The Yard (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Great Compromise - full transcript
From the outside, the
yard looks like a fun place to
be-- Kids playing, hanging out...
But it's stressful as hell to
keep everything in check.
As the leader, I gotta look cool
and in control, but the truth
is, staying on top of everything
is killing me, and if it's not
one thing, it's another.
And if I don't get a break
soon, I'm gonna crack.
See, everyone needs something
from somebody, and my job is
to hook them up.
My feet hurt.
Well, your shoes are
on the wrong feet.
Oh, damn it! Not again!
Can you hear that buzzing?
Do you think I swallowed a bee?
Do you think it's still alive?
Could it build a hive inside
of me and make honey?
Why do they
call you Question Mark?
Why do they call
anybody anything?
Could that sting me?
Uh, I'd better ask Ashok.
Hey, Ashok.
What's he gonna do?
Well, he knows the
Heimlich Manoeuvre.
He does?
Come on, let's go.
Everything will be okay.
On top of that, I
gotta deal with every freak
show, freak out, and freak accident
that happens in the yard.
Ah, there you go.
Some kids need
my help more than others.
I'm sorry to bother you, Nick,
but I need a can opener.
What for?
Well, this is all my
mom gave me for lunch.
All right. What's inside?
Who knows? My mom fell off the wagon.
It could be anything.
It could be peaches,
it could be dog food.
Either way, it's something.
Cory needs a lot of help,
because he doesn't have anyone
else to help him.
Today for lunch, I got...
a frozen chicken breast.
Today for lunch I
got a mystery can!
Today I got... oxy...?
Icky-ban, and some...
kind of lollipop with the stick missing.
All right. I'll work on
getting you a can opener.
But until then, here.
Take this apple.
Okay. Thanks, Nick.
I was staying on
top of it all, but barely.
But the peanut racket was a
whole new set of problems.
Ever since I took it over, every
day has been like this hellish
grind.
Okay, let's see your bag.
Open it up.
See, most kids get
to the yard just before
the first bell.
What've we got here?
But for me, it's
the second time I'm here.
The first time is way before
most kids are even awake.
I've got to get to the yard even
before the janitor, 'cause
when you're smuggling in 64
individually-wrapped contraband
PB&J sandwiches...
it's best if there are no witnesses.
Then I do my paper route and get
home before my brothers are up.
I make breakfast
for my brothers and my dad.
And I get back to school
in time for the bell.
At the first recess, Adam and
his crew dig up the bag.
No one suspects them 'cause
they're just little kids.
Then Adam takes the product and
walks it across the yard.
Here, here. Pass.
Come on, I'm open. Nice shot!
Then he takes it
to the far corner, where
he drops it off with Johnny.
Suzi keeps an eye out
for the screws.
And anyone else who
might be watching.
Here you go, man.
Crunchy.
Thank you.
Here you go.
- Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
Quick!
Get out of here!
There you go.
The whole thing's a
whole lot of work, and it's
nerve-racking, and it goes
on all day long.
I'm stressed.
After school,
most kids go home,
play, hang out with friends...
Not me. I never even get to see
my... associate, Mary, anymore.
I know Nick's got a lot on
his plate, but I kinda wish
he'd learn to delegate more.
Ugh!
I'm worried about him.
It's a lot for one guy to handle,
and he seems totally overworked.
You know he makes all the
sandwiches himself?
I gotta make 64
individually-wrapped sandwiches.
Some kids want them with smooth
peanut butter, some kids want
them with crunchy, and you gotta
make 'em how moms make 'em.
You know, made with love.
Then I gotta make dinner by the
time my dad gets home from his
day job, and then I do the
dishes, then I help my brothers
with their homework, put them to
bed, read them a story, then I
have a glass of chocolate milk
to take the edge off to help me
go to sleep. But lately it hasn't
been working. Most nights
I just sit up worrying about all
the shit I gotta do and how much
time and money it all takes.
First I gotta buy all the stuff.
