Top Gear (2002–…): Season 30, Episode 2 - Episode #30.2 - full transcript

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to Top Gear.

We're still here working from home
at Television Centre! Come on.

CHEERING

We've still got our
very select audience,

and Fred still can't walk
under a low bridge.

This is your worst nightmare,
isn't it?

No big crowd to laugh at your jokes.

Phil were laughing! He loved it,
Phil there. He loved it. One.

Anyway, we've got a great show
for you tonight.

The big man races a jet man.



We've got a beautiful new Ferrari.

And we've got you prancing around
in a rented tux

pretending you're James Bond.

Yes, we have, because there's
a new Bond film out later this year,

and that got us thinking -
if you wanted a genuine Bond car

in your life, how do you get one?

Well, shake yourself a martini,

and enjoy Top Gear's guide
to buying a Bond car.

You expect me to talk?

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die.

For nearly 60 years,
James Bond has been saving the day

from behind the wheel of some
of the most iconic cars

the world has ever seen.

And would you believe it?



We were lucky enough to bring
a whole bunch of them together

in our very own Bond bunker.

Oh...my God.

What?!
Me eyes are just everywhere.

This is mega.

Straight away, DB5.

That is the OG right there.

It's like your childhood in a room,
isn't it?

The Lotus submarine Esprit,
look at that! The submarine!

Shall we have a little walk round?
Yeah. Yeah.

Which way do you want to go?
I want to have a look at the BMW

that's actually a kit car
underneath.

All this...
Yeah.

..and you want to start with
that Beemer? Yeah, because I want...

The wheel base is a bit wrong
underneath. Oh, God. Come on.

Oh, yes, from props department
replicas like the Z8

to stunt prep specials like Aston
Martin's Vanquish and DB10...

..these are some very special cars.

Isn't this one of the best
cars ever? Forget Bond?

It is stunning, this thing.

I reckon that car could
make YOU look good.

Do you know what? I hate to say it,
boys - for a shape,

I prefer that.

That is the car. I love that.
Living Daylights. Love it.

These Aston Martins are just
magnificent. Yeah.

Oh! DBS. Come on.

Beautiful!

Name the Bond that drove this.

Ooh! Lazenby.

Yes. Get in!

OHMSS. I know me stuff! OHMSS.

That's the one for me, the one
with the Spiro Jump in it.

Look at that!

He goes, "You ain't going to jump
that, boy,"

and he goes, "I sure am, boy."

Vroom! Fantastic.
Can we open the door?

It's got a plaque inside.
Oh, I can see it.

"Driven by James Bond in the movie
Man With The Golden Gun."

How cool is that?!
How good's that?

These are the actual cars.

Boys, do you think
I could sit in this one?

No.

There's no-one about. No.

I'm in, lads.

Oh!

God, these are sensational.
Look at this!

HE MIMICS ENGINE NOISE

Every one is a priceless
museum piece...

Look at that!

It's just history, innit?

..and each played its part

in enticing generations
of loyal fans...

Look at this! This is it.

..to the magic of James Bond.

Don't touch it!
I'm touching it, son!

I'll never get the chance again.

In fact, the only one the magic
hadn't worked on was Flintoff.

I have got a confession here, lads.

I love the cars. Yes! I love them,
I think unbelievable,

but I just don't get James Bond.

What do you mean you don't get
James Bond? What's not to get?

He's James Bond.
He's the ultimate secret agent.

But he's not, is he? Why?

Do you know who the best
special agent is? Go on. Who?

Well, nobody knows, because special
agents keep it under their hat.

Oh, God. They don't walk into places
and go... Fred.

"Oh, the name's James Bond." "Oh,
he's here, lads. Get rid of him."

You're overthinking James Bond.
Yeah.

You can't overthink James Bond.
You've just got to go with it.

Don't let Flintoff put you off.
Bond is brilliant,

and so are his cars.

So let's kick off our buyer's guide
with the good news

that there are proper Bond cars
out there

that could be yours
for sensible money.

Now, what better place to start
than the start?

With the original, the affordable
Sunbeam Alpine.

Oh, yes, this was the very first
Bond car,

the Genesis of things to come.

MUSIC: James Bond Theme

1962's Dr No.

The late, great Sir Sean Connery
is at the wheel,

and he's about to have
his very first car chase.

James Bond is driving along,
enjoying the sunshine,

he looks in the rear-view mirror.

"Ooh, what's that in the back there?

"A couple of rotters in a hearse."

With a few dubious sound effects...

TYRES SCREECH EXCESSIVELY

..and way too much steering...

HORN HONKS

..Bond sneaks under
a conveniently-placed crane,

leaving the baddies
to plunge off a cliff,

and burst into flames.

I think they were on their way
to a funeral.

Amazing!

