The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 1, Episode 2 - Platinum Wheel of Fortune - full transcript
[instrumental music]
(Sylvester)
Monte Carlo
playground of
the rich and famous.
And the sight of another
mystifying mystery
I single-handedly solved.
In this casino,
the rich and famous
are about to get
a brand new toy
a solid platinum
roulette wheel.
Mesdames et Messieurs
at last, the unveiling
of the one of a kind--
[gasps]
None of a kind.
The wheel has been stolen.
We must call
the world's greatest detective.
- Hey, lady.
- Ha-ha-ha!
[cell phone rings]
(man on phone)
'Monsieur, help us.'
I am much too busy to find
your silly wheel, you know.
Don't you carry a spare?
Au revoir.
Art unspools before me.
[speaks in foreign language]
The world's greatest detective
is busy.
[car horn honks]
Granny's never too busy
to solve a crime.
Uh, but I came here
to drive the Grand Prix.
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
And on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Some day I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops a-plenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Pardon, madame.
Deliveries go in the rear.
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, such a dry wit.
I'm Granny,
here for the Grand Prix.
But first, I must
investigate
something in the casino.
(Sylvester)
Sylvester the super
sleuth was on the case.
Ah, ah, ah. I don't care
if you're Princess Di.
We have a dress code,
n'est-ce-pas?
Oh, flibberty-gibbert.
[speaks in foreign language]
But what about les animaux?
(Granny)
Voila.
[instrumental music]
Legasp!
[grunts]
Welcome, Your Highness.
(Sylvester)
Yes, sir. Something
just didn't smell right.
[crowd yelling]
Who was that?
That was Sheik Tusheik.
Hurry. I've got to find
that wheel.
[grunting]
[chuckles]
Oh, Sylvester.
Come out of there.
[sniffs]
Oh, land sakes.
No more jack mackerel for you.
If madame would be so kind
as to keep her paws
off my good-luck mascot,
Pitu Le Pew.
And who are you?
Lawrence of Arabia?
I am the high rolling,
fabulously wealthy
Sheik Tusheik. I planned to add
the wheel to my collection.
But now, it is missing.
I didn't know
the wheel was for sale.
It's not.
Ooh, I better help Granny
find that roulette wheel
before the Grand Prix starts.
[slot machine ringing]
[laughs]
[grunting]
Jackpot!
[slot machine ringing]
Ooh. You hit the pussycat pot
in birdseed.
- Ha!
- Dealer plays.
You got to know when to bluff
and when you played enough.
I'm too upset to play.
I wanted that wheel.
It would be a perfect match
for the platinum keno card
I picked up in Laughlin.
[sniffing]
[GRUNTING]
Dogs find me compelling, non?
(Sylvester)
As you can see
my associates were clueless.
(Silas)
'The birds are all mine.'
I have three payments left
on these birds.
- They're coming with me.
- Uh-oh.
It looks like I stumbled
into a divorce court.
You can't leave.
Uh, where will you go?
What will you do?
I'm going back to my old job
as a rocket scientist.
Can't we discuss this
during intermission?
I owe it to my public.
[snoring]
Sorry. I made up my mind.
[sniffing]
The odds were against me.
(Sylvester)
At this moment, I did
what any self-respecting sleuth
would do.
[growling]
crash
I ran like the dickens.
[Sylvester yowling]
[Hector barking]
Where will I ever find someone
to fill her sequins?
(Sylvester)
Then I donned my disguise.
Yes!
The show will go on.
Ooh. Silk looks
flattering on pussy.
(Silas)
Well, don't go, birdie.
It's magic time.
[screams]
[chuckles]
[Hector growling]
[whirring]
Whoops. Pussy's
in the puss-o-matic.
(Sylvester)
I was boxed in
but I still had
a case to solve.
[saw whirring]
(Sylvester)
Things were bad.
Voila.
(Sylvester)
I pulled myself together
and got back to sleuthing.
[instrumental music]
Hmph.
[laughing]
The day before the Grand Prix
and I've gotta find
some exotic roulette wheel.
Oh, why do these things
always happen to me?
[spits]
And why do the French put
so much onion in their food?
[knocking on door]
- Who's there?
- It's me.
The maid.
(Sylvester)
Another suspect
on the scene.
Come to turn down your bed.
[door closes]
Hello?
(Sylvester)
And so the case took
another interesting turn.
And another and another
and another.
Oh. Oh, this case
just has my head spinning.
'Stop the bed,
I want to get off.'
Oh, how do these French
get any sleep?
No wonder they write
such depressing novels.
[knock on door]
[man speaking
in foreign language]
(guard)
This is the police.
Sorry, madame,
but an anonymous tip
informed us you have
the platinum roulette wheel.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Oh? Then qu'est que c'estthis?
[gasps]
I must get out of here
and clear my name.
For the second half
of my show
the volcanic hat trick.
Mm-mm.
Mesquite-smoked canary.
Hmm. Lepoof is a dud.
Come to papa, you pip-squeak.
boom
Yipe! A combustible fusillade.
[Sylvester yelping]
Pussy's hot tonight.
[yawns]
[yelping]
Ah! Legasp!
My dream Goddess.
What can I say?
Pepe Le Pew is my fourth cousin.
It runs in the family.
[instrumental music]
Puppy want a chew bone?
All you have to do
is bring the sheik good luck.
He wins, you get a bone.
Get it?
(Sylvester)
Meanwhile, I returned
to the box for more clues.
Yeesh! That was close.
[screams]
[gasps]
- Yuck!
- Oh, playing hard to get.
I like that in a woman.
Do you mind?
How dare you perforate
my pincushion of love.
En garde!
[instrumental music]
(Silas)
It's never too late
to pursue a career
in the fast-growing field
of asbestos removal.
I know a little place
where we can be alone.
[screams]
Oh, I am love's captive, non?
(Sylvester)
I was being followed.
Granny was being framed.
Suffering succotash.
They don't build 'em
like they used to.
Well, here's the problem.
Goodness, for something unique
these platinum roulette
wheels are everywhere.
[engine starts]
[explosion]
I knew we should've rented
a Yugo.
[siren wails]
Lucky for you I know CPR, yes?
crash
Oh. At least,
I've met my deductible.
Can you put this baby back
together in time for the race?
There's a shiny quarter
in it for you.
Uh, you got yourself a deal.
(Sylvester)
Aha. The race,
the platinum wheel.
Perhaps there was a connection.
[siren wails]
Madame Granny, we meet
again.
First, you run away
then you steal the wheel
back
from the police.
- It's a frame up.
- Oh, sure.
That's what everyone says
who steals
a platinum roulette wheel.
One has to get up
pretty early to get away
from the palace guard.
[laughs]
boom
(Sylvester) Obviously, it was
all up to me.
Ooh. Granny and me
are jailbirds on the lam.
(Sylvester)
Granny was in big trouble.
But then again, so was I.
[yells]
Oh, it's bad luck
to see one's bride
before the ceremony.
But my lips cannot wait
one second more.
Mine can.
(Pitu)
'Wait.
We're in the tower suite.'
[Sylvester yelling]
gulp
Return to me, my Goddess.
Like I have a choice.
[engines revving]
swish swish swish
Come on, Tweety,
the race is starting.
Excuse me, could you
solve a crime for me?
I'm really overbooked
this episode.
(Sylvester)
I told you
there was a connection.
[engine starts]
screech
[speaking in foreign language]
swish swish swish
[revving]
screech
But I'm supposed to go fast.
Police business.
I always wanted to say that.
Oh, don't fear l'amour,
my petunia.
I love hanging around
with you.
[yelling]
Do you find this love business
has its ups and downs?
[yelling]
- Oof!
- Spread out, pussy.
- I'm Granny's copilot.
- Aah!
whack
[grunting]
[cars approaching]
[screaming]
thud
Pussycat road pizza.
[instrumental music]
swish swish swish
[Pitu kissing]
[Sylvester screams]
[yelling]
- Unh!
- Ooh.
Something's wrong
with the wheel.
Check it out, pussycat.
Careful, pussy.
Don't get a migraine.
- Aah!
- 'Pussy go round and round..'
And where he stops..
Ah, who cares?
[revving]
You've been spared,
my inner tube of love.
Is it just me or do skunk puns
stink worse than regular ones?
[music continues]
[speaking in foreign language]
splash
You lost it all for me.
And how dare you make doggy logs
under my chair!
kick
crash
[gasps]
[whistle tweets]
[crowd cheering]
(Sylvester)
I was busy circling in
on the culprit.
Sheesh. What a pain
in the asphalt.
(guard)
Attention.
This woman is no winner.
She is a thief.
But I'm innocent.
Then explain this, Granny.
The stolen wheel
that you've stolen back
from me several times.
'And I'm really
getting tired of it.'
(Sylvester)
Just as I was about
to put it all together
that stupid bird upstaged me.
(Granny)
'You see, I thought
that th-they, well.. I..'
I simply can't.. Wait.
Yes, I can.
It's all here
in this teeny little ball
which is magnetic.
And since it's platinum
'it can only be
the rigged roulette ball'
'that goes with the famed
platinum roulette wheel.'
(all)
Legasp!
I'm surprised
anyone understood that.
I was just winging it.
And now, dramatic close-ups
of the suspects.
(Sylvester)
I knew who it was
but I couldn't
figure out the motive.
(Granny)
'There is one person
crafty enough'
'to cause all this fuss.'
'Silas Micawber.'
(all)
'But why?'
The cut-rate Houdini done it.
You never forgave me
for exposing
your fraudulent mind-reading
trick, did you?
I had to do it.
You ruined my career.
I could've been an idol.
Maybe even on a lunch box
like The Dukes of Hazzard.
But because of you,
I've been reduced
to playing dumps like this.
Okay, Micawber.
You're heading for hard time
in the Monte Carlo brig.
Only one sauce per meal.
What about the wheel?
Uh, a little polish,
some points and plugs
and, uh, she'll be
as good as new.
A Grand Prix victory.
Oh, goodness,
what a titillation.
Where's Sylvester?
Oh, he's around somewhere.
Oh.
[yelling]
thud
[waves crashing]
Mon amour.
We'll never be apart again.
Oh, no!
Ah, pussy love.
[instrumental music]
(Sylvester)
Monte Carlo
playground of
the rich and famous.
And the sight of another
mystifying mystery
I single-handedly solved.
In this casino,
the rich and famous
are about to get
a brand new toy
a solid platinum
roulette wheel.
Mesdames et Messieurs
at last, the unveiling
of the one of a kind--
[gasps]
None of a kind.
The wheel has been stolen.
We must call
the world's greatest detective.
- Hey, lady.
- Ha-ha-ha!
[cell phone rings]
(man on phone)
'Monsieur, help us.'
I am much too busy to find
your silly wheel, you know.
Don't you carry a spare?
Au revoir.
Art unspools before me.
[speaks in foreign language]
The world's greatest detective
is busy.
[car horn honks]
Granny's never too busy
to solve a crime.
Uh, but I came here
to drive the Grand Prix.
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
And on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Some day I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops a-plenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Pardon, madame.
Deliveries go in the rear.
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, such a dry wit.
I'm Granny,
here for the Grand Prix.
But first, I must
investigate
something in the casino.
(Sylvester)
Sylvester the super
sleuth was on the case.
Ah, ah, ah. I don't care
if you're Princess Di.
We have a dress code,
n'est-ce-pas?
Oh, flibberty-gibbert.
[speaks in foreign language]
But what about les animaux?
(Granny)
Voila.
[instrumental music]
Legasp!
[grunts]
Welcome, Your Highness.
(Sylvester)
Yes, sir. Something
just didn't smell right.
[crowd yelling]
Who was that?
That was Sheik Tusheik.
Hurry. I've got to find
that wheel.
[grunting]
[chuckles]
Oh, Sylvester.
Come out of there.
[sniffs]
Oh, land sakes.
No more jack mackerel for you.
If madame would be so kind
as to keep her paws
off my good-luck mascot,
Pitu Le Pew.
And who are you?
Lawrence of Arabia?
I am the high rolling,
fabulously wealthy
Sheik Tusheik. I planned to add
the wheel to my collection.
But now, it is missing.
