The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Cocktails and Confrontation - full transcript

[pop song playing]

♪ Is it you in my dreams? ♪

♪ You that I'm seeing ♪

♪ You that keeps me up
You that drives me crazy ♪

♪ You that I want ♪

[Mal] Come on, mama.

[Yoly] Can I do anything?

No.

-What is it you're looking for?
-The perfect strawberries.

What does perfect strawberry look like?
What is the...

Girl, some of them look beat up.



-Have you picked your blueberries yet?
-No. Happen next.

So why don't you just grab
a handful of blueberries?

They feel a little bruise-y
in my fingertips, I don't want it.

How nice is it to know
that this human being is like,

"Let me pick the best strawberries
for the person I love."

Incredible.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-[Mal] Good answer.
-Amazing.

You look a little cold. You want a hoodie?

I'm gonna go get one.

-You're doing stuff around the house.
-[Mal] Mm-hmm.

[Yoly] That's been really helpful.

-Is that sustainable?
-Yes.

I like it being,
like, cleaned up or, like...



You know, making sure
the shoes are over in that place

and the catch-all is here,
and there's not random shit in there.

Or you teaching me
how the bed needs to be made,

instead of just throwing it over.

-[Yoly] Mm-hmm.
-Um...

I've been liking all those things.

What we're doing right now,
is this what life looks like for you,

as a wife?

This is great in a roommate sense.
This is awesome.

But I'd want it to be more romantic.

[Mal] Mm-hmm.

In the romantic way,
I'm having a hard time coming back to you.

I love my friends. I do.

But I wouldn't make breakfast
for my roommate.

I remember the first time I slept over,
you made me breakfast.

You were like, "I've never done this
for any of the girls who I've... had over."

I was like, "Yeah right,"
'cause you were so quick to do it.

No, I liked you, Yoly.

-[laughing]
-[Mal] I liked you.

And I still do.

[sweet, gentle music playing]

I still have pictures that I took of you,
when you woke up in my apartment.

You used to take a lot of pictures.

Yeah.

This is what life looks like for me.

I like this life.
I like this life with you.

I'm here to be with you,
here to leave with you.

♪ Just can't seem
To get you off of my mind now ♪

♪ What have you done
What have you done to me? ♪

-[upbeat pop song plays]
-♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ I'll make you count to ten ♪

♪ Do you believe it? ♪

[Aussie] Yum.

This looks so delicious. I'm so excited.

[Aussie] Good.

This is delicious.

I think you're on a really good track
for being househusband.

[laughs] That was always my dream, babe.

-Well, you played that really well.
-[laughs] I did.

Minus the house part,
where you do things around the house.

[laughs]

-Babe, I always cook majority of the time.
-Cooking, yes.

I don't think that's the only thing
a househusband should do, is just cook...

-Mmm.
-...and do dishes.

I think a househusband
should probably do more than that.

And what is the definition
of a househusband to you?

Say you were making, you know...

We're talking about three times
as much as me.

And say, "Okay,
why don't you just not work,

'cause it doesn't matter
if you work or not."

And, like, do a business, you know?

Do you feel like
you'd rather want to do that?

Of course.

Like, not work?

Oh no, I mean, like,
just to focus on the stuff we love. Yeah.

I was thinking about my view on gender...

[Sam] Mm-hmm.

...and gender roles.

And, believe it or not,
it has changed. [chuckles]

-Just like...
-Wait. Since when?

-Like two days ago?
-Oh.

I had this idea...

Kind of similar to our discussion
about you making more money.

-[Sam] Mm-hmm.
-That...

To... For me to feel masculine,
which I do on the inside,

I have to be the breadwinner.

-Right.
-Or, um...

-Because that's how you were raised.
-That's how I saw my mom and dad.

Even when I would play house
with my middle brother, I would tell him,

"I'm the husband.
You're the wife. Make food for me."

"I'll be back. Gonna go to work."

I was conditioned
with that traditional view.

But I'm seeing it now,
that my role in a partnership,

-in this modern world...
-That's really cool.

...doesn't have to fit that.

That's really cool, because

that was one of your big blocks.

Just the mere fact that you're starting
to recognize those things is huge.

[gentle music playing]

And I see it now, boo.

Yeah.

That's good.

I know. Really good.

Just...

Yeah.

How I really see it, in terms of
having to take care of the household...

I would rather hire somebody
and neither of us be the houseperson.

[both laughing]

To me, it's so worth it.

[Aussie] That was always my dream.

♪ Just let go ♪

♪ We can leave it all behind ♪

♪ Just say so ♪

♪ And search for your sunrise ♪

You've just been my person
for the past three years, right? Like...

And I love you a lot.

[somber music playing]

[Rae sighs]

Obviously, like...

the other day we had a fight,
and it hurt a lot.

Last night was good though.

There was a point I just was,
like, looking at you and I felt like

for the first time in a bit of time,
I was, like, falling for you again.

That was just the top you picked for me.

It was a nice top.

I was a little worried about

whether or not we would be able to, like,
explore intimacy with each other again.