And that, my friends, was the very
first Bond car chase.

Simpler times.

And the Alpine is, in truth,
a simple car.

It's got four cylinders,
and 80 brake horsepower,

which even by '60s standards
was slow.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is 007mph.

But it looks great, you're not going
to get a speeding ticket,

it's a proper piece of Bond history,
and it doesn't cost the Earth.

You can get a decent one
for just under ten grand,

and yeah, it might rust a bit,

and if you're getting chased by
baddies, let's hope they're walking.

But that's not important, is it?

What's important is this is the car
that started it all.

You want to buy a Bond car
on a budget?

Buy the original.

Very nice, but no.

If you want a genuine Bond car
for sensible money

that's actually good to drive,
you want one of these -

an Alfa Romeo GTV6.

The film was Octopussy.

Sir Roger Moore was at the wheel
evading the chasing police

with some proper driving in
what still is a fabulous car.

I've never driven one of these
before. It's an absolute honey.

It really is!

You've got Alfa's glorious,
wonderful-sounding V6 up front...

..perfect weight distribution,
I've got a transaxle layout.

That means the engine's in the front
but the gearbox is out back,

so I've got 50-50
weight distribution.

You know what? This thing won
rallies and won

touring car championships
back in the day.

It's a thoroughbred.

Although not, admittedly,
an especially reliable one.

It comes from that slightly
ropey part of Alfa's history.

So they do rust
if they're exposed to

anything other than bright sunlight.

And the upshot is,

if you want one that's more MI6
than stuck on the M6,

you're looking at about 30 grand.

But for something that drives
this well,

with this kind of Bond heritage,

oh, yeah, that's got to be worth it.

All right, I'm no expert,

but if you really want a bit of
00fun on a budget...

Bond, sideways.

..forget Octopussy. You want...

..A View To A Kill.

It's the middle of Paris,

Sir Rog has nicked himself
a Renault 11 taxi,

and as he races through the streets,

he chops off the top,

and then the back.

And what the big man created is
nothing short of a cut-price...

..masterpiece.

Tell you what - of all the Bond cars
you could be in,

I don't think I'd swap it.
This is so much fun!

I don't need guns.
I don't need oil slicks.

All I need is half a car.

Oh! Whoa!

OK, the Renault 5.5's handling
is a little bit lively,

but when a whole one from the
Continent will only set you back

1,000 euros, I call that
a Bond car bargain.

Have a think about this.
If you buy it in France,

cut it in half in France,
bring it back on the Eurotunnel,

you only have to pay the price
of a motorbike. It's dirt cheap!

This car makes sense.

The Renault 5.5
Maybe this Bond lad's all right!

Maybe he's got it right.
This is fun.

Oh!

Well, more fun than being stuck
with Harris the super fan,

at any rate.

My favourite thing about Bond car
chases, though, is the stuff

going on in the background.
They're like car time capsules.

From Octopussy, favourite bit,
BMW 633 CSI

going the other way
over the level crossing

as a police car comes the other way.
You picked that out?

Yeah. Dear me.

CAR APPROACHES

What the...?

That is brilliant.
That is absolutely brilliant!

Hey-hey!

He's not fully in control of that.
I'm just going to stand here.

Oh!

Oh! Hey-hey!

Oh! Oh.

Don't worry, Chris, I've got this.
That is superb.

That's one of the best ever
Bond chase sequences, isn't it?

And as well, now he's getting
into the Bond thing.

He is. He's smiling!

I tell you what -
this is so much fun.

Believe it or not,
the back end's a bit twitchy.

Yeah! What a car.

Nerdy fact about that sequence,
right?

Nerdy fact - have you noticed
that when that thing gets T-boned

to make it go in half,
the car that goes in is a BMW 323i,

and the next shot is a Renault 20?

I remember you saying that to me
over a pint once.

Nobody's ever said that
in the history of man. No-one.

One other weird thing,
being technical -

where's the fuel tank?

Just behind t'seat.
Yeah.

No, but the car in the film...
I must admit...

Come on, you must've thought that.

I did think that when I watched it,
and that was as a child.

But without this car,
that would not be the same film.

It wouldn't be. Can we have a go
in that? That is a piece of genius.

Can you have a go, Patrick? Yeah.

You didn't think I'd leave
you two out, would you?

There's a couple more of these. No!

Oh, yeah.

Oh! Come on.

Oh, yes, time to show that
the Renault 11 is the best

of the budget Bond cars
with a bit of high-end motorsport.

My gift to you boys -
two laps round Paris.

I wondered what that were!

Prop department pulled it out
the bag.

Je m'appelle Bond.

James Bond.

Forget Formula 1, real driver skill
is in half-car racing.

Five, four, three, two, one.

HOOTER

LAUGHTER

Oh, this is fantastic fun!

