Tigtone (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Tigtone and the Beautiful War - full transcript
Lord Festus tasks Tigtone with saving his ugly kingdom from the mysterious curse of ravaging beauty. Tigtone and Helpy's investigation leads them to a shocking discovery about the brutal civil war raging in the heavens above.
What a great day to be tortured
by me, Lord Festus!
Eh, Marwin?
Ah!
Marwin!
That beautiful rain is turnin'
my ugly kingdom pretty!
It's hideous!
There's only one man
who can help me now...
My sworn enemy, Tigtone.
Dear Journal, I...
Hey, handsome,
how did you get so handsome?
Dear Journal!
He's so handsome,
he can't even hear me.
Too handsome for hearing,
are we?
Tigtone, it's Lord Festus' head.
My magically projected head!
Lord Festus.
What do you want,
you slimy sadist?
All of my fists!
Where do you want it?
- In your face!
- Well, now, Tigtone.
Now, I know we've had
our differences in the past...
Gahhhh!
Gahhhh!
Gahhhh!
Yep, three good times.
Anyway, I need your help.
Like help you do,
- right, Tigtone?
- That's right, Helpy.
But, Tigtone, I got a quest
for you at Camphor Tower.
You just have to come
and get it.
Could this be a trap?
Do you really think
we should trust Lord Festus?
A que-e-e-e-e-e-e-st!
Ah, Tigtone. There you are.
He's right. We can trust him.
I love what you've done
with the place, Festus.
I don't, and I didn't.
Oh, please, Tigtone.
This beauty rain
is destroying my ugly land.
You got to find out what's going
on up in them dang clouds.
Why should I quest for you?
Yeah. You villain.
Uh, if you don't, I'll destroy
the world or somethin'.
I don't know. I haven't had
time to think it through.
Oh, no.
Tigtone, the world is at stake!
The world is at stake?
Then I, Tigtone,
shall accept this ugly quest!
Also, accept this viewing orb.
It's a talkin' orb, too,
so I can talk at you.
I got one just like it.
Now get out of here!
So, what's our plan, Tigtone?
Hup! Hup! Hmm.
If only we were better
at jumping.
Wait! Are you better
- at jumping, Helpy?
- No.
Oh, my. It's beautiful.
Wings!
Helpy, regenerate these
beautiful wings into your body.
Aah! It doesn't work like that.
Oh, I guess it does
work like that.
Now, fly
like you've never flown before!
I haven't!
Ohh!
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
Are my legs broken, mister?
I think my legs are broken.
Are they okay?
So... So cold.
Everything's getting dark.
You're going to be fine.
B-Before I go, just...
let me know
how are my legs looking?
Huh? Whoa!
Tigtone,
where does death come from?
Well, Helpy,
when two creatures
hate each other very much...
Festus to Tigtone.
Festus to Tigtone!
Lord Festus!
It's gettin' awful
pretty down here.
What's going on up there?
The beauty rain is actually the
beauty blood of these creatures
who are beautifully
slaughtering each other.
Yep, that's what I figured.
You got to stop
this war, Tigtone!
Stop fighting!
What manner of
ugly beast are you?
Answer it, Helpy.
Not you, most attractive one.
You! Surely you're an ally
of the Sky Unicorns,
our ugly enemies!
Him? A Sky Unicorn?
He's as hideous as you are,
vile Horned Pegasus.
We Horned Pegasuses are
the most attractive creatures
in all the Sky Realm.
The creatures all look
exactly alike.
I'll kill you all!
Everyone, calm down!
Tigtone is my friend.
And besides, he's beautiful
on the inside.
- Beautiful?
- Inside?
- Interior beauty.
- How?
We must possess
this inside beauty!
- Cut him open!
- Get him!
They vanished.
Those beautiful creatures
are insane!
That's correct, strangers.
But it wasn't always
like this, Tigtone.
Ages ago, we were all of
one type of creature...
The peaceful and ugly type.
But a magic spell was discovered
that gave my people
wings and horns
and made them beautiful.
Then they broke into factions
and began arguing over
who was the most beautiful.
Now their animosity
has boiled over
into all-out beautiful war.
And that's me, Zlotovf.
None of your information
helps me!
Break off their horns.
Rip out their wings.
Return them
to their original forms.
Only that will stop
this beautiful war.
Tigtone!
Stoppin' the beautiful bloodshed
won't re-uglify Camphor,
and that is what I want.
