The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 9, Episode 9 - A Wolf in Camille's Clothing - full transcript

As Lisa Vanderpump's birthday approaches, she and Kyle deal with raw emotions in the aftermath of their intense falling out. Denise feels caught between her loyalty to the group and her new...

- I am not going to say,

- I am not going to say,
"Yes, I did something,"

if I didn't do it.
I am a woman with integrity

that stands up
for what's right.

- Yeah, I am too,
just like I'm not gonna say--

- I could have thrown her
under the bus!

- I'm also not gonna say,
"Lisa would never do this."

- No, I'm done.

I'm done with you too.
Kyle, I'm done.

- And it feels like that
you're talking to Radar.

You guys are not
going to believe



what happened to me yesterday.

- What?
- What happened?

- What happened?
- I went to Lisa's house.

- And how'd that go?

- I felt bad that
as her friend--that

I couldn't sit there and say,
"No, I'm sorry.

She would never do this."
I couldn't say that.

She always wants me to swoop in
and defend her, and I often do.

- But you've always been
in that position. For years.

- But when it comes
to not being honest

and not telling the truth,
I'm not willing to do that.

After Denise's wedding
we all thought

that Lisa Vanderpump's issues
with everyone were over,

until Dorit found
an article online.



- "Lisa Vanderpump
feels betrayed

"by her longtime pal
Dorit Kemsley,

"who adopted a dog
from Vanderpump

"only to drop the animal off

at a local animal shelter
shortly thereafter."

- Immediately, all of the women

assumed Lisa
was behind the story.

- I'm not gonna
let her bully me

into being ashamed
for anything.

- I feel sorry for this woman.
- And then I think to myself,

"Maybe she's going through
a hard time right now."

- Well, of course she is.

- When you go through
hard times,

do you try to hurt every
other person in your life?

- As Lisa's friend,

I felt awful
about this conversation

happening behind her back.
She's not here,

and we all have very strong
opinions about this, so it's...

- I understand, but she chose
not to be here.

- But--I know.

- Maybe you're the only person
that can say to her,

"You know what? Like, what
the (BLEEP) are you doing?"

- I want to tell her the truth

and lay everything out
on the table.

- She should have walked away.
When TMZ walked up to her,

she said,
"Excuse me, I can't talk."

- Well, that wasn't
part of the plan.

- No.

- You think I'm gonna give
a story to Radar Online

and then I'm gonna go to TMZ

and refute a story
I've given to Radar Online?

- That's what everybody
thinks, yes.

They were both so angry
and hostile,

and Ken said, "Well, I hope
you told her that's not true

and Lisa would never do that,"
and I said, "No, I didn't."

- He was yelling at you?

- He said to me...

"You're a ----ing liar,"

and Ken said,
"You're not my ----ing friend!

You're not Lisa's ----ing
friend! Get out of our house!"

- Wow.
- I also have to be honest.

- You're not her friend!

You cannot be her friend when
you say something like that.

She would never say
that about you.

- I have to be honest
about how I feel.

- You're a ----ing liar.
You're a ----ing liar,

and you're not my friend
or her friend, so you get out.

- Then she said, "You think
that I did this on purpose?!

Then there's nothing
left to say."

- I'm done with you too.

- Maybe you care more
about your image

than your friendships at times.
At times.

- Okay, good. Bye. Bye.
Bye, Kyle.

Show yourself out, darling.

- She could have just said,

"I'm sorry
that you feel like that."

Anything but this.

- That's not friendship.
That's bullsh--.

[upbeat music]

- In the game of life,
it's Rinna take all.

♪ ♪

- Most people talk
about their fantasies.

I'm living mine.

- In business and in life,

I wear many hats
and hairstyles.

- You can stab me in the back,

but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass.

- I'm not afraid of hard work,

but I'll never
do your dirty work.

- My problem
with the tabloids?

My real life
is so much juicier.

- In Beverly Hills,
the truth always

has a way
of rising to the top.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Puppy! Puppy, come on.

- Want a drinky?

- Hi.

- What happened
with Kyle the other day?

I don't think I've ever lost it
like that in my life before.

- She absolutely knows
it doesn't make sense.

She was after you.
- Okay, you know what?

Steven's coming now.

- Right.
- Why do you look so worried?

- I'm not worried.
- Is it the thought of having

this all smashed to smithereens

and living without
any cooking facilities?

- It doesn't help, does it?
It's a lot of money.

- It's a little bit
more expensive.

It's just, like, 30% more than
what I told you.

Okay, forget it.

- Don't worry, I knew
it would be.

- Oh, Steven. Come on, puppy.

Hello.

- Hi, Lisa.
- Are you on your own?

- So nice to see you.
- Are you on your own?

Or is Giselle coming?

- I am today.
- So what's all this?

- I've got some good stuff
to show you.

- Oh, you have?

- I'm excited.
- You remember Ken.

- Hi, Ken.
- Hey, buddy. How's it going?

- Good, how are you doing?
- Would you like a cup of tea?

- Certainly.
- Do you want any tea, darling?

- No, I just had a cup. Thanks.