Whoa, here we go!

Here we go, look at this, sideways.

Bit tricky round here.

That's him gone.

With McGuinness' early lead
quickly foiled by the Renault's

surprise handling...

Oh, God!

..the inaugural half-car Grand Prix
had almost immediately become

a two-horse race,
with Flintoff just in the lead.

Where is he? Crazy Harris!

Come on!

Where is he?!

Oh, that's a good drift from Fred!

PADDY YELLS

This is so much fun!

You can keep all your B...

Oh, no, he's here! Oh, he's off.

Yes, baby!

Harris has done me.

ENGINE REVS
This is hilarious!

One lap to go, and on the streets
of Paris, Harris had just got ahead.

Oh, get Chris,
he's proper sideways now.

He's really excited.

Then we'll back it in,
bit of oversteer, catch him.

As they say in France,
le fight was on.

Come on, Renault 11,
don't let me down.

Afraid I'm going to get a whack
from...

Oh, I'm all over the place.

Come on. Coming through!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, spray everywhere!

FREDDIE LAUGHS

I'm not getting beaten by Flintoff.

Oh, no! No!

Got him!

Victory!

Interesting line.

Interesting line.

What's he doing?

Having a shocker, Mr Bond.

THEY LAUGH

HE HUMS

Bonjour!

We've been expecting you, Mr Bond.

LAUGHTER

Fair enough, Flintoff nailed it.

The Renault 5.5 really is
the ultimate budget Bond car.

But our buyer's guide
doesn't end there,

because if you're prepared to spend
a little more,

then the world of 007's motors

suddenly becomes
a lot more glamorous.

Oh, now we're talking!

The Lotus Esprit. What a car!

Even if you're not a Bond geek,
you can't argue with this one.

This is a proper British legend.

And it was treated to one
of the all-time great chases.

1977's The Spy Who Loved Me,
Bond is on the Sardinian coast,

dicing with a baddie
on a motorbike.

He gets rid of him,

then gets tailed by one of
the best Bond villains...

James! Yes, I know, don't tell me.

..Jaws.

If that wasn't enough,
once he's been seen off,

a helicopter gunship joins
the fray, and as we all know,

the only way to get away
from one of them

is by turning into a submarine.

This is one of the most iconic
moments in movie history.

Now, a regular Esprit, not that good
in an underwater situation.

Even in a bit of drizzle, there's
water everywhere in this car.

It's starting to leak now.

But that doesn't stop it being
an absolute cracker to drive.

ENGINE REVS

Come on!

Go, go, go!

The early Esprits weren't quick,
just making about 160 horsepower,

but it's a Lotus - it's light,
it's nimble,

the perfect car for getting
away from baddies on motorbikes.

Oh! This'll out-manoeuvre anything.

Oh! Nimble.

Pressing on t'pedals
at the same time!

Oh! Size 12 feet and Lotus Esprits -
that is not a match made in heaven.

And you should probably know
that a decent S1 Esprit like this

will set you back about 70 grand.

But if you're rocking a pair of
size nines and looking for

a proper classic, trust me,
you will not be disappointed.

ENGINE REVS

Just listen to it!

Oh, my word,
this was wasted on Bond.

Absolutely love it.

And so he should.
The Lotus Esprit is a fine choice,

but it's also a bit of
an obvious one.

What if you're after something
a bit more unusual?

The Toyota 2000GT...

..the undisputed star of
You Only Live Twice,

and quite possibly the coolest
Japanese car ever made.

Get down!

OK, the 2000GT doesn't do
a whole lot on screen.

Basically, it slides around Tokyo
for a bit,

keeping a Toyota Crown at bay,
and Bond is only a passenger in it.

But even though its time
in the spotlight was brief,

for the real Bond car geeks
out there,

it was still utterly fascinating.

How's that for Japanese efficiency?

Just a drop in the ocean.

Now, you might have spotted that the
car you see in You Only Live Twice

is a convertible,
but this is a coupe.

Good story there.

The only convertible 2000GTs
ever made were for the Bond film,

because 6'2" Sean Connery
didn't fit into one of these,

so Toyota said they would chop
the roofs off

purely to save 007's hair.

Seems a bit brutal to me, and also,
I have to say,

this coupe, to me,
looks a whole lot prettier.

Which is just as well,

because this is the version
that you can actually buy

and it has to be said, it is superb.

This was the first
proper Japanese sports car.

It was designed to prove to the
world that Japan could do something

other than build very reliable,
ordinary, boring cars.

It was expensive,
but, boy, did it prove a point.

It had a two-litre straight-six
making 150 horsepower,

and with an aluminium body sat
on magnesium alloy wheels

to keep the weight down, it was good
for 0-60 in eight seconds,

and a top speed of 137mph.

Back then, that was seriously quick.

