Tigtone (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Tigtone and His Fellowship Of - full transcript
Tigtone, who always quests alone, is forced by the King/Queen to lead a fellowship of fantasy adventurers tasked to stop a chicken necromancer from taking over the world. A strange creature called Helpy gives him a hand - and a leg.
Dear Journal, I need more ink.
Eh?
What is that helpfully
bizarre thing, I wonder?
"Anyway, Journal,
about that cave..."
Aah!
I quest with none other
than my own cunning,
strength, and name.
Tigtone!
I returned the long jewel
to the kingdom of Propecia
where it belongs, to KingQueen.
Thank you, Tigtone.
And for that,
they threw me a chicken dinner!
Everyone, shut up.
I'm going to inhale
this chicken.
This chicken has no soul.
We taste nothing in this meat.
Lore Mastra, explain.
According to this book...
Tasteless meat means
the legend of Wadsor is true.
Wadsor the Conquerator
the Necromancer has returned!
I'm back!
He is using
the souls of our chickens
to recharge his rock army.
My Repli-Rocks!
His only weakness
is to stab his brain.
Which he keeps locked
deep within his lair.
But not a regular stab.
You must use the Reverse Dagger,
capable of stabbing
the dead to life,
and the other way around.
What say you to that?
Is this a quest?
- Indeed.
- Indeed, indeed.
Then I alone as always,
by my lonesome,
shall take this single quest,
for this single questerer,
and bear down upon it by myself.
Well, then this is
a good a quest
as any to make use
of our fellowship.
And that fellowship is...
Poach-Or.
Friend to most animals,
hunter of the rest.
Axeanne.
I'm even bigger in person.
And Redundart.
An elf.
What part of "I fellowship
alone" don't you understand?
None part.
Fast travels,
Tigtone and friends.
These heroes, Journal,
they don't even have journals.
And at this rate,
we'll never get there on foot.
Poach-Or,
harness that Ride-ocerous
if you're such
a great animal master.
I can try.
I didn't say try.
Come on.
Come to Poach-Or.
Come on.
Ugh.
Poach-Or will poach no more.
Remember, Tigtone,
you have the Reverse Dagger.
Whoo!
Now thatwas really something.
Do it again!
Ohh!
It must only work
once per dead person.
Then we must honor
his last wish,
to ride that Ride-ocerous.
- Stop!
- Oh!
We are arrived at Wadsor's lair.
But the hidden door
isn't on the map.
I'll show you how to use a map.
Ah.
Hmm.
We must make camp-camp here
while I think of a way
to find the key.
What?!
Then don't stand here
flapping your ribs at me,
flap your swords at Tigtone!
You're right, Journal,
something to take my mind
off this main quest
for a while is what I need.
Tigtone, the well
has been poisoned.
Save my sick twin sister
from the bottom of it.
A side quest!
Hyah!
We need Tigtone!
Hiss, hiss.
That means "Thank you"
where I come from, Tigtone.
Hiss, hiss.
The key.
How do you kill that
which is already bone?
The Reverse Dagger!
I'm alive! Thank you, Tigtone.
Ah, I'm alive! Ahh!
Hand over that key.
But what about Axeanne?
You can stab her back to live.
I can only stab her back once,
and I'd hate to waste it now.
Ahh!
The pendulum is mightier
than the sword-ulum, Tigtone!
Redundart, use yourself
as pendulum bait.
Because you'll bring me back
with the Reverse Dagger,
should I die.
Your companion was a joke.
And now he's dead.
The joke is on you! I agree.
Ah, finally, questing alone,
as nature intended me.
Two pressure plates? Ugh.
Why didn't I bring
more companions?
Remember, Tigtone,
dungeons have prisoners,
and prisoners have body weight.
Use a prisoner.
Of course.
This thing weighs
enough to help me.
Please chop my arms
and legs off.
- Oh...
- Do it!
Thank you, fellow stranger.
Are you not stung by that?
Of course, but I regenerate.
And because you helped me,
I'll do that to you.
Help you, that is.
Let's go.
...and so Wadsor trapped me
and has been feeding off
my life juices ever since.
Mm-hmm. Here we are.
Oh, we shall both stand
on these pressure plates
to open the door.
You certainly do come in handy.
I think I'll call you... Helpy.
But my name is...
Hyah!
Thank you, Helpy.
Wait!
I want him to know it was me.
My energy supply.
My energy supply creature.
Tigtone?!
Wadsor's fully charged
Repli-Rocks.
Damn it.
Shh. You distract him
while I stab his brain.
Right to his face.
Hey, Wadsor!
I'm full of life juices.
Come and get me.
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Now!
No mortal blade can kill me.
I'm undead.
And I am no mortal blade.
And I am Tigtone!
Oh, so that's your name?
Proudfully nodding
at a job well done.
Me too, Tigtone.
Me Helpy.
And so to honor Tigtone
for saving Propecia
from tastelessness, we throw
this second chicken dinner.
The honor is all ours.
And this is Helpy.
I serve the Greater Good.
Cheers to whatever that is.
And to the Repli-Rocks,
our new friends.
The legend goes on to say
they enjoy eating
as much as we all do.
All thanks to Tigtone.
Thank you, Tigtone. - Huzzah!
Dear Journal,
ah, yes, Helpy
is who that thing is.