I gotta buy the best quality
peanut butter, fresh bread,
premium jam, and that stuff
drives my overhead through the
roof. Plus, I gotta buy epi-
injectors for the allergic kids
so they don't go into
shock and, like, die.
But those things ain't cheap.
Most people don't understand
the work I put into it
and the money I spend.
And some kids abuse the system.
I really shouldn't eat PB&Js,
'cause I'm deathly allergic.
But the thing is, I really love 'em!
And now that Nick's
providing all these free epi-
injectors, I can eat all I want!
It feels like I'm invincible!
Ahhh.
Not so quick.
Yeah, nice try.
Ashok!
What's with Alistair?
It's true. Some kids could
die from eating a peanut.
But there'll always be
a demand for them.
You okay?
And so PB&Js will always be a
part of our society, and you
can never change that.
All you can do is make it safe, and Nick
gives me the tools to do that.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Yeah. Thanks, man.
I owe you my life.
Ah, you don't owe me anything.
But it could help if you can pay
for the cost of an EpiPen.
Say... ten bucks?
Ten bucks!
Who do you think I am, King Tut?
Five?
Five bucks? I can't believe
you're putting a price on my life!
The PB&J racket is a business,
and you gotta run it like
a business. Nick runs it like
a frickin' charity, and you
can't do that, 'cause if you do,
kids'll take advantage of you.
We need more EpiPen
injectors, Nick.
Well, how much money do
we have in the PB&J fund?
Like 18 bucks.
That's it?
Yeah, you've been giving a
lot of sandwiches on credit.
Well, maybe we should clean
out the paper route account.
Well, I was saving to get a
remote-controlled airplane, but
I get that's not gonna happen...
Fucking epi-injectors...
We can't go on like this.
We're losing money.
If we're losing money, then
maybe we should put a sort of
tax on each PB&J.
We could use that money to buy more epi-
injectors. It doesn't have to
be much, like 50 cents each.
I mean, the kids
should understand.
What the fuck!
This is total crap!
What? It's only 50 cents more.
I'm on a tight budget.
I get five bucks a week, and that just
barely covers my basic expenses.
I used to eat chocolate bars
from the corner store.
Now I have to buy generic bulk candy!
I can't afford a 40 cent
price increase, let alone 50!
Nick's stupid tax idea is fucking retarded.
He's going to
charge everyone else more just
because a couple of nerds are
allergic to peanuts?
The only way to cure these retarded
allergic kids, is letting
them learn to take care
of themselves. If you prop up
weak kids, they're only going
to become more dependent
on handouts.
It's survival of
the fattest, man.
Yeah, it's all part of God's plan.
If God wanted people to
help people who couldn't help
themselves, he would have said
so, but he didn't, did he?
Well, actually, he did.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, he did.
Did not.
Well, I think he did.
Did not! What he said was if
you can't handle the heat,
get out of the--
- Man, it's a complete
fucking rip-off!
I'm not trying to rip you off.
I'm just trying to
cover expenses!
- Hey, Nick, did you get those
epi-injectors I asked for?
- Christ...
- Hey, Nick.
Please tell me you're not here
to complain about the tax.
No, Nick.
I'm allergic to PB&Js, remember?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
What do you need?
- I was just wondering if you--
- Nick! I glued my fingers
together! You gotta help me!
Can I at least have a
sandwich on credit?
Hey, Nick.
Why is the sky blue?
Hey, Nick. Nick! Did you ever
get that can opener I asked for?
Nick! If you don't help me, my
fingers are going to be stuck
like this forever!
Then why the fuck did you glue
your fingers together in the
first place? And what the fuck do
you expect me to do about it?
What about that can opener?
Nick! Hey, Nick!
- ...sandwich...
- ...injectors I asked for?
Hey, Nick!
Nick! I need help!
Free slide?
Sure, knock your... self... out...
Dude, you okay?
Nick! What's wrong?
Um... yeah, I just... fell.
What happened?
- I don't know. I got dizzy...
- You don't look that good.
You're a little warm.
Pulse is a little fast.
