The Yard (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Catcher - full transcript
Kids can get pretty
much anything they want in the
yard, as long as they can afford it.
'Cause everything comes
with a price.
Hey, Nick. Do you know anyone
who's got any strawberry milk?
Hey, do we know anyone
who has strawberry milk?
Yeah, I think
Donnie's got some.
Donnie Freckles?
No, Donnie the Mexican.
Good, 'cause I'm really
jonesing for some. You think
he'll trade for these?
What do they open?
Beat me. I found them in the garbage.
But look
how many there are.
Well, let me take
a look at 'em.
If you're willing to
pay the price...
Well, I'll see what I can do.
You could get your hands on
anything you want in the yard.
From strawberry milk
to chocolate milk;
T-Rexes to Brontosauruses.
Stuff like that is easy to get
because the screws turn a blind
eye to those kind of things.
Other stuff is a little trickier.
The harder something
is to get by the screws, the higher the price.
Super Soakers,
M-rated video games, puppy dogs...
That stuff is gonna cost
you. But the hardest thing to get
past the screws is peanuts,
or anything that contains
peanuts, or anything that even
MAY contain peanuts.
Peanuts are strictly forbidden in the yard.
The screws search our lockers,
they go through our backpacks...
Kids love peanut butter sandwiches.
Always have, always
will. That's a historical fact.
And, oh, have you ever, like,
held a girl's hand while eating
a PB&J? That's the best.
And, like, you know, when
you're sitting around with your
friends playing video games and
it's fun, but if you munch a
nice, big PB&J first, it's even awesomer.
It's like the colours
seem brighter. Everything seems crisper.
Like everything's right
with the world.
Mmm.
Mmm!
So good!
Yeah, man, you feel
so much mellower.
Yeah, everything's
just so cool.
So, here's the thing that
makes most kids happy,
but the teachers act like the
peanut is the devil's bean.
The thing is, they can never
stop the peanut butter trade.
They can't!
There will always be the demand.
Kids will always be able to
get their hands on PB&Js.
And they're willing to pay,
so there's a tonne of money
to be made smuggling
PB&Js into the yard.
Here you go.
Now get the fuck out
of here, you junkie.
There's a demand, so I fill that demand.
I'm only giving
the kids what they want.
The demand is so crazy, I can
barely keep up. Every night
after school, me, Mickey, and
Pork Chop are making sandwiches
for, like, two solid
hours, sometimes three.
Then I package them and get them
ready for distribution to all
the hungry kids in the
yard the next day.
I'm kind of like the
Santa Claus of PB&Js.
But Santa Claus doesn't
charge for his presents.
Yeah.
He gives his shit away for free.
Well, maybe if I had a bunch
of flying reindeer, then maybe
it wouldn't be so hard for me to
get the product into the yard.
I gotta get the stuff
past the screws first.
What are screws?
Teachers. They're fucking crazy
when it comes to peanuts.
We spend all of our time trying
to keep one step ahead of all
the teachers.
We tried tunnels, but
that didn't work,
so we tried unmanned drones.
But... that didn't work either.
Oh, crap!
The easiest way is
just to use a catcher.
What's a catcher?
A catcher's a kid
who catches bags of PB&Js that
someone throws over the
fence into the yard.
Here you go.
We get someone
on the outside, usually
a junior high kid.
Now, how did you get
involved with the PB&J trade?
Well, I used to go to school
here when I was a kid.
Me and Frankie have a little bit
of a history, if you know what
I'm saying, and, uh, when he
called me to ask for my help,
I just couldn't refuse.
Now, every once in a while, a
kid gets busted. That's just
part of the game.
Freeze! Freeze!
Stop right there! Drop the bag!
The catchers know
that going in. It's a risky
business, but they get paid a lot
of money to take that risk.
Keep moving, keep moving.
Let's go.
One week of catching, a
kid can make more than two
years worth of allowance.
If you get caught with
peanuts, you're screwed--
Suspended on the spot, get sent
home, your parents freak out,
and that's why I won't let anybody
in my crew touch the stuff.
So a kid gets pinched.
It's a big fucking setback to
lose a member of my crew,
so I paid off Patti to hook
a patsy from Nick's crew.
Hi, Johnny.
Hey.
Is it true that you have a
magic ring that can make you
invisible?
Uh, yeah.
That is so cool! Hey, I just
thought of something. Maybe you
could help me solve a
little problem I have.
Sure.
See, the thing is, me and my
friends, we really like PB&Js.
I like those too.
Oh, cool! So, anyway, my
cousin's best friend's older
brother's girlfriend's sister is
gonna be bringing some by this
afternoon, and I know it sounds a
little stupid, but I'm kind of
nervous to pick them up myself.
You know, in case a teacher sees or something.
But you got this
invisibility ring, right?
So they'd never see you.
No, no, they wouldn't
see me at all.
Great! So you'll do it?
- Uh, well...
- Just give her the money and
she'll give you the sandwiches.
That's a lot of money.