- You know what my children
gave me for my birthday?

It was my birthday.

Well, we were having
a little bit of a celebration.

- Happy birthday.
- Yeah.

I didn't feel that it felt
right for us to have

a big celebration
of my birthday this year

since losing my brother,

but Pandora and Ken
have taken it upon themselves

to surprise me and hold
some kind of fabulous party,

and I'm just gonna
go along with it.

My children gave me
this beautiful little locket.

It's got you, Pandy, and Max,
and it's got Nanny K.

- That's beautiful, yeah.

- I think I've taken quite

a lot of crap
from Kyle Richards.

Even last year with Nanny K.

And, you know, Nanny K
was staying with me then,

and that's all.

- Who is Nanny K?

- Nanny K, my grandmother.

- No, I know, but for a second
I was thinking

it was a character
from a movie.

- Even saying little things
like that,

you know, that hurts.

When are we supposed
to be starting, Steven?

- This will be
a transformed space.

The majority of the kitchen--
- Is going to be white.

That's exactly what I want.

I want it fresh and bright
and positive in here.

Binks, you like it?
You like it? He likes it.

- We still need to hit
the stone yards.

We need to look at some
options, but I brought a few.

- And this is the quartz
that won't stain,

won't mark, nothing?
- Yeah.

- I quite like the grays
in there.

And it's gonna be
a lot of white.

I quite like that.

- What do you think of this?

- Yeah.

- This will definitely feel

a little bit lighter,
happier kitchen here.

- I haven't had a good time
in this kitchen as of late,

and to have Kyle just be
so aggressive towards me,

I want a new beginning,

and I want to create
something absolutely gorgeous.

- I'll see you soon. Bye.
- Thank you.

You know what, Ken?

This kitchen has this kind
of negative vibe to me,

and also with Kyle
standing there,

I feel like taking
a sledgehammer

not to her head--
well, to her--no,

but to this kitchen
and just the whole thing.

I want it gone.

[relaxed techno music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you, Francisco.
- Hi, honey.

- Hi, honey.
- How are you? What's up?

[inaudible].
How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm good.

- So you had one of
those happy, good days, honey?

- Yeah.

- Good.
Our date nights over, you know,

25 years of being together
have changed a lot.

God only knows what it was like
when we were dating.

- Gil the maestro.
What's up, man?

- Hello.

And then it was about the kids,
and then it was like,

"We shouldn't talk
about the kids,"

and then it was business.

Now it's like, "Where do you
see ourselves in 10 years?"

"Where do we want to live?"
"What do we want to be doing?"

- Let's do Italian.
A little pinot grigio.

- Pinot grigio.

- Two pinot grigios.
- Perfecto.

- Sweet.
- Okay, thank you.

- How was your day today?
- You know me.

I like to have a lot of balls
in the air.

- Yes.

Grazie mille.

- I'm going to have halibut.

- Sure. Fresh halibut.

- Yeah, just the halibut.

- And [inaudible]
with truffle and the wheel.

- Si. Perfecto. Grazie mille.
- How was your day?

- My day was great.
I had a great day today.

I had an amazing meeting
in downtown LA

with some really amazing
developer guys I really like.

All right.

- You got the fish.
- Wait, what?

- Nino had to make it
all the way.

- Italian way.

- Holy guacamole.
Is this cheese?

- Yes. That's a big wheel.

- Okay, now I do need
some of that. Forget my diet.

- Wow.

- Oh, wow. How much
are these truffles again?

- $3,000 a pound.
- $3,000 a pound?

- Enjoy, huh?

- Grazie mille.
- Grazie mille.

- Wow.
- Oh, God.

This looks really good,
doesn't it?

- Wow.
- Anyway, I woke up today

thinking about,

like, a few weeks ago,
everything felt so different.

It's weird. It's like there
was, like, a shift in energy.

- You cannot just have
everything perfect

all of the time.
It doesn't work that way.

- Listen. I mean, Lisa used
to say to me,

"You're bound to have
some problems here and there.

You have to accept that."

She's right. I still haven't
spoken to her, by the way.

- Nothing?
- It really makes me feel sad.

- We've had so many experiences
with her.

You're such good friends.
It's horrible.

- I mean, I have had issues
in the past,

and there have been things
that happened.

If we're gonna be honest,
we've already had this issue,

but I still love her.

- I don't want love like that.
- That's not love.

- And I wouldn't love somebody
that I would say preys

on the weak,
is manipulative, is a liar.

Why would you love
somebody like that?

I would detest them
actually, frankly.

The only ways that I'm even
in an issue with her

is because I didn't stand up
and say,

"Lisa would never do this."

- I'm shocked at the way
that Ken spoke to you.

That's totally unacceptable.

- I think you were a bit strong
with Kyle the other day.

- I must admit
I was a bit strong,

but when she started
speaking on you

like that I just saw red.

- I'm here as your friend,
okay?

I'm the only one
who has a legitimate--

- You're not her friend.

You're not her friend.
You're not her friend.

- Yeah, I am, Ken.
- You're not her friend.

