The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 20, Episode 11 - How the Test Was Won - full transcript
Bart and his fellow underachievers are taken on a "field trip" to Capital City so that they can miss the standardized test, and Homer makes sure that nothing bad happens until their insurance goes back into effect.
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
(CROW CAWlNG)
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)
(BARNEY BELCHES)
(HORN BELLOWlNG)
(LENNY SHRlEKS)
(PLAYlNG DlFFERENT TUNE)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(HONKlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
D'oh!
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
Ohhh!
(ALL SCREAM)
(ALL SlGH lN RELlEF)
-Three, two, one... Happy New Year!
-Of school!
-What are you doing?
-It's the first day of school!
(HOMER LAUGHlNG)
-You're the government's problem now!
-BOTH: Yeah!
Free at last, free at last!
I can't believe we have to start
another year of school.
I never learned anything
at that suck shack.
-Who taught you that language?
-A kid at school.
So you did learn something.
Homie, the insurance bill is due today.
Can you make sure to mail it?
Absolutely.
Insurance is the greatest deal ever.
If I get hurt, I get paid.
And, man, do I get hurt!
(SCREAMlNG)
Easy.
(MUFFLED SCREAMlNG)
Oh!
What is it?
Not again!
ALL: D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
(LAUGHlNG)
What a week.
Welcome to another school year.
One important note. The flower-based
names of the reading groups
are now barnyard-based.
Mr. Becker has protested the move.
So his group will remain the Daffodils.
Y eah! Where are my Dils at?
ALL: (CHANTlNG) Go, Dils.
Go, Dils. Go, Dils.
I never tire of that.
One other announcement.
At the end of the month,
we'll be participating
-in the Vice President's Assessment Test.
-He stinks!
-We're assessing you, not him.
-Withdrawn.
The VPAT is part of the federal
government's No Child Left Alone Act.
It will be a rewarding day
of pencil sharpening
and eyes on your own paper keeping.
Cut the horse bull, Seymour.
Your scores on this test
will determine how much money
this suck shack gets for years to come.
So we will spend every moment
of the next two weeks
drilling the questions and answers
into your soft little skulls.
BOYS: (SlNGlNG) Shy is to gregarious
GlRLS: As peaceful is to bellicose
Okay, children.
The answers to the standardized test
fall into 12 basic patterns.
Repeat after me:
Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
-Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
-ALL: Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
Number two: Dacacca, adada, badacad.
-Dacacca, adada, badacad.
-Dacacca, adada, badacad.
Biggest city in Montana!
-Helena?
-Wrong!
-912 divided by six.
-You can't teach this way!
Yes, I can! Studies show it works.
-Where were these studies conducted?
-Ball State!
So when you take your practice test,
take your number two pencil and...
What kind of pencil do we take again?
Number two. Take a number two.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Looks like you took a big number two.
Yes, quite so. As you can see,
I'm holding a big number two in my hands.
Enjoying the weight and feel of it.
(MURMURS lN DlSGUST)
(LlSA HUMMlNG)
(LlSA WHOOPS)
Test day at last!
Now I can show off at the federal level!
Hey, Bart, on the practice test yesterday,
what did you pick as the best title
for the paragraph about Manifest Destiny?
Slurp my snot.
(GASPS)
I wrote "Slurp my snot" in the ovals
on the answer sheet. True story.
Dad! Bart's throwing away his future!
Oh, no! Now who will sell oranges
on the off ramp?
(HOMER LAUGHlNG)
(BART LAUGHlNG)
(SlGHS) Great jokes make me hungry.
I wonder what's in the pantry?
(HOMER MUNCHlNG)
HOMER: Wait a minute.
Mmm-hmm.
Wait a minute!
(HOMER HUMMlNG)
Bart, we need to talk to you about
your practice test.
(GULPS)
I warned you.
You got a perfect score.
(SEYMOUR CHUCKLES)
(BOTH GASP)
Wonderful job, son. Just stellar.
-How did I do?
-96.
-What did I get wrong?
-Several answers.
Several? That's more than a few
and almost a bunch!
Bart, because of your superior intellect...
No, but wait! I aced the math part, right?
Because l...
Run along now.
(GRUMBLlNG)
Bart, you and the other
perfect-scoring superstars
are exempt from taking
the actual test today.
-No test?
-Don't be too disappointed.
We are throwing you
a pizza party at a bowling alley.
-Well, it's about time.
-Come. Your helicopter awaits.
(BAND PLAYlNG GONNA FL Y NOW)
Check it out! Bart's a superstar, too!
-Bart's here!
-Awesome!
Wait a minute. This ain't no genius copter.
This is Con Air!
(SEYMOUR LAUGHS)
Take it away, Willie!
(WlLLlE LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
WlLLlE: Enjoy your flight!
Brilliant plan to remove
all the underperformers for test day, sir.
Yes. All of them.
Why, Seymour,
it seems I left my sunglasses on the bus.
-Well, I'd best retrieve them.
-Yes, yes, you'd best.
-Sir?
-So long, superstars.
I can't believe it.
Superintendent Chalmers betrayed me
after all the wrapping paper
I bought from his daughter.
-Pizza party! Pizza party!
-Helicopter! Helicopter!
-Stop it! All of you!
-What's the matter, superstar?
Feeling sorry for the normals?
Don't you get it? There is no pizza party!
This isn't a helicopter!
-No pizza party?
-Not a helicopter? Huh?
(OTTO HUMMlNG SUPERMAN THEME)
Let me explain this to you in terms
even the simplest will understand.
We're hiding you in Capital City
for the day so your numbskullery
won't drag down the test scores
of the children who are our future.
-Told you.
-Will there be other numbskulls there?
-Sort of a numbskull Olympics as it were?
-Let's all act stupid!
(ALL BABBLlNG)
Guys, guys! Save it for the competition!
Mmm.
-lD, please?
-Must be in the glove box.
(HOMER CHUCKLES)
Huh?
This was due two weeks ago.
I'm not insured!
(GASPS) For the first time in my life, I'm
financially responsible for my own actions!
-Uninsured! Uninsured!
-MAN: ldiot!
I'm not in good hands! I'm in no hands!
Like a bad neighbor, no one is there!
(CRYlNG)
"Dear stupid insurance company,
"l meant to mail this on time.
"What do you mean, 'too bad'?
"Screw you! Heh heh."
(HUMMlNG)
(GASPS)
(SHRlEKS)
I won't be insured until 3:00!
Okay, until then,
I have to avoid any serious injuries
or accidents on my property, or I'm ruined!
D'oh!
No, you don't!
(EXCLAlMS WlTH SATlSFACTlON)
Now I know some of you
may suffer from test anxiety.
Here's a helpful hint.
Imagine each question is a baby chick.
If you answer wrong, the chick dies.
(ALL CRYlNG)
Shut up. They would've died anyway.
Now the test will begin
in five, four, three...
Oh, my God.
We should've begun four minutes ago.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
LlSA: You can do it, Lisa. There's nothing
in the room but you and the test.
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
(SCRlBBLlNG)
(CRACKLlNG)
(GRATlNG)
(THUMPlNG)
(RATTLlNG)
Focus.
Pride is to downfall
as overconfidence is to...
What? They're all equally valid.
But that can't be.
In life, everything only has one answer!
(MlLHOUSE HUMMlNG)
Piece of cake, huh?
Oh!
I'm writing on my shirt!
Hey, Seymour. I just realized something.
You're stuck babysitting us losers,
which makes you the real loser.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
For your information, I am not a loser.
I am a successful principal
who paints houses in the summertime.
You painted our garage,
and it was peeling by October.
Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.
ALL: (CHANTlNG) Loser, loser.
Excuse me, Mommy. I have to go potty.
(SlGHS) Otto, can you pull over? Pull over!
Sorry. I was mesmerized
by the little boy's dance.
(RALPH WHlMPERlNG)
(SlNGlNG) Yo, I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
-Ralph, are you almost finished?
-I finished before we came in.
(SlGHS ANGRlLY)
All right.
Now we can get back on the bus and on...
(SEYMOUR SCREAMS)
(THlEF LAUGHlNG)
All aboard?
Hey, Skinner.
Want to see our impression of you?
Well, I guess I could use
an affectionate homage.
(ALL BABBLlNG)
All right, stay calm, boys. Oh, God!
We're at the corner of Cesar Chavez Way
and Martin Luther King Blvd.!
BART: Ay, caramba!
Homie, what are you
doing home so early?
Marge, I won't bore you with the truth.
All I can say is that until 3:00 p.m.
we must avoid all accidents and injuries
or we're all going to the poorhouse.
You mean "back to the poorhouse."
Fine. "Back."
And we can't let anyone else
get hurt on our property.
I don't want anyone to ever get hurt.
Me, too, baby. But we gotta get real.
We can discuss it later.
Right now, while you're here,
you can help host my book club.
Book club? That's the most stupid,
boring thing ever! Thank you!
(HOMER HUMMlNG CHEERFULLY)
Now I would never say a bad word
about Cletus and Brandine,
but I hear he's been feeding slop
to another woman's pig.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(HOMER GASPS)
(SHRlEKS)
(SCREAMS)
I've been cleaved!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
We're totally liable!
(BOTH MOANlNG)
Yeah.
I mean, no!
LlSA: Maybe I should just move on
to question two.
Question two, using what you learned
in question one...
(LlSA SCREAMlNG)
Lisa, like Captain Kirk,
I'm not supposed to interfere.
But like T.J. Hooker,
I say what is on my mind.
If you don't know the answer, just guess.
(WHlSPERlNG) This test penalizes guessing.
It does? All right, nobody guess!
Just be right! Get down on your knees,
pray to your God, and ask him...
No, demand he tell you the answer!
And if he won't, he is no God of yours!
(ALL GASPlNG)
What's your plan now, skin rash?
My name isn't skin rash.
It's Principal Skinner.
-And you will address me as such.
-Sure thing, Such.
I'll deal with your insubordinate
wordplay later.
My first duty is to get you boys to safety.
And that's... Where's Ralph?
(FOGHORN BLOWlNG)
I'm playing with Elmo!
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
Okay. I just have to keep these tipsy
witches safe for 10 more seconds!
Van Johnson was never half the man
Van Heflin was.
(AGNES GRUNTlNG)
Knife!
(GASPS)
(CRYlNG OUT lN SLOW MOTlON)
(HOMER GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS)
(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(THUDS)
MR. BURNS: Apaches!
Mr. Burns!
Why do terrible things always happen
to wonderful people at 3:01 p.m.?
Which, for the record, is the correct time.
(MUFFLED) So, plans for the weekend?
Marge, are you mad
I forgot to send in the payment?
No, sweetie. At this point in a marriage,
a wife should know what her husband
can do and what he can't.
Who was I to think you could
mail an envelope?
Baby, I hope you got snuggle insurance
because I'm about to file a claim!
(FOGHORN BLOWlNG)
(RAT SQUEAKlNG)
Bart, do you have your slingshot?
-No, sir.
-I see it in your back pocket!
-Just don't stretch it out.
-I was once a boy, and like all boys...
You like all boys?
Ha-ha!
Shut up!
A child is in danger under my aegis.
Ha-ha?
-Run, Ralph! Run!
-Okay!
Time to do what I've never done
as principal. Something!
(PANTlNG)
-Skinner's spazzing out!
-I'm not spazzing out.
I'm using the principle of conservation
of angular momentum
to turn the container!
BOYS: Oh!
That is so cool. That's the kind of stuff
they should teach in school.
SEYMOUR: We do teach it in school!
You're too busy eating sugar snacks
and horsing around!
-He's right. Learning can teach you things.
-Education rules!
(CHlLDREN CHEERlNG)
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
(CHEERlNG)
"But I reckon I got to light out
for the Territory ahead of the rest,
"because Aunt Sally she's going
to adopt me and sivilize me,
"and I can't stand it. I been there before."
That book was awesome!
ALL: Uh-huh.
Next stop, Springfield Elementary!
Skinner! Otto! Bullies!
The "cowabunga" kid!
And the wee nitwit!
It's so good to see you all!
All done.
And I've got two minutes
to take care of these stray marks.
-Well, that's it.
-Uh-huh.
The test is almost over.
And I haven't done a thing.
-I've blown my whole future.
-Right.
(SlGHS) Well, maybe it'll be more
fun to be a regular, average,
stay-at-home...
This test is a joke!
Huh?
Skinner?
Today I received an education
in how children really learn.
By seeing their principal run around
on top of a shipping container.
So children, put down your answer sheet
and drop that number two.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Yes, I know what that means.
I've learned so much today.
This is my school,
and I'm throwing out the test!
(ALL CHEERlNG)
Hooray! I'm a brainy outcast again!
And finally, effective immediately,
I'm overturning this school's ban
on dancing!
(FOOTLOOSEPLAYlNG)
Kick offyour Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off ofmy knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody, cut footloose
Footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off of my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody, cut footloose
ENGLlSH - US - SDH
(CROW CAWlNG)
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)
(BARNEY BELCHES)
(HORN BELLOWlNG)
(LENNY SHRlEKS)
(PLAYlNG DlFFERENT TUNE)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(HONKlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
D'oh!
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
Ohhh!
(ALL SCREAM)
(ALL SlGH lN RELlEF)
-Three, two, one... Happy New Year!
-Of school!
-What are you doing?
-It's the first day of school!
(HOMER LAUGHlNG)
-You're the government's problem now!
-BOTH: Yeah!
Free at last, free at last!
I can't believe we have to start
another year of school.
I never learned anything
at that suck shack.
-Who taught you that language?
-A kid at school.
So you did learn something.
Homie, the insurance bill is due today.
Can you make sure to mail it?
Absolutely.
Insurance is the greatest deal ever.
If I get hurt, I get paid.
And, man, do I get hurt!
(SCREAMlNG)
Easy.
(MUFFLED SCREAMlNG)
Oh!
What is it?
Not again!
ALL: D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
(LAUGHlNG)
What a week.
Welcome to another school year.
One important note. The flower-based
names of the reading groups
are now barnyard-based.
Mr. Becker has protested the move.
So his group will remain the Daffodils.
Y eah! Where are my Dils at?
ALL: (CHANTlNG) Go, Dils.
Go, Dils. Go, Dils.
I never tire of that.
One other announcement.
At the end of the month,
we'll be participating
-in the Vice President's Assessment Test.
-He stinks!
-We're assessing you, not him.
-Withdrawn.
The VPAT is part of the federal
government's No Child Left Alone Act.
It will be a rewarding day
of pencil sharpening
and eyes on your own paper keeping.
Cut the horse bull, Seymour.
Your scores on this test
will determine how much money
this suck shack gets for years to come.
So we will spend every moment
of the next two weeks
drilling the questions and answers
into your soft little skulls.
BOYS: (SlNGlNG) Shy is to gregarious
GlRLS: As peaceful is to bellicose
Okay, children.
The answers to the standardized test
fall into 12 basic patterns.
Repeat after me:
Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
-Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
-ALL: Accaca, dabacca, accacaca.
Number two: Dacacca, adada, badacad.
-Dacacca, adada, badacad.
-Dacacca, adada, badacad.
Biggest city in Montana!
-Helena?
-Wrong!
-912 divided by six.
-You can't teach this way!
Yes, I can! Studies show it works.
-Where were these studies conducted?
-Ball State!
So when you take your practice test,
take your number two pencil and...
What kind of pencil do we take again?
Number two. Take a number two.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Looks like you took a big number two.
Yes, quite so. As you can see,
I'm holding a big number two in my hands.
Enjoying the weight and feel of it.
(MURMURS lN DlSGUST)
(LlSA HUMMlNG)
(LlSA WHOOPS)
Test day at last!
Now I can show off at the federal level!
Hey, Bart, on the practice test yesterday,
what did you pick as the best title
for the paragraph about Manifest Destiny?
Slurp my snot.
(GASPS)
I wrote "Slurp my snot" in the ovals
on the answer sheet. True story.
Dad! Bart's throwing away his future!
Oh, no! Now who will sell oranges
on the off ramp?
(HOMER LAUGHlNG)
(BART LAUGHlNG)
(SlGHS) Great jokes make me hungry.
I wonder what's in the pantry?
(HOMER MUNCHlNG)
HOMER: Wait a minute.
Mmm-hmm.
Wait a minute!
(HOMER HUMMlNG)
Bart, we need to talk to you about
your practice test.
(GULPS)
I warned you.
You got a perfect score.
(SEYMOUR CHUCKLES)
(BOTH GASP)
Wonderful job, son. Just stellar.
-How did I do?
-96.
-What did I get wrong?
-Several answers.
Several? That's more than a few
and almost a bunch!
Bart, because of your superior intellect...
No, but wait! I aced the math part, right?
Because l...
Run along now.
(GRUMBLlNG)
Bart, you and the other
perfect-scoring superstars
are exempt from taking
the actual test today.
-No test?
-Don't be too disappointed.
We are throwing you
a pizza party at a bowling alley.
-Well, it's about time.
-Come. Your helicopter awaits.
