buy the park, it'd be easy.
There's three problems with
your little trike dream.
ONE, I would need a full-on
fucking oil refinery
to turn this much weed into
oil... and C...
I don't really remember what
the fuck C was.
There's only two
problems I guess,
but they're two
fucking big ones.
Bubbles [outside]:
I just saw him run by boys,
he's going to the back of
the trailer left side.
Taco: Bwah,
taco likes weed bwah.
Cory: Dude
[muffled bird voice]
What the fuck is that Cory?
A cracker?
Yeah dude, like
Polly want a cracker, bwah!
Jacob: Good one Cory.
Yeah.
Taco: Bwah, suck on my balls!
God Cory that's just a shitty
line out of a pirate movie
you realize that? Parrots eat
tropical fruit and insects.
Taco: Bwah, suck on my balls.
Bwah, eat my shit.
This little fucking asshole,
I hear him Bubbles!
I hear the little cocksucker!
He's right fucking here!
I'll try to scare him
back towards you!
Taco: Fuck you, bwah!
Get going you son of
a fucking asshole.
Bubbles: I see him!
Fuck!
He ran right past.
Taco: Bwah, suck my tits.
Cory: Yo I think I
hear him in here dude.
[Sound of motor shutting down]
OH MY FUCK HE GOT MULCHED!!
Oh he got mulched.
He got mulched boys!
What the fuck does mulch mean?
Where's Taco?
That's Taco Ricky, look.
He must have got sucked
through the compressor.
Oh my god what are we
going to tell Coconut?
That's the least of our
fucking problems.
Is the compressor fucked?
YES!!
Oh my god!
That means all the weed's
going to thaw and go mouldy
from the fucking moisture!
I'm going to lose everything!
This is FUCKED!!
What am I going to do?
Ricky: FUCK! FUCK!
Bubbles: [Whimpering
Little Taco.
Hmm, look he got
made into tacos.
At least he didn't suffer man.
No he didn't suffer.
[door opening]
Good news Jimmy,
We got the money to
buy the park.
So what do you say we all
go for a drive to the bank
right fucking now and
finish this fucking dealio?
[slurring]
Well you got the money?
Goddamn right old man.
The fucking deal is done.
Yeah.
Okay? Ten grand
for your one percent.
Tha-tha-that's great but we
can't finish the deal today.
Why the fuck not? You wanna
hear our guns go boom boom?
No no no... the-the lawyer said
he's gonna need ah
a whole day to get
the paperwork together.
Well...well what do you say
I set the deal up tomorrow
for say ah five o'clock?
Five o'clock okay for you guys?
All right you piss licker,
five o'clock
but if you fuck around on us
in any way for that one percent
it's boom boom bye, bye.
We get the fucking park or
you are FUCKING DEAD!!!
COMPRENDE?
Yeah a thousand percent.
I comprende.
[banging on wall]
Ricky: How's it looking
in there sweetie?
Not great, a lot of it's
thawing out. It's damp.
Yeah a lot of it's starting
to melt and it's starting to
run through the bedrooms too.
Look at this.
Oh my fuck! Where
in the cocksuck can I
dry this much weed?!
it's too damp in here!
It starts off here in the
washing machines
and the Isopropyl.
Okay
Pumped over here to
the filter room,
then it goes on to two stages
of refining right here
and over to the holding tank.
I mean it can be done Julian
it's just it's not ideal
for me obviously.
Ricky: Un-FUCKING believeable!!
My crop's going to be ruined!
Bubbles: Ricky! There's a fence.
Ricky: Fuck!
Julian: Calm down man,
jesus relax!
Ricky: I can't!
Rick you said you needed
a full on oil refinery, right?
Check that out buddy. Bubs is
going to build it for ya.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Oh I can fucking
build it Ricky.
Are you sure you want to
build that here in your sheds?
Julian:
Yeah, you cool with this?
Hmm what choice do I have?
What, do I want to be known as
the guy that FUCKING
let the park go away? No.
This is fucking amazing.
Thank you Bubbles, love you man.
Love you too Ricky.
Let's go Julian, caboose me.
I love you guys.
Bubbles: [making train sounds]
Chugga-Chugga-Chugga.
Ha ha! Toot Toot!
[Dogs barking, Cats screaming]
Oh yeah okay oh hell this is all
easy shit to get...submersible
That can be anything.
