The Saint (1962–1969): Season 3, Episode 20 - The Frightened Inn-Keeper - full transcript

Six guest rooms, only three guests.

One weary traveler, one British inn.

And the law of the land established for centuries

says that I cannot be refused refreshment

or accommodation.

It's a fine old tradition, so I'm helping to keep it up.

Can I help you?

Yes, Miss Julia Jeffroll?

That's right, who are you?

You are expecting me, aren't you?

You must Simon Templar.



That's my name while I'm here.

Mr. Tombs, a bit gruesome, isn't it?

So was your letter.

Yes, well now that you're here,

I'm a bit embarrassed about it.

Do you care to amend it?

No, everything I said is true.

It's just that I didn't want you to think of me

as a hysterical female.

Now that I am here, I don't think you are.

I didn't even expect you to reply, much less arrive.

Well, I mean, mysterious noises at night

in an old inn on the Cornish coast.

That is about all you did say.



Care to give me some more details?

Not now.

Mr. Tombs, this is my father.

Mr. Jeffroll.

Mr. Tombs is staying here for a few days.

That's impossible.

I've already signed in.

I told you not to accept any more guests.

Now, Mr. Jeffroll, that's no way to talk.

I'll talk any way I like, she's my daughter.

This is also my inn and I say you can't have a room.

But the law says I can.

Never mind the law, mister--

Tombs, T-O-M-B-S.

Now, let's be sensible about this, shall we?

Why do you want to stay here?

You won't like it here, you belong in a smart hotel.

Sometimes, Mr. Jeffroll,

I like to get back to nature in the raw.

I'll get my bag.

Oh, by the way, where can I park my car?

You'll have to leave it in the open.

There's no car park under cover here.

Couldn't you move that old truck that's outside?

It won't move, Mr. Tombs.

We took it in settlement of a debt.

It's completely unserviceable, it was dead on arrival.

Unfortunate choice of words.

I told you not to let any more rooms, Julia.

Give me a drink.

Which is my room?

Oh, I'll show it to you.

Thank you.

Please forgive my father, he's not himself.

Will the real Mr. Jeffroll please stand up?

I don't like this other fellow.

If only those men would leave.

The other guests?

He's frightened of them.

Who are the three musketeers?

Engineers, they're all Royal Engineers.

This is not a place for a reunion, is it?

Especially one that's lasted for six weeks, so far.

Odder, and odder.

Well, Mr. Templar, there's your cast list,

three ghastly guests

and one frightened innkeeper, my father.

Why is he scared of them?

What's he got involved in?

Something which apparently makes other guests unwelcome.

And I can be very unwelcome when I try.

I'll take a look around tonight,

maybe discover what's making my reluctant host so nervous.

Something perhaps in the previous history of the patient?

He's worked overseas most of his life, a few months ago,

he sank all his savings into buying this place.

The dream of every sun-soaked English exile,

to own a rain-soaked English country pub.

I gave up my job to help him.

You're a good girl.

Settling in, Mr. Tombs?

Very comfortably, thanks.

You're wanted in the bar.

Of course.

There isn't any hot water.

Never mind, I personally try to keep out of it.

How about you?

Julia.

Please, go back to your job in London.

I'd rather do my worrying here on the spot.

What do you mean?

What's going on, Father, what have you got involved in?

Nothing, just a matter of appalling misjudgment

in buying this creaking wreck.

You've always been truthful with me.

Thank you, what's that got to do with it?

Be truthful now, please.

I'll try to forget you said that, Julia.

Put it right out of my mind.

I can't clear my mind

of your fears and worries these past few weeks.

You're imagining things.

Why do you want me to go?

This is no place for you.

Or you, you've been a changed man since,

since they arrived, nervous, drinking.

What hold of they got on you?

Why won't you tell me?

Or let me help you?

All right, if you insist, help me, in the bar.

Same again, Julia.

Certainly, captain.

That's right, my bobbie, my special favorite brew,

finest whisky distilled, it's all in the water, you know.

Good evening.

Something wrong, gentlemen?

You're staring at me as I just materialized

from the fine old oak beams.

Oh no, beg pardon.

Staying here, sir?

Oh, whiskey, please.

Overnight visit?

I'm not sure yet, I haven't had time to look around.

Bit dull hereabouts.

Thank you.

Nothing even much in the way of scenery.

Except right in here, hey what?

What brings you here then?

Oh, we haven't been here long.

Only a matter of six weeks, isn't it, Mr. Weems?

Less.