(BAND PLAYlNG GONNA FL Y NOW)
Check it out! Bart's a superstar, too!
-Bart's here!
-Awesome!
Wait a minute. This ain't no genius copter.
This is Con Air!
(SEYMOUR LAUGHS)
Take it away, Willie!
(WlLLlE LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
WlLLlE: Enjoy your flight!
Brilliant plan to remove
all the underperformers for test day, sir.
Yes. All of them.
Why, Seymour,
it seems I left my sunglasses on the bus.
-Well, I'd best retrieve them.
-Yes, yes, you'd best.
-Sir?
-So long, superstars.
I can't believe it.
Superintendent Chalmers betrayed me
after all the wrapping paper
I bought from his daughter.
-Pizza party! Pizza party!
-Helicopter! Helicopter!
-Stop it! All of you!
-What's the matter, superstar?
Feeling sorry for the normals?
Don't you get it? There is no pizza party!
This isn't a helicopter!
-No pizza party?
-Not a helicopter? Huh?
(OTTO HUMMlNG SUPERMAN THEME)
Let me explain this to you in terms
even the simplest will understand.
We're hiding you in Capital City
for the day so your numbskullery
won't drag down the test scores
of the children who are our future.
-Told you.
-Will there be other numbskulls there?
-Sort of a numbskull Olympics as it were?
-Let's all act stupid!
(ALL BABBLlNG)
Guys, guys! Save it for the competition!
Mmm.
-lD, please?
-Must be in the glove box.
(HOMER CHUCKLES)
Huh?
This was due two weeks ago.
I'm not insured!
(GASPS) For the first time in my life, I'm
financially responsible for my own actions!
-Uninsured! Uninsured!
-MAN: ldiot!
I'm not in good hands! I'm in no hands!
Like a bad neighbor, no one is there!
(CRYlNG)
"Dear stupid insurance company,
"l meant to mail this on time.
"What do you mean, 'too bad'?
"Screw you! Heh heh."
(HUMMlNG)
(GASPS)
(SHRlEKS)
I won't be insured until 3:00!
Okay, until then,
I have to avoid any serious injuries
or accidents on my property, or I'm ruined!
D'oh!
No, you don't!
(EXCLAlMS WlTH SATlSFACTlON)
Now I know some of you
may suffer from test anxiety.
Here's a helpful hint.
Imagine each question is a baby chick.
If you answer wrong, the chick dies.
(ALL CRYlNG)
Shut up. They would've died anyway.
Now the test will begin
in five, four, three...
Oh, my God.
We should've begun four minutes ago.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
LlSA: You can do it, Lisa. There's nothing
in the room but you and the test.
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
(SCRlBBLlNG)
(CRACKLlNG)
(GRATlNG)
(THUMPlNG)
(RATTLlNG)
Focus.
Pride is to downfall
as overconfidence is to...
What? They're all equally valid.
But that can't be.
In life, everything only has one answer!
(MlLHOUSE HUMMlNG)
Piece of cake, huh?
Oh!
I'm writing on my shirt!
Hey, Seymour. I just realized something.
You're stuck babysitting us losers,
which makes you the real loser.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
For your information, I am not a loser.
I am a successful principal
who paints houses in the summertime.
You painted our garage,
and it was peeling by October.
Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.
ALL: (CHANTlNG) Loser, loser.
Excuse me, Mommy. I have to go potty.
(SlGHS) Otto, can you pull over? Pull over!
Sorry. I was mesmerized
by the little boy's dance.
(RALPH WHlMPERlNG)
(SlNGlNG) Yo, I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
-Ralph, are you almost finished?
-I finished before we came in.
(SlGHS ANGRlLY)
All right.
Now we can get back on the bus and on...
(SEYMOUR SCREAMS)
(THlEF LAUGHlNG)
All aboard?
Hey, Skinner.
Want to see our impression of you?
Well, I guess I could use
an affectionate homage.
(ALL BABBLlNG)
All right, stay calm, boys. Oh, God!
We're at the corner of Cesar Chavez Way
and Martin Luther King Blvd.!
BART: Ay, caramba!
Homie, what are you
doing home so early?
Marge, I won't bore you with the truth.
All I can say is that until 3:00 p.m.
we must avoid all accidents and injuries
or we're all going to the poorhouse.
You mean "back to the poorhouse."
Fine. "Back."
And we can't let anyone else
get hurt on our property.
I don't want anyone to ever get hurt.