Yeah, the only fucking bitch
of the bunch on this list
is the Isopropyl Alcohol.
I don't know anybody
that's going to fucking
stock that much.
No Ricky, funeral homes do.
They use it instead of
Formaldehyde.
I bet you my right nut, fucking
Carter's has a ton of it.
You can probably trade
some of your product
to one of them for it,
you know, funeral people they're
all baked all the time
dealing with the, you know,
the "Deadies."
Good point.
Here I'll see what I can
find out for ya.
Thanks Bubs. Julian!
I need you to give me a hand
with this Isopropyl Alcohol.
Cory, Jacob let's go!
Get the fuck over here!
You guys are going to get
all the fucking pipes we need
for this thing, okay?
And you can't fuck this up,
you know what's on the line.
you're part of my family now
and my family does not
fuck things up. [drops glass]
Okay Ricky.
For FUCK SAKES!
Was that necessary Rick?
I'm a little stressed here
right now Julian.
Foreman: Don't drive the rebar
torch in... quarter inch back,
same thing you fucked up
last time for fuck sakes!
Cory: This is serious dude,
we got this. We got it.
Hands down
you piss pheasants.
You can raise your hands
when you come through.
Here's the list,
you got bus fare?
[Together] No.
FUCK!! Not a good start boys.
Here's a couple hash coins.
[Together] Sorry Ricky.
Julian: Jacob!
Yeah?
Make sure Cory doesn't fuck up!
I will.
Cory, you make sure
Jacob doesn't fuck up!
Cool!
Cory: Let's light a grassfire.
Jacob: Oh I don't know man.
Dude, all construction
workers smoke joints.
Oh, okay.
I should set the agitator
cycle to twenty-five minutes,
connections all look good.
I'm in charge of putting
together and designing this
dirty whore of an oil refinery.
I can't let anything get
FUCKED up, this is my specialty
I'm calling it the
SUPER DUPER INDUSTRIAL
BUBBLES HONEY OILINATOR.
I just didn't realize how much
FUCKING weed Ricky had!
I hope the thing can live up
to it's name, you know?
I'm under a lot of FUCKING
pressure here,
I'm just trembling like some
kind of a FUCKING trembly thing
[deep breath] everything'll be
FUCKING ready to go as long as
the boys just get back here
with the supplies.
[deep breath]
Just calm down Bubbles [exhale]
'Bout three inches wide
or inches long, I have no idea.
It must mean wide. If it was
length we'd need an awful lot
of it, wouldn't we?
Oh I can't fuck this up!
You know what, I'm just going to
get some of everything
and there's no way
it can fuck up.
Yeah good thinkin'.
Plastic or metal?
Plastic is much lighter and
metal's old school man.
Everything's plastic now
space station's plastic,
cars are plastic,
everything's plastic.
All right let's do this.
All right.
Dude!
[feigning innocence]
Oh hey man we're just
carrying old pipe away,
replacing faulty ones
with new ones.
Worker: Yeah, I don't give a
fuck.
Cory: So smooth.
[car doors closing]
[car doors closing]
[muffled, speaking gently]
Just tuck you away there big
fella. There we go.
FREEZE!!
[screaming]
BAH!! AH!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR
ISOPROPYL ALOCHOL?
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE IS IT?
There. Two bales of it
just right through there.
Just don't hurt me!
Julian: Let's go.
Ricky: PUT THE HAIRDRYER DOWN!
PUT THE FUCKING HAIRDRYER DOWN!
RIGHT NOW!!
I will fucking shoot you!
Put it down, put it down.
Oh yeah! Uh huh!
Let's move! Let's move!
[hairdryer impact] POW!
FUCK!!!
Ricky: YOU FUCKING GOT ME
IN THE HEAD WITH A FUCKING
HAIRDRYER YOU WEIRD
LITTLE FUCK!!!! [groaning]
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
FUCK! Fuck! He dented the bone
that holds my eye in!
[hairdryer impact]
POW!
Who's next?
I'll rip ya a new one!
YOU FUCK OFF
WITH THE HAIRDRYER!!!
DON'T YOU DENT MY CAR!! FUCK!!!
All right my arms are
really tired man.
Yeah, yeah just keep going.
I'm really tired.
It's okay, keep going. Listen.
What?
Hold up.
[vehicle approaching]
Oh dude, a bus!
STOP DUDE! STOP!