Because it's like, how can you
even begin to have conversations

about an engagement

if you're not intimate with one another?

I think you tested me a little last night.

Kissing you in the car was fun.

-I wasn't talking about the car.
-Figured you weren't.

It was nice though.

I feel excited about us right now.

And that's... It's a really good feeling.

[Rae] Um, you know,
I guess I'm just thankful

for the, like, chance to do this,

and to... see if we can fit back together.

And I'm just thankful that you're trying,
and you're giving me the space

to figure out...
whatever the fuck is going on up here.

[chuckles softly]

Obviously, like, we know
where we both stood coming into this.

Do you feel like, in any way,
your idea of marriage has changed?

I've always thought
the same way about marriage.

Marriage is a commitment to someone.

To grow with that person and build
this life with that person, right?

It's doing all the big, like,

monumental, like, life things together.

It's special. You want it
to be with the right person.

But I think the finality of marriage
always scares me.

I am very aware of how, like...

how much, like, I love you,

and how important you are to me.

You're the one thing
I'm excited to come home to.

I love having you sit out there
and talk to me when I'm grilling steak.

I like going on a drive with you.

I, like, really love our moments.

And they are not all big,
and they're not all small.

But they all mean a lot to me.

I know

that you fit into my life,
and I know I fit into yours.

And, even more than that,
like, I feel like I fit into our life.

And I don't... I don't want to lose that.

Because I really like our life together.

We do have a good life.

I know I can be a lot sometimes.

I think, for me,
teamwork is a really big thing.

I'm a good... I'm a good team player.

Sometimes we're, you know,

passing the ball over to you,
and sometimes we're passing it over to me.

The Brady to your Gronky.

The Brady to my Gronky.

That's what I'm looking for in life.

I do think you're special,
and I do think you're a wonderful person.

I think you deserve to see that
when you look in the mirror.

Whether you know it or not.

So I promise to be there to back you up.

And I promise that

I want to just be
your partner, supporting you.

And putting my heart into this.

But I'm also gonna... promise to keep
giving you the space if you need that too.

[sniffles, exhales deeply]

And I promise that no matter what happens,
good, bad, or indifferent,

I will always, always make you feel loved.

And to always show you that,
like, when you need me I'm here.

♪ I'll never let you go ♪

♪ No matter what might change ♪

♪ I'll always find my way ♪

♪ Back to you ♪

[Xander] Wow.

[Vanessa] For real.

♪ I'll always find my way ♪

♪ Back to you ♪

It's nice.

It's nice, like, feeling like
we're dating again, you know?

It's wild.

I'm getting to know you again.
You're getting to know you again.

And I'm getting to learn
and know Vanessa 2.0.

-Mmm.
-Lucky me.

You are lucky. I'm awesome.

[chuckles]

My favorite thing is
when you just talk yourself up.

Like, "I'm the shit."

I think I need to do it now
because, if I don't, I think I'll cry.

-So I'm gonna keep talking myself up.
-Good.

Yeah.

-I love you.
-I love you.

[Vanessa] Hmm.

Since, like, you, like, have this new
discovery of wanting to get married,

what are things you expect
out of a marriage?

I dunno. Have to wait and see.

I can't really describe
how I'll be because I don't know,

but I think I'm much more open
to making long-term decisions.

Which is cool.

It's wild that it's, like,
not even, like, scary for you.

-Doesn't feel like it is.
-It's more exciting than scary.

A marriage is a lot like
what we've had for these last few years.

True. And we've grown
a lot since the beginning.

-Yeah.
-You know?

♪ I ♪

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Feel ♪

I feel sad that I was not present,

and I hate that.

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Here ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ And me ♪

♪ Space ♪

♪ Between ♪

[tearfully] I loved who we used to be.

And now it's changing... every day.

And we don't know where it's gonna end up.

Do you trust me to figure it out?

Yeah.

♪ Got me spinning 'round
Oh, got me spinning 'round now ♪

♪ You're my air ♪

Come with me.

♪ You're my air ♪

[Vanessa] I love you.

♪ Going 'round ♪

[singer vocalizing]

Why are you saying "ew"?

You know that's what you first said
when we first met?

-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah, you said, "Ew."

-I like your earrings.
-Thank you. You look really good too.

I like that turtleneck. It looks sexy.

We've been going through so much
the last couple days.

I dunno. It's just really hard

when it comes to conflict with you.
Like, you know?

I think we're both guilty,

and we come off
like we're accusing already.

We make up facts in our head
and make up our own conclusions.

That's why we interrupt each other.
We both talk a lot.

We don't value each other's voices.

Well, I'm sorry for interrupting you.

How often do you feel like
I don't let you talk?

All the time.

-So I should just be quiet?
-No.

When do I have permission to speak?

It's not that you should have permission.
It's a common respect...

Because now that you're telling me
that I interrupt you...

-We're having a conversation, clearly.
-Even just now you spoke over me.

How do I not feel like
I'm interrupting you?

You do that by not interrupting.
Same for me, not interrupting you.