Me, too, baby. But we gotta get real.
We can discuss it later.
Right now, while you're here,
you can help host my book club.
Book club? That's the most stupid,
boring thing ever! Thank you!
(HOMER HUMMlNG CHEERFULLY)
Now I would never say a bad word
about Cletus and Brandine,
but I hear he's been feeding slop
to another woman's pig.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(HOMER GASPS)
(SHRlEKS)
(SCREAMS)
I've been cleaved!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
We're totally liable!
(BOTH MOANlNG)
Yeah.
I mean, no!
LlSA: Maybe I should just move on
to question two.
Question two, using what you learned
in question one...
(LlSA SCREAMlNG)
Lisa, like Captain Kirk,
I'm not supposed to interfere.
But like T.J. Hooker,
I say what is on my mind.
If you don't know the answer, just guess.
(WHlSPERlNG) This test penalizes guessing.
It does? All right, nobody guess!
Just be right! Get down on your knees,
pray to your God, and ask him...
No, demand he tell you the answer!
And if he won't, he is no God of yours!
(ALL GASPlNG)
What's your plan now, skin rash?
My name isn't skin rash.
It's Principal Skinner.
-And you will address me as such.
-Sure thing, Such.
I'll deal with your insubordinate
wordplay later.
My first duty is to get you boys to safety.
And that's... Where's Ralph?
(FOGHORN BLOWlNG)
I'm playing with Elmo!
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
Okay. I just have to keep these tipsy
witches safe for 10 more seconds!
Van Johnson was never half the man
Van Heflin was.
(AGNES GRUNTlNG)
Knife!
(GASPS)
(CRYlNG OUT lN SLOW MOTlON)
(HOMER GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS)
(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(THUDS)
MR. BURNS: Apaches!
Mr. Burns!
Why do terrible things always happen
to wonderful people at 3:01 p.m.?
Which, for the record, is the correct time.
(MUFFLED) So, plans for the weekend?
Marge, are you mad
I forgot to send in the payment?
No, sweetie. At this point in a marriage,
a wife should know what her husband
can do and what he can't.
Who was I to think you could
mail an envelope?
Baby, I hope you got snuggle insurance
because I'm about to file a claim!
(FOGHORN BLOWlNG)
(RAT SQUEAKlNG)
Bart, do you have your slingshot?
-No, sir.
-I see it in your back pocket!
-Just don't stretch it out.
-I was once a boy, and like all boys...
You like all boys?
Ha-ha!
Shut up!
A child is in danger under my aegis.
Ha-ha?
-Run, Ralph! Run!
-Okay!
Time to do what I've never done
as principal. Something!
(PANTlNG)
-Skinner's spazzing out!
-I'm not spazzing out.
I'm using the principle of conservation
of angular momentum
to turn the container!
BOYS: Oh!
That is so cool. That's the kind of stuff
they should teach in school.
SEYMOUR: We do teach it in school!
You're too busy eating sugar snacks
and horsing around!
-He's right. Learning can teach you things.
-Education rules!
(CHlLDREN CHEERlNG)
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
(CHEERlNG)
"But I reckon I got to light out
for the Territory ahead of the rest,
"because Aunt Sally she's going
to adopt me and sivilize me,
"and I can't stand it. I been there before."
That book was awesome!
ALL: Uh-huh.
Next stop, Springfield Elementary!
Skinner! Otto! Bullies!
The "cowabunga" kid!
And the wee nitwit!
It's so good to see you all!
All done.
And I've got two minutes
to take care of these stray marks.
-Well, that's it.
-Uh-huh.
The test is almost over.
And I haven't done a thing.
-I've blown my whole future.
-Right.
(SlGHS) Well, maybe it'll be more
fun to be a regular, average,
stay-at-home...
This test is a joke!
Huh?
Skinner?
Today I received an education
in how children really learn.
By seeing their principal run around
on top of a shipping container.
So children, put down your answer sheet
and drop that number two.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Yes, I know what that means.
I've learned so much today.
This is my school,
and I'm throwing out the test!
(ALL CHEERlNG)
Hooray! I'm a brainy outcast again!
And finally, effective immediately,
I'm overturning this school's ban
on dancing!
(FOOTLOOSEPLAYlNG)
Kick offyour Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off ofmy knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody, cut footloose
Footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off of my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody, cut footloose
ENGLlSH - US - SDH