- Yes, I am.
- You are not her friend.

- Ken, stop it.
- Yes, I ----ing am.

- You need to stand up
for your friends,

but at the end of the day,

you need to be
true to yourself.

- I honestly thought
that we had come

to a place in our relationship

where we were never gonna fight
again, and then this happened.

Even if they did me wrong,
I just hate having bad feelings

between someone
that I care about.

She just makes it so hard
to ever repair things,

because she shuts down.

She holds her friendship
as ransom.

- She's always been
like that though.

- I'm sad. I feel sad.

- I can say I'm hurt, I can say
I don't like anything

that she did,

but I'm not going to stand here
and say,

"What a ----ing bitch she was."
Ah, just said it.

- Coming up...

- Does this hurt our Botox
in any way?

- Well, it depends on
when you got it done.

- Like, what about yesterday?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- We might want to rethink
the inversion.

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Tell me what you want
to put in the smoothie.

- Banana, almond milk,

maybe some chia seeds
and strawberries.

- Sadie, I love it.
I love it, I love it.

- And I think we implement
it really subtly with PK.

We can just start putting it
into his diet

so maybe he doesn't notice it
in the beginning.

- PK was diagnosed with
diabetes before I met him,

and I remember the first
breakfast I ever had with him.

He ordered white toast
with butter,

two fried eggs, potatoes,
French fries, bacon, sausage,

and probably
a side of Coca-Cola.

From that moment on,
it has been a daily struggle.

Diabetes is something
that if you don't treat it,

if you don't attend to it,

if you don't change
your lifestyle,

he'll never be able
to reverse it.

This poor man cannot wrap
his head around the fact

that it's
a very serious illness.

- Vodka Red Bull?
- Yeah, that's fine.

♪ ♪

- And I've said to him time
and time again,

"I want you to be able to enjoy
the things that you enjoy,

and you can at this point,
as long as there's a balance."

- I've never used one
of these before.

- Okay, can I just
tell you something?

- This is scary.
- No word of a lie.

I'm surprised
we even have that.

Which one do you
think goes where?

- Oh, my God.

This is gonna be like the blind
leading the blind.

- Let's go. Click on there,
and then I think this goes--

- Well done.
Let me get some ice.

[blender whirring]

- [screams]

- What is it doing?!

Ahhhh!

[blender stops]

Oh, my God.
Wait, let's just rest it.

Be careful.
Okay, just leave it--

- I've unplugged it now.
- I think we need some greens.

It should be healthy.

- Yeah.

- Like, definitely get
some greens.

I think you need
a little bit more spinach.

- Now, that's on, right?

Sadie, be careful.

And then this comes off
like that.

- We just threw everything
in there,

so we have no idea whether
or not it's gonna be

even--I think I'll just take
a little bit to start.

- You be--you be
the guinea pig.

- Oh. Thanks, Sadie.

I would do anything to trick
PK into eating healthier.

- Mmm. [laughing]

- But this is the most
disgusting smoothie

I've ever tasted.

I mean, there's no way
I'm getting PK to drink it.

If I can't swallow it,

there's no way this man
is gonna drink it.

I feel like
I'm just drinking, like--

- Compost?

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hi.
- I've never done this.

I'm super excited.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi. It's good to see you.

- It's nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.

Where's Denise?

- She went to the bathroom.
- Oh, okay. Cool.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- This is gonna be fun.

- This is hard.
- It's fun before it's hard.

- Hey, baby.
How are you?

- How are you?

- You look great.
- You too.

- How's it going?
- Good, thank you.

- Have you ever done this?
- I have not. Have you?

- No.
- It's gonna be so much fun.

- I'm game to try and do
just about anything.

Maybe I am going through
a midlife yoga crisis.

- Drop the navel.
Lift the gaze for your cow.

- Denise and Erika
are the perfect partners

for such a weird form of yoga

because
they don't give a (BLEEP).

Those are my people.

- So we're gonna come up
on our tip-toes.

You're gonna push down
with those hands

and you're gonna lift
your sit bones inside.

- Oh. Oh!
- Yes.

- Hold onto your fabric
and then lay back.

If it is too deep of a bend
in the back--

- It's really deep.

- Does this hurt our Botox
in any way?

- It depends on when
you got it done.

- Like, what about yesterday?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- We might want to rethink
the inversion.

- Don't make me smile.

- All right, you're hitched
in your fabric.

The wider the leg the better.
- Oh, (BLEEP) me.

- Beautiful.
- [laughing] Oh, my God.

It's absurd. We are upside down
with our legs spread wide.

Not like I haven't been before,
but maybe never upside down.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe
we're doing this.

I cannot even believe it.

- Nice.
- Beautiful.

- Push that right leg away
as you pull yourself up, up.

Keep pushing away. Yes, Denise.

- Yes, yes, yes.
- Holy ----ing sh--.

- Grab this front side fabric.

So the left side fabric
with both hands.

- This is not--who
invented this?

- I am up for trying
any type of exercise,

but I don't get it.
I don't know what it does,

but it's one of those weird
LA classes.

- To plow out, feet come
to the floor,

and then you open up

nice and wide
to release from the fabric.

- Oh!
- Yes.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Beautiful.

So congratulations.
That was your first inversion.

- What is this?
Wait. What am I doing now?

- Just keep bringing those feet
all the way to the floor,

and then open those arms
nice and wide.

Beautiful.

- I definitely suck
at flying yoga.

Totally depressing.

I will not be incorporating
aerial work into my show.

- You have to fill me in
on drinks.

- I'm sad that
I couldn't be there.

- It was good.

- It was good, yeah.
- It was great.

We had a great time, and then
Kyle told us about going over

to Lisa Vanderpump's, and--

- Oh, she went?
- She did. It did not go well.

- What?
- It got heated with Lisa

and heated with Ken,

and then they threw her
out of the house.

- What? They threw her
out of the house?

No. No.

- They threw her
out of the house.

- I've seen Kyle
and Lisa fight,

come back together, disagree,
come back together,

squabble, come back together.

It must be devastating
for Kyle actually.

- She seemed pretty upset
about it.

- Wow.

To kick Kyle
out of the house,

that's pretty major.
This is a whole 'nother level.

Anyway, I want to have
a little get-together for you

for your wedding,
since we didn't really

to get spend much time, like,
celebrating you.

- Oh, thank you.
That would be fun.

- So next Friday,
if you guys can all do it.

- Okay.
- Oh, I can't come.

I have to go to rehearsal.

- Oh!
- Oh, you won't be here?

- Yeah, you're going on tour.

- I'm super excited
it sold out.

I'm really ready.

When you find out
that you've sold out,

that people
are hungry for you...

- You guys, we're going
on tour, as you already know.

- I'm really excited.

Chicago is sold out,
so that's super good.

- Yes, congrats.
- To selling out.

- To selling out.

- You want to go everywhere you
possibly can.

Like, "We need to extend this.
Where else is the demand?

Christmas is canceled."
Like, "Forget your families,

'cause you're on the road
with me. So Merry Christmas."

- I can't wait to see
your show.

- You're gonna love it.

- I'm gonna see it tomorrow.
- It's a good time.

It's a good time.

- I know.
- I have my vision.

- Oh!

- You're welcome to jump
on the tour.

- Coming up...
- Lisa appears to be nice.

- I don't want to get on her
----ing bad side.

If she did this,
she played ----ing dirty.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[drill buzzing]

Oh, I thought I heard drilling.

- You did.

- So you're putting
the cameras up?

- Yeah. So this covers
this whole area here.

If anybody opens that door,
we'll see it.

- So we'll be able to see
people sneak out or sneak in.

Sami's getting
into high school,

and new school, new boys.

That's when kids
usually start sneaking out.

You can't date
until you're 16 years old.

- You guys
are so freaking strict.

Oh, my God.

- I started sneaking out
when I was 15 years old,

so I know my kid's
gonna sneak out,

so I'm putting cameras up
so I can catch her.

She's so mad about this.

- I know.
- Whatever.

At least we're honest.
We could have hid these.

- I know. It's true. Right?
- I'm kind of getting hungry.

Can we barbecue or something
since we're...

- Yeah, yeah. We can.
- We're solo tonight?

♪ ♪

Oh, it's so nice out.

- Isn't it? It's beautiful.

- Oh, this is a nice evening
to decompress after a week.

- I love it.

- Oh, I like hanging
out with you.

- Oh, it's so nice here.

- I'm glad I went
the other night.

- Me too. I had fun.
I felt really bad for Kyle.

- Was it weird to you that
women fight about this sh--?

- Yes, it is.
I mean, guys will just--

- Men are very different.
- Yeah.

They'll just go, you know,
outside, and fisticuffs, or...

- Women go on and on
and on and on.

Aaron's a great sounding board
with the girl talk.

I always tell him anything,

and he will actually really
listen and give some input.

Do you think I should talk
to Lisa Vanderpump?

- What do you want to achieve
by getting in the middle of it?

- You know, my experience
with her and moments

that I've had with her
have been really lovely.

She's been so kind to Eloise.

- Eloise, do I have
a funny accent?

- Don't you love the way
she talks?

- You do think I sound funny,
don't you? A little bit, yeah.

- It's tough to be
in your position,

'cause you--you know,
you just met her. She's...

she appears to be nice,
and--

- And it's--you know what?
- What?

- I don't want to get on
her ----ing bad side.

She plays dirty.

- That's all right.

- If she did this,
she played ----ing dirty.

Have I ever encountered
anyone to play dirty?

Yes, I have.
At the time I shut my mouth,

but in hindsight,
you fight fire with fire.

- She'll probably call you

because you guys
do have a connection,

and if the opportunity
presents itself, then yeah.

- Comes up then do it? Okay.

- And whatever happens,
just speak your truth.

That's it.
- Okay.

- That's all you can do.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm starving!

- You're hungry, my baby? Okay.

You just need to put your shoes
on before we get lunch,

'cause we're gonna
have lunch outside today.

- We'll have lunch, and then
I'll put my shoes on.

- Honey, you never reminded me
to take my pills.

- No, and I want
to check your blood.

- Oh, do we have to?

- Can we check it very
quickly before lunch?

- I can check it now
if you want.

- PK is Type 2 diabetic,
and he's on the cusp right now

of potentially, God forbid,
going into Type 1 diabetes,

which is far more serious
and irreversible.

- All right, let's do this.
- Okay, honey. Listen.

- I haven't done it in ages.

- I try desperately to get him
to eat healthier,

but it's virtually impossible
to get my husband

to eat vegetables.

His mother doesn't
eat vegetables.

So now I've got to try
and undo his lifestyle

for a healthier lifestyle.
Baby, 318.

- That's bad.
- 318.

- That's, like, close
to diabetic coma.

- Honey, I don't know why
you're laughing.

- Because I think
it's a one-off reading.

- 318!
- I could eat this morning.

- PK.

- That's a little bit
of an issue.

- I know, but baby,
it's the same thing

as you think that you're, like,
dieting and losing weight

and living healthy.
I can't get through to you, PK.

- Well, Phoenix, help Daddy.

- I'm playing with my toy.

- PK is an impossible patient.
He brushes it off.

It's just like,
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.

"You're right.
Yep, I'm gonna do it.

Yep, Monday. Yep, next week.
Yep, tomorrow."

That's very frustrating.

At least if I saw it was
registering I'd feel some hope.

We sit outside, and we have
lots of food on the table.

Chicken and a little
bit of pasta.

Oh, boy, Jaggy.
You're getting big.

- What's this?

- Oh, that's a little bit
of dill,

but if you don't like it
you can take it off,

although I don't think
it will do any harm.

- Can you take it off?
- Sure, with pleasure.

- I hate dill.

This is a nice sauce.
What's this, ranch?

- I'm not surprised
that you love that, my love.

So I've had no communication
with Lisa.

PK, I sent her
a birthday message.

- What, did she blank it?
- Totally blanked it.

- I'm not aware that
you've actually fallen out.

- PK, I'm not even aware
that we've fallen out.

I have no idea
where her head is.

- But she didn't ask me
to her birthday.

I know why
she didn't invite Kyle,

'cause she told me
she had a fallout with her,

but why does that mean
she doesn't invite anybody?

- I don't know, my love.

It's the first birthday
that we haven't been invited,

but I can't answer for Lisa.

I'm the one
who should be upset here.

I haven't done anything wrong.
Lisa should be calling me.

- When she's ready to tell me

what her problem is,
she'll tell me.

- I guess that's like--
you know what, PK?

That's the way I feel.
I feel like--you know what,

Lisa,
I know there will be a point

where she wants
to talk about it,

and when she does
I'm ready and available,

but until then,
I'm just getting on with life.

- Coming up...
- I don't even remember being

in bed with the man
for God's sakes.

I mean, it's been that long,

not that it was ever
that hot and heavy.

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.
- How cute.

- It's a jumpsuit kind of day.
- I know.

It felt a little jumpsuit.

- Didn't it?
- It's 'cause the weather

can't really decide
what it's doing.

- I love it though,
'cause it's kind of fallish,

it's kind of summery.
- I know.

- Never a dull moment.

Oh, it's pretty.
- I know. I like this.

- Aww.

- So how's things with you?
- Things are great. Super busy.

What's been happening
is I go home

and then I get in bed
with Slate.

She's like,
"Just give me a kiss,"

and then I'll fall asleep
in bed with her.

- Oh, yeah. I miss those days.
- I know.

- They go fast.
- They're so sweet.

- And then they're like,
"Get out."

- Yeah, soon. I'm just waiting.
I'm waiting.

- Just wait.
- Hi, ladies.

- Hi.
- Welcome to Beauty & Essex.

Can I start you
with something to drink?

- Do you have an Aperol Spritz?
- We do.

- Let's have an Aperol Spritz.
Two please.

- Thanks.

- We're just waiting on I guess
Dorit and Kyle and Camille.

- Denise? Is Camille
coming tonight?

- Camille's coming,

and Erika's rehearsing tonight
for her tour.

How exciting is that?

- I know, but she's coming
to LA.

I'm excited for that.
- I cannot wait.

Denise is having drinks with
Vanderpump before she comes.

- Oh, she is?
- Yes.

She called me and she said,
"I'm running late.

I'm gonna go have a drink
with Vanderpump,"

and I said, "Good."

♪ ♪

- Hey, how are you?
- Good, how are you?

- Good. Are you on your way?

- I am,
but I'm gonna be a little late.

I'm going to meet LVP
for a drink beforehand.

- Oh, are you going to
her house or a restaurant?

- No, meeting her at Tom Tom.

- Oh, okay. This is for
Lisa's birthday, huh?

- Just like
Aaron said would happen,

I heard from Lisa Vanderpump,

and she asked me to stop
by her birthday celebration.

- It's my birthday.

Pandy is literally arranging
something for tomorrow night.

- Wait, tomorrow's
your birthday?

- It was Saturday. She's
arranging something for me.

- Oh. I don't know if I can
help smooth things

over between Lisa Vanderpump
and the other ladies.

All I know is I'm willing
to give it a shot.

- I checked with her,

but I don't think
I'm gonna get a response,

so you can just tell her
I sent her a birthday message.

- You still haven't
heard from her?

- No, no.

Maybe you can bridge
the gap a little.

- Yeah.

- Okay, I'll talk
to you later.

- All righty. All right,
I'll see you in a little bit.

- Bye.
- Okay, bye-bye.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, what's up, dude?
What's going on?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- All right, I'll see you
in a little bit.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

My experience with her
has been really lovely.

I want to be there for her,
and I'm not confronting her.

I want to listen to her.

- And then still or sparkling?
- Still. Thank you.

- Have you talked to her
at all?

- To Denise?

- Lisa Vanderpump.
- No.

We had a little text
back and forth.

- Oh, you did?
- We did.

I tweeted a tweet
for her birthday.

- I saw that.
That was so funny.

Like, you post stories
about your pill bag, like--

- It's my schtick now.
- Yeah.

- It has become a running joke,
not only for me but my family.

This is my--
- [gasps] [laughing]

- Wait, wait.
I bet you I could call--

I bet you I could name
a bunch of those.

- It really started with
Vanderpump and Dorit

and my pill bag.

Lisa, that anti-nausea pill,
did it help?

- Yeah, it did. She's like
a traveling pharmacist.

God, all that sh--

I talked about you,
and then you came in useful.

- All that sh-- that went down
over my pill bag.

Everybody thinks it's funny
because I'm not a pill popper,

and if I was I would never
have made fun of it

in the first place.

I got the sense that maybe
it would be taken another way,

so I sent her a text,
and I was very clear

that it was for fun
and we joke,

and I just got
a text back from her

saying that she was very glad
that it was not intended

another way
because of her brother.

- What?
- I didn't know

that her brother
had died the way he did.

I had no idea.

People started to say

this was in poor taste
due to Lisa's brother,

and I thought, [gasps]
"Oh, no."

I would never in a million--

- That is never--I would
never think--

- Horrible. Never, ever, ever.

- Never, never, and I think
she knows that too.

- I hope so.

My sister died
of a drug overdose.

I would never make
a joke out of that.

She's very sensitive right now,
and, you know,

understandably so.
I get it. I understand.

It is very difficult
what she's going through.

- I know. I agree.
- Coming up...

- Hello, girl.
- Wow. My God, wow.

- Holy sh--, Dorit.
- It's like, "Boobs!" Boobs.

[light techno music]

- So who have we invited?
- Well, most of our friends.

Well, some of our friends.
Some of them are out of town.

One thing I decided,
not to invite anybody

that might make you cry
and upset your birthday.

- That's a sad situation,
isn't it?

That you even have to say that.

- I know, I know.
- Kyle should be coming.

We've celebrated
every birthday.

- Tell the truth.
She totally knows we're here.

- Oh, here they come.
Here they come.

- Where's the birthday girl?
- Oh.

- What, make out?
- But you know what?

I'm not gonna let anything
ruin my birthday tonight.

I couldn't possibly
include Kyle and Dorit.

I'm happy without them.

- Are you excited
for your birthday?

- Yes.

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you?
- Good, and yourself?

- Good, thanks.
- Hi.

- Hi. You made it quicker
than everybody else.

- I don't know how.
There's so much traffic.

- I love your necklace.
You look so good.

- I do? Thank you.
- Yeah, you look great.

- That's a pretty necklace.
- Oh, thank you.

- So pretty.

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hello.
- Wow. My God, wow.

- Holy sh--, Dorit.

- You've been looking
so good, Rinna.

I had to bring it out.

- Oh, honey.
- That's gorgeous.

- You have shamed me and put me
in my place forever.

It's like, "Boobs!"
And those boobs are good boobs.

Come on, those boobs look good.
It's like, "Boobs." Boobs.

- Wait, who else
are we waiting for?

Camille and Denise?
Is that who else is coming?

- Camille and Denise.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

- Speak of the gorgeous devils.
- [overlapping chatter]

- You look gorgeous. Hi.
It's so nice to see you.

- It's so great to see you.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- This looks very bride-to-be.

- So pretty.
- So cute.

- No one stood up for me
by the way,

but that's quite all right.

[laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

- Lisa Vanderpump's not here.

We're meeting for a drink
before she celebrates.

Guests are arriving,
and I feel so awkward.

- Have you been here before?
- I haven't.

It's really--I love it.

It's really beautiful.
I love it.

- It is. It's really something.
This is my third time.

- I have no idea who the guy
is talking to me.

I'll talk to anyone in a bar.
At least he's nice to me.

- I might have to get

a little appetizer.
- Oh, yeah.

We should order
a little something.

- Hi, ladies.

Have we had a chance
to look at the menu?

- What do you recommend
as options?

- Our yellowtail sashimi
is a lovely option.

- That sounds really good.

- [inaudible]. I like that.

- Can you just bring a bunch of
fun stuff for us to nibble on?