How many sandwiches can you
and your friends eat?
We're pretty hungry.
Can you do it?
I don't know, Patti.
Nick wouldn't like it very much.
But I'd love it. I'd love it so
much, I'd even let you kiss
me on the cheek for
seven seconds.
When she first asked me, I
said no fudgin' way. Nick's
always told us none of us can
get involved with the peanut
racket, and there's no way I'm
going to betray Nick for a kiss
on the cheek for a
lousy seven seconds.
I'll do it if you let me put
my hand in your back pocket
for 15 seconds.
Five seconds.
Ten.
Five!
Deal.
I think she put a spell on me.
Why do you say that?
Because it was like I couldn't
think straight. All I could
think about was putting my
hand in her back pocket.
And then my body got all tingly,
and my chest got numb. She must
have put a spell on me.
Otherwise, I would have never
done something so stupid.
Psst!
Hey, invisible kid, you there?
Yeah, I'm here.
You got the money?
Yeah, you got the stuff?
Yeah.
Looks like the money's floating.
It was nice doing business
with you, wherever you are.
I did it!
I did it!
Johnny... What the hell?!
What the heck is this?
You don't know?
Yes, I do.
I know it's some kind of napkin.
It says so right here, but I took
some home and set the table
with them, and my mom freaked
out and sent me to my room,
and her boyfriend
even kept laughing!
I guess your cousin's best
friend's older brother's
girlfriend's sister
ripped us off.
Us? She ripped you off.
What are you talking about?
You should have looked in the
bag before you gave her the
money. It's just common sense.
Oh. Okay, look, I'll get your money back.
It might take me a
while, but I'll get it to you.
Johnny, that wasn't my money;
It was Frankie's, and he's
going to want to talk to you.
I'm so frickin'
screwed!
What makes you say that?
Because I betrayed Nick, and
he's the only guy who can
stand up to freakin' Frankie.
And Frankie is the last guy
you want to owe money to.
So I heard you spent my 40
bucks in peanut money on a bag
of tampons.
What, you got your period right now?
Must have a pretty heavy period.
You got a heavy period?
No.
Well, then, why would you do that to me?
I thought we were
friends.
You did?
Yeah, sure. I always liked you.
That magic stuff you do
really cracks me up.
Uh, thanks.
But this tampon shit, it's not
so fucking funny. You lost
my money.
But Frankie, I didn't know it
was your money, and I thought
I was getting PB&Js.
I got ripped off.
No, you didn't get ripped off.
I got ripped off! And all those
kids who wanted those sandwiches
- got ripped off! And now you--
- I need to take a whiz.
Fuck, Mickey.
And now you gotta do
something to make it right.
Look, Frankie, I'll
get your money.
Know what, pal D Don't
worry about paying me back.
Really?
Yeah, I told you we were
friends, and friends help each
other out. I know you'd help
me out if I needed it.
Oh, you bet, Frankie.
Good.
So here's what I need you to do.
Oops.
I need you to start
catching for me.
What?
Yeah, I need you to be my
catcher, at least until
Pork Chop gets back.
I can't do this to Nick.
What if he finds out?
How's he going to find out?
I ain't gonna tell him.
You gonna tell him, Mickey?
Fuck no!
I'll tell you one thing:
If you don't do this, he'll find o for sure.
Besides, it's not
a big deal. You meet Patti's
cousin's best friend's older
brother's girlfriend--
Patti's cousin's best friend's
older brother's girlfriend's
sister again. You make a catch.
What if she rips me off again?
Don't worry about it.
I had a little talk to her. This time
she'll have the real shit.
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
When a kid owes me money, that makes me money.
Now instead of
paying a catcher 20 bucks, I got one for free.
It's all profit.
It's all gravy.
I love gravy.
As long as it's not
too lumpy and shit.
Our mom's gravy is too lumpy.
Real lumpy.
The first time was the hardest, man.
I didn't
think I could do it.
Frankie set up a distraction so
I could make the catch without
Nick finding out.
Hey, guys, Frankie's crew's
paying Cory five bucks to eat
some larva, and
he's gonna do it.
Where?
Behind the portables. Come on!
I only eat bugs when I'm
really hungry, like when my mom
sleeps in and forgets to pack my lunch.
And I don't have much
money, and Frankie was offering
five bucks, and all I had to do
was eat the bugs at exactly 12:15.
What do you think
I was gonna say? No?
I hated betraying
Nick, but it was like Frankie
had me by the nut sack.
I was so scared that Nick
was gonna catch me.
Hey, man, aren't you coming?
Nah, I gotta take a number two.
Besides, I've seen it before.
Suit yourself.
Eww! Disgusting!
What is that?
Oh, my goodness!
Do it! Do it!
So disgusting!
Eww!
Hey, Nick.
What?
I just saw Patti eating a
peanut butter sandwich.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I could smell it.
Where's she get it?
Yeah. That's weird.
I'd better go talk
to Mary on this one.
Frankie was up to
something-- I could feel it--
And I needed to find out what.