- Hey, what's that?
- Oh, that's a picture of me.
Yes, that's my name, Zlotovf.
No, above that.
Oh, that's the ugly
realm above us.
I included it for detail.
So you're sayin' there's a whole
realm full of ugly above y'alls?
Yes, it's sickening.
Of course!
If beautiful blood
turns things pretty,
then ugly blood
must turn things that!
We're going to need
a lot of ugly blood.
Use my empty buckets.
To the ugly realm!
Welcome, strangers.
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
I'm sorry, but I need
all the blood
of your entire
ugly civilization.
Ugly? Us?
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah, very ugly.
As I was saying
and doing and apologizing for...
- Ugly?
- Ugly?
It's working! These ugly tears
are even better than ugly blood.
This gives me another idea!
Just look at yourselves.
Nobody loves you
because of how you look.
Your stores are full
of ugly customers.
I feel ugly just talking to you.
- Vile.
- Gross.
- Icky.
- Putrid.
- Gunky.
- Bad lookin'.
Ug-g-g-g-l-l-ly.
I'm ugly and don't feel like
murdering anyone anymore.
Let's just live
in hideous peace.
- Just a little more.
- Ugly, ugly,
ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly!
Perfect.
How do we get them
to stop crying?
Tigtone?
Ugly creatures, behold!
Doesn't this make
you feel better...
A creature even more
disgusting than you?
Huh?
The suffering of that creature
has made us happy once again.
Our work here is done, Helpy.
Let us leave them
in peace!
I'm okay...
and back to my normal
level of beauty...
Medium!
Well, everything's
back to normal, Tigtone.
Maybe even a little uglier.
Including our partnership,
Lord Festus.
Yeah, I suppose
to got to go back
to the way we used to be, huh?
Then the next time we meet,
my success may lie
in your demise.
Tigtone, have you learned
a lesson from all of this?
Maybe it's better to be ugly
on the outside
as well as on the inside.
Well, you better write it down
before you forget.
Forget what, Helpy? Forget what?
My plan worked!
That's right.
I had a plan all along.
I am now the most beautiful.
Bow to me, your new ruler,
Zlotovf!
It's going to be
a lot of responsibility,
but I'm ready for it.
What else do rulers do,
I wonder?
I should do all of it.
Somebody's got to do it.
Bow to me, you dribbling
sponge horns!
by me, Lord Festus!
Eh, Marwin?
Ah!
Marwin!
That beautiful rain is turnin'
my ugly kingdom pretty!
It's hideous!
There's only one man
who can help me now...
My sworn enemy, Tigtone.
Dear Journal, I...
Hey, handsome,
how did you get so handsome?
Dear Journal!
He's so handsome,
he can't even hear me.
Too handsome for hearing,
are we?
Tigtone, it's Lord Festus' head.
My magically projected head!
Lord Festus.
What do you want,
you slimy sadist?
All of my fists!
Where do you want it?
- In your face!
- Well, now, Tigtone.
Now, I know we've had
our differences in the past...
Gahhhh!
Gahhhh!
Gahhhh!
Yep, three good times.
Anyway, I need your help.
Like help you do,
- right, Tigtone?
- That's right, Helpy.
But, Tigtone, I got a quest
for you at Camphor Tower.
You just have to come
and get it.
Could this be a trap?
Do you really think
we should trust Lord Festus?
A que-e-e-e-e-e-e-st!
Ah, Tigtone. There you are.
He's right. We can trust him.
I love what you've done
with the place, Festus.
I don't, and I didn't.
Oh, please, Tigtone.
This beauty rain
is destroying my ugly land.
You got to find out what's going
on up in them dang clouds.
Why should I quest for you?
Yeah. You villain.
Uh, if you don't, I'll destroy
the world or somethin'.
I don't know. I haven't had
time to think it through.
Oh, no.
Tigtone, the world is at stake!
The world is at stake?
Then I, Tigtone,
shall accept this ugly quest!
Also, accept this viewing orb.
It's a talkin' orb, too,
so I can talk at you.
I got one just like it.
Now get out of here!
So, what's our plan, Tigtone?
Hup! Hup! Hmm.
If only we were better
at jumping.
Wait! Are you better
- at jumping, Helpy?
- No.
Oh, my. It's beautiful.
Wings!
Helpy, regenerate these
beautiful wings into your body.
Aah! It doesn't work like that.