- Sure.
- Just bring a whole of nibble.

- And I know
what I want to drink.

- Yeah?
- Is it the cucumber?

Or was it the Green Envy?
Was that it?

- The Green With Envy?
- Green With Envy,

there you go.

- Tell us about your wedding.
- Tell us about the wedding.

- Okay. It's gonna be amazing,
and I'm so glad

that you all--
you ladies are joining me.

- Yes.

I don't think I invited anyone
to my wedding who made the hair

on the back of my neck
stand up.

- There's something about
Dorit that just gets me.

- Jeez, Camille. Tell me.

- There's a little bit
of phoniness,

and I don't know
where she's at.

Like, I don't know if she has
all the money she has,

or is it a show?
The fake accent, all of it.

She makes the back
of the little hairs

on your neck just stand up.
Just wondering what is real.

- "Hey, let's invite
that person

"that, like, gets my goat.

Let's invite her
to my destination wedding."

Who the (BLEEP) does that?

- Have you talked
to Lisa Vanderpump by the way?

- No, I haven't.

- Denise is having drinks
with her right now.

That's why she's not here.
- Oh, okay.

- How is it that Denise
got an invitation

to Lisa Vanderpump's
birthday party

but none of us did?

- You know, I think it's great

that she's there
talking to her.

- Well, maybe she made
some progress. Hopefully.

- Denise she's known
for 10 seconds.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hi. Happy birthday.

- Oh, it's so good
to see all of you.

I love you.
- Hi.

- Thank you for my present.
How are you, darling?

- Good, how are you?
- Good to see you.

- I love you, gorgeous.
You look amazing.

- I feel sad
for Lisa Vanderpump,

putting on a happy face
knowing the other women

aren't here
to celebrate her birthday,

and I know
this is really hard for her.

- Hey.
- Hello, darling.

I came to drop off a gift
for your birthday,

so I just wanted to wish you
a happy birthday.

- Oh, you're so sweet.
Oh, you're so sweet.

I've still got
your wedding gift.

- Oh, stop.
I don't need a wedding gift.

- Do you want to stay?

- I thought we were just
meeting for a drink.

You know what, I have
another dinner to run to.

I would love to otherwise,

but maybe we can have lunch
next week?

"Maybe you forgot."

That's okay, I know
she has a lot on her mind.

I feel bad that there's
so much discord

with everything, and I don't--

- Oh, it's devastated me.

- It's to this point,
you know what I mean?

- Yeah.
Well, I feel even worse.

- I know.

- I don't even want to drag you
into all of this nonsense.

I really don't, you know?

- I don't want you to feel
like you're--

- Under attack?
Anyway, thank you for coming.

- Enjoy your evening.
Of course.

- Thank you, really.
I really, really appreciate it.

- You have a wonderful
birthday dinner.

- Thank you, darling.
I'll see you soon.

- All right, bye. Thank you.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, girls.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- Oh, careful.
- Hi.

- You look beautiful.
- So do you.

- Nice to see you.
[overlapping chatter]

- Congratulations again.

- Well,
I'm fashionably late then.

Thank you.

- Come sit down.
- Hi, girls.

- Hi.
- First of all, how are you?

How is married life?

- Well, so far,
two weeks in, it's good.

- Yay!

- Thank you for
putting this together.

- I know. We need to--
- I'm sorry that I was late.

- Congratulations.

- Okay, so married life
is good.

- Married life is good.
- Everything is good?

- Yeah.
- Your kids are good?

- The kids are good.
- How was Lisa?

- She seemed happy

that she had her family
and her friends there.

- Oh, that's nice.
- I just, you know, told her

that I wanted to meet with her
and see

if we could get together
for lunch or something,

because I don't know
her that well,

and I don't have a lot
of--any history with her,

and so I think that
there's been a lot of discord

with everything.

- The group?
- Yeah, and I think

that there's a way for you
to mend it or not or whatever.

- It's Lisa's birthday.
We're not speaking.

We're not gonna spend
her birthday together.

This is weird.
We're always together.

- I just don't understand why
she's upset with any of us.

- I don't have any beef
with her.

I don't even know
why she would be upset with me.

- I mean, the truth is you guys
were all talking to her

until I went to her house,

and then all of a sudden
everyone got cut off.

- If Lisa's feelings are hurt,

her immediate defense
is she pushes you away,

and when she's ready
she'll speak to you,

but only when she feels
like you've been punished.

- Did anything come up about
the situation tonight?

- No.
I didn't feel it was

appropriate for me
to bring anything up.

- Did she say anything
about anything?

- No, I think she was
a little hesitant.

I mean, literally
we were standing

with--her guests
were right there too.

- Oh.

- She seemed like
she was doing okay.

- That's nice.

- Hey, love.

- Hey, darling. Thank you
for my flowers.

- Of course, my love.

- They look gorgeous.
You're the best.

Thank you so much. Thank you.
- Aren't they beautiful?

Just for you, baby.
Isn't this fantastic?

- Beautiful. I love that.
- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

How are you, darling?

- You look beautiful tonight.