Let me take your temperature.
Okay, pants down.
What?
Just kidding.
Little medical humor.
Heartbeat's a little irregular.
You seem to be running a slight fever.
You need to get more
rest. Maybe take a nap
once in a while.
I don't have time for
naptime anymore, Ashok.
Nick, you can't
go on like this.
I just don't think
I could do it anymore.
I mean, I have to get off the
merry-go-round for a while. If
I keep going like this, I know
I'm going to fuck something up.
Something big. I can feel it.
That's why I gotta walk away.
But that's not an option.
What other options do I have?
Mm-hmm!
What took you so long?
Confiscate him.
Cuff him. Cuff him! Oooh!
Oh-ho! Oh, yeah!
Hey, is Nick here yet?
Nope.
Nuts!
Guys! There's no product!
What?
In the sandbox.
No backpack, no "samwiches".
Maybe he forgot.
He never forgets.
Where the fuck is Nick, anyway?
He's always here by now.
Maybe he's in trouble.
I'm sure he's all right, Adam.
Then where the fuck is he?
Your cell phone's ringing.
I don't have a cell phone.
Well, there's something
ringing in your backpack.
Hey, Suzi.
Nick! Where the fuck are you?
I'm home. I got popped.
What the fuck?
The screws popped me when I
was doing my morning drop.
I got suspended.
Think you got ratted out?
Don't worry about that.
I need you to focus. You and Johnny
gotta run things for me while I'm gone.
Johnny's gonna take
over the PB&J racket.
There's a stash of sandwiches under
the stairs way in the back.
It's only 30 sandwiches, but
it'll get you through the day.
I need you to take care
of everything else.
J Jesus, Nick!
I can't do what you do!
You can lean on J.J. if you need him.
Don't worry, it'll be
fine. It's only for a few days.
God. Suspended.
That's gotta suck.
Yeah, it does, suck!
Oh, gotta go.
My Pizza Pops are ready.
On one hand, it did suck.
But on the other hand, having a
little "me time" wasn't so bad.
Besides, I knew I was leaving
the yard in good hands.
Suzi and Johnny taking over
Nick's place was a total
disaster. They tried as hard
as they could, but they just
weren't up to the job.
Suzi, Suzi!
Do you think I swallowed another bug?
Maybe.
Do I need another
Heimlich Manoeuvre?
Why not?
Ugh!
Hey, Suzi, the grade sixes
won't let me play tetherball
with them.
Have you tried beating them up?
- No...
- Well, maybe you should give it a try.
Okay.
Next.
Suzi, someone hit me.
Okay, here's what you do.
Get a pad of paper and a little
pencil and write a letter
to someone who gives a fuck.
Put it in an envelope and mail
it to Fat Chance, Manitoba.
And running the peanut racket
went completely to Johnny's head.
First of all, he
started eating the product
himself. Then, he started giving
the girls free sandwiches,
so they'd think he was
some kind of big shot.
Johnny became an even bigger
fart sack than ever.
And the money he made on the
sandwiches he did sell?
He blew it on a fancy
new magic suit.
It was amazing.
In no time at all, Johnny drove
Nick's whole operation into the
ground. What a nut munch...
And something else was bugging
who was the person that
ratted Nick out and got him
busted in the first place?
So I started asking around.
A little gentle questioning
here and there.
And I couldn't believe who
it turned out to be.
It was Mary!
It was all Mary's idea!
It was my idea, and it seemed
like a good plan at the time--
I rat Nick out, he's gone
for a few days. To the kids
it looked like he had no choice.
I thought it would give him the
break he needed. Meanwhile,
it puts an end to my brother's
suspicions that there was
something going on between
me and his worst enemy.
But... it didn't really
work out the way I hoped.
No, YOU don't fucking understand.
All Nick's ever
tried to do is protect everyone
from fucktards like your
brother, and I thought you were
trying to help him, but you were
just setting him up all along.
And he trusted you! I thought you
were different, but you're not.
- Suzi--
- You're just like your brother.