This car was built in conjunction
with Yamaha,

so all the wood in this cabin
is Yamaha piano wood.

That's why it looks better
than any wood I've ever seen

in a car interior before or since.

Cor! This is a little piece
of jewellery, this car.

And it has to be said,
it's an expensive one at that.

If you want a 2000GT in your life,
and believe me, you really do,

it'll set you back about £800,000...

..which does sound like a lot
for a Toyota,

just not, perhaps, for this one.

What an absolutely gorgeous machine.

Wow.

Look at that!

OK, I'll give it to you.

That is nice, isn't it?

For someone of our age, that is
the iconic Bond car, isn't it?

It's just beautiful.
Do you actually fit in it?

Not quite,
but I can just about manage.

Now, I'm a bit embarrassed
to ask you, Chris,

I've no idea what your car is.
Toyota 2000GT.

Means nothing to you, does it?
That's a Toyota?!

That's a Toyota, and...
But it's beautiful!

..the current James Bond,
Mr Craig himself,

has pronounced this to be
the greatest Bond car ever.

I'm not questioning Daniel Craig
when it comes to Bond cars,

but surely the ultimate Bond car
has got to be British.

Yes, Mr Flintoff,
you're absolutely right.

MUSIC: James Bond Theme

Of course it's the one and only,
the iconic Aston Martin DB5.

Consider me shaken and very stirred.

007 and the DB5 go together

like vodka martini
and a casual fistfight.

It first turned up
in 1964's Goldfinger.

Fully equipped by Q Branch,
it had smokescreens, oil slicks,

machine guns, bulletproof shields.

It even had an ejector seat.

MAN YELLS

Handy!

The car was an instant icon.

Bond has kept on driving it
for over 50 years,

and it's still doing the business
in his latest adventure,

No Time To Die.

The DB5 really is the best
of the best,

and Aston Martin have just made it
even better.

And that's because this car,
the one I'm driving right now,

isn't any old Aston Martin DB5.

Oh, no, sir.

This is officially the Aston Martin
DB5 Goldfinger Continuation,

the brand-new old DB5.

Oh, and it's so good!

What you get is a 1960s DB5 -
same engine, same gearbox,

same everything,

but now built to a level of
precision that was just

impossible to achieve
back in the day.

This is the DB5 remastered,
and it's better than ever.

It's got 280 horsepower,

so when you put your foot down,
it goes like The Living Daylights.

Oh-ho!

It's quick, but mainly,
it's suave, it's sophisticated.

It makes you feel like Bond.

Although feeling like Bond
does come with a couple of issues.

First, the price, because this DB5
will cost you £3.3 million.

You heard it right.
Pick Granny up off the floor.

Secondly, you can't officially
drive it on the roads, either.

But, as I said before,
this isn't any old Aston Martin.

And to show you what this
DB5 Goldfinger Continuation

can really do, what we need
is a couple of baddies.

What's that I see
in my rear-view mirror?

A couple of henchmen!

THEY GIGGLE

AS CONNERY: Gentlemen,
do you expect me to talk?

Paddy, you do literally nothing
but talk.

NORMAL VOICE: Can you just do me
one favour

and just give me the line back
for once?

No, Mr Bond, we expect you to die.

Love it!

Right, just get on with it,
and catch 00Bolton here.

FREDDIE MUMBLES

Right, let's give them a taste
of what the Aston can do.

Have some of that oil, boys!

That's right...

Oil! It's oil!

..for the first time ever,

you can now buy a DB5 fully loaded
with Q Branch gadgets.

Skid on that, baby.

What else have you got
up your sleeve? Come on, McGuinness.

Sorry, come on, 007.

Have a bit of smoke, gentlemen.

Ha-ha-ha!

HE CHOKES

MUFFLED: Get in character, you!

Have my smoke, boys!

FREDDIE MUMBLES

Jaws has suffered a wardrobe!
He's lost his hair.

Apart from the ejector seat,

the Goldfinger Continuation
has got it all.

The revolving numberplates,
the battering ram,

the bulletproof shield.

OK. Watch this for stunt driving.

MANIACAL LAUGHTER

That's some of the greatest
stunt driving ever in a Bond film!

Time for a taste of lead salad.

Oh, yes, this DB5
is even packing the machine guns.

Well, kind of.

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!

Guns!

Has he got guns?

I was going to play it properly,
but look in the mirror!

He thinks he's shooting us!

THEY LAUGH

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!

So there you have it - the Top Gear
guide to buying a Bond car ends

not just with the best car
in Bond history,

nor even the best car
in cinema history.

For me, this might just be
the best car in history.

The name's Bond.

James Bond.

What's going on?
Paddy thinks he's James Bond!

Jeremy Clarkson will be
shaking his head.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's stunning.

