The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 4, Episode 3 - Hold the Lyin' King Please/Suite Mystery of Wife - full transcript
[instrumental music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever
there's a crime or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve at all
it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day or night
whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just wook awound you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety ♪
[music continues]
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[dramatic music]
[yapping]
splash
[music continues]
bark bark bark
[whimpers]
[knocking on door]
- Yes?
- Hello, Granny.
We need your help.
[instrumental music]
(Granny)
'You must really need help
to track me all the way here'
to my summer cottage.
Well, what can I do
for you boys?
It has been written
that you are a finder
of lost things, O Granny.
And we have lost something
of vital importance.
I am Eric the Yellow
and these are
my Viking clansmen.
Eric the Peach, Eric the Beige
and Eric the Lavender.
All the good colors were taken.
[chuckles]
I thought the Viking days
were over.
Oh, well, there's a few of us
still kickin' around.
We only pillage
on the weekends now.
slurp
We need you to help us find
the last existing symbol
of the immortal Viking spirit.
The golden statue of Thor!
Viking god of sky and thunder.
My men have lost
their Viking faith
their Viking spirit.
Our Viking joie de vivre.
And now the Valkyrie maidens
will pass it over
and we will not be chosen
to feast with Odin
in the Halls of Asgard!
[sobbing]
I see. Well..
Uh, maybe a couple
of self-help books
would be the ticket here.
Uh, more tea?
Help us find
the golden statue of Thor
to restore our faith
and ensure our passage
to the eternal
Halls of Valhalla!
Well, I'll do my best.
When did you first notice
the statue was missing?
(Eric the Yellow)
'In Iceland, around
ten-thirty.'
10:30 last night?
(Eric the Yellow)
'1030 AD.'
[spits]
We've been busy.
(Granny)
You're sure you want us
to crew on your ship?
My men need a rest.
Besides, they've really been
getting on my nerves lately.
[instrumental music]
[dramatic music]
[barking]
[laughs]
By Odin's hand
I'll make a Viking crew
out of you yet!
Ooh, I think I could get used
to this kind
of fashion statement.
Behold, Tweety Bwoad Feather!
Behold,
Tweety the mid-morning snack.
- Ugh!
- Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh!
[Eric the Yellow laughs]
I think
your little sea-fowl here
has the blood of a Viking
in him.
You can man the crow's nest,
little warrior.
And you can man the oars.
Row well and wive, puddy!
No charts, no compass, no maps.
How on Earth are we going
to find our way to Iceland?
With this! It's a sun stone.
Traditional
Viking navigational device.
That's going to guide us
to Iceland?
Trust me, it's fail-safe.
We'll find Iceland in one piece.
[sighs]
I just hope
we find my cottage in one piece.
[intense music]
[indistinct chatter]
(Eric the Beige)
'You shall taste my sword,
by Thor'
and England shall be mine.
A-ha!
Oh, curse the serpent!
[laughs]
Oh, double ones! Roll again!
Whoa!
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
[instrumental
"Row Row Row Your Boat"]
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da ♪♪
[slurps]
You better watch out, puddy.
- I have Viking blood in me.
- Yeah?
Well, I hope your Viking blood
won't upset my empty stomach.
♪ Beware my sword
and magic helmet ♪
♪ Magic helmet ♪
♪ Magic helmet ♪
Magic helmet?
♪ Magic helmet ♪
♪ And I'll give you a sample ♪♪
[Sylvester screaming]
splash
Magic helmet. Sheesh!
[chuckles]
(Eric the Yellow)
'Land, ho!'
Iceland off the starboard bow!
Uh, tell me, Eric
since when do the men
of Iceland wear kilts?
(Eric the Yellow)
'They don't. Why?'
(Granny)
'Oh, that's what
I was afraid of.'
Typical Viking, never wants
to ask for directions.
Yoo-hoo! Excuse me.
Can you help us?
We seem to be lost.
(Eric the Peach)
What's this muck?
Lobster bisque. Try some.
[sniffs]
[slurps]
Mm. Oh, yes. Yummy.
[dramatic music]
[wind howling]
Tweety Bwoad Feather
weans into the icy storm.
Wind-withered and battle-scarred
he sights the enemy ship
on the horizon.
(Tweety)
'Taking up his twusty sword'
Tweety Bwoad Feather
pwepares for battle.
