The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991–1996): Season 4, Episode 3 - Blazing Entrails/Lumber Jerks - full transcript
♪ Blazing entrails
blazing entrails ♪
♪ I got me
a belly full of fire ♪
♪ blazing entrails
blazing entrails ♪
♪ entrails are
the only trails I ride ♪
( snoring )
A-duh !
( crashing )
( imitates mechanical motor )
( groaning )
( shattering )
( gulping )
( gargling )
( gulping )
( belching )
( sawing )
Hey, can't you wait 'til
morning to saw your face off,
like everybody else ?
( sizzling )
( sniffing )
That bacon
sure smells great !
( moaning )
Man, I can almost
taste that bacon already !
Yes, sir-ee bob, doesn't
that just look great ?
Breakfast is served.
( screaming )
All right, that's it,
you're gonna see a doctor.
I've, I've--
moo, meow, beep !
Ooh, eee,
b-R-r-r-R...
yep, this is the address.
Dr. Brainchild
"brains fixed cheap."
I'm not okay,
I'm not okay.
Uh, hello, Mrs. Brainchild's
mom, ma'am.
We're here to see
your son, the doctor.
Well, aren't you
boys sweet.
You'll find
junior in the garage,
playing with his toys.
Eep, eep, eep,
eep, eep, eep !
Boinga, boinga, boinga,
la la la la boo boo !
I swear, kids get
weirder-Looking every day.
( ringing doorbell )
I want a banana,
I want A...
diddle, diddle, fiddle,
piddle, poodle, piddle,
boodle, racky sacky,
want some seafood, mama.
Ooya fooya, ooya fooya,
knock knock !
Oh bareeba satta soap.
Oh bareeba snake can see
the rattle of the somba of...
( puttering motor )
...The peanut butter
set the Pasadena
which has
the rose bowl.
Wow, look at that head.
Hmm, anthropomorphoids.
Interesting...
( yelps )
Hey, doc, can you have a look
at my idiot friend, here ?
Have a seat.
Why certainly, dear.
Hmm, I see.
It does look
serious.
Let's have a look
at his brain cavity.
Just as I suspected,
no activity.
His lack of brain activity
can only lead to one thing.
Now, what's that, doc ?
Death, of course.
( yelps )
You'll have to go
investigate
inside Stimpy !
( booming thunder )
Me, inside him ?
Yes.
Are, are you going to
shrink me ?
Don't be ridiculous.
( huffing air )
( weeping )
Don't forget
to write, Ren.
( yelps )
I'll send a postcard.
( popping like a cork )
Cripes,
it's dark in here.
Now, let's see,
where am I ?
( booming explosion )
Big dipper calling
Uranus 12,
do you read me ?
( brainchild on microphone )
Proceed through
the internal organs
via the brown
line-- over.
That's a roger,
big dipper.
( chugging )
Hey, what are
you lookin' at ?
You !
Yeah, I'm talkin'
to you, buddy.
You think
you're better than me
'cause you can
be digested ?
Well, you ain't, buddy !
You bet your sweet butt,
you're not !
( Corn )
Uppity little punk.
( Coin )
Yeah, boy, the nerve
of some people.
( man on loudspeaker )
Stomach, next stop
will be the stomach.
Watch your step, please.
This is my stop,
so I will get off.
Come on, folks,
let 'em off.
( Corn )
Go ahead and get off.
We're ridin' to the end
of the line.
( Coin )
Yeah, get off !
( beeping )
Ren, I have you
back on screen.
You should be
nearing... the stomach.
Roger, wilco, big dipper.
The stomach is
coming into view now.
( burping )
Good.
Now proceed with
extreme caution.
Antibodies may be present
and they're programmed
to destroy parasites
and foreign matter.
Howdy.
Well, y'all come
right on in.
And it's Tuesday night:
viruses get in for free.
Have a nice time, now !
Hmm, balkanism,
pure bal--
ahh !
Ah !
( horrifying scream )
( slurping )
Oh, baby,
what a woman !