That was...brilliant.

Talk about childhood dreams,
and I'll tell you what -

seeing you two as Jaws and Nick Nack
has made my year.

That was genius!

What about the stunt,
retrieving the wig off the runway,

body on the line,
scratched me hands? I liked that!

Popped the wig back in
your dressing room after.

LAUGHTER

I loved it!

It's not about us.
You are so desperate to be Bond.

Christopher, Christopher,
you don't choose to be Bond.

Bond chooses to be you.

Oh, God.
Deal with it, my friend.

The Man With The Plastic Gun.

Correct!

The way I see it, Daniel Craig's
hanging up the old tuxedo.

Let's get a Bolton Bond in.
That's the way forward.

Anyway, can we talk about this DB5?
Please do. Beautiful car.

Yes. Love the gadgets.

It's three million quid!

A lot of money. Three million quid,
and you can't drive it on the roads.

You can't? You can't drive it.

It's not road legal,
but spending a day in it,

you're in a very, very special car.

It's absolutely beautiful,

and I was very lucky
to get to drive it.

It is beautiful,

but it's time to move on
and talk about electric SUVs.

Audi, Mercedes, Hyundai -
they're all doing them right now.

Problem is,
they're all a bit boring,

but now there's a new electric SUV
that sounded more my cup of tea.

This is the Odyssey 21...

..an electric SUV that's anything
but boring.

Oh-ho-ho!

Listen to the noise of it.

ENGINE ROARS

Got 550 horsepower. You get to 60
in less than five seconds.

And it'll do that on anything!

Whoa!

Genuinely, they do call this
an electric SUV...

..but this SUV wasn't made
for the school run.

This was made for racing.

Ha-ha! Course it was.

Specifically, it was made for racing
in a brand-new motorsport

called Extreme E.

Launching this year, it'll see a
whole grid of these Odyssey buggies

battling it out in exotic locations
all over the world.

And the talent's queuing up already.

Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton
are running teams.

Seb Loeb driving.

Jenson Button, he's doing both.

Oh, it's proper racer
champion stuff.

But what makes this a bit different
is that they'll be racing

through some of the most damaged
ecosystems on the planet...

..across deserts, glaciers,
even rainforests,

in a bid to raise awareness
of climate change.

To me, it's like educating people
on elephant poaching

by shooting a load of them.

Extreme E, though,
they've thought about that.

They're not flying cars and kit
all over the world.

They get from race to race
on a cargo ship.

They're doing eco education
programmes.

It's carbon negative.

Even Greta would like this.

Basically, this is ethical Fairtrade
organic motorsport.

And then there's the cars
themselves.

Obviously, it's electric,
so there's no fume-y emissions,

but there's more. The bodywork -
it's made of plant fibre!

Listen to this - the tyres
are made of bits of dandelion.

Seriously! Dandelion.

And underneath all that greenery,
it's still a serious piece of kit.

The battery's made by Williams. It
sends power to a motor on each axle,

so it's got four-wheel drive...

..and twice as much torque
as a WRC car.

It's got double wishbone suspension,
which will soak up anything.

It'll get up and down
53-degree slopes.

Go on, son!

Is there anything this car can't do?

Actually, there is,

and unfortunately, the thing this
car can't do is go very far.

Oh, come on. I'm out of juice!

You're not surprised, are you?

You drive it hard,
you get about 20 minutes.

Here we go, it's dying now.
I've got me foot on the floor.

Now I've got to plug it in
for two hours.

So what they've made here
is a fun impractical toy

that doesn't last long before
you have to charge the batteries.

What they've made
is a big one of these.

Hey! Hey!

This is just pure fun.

And the lack of range does mean that
Extreme E races are quite short.

The average F1 race runs close to
200 miles. Extreme E - 10.

Yeah, the charging thing's a pain,

but I suppose you've got to
start somewhere.

That's how progress works.

This is just the first step.

Batteries will get better,
charging'll get quicker.

And if it doesn't,
we just keep racing petrol cars.

To be fair, though, at least,
they're trying to change the game.

At every race,

they'll have a high-tech hydrogen
fuel cell generator,

producing all the clean electricity
the cars need to charge up.

It's proper future motorsport
stuff, and if nothing else,

when your Odyssey 21 is finally
charged up again,

you're definitely ready to
give it another go.

Oh-ho-ho!

Maybe Extreme E will be the next F1.

Maybe it won't.

But what it does prove is that
electric is not just for the roads

or the tracks.

Electric will get you anywhere,

as long as anywhere isn't more than
ten miles from where you started,

like, it'll get you anywhere, fast.

This thing, it's a monster.

But here's the thing - it's 2021,
and the producers were keen to

point out that when it comes to new
and unusual ways to travel quickly

over rough ground,
other options are available.

For example, jet packs.

