Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 4, Episode 8 - A-Camping We Will Go - full transcript

(theme music playing)

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE
HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪



♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪

LARRY... WHY ARE
YOU STARING AT ME?

I CAN'T HELP IT, LAURA. I JUST
CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU.

- OH, LARRY.
- NO, I MEAN IT. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
YOU'RE SO WHOLESOME...

SO PURE, SO GOOD.

OH, LARRY, I'M NOT.

THEN HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH ME?

- WHAT?
- YEAH, MY BOSS
IS LETTING ME USE

HIS CABIN UP IN THE
MOUNTAINS. JUST THINK OF IT...



VAST BLUE SKY, SOARING REDWOODS,

CLEAN, CLEAR MOUNTAIN STREAMS

AND OF COURSE,
NATURE'S MASTERPIECE.

- NATURE'S MASTERPIECE?
- YEAH. ME.

- I CAN'T.
- WHY?

WELL, YOU KNOW I'M AN
ACTRESS. I'VE GOTTA STAY

NEAR MY PHONE IN CASE
SOMEONE CALLS ME FOR A JOB.

OH. THAT'S TOO BAD.

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE
FUN UP THERE AT THE CABIN,

JUST YOU, AND ME,
AND JACK TRIPPER.

JACK TRIPPER? WHO'S HE?

- YOU'RE PUTTING
ME ON, RIGHT?
- UH-UH.

YOU DON'T KNOW...
YOU NEVER HEARD OF...

I'M TALKING ABOUT JACK TRIPPER,

THE FAMOUS MOVIE DIRECTOR.

- OH, THAT JACK TRIPPER!
- YES.

WHAT'S HE DONE LATELY?

WHAT'S HE DONE LATELY? OH LAURA.

UH... HE'S BEEN
ABROAD. HE IS, UH...

SEE, HE WAS IN JAPAN.
HE'S VERY BIG IN JAPAN.

NOW HE'S DECIDED TO
COME BACK TO THE STATES,

AND HE IS VERY BUSY
DOING COMMERCIALS.

COMMERCIALS! I WOULD DO
ANYTHING TO BE IN A COMMERCIAL.

THAT'S HOW A PERSON
GETS DISCOVERED.

I'LL PICK YOU UP AT NOON.

NOON? I COULDN'T
POSSIBLY BE READY BY THEN.

I KNOW. YOU GIVE ME DIRECTIONS TO
THE CABIN, AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

TERRIFIC! OOH, LAURA,
THERE IS JUST ONE THING.

YOU SEE, JACK LIKES
TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE.

IF HE FINDS OUT I TOLD
YOU HE'S A DIRECTOR,

HE MIGHT LEAVE, SO DON'T SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT BEING AN ACTRESS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ME. I'LL PLAY IT REALLY COOL.

ATTAGIRL! YOU JUST SAVE
ALL YOUR HEAT FOR ME.

JACK, WILL YOU WAKE
UP? I'M STILL TALKING.

I HEAR YOU.

YOU'VE GOTTA COME
UP TO THE CABIN WITH ME!

LARRY, I HAVE HAD CLASSES
EVERY DAY THIS WEEK,

I'VE BEEN WORKING EVERY NIGHT,
I'VE GOT A BIG EXAM COMING UP,

AND I HAVE GOT TO
GET SOME SLEEP.

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO DO YOU A FAVOR,

BUT THERE'S ONE THING I'M NOT
GONNA DO, I'M NOT GONNA BEG.

- GOOD!
- PLEASE, JACK?

LARRY, NO! NO!

OH LOOK, AN
OLD-FASHIONED PROPOSAL.

- LARRY?
- YEAH?

I DON'T THINK JACK'S READY TO
SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE BABIES.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

I'M TRYING TO TELL THE
GUY THAT I AM TOO TIRED

TO GO HIKING UP TO SOME
CRUMMY CABIN IN THE WILDERNESS.

CRUMMY? WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?