That looks so good.
Hey, Mary, can I talk to you?
- Mm-hmm. What
- Well, I was just trying to
figure out how your brother's
still getting PB&Js into the
yard even after Pork
Chop got busted.
Beats me.
What... what are you eating?
I hate lying to Nick.
The thing is, usually I'm good at
keeping secrets, but it feels
weird keeping things from Nick.
Lying to Nick sucks.
Just gonna go take a little dump.
I gotta go to the bathroom
and go catch up on some reading.
I gotta take the Browns
to the Superbowl.
Frankie keeps making me do it, and
every time I do it, it feels
worse, and plus, I'm not a very good liar.
The guilt's driving
me crazy. I keep thinking,
"What if Nick finds out"?
I can't eat; can't sleep.
Lying to Nick is making me,
like, physically sick.
Hey, invisible kid.
You don't look so good.
I don't feel so good.
You should think about getting
out of the game for a while.
So how do you
like working with Johnny?
He's cool. I mean, whatever
floats your boat, but he's gotta
get rid of that frickin' magic
shit, because, bitch, he'll get
caught before he gets into
junior high, 'cause this shit's
the real world.
Psst! Mickey, tell Frankie
I can't do this anymore.
Hey, Frankie, Johnny says he
can't fucking do this anymore.
Tell him he's my best worker,
and ask him what the fucking
problem is.
Yo, Johnny, Frankie says
you're one of his best workers,
and what's the problem?
Tell him it's driving me crazy.
I don't care if you guys
tell Nick. I don't care anymore.
Hey, Frankie, he says he
doesn't fucking care y you tell
Nick. He doesn't fucking
care about this anymore.
Ask him if I told
him we were friends.
Did he tell you, by any chance,
that you guys were friends?
Yeah.
He says yeah.
Tell him I don't like to see
a friend of mine so unhappy,
so one more catch,
I'll cut him loose.
He says one more fucking catch
and you're fucking loose.
Tell him thanks.
He says thanks.
- No problem, friend-o.
No problem, fuck face.
Thank y... Great.
Oh, wait!
Tell him Mickey's a fucking idiot.
Mickey's a fucking... Wait!
Oh, yeah, for sure.
We'll cut him loose.
We'll cut him loose like a fart...
Hold on... Wait a second...
Damn!
You wanna know who my
brother's using to get
sandwiches into the yard?
Yeah, I do.
You're not gonna like it.
He's using a catcher, a
member of your crew.
Johnny.
I don't believe you.
The only reason I told
Nick about Johnny...
You know what? I don't even know
why I told him. I guess I felt
bad that his supposed friend
was betraying him and what my
brother was doing to him, but I
was just trying to do him a
favour. I took a big risk coming
to talk to him. If my brother
found out, he'd freak.
And repays me by calling me a liar.
You are such a jackass.
I didn't want to
believe her, but deep down I
knew she was telling the truth.
I should have seen it all along.
I just gotta take a boo.
Due number two.
I gotta take a crap.
But I guess it never
occurred to me that my best
friend would betray me.
Look, Nick, what Johnny's
doing is wrong, but the way
the whole peanut trade
works is even wronger.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about, it's easy
for kids to get sucked in
'because it seems like easy money.
This time it was Johnny, the
next time it'll be some
other kid. The only way to end
the cycle is to change the way
the whole system works.
What are you saying?
I'm saying you should take
it over and do it right.
Oh, come on, J.J.
, you know I wouldn't touch this shit.
I mean, it's too risky,
too dangerous.
Yeah, but we're smarter than those guys.
If we took it over,
we could do it right-- Fresh bread,
fair prices. We could buy
EpiPens so the kids who are
allergic could be safe.
I don't know.
Nick, this whole thing, it's
torn our crew apart. At least
think about it.
When I found out about
Johnny, my first plan was
to walk up to him and punch him in the nose.
But then the more
I thought about it, I realized
that wouldn't really change
things.
Let's hook back outside.
Hey, Johnny, we should go shoot
hoops after this. You wanna go
shoot hoops?
Um... That would be great, Nick.
I'd like to shoot hoops
more than you can imagine.
But I... gotta do number two.
I'll meet you outside.
You know what?
I'm begin to suspect you have...
irritating bowel syndrome.
No, I'm good.
What do we got here?
What do we got here?
Hey, invisible guy.
Hey.
Listen, this is my last time.
Well, it's been nice
working with you.
Here. Catch.
You with the bag, stop!
Stop right there! Get
your freaking hands in the air!
Keep 'em up!
What is that?
Something's going on.
Screws are busting someone!
Who?
Who is that?
Oh, my God!
Hey, guys, Johnny got busted!
What the hell would
he get busted for?
Oh, he's in so much trouble, man.
I'm so sorry, Nick.
I'm so sorry.
I can't believe
Johnny would do that to Nick.
That's, like, the one thing
he told us not to do.
It was a stupid thing to do.