Oh, my word! Look at it.

Yes, me and the Odyssey 21 would now
be going up against

Britain's leading and, let's face
it, probably only jetpackman,

a bloke called Richard Browning.

Richard! Freddie.
Thanks for dropping in.

That's all right.
What is that?

This is my Jet Suit.

It's five jet engines,
and it's about 1,000 horsepower.

You've got 1,000 horsepower
in your rucksack?

Yeah, if you add it all up, yeah.

What speed?

We set the world record at 85mph,

but that was over the water,
so maybe not quite that fast here,

but still pretty quick. All right,
don't make excuses already,

cos I'm going to race you now.
First to the top of the hill wins.

Yep. I'll see you at the top.
You're on.

I'm racing a Poundland Tony Stark.

With the title of all terrain
transport of the future at stake...

..the winner would be the first
to reach the wind turbine

at the top of the hill.

And while the Odyssey and I would
have to stick to the gravel tracks

on a longer route up, Richard will
be travelling as the crow flies.

JETPACK ENGINE ROARS

Oh, listen to him!

Three, two, one, go!

I'm off!

And he's off as well.

Whoa! Some jump.

Come on.

This is the weirdest thing.
I've got no idea where he is.

Better brake here.

Come on! It is so slippery.

Bit messy, a bit messy. Come on.

I'm not getting much
from these dandelion tyres.

More like dandelion and burdock,
these.

Come on. I can hear him.

JETPACK ENGINE ROARS

Oh, there he is!

Jeez! What a sight!

Well, this snow is
giving me absolutely nothing.

I don't know what it's like for him,
but I'm concentrating so hard.

Argh!

Just got no grip.

Oh, man!

No! That's going to cost me.

Come on! Where is the jet pack?

Oh, there he is!

No!

Richard and his jetpack
just had the lead

as we passed the halfway mark.

Me and the Odyssey
needed to push even harder.

Now off the snow,

and now onto the mud.

Nice, nice, nice.

Come on. Get him, get him!

Get through the gate!

Come on, get round.

I can't see him!

I can see the turbine.
Go, go, go! Come on.

Where's Jetpackman?

I can't hear him, I can't see him.

No!

No!

Oh! Well done. How was it?

Oh, that was good.
Yeah, congrats. Thank you.

Best out of three?

Oh, I'm done. I've got to go.

I've got 50% range left.

Huh?

Oh...

Come on!

Do you fancy cleaning me gutters?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, mate! That were good fun,

but I've got to say,
I'm a little bit disappointed.

I know, I lost. I'm sorry,
No, I'm not bothered about that.

I'm disappointed because you didn't
give the jetpack a whirl.

Well, I wanted to,

but the BBC insurance department
weren't too keen.

Not sure why!

What was it like
flying over the car?

Oh, it was unbelievable,
the noise of it.

And then I was racing,
and you're looking up

just trying to spot him,
and when he came across,

it's like nothing you've seen.
It was bonkers.

And he had afterburners, boys,
he had afterburners.

Afterburners, yeah. On his arms!
Mad.

I have to say, Fred, ten-mile range
aside, it's outrageous.

It really is. 550 horsepower,

0-60 under five seconds... Ooh!
..on anything.

I can't believe how big it is!
It's massive. It's massive!

Do you know what?
It's Flintoff-sized.

It's Flintoff-sized, yeah.

I can safely say that is my
favourite weekend of driving ever.

Ever. Really? Yeah.
Lovely note to end on.

Time to move on, because here's
a question we get asked a lot

on Top Gear.

"I've got 200 grand to spend.

"I want something exotic
and glamorous and Italian.

"What should I buy?"

You wouldn't believe how often
we get asked that.

Well, I reckon I knew the answer.

And so did I.
Have a look at this.

Exotic, glamorous...

..and Italian.

Say "Ciao bella," to the beautiful
new Ferrari Roma.

Eyes of Britain, you are welcome.

Drink it in, soak it up...

..luxuriate in it, because this is
the best-looking Ferrari

of the last 20 years.

Most fast cars now,
they're all a bit slatty,

and a bit scoopy,
a bit too try-hard.

Not the Roma. The Roma's
sophisticated, it's subtle.

Well, apart from the price.

The Roma starts at £170,000,

but, this being a Ferrari,

by the time you've glanced at
the options list,

you'll be over 200 grand easy.

Nothing subtle about that.

So, at this kind of price,

there should really also be
nothing subtle...

..about the way it goes.

Oh, mamma mia!

Here we go again.

What?!

That is a fast, fast pedal.

And that's because it's attached
to a 3.9 litre twin-turbo V8,

making it over 600 horsepower.

It'll get you from 0-60
in 3.2 seconds!

ENGINE ROARS

Top speed - well, Ferrari say
it will do over 199mph.