But, Tiff, you talk a lot.
Like, you don't shut up.

We need to both feel heard
and feel understood.

Being in a trial marriage with you,
I believe I've been attentive to that.

-No. You haven't.
-Is that...

-I'mma tell you why...
-Would you like me to finish talking?

I don't want to be with a person
that doesn't allow me to talk.

Because, just the same way
as you feel disrespected, so do I.

I'm a Latina, and when you're with Latinos
everybody speaks over everybody.

You've been to my family's house.

If you don't speak louder,
you're not heard.

And I'm an asshole,
and I tend to speak over people.

I think you're confusing that,
because you can stop being an asshole,

but I can't stop being a Latina.

[Tiff sighs]

I am a Latina, and I'm always
gonna be a Latina until I die.

-What do you want me to do?
-Being respectful has no race, Mildred.

I cannot marry someone
that blames being Latina

as to why she can't show human decency.

I never said that.

Did you not just use that
as your fucking card?

-That's not cool.
-I'm not gonna argue no more.

Because I might never interrupt you again
in your life, so don't worry about it.

This is bullshit.

We are coming down to the fucking wire.

-This is...
-Stop yelling.

If you can talk however you want to
whenever you want to,

you could find someone else.

[distressing stinger]

I'm always gonna love you.

I'm always gonna...
You're always gonna be someone I love.

But I need unconditional support
from my partner.

It doesn't matter how much I love you.

-It's such bullshit.
-What do you mean it doesn't matter?

Pressuring into a engagement...

You just don't want the pressure part.

You want to walk out of here with me
without feeling the pressure.

I'm just... I'm done talking about
fucking marriage. Like, this is stupid.

I lost here, you know.
Like, I don't fucking matter.

It's just... That's what it is.

I'm going off what you're telling me.

♪ Can we go ♪

♪ Right ♪

Oh my God.

♪ Back to the way things used to be ♪

♪ 'Cause we're not ♪

♪ Better on our own ♪

[Yoly yelps, laughs]

Go back to what I'm doing.

-Bitch, don't!
-[Mal] What?

High five.

[Mal] May God be with me.

Ah!

Stop!

You wish.

You wanted it.

[Yoly chuckling]

[sultry pop music playing]

[Mal exclaims]

-I win.
-Good job.

I win.

♪ If you're ready
Here's what you gotta do ♪

[Mal and Yoly speaking indistinctly]

♪ See, with my heart
You break it, you buy it ♪

[Mal and Yoly laughing]

-Yoly, I'm... I'm...
-[Yoly laughing] Oh God!

[laughing]

Arms up! [Yoly speaks indistinctly]
Goddammit.

[Mal] Damn, watch my face.

[Yoly playfully exclaiming]

[Mal] You're foolish.

You're a fool. What's wrong with you?

[Yoly] You.

[sultry pop music continuing]

So we're meeting your brother today.

He helped me out a lot.

-Yeah?
-Um...

He'd be the first person
in my family to try and call me

by my name that I go by now
instead of my dead name.

Whereas even my closest friend

back home in Australia
still calls me by my dead name.

[laughing]

[Sam] His hair is so long!

Doesn't he look like a rock star?

Ron.

-Aw, you look so cute.
-[Ron] How're you doing?

-I love what you're wearing.
-Thank you!

[all chuckling]

So how you been?

-[Sam] Pretty good.
-Yeah?

-[Aussie] Yeah.
-Yeah. Things are a lot better now.

[all laughing]

-Thank you. Cheers.
-Thank you.

[Ron] I'm sure
you both have a lot to process.

-100%.
-[Sam] Yeah.

[Aussie] There's a choice.

Do we still go home with each other?

-Because, obviously, I'm...
-Engaged, and not just going home.

Right. Big time.

-You missed that part.
-Engaged.

-Engaged at the end of this.
-Like, actually.

-Like, actually. Like, really.
-Like, actually.

[laughing]

-Ooh, scary!
-[Aussie] I know.

[laughter]

Right?

So engaged to me,

or we leave single.

-[Ron] Okay.
-Yeah.

So I have a big decision. We both do.

What do you think
about Aussie getting engaged potentially?

She should just do
what makes her happiest.

It's okay to be single,
okay to be married.

-Don't worry what other people think.
-[Aussie] Yeah.

I feel like the way we were raised,
our parents, especially Mom, would, like,

tell us every little thing we need to do.

-Yeah. And what to think.
-Yeah, exactly, and what to think, right?

So she never encouraged us
to think for ourselves.

No. Well, they're
first-generation immigrants.

So they're very, um...

-You know, traditional Chinese. Catholic.
-Might even be...

-Yeah.
-Kind of very, you know...

-[Sam] My family's the complete opposite.
-Oh really?

My family is pretty accepting.
They're very open-minded.

-We play board games, like...
-Mm-hmm.

-What a family.
-[Aussie] I know.

I hear about these sorts of families...

-Me too.
-You see it on TV and the news...

Backyard parties,
music, singing, all of it.