Oh, I thought it was more.

Getting away from it all then?

Something like that.

Exactly my intention.

And if the Weary Traveller's been good enough

for you gentlemen for more than a month,

then it's fine with me, I may stay quite some time.

Excuse me.

Cheers.

Oh, rather.

Portmore, captain.

Tombs, mister.

What do you think you're doing?

Accounts.

I mean, who's the new guest registered,

and why isn't he at home?

Yes, Mr. Tombs, yes, I knew you wouldn't like it.

What's he doing here?

This is an inn.

So far as he's concerned, it's an out.

Now get rid of him.

Don't give me orders.

I'm as aware of the danger of his being here as you are.

Then why the hell did you let him stay?

I didn't, it was Julia.

And she should be here, either, get rid of him.

I wish I could get rid of you.

If I wasn't in such money trouble,

I had never associated with you.

Or Portmore, or that maniac Kane.

I could have made a go of that farm

but could I get a mortgage, told him I was a captain,

didn't mean a thing, all forgotten.

The whole country's riddled with ingratitude

towards ex-servicemen.

Serve me again, old girl.

And mine's a pint.

Hello there, Kane.

Weems.

How was the traffic, old boy?

Need you ask?

Mr. Kane, we...

We have a new guest.

Get your order, guest.

Mr. Tombs.

Nice to know you, Mr. Kane.

Saw your car, thought you were only here for a drink.

Really, why?

Staying long?

As long as I like it.

Gonna be crowded, in fact, it's crowded already.

I wouldn't say that, old man.

You'd never say anything

if your mouth didn't fall open now and again.

Drink up and have another, Kane.

Mr. Kane, mister, mister!

Tom, if you must, but don't you talk to me like

you've still got two milk bottle tops on each shoulder.

I didn't mean anything.

No, to put it another way, you mean nothing.

Kane, Tom, was in the old mob with us, corporal.

Corporal, really.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, how interesting.

Let me take this to your room.

No, leave it be!

All right, Mr. Kane, sorry.

Easy, old boy.

Once and for all, I'm not an old boy!

I didn't go to your snobby kind of school.

Now you look here!

Mr. Kane, I have decided

that it's not very nice to know you.

Oh, you care to go into detail?

If you insist, packet of cigarettes, please.

You remind me of a another corporal,

a little one with a Charlie Chaplin mustache.

I suppose it's because you have an inferiority complex

and rightly so, because you are inferior.

Oh dear, you seem to have spilt your drink.

Have mine, spilt that one, too.

One of your tantrums, Mr. Kane?

Touche.

It is crowded here, Mr. Jeffroll.

I'll have a bottle of whiskey in my room, please.

And you're wrong, Mr. Weems, it isn't dull hereabouts.

That concludes the cabaret for this evening.

Mind if I go to bed?

Get off!

You're not doing your job, landlord.

Make it special, even more special than Mr. Portmore's.

Oh, sorry, Captain Portmore.

24 hours from now, think of it, a fortune.

Yes, that'll help us forget

this unpleasant incident, hey, chaps?

It happened, I'll never forget.

Chaps.

Not a drop is sold 'til it knocks you cold.

What's that?

This termite-ridden pub, heaving as usual.

Sounds like him, moving about.

Collapsing into bed.

I better make sure he's really knocked out.

No need.

For that quantity of that particular tablet.

Dynamite, enough to blow the Weary Traveller

to its eternal rest.

Simon, it's me, Julia, what did you hear?

Yes, now kill that searchlight.

Well, you've got any ideas?

Only one so far, you should be in bed.

That's pretty good going

for a completely unserviceable truck, Julia.

Simon, my father can't be involved with them voluntary.

You've seen for yourself how frightened he is of them.

We don't know what any of them are involved in yet.

Must be something underhand.

Underground.

It's a cellar door, isn't it?

Well, let me come with you.

No, you go to bed, you're not dressed for it, go on.

How much further?

One more session tomorrow, and that's it.

100,000 pounds.

Stop dreaming, keep digging.

I can't help it, 100,000 pounds.

What does that mean to you?

I know what it means to you, 400,000 double whiskeys.

Dig me that tunnel, will you?

Come in.

Room service.

Good morning.

In exchange for information.

They are digging a tunnel.

They're what?

Or to be more precise, they're extending an old one.

What for?

It isn't a Piccadilly line, I can tell you that.

However, there is a railway down there.

A railway!

Mm hm, to dispose of excavated earth

in small beer barrels.