But surely, surely
if it would do 200mph they'd say so.

So, top speed, 199...and a bit.

Now, some people, Chris Harris,
might tell you that the Roma

is just a hardtop version
of Ferrari's entry-level Portofino.

But, they're wrong.

You see, I drove the Portofino
a couple of series back

and I loved it, I really loved it.

But the Roma, it's faster,

it's lighter,
it's wider, it's lower.

It's just a better car.

Not least because the Roma
has been given the latest

version of Ferrari's witchcraft
sideslip control system.

Basically, if you've got
a race track...

Woo-hoo-hoo!

..it'll help you out with the skids!

That's what we want!

TYRES SCREECH

Got it back! Come on!

Look at it as
a Help to Slide scheme.

TYRES SCREECH

Thank you, sir!

I will have another.

Ferrari calls the Roma
the new Dolce Vita.

What a machine!

And let me tell you,

for once the marketing speak
is bang on the money.

Exotic, glamorous, Italian,
great to drive.

Come on.

It's the only answer.

It isn't.

Because, why would you want
the new Dolce Vita

when you could have the original?

Meet the GTA-R 290.

Yes, it's a 1960s Alfa Romeo.

But it's also
so much more than that.

This masterpiece is the work
of a tiny company from Somerset

called Alfaholics.

It's been painstakingly built
over 3,000 hours,

and it is...exquisite.

ENGINE ROARS

TYRES SCREECH

HE LAUGHS

This is what's called a restomod
which, for proper supercar money,

is a classic car restored,
upgraded, and improved

by modern engineering know-how

to create a tailor-made,
pocket-sized slice of perfection.

Out the front there,
I've got the most glorious twin cam

four-cylinder engine with
240 horsepower.

Woo!

I don't care if the top speed's
only 150mph, or not even 150mph.

It's only got a 2.2-litre engine.
But listen to it.

ENGINE ROARS

TYRES SCREECH

The noise.

Have you ever heard
a four-cylinder sound like that?

MAX ENGINE REVS BEFORE GEAR SHIFT

Do you know what?

It sounds better
than most modern V8s!

MUSIC: Gimme Some Lovin'
by The Spencer Davis Group

And I've got real-wheel drive, I've
got no ABS, no traction control,

no stability systems.

This is absolute analogue driving.

This is to driving
what a record player is to music.

# And I'm so glad we made it... #

Wow!

# So glad we made it

# You gotta gimme some lovin'

# Gimme some lovin'... #

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

What a machine!

# Gimme some lovin' every day. #

I know, supercar money for
effectively hot-hatch horsepower.

It's punchy.

But what you need to know is there's
no car that's more enjoyable,

more life-affirming to drive
than this one.

Honestly,
I have not driven many cars

that are more fun than this.

Oh, circus must be in town.

CHRIS LAUGHS

Now we're talking, McGuinness.

CHRIS GIGGLES

Paddy. Ah, charming.

It's beautiful. Yeah.

Isn't it the most perfectly
proportioned car ever made?

Gorgeous little thing,
but you're not seriously telling me

that's the 200-grand car?

Well, actually, it's not £200,000.
Thank God.

No, it's £250,000. Ooh.
This is 250 grand.

Whoa, hang on a minute, before you
do things like that, warn me.

£250,000?

A few years ago, they'd build you
one for 200, but now they're

using even funkier metals, more
beautiful materials, so now 250.

250?!

If Noddy wins the lottery,
fair enough,

but after that it's ridiculous.

And this one actually is 325.
Oh, wow!

It's got titanium
suspension components.

300 and what?

325.

That's ridiculous.

This is just a couple of quid
over 220, this. OK.

But just look at them. Come on.

This here is a better-looking car
than that car.

Oh, come on. Christopher.
It looks like an Aston Martin.

It doesn't look like a Ferrari.

A Ferrari should
look like a Ferrari.

Is that a bad thing,
it looking a bit like an Aston?

Are you going to go, "Excuse me, he
looks a bit like George Clooney"?

"Yes, I do."

No-one's ever said
you look like George Clooney ever.

Anyhow, how powerful?

240 horsepower.

600, my friend.

Half the weight.

Under 800kg.

Power to weight ratio means
I'm just about there.

I reckon it's nearly as quick
as that.

Wow. It is.

It's finally happened.

What? You've lost the plot.
No, I haven't.

Only one way to sort it.

Science.

BEEP
Lovely.

Why have you just locked the car?

To show Harris just how mad
you'd have to be to choose

the Alfa over the Roma,
it was time for a simple test.

Half a mile up the runway,
round the cone, and back again.

Winner? Come on!

It's obvious.

OK, is the £325,000 car ready?

Yes, Patrick.

Bring it.

Three, two, one,

go!

Oooh!