They dance.

-Our family...
-[Sam laughs]

You haven't even, like, told them,
you know, your sexual orientation.

Yeah.

That's a huge one, Ron.

My mom, you know what she has done?

She's asking me like, "Hey, do you want
to meet my friend's son, who's a doctor?"

Denial is a powerful thing.

I'm trying to grasp the idea
of what that life is gonna be like

in terms of being received
by, like, the family.

Like, am I gonna have to be
pretending to be a friend?

-My ex before was not out.
-[Ron] Yeah.

And so it was, like, very hard...

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

...having to pretend all the time.

Okay. Well, it depends on whether
my sister, you know, tells them she's gay,

and that you're,
you know, her romantic partner.

I've never, um, had anyone
that I would potentially want to marry.

And now that I do, you absolutely...

I'm... I'm like,
you're my partner. You know?

That's how I'm gonna introduce Sam.

But this is the first time I'm thinking
about getting married, to a woman,

and I'm just like,
that's gonna... that is gonna be a thing.

We look to other people
to make choices for us.

Now we need to learn
how to make our own choices.

Yeah. Lead my own life for once.

Yeah.

So, Sam, would you actually leave
my sister if she chooses not to marry you?

[pensive music playing]

If Aussie is not in a position
to get engaged,

that is what happens.

[pensive pop music playing]

It's been really stressful.
Thank you for setting this up.

[Tiff] Mm-hmm.

I've been processing a lot of emotions
and just thinking about a lot of...

You know, just, like,
diving into our relationship

and kinda thinking about us.

I think that there's a lot of good things

that's come out of this experience.

We've learned a lot.

I think part of the... apprehension

of... wanting to propose

is I notice that,

throughout the two years
that I've dated you, we do get in fights.

In the heat of the moment,
you know, you just toss me away.

You just kinda throw me away, you know?

After many times and dozens of times, um,

it started to hurt so much
that I started to become numb,

and it did make me feel
like I was disposable, you know?

You always say that.
"People in my life have left me before."

"People in my life have just given up"
or "I've given up."

And I've been trying to prove to you

that regardless of everything
we've been through, that

I think the one way...
that I can show love is to stay.

When everyone else wouldn't.

We did get into a heated moment.

In that moment, I understand
that I may have hurt your feelings.

It wasn't my intention to.

It truly wasn't.

Um, and I understand you have
every right to feel the way you do,

but I noticed, in that moment,
you just completely threw me away again,

in a sense of, like... "No, actually.
I won't. I won't be your fiancée."

You know?

And that, to me, hit very, very hard,

um, because it felt like

this trial marriage symbolizes something

that is much deeper than the relationship
that we had back home.

-Yeah.
-To me, it symbolized like we are married.

And that's what terrifies me, Mildred.

That was what... It terrifies me
that we could get engaged or married,

and then... one day,
wake up and you want a divorce

just because you're upset.

That's something
that I can't come back from.

And it's the biggest decision of my life.

It's supposed to last a lifetime,
not be thrown out next week.

Not be thrown out ever.

I dunno.

I've been thinking about how every time
we have a fight, I run away, you know?

And I throw you away, and I say it's over.

Looking very deep
into our relationship, I...

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of...

I'm afraid of telling you that I love you.

I was so afraid of being rejected.

I was so afraid of...
feeling so strongly for you.

I've never felt like that
for anybody in my life.

I've always had problems
with having adult relationships.

And in this experience I've learned that,

if I'm gonna sit here and blame somebody
for something they did,

I need to point fingers at myself first.

I failed, and I'm sorry.

Been thinking about everything
I wanna tell you and how much I love you.

And that all you wanted to do is love me.

And you always showed up for me,
and you never left me.

And I... I'm sorry that I couldn't see that.

I'm sorry that,
in our two-year relationship,

I couldn't... I couldn't give you
the credit that you deserve

for always showing up for me.

Even after I broke up with you,
you were at my doorstep the next day.

You texted me.

You were there for me every single time,
and that means so much.

That means so much more
than... than anything.

And, like, you're still here.

And you don't know
how grateful I am for that.

I will always love you for that.

I'm hoping with my heart
that it's not too late...

to recreate...

everything that could have been.

It's now or never.

And, if you let me, I can...

I can show you that, every single day,
I can't be afraid anymore.

♪ These are strange days ♪

[Mildred] I love you so much.

♪ Life plays out ♪

♪ In the strangest ways ♪

♪ I want what you want ♪

♪ To be all right ♪

♪ To notice, to find my faith ♪

[Yoly] Like, I am nervous over everything.

I got your back. I think I've shown you
that I love you no matter what.

Thank you. You have.

Hey.

[Yoly chuckling]

-Hi, babies.
-What's up?

-How are you, mi amor?
-Mamá. I'm going to my girl, hold up.

Hello, baby.

-You look so good.
-Thank you. You too.

-Hi.
-Hi, wifey.

-Ex-wifey. Sorry.
-Yeah, what the hell?

-You want a drink?
-I'm gonna definitely...