MY BOSS CALLS IT A CABIN, BUT
WHAT YOU'VE GOTTA PICTURE

IS A BIG, BEAUTIFUL CHALET. I'M TALKING
A STONE FIREPLACE, A GOURMET KITCHEN.

BOY, YOUR BOSS'S CABIN SOUNDS
GREAT. HOW COME YOU DON'T INVITE US?

YEAH, I WOULDN'T MIND GOING
UP THERE FOR A WEEKEND.

SURE, WHY NOT? ONE
OF THESE WEEKENDS

WHEN THE CABIN'S AVAILABLE,
YOU CAN BE MY GUESTS.

- BUDDY, PLEASE? PLEASE?
- LARRY!

- I'M NOT GOING CAMPING.
- CAMPING.

THAT REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I
WENT TO BUY MYSELF A SLEEPING BAG.

I DON'T REMEMBER
ANY SLEEPING BAG.

- YOU DON'T?
- NO.

- I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
- CHRISSY, THAT'S OKAY.

IT WAS ABOUT A YEAR AGO, AND I
WAS INVITED ON THIS CAMPING TRIP,

SO I WENT TO WILLET'S
DEPARTMENT STORE,

AND I SAW THE CUTEST SLEEPING
BAG. IT WAS RED AND BLUE STRIPES,

JACK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
PERFECT FOR YOU FOR THIS WEEKEND.

THAT'S WHEN I FOUND THIS CUTE
PINK JUMPER THAT WAS ON SALE.

OF COURSE I NEEDED
SHOES TO GO WITH IT,

AND I LOOKED ALL OVER TOWN,

UNTIL I FINALLY FOUND
A PAIR OF HIGH HEELS

THAT WERE COMFORTABLE.

- CHRISSY...
- AND THE SHOES WERE THE WRONG COLOR,

AND I HAD TO HAVE
THEM DYED TO MATCH

THE PURSE I BOUGHT WHILE
SHOPPING FOR THE SHOES!

AND THEN I NEEDED A BLAZER,

BUT THE SALESMAN,
HE WAS SO CUTE...

OKAY. SO, YOU BOUGHT
A SLEEPING BAG.

NO, I DIDN'T.

I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY
ON ALL THESE NICE CLOTHES,

I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING
LEFT FOR THE SLEEPING BAG.

BUT CHRISSY, YOU JUST SAID
YOU WERE GONNA LOAN IT TO JACK.

YEAH. WELL, I WOULD IF I
COULD, BUT I CAN'T SO I WON'T,

AND HE'S NOT GOING ANYWAY,
SO WHAT DOES HE NEED IT FOR?

- (screams)
- WHAT HAPPENED?

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- (doorbell rings)

NOTHING'S THE MATTER.

WHY IS SHE WALKING LIKE THAT?

HI, JANET, HOW ARE YOU?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

NO. WHERE'S JACK?

RIGHT OVER THERE, LYING DOWN.

OOH, THEN WE'RE HALFWAY THERE.

HI, JACKIE BOY.

OH, LANA, HI. NOT NOW,
LANA, I'M TOO TIRED TO TALK.

I'M JUST GONNA GO TO BED
AND STAY THERE ALL WEEKEND.

OOH, HOW COZY!

WELL, I'LL JUST DROP IN
EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR

AND SEE THAT
YOU'RE ALL TUCKED IN.

OH, DID I SAY THIS WEEKEND?

SILLY ME, I MEANT NEXT WEEKEND.

THIS WEEKEND I'M GOING TO
THE MOUNTAINS WITH LARRY.

LARRY, WHAT TIME ARE WE LEAVING?

- IN ONE HOUR.
- OH, GOOD.

- WAKE ME UP
IN 59 MINUTES.
- YOU GOT IT!

- BYE, GIRLS. I'LL SEE YOU, LANA.
- Janet and Chrissy: BYE.

- OH, LARRY?
- YEAH?

- WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
- GOTTA PACK.

WOULD YOU LIKE COMPANY?

I LOVE TO SEE A MAN
PACKING TO GO AWAY.

IT REMINDS ME OF
MY THREE HUSBANDS.

SLEEPY, TIRED, SLEEPY, SLEEPY,

- SLEEPY, TIRED.
- AH, HERE WE ARE.

- BED, NOW. BED.
- ISN'T THIS GREAT?

OKAY, LARRY. NO MORE
JOKES. LET'S GO TO THE CHALET.

- CABIN.
- WHAT?

WE'RE HERE.

LARRY, I'D PUNCH YOU
RIGHT IN THE MOUTH

ONLY I'M TOO TIRED
TO MAKE A FIST.

AFTER YOU GET SOME SLEEP,
YOU WON'T BE SO GROUCHY.

WHY DON'T YOU GO INTO
THE BEDROOM AND LIE DOWN?

- SWEET DREAMS, BUDDY.
- THANKS.

YOU OKAY?

WELL, I'M AWAKE.

AND I'M ANGRY.

MR. FIST? MEET MR. MOUTH.

HEY, IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE.

- SURPRISE!
- (Jack screams)

- Janet: HI, GUYS!
- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

YOU SAID WE COULD
COME UP SOMETIME.

THIS IS THE ONLY SOMETIME
WHEN WE HAD SOME TIME.

I AM TERRIBLY SORRY,
BUT YOU CAN'T STAY.

- WHAT?
- YOU'VE GOTTA LEAVE.

WE CAN'T LEAVE. OUR LIFT LEFT.

- THE WHAT WHICH?
- JIM MAHONEY WAS DRIVING
TO SAN FRANCISCO,

- AND HE DROPPED US OFF.
- WELL, WELCOME TO
LARRY'S PARADISE.

WHAT? COME ON, THERE'S GOT
TO BE MORE TO IT THAN THIS.

THIS REMINDS ME OF MY
GRANDFATHER'S FARM.

FARM?

YEAH, THE LITTLE HOUSE
IN BACK OF THE BIG HOUSE.

HEY, WHERE DOES THIS LEAD?

OH, THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEDROOM.

OH GREAT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

OR A CLOSET.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I WAS INVITED.
- WHO INVITED YOU?

I DID.

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET
HER SIT ON MY SUITCASE.

HELLO, JACK.

NOW I'M NEVER
GONNA GET ANY SLEEP.

- NOW, DEAR?
- NOT NOW, RALPH.

Larry: LAURA!

LARRY, WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?

IT DOESN'T MATTER. MOST
OF THEM ARE LEAVING.

EXCEPT MY FRIEND JACK TRIPPER.

HI.

HI.

I LOVE A MAN WHO
LOVES A GOOD CIGAR.

HUH?

AND ALL MY MEN LOVE
"THE BIG BANDITO"!

WHAT?

AND A WOMAN LOVES A
MAN WITH A BIG BANDITO!

WHAT?!

A DOLLAR FOR THREE,
BUT THIS ONE'S ON ME!

(quarreling)

- HOLD IT! I'M GOING HOME.
- I'LL DRIVE YOU.

NO, WAIT. I THINK
WE CAN WORK IT OUT.

HOW, LARRY? WE HAVE A
VERY BIG PROBLEM HERE.

THERE ARE SEVEN
PEOPLE... COUNT 'EM, SEVEN...

AND THERE IS ONE
BED. NOW, WHO GETS IT?

THERE IS ONLY ONE
FAIR WAY TO DECIDE THIS.

HOW?

EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MO,

- CATCH A TIGER BY...
- SIT DOWN!

THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF ROOM
FOR EVERYBODY ONCE WE'VE GONE.

WE'LL FIND ANOTHER
CABIN WITH SOME PRIVACY.

- COME ON, LANA.
- WELL, I LIKE IT HERE!