Daddy, tell us about
how you and mommy met.
Well, junior, it all
happened about a year ago,
when my friend stim--
Stimpy !
( Brainchild )
You're almost
to the pharynx, Ren.
Just a little further.
( grunting )
Light !
I, I can
see light !
Yes !
You're in
the sinus cavity.
Be on the lookout for
sudden flash floods
of backwash !
Backwash ?
( snorting )
( gurgling )
Help !
Hey, buddy,
grab my goblin !
Ow !
Hey, take it easy,
will ya ?
( squeaking )
Help !
( popping like a cork )
Ah, the passage
to Stimpy's brain !
( whistling wind )
( squawking bats )
( gasps )
Doc, I see what's
wrong !
So that's what
the problem is.
Stimpy's ignorant gland has a
strangle hold on his brain.
( chuckling )
Hey, you big dope,
let go of that little dope !
Huh ?
Why don't you pick on someone
your own size ?
( maniacal laughter )
( screaming )
Congratulations, Ren,
your mission is a success.
Stimpy's brain activity
is resuming.
Uh-oh.
( rattling alarm clock )
One side, one side.
Telegram for
Mr. Hoke.
That's Hoek.
Uh, read it for me,
will you, boy ?
"To Mr. Ren Hoek:
"Stimpy will deflate
in five seconds-- stop.
"Run for your life--
ha-Ha-- stop.
Best wishes,
brainchild."
Thanks.
Uh-huh.
Now, uh,
where were we ?
Five seconds !
( Brainchild )
Five... four... three...
two... one.
( squeaking air )
( woman crying on Tv )
The baby's college
fund money is missing ?
Did you take it ?
( laughing )
Funny !
( slurping )
( Ren )
Say, Stimpy, how's about
a slurp of your soda ?
Sure thing, pal !
( slurping )
Hey, turn the Tv up,
will ya ?
( crowing rooster )
( humming )
♪ Spaghetti sauce,
cheese, of course ♪
♪ hmm ♪
( shattering )
Uh-huh.
Oh, Ren, it's
bill collecting time.
Yeah ?
Well, how much does
this deadbeat owe us ?
Let's see.
His unpaid bills come to...
1200 and change !
What ?!
Oh, a delinquent, eh ?
I'll take care of
this freeloader.
Uh, what's his name ?
Uh, Jacques-wheeze
la Pierre.
( yelps )
Pierre la Jacques
that crazy Frenchman nearly
killed me last time !
For shame, Ren.
Did we not take
the paperboy's oath ?
( both )
Neither rain, nor dog,
nor stink of cheese
shall stay these couriers
from the swift delivery
of these yellowed
scrolls of journalistic lies.
( knocking )
Who disturbs Pierre ?
Oh, the little
paper babies.
It, it's the matter
of your bill,
Mr. Le Jacques-wheeze, sir.
Oh, how cute.
( speaking French )
Voila !
( speaking French )
Mm-hmm.
Bon.
Look at you,
you little mosquito.
So skinny and rotted out.
And your bloated
little piggy.
Tisk, tisk.
Why don't you become a
lumberjack and be a man,
like my wife, Fifi.
( straining )
Yeah, be a lumberjack.
So, what do
you say, boys ?
Come on, Ren,
I want to be a man,
like the nice lady.
( giggling )
Okay, okay.
Bon.
( speaking French )
( galloping )
( speaking French )
This is a tree !
People say
to Pierre,
"Jacques, why do you
cut down the trees ?"
Are they not...
mwah !
Tres belle ?
No !
These people
are fools.
They do not know
of the eternal struggle
of man versus wood.
The tree is a dangerous
and crafty devil.
You must stay
downwind of them.
The timber, she will...
charge if spooked !
( roaring )
And, on top of that,
they have an ally:
the horrible,
the murderous...
spiny tree lobster.
Watch out for this
little fellow.
He will defend
his tree to the death.
Once he gets his
claws on you,
he will never,
never let go !
Ow, ow, ow...
regard-ay, this one's been
here since Bastille day.
( laughing )
Now, to be
the lumberjack,
you must first
find the tree.
And this book will help you.
And I want you
to digest every page.
Mmm, mmm, healthy.
Bon.
Now go get
those trees !
Toute suite !
( panting )
We've been trudging
for miles,
and I still don't
see no stinking trees.
I say we go back to
being paperboys.
( Pierre )
What ?
Shame on you !
A lumberjack
never says die.
What a couple of pigs.
Oh, boy !
When do we
get to ride beavers ?
Cut down the tree
and you will be up to
your eyebrows in them.
Hi-ho, peter, away !
( moaning )
I don't know how much
longer I can go on, man.
Hey, Stimpy,
is that a tree ?
Uh, hang on, Ren,
I'll check the book.
( dinging )
Hmm.
Let's see, now.
Yep, it's a tree,
all right.
( both )
Hooray, let's cut it down.
( screeching )
Oh, no, Ren, look.
It's a
baby tree !
( buzzing )
( chuckling )
( belching )
( chirping )
Stimpy, is that a tree ?
Hold on, Ren,
I'll check the book again.
Hey, buddy, let me
give you a hand.
Be my guest,
pal o' mine.
Ooh !
Well ?
It's a forest.
How are we ever gonna
find any trees
with this stupid
forest in the way.
We might as well go home
empty handed,
shunned,
ridiculed by our peers.
They'll point and say,
"oh, look, look at
the luckless freaks !"
And then they'll laugh.
Stimpy, it's a tree !
Ooh !
Hey, Ren,
aren't you worried about
the spiny tree lobsters
gettin' us ?
Ah, Jacques just
made that up to scare us.
( scraping )
Whew !
Man, this is
tough going.
Huh ?
No wonder, this stupid tree
is full of wood.
They ought to fill 'em up
with something easier to cut,
like, uh, tapioca pudding.
Huh ?
( honking )
Oh, a tree killer, eh ?
I'll murder you.
But first, I'm gonna
teach you a lesson.
( honking )
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh !
( screaming )
Come with me,
you moron.
I want to
show you somethin'.
This nest is where
Mr. And Mrs. Hornet
make their home.
Hey, buddy, what do you,
uh, like what you see ?
Huh, huh ?
Well, you just wait
right here,
I'll give you
somethin' to look at.
Youch !
Come on, Fido, I got someone
else to show you.
Here we have the rare
and beautiful creature
whose habitat you
have threatened:
the bulbous beak Hornblower.
Known for its enormous beak
and unusual haunting call.
( blaring foghorn )
Come on, you chowderhead,
I have one last thing
to show you:
my nest, and my own
beautiful lobsterling chicks.
Oh, they're so cute.
You must be awfully proud
of the little nippers.
( laughing )
( moaning )
So, Mr. Big shot lumber-jerk,
what have you learned
about nature today ?
What have I learned today ?
I'll show you
what I learned today.
( chuckling )
Yeah, I, Ren Hoek,
learned nature can be cruel.
But I can be
crueler !
( maniacal laughter )
Kill the tree,
kill the tree, kill, kill !
( crashing )
I love being
a lumberjack.
Ren, how could you ?
"Ren, how could you ?"
Did big bad lumberjack destroy
cute little creature's home ?
Yeah, his home.
Nyah, nyah, nyah, !
Why, you, you...
lumberjack !
Oh, my heart
swells with pride.
Congratulation.
You passed
the test.
Now you are
a real lumberjack.
But let me show you how we
really harvest the tree.
We don't saw
them down anymore.
We blow them up.
Yvette mimieux !
( booming explosion )
Well, work's over.
( speaking French )
Late us go to the lumberjack
club and unwind.
We lumberjacks
always top off
a hard day's work
with a hot dip in
the wolverine whirlpool.
A real
manly treat.
Well, how do you like
the whirlpool, huh ?
Nice pool.
But where's the whirl ?
That's the wolverines' job.
Okay, boys,
time to get to work.