But four days suspension for
getting kids peanut butter
sandwiches? It seems harsh!
And the thing is, it doesn't
matter how many times kids get
suspended. It's not gonna stop
kids from smuggling PB&Js into
the yard. And all that's going
to happen to Johnny is he's
going to miss a math quiz.
How's that going to make him a better
kid? It's going to
make him dumber!
Pff! And he was already
pretty fucking dumb as it was.
Thanks for meeting me, Nick.
Listen, man. We're all really
busted up about how things went
down with Johnny.
I know he's a friend of yours, but he's
a friend of ours too.
Look, he's not my
friend anymore.
What do you mean?
You guys have been tight since kindergarten.
Now in his time
of need you're just going
to drop him like that?
Guess so.
That's cold, man.
I like it.
See how that worked?
Having Johnny owe me 40 bucks was
the best money I ever spent.
Look, I got a free catcher,
I got one of Nick's crew
suspended, and I got Nick
to turn his back on one
of his best friends.
Which he never fucking does.
It must be killing him.
Now his whole crew is like a chicken
with one of its wings cut off.
Yeah, fucking flapping
around in circles and shit.
I think I got pretty good
value for my money. Don't you?
Four days later,
Johnny came back from his
suspension. While he was gone, I
kept hoping Nick would forgive
him and think about
what I'd said, but...
it seemed like his
mind was made up.
Nick, I'm back. I came back.
Shouldn't you be over there
with your new friends?
Nick, come on! The only reason I
did it is 'cause I was set up.
It doesn't matter why you did it.
You did it. That's why
I have to turn my back on you.
Nick!
Look, you and I are finished!
Got it? From now on, you're
invisible to me. Now get
the fuck off my slide!
Sorry, Johnny.
It's okay, Suzi. I understand.
I'm sorry you're such a
retarded nut gargler, that is!
He's all yours, Frankie.
Nick doesn't want him anymore.
What makes you think I want him?
Why would we hire a loser
like you?
'Cause I already got a
delivery set up for this
afternoon, and this
one's for free.
Why the fuck would you do that?
'Cause I got nothing
left to lose.
Why should we trust you?
You fucking screwed
over your best friend.
He's not my friend anymore.
All right, Johnny.
Let's see what you got.
Uh, Frankie, I'm not sure
this is a great idea.
Shut up.
Let me do the thinking.
This is what I live for.
The kid's spirit was crushed.
He's mine.
Psst! Frankie.
Nice work, kid.
No problem. Bon appétit.
The fuck you call me?
Yeah, you calling him fag?
Ferme la douche, Pork Chop.
It's French.
Keep up the good work, kid.
Hey, man, yo, uh, right here.
Show me the money, bitch.
Now, get lost.
Yeah, okay.
You have fresh stuff?
Show me the Laurier.
One.
That's what I'm talking about.
Here you go.
Get out of here.
Once I knew Johnny was
lying to me, I had to come up
with a plan.
You knew Johnny
was lying to you?
Yeah, I knew it the whole time.
Mary told me.
But why didn't you do anything?
I did. I sat back and waited for
him to get busted, as I knew
he would. Then, when he did,
I made this huge deal about
turning my back on him.
From now on, you're
invisible to me...
But that was only to get Frankie's
trust when he came back.
Why the fuck would you do that?
'Cause I got nothing
left to lose.
So we could plant the
tainted sandwiches in the bag.
Then the kids would turn against
Frankie, and I could take over
the peanut racket.
Ahh!
What is it?
What's wrong?
This is shit! This isn't PBJ!
This is a shit sandwich!
Aww!
Nobody eat these sandwiches!
They're contaminated!
They're tainted with feces!
What's feces?
The peanut butter's shit!
How much did you eat?
What the fuck, Frankie!
Hey, Johnny caught the bag!
It's all Johnny's fault.
Don't blame Johnny, Frankie.
You saying you don't
control what you sell?
You don't stand behind it?
What? We can't be held
responsible for every sandwich
that we sell!
You hear that everyone?
He's not responsible! You sell peanut
butter sandwiches because I let you.
It's a privilege, and
with great privilege comes great
responsibility. And since
you won't take responsibility, as
of today, I'm taking over the
peanut racket, and I guarantee
every sandwich I sell.
You can't do that.
I think I just did.
So, Nick, why did you
decide to take over the PB&J
racket?
Well, I saw what was happening
when the wrong people ran it.
Yeah, but now that we're
running it, we can do it right,
with epi-injector sites and fair
prices, because the way Frankie
and Mickey were doing it,
someone was bound to get hurt,
and not just the allergic kids.
Friendships were being torn
apart, and everything was
getting messed up.
Yeah. The game, the life,
it makes people do things
that they wouldn't normally do.
My friend was lying to my face
and going behind my back.
Yeah. The whole thing was an act.
Nick was never
really mad at me.
Well... he was a little.
But he forgave me.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
But... you forgive me now?
Of course I forgive you, Johnny.
Now, I need you
to get to work.
What are you talking about?