It's halfway, the host from
the enemy ship falls doomed.
By Odin! By Thor!
- Oh!
- Bye-bye.
[intense music]
[groaning]
[screams]
splash
Don't mess with a Viking, puddy.
[panting]
[laughing]
(Eric the Yellow)
'Land, ho!'
Iceland off the port bow!
(Granny)
'I have a bad feeling
about this.'
By Odin, I knew we should've
taken a left turn at Greenland.
Give me that.
Uh, yoo-hoo!
[instrumental music]
- 'A-ha!'
- Huh!
Gotcha, my little
feather pu-pu-pudding.
What's gonna save your
little yellow tail this time?
Viking blood? Viking magic?
No, Viking luck.
(Granny)
'Land, ho!'
[Sylvester screams]
(Granny)
This sun stone works pretty well
once you get the hang of it.
Hm, beginner's luck.
[blows raspberry]
[grunting]
[whistles]
(Granny)
Well, if we're going to look
for this statue of yours
we'll need some maps
of the island.
This could take months.
Maps? Fie!
We Vikings have a nose for this.
The only thing
that smells around here
is your sense of direction.
I'll be back in a jiffy.
[door chimes chiming]
Excuse me.
I'd like a topographical map
of Iceland, please.
I, um, I don't suppose
you have
any ancient statues of Thor?
thud
Do you take Visa?
What's a five-letter word
for crochet?
Oh, "Enchanted Lavender!"
I haven't read this one yet.
We're all out
of Darjeeling, mates.
Will Orange Pekoe do?
(Granny)
'Yoo-hoo! We're home!'
[triumphant music]
Behold!
The golden statue of Thor!
By Odin!
By Thor!
By gum!
[instrumental music]
You have restored
the Viking spirit to my men
and the Gates of Valhalla
will once more be open to us.
Thank you, O Granny.
(Granny)
Goodbye! Good luck!
Phew. Now things can get back
to normal around here.
Ah-h!
Ouch! Ooh! Ah! Ouch! Ow!
[sobbing]
Beware, puddy, I am the spiwit
of the gweat god Sor!
Oh. You're sore?
I'm so sore, I won't be able
to sit down for a week!
[instrumental music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever
there's a crime or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve at all
it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day or night
whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just wook awound you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester And Tweety ♪
[music continues]
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[dramatic music]
[yapping]
splash
[music continues]
bark bark bark
[whimpers]
[knocking on door]
- Yes?
- Hello, Granny.
We need your help.
[instrumental music]
(Granny)
'You must really need help
to track me all the way here'
to my summer cottage.
Well, what can I do
for you boys?
It has been written
that you are a finder
of lost things, O Granny.
And we have lost something
of vital importance.
I am Eric the Yellow
and these are
my Viking clansmen.
Eric the Peach, Eric the Beige
and Eric the Lavender.
All the good colors were taken.
[chuckles]
I thought the Viking days
were over.
Oh, well, there's a few of us
still kickin' around.
We only pillage
on the weekends now.
slurp
We need you to help us find
the last existing symbol
of the immortal Viking spirit.
The golden statue of Thor!
Viking god of sky and thunder.
My men have lost
their Viking faith
their Viking spirit.
Our Viking joie de vivre.
And now the Valkyrie maidens
will pass it over
and we will not be chosen
to feast with Odin
in the Halls of Asgard!
[sobbing]
I see. Well..
Uh, maybe a couple
of self-help books
would be the ticket here.
Uh, more tea?
Help us find
the golden statue of Thor
to restore our faith
and ensure our passage
to the eternal
Halls of Valhalla!
Well, I'll do my best.
When did you first notice
the statue was missing?
(Eric the Yellow)
'In Iceland, around
ten-thirty.'
10:30 last night?
(Eric the Yellow)
'1030 AD.'
[spits]
We've been busy.
(Granny)
You're sure you want us
to crew on your ship?
My men need a rest.
Besides, they've really been
getting on my nerves lately.
[instrumental music]
[dramatic music]
[barking]
[laughs]
By Odin's hand
I'll make a Viking crew
out of you yet!
Ooh, I think I could get used
to this kind
of fashion statement.
Behold, Tweety Bwoad Feather!
Behold,
Tweety the mid-morning snack.
- Ugh!
- Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh!