THE SCENERY TAKES
MY BREATH AWAY.

NOW JUST A MINUTE.

LANA, I HATE TO THROW
MY MACHO AROUND...

BUT YOU GIVE ME NO CHOICE.

YOU COME WITH ME, OR I'M
GOING BACK TO TOWN ALONE.

DRIVE SAFELY.

SHE'S ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT ME.

OKAY, LANA, I CAN
TAKE A HINT. I'LL STAY.

LARRY, I GOTTA GET SOME
SLEEP, AND IT'S GOTTA BE SOON.

THERE IS A HAMMOCK OUT
BACK. WHY DON'T YOU TRY THAT?

- IMMEDIATELY. THANK YOU.
- ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, NOW THERE ARE
SIX PEOPLE AND ONE BED.

ALL RIGHT, JANET.
HOLD ON A SECOND.

I JUST WANT TO GET
ONE THING UNDERSTOOD.

THIS IS MY CABIN, AND
THAT MEANS I GET THE BED.

I GET THE PICTURE, LARRY.

COME ON, CHRISSY.
WE'LL SLEEP IN THIS TENT.

SHOULDN'T WE PUT IT UP FIRST?

(high-pitched scream)

- JACK?
- (screams)

DON'T BE AFRAID, I WON'T BITE.

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT
THE MAN LIKES TO DO THE BITING?

I MEAN THE
PURSUING... I MEAN, UH...

YOU CAME WITH
FURLEY, WHERE IS HE?

OH, FURLEY IS OFF
LOOKING FOR STRAWBERRIES.

STRAWBERRIES?

WELL, I LOVE WILD STRAWBERRIES,

AND I TOLD HIM IF HE
BROUGHT ME SOME

THAT I'D BE HIS
SNUGGLEBUNNY TONIGHT.

- HIS SNUGGLEBUNNY?
- YEAH.

BUT STRAWBERRIES AREN'T IN
SEASON FOR ANOTHER THREE MONTHS.

MM-HMM. I CAN WAIT.

Furley: LANA!

OH. I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.

PESTS?

FLYING INSECTS?

HEY... IS THAT WHAT'S
BUGGING YOU, MISTER?

♪ WHEN YOUR HOME'S
INFESTED WITH ♪

♪ ANTS AND COCK-A-ROACHES ♪

♪ JUST ONE BLAST OF "BUGS OFF" ♪

♪ YOU'LL KISS
THEM buenas noches ♪

- ♪ SILVER... ♪
- LAURA. LAURA! LAURA.

- COME ON, NOW.
- BUT WAIT...

WE DON'T WANT TO BOTHER JACK.

THERE'S ANOTHER VERSE!

NO, THERE ISN'T.

(both scream)

WHAT'S SHE DOING,
GIVING AWAY MORE CIGARS?

I THINK THE ALTITUDE IS
STARTING TO AFFECT PEOPLE.

LANA! LOOK!

WILD STRAWBERRIES!

THOSE AREN'T STRAWBERRIES,
THEY'RE BLUEBERRIES.

ISN'T THAT CLOSE ENOUGH?

I WOULD DO ANYTHING
FOR WILD STRAWBERRIES.

WILD STRAWBERRIES,
HUH? OKAY, YOU GOT 'EM.

AND YOU BE WAITING HERE,
'CAUSE WHEN I GET BACK,

I'LL BE WILDER THAN
THE STRAWBERRIES!

NOW WHERE WERE WE, JACKIE BOY...

JACK? JACKIE BOY?

MMM-MMM. YOU ARE GORGEOUS!

WATCH IT, LARRY,
YOU'LL MESS UP MY HAIR.

IF I DON'T GET SOME SLEEP SOON,

I'M GOING TO HAVE A
NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

SLEEPY-TIME, BYE BYE.
JACKIE GO SLEEPY-TIME.

KNOW WHAT YOUR
PROBLEM IS? YOU'RE TENSE.