I got a bag for you to catch.
♪
much anything they want in the
yard, as long as they can afford it.
'Cause everything comes
with a price.
Hey, Nick. Do you know anyone
who's got any strawberry milk?
Hey, do we know anyone
who has strawberry milk?
Yeah, I think
Donnie's got some.
Donnie Freckles?
No, Donnie the Mexican.
Good, 'cause I'm really
jonesing for some. You think
he'll trade for these?
What do they open?
Beat me. I found them in the garbage.
But look
how many there are.
Well, let me take
a look at 'em.
If you're willing to
pay the price...
Well, I'll see what I can do.
You could get your hands on
anything you want in the yard.
From strawberry milk
to chocolate milk;
T-Rexes to Brontosauruses.
Stuff like that is easy to get
because the screws turn a blind
eye to those kind of things.
Other stuff is a little trickier.
The harder something
is to get by the screws, the higher the price.
Super Soakers,
M-rated video games, puppy dogs...
That stuff is gonna cost
you. But the hardest thing to get
past the screws is peanuts,
or anything that contains
peanuts, or anything that even
MAY contain peanuts.
Peanuts are strictly forbidden in the yard.
The screws search our lockers,
they go through our backpacks...
Kids love peanut butter sandwiches.
Always have, always
will. That's a historical fact.
And, oh, have you ever, like,
held a girl's hand while eating
a PB&J? That's the best.
And, like, you know, when
you're sitting around with your
friends playing video games and
it's fun, but if you munch a
nice, big PB&J first, it's even awesomer.
It's like the colours
seem brighter. Everything seems crisper.
Like everything's right
with the world.
Mmm.
Mmm!
So good!
Yeah, man, you feel
so much mellower.
Yeah, everything's
just so cool.
So, here's the thing that
makes most kids happy,
but the teachers act like the
peanut is the devil's bean.
The thing is, they can never
stop the peanut butter trade.
They can't!
There will always be the demand.
Kids will always be able to
get their hands on PB&Js.
And they're willing to pay,
so there's a tonne of money
to be made smuggling
PB&Js into the yard.
Here you go.
Now get the fuck out
of here, you junkie.
There's a demand, so I fill that demand.
I'm only giving
the kids what they want.
The demand is so crazy, I can
barely keep up. Every night
after school, me, Mickey, and
Pork Chop are making sandwiches
for, like, two solid
hours, sometimes three.
Then I package them and get them
ready for distribution to all
the hungry kids in the
yard the next day.
I'm kind of like the
Santa Claus of PB&Js.
But Santa Claus doesn't
charge for his presents.
Yeah.
He gives his shit away for free.
Well, maybe if I had a bunch
of flying reindeer, then maybe
it wouldn't be so hard for me to
get the product into the yard.
I gotta get the stuff
past the screws first.
What are screws?
Teachers. They're fucking crazy
when it comes to peanuts.
We spend all of our time trying
to keep one step ahead of all
the teachers.
We tried tunnels, but
that didn't work,
so we tried unmanned drones.
But... that didn't work either.
Oh, crap!
The easiest way is
just to use a catcher.
What's a catcher?
A catcher's a kid
who catches bags of PB&Js that
someone throws over the
fence into the yard.
Here you go.
We get someone
on the outside, usually
a junior high kid.
Now, how did you get
involved with the PB&J trade?
Well, I used to go to school
here when I was a kid.
Me and Frankie have a little bit
of a history, if you know what
I'm saying, and, uh, when he
called me to ask for my help,
I just couldn't refuse.
Now, every once in a while, a
kid gets busted. That's just
part of the game.
Freeze! Freeze!
Stop right there! Drop the bag!
The catchers know
that going in. It's a risky
business, but they get paid a lot
of money to take that risk.
Keep moving, keep moving.
Let's go.
One week of catching, a
kid can make more than two
years worth of allowance.
If you get caught with
peanuts, you're screwed--
Suspended on the spot, get sent
home, your parents freak out,
and that's why I won't let anybody
in my crew touch the stuff.
So a kid gets pinched.
It's a big fucking setback to
lose a member of my crew,
so I paid off Patti to hook
a patsy from Nick's crew.
Hi, Johnny.
Hey.
Is it true that you have a
magic ring that can make you
invisible?
Uh, yeah.
That is so cool! Hey, I just
thought of something. Maybe you
could help me solve a
little problem I have.
Sure.
See, the thing is, me and my
friends, we really like PB&Js.
I like those too.
Oh, cool! So, anyway, my
cousin's best friend's older
brother's girlfriend's sister is
gonna be bringing some by this
afternoon, and I know it sounds a
little stupid, but I'm kind of
nervous to pick them up myself.
You know, in case a teacher sees or something.
But you got this
invisibility ring, right?
So they'd never see you.
No, no, they wouldn't
see me at all.
Great! So you'll do it?
- Uh, well...
- Just give her the money and
she'll give you the sandwiches.
That's a lot of money.
How many sandwiches can you
and your friends eat?