Oh, I guess it does
work like that.
Now, fly
like you've never flown before!
I haven't!
Ohh!
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
Are my legs broken, mister?
I think my legs are broken.
Are they okay?
So... So cold.
Everything's getting dark.
You're going to be fine.
B-Before I go, just...
let me know
how are my legs looking?
Huh? Whoa!
Tigtone,
where does death come from?
Well, Helpy,
when two creatures
hate each other very much...
Festus to Tigtone.
Festus to Tigtone!
Lord Festus!
It's gettin' awful
pretty down here.
What's going on up there?
The beauty rain is actually the
beauty blood of these creatures
who are beautifully
slaughtering each other.
Yep, that's what I figured.
You got to stop
this war, Tigtone!
Stop fighting!
What manner of
ugly beast are you?
Answer it, Helpy.
Not you, most attractive one.
You! Surely you're an ally
of the Sky Unicorns,
our ugly enemies!
Him? A Sky Unicorn?
He's as hideous as you are,
vile Horned Pegasus.
We Horned Pegasuses are
the most attractive creatures
in all the Sky Realm.
The creatures all look
exactly alike.
I'll kill you all!
Everyone, calm down!
Tigtone is my friend.
And besides, he's beautiful
on the inside.
- Beautiful?
- Inside?
- Interior beauty.
- How?
We must possess
this inside beauty!
- Cut him open!
- Get him!
They vanished.
Those beautiful creatures
are insane!
That's correct, strangers.
But it wasn't always
like this, Tigtone.
Ages ago, we were all of
one type of creature...
The peaceful and ugly type.
But a magic spell was discovered
that gave my people
wings and horns
and made them beautiful.
Then they broke into factions
and began arguing over
who was the most beautiful.
Now their animosity
has boiled over
into all-out beautiful war.
And that's me, Zlotovf.
None of your information
helps me!
Break off their horns.
Rip out their wings.
Return them
to their original forms.
Only that will stop
this beautiful war.
Tigtone!
Stoppin' the beautiful bloodshed
won't re-uglify Camphor,
and that is what I want.
- Hey, what's that?
- Oh, that's a picture of me.
Yes, that's my name, Zlotovf.
No, above that.
Oh, that's the ugly
realm above us.
I included it for detail.
So you're sayin' there's a whole
realm full of ugly above y'alls?
Yes, it's sickening.
Of course!
If beautiful blood
turns things pretty,
then ugly blood
must turn things that!
We're going to need
a lot of ugly blood.
Use my empty buckets.
To the ugly realm!
Welcome, strangers.
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
I'm sorry, but I need
all the blood
of your entire
ugly civilization.
Ugly? Us?
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah, very ugly.
As I was saying
and doing and apologizing for...
- Ugly?
- Ugly?
It's working! These ugly tears
are even better than ugly blood.
This gives me another idea!
Just look at yourselves.
Nobody loves you
because of how you look.
Your stores are full
of ugly customers.
I feel ugly just talking to you.
- Vile.
- Gross.
- Icky.
- Putrid.
- Gunky.
- Bad lookin'.
Ug-g-g-g-l-l-ly.
I'm ugly and don't feel like
murdering anyone anymore.
Let's just live
in hideous peace.
- Just a little more.
- Ugly, ugly,
ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly!
Perfect.
How do we get them
to stop crying?
Tigtone?
Ugly creatures, behold!
Doesn't this make
you feel better...
A creature even more
disgusting than you?
Huh?
The suffering of that creature
has made us happy once again.
Our work here is done, Helpy.
Let us leave them
in peace!
I'm okay...
and back to my normal
level of beauty...
Medium!
Well, everything's
back to normal, Tigtone.
Maybe even a little uglier.
Including our partnership,
Lord Festus.
Yeah, I suppose
to got to go back
to the way we used to be, huh?
Then the next time we meet,
my success may lie
in your demise.
Tigtone, have you learned
a lesson from all of this?
Maybe it's better to be ugly
on the outside
as well as on the inside.
Well, you better write it down
before you forget.
Forget what, Helpy? Forget what?
My plan worked!
That's right.
I had a plan all along.
I am now the most beautiful.
Bow to me, your new ruler,
Zlotovf!
It's going to be
a lot of responsibility,
but I'm ready for it.
What else do rulers do,
I wonder?
I should do all of it.
Somebody's got to do it.
Bow to me, you dribbling
sponge horns!