A total two-faced
rat-fuck douche bag!
Ugh!
- Johnny, we're out of epi- injectors.
We need some more.
Look, I can't.
I'm out of money right now.
- I'm sorry to bug you...
- What do you want, Cory?
I need a can opener to open my lunch...
Nick said he was gonna
get me one, but since he's not
here, I thought you might.
Ehh... not really.
But listen, take this.
It's from my personal stash.
Johnny, I can't eat this sandwich.
I'm allergic.
Look, don't worry about it.
My treat. I wish I could do
better, but I'm completely broke
right now.
Okay, thanks.
Sorry, did I just hear
you say you were broke?
Yeah, totally.
I wasn't just into
Johnny because of his money.
I like Johnny, and he's kind of
crazy, and when you're crazy
and got a lot of money, that's eccentric.
But when you're crazy
and broke, that's just
kind of depressing.
Did you get that text?
I did!
Patti's kind of like the
canary in the gold mine-- When
the gold's gone, she flies away.
So when I found out she left
Johnny, I knew that whole crew
was in serious trouble.
Hey, we've been seeing you
hanging out with Johnny a lot
lately.
What, did he cast
a spell on you?
He must have cast a spell on
you so you wouldn't realize
how retarded he is.
And those outfits he wears?
Yeah, what's up with that?
Yeah, what's up with all his
retarded outfits? Is he like,
your boyfriend?
He is not my boyfriend.
What happened?
He's broke.
How broke?
He can't even pay his own people.
The whole situation's a fail.
Jesus motherfrickin' Christ, Mary.
You ripped their hearts
out. They're ruined!
You know, there was a rumor going around
that you liked Nick. I didn't believe it.
I mean, you would
never like a little pussy like that.
But then you ratted him
out. Boy, you just kicked
him where it hurts.
Right in the dink!
Yeah, right in the nut sack.
I couldn't believe it when I found out.
Mary, you're the best.
The situation was
out of control. I needed
to get Nick back.
Hello?
Nick, where the hell are you?
Uh, uh, uh...
Mary. Oh, hey.
Mary's not the boss of me, but...
you know, uh...
My tummy is killing me.
Four days, Nick. That was our plan.
Your crew is fudging up.
My brother's about to take over,
so I suggest you get over
your "tummy ache"-- Oh, my God!
Something's wrong with Cory!
Huh?
What's wrong?
It's Cory!
What happened to him?
I don't know.
He's on a stretcher, though.
Where are they taking him?
Cory! Cory!
Cory, what happened?
I tried to eat just a crust,
but I must have come in contact
with some peanut butter.
Oh, shit. It's gonna be okay.
Just hang in there.
Listen, if I don't make it,
tell my mom she's the coolest
mom that a kid could have.
And tell her...
that she shouldn't put cans of spaghetti
in the microwave anymore.
That's why her microwaves
keep breaking.
Poor Cory...
Seeing Cory on that
stretcher, I just thought,
Holy fudge.
I fucking fudged up.
It's my fault, Mary.
No, it's not.
It's Johnny's fault.
No, it's not.
I'm the leader, and I fudged up.
You didn't fudge up.
The world's a fudged up place.
You can't do everything for everyone.
But at least you're trying.
Okay, I know what I have to do.
I may not like it,
but it's the right thing.
Huh!
Look at these guys.
You mind?
I need to talk to Frankie alone.
What's up?
I got a proposition for you.
I'm gonna let you run the peanut
I'm
going to outsource it to you,
which means you gotta follow
my rules, or the deal's off.
What rules?
First off, you do it safe and
you make sure your guys have
epi-injectors in stock for the
allergic kids, and every week
you have to give me a
cut of your profits.
You mean like a kickback?
You might be learning something
about business after all.
It's not a kickback;
It's a license fee.
Don't worry about
what to call it, Nick.
We've got an understanding.
Good. 'Cause if you fuck
it up, I'm taking it back.
I realized everyone has their
part to play in the yard, even
the bullies and the jerks like Frankie.