We're pretty hungry.
Can you do it?
I don't know, Patti.
Nick wouldn't like it very much.
But I'd love it. I'd love it so
much, I'd even let you kiss
me on the cheek for
seven seconds.
When she first asked me, I
said no fudgin' way. Nick's
always told us none of us can
get involved with the peanut
racket, and there's no way I'm
going to betray Nick for a kiss
on the cheek for a
lousy seven seconds.
I'll do it if you let me put
my hand in your back pocket
for 15 seconds.
Five seconds.
Ten.
Five!
Deal.
I think she put a spell on me.
Why do you say that?
Because it was like I couldn't
think straight. All I could
think about was putting my
hand in her back pocket.
And then my body got all tingly,
and my chest got numb. She must
have put a spell on me.
Otherwise, I would have never
done something so stupid.
Psst!
Hey, invisible kid, you there?
Yeah, I'm here.
You got the money?
Yeah, you got the stuff?
Yeah.
Looks like the money's floating.
It was nice doing business
with you, wherever you are.
I did it!
I did it!
Johnny... What the hell?!
What the heck is this?
You don't know?
Yes, I do.
I know it's some kind of napkin.
It says so right here, but I took
some home and set the table
with them, and my mom freaked
out and sent me to my room,
and her boyfriend
even kept laughing!
I guess your cousin's best
friend's older brother's
girlfriend's sister
ripped us off.
Us? She ripped you off.
What are you talking about?
You should have looked in the
bag before you gave her the
money. It's just common sense.
Oh. Okay, look, I'll get your money back.
It might take me a
while, but I'll get it to you.
Johnny, that wasn't my money;
It was Frankie's, and he's
going to want to talk to you.
I'm so frickin'
screwed!
What makes you say that?
Because I betrayed Nick, and
he's the only guy who can
stand up to freakin' Frankie.
And Frankie is the last guy
you want to owe money to.
So I heard you spent my 40
bucks in peanut money on a bag
of tampons.
What, you got your period right now?
Must have a pretty heavy period.
You got a heavy period?
No.
Well, then, why would you do that to me?
I thought we were
friends.
You did?
Yeah, sure. I always liked you.
That magic stuff you do
really cracks me up.
Uh, thanks.
But this tampon shit, it's not
so fucking funny. You lost
my money.
But Frankie, I didn't know it
was your money, and I thought
I was getting PB&Js.
I got ripped off.
No, you didn't get ripped off.
I got ripped off! And all those
kids who wanted those sandwiches
- got ripped off! And now you--
- I need to take a whiz.
Fuck, Mickey.
And now you gotta do
something to make it right.
Look, Frankie, I'll
get your money.
Know what, pal D Don't
worry about paying me back.
Really?
Yeah, I told you we were
friends, and friends help each
other out. I know you'd help
me out if I needed it.
Oh, you bet, Frankie.
Good.
So here's what I need you to do.
Oops.
I need you to start
catching for me.
What?
Yeah, I need you to be my
catcher, at least until
Pork Chop gets back.
I can't do this to Nick.
What if he finds out?
How's he going to find out?
I ain't gonna tell him.
You gonna tell him, Mickey?
Fuck no!
I'll tell you one thing:
If you don't do this, he'll find o for sure.
Besides, it's not
a big deal. You meet Patti's
cousin's best friend's older
brother's girlfriend--
Patti's cousin's best friend's
older brother's girlfriend's
sister again. You make a catch.
What if she rips me off again?
Don't worry about it.
I had a little talk to her. This time
she'll have the real shit.
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
When a kid owes me money, that makes me money.
Now instead of
paying a catcher 20 bucks, I got one for free.
It's all profit.
It's all gravy.
I love gravy.
As long as it's not
too lumpy and shit.
Our mom's gravy is too lumpy.
Real lumpy.
The first time was the hardest, man.
I didn't
think I could do it.
Frankie set up a distraction so
I could make the catch without
Nick finding out.
Hey, guys, Frankie's crew's
paying Cory five bucks to eat
some larva, and
he's gonna do it.
Where?
Behind the portables. Come on!
I only eat bugs when I'm
really hungry, like when my mom
sleeps in and forgets to pack my lunch.
And I don't have much
money, and Frankie was offering
five bucks, and all I had to do
was eat the bugs at exactly 12:15.
What do you think
I was gonna say? No?
I hated betraying
Nick, but it was like Frankie
had me by the nut sack.
I was so scared that Nick
was gonna catch me.
Hey, man, aren't you coming?
Nah, I gotta take a number two.
Besides, I've seen it before.
Suit yourself.
Eww! Disgusting!
What is that?
Oh, my goodness!
Do it! Do it!
So disgusting!
Eww!
Hey, Nick.
What?
I just saw Patti eating a
peanut butter sandwich.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I could smell it.
Where's she get it?
Yeah. That's weird.
I'd better go talk
to Mary on this one.
Frankie was up to
something-- I could feel it--
And I needed to find out what.