[Lexi] Thank you for coming out with me.

[Rae] If you even try
to kiss me with that lip...

Kiss you? Ugh...

Who would do that?

Look, it's cute over here.

Really cute.

♪ Ever since our last kiss
Every time I think I'm free ♪

♪ Seems like I keep running back ♪

We go to the bar first?

[Vanessa] I dunno.

♪ Seems like I keep running back to you ♪

[Vanessa] Could I have an Aperol spritz?

-You okay?
-[Yoly] Yeah.

[Mal] Okay.

Oh! [laughs]

-This way and that way...
-Hello.

-Hi.
-How's it going?

-Good, how are you?
-Good.

-You look good.
-You too.

-[Lexi] Hello.
-Let me see.

-Picked it out myself.
-[Mal] What?

-Yep.
-You look good.

Good to see you.

-Hi, how are you?
-Great. I'm really good.

Vanessa messaged me to let me know
that Xander and Yoly were communicating.

There's a piece of it
that feels a bit manipulative.

Vanessa, we are not friends.

-What's up?
-How are you?

-Good, how are you?
-Good.

-[Mal] Can I grab you?
-Yeah.

-Can you join us?
-Oh.

[Mal] So I just want to talk.

I am curious to know why you sent me
the DM that they were speaking.

It was a big surprise to me,

and I felt like I didn't want you
to be blindsided at the end of it.

No, I mean, she told me,

and if you're bothered about it,
tell her to stop talking to Xander.

They're allowed to have that moment,
and that's fuckin' okay.

Like, that's why we're here.

I felt like you were trying
to stir the pot for me.

You have every right to feel how you want.

Vanessa thinks that she's a fire starter,
but she feels more like a fruit fly.

Like, you see one fruit fly show up,
and you're just kinda like, "Ugh."

Just for my own heart,
there was nothing that was problematic

that they were sending to each other.
It was just that they were talking.

That was the only problem?

Yoly had asked for a selfie.

There were a few things
that made me uncomfortable.

-I didn't hear that when you told me.
-Okay.

[Yoly] I didn't think
that happened, but okay.

I don't remember it happening.
She thought I sent you...

The message said, "I don't want to see it
if it's not a selfie." Winky-face.

-And then you sent a photo...
-Oh. In response. Yes, I can see that.

-In response to what?
-[Yoly] Some...

-Since we're here.
-All right.

I'm assuming something she posted.

Maybe like you being somewhere.
Just like, "Stop posting where you're at."

-"Take a selfie."
-Yeah.

-So that was probably it.
-Oh. Okay.

That was it.

[tense music playing]

-That's the only question I had.
-Yeah.

-Do you have any questions?
-Mm... No. [chuckles softly]

-Okay.
-I'm gonna go take a shot.

[Yoly] And that was it.

-Well, that's a part I didn't hear.
-Okay. Didn't think it happened.

Are you guys all feeling,
like, ready to make a decision

in whatever this is... Like, a week I guess?

-What do you want?
-Come with me.

-Okay. Cool.
-How do you feel about the decision?

-What just happened?
-You know, I don't know.

I just don't understand.

-[Yoly] Hi.
-Hi.

[Yoly speaks indistinctly]

[Xander] Hi.

How have you been? I miss you.

I miss you too.

I kept thinking like, you know,
like, "What were those feelings?"

"Was I, like, dreaming for three weeks?"

"Okay, no. Like, I'm still thinking
about her a lot, and..."

You were?

Yeah.

I think we had an amazing time together.

And I would hate to see, like,
that it ends with this experience.

Do you feel like you grieved it
to the point where you're like...

-Grieved what? You and I?
-Yeah.

Or like, I guess, do you feel like
that you, like, "got over us"? Like...

'Kay.

-I... I don't want to cry now. I...
-I'm sorry.

I don't know what...
I don't know what to do.

I got, like, so many memories built up
in here that, like, I can't grieve it

because I have...

so much thought that there's a potential.

[emotional music playing]

It's hard shit.

You're so fucking beautiful.

You look cute.

Where's the jacket from?

Zara. Duh.

You can't bring that back to Hawaii.

Well, take me somewhere else.

[silently mouths] I know.

How's it been going?

-With Yoly?
-Yeah.

Um...

Up and down.

[Mildred] Come over here,
you fucking hot-ass date.

She's the trial wife I never had.

I think everybody's going inside.

-Everybody's going?
-Yeah.

Oh! Oh! Yes. Okay.
I want to tell you this nail salon story.

It's gonna... She...
I've been hyping this story up.

You know I go on Groupon a lot.
And so I won a Groupon...

[Yoly] What do you see?

-Hmm?
-What do you see?

Nothing. Just the three of them.

[Yoly] Oh.

Bitch, you're crazy.
I see what you're doing here.

Trying to involve yourself
in my relationship and trial marriage.

For fuck's sake, stop.

-[Rae] I have to go there.
-Are you avoiding me?

-I'm not.
-You are?

-Are you avoiding me?
-Maybe.

[Mal] How have you two been?