They play their part.
I got my part to play too.
yard looks like a fun place to
be-- Kids playing, hanging out...
But it's stressful as hell to
keep everything in check.
As the leader, I gotta look cool
and in control, but the truth
is, staying on top of everything
is killing me, and if it's not
one thing, it's another.
And if I don't get a break
soon, I'm gonna crack.
See, everyone needs something
from somebody, and my job is
to hook them up.
My feet hurt.
Well, your shoes are
on the wrong feet.
Oh, damn it! Not again!
Can you hear that buzzing?
Do you think I swallowed a bee?
Do you think it's still alive?
Could it build a hive inside
of me and make honey?
Why do they
call you Question Mark?
Why do they call
anybody anything?
Could that sting me?
Uh, I'd better ask Ashok.
Hey, Ashok.
What's he gonna do?
Well, he knows the
Heimlich Manoeuvre.
He does?
Come on, let's go.
Everything will be okay.
On top of that, I
gotta deal with every freak
show, freak out, and freak accident
that happens in the yard.
Ah, there you go.
Some kids need
my help more than others.
I'm sorry to bother you, Nick,
but I need a can opener.
What for?
Well, this is all my
mom gave me for lunch.
All right. What's inside?
Who knows? My mom fell off the wagon.
It could be anything.
It could be peaches,
it could be dog food.
Either way, it's something.
Cory needs a lot of help,
because he doesn't have anyone
else to help him.
Today for lunch, I got...
a frozen chicken breast.
Today for lunch I
got a mystery can!
Today I got... oxy...?
Icky-ban, and some...
kind of lollipop with the stick missing.
All right. I'll work on
getting you a can opener.
But until then, here.
Take this apple.
Okay. Thanks, Nick.
I was staying on
top of it all, but barely.
But the peanut racket was a
whole new set of problems.
Ever since I took it over, every
day has been like this hellish
grind.
Okay, let's see your bag.
Open it up.
See, most kids get
to the yard just before
the first bell.
What've we got here?
But for me, it's
the second time I'm here.
The first time is way before
most kids are even awake.
I've got to get to the yard even
before the janitor, 'cause
when you're smuggling in 64
individually-wrapped contraband
PB&J sandwiches...
it's best if there are no witnesses.
Then I do my paper route and get
home before my brothers are up.
I make breakfast
for my brothers and my dad.
And I get back to school
in time for the bell.
At the first recess, Adam and
his crew dig up the bag.
No one suspects them 'cause
they're just little kids.
Then Adam takes the product and
walks it across the yard.
Here, here. Pass.
Come on, I'm open. Nice shot!
Then he takes it
to the far corner, where
he drops it off with Johnny.
Suzi keeps an eye out
for the screws.
And anyone else who
might be watching.
Here you go, man.
Crunchy.
Thank you.
Here you go.
- Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
Quick!
Get out of here!
There you go.
The whole thing's a
whole lot of work, and it's
nerve-racking, and it goes
on all day long.
I'm stressed.
After school,
most kids go home,
play, hang out with friends...
Not me. I never even get to see
my... associate, Mary, anymore.
I know Nick's got a lot on
his plate, but I kinda wish
he'd learn to delegate more.
Ugh!
I'm worried about him.
It's a lot for one guy to handle,
and he seems totally overworked.
You know he makes all the
sandwiches himself?
I gotta make 64
individually-wrapped sandwiches.
Some kids want them with smooth
peanut butter, some kids want
them with crunchy, and you gotta
make 'em how moms make 'em.
You know, made with love.
Then I gotta make dinner by the
time my dad gets home from his
day job, and then I do the
dishes, then I help my brothers
with their homework, put them to
bed, read them a story, then I
have a glass of chocolate milk
to take the edge off to help me
go to sleep. But lately it hasn't
been working. Most nights
I just sit up worrying about all
the shit I gotta do and how much
time and money it all takes.
First I gotta buy all the stuff.