YOU NEED TO RELAX. WHY
DON'T YOU TAKE A SWIM?

THERE'S A STREAM BY THE TRAIL.

I DON'T WANT TO SWIM IN A
STREAM, I WANT TO SLEEP IN A BED,

BUT I CAN'T. YOU
KNOW WHY, LARRY?

BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LIE
DOWN, THERE'S SOMEBODY THERE.

HELP ME, LARRY, I
NEED SOME SLEEP!

GOT INSOMNIA?

♪ YOU'RE LYING IN BED WHILE
COUNTING THOSE SHEEP ♪

♪ TRY NEW IMPROVED "SHUT-EYE" ♪

♪ AND YOU'LL FALL ASLEEP. ♪

(sighs)

WHERE'S THAT STREAM?

JUST KEEP WALKING
TILL YOU GET WET.

JANET, WHAT COLORS DO THEY LIKE?

WHAT COLORS DO
WHO LIKE, CHRISSY?

SNAKES.

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

I'M TRYING TO DECIDE WHICH NIGHTIE
TO WEAR, THE RED OR THE BLUE ONE.

WEAR THE RED ONE.

YEAH, BUT I KIND OF
LIKE THE BLUE ONE.

WELL THEN WEAR THE BLUE ONE!

WOULD YOU MIND HELPING
ME PUT UP THIS TENT?

TAKE THIS HAMMER,
HAMMER IN THAT STAKE,

AND I'LL WORK ON THE POLE, OKAY?

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

I HOPE THEY'RE NOT LIKE BULLS.

WHO?

SNAKES.

WHAT?

LIKE WHEN A BULL
SEES RED, HE CHARGES?

CHRISSY, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WORRY.

SNAKES DON'T
CHARGE, THEY SLITHER.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GET MAD ABOUT IT.

WILL YOU JUST WORK
ON THAT STAKE, PLEASE?

(screaming) IT'S A SNAKE!

IT'S A SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE!

I THINK I KILLED IT!

- KILLED WHAT?
- I KILLED IT! IT'S A SNAKE!

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU KILLED IT.

THIS ROPE WILL
NEVER BREATHE AGAIN.

I'M SORRY I KILLED A ROPE.

Jack: ♪ OH MY DARLIN',
OH MY DARLIN' ♪

♪ OH MY DARLIN' CLEMENTINE... ♪

- JACK?
- YEAH?

- YOU SEEN LAURA?
- NO, BUT YOU WERE
RIGHT ABOUT THIS SWIM.

I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!

- I TOLD YOU SO.
- I CAN REALLY
SLEEP NOW.

I'M GONNA GO BACK TO THE
CABIN AND GO RIGHT TO BED.

- IS THAT SO?
- HEY, WOULD YOU
HAND ME MY CLOTHES?

LARRY?

LARRY, WOU... LARRY! LARRY!

LARRY!

HEY, TARZAN, CAN I
SWING ON YOUR TREE?

LANA! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT.

LANA. LANA. LEAVE
THE LEAVES, OKAY?

- HE LOVES ME,
HE LOVES ME NOT.
- LANA, PLEASE. LANA.

- LANA, PLEASE.
- Furley: LANA!

OH! JUST WHEN I WAS
GETTING TO THE ANSWER.

PLEASE, DON'T TELL HIM
WHERE I AM. DO ME A FAVOR.

LANA, WHERE ARE YOU?

HAVE YOU SEEN LANA?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'M NOT GOING IN THE
BUSHES WITH YOU.

(slapping) OH, COME ON!

Janet: JACK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NO, THESE BUGS
ARE EATING ME ALIVE.

I GOTTA COME IN THERE
AND SLEEP WITH YOU GIRLS.

Chrissy: OKAY, BUT
NO FUNNY STUFF.

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE.

I KNOW YOU'RE HERE.
YOUR ELBOW'S IN MY NOSE!

SORRY. LOOK, LET'S
ALL LIE SIDEWAYS.