Now, you mentioned something about room service,

you better make sure of it, before your father comes in

brandishing a shotgun and a marriage license.

But why, what's it all in aid off?

100,000 pounds each.

Oh, it can't be that much.

What can't?

Who's found this treasure.

Of course, there are lots of local smuggling legends,

especially concerning this inn.

Well, it's so close to the sea.

That must be it, what a crazy romantic scheme.

Thank heavens it's not illegal to find buried treasure.

It is illegal to keep it, though.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to you

for solving this mystery.

I haven't solved it yet, Julia.

The end of the tunnel, that's the end of the story.

And you and I are going to find it.

But how?

By doing a little sightseeing.

Mr. Yesterman, does my father know you're here?

I am expected, thank you, Miss Jeffroll.

Mr. Tombs, this is my father's solicitor, Mr. Yesterman.

Haven't we met?

Just.

No, I meant somewhere before, Mr. Tombs.

I don't think so, Mr. Yesterman.

You must have driven most of the night from London.

Speaking of driving, we have a lot to do.

Sightseeing, remember?

If you'll excuse us.

Certainly.

He's a wagonload of laughs, your Mr. Yesterman.

What was his latest assignment, selling Dracula's castle?

In a way, he handled the legal position

when my father bought this putrid pub.

Complete with private tunnel, let's see where it leads.

The extension leads off the main tunnel just about here.

That's it, Julia, the end of the line, Laxton Prison.

An escape, well, what do we do now?

You're not going to the police?

No, no I'm going to find out

which one of those adult delinquents in there

can afford to break out.

A couple of feet to dig.

That'll take us to the drainage pipe.

We smash through the pipe, and out he drops.

When?

8:30 tonight.

Do you have the dynamite?

You don't have to check on everything, Mr. Yesterman.

When I disburse fees worth 400,000 pounds,

I check on everything.

Listen, you!

All right, all right, we've got the dynamite.

We lay the charge in the roof along there,

blow it when he's with us,

bring down the roof, and block pursuit.

Is Steve already in the den?

Yes, yes, of course.

Jeffroll?

What do you think we are!

I think you're earning 100,000 pounds each.

And I'm entitled to make sure.

Can your client handle a speedboat?

Get him out, he'll get away.

And talking of money, the old filthy looker,

when do we get paid?

As soon as the escape's affected.

Oh good show, well done.

One point, Mr. Yesterman.

A postponement will be necessary if Mr. Tombs doesn't leave.

I'm relying on Mr. Jeffroll

to see that Templar does leave.

Tombs, his name's Tombs.

No, that man's Simon Templar.

I knew I'd seen him before somewhere.

It's a pity you're leaving this inn,

you could have erected a plaque, the Saint slept here.

The Saint?

It's time he was fitted with a real halo.

Precisely, Simon Templar is not here for the sea air.

He's onto us, he's a real danger, eliminate him.

No!

Yes.

I can leave it to you, can't I?

Who else?

Julia, you go in without me, I want to make a phone call

to a well-informed source in Fleet Street,

a private phone call, where can I do it?

The village store, about four miles on.

All right, you do one thing for me, with you?

What?

Keep out of that cellar.

This catch is loose.

What the hell, it won't be needed after 8:30 tonight.

How's the burn on your leg, Mr. Bellamy?

Oh, the medical care is superb.

They couldn't take better care of me

if I was due to be hanged.

Good, well, let's get down to business then.

Company tax?

Mm.

15,422.

You had a good year.

Ah, the sale of my country estate.

Yes.

Why didn't I stick to legitimate business?

It's no good crying over spilt milk.

One's entitled to a small sob over an entire dairy farm.

Nice price?

177,000 pounds, excluding the racing stables.

There is a get-out clause on page three.

It operates from today.

This point here, the acreage,

typing error, I think.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That should read 830.

Eight, three, oh.

830.

Just so long as we get it right.

830, right.

And once again, there, if you don't mind.

Oh, sign here.

There. Thank you.

Now, my private checkbook, please.

Yes.

Pay

prison

officers

benevolent

fund.

What did you find out?

The gentle art of escapology is being exercised

on behalf of one Alexander Bellamy, in for life.

I know that name.

Wasn't he the head of that bank robbery gang?

The bank robbery gang, nearly killed the guards,

and got away with a million and a half pounds.

I remember, it was never recovered, so he can afford it.

But how'd you know, it's been unofficial?

My well-informed source also informed me

the name of Bellamy's solicitor,

but you don't get a prize if you guess it.