( dinging )
And now...
wolverines !
( screaming )
blazing entrails ♪
♪ I got me
a belly full of fire ♪
♪ blazing entrails
blazing entrails ♪
♪ entrails are
the only trails I ride ♪
( snoring )
A-duh !
( crashing )
( imitates mechanical motor )
( groaning )
( shattering )
( gulping )
( gargling )
( gulping )
( belching )
( sawing )
Hey, can't you wait 'til
morning to saw your face off,
like everybody else ?
( sizzling )
( sniffing )
That bacon
sure smells great !
( moaning )
Man, I can almost
taste that bacon already !
Yes, sir-ee bob, doesn't
that just look great ?
Breakfast is served.
( screaming )
All right, that's it,
you're gonna see a doctor.
I've, I've--
moo, meow, beep !
Ooh, eee,
b-R-r-r-R...
yep, this is the address.
Dr. Brainchild
"brains fixed cheap."
I'm not okay,
I'm not okay.
Uh, hello, Mrs. Brainchild's
mom, ma'am.
We're here to see
your son, the doctor.
Well, aren't you
boys sweet.
You'll find
junior in the garage,
playing with his toys.
Eep, eep, eep,
eep, eep, eep !
Boinga, boinga, boinga,
la la la la boo boo !
I swear, kids get
weirder-Looking every day.
( ringing doorbell )
I want a banana,
I want A...
diddle, diddle, fiddle,
piddle, poodle, piddle,
boodle, racky sacky,
want some seafood, mama.
Ooya fooya, ooya fooya,
knock knock !
Oh bareeba satta soap.
Oh bareeba snake can see
the rattle of the somba of...
( puttering motor )
...The peanut butter
set the Pasadena
which has
the rose bowl.
Wow, look at that head.
Hmm, anthropomorphoids.
Interesting...
( yelps )
Hey, doc, can you have a look
at my idiot friend, here ?
Have a seat.
Why certainly, dear.
Hmm, I see.
It does look
serious.
Let's have a look
at his brain cavity.
Just as I suspected,
no activity.
His lack of brain activity
can only lead to one thing.
Now, what's that, doc ?
Death, of course.
( yelps )
You'll have to go
investigate
inside Stimpy !
( booming thunder )
Me, inside him ?
Yes.
Are, are you going to
shrink me ?
Don't be ridiculous.
( huffing air )
( weeping )
Don't forget
to write, Ren.
( yelps )
I'll send a postcard.
( popping like a cork )
Cripes,
it's dark in here.
Now, let's see,
where am I ?
( booming explosion )
Big dipper calling
Uranus 12,
do you read me ?
( brainchild on microphone )
Proceed through
the internal organs
via the brown
line-- over.
That's a roger,
big dipper.
( chugging )
Hey, what are
you lookin' at ?
You !
Yeah, I'm talkin'
to you, buddy.
You think
you're better than me
'cause you can
be digested ?
Well, you ain't, buddy !
You bet your sweet butt,
you're not !
( Corn )
Uppity little punk.
( Coin )
Yeah, boy, the nerve
of some people.
( man on loudspeaker )
Stomach, next stop
will be the stomach.
Watch your step, please.
This is my stop,
so I will get off.
Come on, folks,
let 'em off.
( Corn )
Go ahead and get off.
We're ridin' to the end
of the line.
( Coin )
Yeah, get off !
( beeping )
Ren, I have you
back on screen.
You should be
nearing... the stomach.
Roger, wilco, big dipper.
The stomach is
coming into view now.
( burping )
Good.
Now proceed with
extreme caution.
Antibodies may be present
and they're programmed
to destroy parasites
and foreign matter.
Howdy.
Well, y'all come
right on in.
And it's Tuesday night:
viruses get in for free.
Have a nice time, now !
Hmm, balkanism,
pure bal--
ahh !
Ah !
( horrifying scream )
( slurping )
Oh, baby,
what a woman !
Daddy, tell us about
how you and mommy met.
Well, junior, it all
happened about a year ago,
when my friend stim--
Stimpy !
( Brainchild )
You're almost
to the pharynx, Ren.
Just a little further.
( grunting )
Light !
I, I can
see light !
Yes !
You're in
the sinus cavity.
Be on the lookout for
sudden flash floods
of backwash !
Backwash ?
( snorting )
( gurgling )
Help !
Hey, buddy,
grab my goblin !
Ow !
Hey, take it easy,
will ya ?
( squeaking )
Help !
( popping like a cork )
Ah, the passage
to Stimpy's brain !
( whistling wind )
( squawking bats )
( gasps )
Doc, I see what's
wrong !
So that's what
the problem is.
Stimpy's ignorant gland has a
strangle hold on his brain.
( chuckling )
Hey, you big dope,
let go of that little dope !
Huh ?
Why don't you pick on someone
your own size ?
( maniacal laughter )
( screaming )
Congratulations, Ren,
your mission is a success.
Stimpy's brain activity
is resuming.
Uh-oh.
( rattling alarm clock )
One side, one side.
Telegram for
Mr. Hoke.
That's Hoek.
Uh, read it for me,
will you, boy ?
"To Mr. Ren Hoek:
"Stimpy will deflate
in five seconds-- stop.
"Run for your life--
ha-Ha-- stop.
Best wishes,
brainchild."
Thanks.
Uh-huh.
Now, uh,
where were we ?
Five seconds !
( Brainchild )
Five... four... three...
two... one.
( squeaking air )
( woman crying on Tv )
The baby's college
fund money is missing ?
Did you take it ?
( laughing )
Funny !
( slurping )
( Ren )
Say, Stimpy, how's about
a slurp of your soda ?
Sure thing, pal !
( slurping )
Hey, turn the Tv up,
will ya ?
( crowing rooster )
( humming )
♪ Spaghetti sauce,
cheese, of course ♪
♪ hmm ♪
( shattering )
Uh-huh.
Oh, Ren, it's
bill collecting time.
Yeah ?
Well, how much does
this deadbeat owe us ?
Let's see.
His unpaid bills come to...
1200 and change !
What ?!
Oh, a delinquent, eh ?
I'll take care of
this freeloader.
Uh, what's his name ?
Uh, Jacques-wheeze
la Pierre.
( yelps )
Pierre la Jacques
that crazy Frenchman nearly
killed me last time !
For shame, Ren.
Did we not take
the paperboy's oath ?
( both )
Neither rain, nor dog,
nor stink of cheese
shall stay these couriers
from the swift delivery
of these yellowed
scrolls of journalistic lies.
( knocking )
Who disturbs Pierre ?
Oh, the little
paper babies.
It, it's the matter
of your bill,
Mr. Le Jacques-wheeze, sir.
Oh, how cute.
( speaking French )
Voila !
( speaking French )
Mm-hmm.
Bon.
Look at you,
you little mosquito.
So skinny and rotted out.
And your bloated
little piggy.
Tisk, tisk.
Why don't you become a
lumberjack and be a man,
like my wife, Fifi.
( straining )
Yeah, be a lumberjack.
So, what do
you say, boys ?
Come on, Ren,
I want to be a man,
like the nice lady.
( giggling )
Okay, okay.
Bon.
( speaking French )
( galloping )
( speaking French )
This is a tree !
People say
to Pierre,
"Jacques, why do you
cut down the trees ?"
Are they not...
mwah !
Tres belle ?
No !
These people
are fools.
They do not know
of the eternal struggle
of man versus wood.
The tree is a dangerous
and crafty devil.
You must stay
downwind of them.
The timber, she will...
charge if spooked !
( roaring )
And, on top of that,
they have an ally:
the horrible,
the murderous...
spiny tree lobster.
Watch out for this
little fellow.
He will defend
his tree to the death.
Once he gets his
claws on you,
he will never,
never let go !
Ow, ow, ow...
regard-ay, this one's been
here since Bastille day.