That looks so good.
Hey, Mary, can I talk to you?
- Mm-hmm. What
- Well, I was just trying to
figure out how your brother's
still getting PB&Js into the
yard even after Pork
Chop got busted.
Beats me.
What... what are you eating?
I hate lying to Nick.
The thing is, usually I'm good at
keeping secrets, but it feels
weird keeping things from Nick.
Lying to Nick sucks.
Just gonna go take a little dump.
I gotta go to the bathroom
and go catch up on some reading.
I gotta take the Browns
to the Superbowl.
Frankie keeps making me do it, and
every time I do it, it feels
worse, and plus, I'm not a very good liar.
The guilt's driving
me crazy. I keep thinking,
"What if Nick finds out"?
I can't eat; can't sleep.
Lying to Nick is making me,
like, physically sick.
Hey, invisible kid.
You don't look so good.
I don't feel so good.
You should think about getting
out of the game for a while.
So how do you
like working with Johnny?
He's cool. I mean, whatever
floats your boat, but he's gotta
get rid of that frickin' magic
shit, because, bitch, he'll get
caught before he gets into
junior high, 'cause this shit's
the real world.
Psst! Mickey, tell Frankie
I can't do this anymore.
Hey, Frankie, Johnny says he
can't fucking do this anymore.
Tell him he's my best worker,
and ask him what the fucking
problem is.
Yo, Johnny, Frankie says
you're one of his best workers,
and what's the problem?
Tell him it's driving me crazy.
I don't care if you guys
tell Nick. I don't care anymore.
Hey, Frankie, he says he
doesn't fucking care y you tell
Nick. He doesn't fucking
care about this anymore.
Ask him if I told
him we were friends.
Did he tell you, by any chance,
that you guys were friends?
Yeah.
He says yeah.
Tell him I don't like to see
a friend of mine so unhappy,
so one more catch,
I'll cut him loose.
He says one more fucking catch
and you're fucking loose.
Tell him thanks.
He says thanks.
- No problem, friend-o.
No problem, fuck face.
Thank y... Great.
Oh, wait!
Tell him Mickey's a fucking idiot.
Mickey's a fucking... Wait!
Oh, yeah, for sure.
We'll cut him loose.
We'll cut him loose like a fart...
Hold on... Wait a second...
Damn!
You wanna know who my
brother's using to get
sandwiches into the yard?
Yeah, I do.
You're not gonna like it.
He's using a catcher, a
member of your crew.
Johnny.
I don't believe you.
The only reason I told
Nick about Johnny...
You know what? I don't even know
why I told him. I guess I felt
bad that his supposed friend
was betraying him and what my
brother was doing to him, but I
was just trying to do him a
favour. I took a big risk coming
to talk to him. If my brother
found out, he'd freak.
And repays me by calling me a liar.
You are such a jackass.
I didn't want to
believe her, but deep down I
knew she was telling the truth.
I should have seen it all along.
I just gotta take a boo.
Due number two.
I gotta take a crap.
But I guess it never
occurred to me that my best
friend would betray me.
Look, Nick, what Johnny's
doing is wrong, but the way
the whole peanut trade
works is even wronger.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about, it's easy
for kids to get sucked in
'because it seems like easy money.
This time it was Johnny, the
next time it'll be some
other kid. The only way to end
the cycle is to change the way
the whole system works.
What are you saying?
I'm saying you should take
it over and do it right.
Oh, come on, J.J.
, you know I wouldn't touch this shit.
I mean, it's too risky,
too dangerous.
Yeah, but we're smarter than those guys.
If we took it over,
we could do it right-- Fresh bread,
fair prices. We could buy
EpiPens so the kids who are
allergic could be safe.
I don't know.
Nick, this whole thing, it's
torn our crew apart. At least
think about it.
When I found out about
Johnny, my first plan was
to walk up to him and punch him in the nose.
But then the more
I thought about it, I realized
that wouldn't really change
things.
Let's hook back outside.
Hey, Johnny, we should go shoot
hoops after this. You wanna go
shoot hoops?
Um... That would be great, Nick.
I'd like to shoot hoops
more than you can imagine.
But I... gotta do number two.
I'll meet you outside.
You know what?
I'm begin to suspect you have...
irritating bowel syndrome.
No, I'm good.
What do we got here?
What do we got here?
Hey, invisible guy.
Hey.
Listen, this is my last time.
Well, it's been nice
working with you.
Here. Catch.
You with the bag, stop!
Stop right there! Get
your freaking hands in the air!
Keep 'em up!
What is that?
Something's going on.
Screws are busting someone!
Who?
Who is that?
Oh, my God!
Hey, guys, Johnny got busted!
What the hell would
he get busted for?
Oh, he's in so much trouble, man.
I'm so sorry, Nick.
I'm so sorry.
I can't believe
Johnny would do that to Nick.
That's, like, the one thing
he told us not to do.
It was a stupid thing to do.
But four days suspension for
getting kids peanut butter
sandwiches? It seems harsh!