- Janet: WILL THERE
BE ENOUGH ROOM?
- Jack: YEAH.

(giggling)

CHRISSY, CHRISSY,
CHRISSY, STOP IT!

- I DIDN'T
DO ANYTHING.
- Jack: SORRY.

- Janet: CHANGE POSITIONS.
- Jack: OH, COME ON, JANET!

Jack: OW!

Chrissy: HEY, WATCH IT!

Janet: JACK, WOULD
YOU WATCH YOUR HANDS!

Jack: MY HANDS?

Chrissy: I THOUGHT
YOU WERE TIRED.

Jack: I'M NOT THAT TIRED.

- Girls:
GET OUT! GET OUT!
- OW! OW, OW.

Janet: OH, YOU
JUST GET OUT THERE

AND SLEEP WITH THE
REST OF THE ANIMALS!

Chrissy: YEAH, UNDER THE STARS!

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE STARS,

TRY COMING BACK IN HERE!

- HA HA HA.
- Janet: CHRISSY.

- Chrissy: WHAT?
- GET YOUR ELBOW
OUT OF MY NOSE.

Lana: JACK?

JACKIE BOY? WHERE ARE YOU?

- ZIPPER'S STUCK!
- JACK?

JACK?

JACK?

COME ON.

- JACK?
- HI?

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
I'VE JUST GOTTA KNOW.

DO YOU LIKE ME?

WELL, SURE, I LIKE YOU.

- THEN USE ME!
- WHAT?

PLEASE USE ME.

LAURA, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

ARE YOU GONNA USE ME IN
YOUR NEXT COMMERCIAL OR NOT?

WHAT COMMERCIAL?

YOU ARE A DIRECTOR, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, YOU DO DIRECT COMMERCIALS.

I'M NOT A DIRECTOR, I'M A CHEF!

WHAT?

WHAT IS THIS?

YOU MADE ME MAKE A
FOOL OUT OF MYSELF!

HEY, I'M JUST AS
SHOCKED AS YOU ARE.

I HAVE KNOWN THIS
MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE...

AND JUST NOW I FIND OUT
HE'S BEEN LYING TO ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OH, SHUT UP, YOU FRAUD!

WHY DON'T WE GO BACK TO
THE CABIN AND REHEARSE?

REHEARSE YOURSELF!
I'M GOING BACK TO TOWN!

LAURA! LAURA, WAIT
A SECOND, HUH?

- OH, THERE YOU ARE!
- LANA, AM I GLAD
TO SEE YOU!

UNZIP ME, PLEASE.

I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!

Furley: HI, MY LITTLE MINK!

GUESS WHAT I'VE
GOT HERE FOR YOU.

STRAWBERRIES?! BUT
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

WHERE'D YOU FIND THEM?

AT THE GENERAL
STORE DOWN THE HILL.

BUT RALPH...

I NEVER EAT STRAWBERRIES
WITHOUT CREAM.

THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE 'EM, TOO!

COME ON, SWEETHEART.
A DEAL'S A DEAL!

GUYS? WAIT... WAIT A SECOND!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!

ALONE... (cackling)

WITH NOBODY TO WAKE ME UP.

SLEEPY-TIME,
BYE-BYE. HERE WE GO.

(thunder crashing)

OH, NO. WHY ME?

- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- NOTHING, JACK, NOTHING. WE'RE HOME.

YEAH, WE DIDN'T
WANT TO WAKE YOU.

- CALL A DOCTOR.
- YOU DON'T NEED A DOCTOR.

- YOU JUST NEED TO SLEEP.
- I NEED A DOCTOR.

- WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
- YOU KNOW THOSE LEAVES
I WRAPPED AROUND ME?

- YEAH?
- POISON OAK.

- LET'S WASH! LET'S WASH!
- YEAH, LET'S WASH.

(theme music playing)

Ritter's voice: "THREE'S
COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED

IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.