Most of the time it's been pretty good,
but we've...

-[Aussie] It's been challenging.
-But in a really good way.

-Yeah.
-'Cause we're both showing up differently.

-Yeah.
-This shit has been intense. Yeah.

-I'm gonna talk to Mildred a second.
-Okay.

[tense music playing]

Oh boy.

I miss you.

[soulful pop song playing]

♪ Why did I have to lie? ♪

♪ Tell me why you let everything go ♪

♪ Think I've lost my mind ♪

I love you.

I love you too.

Like, I feel what you guys
are feeling right now.

It's so big and it's just so strong.

[Mal] Can I step in?

-Want me to not step in?
-You can do what you want.

What do you want?

[Yoly] I don't know. It's very intimate.

I don't know how to answer you.

I just said what I said.

And I think that you
sticking to who you are,

I think that would be...

-Do you... I can walk away with you.
-Okay.

...anybody sticking to
what they actually believe in.

You gonna leave me?

[Mal] You okay?

That's a lot... That's a loaded question.

I honestly kinda want to go back
and join that conversation

'cause it was a conversation that was, um...

Mildred was speaking about things
important to her that relates to me,

that relates to Xander.

I kinda wanna go back to that,
to be super honest.

But I don't want you to feel
like I'm not thinking of you. I am.

Is it conversation that I can join
or that you don't want me to join?

I think it would be
more authentic without you there.

Just... I just want to...

There's just some questions
I have not had answered.

I just want maybe, like,
five, ten minutes. If that's okay?

-It's not long.
-Is it a trust thing?

-Need me to trust you?
-Please. Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Go for it.

Thank you.

-This is not easy. I need you to know.
-I know it's not.

-It's not.
-I'm not okay either.

-It's, like, not easy.
-I know.

Break up.

♪ Passing through me ♪

♪ Passing through me ♪

[Mal exclaims]

-[Yoly] Are we in sight of somebody?
-No.

-Can you look?
-I don't know.

-Yeah.
-[Yoly] Scoot back.

-Still in line of sight?
-No.

-Okay. Am I?
-No.

[Xander] I don't want
to overstep my boundaries,

and I know
I should be willing to go there, but...

I respect you for not wanting
to overstep boundaries.

-You're respectful.
-So I don't want to.

[Xander] But I do want
to make sure that, like,

you do know how I feel,
and I feel like that you do.

But you know, right?

I... I think I do.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out
where you're at... a bit.

Let's do this thing.

You wanna be married, yeah?

That's all I need.

Okay.

But wait, but...

You feel that?

[music swells]

Do you? It's okay if you don't.

I do. I don't. I do and I don't.

If Mal wasn't showing up...

She really does just want
what's best for me also.

She's been supportive as fuck
and, like, very much, like,

not even trying to get me to not be...

Is that what you want? Support?

So support is something I want.

The things that
she's giving to you, though,

is it something that you could get out of...

a friend?

You don't have to answer.
I just want you to think about it.

I am trying to be as receptive to

the way she's showing up romantically,
outside of being just friends.

Coming from a relationship with you
where the romance was very much there.

-And the intimacy.
-Yeah.

And the support.

I don't know
how to differentiate that right now.

-You don't need to tell me anything.
-I know.

I know.

I do want to explain and tell

all these amazing things
about, like, why we could work,

but, like, I also don't want to feel like

I'm a second pick.

I don't feel like that I can...
100% rely on anyone.

You know?

I don't want to feel like
I'm not... being chosen anymore.

[melancholy pop song playing]

♪ Oh, are we gonna fall? ♪

♪ Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪

[Yoly] I feel like my heart and my mind
are in two different places.

I am

still in love with Xander.

If me and Mal were further broken apart,
I would marry Xander,

but I love Mal.

I don't know.

♪ Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪

[sniffles]

♪ Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪

[sniffles]

[Tiff] So you're torn.

You've been so set on being married to her
for a long time, from my understanding.

Yeah.

-Um, what changed?
-[Mal] She met Yoly.

[tense music plays]

I don't think you came here like,
"I'm gonna fall for this other person."

But, regardless of all this shit,
I love Yoly, period.

And I respect her enough,
and I love her enough, if it is you...

Then, like, okay, it is you. Right?

But, like, I love Yoly.

I've been through shit with Yoly.

I know things about her.
I know her baggage she comes with.

I choose Yoly at her very worst.

I choose her with all the trauma.
I choose her when we weren't shit.

I choose her when she can't provide
shit for me, and I still choose her.

Do you choose Yoly?

-No disrespect to you.
-No, no. Good question.

So I'm asking, like, do you choose her?

[abrupt stinger]

It's conflicting because, like,
I love you, and Yoly loves you.

Vanessa's asked me
hard questions like this,

and I very much am usually someone

that wants to try and... respond
and answer as quickly as I can,

'cause I know everyone's dying to know,
but I can't feel like

that I can do that
appropriately right now.

-Because...
-Does she know that?

-Let's bring her in here, talk about it.
-I don't know.