I gotta buy the best quality
peanut butter, fresh bread,
premium jam, and that stuff
drives my overhead through the
roof. Plus, I gotta buy epi-
injectors for the allergic kids
so they don't go into
shock and, like, die.
But those things ain't cheap.
Most people don't understand
the work I put into it
and the money I spend.
And some kids abuse the system.
I really shouldn't eat PB&Js,
'cause I'm deathly allergic.
But the thing is, I really love 'em!
And now that Nick's
providing all these free epi-
injectors, I can eat all I want!
It feels like I'm invincible!
Ahhh.
Not so quick.
Yeah, nice try.
Ashok!
What's with Alistair?
It's true. Some kids could
die from eating a peanut.
But there'll always be
a demand for them.
You okay?
And so PB&Js will always be a
part of our society, and you
can never change that.
All you can do is make it safe, and Nick
gives me the tools to do that.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Yeah. Thanks, man.
I owe you my life.
Ah, you don't owe me anything.
But it could help if you can pay
for the cost of an EpiPen.
Say... ten bucks?
Ten bucks!
Who do you think I am, King Tut?
Five?
Five bucks? I can't believe
you're putting a price on my life!
The PB&J racket is a business,
and you gotta run it like
a business. Nick runs it like
a frickin' charity, and you
can't do that, 'cause if you do,
kids'll take advantage of you.
We need more EpiPen
injectors, Nick.
Well, how much money do
we have in the PB&J fund?
Like 18 bucks.
That's it?
Yeah, you've been giving a
lot of sandwiches on credit.
Well, maybe we should clean
out the paper route account.
Well, I was saving to get a
remote-controlled airplane, but
I get that's not gonna happen...
Fucking epi-injectors...
We can't go on like this.
We're losing money.
If we're losing money, then
maybe we should put a sort of
tax on each PB&J.
We could use that money to buy more epi-
injectors. It doesn't have to
be much, like 50 cents each.
I mean, the kids
should understand.
What the fuck!
This is total crap!
What? It's only 50 cents more.
I'm on a tight budget.
I get five bucks a week, and that just
barely covers my basic expenses.
I used to eat chocolate bars
from the corner store.
Now I have to buy generic bulk candy!
I can't afford a 40 cent
price increase, let alone 50!
Nick's stupid tax idea is fucking retarded.
He's going to
charge everyone else more just
because a couple of nerds are
allergic to peanuts?
The only way to cure these retarded
allergic kids, is letting
them learn to take care
of themselves. If you prop up
weak kids, they're only going
to become more dependent
on handouts.
It's survival of
the fattest, man.
Yeah, it's all part of God's plan.
If God wanted people to
help people who couldn't help
themselves, he would have said
so, but he didn't, did he?
Well, actually, he did.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, he did.
Did not.
Well, I think he did.
Did not! What he said was if
you can't handle the heat,
get out of the--
- Man, it's a complete
fucking rip-off!
I'm not trying to rip you off.
I'm just trying to
cover expenses!
- Hey, Nick, did you get those
epi-injectors I asked for?
- Christ...
- Hey, Nick.
Please tell me you're not here
to complain about the tax.
No, Nick.
I'm allergic to PB&Js, remember?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
What do you need?
- I was just wondering if you--
- Nick! I glued my fingers
together! You gotta help me!
Can I at least have a
sandwich on credit?
Hey, Nick.
Why is the sky blue?
Hey, Nick. Nick! Did you ever
get that can opener I asked for?
Nick! If you don't help me, my
fingers are going to be stuck
like this forever!
Then why the fuck did you glue
your fingers together in the
first place? And what the fuck do
you expect me to do about it?
What about that can opener?
Nick! Hey, Nick!
- ...sandwich...
- ...injectors I asked for?
Hey, Nick!
Nick! I need help!
Free slide?
Sure, knock your... self... out...
Dude, you okay?
Nick! What's wrong?
Um... yeah, I just... fell.
What happened?
- I don't know. I got dizzy...
- You don't look that good.
You're a little warm.
Pulse is a little fast.
Let me take your temperature.
Okay, pants down.
