The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 2, Episode 3 - Don't Polka Me/The Granny Vanishes - full transcript
Cannes, France, home
of the world-renowned
Cannes film festival.
Where the beautiful
people come to rub elbows
and anything else they
can get their hands on.
Unfortunately, that's not
where we were headed.
No, we're going down the
road to Cannes Knot France.
Home of the James Caan film festival.
Heya, how you doin'?
'This cannot be!'
'Sacre bleu!'
'All the films have been stolen!'
James Caan can't!
Flick filched from film fest!
Huh! Oh, this is dreadful!
Why is it that a mystery always pops up
in the middle of my vacation?
'Cause, if it didn't, we
wouldn't have a show.
Whirr
Don't lay on one side too long.
I like my birds evenly cooked.
Slurp
boing
Oh, puss-puss!
Did my beach ball hurt you?
Oh.
'Fabulous! Just what
I've been looking for.'
Larson Sline, Hollywood super-producer.
And, you are? Oh, who cares? But, you?
I must have you for
my next spectacular.
Oh!
Wow! What a way to get chicks.
Hmm.
D-do you mind?
You're blocking my sun.
Pardon, madame.
My detector zinks it has found metal.
Oh, that's alright.
It's the Super 8 movie camera of mine.
I'm making a home movie
of our vacation.
It's my little hobby.
My name's Granny. Uh,
but, don't tell anyone.
I don't want to give out autographs.
I am Jean Claude Van Dang.
I come to Cannes Knot every
year for the film festival.
How was I to know that
I would also meet
such a beautiful film maker.
Oh, Jean Claude.
To make up for my errant detector
permit me to show you
all the sights around
town worth filming.
And, then, we can screen
them later over dinner
on my yacht.
'Your yacht?'
- Why, yes. The Cannes Do.
- Oh, my!
Well, I would like to see the sights.
Hector, you're in charge.
Make sure nothing happens to
our dear little Tweety bird.
Who says the fwench aren't fwendwy?
Oh, well, think I'll
go back to the hotel
and hang out at the pool.
Thud thud thud
boing
Oh, puddy dog lost his
head over that one.
Fabulous!
Just what I've been looking for.
Mike Gofish.
'Hollywood super-producer.'
And, you are? Oh, who cares?
But, this bird, I must
have him for my..
...next spectacular, "Raging Bird."
He's perfect.
I always thought I had a face
that only 30 million people could wove.
Hmm, you just need to
gain weight for the role.
You know, put some meat
on those hollow bones.
I've been chic.
Say, I think there might be a
part in my flick for you too.
As the down-on-his-luck
slobbering brother-in-law.
Oh!
Only, you'll have to
lose a little weight.
Pat pat pat
Hmm, tell you what?
Let's kill two birds with
one stone, so to speak.
You paddle us out to my
yacht, and you can be lunch.
I, uh.. I mean, do lunch.
'Ah, here we are..'
My yacht.
My pubwic awaits!
Bring on the gwub!
Which way to the kitchen?
Ah, umm, well, this way?
'No, no, sorry, I mean, umm, this way.'
Come along, porky.
Now, where did I put that kitchen?
Ah!
Crash
That's what I like about my ship.
Plenty of s-s-storage space.
Crash
click
creak
At last!
I mean, uh, the last stop
on our tour the kitchen.
Crepe suzette, creme brulee
'and, cheese souffle.'
slurp slurp slurp
And, here's a scrawny
little bone for you.
Fetch.
Oh!
Whoa!
Splash
slurp
I could just eat this food
but, hey, what fun would that be?
Clank
'Through the beak and passed the gums.'
Look out stomach, here it comes!
- I think I'm getting full.
- Oh, come on now.
'There's always room for this stuff.'
Gosh, I'm stuffed, Mr. Dofish.
Am I ready for my role yet?
Yeah.
Slurp
- Your sesame seed roll.
- Uh-oh!
- It's the bad old puddy tat!
- Ha!
Crash
splash splash
creak
Come back here, you
saturated fat feast!
Whoa!
Crash
splash
That puddy will never find me up here.
Now, where did that
walking advertisement
for SLIMQUICK disappear to?
Ah!
Hmm.
A-ha!
Ptooey ptooey
thud thud
clank
Whoa!
Woo!
Crash
This must be the pooped deck.
Thud
'Help! Help!'
Help!
Boing boing boing
thud
I just need to powder my nose.
Oh, goodness. I shouldn't have
had all those cappuccinos.
You wouldn't wallop a guy
with designer glasses now, would ya?
Thud
click click
Jean Claude!
There's film in your bath tub.
I, uh, must talk to
the maid about that.
Property of James Caan film festival?
You stole these films!
Oui.I-I wanted to host the very first
floating film festival
here aboard my yacht.
And I wanted your little shots
to add to my collection.
My little shots?
Your sight-seeing film shots.
A famous filmmaker like
yourself would have made
a worthy addition to my festival.
But I'm no famous filmmaker.
I'm a famous detective!
Why, you're nothing
but a James con-man!
What are you going to do?
Arrest me?
Crash
Get him off of me!
My goodness, Tweety.
I better start buying
you low-fat birdseed.