And thus fellowship
is now in my inventory.
But worry not.
For I am still, as was before,
as was always be...
Tigtone!
And Helpy.
Eh?
What is that helpfully
bizarre thing, I wonder?
"Anyway, Journal,
about that cave..."
Aah!
I quest with none other
than my own cunning,
strength, and name.
Tigtone!
I returned the long jewel
to the kingdom of Propecia
where it belongs, to KingQueen.
Thank you, Tigtone.
And for that,
they threw me a chicken dinner!
Everyone, shut up.
I'm going to inhale
this chicken.
This chicken has no soul.
We taste nothing in this meat.
Lore Mastra, explain.
According to this book...
Tasteless meat means
the legend of Wadsor is true.
Wadsor the Conquerator
the Necromancer has returned!
I'm back!
He is using
the souls of our chickens
to recharge his rock army.
My Repli-Rocks!
His only weakness
is to stab his brain.
Which he keeps locked
deep within his lair.
But not a regular stab.
You must use the Reverse Dagger,
capable of stabbing
the dead to life,
and the other way around.
What say you to that?
Is this a quest?
- Indeed.
- Indeed, indeed.
Then I alone as always,
by my lonesome,
shall take this single quest,
for this single questerer,
and bear down upon it by myself.
Well, then this is
a good a quest
as any to make use
of our fellowship.
And that fellowship is...
Poach-Or.
Friend to most animals,
hunter of the rest.
Axeanne.
I'm even bigger in person.
And Redundart.
An elf.
What part of "I fellowship
alone" don't you understand?
None part.
Fast travels,
Tigtone and friends.
These heroes, Journal,
they don't even have journals.
And at this rate,
we'll never get there on foot.
Poach-Or,
harness that Ride-ocerous
if you're such
a great animal master.
I can try.
I didn't say try.
Come on.
Come to Poach-Or.
Come on.
Ugh.
Poach-Or will poach no more.
Remember, Tigtone,
you have the Reverse Dagger.
Whoo!
Now thatwas really something.
Do it again!
Ohh!
It must only work
once per dead person.
Then we must honor
his last wish,
to ride that Ride-ocerous.
- Stop!
- Oh!
We are arrived at Wadsor's lair.
But the hidden door
isn't on the map.
I'll show you how to use a map.
Ah.
Hmm.
We must make camp-camp here
while I think of a way
to find the key.
What?!
Then don't stand here
flapping your ribs at me,
flap your swords at Tigtone!
You're right, Journal,
something to take my mind
off this main quest
for a while is what I need.
Tigtone, the well
has been poisoned.
Save my sick twin sister
from the bottom of it.
A side quest!
Hyah!
We need Tigtone!
Hiss, hiss.
That means "Thank you"
where I come from, Tigtone.
Hiss, hiss.
The key.
How do you kill that
which is already bone?
The Reverse Dagger!
I'm alive! Thank you, Tigtone.
Ah, I'm alive! Ahh!
Hand over that key.
But what about Axeanne?
You can stab her back to live.
I can only stab her back once,
and I'd hate to waste it now.
Ahh!
The pendulum is mightier
than the sword-ulum, Tigtone!
Redundart, use yourself
as pendulum bait.
Because you'll bring me back
with the Reverse Dagger,
should I die.
Your companion was a joke.
And now he's dead.
The joke is on you! I agree.
Ah, finally, questing alone,
as nature intended me.
Two pressure plates? Ugh.
Why didn't I bring
more companions?
Remember, Tigtone,
dungeons have prisoners,
and prisoners have body weight.
Use a prisoner.
Of course.
This thing weighs
enough to help me.
Please chop my arms
and legs off.
- Oh...
- Do it!
Thank you, fellow stranger.
Are you not stung by that?
Of course, but I regenerate.
And because you helped me,
I'll do that to you.
Help you, that is.
Let's go.
...and so Wadsor trapped me
and has been feeding off
my life juices ever since.
Mm-hmm. Here we are.
Oh, we shall both stand
on these pressure plates
to open the door.
You certainly do come in handy.
I think I'll call you... Helpy.
But my name is...
Hyah!
Thank you, Helpy.
Wait!
I want him to know it was me.
My energy supply.
My energy supply creature.
Tigtone?!
Wadsor's fully charged
Repli-Rocks.
Damn it.
Shh. You distract him
while I stab his brain.
Right to his face.
Hey, Wadsor!
I'm full of life juices.
Come and get me.
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Now!
No mortal blade can kill me.
I'm undead.
And I am no mortal blade.
And I am Tigtone!
Oh, so that's your name?
Proudfully nodding
at a job well done.
Me too, Tigtone.
Me Helpy.
And so to honor Tigtone
for saving Propecia
from tastelessness, we throw
this second chicken dinner.
The honor is all ours.
And this is Helpy.
I serve the Greater Good.
Cheers to whatever that is.
And to the Repli-Rocks,
our new friends.
The legend goes on to say
they enjoy eating
as much as we all do.
All thanks to Tigtone.
Thank you, Tigtone. - Huzzah!
Dear Journal,
ah, yes, Helpy
is who that thing is.
And thus fellowship
is now in my inventory.
But worry not.
For I am still, as was before,
as was always be...
Tigtone!
And Helpy.