[Eric the Yellow laughs]
I think
your little sea-fowl here
has the blood of a Viking
in him.
You can man the crow's nest,
little warrior.
And you can man the oars.
Row well and wive, puddy!
No charts, no compass, no maps.
How on Earth are we going
to find our way to Iceland?
With this! It's a sun stone.
Traditional
Viking navigational device.
That's going to guide us
to Iceland?
Trust me, it's fail-safe.
We'll find Iceland in one piece.
[sighs]
I just hope
we find my cottage in one piece.
[intense music]
[indistinct chatter]
(Eric the Beige)
'You shall taste my sword,
by Thor'
and England shall be mine.
A-ha!
Oh, curse the serpent!
[laughs]
Oh, double ones! Roll again!
Whoa!
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
[instrumental
"Row Row Row Your Boat"]
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da-da ♪
♪ Dum da-da da-da
dum da-da da ♪♪
[slurps]
You better watch out, puddy.
- I have Viking blood in me.
- Yeah?
Well, I hope your Viking blood
won't upset my empty stomach.
♪ Beware my sword
and magic helmet ♪
♪ Magic helmet ♪
♪ Magic helmet ♪
Magic helmet?
♪ Magic helmet ♪
♪ And I'll give you a sample ♪♪
[Sylvester screaming]
splash
Magic helmet. Sheesh!
[chuckles]
(Eric the Yellow)
'Land, ho!'
Iceland off the starboard bow!
Uh, tell me, Eric
since when do the men
of Iceland wear kilts?
(Eric the Yellow)
'They don't. Why?'
(Granny)
'Oh, that's what
I was afraid of.'
Typical Viking, never wants
to ask for directions.
Yoo-hoo! Excuse me.
Can you help us?
We seem to be lost.
(Eric the Peach)
What's this muck?
Lobster bisque. Try some.
[sniffs]
[slurps]
Mm. Oh, yes. Yummy.
[dramatic music]
[wind howling]
Tweety Bwoad Feather
weans into the icy storm.
Wind-withered and battle-scarred
he sights the enemy ship
on the horizon.
(Tweety)
'Taking up his twusty sword'
Tweety Bwoad Feather
pwepares for battle.
It's halfway, the host from
the enemy ship falls doomed.
By Odin! By Thor!
- Oh!
- Bye-bye.
[intense music]
[groaning]
[screams]
splash
Don't mess with a Viking, puddy.
[panting]
[laughing]
(Eric the Yellow)
'Land, ho!'
Iceland off the port bow!
(Granny)
'I have a bad feeling
about this.'
By Odin, I knew we should've
taken a left turn at Greenland.
Give me that.
Uh, yoo-hoo!
[instrumental music]
- 'A-ha!'
- Huh!
Gotcha, my little
feather pu-pu-pudding.
What's gonna save your
little yellow tail this time?
Viking blood? Viking magic?
No, Viking luck.
(Granny)
'Land, ho!'
[Sylvester screams]
(Granny)
This sun stone works pretty well
once you get the hang of it.
Hm, beginner's luck.
[blows raspberry]
[grunting]
[whistles]
(Granny)
Well, if we're going to look
for this statue of yours
we'll need some maps
of the island.
This could take months.
Maps? Fie!
We Vikings have a nose for this.
The only thing
that smells around here
is your sense of direction.
I'll be back in a jiffy.
[door chimes chiming]
Excuse me.
I'd like a topographical map
of Iceland, please.
I, um, I don't suppose
you have
any ancient statues of Thor?
thud
Do you take Visa?
What's a five-letter word
for crochet?
Oh, "Enchanted Lavender!"
I haven't read this one yet.
We're all out
of Darjeeling, mates.
Will Orange Pekoe do?
(Granny)
'Yoo-hoo! We're home!'
[triumphant music]
Behold!
The golden statue of Thor!
By Odin!
By Thor!
By gum!
[instrumental music]
You have restored
the Viking spirit to my men
and the Gates of Valhalla
will once more be open to us.
Thank you, O Granny.
(Granny)
Goodbye! Good luck!
Phew. Now things can get back
to normal around here.
Ah-h!
Ouch! Ooh! Ah! Ouch! Ow!
[sobbing]
Beware, puddy, I am the spiwit
of the gweat god Sor!
Oh. You're sore?
I'm so sore, I won't be able
to sit down for a week!
[instrumental music]