PADDY LAUGHS

Bye-bye, little cute Alfa!

Whoar! It's a rocket, is the Roma.

It's a rocket! But who cares?!

Wow. This thing is rapid!

ENGINE APPROACHES MAXIMUM REVS
Listen to the noise!

Look at the majesty of it!

Ooooh! Off we go!

THEY LAUGH

It's understeer central!

CHRIS LAUGHS

Here we go.

That'll do us. Left him for dust.

This is how you lose a drag race.

TYRES SCREECH

He's skidding about.

Let's see what he says.

Welcome.

I don't know what you've proved
there other than that I look better.

Well, I've proved that this car
is far superior to that.

It's just left you for dead.

Superior means what?

Faster.

Clearly what McGuinness needed
was to see what the Alfa was

really made of first-hand.

This is cosy, isn't it, Pad?

Oh, God.

How do I put Radio 2 on?

It doesn't have a radio.

Doesn't have a radio?!

ENGINE REVS

That's aggressive, Chris.

Now, Patrick,
this is what it's all about.

Now...

MUSIC: Black Betty
by Ram Jam

Oh, dear me.

Come on!

It's the best car
you can buy for the money.

I mean, it's 325 grand!

We can't even have a conversation!

Since the passenger seat
wasn't quite doing the trick...

I'm feeling nauseous!

..in one last bid
to make him see sense...

Oh!

..I came up with
a little test of my own.

OK, I bet you that if you manage
to not crack a smile

driving this gorgeous machine...
Yeah.

..I'll present the rest
of the show in my underpants.

Wow.

And, of course,
if you do crack a smile... Yeah.

..then you present the show
in your underpants.

Oh.

Do you know what, can I firstly
just say I can't believe

we're using the word underpants.

That shows our age.

But all right.

TYRES SCREECH

Right, because I know that you're
going to question any decision

I make about the smile,
or what constitutes a smile...

Well, I've got to say... I've got
with me a smileometer. What?

A smileometer.

Can you actually smile, by the way?
No, I don't do much smiling.

I've never seen you smile,
funnily enough.

Just drive it... Are we going?
..and soak it up. It's gorgeous.

Here we go.

MUSIC: Good Lovin'
by The Rascals

# One, two, three
Good love... #

ENGINE ROARS

Listen to that noise.
Listen to that noise!

I've got to say, it's a different
experience when you're sat here.

# Good love... #

And you're engaged with it
and you're controlling it.

# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #

Whoa! Watch them.

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... #

Love it, Paddy!

Love it!

Now you feel so much better
than driving that Ferrari.

Listen, I'll agree with you,
I feel alive.

Yeah!

# Good love... #

And he's sliding it.

Paddy is sliding it!

CHRIS LAUGHS

I'm not smiling,
I'm just a bit bemused.

Yes, he is!

It surprised me.

You are smiling!
That's what I'm saying.

You are smiling and you...
Oh, and he's off.

No, I'm not! No, I'm not!

Whoa!

THEY LAUGH

That wasn't a smile.

CHRIS LAUGHS

We've had, I think,
five or six big smiles.

Where have I...?
We've had a howl with laughter.

You're in your pants, son.

What are you on about?
The Alfa Romeo has rendered you...

There's been no howling laughter.
You were howling with laughter.

I've told you,
there's different gauges of smiling!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fair play.

You are a man of your word.

Can we just please
get on with it very quickly?

No, no, no,
there's no need to rush here.

There's a lady up there
shut her curtains.

But on the plus side
that fella's opened his.

Hello, mate!
LAUGHTER

Ho-ho! Enjoy!

Now, look here,
which of these two would you have?

Well, I'll never say this to you
again, Chris, but I want to know

more about that car from you.

Firstly... Yeah?

..what's the power-to-weight ratio?

Well, it's called the 290.
It's just under 300 horsepower.

Come on, boys. I'm cold.
Hang on, Pad. I'm cold...

Is it true it's got...?

..and things are shrinking.
LAUGHTER

Please.
Is it true it's got 300mm brakes?

It has. Has it got...? It has. When
are you interested in that ever?

I'm just trying to educate myself.

This is a car show.
This is a car show.

Get on to that against that!
Come on!

LAUGHTER

So which one would you have?
Come on, give us an answer, Fred.

Pick that. Let's get on with it.

You know I love Ferrari.

Yeah.

But there'll be a new one
along in 18 months' time.

A valid point, Andrew.

And I am a sucker for a classic.

Chris. Yeah?

I'm going with the Alfa.
Thank you! What a result.

I'm going with the Alfa.
What a result.

Thank you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Good, that's that settled.

We're back next week with a big
off-road expedition across

the Highlands of Scotland,
and I'll have my trousers back on.

Sorry about that, mate.

See you then, good night!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE