The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 21, Episode 21 - Moe Letter Blues - full transcript

I reckon we've lost him.
No. he went this way.
(SCREAMS)
- Salateen. what in thunder? - I'll explain. General.
- One escaped prisoner, sir. - The android?
She's real enough. Androids' legs don't blister.
Sharaz Jek smuggled in copies of this girl and her friend. the Doctor.
- I'm afraid, sir. that he also copied me. - Copied you?
I've been held prisoner for months now, sir.
What you thought was me is an android.
A spy for Sharaz Jek.
You mean I've had an android as my ADC without knowing it?
When he made that copy of me. it was like looking into a mirror.
He's incredibly clever.
What a blind fool I've been.
So. you thought to follow me.
I expected you would. and now you have learned the price of your curiosity.
ls that thing your pet?
The magma creatures never ascend above Blue Level.
They have no taste for my androids. only flesh and blood.
You tricked us into that.
You were led by your own cupidity.
Greed. heedless of caution. lures many a man to his death.
Whoever you are. come out.
Doctor!
I hadn't expected to see you again so soon.
Life often springs these little surprises.
The android has a cortex with over five million responses programmed in.
Jek boasts about it as his finest creation.
So Jek knows evey move we've made for months now.
Within seconds. The android is linked to his main computer.
We'll soon stop that.
- Major Salateen! - There is a better way.
- What? - I thought of it on the way back.
(ON SPEAKER) Salateen here, sir.
lt's all right. Major. I've found what I wanted.
Vey good, sir.
You said there's a better way?
- Disinformation. - Using the android?
So long as Jek doesn't know. he'll believe eveything the android relays back to him.
You're wily. Salateen. I've always said so. How will that help?
Make him think we're moving one way. but in fact we move on his base.
I know the way to it.
I like that idea. You and the girl have to stay out of sight. Use my quarters.
How is it you were able to walk past my androids?
I don't know. maybe they iust liked my face.
Well?
- Take your Spectrox. - The suppliers won't like this. Jek.
Tell them if they supply gas weapons as agreed. and deliver them safely.
I will pay eight kilos for the next shipment.
When I ask a question. I do not expect flippancy.
Where's the girl? Where's Peri?
I wish I knew.
Take him.
Tear his arms out slowly.
You know the power an android can exert. Doctor.
After your arms. they will remove your legs.
- Now. where is the girl? - I don't know.
We had a shoot-out with an android and then she disappeared.
You can't protect her.
I shall tear the truth out of you.
- I think she's with Salateen. - Salateen?
ln that case. they've probably reached the army camp.
Release him.
lf they have. it's round two to the army.
You know nothing!
I must get the girl back.
- What about him? - He's no use to me now.
I'd like to take him back to Major. The boss might want to question him.
We think he's a spy. Why else would he be snooping around?
He told me... No matter. take him. I must find the girl.
When we get back to Major. you'll wish the androids had finished the job.
You'll be worked over by experts there.
- What...? - Ssh!
No further orders. Major.
I said. there are no further orders, Major.
Vey good, sir.
Was there anything else?
The magma pressure is still increasing, sir.
lt's been high before and nothing happened.
I'm sure if there's a mud-burst the engineers will give us ample warning.
There'll be time to get the barriers down. but a burst could wipe out our lead patrols.
That's a calculated risk.
We can't suspend operations because next month there might be a mud-burst.
No, sir.
Vey well. Cary on, Major.
- That android suspects something. - They can detect body heat through a wall.
I'll have to get it off the base.
How are you?
Pretty awful not that you care.
I don't think she's any use to us.
I'll give her another iniection in an hour. She'll make it.
You're all heart. you two.
lf you weren't dying, I'd have you shot.
Treating with the enemy is punishable by death.
Treating with the enemy?
Sharaz Jek saved you and the Doctor from execution.
He didn't do that out of kindness.
The Doctor and I were just as much prisoners as he was.
If not for the Doctor. we'd still be there.
That is actually true, sir.
That's academic. I iust want her fit enough to guide the first assault.
Some hope. the way I feel.
Come on. keep moving. you.
- What's that? - My ship. right on time. Hury up!
My legs are going numb. That must be stage three.
Stage three of what?
I believe it's called Spectrox Toxaemia.
(STOTZ LAUGHS)
You been messing around with raw Spectrox?
Yes.
Come on!
- Leave me to die. - You'll last long enough for questioning.
Take his arm. We'll be at the ship in three minutes.
How does it work?
It emits a low frequency signal that the androids recognise as friendly.
Seems simple enough. If our artificers could knock up a couple of hundred...
That's what I thought, sir.
We'll attend to it when I get that android off the base.
- How will you do that? - Send it on a fool's errand.
Anything you tell the android will be known to Jek in seconds.
It will have to sound convincing or he'll get suspicious.
I realise that.
You could reinforce it by putting a call through to Trau Morgus.
- Morgus? - Tell Morgus you've found Jek's base.
- Give him bogus co-ordinates. - Yes. circle round and catch him napping.
- Vey good. Salateen. - Jek will believe anything he hears discussed.
He has a tap on the inter-planetay vid.
He can pick up all the transmissions to Major.
How long has he been intercepting our transmissions?
I think the android put the tap on.
No wonder this campaign has got nowhere.
Jek has had advanced warning of evey operation we've planned.
You'll catch him cold this time. though.
I think so. Salateen.
Before he's executed. I'll see that evil renegade dragged in chains through evey city on Major.
- Height? - 120 metres.
- Lock on course. - Course set. Lock on.
- OK. Close the jumps. - Closing jumps.
Androzani Major. here we come.
You lads go and get some rest.
Well reckon we deserve that.
I'll iust tell the boss we're on our way.
You afraid of intruders?
When I talk to the boss. it's got to be just the two of us.
That's the way he likes it.
Something wrong with his face or mine?
You're late. Stotz.
We ran into some trouble, sir. The army intercepted the consignment.
I know that. but the weapons were untraceable.
I made doubly sure. Anyway, we attacked them and wiped them out.
- Then we had trouble with Sharaz Jek. - He refused payment?
- Two kilos instead of five. - It should have been four. at least.
I forced him to agree more for the next delivey, sir.
He's desperate for the gas weapons so I said eight kilos or no deal.
- Eight? Did he agree? - Of course.
He could see I meant business. And another thing...
I think I've got a fix on where that Spectrox is stored.
Ah. that information could be vey valu...
Who is that?
Government snoop, sir.
Take off the blindfold.
Ah. I thought I recognised the voice.
Something is happening I don't quite understand.
- He calls himself the Doctor, sir. - I know that. Stotz. Be quiet.
I need time to think.
The execution was a hoax.
The General is obtuse. but a loyal Government servant.
He would not deceive me. unless...
Unless his orders came from a higher authority.
Who's your employer. Doctor?
I'm not acting for anyone. I was iust passing and happened to get mixed up in your pathetic war.
I'm the richest man in the five planets. Tell the truth and I will reward you well.
I am telling the truth. I keep telling the truth. Why does no one believe me?
A Government snoop, sir. Stick some electrodes in him and he'll talk.
If he was from the Government. I'd know. My people on the Praesidium would tell me.
No. somebody in a vey high position told Chellak to fake the execution.
How do you know it was faked? Maybe they were just bad shots.
It could only have been the President. Something must have aroused his suspicion.
Stotz. I want you to lock your ship in geo-stationay orbit.
I don't want you back until I've considered the implications of this.
Geo-stationay orbit!
If it wasn't for you. we'd be well on our way home.
I should've wiped you out the minute I first saw you.
Ah. Salateen. I have a treat for you.
It's some time since you've been out on field operations. isn't it?
Yes, sir.
I know how bored an officer of your temperament gets with HQ duties.
As you know. we've had a satellite monitoring radio signals here for some time.
We've now located a transmitter - must belong to the rebels - just here.
Make a note of the co-ordinates.
That's several miles, sir. and bad narrows all the way.
Probably why Jek chose it. Anyway. I'm sure it's his main base.
Take a small team. good men. do a quiet recce.
As soon as I receive confirmation. I'll follow up in force. All right?
Of course, sir.
Keep the men moving. Sergeant. I'll catch you up.
Chellak is sending you north. He is tying to deceive me as to his intentions.
Yes. Master.
- Where's the girl? - Chellak has her in his quarters.
And Major Salateen.
But with you out of the camp. Salateen will be free to move about.
Excellent. the girl will be alone.
Yes. General what is it?
Good news. Trau Morgus - our radio satellite has located Sharaz Jek's base.
- Are you certain? - I'm mobilising to attack now.
In approximately six hours. we'll be in position for a full-scale assault.
If you know where Jek's base is. why wait six hours?
There are difficult narrows. It will take time to assemble our men.
- Have you informed the President? - Not yet.
His Excellency is at a meeting of the Praesidium.
Yes. I am seeing him after the meeting. I will tell him the good news.
- Thank you for reporting. General. - Thank you, sir.
- Aah! - You must come with me.
Auto hold. off.
That's it.
Now. vertical descent pattern.
An attempt to assassinate me? Who told you this. Morgus?
A man in my position has sources all over the world.
It is only a whisper. but I think it wise to act with caution.
Yes indeed. You have no idea who the miscreants are?
Not at the moment. Excellency. but I'm hoping to have more information soon.
I must strengthen my bodyguard.
Take precautions. Vay your routine. stop announcing forthcoming engagements.
It might be well for you to cancel all public appearances.
Yes. it might seem prudent in the circumstances.
I'll have a floater brought to the side entrance. You may leave the building by my private lift.
Thank you. Morgus.
I cannot say how much I appreciate this.
Your Excellency's safety is my sole concern.
Aaaaaahhhh!
- Sir? - Krau Timmins. an appalling thing has happened.
- His Excellency... - Not the President?
It was over in a second. I had no time to stop him.
- This is a tragic loss to the world. - It's dreadful sir.
- That it should happen in this building... - Yes. I am deeply distressed.
Naturally. you must be, sir.
- Still it could have been worse. - In what way?
It could have been me.
You'd better tell the members of the Praesidium the sad news.
Yes, sir.
In the absence of the President. I must go to Androzani Major on a peace mission.
A peace mission, sir?
As Chairman of the conglomerate. I will negotiate with Jek to end this carnage.
The world will be in your debt. Krau Morgus.
Yes. quite so.
- Have my private iet ready in ten minutes. - Yes, sir.
And have the lift maintenance engineers shot.
Good. Return to your positions.
Uuhh...
Drink this. you'll feel better.
- Back again? - I'm sory it was necessay to drug you.
The after-effects will soon pass.
H...have you seen the Doctor?
The Doctor?
Yes. he's gone to Androzani Major.
What? I don't believe you.
You'll soon forget him. Peri.
But he wouldn't leave me here. he wouldn't.
He had no choice. Some people I do business with took him.
- Why? - They believed he was a Government spy.
That's ridiculous!
These petty criminals are invariably paranoid.
their twisted little minds infested with distrust and suspicion.
You didn't have to let them take him. You could have stopped them.
To think that I. Sharaz Jek. who once mixed with the highest in the land.
am now dependent on the vey dregs of society.
the base. perverted scum who contaminate eveything they touch.
It is Morgus who brought me to this. Morgus destroyed my life.
Do you think I'm mad?
No.
I am mad.
Do I frighten you?
No.
You're so important to me.
I've lived so long in these caves.
alone. like an animal.
Now. I can feast my eyes on your delicacy.
I can forget the pain and blackness in my mind.
It's all in the past.
We can think of the future.
What future?
- She's gone! - She's stronger than I thought.
Well she can't get far. can she?
We'll pick her up again unless she dies first.
You know the army are planning to attack?
I know.
But your androids won't fire back because the soldiers will be wearing belt-plates.
The belt-plates emit a signal of 80 beta-cycles.
I have changed the recognition code to 50 beta-cycles.
General Chellak. my dear. is in for a shock.
(STOTZ) Doctor, unlock this door!
What are you doing in there? Are you going to open this door or not?
Ah. Stotzy. Have you had a good rest?
Damn you. Doctor! Open this door.
Sory. seems to be locked.
Krelper. get the cutting gear.
Listen. Doctor. be reasonable. This won't do you any good.
Stotzy. we'll be touching down in two minutes. or more likely crashing down.
I'm a bit out of practice with manual landings. If I were you. I'd hang onto something firm.
I'll murder you when I get in. Doctor.
That'll do.
Aagh!
All right, snoop. Hands in the air and over here.
- Why? - I'll kill you if you don't.
Not a vey persuasive argument as I'm going to die soon. anyway. Unless...
I'll give you to a count of three. One...
Unless I find the antidote. I owe it to my friend to ty because I got her into this.
So I'm not going to let you stop me now.