( laughing )
Now, to be
the lumberjack,
you must first
find the tree.
And this book will help you.
And I want you
to digest every page.
Mmm, mmm, healthy.
Bon.
Now go get
those trees !
Toute suite !
( panting )
We've been trudging
for miles,
and I still don't
see no stinking trees.
I say we go back to
being paperboys.
( Pierre )
What ?
Shame on you !
A lumberjack
never says die.
What a couple of pigs.
Oh, boy !
When do we
get to ride beavers ?
Cut down the tree
and you will be up to
your eyebrows in them.
Hi-ho, peter, away !
( moaning )
I don't know how much
longer I can go on, man.
Hey, Stimpy,
is that a tree ?
Uh, hang on, Ren,
I'll check the book.
( dinging )
Hmm.
Let's see, now.
Yep, it's a tree,
all right.
( both )
Hooray, let's cut it down.
( screeching )
Oh, no, Ren, look.
It's a
baby tree !
( buzzing )
( chuckling )
( belching )
( chirping )
Stimpy, is that a tree ?
Hold on, Ren,
I'll check the book again.
Hey, buddy, let me
give you a hand.
Be my guest,
pal o' mine.
Ooh !
Well ?
It's a forest.
How are we ever gonna
find any trees
with this stupid
forest in the way.
We might as well go home
empty handed,
shunned,
ridiculed by our peers.
They'll point and say,
"oh, look, look at
the luckless freaks !"
And then they'll laugh.
Stimpy, it's a tree !
Ooh !
Hey, Ren,
aren't you worried about
the spiny tree lobsters
gettin' us ?
Ah, Jacques just
made that up to scare us.
( scraping )
Whew !
Man, this is
tough going.
Huh ?
No wonder, this stupid tree
is full of wood.
They ought to fill 'em up
with something easier to cut,
like, uh, tapioca pudding.
Huh ?
( honking )
Oh, a tree killer, eh ?
I'll murder you.
But first, I'm gonna
teach you a lesson.
( honking )
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh !
( screaming )
Come with me,
you moron.
I want to
show you somethin'.
This nest is where
Mr. And Mrs. Hornet
make their home.
Hey, buddy, what do you,
uh, like what you see ?
Huh, huh ?
Well, you just wait
right here,
I'll give you
somethin' to look at.
Youch !
Come on, Fido, I got someone
else to show you.
Here we have the rare
and beautiful creature
whose habitat you
have threatened:
the bulbous beak Hornblower.
Known for its enormous beak
and unusual haunting call.
( blaring foghorn )
Come on, you chowderhead,
I have one last thing
to show you:
my nest, and my own
beautiful lobsterling chicks.
Oh, they're so cute.
You must be awfully proud
of the little nippers.
( laughing )
( moaning )
So, Mr. Big shot lumber-jerk,
what have you learned
about nature today ?
What have I learned today ?
I'll show you
what I learned today.
( chuckling )
Yeah, I, Ren Hoek,
learned nature can be cruel.
But I can be
crueler !
( maniacal laughter )
Kill the tree,
kill the tree, kill, kill !
( crashing )
I love being
a lumberjack.
Ren, how could you ?
"Ren, how could you ?"
Did big bad lumberjack destroy
cute little creature's home ?
Yeah, his home.
Nyah, nyah, nyah, !
Why, you, you...
lumberjack !
Oh, my heart
swells with pride.
Congratulation.
You passed
the test.
Now you are
a real lumberjack.
But let me show you how we
really harvest the tree.
We don't saw
them down anymore.
We blow them up.
Yvette mimieux !
( booming explosion )
Well, work's over.
( speaking French )
Late us go to the lumberjack
club and unwind.
We lumberjacks
always top off
a hard day's work
with a hot dip in
the wolverine whirlpool.
A real
manly treat.
Well, how do you like
the whirlpool, huh ?
Nice pool.
But where's the whirl ?
That's the wolverines' job.
Okay, boys,
time to get to work.
( dinging )
And now...
wolverines !
( screaming )