She's like, "I don't want
you kissing her."

Sorry. You're talking about
something serious,

but somebody said bring Yoly here
and talk. Grab your purse.

[Xander] I hate to spotlight
Yoly and I's relationship right now.

-But... here we go.
-[Yoly] Oh God.

[Mal] So, just to catch you up to speed,
like, I've loved you at our worst.

I still love you. I still choose you.

Um, and I was just asking Xander,

"I'm curious if you choose Yoly
the same way I choose Yoly."

I mean, no, because I...
That's not the history that we have.

But do you choose her?

I'm... I'm choosing myself right now.

[Mal] Fair.

Fair.

I would hope that
you choose yourself also.

-This isn't the decision night.
-It's not.

[dramatic pop music playing]

So was tonight the fun cocktail party
we envisioned or the... dramatic 2.0?

I don't know where you went, but...

[Rae] I know where I was.

[Lexi] How was it seeing Vanessa?

She had asked me at one point,
"Are you avoiding me?" and I'm like,

"I don't know, maybe."

I... It's just so awkward for me.

-So uncomfortable.
-I dunno why you couldn't be honest.

I'm not looking for her
to be a part of our life.

And if you haven't set that boundary,
how will that boundary be known?

Ugh...

[inhales deeply]

-What?
-You look at me, like, with disgust.

Like, as soon as, like, she walked up
and we, like, touched for a second.

I don't want that.

How do you not get that?

I made it very clear
that I needed to be chosen.

This was such a simple way
for you to choose me.

-I thought we had a good night.
-We did.

-I just still feel...
-We obviously didn't.

-I didn't...
-She hugged you first.

I maybe, like, went like this

and literally didn't even look at her
in the face.

I didn't.

Okay.

You think I made, like, really intense
eye contact with her? Like, I didn't.

She still clearly has power
in this relationship.

It sucks, but...

-Oh my God.
-I'm not saying that about you.

It's ridiculous.

No, I didn't say that about you.
I... It affects me... not you.

Okay.

I'm not asking you to walk away now.

All I'm saying is it bothers me.

I don't want her in my life.

I'm in this with you.
I'm trying to think about you. Like...

Why are we even talking
about this situation? Like...

Because I want to feel supported.

I do support you.

It doesn't mean I need
to not look someone in the eye ever.

-You wanted me to be like, "Fuck you."
-No.

I just wanted you to not look at her
and to just not talk to her.

-I feel like I didn't engage.
-I didn't look at her once tonight.

She's fucking with our life,
and I don't like it.

I don't like it.

The antagonistic behavior.

She's not stupid.

In the way she manipulates
and she behaves, she's plenty calculated.

"Let me go poke there."

"My relationship with Xander's
not working out? Mmm, let me poke there."

She is calculated, Rae.

Down to her fuckin' core.

She is calculated and full of shit.

Not a good person.

Not a good person.

Anything I want to talk about, you shut...
Or you make a joke about it, and, like...

Sure, 'cause you had
good times with her. I get it.

I did have an experience here.

Like, it was hard.
Just as we're having an experience here.

[tense music playing]

I'm sad this turned out like this,
because I didn't...

I don't know. We talked last night
about just wanting to have good moments.

And I felt like today we had that.

-Like, I was with you, like...
-I'm...

Part of this process
is identifying our values.

I... I can't tiptoe around this shit...

before we get engaged.

-Why are you making that face?
-I don't know what to tell you.

All you can focus on is the negatives.

For the love of fuck,
stop putting words into my mouth.

-Hmm.
-Please.

Stop saying what I am
and am not feeling right now.

Yeah, it is hard when people do that.

Then, like, just fucking
don't be with me, then.

It's like fucking cancer.

It just eats at you.

This is the girl
that looked me dead in the fucking face

and told me what you did with her hands.

That person.

Do you know how hard it is to relive that?

Oh my fucking God.
It was just a hug. It was a hug.

I think she is more consumed
by how she feels about Vanessa

than the progression of our relationship.

There's so many ups and downs.

And, like... [sighs]

At the end of this we're supposed to have
an engagement, and I don't know...

[sniffles] ...how that can even happen.

Okay.

[Rae] I tried my best.

Like, I did my part,
and my part wasn't good enough.

[dark, brooding pop song playing]

[Margaux yipping]

I'm so proud of you.

Bye.

I just want to get straight to it
'cause I just can't even.

Damn, straight to? I dunno
what that means, but I'm here for it.

I guess your conversation with Xander...

You guys were talking about
me and Xander's relationship.

I was like, "Are you sure of Yoly
the way she's sure of you?"

-Do you think I'm sure of Xander?
-Yes.

What do you think I'm sure of?

You've been sure enough to let me know

that you're unsure of us
because of Xander.

But, no matter what,
even at our worst, I still choose Yoly.

If she chooses you, I still choose Yoly.

That's my person. "And I just want
to know if you choose her the same way,"

and she said, "I don't know.
I can't answer that."

-She didn't choose you, Yoly.
-You're taking the choice away from me.

I'm not.