Watch out dudes!
Yo man, you guys wanna
get on first or something man.
Come on. Let's go.
Thank you.
Watch...watch out.
Hi everybody!
Ah yep oh watch my neck.
Hi Mister bus driver. Hey look,
here's two hash coins...
Thank you very much.
Hey can you hold this?
Yeah
Dude, we did it!
Yeah
What's up dude?
Oh my fuck! That's not
the right number!
Are you fucking up here Bubbles?
This doesn't make any sense.
Oh my fuck I can't take this!
Dung dung dugga dung dung!
Bobby, don't fucking start!
[Bubble's speaking for Bobby]
Oh I'm just worried Bubbles
I don't know if you know this
but honey oil is considered
a processed drug
just like Heroin.
Bobby I'm trying to fucking
concentrate, okay?
Leave me alone.
Well I'm just worried Bubbles
that you're going to go back
to jail because of
Ricky and Julian.
I have no choice. They're my
friends, I need to trust them.
Well you do whatever you want.
But just remember I'm here
for ya if you need me.
Quit fuckin' talk to me like
Dexter's Father does HMMM...
[car horn honking]
Honk!!! Honk!!!
Honk!!! Honk!!!!
Jullian, why didn't you stop
ah I was fucking beeping and
beeping bud!
I'm busy Jim!
Julian we got trouble.
Cyrus and Sam have the money,
they're ready to go.
I managed to stall 'em until
five o'clock tomorrow.
WHAT??
Well I had not choice. They
pulled their fucking guns on me.
I was scared shitless!
I-I had to promise I'd give 'em
one percent of the park.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD
YOU DO THAT???
Well I don't know!
Jesus Christ! Bubs is this
even possible?
Yeah it's possible if I had
the right FUCKING materials
I mean we'd be cuttin' close
but it's doable. Oh my FUCK!
Woowoo! Check it out dudes,
all aboard the pipe train!
For the love of King Henry's
nutsack, that's plastic pipe!!
You don't think that's gonna
melt under extreme heat?
Not to mention it's not even the
right size! I needed three inch.
That's not three inch!
You coulda told that by putting
your birds together.
Boys, this is fucked
I can't use that, we're fucked.
[sigh] you guys better get the
fuck away from me right now.
You just cost us the
FUCKING trailer park.
Lahey: I think I got some
three inch metal pipe in the
supply shed, I'll go get it.
Cory and Jacob get the fuck here
and give me a hand.
Go! Go with him right now!
FUCK!!
Get the fuck in.
Get the fuck in here!
[approaching vehicle blasts a
melody with horn]
What the fuck is that?
Keep cool Ricky.
Friends, Romans, FUCKHEADS!
Lend me your dumb stupid ears!
It's time to play a little
game called, WHO WINS AND
WHO FUCKING LOSES!!!
Cyrus:'Cuz this is
game seven overtime.
Cyrus has a puck he
passes it to Sam.
Sam shoots.
[gun cocks and fires a shot]
He scores!
And Cyrus and Sam
win the park!
And everybody else
CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!
Fuck you cave dwelling man whore
and you can suck it dickrus.
Oh the agony of defeat,
how's it feel Julian?
It feels pretty shitty Sam.It
feels like I let everybody down.
You guys win.
You can go home now.
Oh the big tough Julian
admits defeat. Well that's
really all we wanted to hear.
We won fair and square
so let's end this like men.
I'm not shaking your hand.
Pussy.
That's all right, 'cuz we're
levelling this fucking place.
Cory!
[banging]
Oh this just keeps getting
better and better.
Gotcha Jimbo!
[Chuckling] I got you.
Well, well, well what do we
have here?
Are you helping these guys?
You fucking us around?
It's not what you think, Cyrus.
I'm just trading some pipe.
Oh I think it's exactly what I
think! I think you're looking
for some lead in the head!
Julian: Fuck off!
Oh,big tough Julian gonna take
a bullet for this fruitloop?
I'd take a bullet for
anyone from this park.
Oh that's good because
my brain's telling my finger
to pull the trigger
right about now.
Well you and your brain
can FUCK off, we've been
down this road before Cyrus.
You're not shooting anybody.
Randy: WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON HERE?!
Oh no, Whale Blubber Boy's
going take his pants off again!
Put the friggen gun away,
Cyrus, before I call the cops.