I didn't know
the wheel was for sale.
It's not.
Ooh, I better help Granny
find that roulette wheel
before the Grand Prix starts.
[slot machine ringing]
[laughs]
[grunting]
Jackpot!
[slot machine ringing]
Ooh. You hit the pussycat pot
in birdseed.
- Ha!
- Dealer plays.
You got to know when to bluff
and when you played enough.
I'm too upset to play.
I wanted that wheel.
It would be a perfect match
for the platinum keno card
I picked up in Laughlin.
[sniffing]
[GRUNTING]
Dogs find me compelling, non?
(Sylvester)
As you can see
my associates were clueless.
(Silas)
'The birds are all mine.'
I have three payments left
on these birds.
- They're coming with me.
- Uh-oh.
It looks like I stumbled
into a divorce court.
You can't leave.
Uh, where will you go?
What will you do?
I'm going back to my old job
as a rocket scientist.
Can't we discuss this
during intermission?
I owe it to my public.
[snoring]
Sorry. I made up my mind.
[sniffing]
The odds were against me.
(Sylvester)
At this moment, I did
what any self-respecting sleuth
would do.
[growling]
crash
I ran like the dickens.
[Sylvester yowling]
[Hector barking]
Where will I ever find someone
to fill her sequins?
(Sylvester)
Then I donned my disguise.
Yes!
The show will go on.
Ooh. Silk looks
flattering on pussy.
(Silas)
Well, don't go, birdie.
It's magic time.
[screams]
[chuckles]
[Hector growling]
[whirring]
Whoops. Pussy's
in the puss-o-matic.
(Sylvester)
I was boxed in
but I still had
a case to solve.
[saw whirring]
(Sylvester)
Things were bad.
Voila.
(Sylvester)
I pulled myself together
and got back to sleuthing.
[instrumental music]
Hmph.
[laughing]
The day before the Grand Prix
and I've gotta find
some exotic roulette wheel.
Oh, why do these things
always happen to me?
[spits]
And why do the French put
so much onion in their food?
[knocking on door]
- Who's there?
- It's me.
The maid.
(Sylvester)
Another suspect
on the scene.
Come to turn down your bed.
[door closes]
Hello?
(Sylvester)
And so the case took
another interesting turn.
And another and another
and another.
Oh. Oh, this case
just has my head spinning.
'Stop the bed,
I want to get off.'
Oh, how do these French
get any sleep?
No wonder they write
such depressing novels.
[knock on door]
[man speaking
in foreign language]
(guard)
This is the police.
Sorry, madame,
but an anonymous tip
informed us you have
the platinum roulette wheel.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Oh? Then qu'est que c'estthis?
[gasps]
I must get out of here
and clear my name.
For the second half
of my show
the volcanic hat trick.
Mm-mm.
Mesquite-smoked canary.
Hmm. Lepoof is a dud.
Come to papa, you pip-squeak.
boom
Yipe! A combustible fusillade.
[Sylvester yelping]
Pussy's hot tonight.
[yawns]
[yelping]
Ah! Legasp!
My dream Goddess.
What can I say?
Pepe Le Pew is my fourth cousin.
It runs in the family.
[instrumental music]
Puppy want a chew bone?
All you have to do
is bring the sheik good luck.
He wins, you get a bone.
Get it?
(Sylvester)
Meanwhile, I returned
to the box for more clues.
Yeesh! That was close.
[screams]
[gasps]
- Yuck!
- Oh, playing hard to get.
I like that in a woman.
Do you mind?
How dare you perforate
my pincushion of love.
En garde!
[instrumental music]
(Silas)
It's never too late
to pursue a career
in the fast-growing field
of asbestos removal.
I know a little place
where we can be alone.
[screams]
Oh, I am love's captive, non?
(Sylvester)
I was being followed.
Granny was being framed.
Suffering succotash.
They don't build 'em
like they used to.
Well, here's the problem.
Goodness, for something unique
these platinum roulette
wheels are everywhere.
[engine starts]
[explosion]
I knew we should've rented
a Yugo.
[siren wails]
Lucky for you I know CPR, yes?
crash
Oh. At least,
I've met my deductible.