You're taking my autonomy away from me,
because I'm not ready to make a choice.

I never took away from that.

I've showed up very consistent to you
this entire time.

[Yoly] Absolutely have.

Now I'm taking your autonomy away,
because I'm not like... crucified over this?

I think that's unfair for you to say.

When you ask me how I feel about Xander,
there's love there. There's comfort.

There's ease there.

But there's also comfort
and ease and love with you and I.

You can't have us both.

I'm very much in love with you.

What I can't lie about is that
the romance is not there for me.

I tried a little last night.
It felt comfortable. I'm doing my best.

Like, I'm here. I'm showing up.

And I'm so grateful. So grateful.

Do not take it for granted at all. At all.

Okay, I'll show up the way I'm showing up.

I'll make that consistent,
'cause I can do that.

I can commit to that.
We go to intimacy therapy.

I can commit to that.
We can get through that.

But at what point
do I keep neglecting myself?

I'd love to ask the same question
'cause I waited three years for you...

-I get that you did that...
-Stop cutting me off.

I've waited three years
for you to get to "hell yes."

Okay.

Now you're expecting me to be like,
"Mal's been showing up

for the last two weeks.
Now she's my 'hell yeah.'"

-Like, that's really fucking shitty.
-Is it shitty?

It is. You haven't showed up
like that in 3 years.

Took you 3 weeks to make
somebody else a "hell yeah."

-They showed up right off the bat.
-Is Xander your "hell yes"?

Is Xander your "hell yes"?

I can't say that,
but I'll say it doesn't seem as cloudy.

As much as you deserve your "hell yes,"

I also deserve my "hell yes."

And if I'm like your "kinda"

or "maybe it could be,
and I love her so much, but possibly..."

If I'm not that, then let me go.

What if I don't wanna let you go?

[tense music playing]

I cannot imagine how hard this is
to be in your position, at all.

But I'm asking you
to not just, like, give up.

I'm not trying to give up.

I'm here.

Do you want a hug?

[softly] No.

What are you talking about, Yoly?
Do you want niggas to die for you?

You want to see both of us fight for you
and bleed so you can see, like,

"Who died for me?
I'm gonna pick that person."

-Is that what you want?
-No.

What do you want from me?

I am dying for you, fam. What do you want?

-[Margaux barks]
-It's okay.

Fucking give me a break.

[Margaux barking]

[Yoly] It's okay.

She's going outside.

[Margaux growls, barks]

[Margaux whimpers softly]

It's okay.

[dark, brooding pop song playing]

[Mal] I'm shutting down.
It is done for me.

It is done. I'm done.
I'm done with all of this.

I am done with this entire thing.

I'm done.

I have nothing else to say.

[glasses clattering]

-You like these pants, huh?
-Yeah.

[Vanessa] Whew!

To be honest, I'm just so relieved
that that night is over.

My biggest bummer of the night,
through everything,

was realizing that
Rae really wasn't gonna talk to me.

If that's how she's gonna be controlled
by a 24-year-old,

they don't need to be together,
because, like, she chose you.

That should be meaningful enough
for her to stand her ground

and be like, "I'm gonna talk to the person
I had a trial marriage with."

Yeah.

You talked to Yoly a lot.

I'm like, "I see she's with Yoly,
and I will not look over,

and I'll distance myself
so I cannot hear any word being said."

I'm like... [exhales]

You did... fantastic.

[sighs] Thank you.

Holy shit.

I was so proud
every time I looked over at you tonight.

[chuckles quietly]

I feel we're at a point where

I don't need to be forcing
a distance between you and Yoly.

It just didn't feel necessary.

Everyone's team Yoly. They're like,
"You need to choose Yoly now."

"If you're gonna, choose her."

I'm like, "You don't need to gang up
on me. I'm not ready to choose now."

This is why today is not decision day.

-That's not what I came here for.
-What a thing to say.

When you came in here
wanting to marry someone else.

Also, so fucking disrespectful to me.

-We're going through some shit.
-Yeah.

[Vanessa chuckles]

Fucking sucks.

You hurt me a lot.

But I love you.

[gentle, sweeping music playing]

I love you, and I want to be with you.

I want to end up with you.
I would love that.

That would be my ideal end to...
not this experience but, like, life.

I will always love you.

Said that since day one,
and that's what I need to remember.

[uplifting pop song playing]

You're amazing...

It really is really nice to hear.

[Xander] I love you.

♪ Tell me that it's worth the wait ♪

♪ 'Cause now I'm dreaming wide awake ♪

I'm excited to make the most
of our next few days together.

Me too.

♪ Better than we've ever been ♪

♪ This is here, it's happening ♪

♪ This is our time ♪

♪ Better than we've ever been ♪

♪ This is here, it's happening ♪

♪ This is our time ♪

[Vanessa moans]

♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪

♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪

♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪

♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪

♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪

♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna ever stop ♪

♪ I'm always gonna shake it up ♪

♪ I'm always gonna shake it up ♪

♪ 'Cause I've almost reached the top ♪