And the thing is, it doesn't
matter how many times kids get
suspended. It's not gonna stop
kids from smuggling PB&Js into
the yard. And all that's going
to happen to Johnny is he's
going to miss a math quiz.
How's that going to make him a better
kid? It's going to
make him dumber!
Pff! And he was already
pretty fucking dumb as it was.
Thanks for meeting me, Nick.
Listen, man. We're all really
busted up about how things went
down with Johnny.
I know he's a friend of yours, but he's
a friend of ours too.
Look, he's not my
friend anymore.
What do you mean?
You guys have been tight since kindergarten.
Now in his time
of need you're just going
to drop him like that?
Guess so.
That's cold, man.
I like it.
See how that worked?
Having Johnny owe me 40 bucks was
the best money I ever spent.
Look, I got a free catcher,
I got one of Nick's crew
suspended, and I got Nick
to turn his back on one
of his best friends.
Which he never fucking does.
It must be killing him.
Now his whole crew is like a chicken
with one of its wings cut off.
Yeah, fucking flapping
around in circles and shit.
I think I got pretty good
value for my money. Don't you?
Four days later,
Johnny came back from his
suspension. While he was gone, I
kept hoping Nick would forgive
him and think about
what I'd said, but...
it seemed like his
mind was made up.
Nick, I'm back. I came back.
Shouldn't you be over there
with your new friends?
Nick, come on! The only reason I
did it is 'cause I was set up.
It doesn't matter why you did it.
You did it. That's why
I have to turn my back on you.
Nick!
Look, you and I are finished!
Got it? From now on, you're
invisible to me. Now get
the fuck off my slide!
Sorry, Johnny.
It's okay, Suzi. I understand.
I'm sorry you're such a
retarded nut gargler, that is!
He's all yours, Frankie.
Nick doesn't want him anymore.
What makes you think I want him?
Why would we hire a loser
like you?
'Cause I already got a
delivery set up for this
afternoon, and this
one's for free.
Why the fuck would you do that?
'Cause I got nothing
left to lose.
Why should we trust you?
You fucking screwed
over your best friend.
He's not my friend anymore.
All right, Johnny.
Let's see what you got.
Uh, Frankie, I'm not sure
this is a great idea.
Shut up.
Let me do the thinking.
This is what I live for.
The kid's spirit was crushed.
He's mine.
Psst! Frankie.
Nice work, kid.
No problem. Bon appétit.
The fuck you call me?
Yeah, you calling him fag?
Ferme la douche, Pork Chop.
It's French.
Keep up the good work, kid.
Hey, man, yo, uh, right here.
Show me the money, bitch.
Now, get lost.
Yeah, okay.
You have fresh stuff?
Show me the Laurier.
One.
That's what I'm talking about.
Here you go.
Get out of here.
Once I knew Johnny was
lying to me, I had to come up
with a plan.
You knew Johnny
was lying to you?
Yeah, I knew it the whole time.
Mary told me.
But why didn't you do anything?
I did. I sat back and waited for
him to get busted, as I knew
he would. Then, when he did,
I made this huge deal about
turning my back on him.
From now on, you're
invisible to me...
But that was only to get Frankie's
trust when he came back.
Why the fuck would you do that?
'Cause I got nothing
left to lose.
So we could plant the
tainted sandwiches in the bag.
Then the kids would turn against
Frankie, and I could take over
the peanut racket.
Ahh!
What is it?
What's wrong?
This is shit! This isn't PBJ!
This is a shit sandwich!
Aww!
Nobody eat these sandwiches!
They're contaminated!
They're tainted with feces!
What's feces?
The peanut butter's shit!
How much did you eat?
What the fuck, Frankie!
Hey, Johnny caught the bag!
It's all Johnny's fault.
Don't blame Johnny, Frankie.
You saying you don't
control what you sell?
You don't stand behind it?
What? We can't be held
responsible for every sandwich
that we sell!
You hear that everyone?
He's not responsible! You sell peanut
butter sandwiches because I let you.
It's a privilege, and
with great privilege comes great
responsibility. And since
you won't take responsibility, as
of today, I'm taking over the
peanut racket, and I guarantee
every sandwich I sell.
You can't do that.
I think I just did.
So, Nick, why did you
decide to take over the PB&J
racket?
Well, I saw what was happening
when the wrong people ran it.
Yeah, but now that we're
running it, we can do it right,
with epi-injector sites and fair
prices, because the way Frankie
and Mickey were doing it,
someone was bound to get hurt,
and not just the allergic kids.
Friendships were being torn
apart, and everything was
getting messed up.
Yeah. The game, the life,
it makes people do things
that they wouldn't normally do.
My friend was lying to my face
and going behind my back.
Yeah. The whole thing was an act.
Nick was never
really mad at me.
Well... he was a little.
But he forgave me.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
But... you forgive me now?
Of course I forgive you, Johnny.
Now, I need you
to get to work.
What are you talking about?
I got a bag for you to catch.
♪