Can you put this baby back
together in time for the race?
There's a shiny quarter
in it for you.
Uh, you got yourself a deal.
(Sylvester)
Aha. The race,
the platinum wheel.
Perhaps there was a connection.
[siren wails]
Madame Granny, we meet
again.
First, you run away
then you steal the wheel
back
from the police.
- It's a frame up.
- Oh, sure.
That's what everyone says
who steals
a platinum roulette wheel.
One has to get up
pretty early to get away
from the palace guard.
[laughs]
boom
(Sylvester) Obviously, it was
all up to me.
Ooh. Granny and me
are jailbirds on the lam.
(Sylvester)
Granny was in big trouble.
But then again, so was I.
[yells]
Oh, it's bad luck
to see one's bride
before the ceremony.
But my lips cannot wait
one second more.
Mine can.
(Pitu)
'Wait.
We're in the tower suite.'
[Sylvester yelling]
gulp
Return to me, my Goddess.
Like I have a choice.
[engines revving]
swish swish swish
Come on, Tweety,
the race is starting.
Excuse me, could you
solve a crime for me?
I'm really overbooked
this episode.
(Sylvester)
I told you
there was a connection.
[engine starts]
screech
[speaking in foreign language]
swish swish swish
[revving]
screech
But I'm supposed to go fast.
Police business.
I always wanted to say that.
Oh, don't fear l'amour,
my petunia.
I love hanging around
with you.
[yelling]
Do you find this love business
has its ups and downs?
[yelling]
- Oof!
- Spread out, pussy.
- I'm Granny's copilot.
- Aah!
whack
[grunting]
[cars approaching]
[screaming]
thud
Pussycat road pizza.
[instrumental music]
swish swish swish
[Pitu kissing]
[Sylvester screams]
[yelling]
- Unh!
- Ooh.
Something's wrong
with the wheel.
Check it out, pussycat.
Careful, pussy.
Don't get a migraine.
- Aah!
- 'Pussy go round and round..'
And where he stops..
Ah, who cares?
[revving]
You've been spared,
my inner tube of love.
Is it just me or do skunk puns
stink worse than regular ones?
[music continues]
[speaking in foreign language]
splash
You lost it all for me.
And how dare you make doggy logs
under my chair!
kick
crash
[gasps]
[whistle tweets]
[crowd cheering]
(Sylvester)
I was busy circling in
on the culprit.
Sheesh. What a pain
in the asphalt.
(guard)
Attention.
This woman is no winner.
She is a thief.
But I'm innocent.
Then explain this, Granny.
The stolen wheel
that you've stolen back
from me several times.
'And I'm really
getting tired of it.'
(Sylvester)
Just as I was about
to put it all together
that stupid bird upstaged me.
(Granny)
'You see, I thought
that th-they, well.. I..'
I simply can't.. Wait.
Yes, I can.
It's all here
in this teeny little ball
which is magnetic.
And since it's platinum
'it can only be
the rigged roulette ball'
'that goes with the famed
platinum roulette wheel.'
(all)
Legasp!
I'm surprised
anyone understood that.
I was just winging it.
And now, dramatic close-ups
of the suspects.
(Sylvester)
I knew who it was
but I couldn't
figure out the motive.
(Granny)
'There is one person
crafty enough'
'to cause all this fuss.'
'Silas Micawber.'
(all)
'But why?'
The cut-rate Houdini done it.
You never forgave me
for exposing
your fraudulent mind-reading
trick, did you?
I had to do it.
You ruined my career.
I could've been an idol.
Maybe even on a lunch box
like The Dukes of Hazzard.
But because of you,
I've been reduced
to playing dumps like this.
Okay, Micawber.
You're heading for hard time
in the Monte Carlo brig.
Only one sauce per meal.
What about the wheel?
Uh, a little polish,
some points and plugs
and, uh, she'll be
as good as new.
A Grand Prix victory.
Oh, goodness,
what a titillation.
Where's Sylvester?
Oh, he's around somewhere.
Oh.
[yelling]
thud
[waves crashing]
Mon amour.
We'll never be apart again.
Oh, no!
Ah, pussy love.
[instrumental music]