- Thanks.
- Another year.

- I know.

Do you know how long
we've known each other?

- A long time.
Let's not count.

- No.

- Hey, Mom.
- Yes, my children?

- You okay? Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm good.

- Yeah?

I thought you've been having
trouble with your friends.

- Oh, my God.

Who told you that?
- Pandy did.

- Just in general. I--

- I don't even want to talk
about that now.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

- If you need anything
I'm here for you, Mom.

- You can count on us.

- I love you. Thank you.
- I love you too, Mom.

Of course.

- Hey, shouldn't you be
at work tonight?

- I got off for your birthday.

- [laughing]

You must know the owner.
I love you.

- I love you too, Mom.

- Thank you, sweetie.
- Yeah.

- John, what is going on?
- I think that we might have

a little something
prepared for you.

- What is it, like,
shirtless men coming in?

- I don't know, maybe.
A little stripper or something.

- Oh, no!

- It must be my birthday.

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Lisa ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Well, thank God
you have your...

[cheering]

I just want to say thank God
you have your trousers on,

and thank you so much,
all of you, for coming.

It's been a really,
really tough year,

and this next year hopefully
is gonna be better.

But I love all of you,

and your friendship
means everything to me,

and thank you just
for being here. I love you.

[cheering]

- Okay, now let's party.

- I'd love to cheers to Denise.
Let's do a cheers

to Denise and Aaron and many,
many happy years together.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- And you're next.

- Cheers!

- And to the next bride-to-be,
Camille.

- And cheers to the next
bride-to-be, Camille!

- Thank you, girls.
- Yay! Hawaii, here we come.

- And my shower coming up.

- I planned her shower
not knowing it was where Kelsey

and her got married.
Can you imagine?

- That's, like,
ancient history.

- It looks good.

- Congratulations,
and good luck tonight.

- Thank you.

- I love you.
- Thank you.

- You're gonna do great.
- I love you too.

- I don't even remember, like,
being in bed with the man,

for God's sakes.
- Oh, my God.

- I mean, it's been that long,

not that it was ever
that hot and heavy.

And listen, I have so much,

because I've learned a lot
because of him.

I was deeply, madly in love
with him during our marriage,

and in the end
it just petered out.

Somebody's in the apartment as
Mrs. Grammer; it's just not me.

Whoever this is--I mean,

I do in my heart believe
it's a woman.

I mean, does she not know
that she's destroying a family?

It wasn't forever. It just--

- That's a nice way
of putting it.

I'm actually gonna use that
if mine peters out too.

- Dorit's never seen me
like this.

- Oh, my God. No, never.

- You never spend enough time.
Kyle knows it.

- I love this Camille.

- We had her in Colorado.

- If he's a bad kisser,
forget it.

- Oh, my God.
- Forget it.

My ex was a terrible kisser.

[laughter]

- Here we go!

- I'm not gonna lie that
I'm very entertained

when Camille gets
on a roll like this.

You just don't know

what is gonna come
out of Camille's mouth

when she's talking
about Kelsey,

or anyone if she's pissed off
at them for that matter.

- I think Camille
needs another drink.

- I need another drink.
See what happens every...

- Yeah, one drink in.

Camille, what else
can we talk about?

- Did you ever male-groom PK?
- I don't do it.

- I like to see my men
male-groomed. Like, male--

- But thank God PK is very,
very well-groomed.

He is so clean.

- And I'm an ex-dental
assistant.

It's hard for me because
I was a dental assistant.

- [inaudible]?
- I was a dental assistant.

- You were a dental assistant?
- Yes, I was.

I'm really funny
about teeth, for real.

God, before Lisa Vanderpump
got her teeth redone,

I had an issue with the...

[laughter]

I had such an issue with
the gums.

I was like,
honey, you need new caps.

Your gum line is receding.

And that was...

- I'm done.
I'm very dehydrated.

- I didn't know
she had her teeth done.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God, Camille.

You need to zip it.

You're going just a bit
too far.

- I can't breathe.

- I think I'm getting hives.

- I know, I'm so hot.

I know that I have my issues
with Lisa Vanderpump,

but this kind of talk
out of Camille--

I mean, that is next level.

No going back from that.

- And now they look great.

Well, at least you can
stand her breath.

I'm going down. I'm going down.

Just bring my casket
to my wedding and after...

I'll bring the 9-inch nails
next to it.

We'll just put me in it.
God help me.

- Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":

- It's the bride.

- Hi!
- I love a bridal shower.

- What happened to Vanderpump?
She's not here.

She's not coming?

- The last time I stood here,
it was with a friend of mine.

Bitch!

- It's so good to see you.
- I know, Lois!

Lois is in town!

- Guess who's here right now.
- Who?

- She just sent me a text
saying, "I'm watching you."

- What?

- Are you kidding me?
Is this a coincidence?

- We don't know if for sure
it happened or not.

- Camille, he's gonna be
a judge on our court

for the rest of his
----ing life,

and that is a very big
----ing thing.

- I know what it feels like
to be wrongfully accused.

- To learn more about
the Housewives,