Oh, well. Cho much for being
a Hollywood heavyweight.
of the world-renowned
Cannes film festival.
Where the beautiful
people come to rub elbows
and anything else they
can get their hands on.
Unfortunately, that's not
where we were headed.
No, we're going down the
road to Cannes Knot France.
Home of the James Caan film festival.
Heya, how you doin'?
'This cannot be!'
'Sacre bleu!'
'All the films have been stolen!'
James Caan can't!
Flick filched from film fest!
Huh! Oh, this is dreadful!
Why is it that a mystery always pops up
in the middle of my vacation?
'Cause, if it didn't, we
wouldn't have a show.
Whirr
Don't lay on one side too long.
I like my birds evenly cooked.
Slurp
boing
Oh, puss-puss!
Did my beach ball hurt you?
Oh.
'Fabulous! Just what
I've been looking for.'
Larson Sline, Hollywood super-producer.
And, you are? Oh, who cares? But, you?
I must have you for
my next spectacular.
Oh!
Wow! What a way to get chicks.
Hmm.
D-do you mind?
You're blocking my sun.
Pardon, madame.
My detector zinks it has found metal.
Oh, that's alright.
It's the Super 8 movie camera of mine.
I'm making a home movie
of our vacation.
It's my little hobby.
My name's Granny. Uh,
but, don't tell anyone.
I don't want to give out autographs.
I am Jean Claude Van Dang.
I come to Cannes Knot every
year for the film festival.
How was I to know that
I would also meet
such a beautiful film maker.
Oh, Jean Claude.
To make up for my errant detector
permit me to show you
all the sights around
town worth filming.
And, then, we can screen
them later over dinner
on my yacht.
'Your yacht?'
- Why, yes. The Cannes Do.
- Oh, my!
Well, I would like to see the sights.
Hector, you're in charge.
Make sure nothing happens to
our dear little Tweety bird.
Who says the fwench aren't fwendwy?
Oh, well, think I'll
go back to the hotel
and hang out at the pool.
Thud thud thud
boing
Oh, puddy dog lost his
head over that one.
Fabulous!
Just what I've been looking for.
Mike Gofish.
'Hollywood super-producer.'
And, you are? Oh, who cares?
But, this bird, I must
have him for my..
...next spectacular, "Raging Bird."
He's perfect.
I always thought I had a face
that only 30 million people could wove.
Hmm, you just need to
gain weight for the role.
You know, put some meat
on those hollow bones.
I've been chic.
Say, I think there might be a
part in my flick for you too.
As the down-on-his-luck
slobbering brother-in-law.
Oh!
Only, you'll have to
lose a little weight.
Pat pat pat
Hmm, tell you what?
Let's kill two birds with
one stone, so to speak.
You paddle us out to my
yacht, and you can be lunch.
I, uh.. I mean, do lunch.
'Ah, here we are..'
My yacht.
My pubwic awaits!
Bring on the gwub!
Which way to the kitchen?
Ah, umm, well, this way?
'No, no, sorry, I mean, umm, this way.'
Come along, porky.
Now, where did I put that kitchen?
Ah!
Crash
That's what I like about my ship.
Plenty of s-s-storage space.
Crash
click
creak
At last!
I mean, uh, the last stop
on our tour the kitchen.
Crepe suzette, creme brulee
'and, cheese souffle.'
slurp slurp slurp
And, here's a scrawny
little bone for you.
Fetch.
Oh!
Whoa!
Splash
slurp
I could just eat this food
but, hey, what fun would that be?
Clank
'Through the beak and passed the gums.'
Look out stomach, here it comes!
- I think I'm getting full.
- Oh, come on now.
'There's always room for this stuff.'
Gosh, I'm stuffed, Mr. Dofish.
Am I ready for my role yet?
Yeah.
Slurp
- Your sesame seed roll.
- Uh-oh!
- It's the bad old puddy tat!
- Ha!
Crash
splash splash
creak
Come back here, you
saturated fat feast!
Whoa!
Crash
splash
That puddy will never find me up here.
Now, where did that
walking advertisement
for SLIMQUICK disappear to?
Ah!
Hmm.
A-ha!
Ptooey ptooey
thud thud
clank
Whoa!
Woo!
Crash
This must be the pooped deck.
Thud
'Help! Help!'
Help!
Boing boing boing
thud
I just need to powder my nose.
Oh, goodness. I shouldn't have
had all those cappuccinos.
You wouldn't wallop a guy
with designer glasses now, would ya?
Thud
click click
Jean Claude!
There's film in your bath tub.
I, uh, must talk to
the maid about that.
Property of James Caan film festival?
You stole these films!
Oui.I-I wanted to host the very first
floating film festival
here aboard my yacht.
And I wanted your little shots
to add to my collection.
My little shots?
Your sight-seeing film shots.
A famous filmmaker like
yourself would have made
a worthy addition to my festival.
But I'm no famous filmmaker.
I'm a famous detective!
Why, you're nothing
but a James con-man!
What are you going to do?
Arrest me?
Crash
Get him off of me!
My goodness, Tweety.
I better start buying
you low-fat birdseed.
Oh, well. Cho much for being
a Hollywood heavyweight.