Yesterman.

You've pieced together quite a lot

from one telephone called Fleet Street.

Mm hm, we know who, we know how, don't know when.

Oh, I know that, it's at 8:30 tonight.

8:30, well done.

How do you know?

Why, I sort of heard.

How?

I went to the cellar.

I told you not to.

Even as a child, I was disobedient.

Yes, know what happens to disobedient children,

they get whacked, and that's what I should do to you.

For discovering vital information?

Okay, but from now on, you do as you're told.

Yes, sir.

The first thing you do is leave with me.

We'll clear right out, let them think they have a free hand.

But we'll be back.

No questions, just leave everything to me

and do as you're told.

All right, but I must speak to my father,

make one last attempt to get him to see reason.

Good luck.

I must try.

Father, I'm leaving, now.

So is Mr. Tombs.

Why don't you come with us?

I have to stay on.

I've decided to sell the inn.

No need for that, when you're expecting

such a fantastically profitable customer.

Alexander Bellamy.

Julia, leave, just leave.

Please, Father, pull out of this mad scheme.

It isn't mad, it's a fine piece of engineering,

and the best-paid I've ever undertaken.

Don't you understand, what future is there for us here?

My life savings, every penny,

tied up in this useless property, no Julia, no.

No, this is my only chance to make a real future.

For us, don't try to persuade me otherwise.

I'm not interested.

Please.

I'm only interested now in what you're going to do.

Couldn't ever put you in jail.

Good bye, gentlemen.

Templar's just left!

All in one piece!

We don't go ahead while he's alive.

You're a ruthless little couple, aren't you,

all of a sudden.

Don't worry, he has five minutes to live.

I don't understand.

Concentrate.

Three sticks of dynamite in his car bonnet.

In five minutes from engine start,

the Saint goes marching in.

Stop!

Let us take a penny for your thoughts.

In our family, that will be a bargain.

To buy my father cost 100,000 pounds.

Go on!

Give gas!

You lose him and I'll kill you!

Five minutes, dead.

Get him out.

Come on.

Tried to warn us.

Simon, they'll kill him.

We've got to go to the police now.

No, not just now, you must trust me.

Anything you say.

Precision revolution's complete.

Two commissioned casual neighbors.

Yesterman didn't know what he was getting

when he hired you two, did he?

Come on, stand aside, come on.

That's it.

To the inch, how's that for planning?

And timing.

Orderly, come and have a look at this leg for me,

will you, it's giving me hell.

Shouldn't be, you're almost cured.

Going out tomorrow.

Tonight, with your help, call Walter.

Call him, nicely.

Walter!

'Bye, gentlemen.

8:30.

Hey, hey!

Everything all right?

Okay!

Good evening, Yesterman, my clothes.

Yes, they're right there.

Our money?

100,000 pounds each.

What?

What's this?

Where's our money!

Where's my money?

There's supposed to be a million for me in there!

There was, the suitcase was in the boot of the car!

It's a trick!

Yesterman, are you double-crossing us?

It's a trick, you've got it all for yourself!

Would I be here if I had?

Joke over, old man.

Where is it?

Why earth?

To bury you in it!

Templar.

I don't know how you swung it, but Templar's alive

and you're in with him.

Tell me where he is, I'll take care of him.

And you and I will split the whole million and a half.

I don't know what you're talking about, you madman.

That's no way to talk to your partner.

Now where is he?

Here, Corporal.

My god, he shot him!

What?

Kane, he's killed Jeffroll.

I've had enough, old boy, I'm getting out of here.

A mistake, Corporal.

You can stay here just like this, Mr. Jeffroll,

or wait for the police.

Make a very good impression, you'll see.

Hi, any vacancies?

No luggage?

I have cash, I can pay you.

And talking of cash,

you better do something with this at the bank.

75,000 pounds, for me?

Your share of the reward money.

But that isn't fair, well, you came back

and you got the money out of Yesterman's car.

Yes, but you called the police and right on time.

Fair division of labor.

You saved my father's life.

You saved mine.

Will they be lenient with him?

Oh, I think so, in the circumstances.

Well, I can afford a good lawyer now.

Yes, you can, now come along with me

and we'll talk about it.

Well, where are we going?

Like I said, you're a good girl,

so you can stay up late and have a grown-up dinner.

Your car, I thought it was blown up!

I bought a new one with my share of the reward money.

Bet it goes like a bomb.

Don't say things like that, would you care to try it?

Wouldn't dare, you drive, I feel safe in your hands.