I'm sick of turning my
back on criminal
activity here Mister Lahey.
Lahey: Randy!
Julian: Pull up your pants,
I got this.
Why don't you put the gun down
and fight me like a man?
Sam take care of this muscle
bound bitch for me.
I've been looking for
a chance to fight you and
your dumb muscles.
Muscles slow you down
stoop... [Punch]
Hold that for me.
Oh the gun's out again,
wow what a surprise!
We know you're not
going to use it
'cuz your a FUCKING PUSSY!
Oh yeah?
[Gunshot]
OW!!
Jesus!
Oh my god Randy!
Bubbles: Choke him out Julian!
Don't you ever come
back to this park
unless you own the place,
you got it?
YOU GOT IT?
I got it! I got it!
Bubbles: AH FUCK YOU CYRUS, YOU
PUSSY!!!
Your a friggen jerk Cyrus!
Bubbles: Fucking dickweeds!
Randy you are now an official
trailer park supervisor bud!
That was very impressive
big man.
You don't have to go to the
hospital for that
he just glazed ya.
[Car horn blasts a melody as car
speeds off]
So is that pipe gonna work or
what?
Yes the pipe can work.
All right let's get this going
we're runnin' out of time guys.
Thanks Jim.
Ricky: What a fuckin' horn
shower-offer.
[Dogs bark in distance]
Come on bead up for me
you dirty little bitch!
There she is.
Beads for Bubbles. Yeah.
How's it going buddy?
That should be pretty much it
right there.
[Metal BANG]
AH FUCK SLUT!!!
How'd you make out with
the connections up there?
It was the last one.
Pretty impressive Bubs.
Yeah I guess so.
What's wrong?
Well it's just ,you know, Julian
I just wanted to have a nice
little simple business to run,
now I have a full on FUCKING
honey oil refinery on my
property.
It's all going to be worth it
man, I promise.
And look at this fucking thing.
Yeah it's pretty FUCKING decent.
Lahey: How's it feeling Rand?
It friggen hurts.
This woulda never happened
if I could have called the cops
when I wanted to.
I'm sorry Randy.
I can't explain it but
there's bigger things
at play here, you're just gonna
have to trust me.
I'm scared Mister Lahey.
Things are out of control.
How am I supposed to trust you?
Trust is the only thing we have
left Randy.
Look there's going to be a
bodyguard here in about an hour.
Safest place for you to be
is right here with me.
A body guard like the movies?
Yeah, something like that.
Listen why don't we get
you in your bed
I can make you feel
more comfortable.
I'm not ready for that Mister
Lahey.
I'm really confused about
my feelings right now.
I'm just going to sleep on the
couch.
Okay, suit yourself.
What a fucking day! Ahh...
Ricky: Bubbles you built
the greatest honey oil factory
in the history of the world man,
I can't fucking WAIT to cook
tomorrow!
[door opening]
Hey Coconut, how ya feeling bud?
Hey mon, I have one
question to ask.
Did me bird suffer?
Ricky: Definitely didn't suffer
I mean that thing spins at about
nine hundred rip ems and it
probably got sucked into it
head first and he just got
shredded instantly into these
little tiny...
Bubbles: Ricky you...! My god.
No Coconut I guarantee ya
he didn't suffer,
I know that for a fact.
Now I don't know if you realize
this
but Taco's a hero!
A hero? Come on man
how can de bird be a hero man?
He's just a bird.
Oh no, I mean if he didn't
have this tragedy befall upon
him
and he didn't get SUCKED
into that air conditioner and
completely pulverized the
insides of it with his poor
little bird body...
we wouldn't be in this position
to... to save Sunnyvale from the
clutches of evil.
Yeah mon.
You know we owe that
all to Taco, boys.
Oh I'm gonna miss him.
So am I. Sorry Coconut.
Yeah mon.
Look I don't know how we're
going to do it yet but
I promise you, I promise you
we're going to honour that brave
little son of a whore and the
sacrifice that he made.
Yeah mon.
To Taco, boys!
[In unison] To Taco!
Here little buddy,
do a shooter for Taco.
Ricky...
Well boys I'd love to sit around
and get wasted with you guys but
unfortunately I've got to go
be a bodyguard for drunkie
for the rest of the night.
That's...that's on me man.
All right.
Bubbles: Julian?
What?
Git yer arse on a swivel bud.
♪♪
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