What?
Just kidding.
Little medical humor.
Heartbeat's a little irregular.
You seem to be running a slight fever.
You need to get more
rest. Maybe take a nap
once in a while.
I don't have time for
naptime anymore, Ashok.
Nick, you can't
go on like this.
I just don't think
I could do it anymore.
I mean, I have to get off the
merry-go-round for a while. If
I keep going like this, I know
I'm going to fuck something up.
Something big. I can feel it.
That's why I gotta walk away.
But that's not an option.
What other options do I have?
Mm-hmm!
What took you so long?
Confiscate him.
Cuff him. Cuff him! Oooh!
Oh-ho! Oh, yeah!
Hey, is Nick here yet?
Nope.
Nuts!
Guys! There's no product!
What?
In the sandbox.
No backpack, no "samwiches".
Maybe he forgot.
He never forgets.
Where the fuck is Nick, anyway?
He's always here by now.
Maybe he's in trouble.
I'm sure he's all right, Adam.
Then where the fuck is he?
Your cell phone's ringing.
I don't have a cell phone.
Well, there's something
ringing in your backpack.
Hey, Suzi.
Nick! Where the fuck are you?
I'm home. I got popped.
What the fuck?
The screws popped me when I
was doing my morning drop.
I got suspended.
Think you got ratted out?
Don't worry about that.
I need you to focus. You and Johnny
gotta run things for me while I'm gone.
Johnny's gonna take
over the PB&J racket.
There's a stash of sandwiches under
the stairs way in the back.
It's only 30 sandwiches, but
it'll get you through the day.
I need you to take care
of everything else.
J Jesus, Nick!
I can't do what you do!
You can lean on J.J. if you need him.
Don't worry, it'll be
fine. It's only for a few days.
God. Suspended.
That's gotta suck.
Yeah, it does, suck!
Oh, gotta go.
My Pizza Pops are ready.
On one hand, it did suck.
But on the other hand, having a
little "me time" wasn't so bad.
Besides, I knew I was leaving
the yard in good hands.
Suzi and Johnny taking over
Nick's place was a total
disaster. They tried as hard
as they could, but they just
weren't up to the job.
Suzi, Suzi!
Do you think I swallowed another bug?
Maybe.
Do I need another
Heimlich Manoeuvre?
Why not?
Ugh!
Hey, Suzi, the grade sixes
won't let me play tetherball
with them.
Have you tried beating them up?
- No...
- Well, maybe you should give it a try.
Okay.
Next.
Suzi, someone hit me.
Okay, here's what you do.
Get a pad of paper and a little
pencil and write a letter
to someone who gives a fuck.
Put it in an envelope and mail
it to Fat Chance, Manitoba.
And running the peanut racket
went completely to Johnny's head.
First of all, he
started eating the product
himself. Then, he started giving
the girls free sandwiches,
so they'd think he was
some kind of big shot.
Johnny became an even bigger
fart sack than ever.
And the money he made on the
sandwiches he did sell?
He blew it on a fancy
new magic suit.
It was amazing.
In no time at all, Johnny drove
Nick's whole operation into the
ground. What a nut munch...
And something else was bugging
who was the person that
ratted Nick out and got him
busted in the first place?
So I started asking around.
A little gentle questioning
here and there.
And I couldn't believe who
it turned out to be.
It was Mary!
It was all Mary's idea!
It was my idea, and it seemed
like a good plan at the time--
I rat Nick out, he's gone
for a few days. To the kids
it looked like he had no choice.
I thought it would give him the
break he needed. Meanwhile,
it puts an end to my brother's
suspicions that there was
something going on between
me and his worst enemy.
But... it didn't really
work out the way I hoped.
No, YOU don't fucking understand.
All Nick's ever
tried to do is protect everyone
from fucktards like your
brother, and I thought you were
trying to help him, but you were
just setting him up all along.
And he trusted you! I thought you
were different, but you're not.
- Suzi--
- You're just like your brother.
A total two-faced
rat-fuck douche bag!
Ugh!
- Johnny, we're out of epi- injectors.
We need some more.
Look, I can't.
I'm out of money right now.
- I'm sorry to bug you...
- What do you want, Cory?
I need a can opener to open my lunch...
Nick said he was gonna
get me one, but since he's not
here, I thought you might.
Ehh... not really.
But listen, take this.
It's from my personal stash.
Johnny, I can't eat this sandwich.
I'm allergic.
Look, don't worry about it.
My treat. I wish I could do
better, but I'm completely broke
right now.
Okay, thanks.
Sorry, did I just hear
you say you were broke?
Yeah, totally.
I wasn't just into
Johnny because of his money.
I like Johnny, and he's kind of
crazy, and when you're crazy
and got a lot of money, that's eccentric.
But when you're crazy
and broke, that's just
kind of depressing.
Did you get that text?
I did!
Patti's kind of like the
canary in the gold mine-- When
the gold's gone, she flies away.
So when I found out she left
Johnny, I knew that whole crew
was in serious trouble.
Hey, we've been seeing you
hanging out with Johnny a lot
lately.
What, did he cast
a spell on you?
He must have cast a spell on
you so you wouldn't realize
how retarded he is.
And those outfits he wears?
Yeah, what's up with that?
Yeah, what's up with all his
retarded outfits? Is he like,
your boyfriend?
He is not my boyfriend.
What happened?
He's broke.
How broke?
He can't even pay his own people.
The whole situation's a fail.
Jesus motherfrickin' Christ, Mary.
You ripped their hearts
out. They're ruined!
You know, there was a rumor going around
that you liked Nick. I didn't believe it.
I mean, you would
never like a little pussy like that.
But then you ratted him
out. Boy, you just kicked
him where it hurts.
Right in the dink!
Yeah, right in the nut sack.
I couldn't believe it when I found out.
Mary, you're the best.
The situation was
out of control. I needed
to get Nick back.
Hello?
Nick, where the hell are you?
Uh, uh, uh...
Mary. Oh, hey.
Mary's not the boss of me, but...
you know, uh...
My tummy is killing me.
Four days, Nick. That was our plan.
Your crew is fudging up.
My brother's about to take over,
so I suggest you get over
your "tummy ache"-- Oh, my God!
Something's wrong with Cory!
Huh?
What's wrong?
It's Cory!
What happened to him?
I don't know.
He's on a stretcher, though.
Where are they taking him?
Cory! Cory!
Cory, what happened?
I tried to eat just a crust,
but I must have come in contact
with some peanut butter.
Oh, shit. It's gonna be okay.
Just hang in there.
Listen, if I don't make it,
tell my mom she's the coolest
mom that a kid could have.
And tell her...
that she shouldn't put cans of spaghetti
in the microwave anymore.
That's why her microwaves
keep breaking.
Poor Cory...
Seeing Cory on that
stretcher, I just thought,
Holy fudge.
I fucking fudged up.
It's my fault, Mary.
No, it's not.
It's Johnny's fault.
No, it's not.
I'm the leader, and I fudged up.
You didn't fudge up.
The world's a fudged up place.
You can't do everything for everyone.
But at least you're trying.
Okay, I know what I have to do.
I may not like it,
but it's the right thing.
Huh!
Look at these guys.
You mind?
I need to talk to Frankie alone.
What's up?
I got a proposition for you.
I'm gonna let you run the peanut
I'm
going to outsource it to you,
which means you gotta follow
my rules, or the deal's off.
What rules?
First off, you do it safe and
you make sure your guys have
epi-injectors in stock for the
allergic kids, and every week
you have to give me a
cut of your profits.
You mean like a kickback?
You might be learning something
about business after all.
It's not a kickback;
It's a license fee.
Don't worry about
what to call it, Nick.
We've got an understanding.
Good. 'Cause if you fuck
it up, I'm taking it back.
I realized everyone has their
part to play in the yard, even
the bullies and the jerks like Frankie.
They play their part.
I got my part to play too.