The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 9, Episode 7 - Eat, Drink, and Be Married - full transcript
Kyle, Dorit and Teddi shop for a wedding gift for Denise, who scrambles to pull off her big day in record time. Lisa Rinna comes face-to-face with an old flame, who dated both her and ...
- Previously, on "The Real
- Previously, on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":
- All right, well, cheers
to trying to put
a wedding together
in less than a week.
[laughs]
- I know, right?
We're doing it.
- When you met him, was it
like instant attraction?
- Well, he has
a very big penis.
- Oh, my God, stop.
- Okay, then!
- What's the dress vibe
gonna be for your 50th?
- Fabulous at 50!
Happy birthday!
You've been on
this journey with me
through the highs and lows.
- I really feel like
Lisa Vanderpump is going
to try to turn this
all around on me
and not admit what she's done,
and I don't know how
to move on from it.
I feel betrayed by you.
- Okay, well, I feel
betrayed by you, too.
- Oh, 'cause I couldn't
carry out your plan?
Sorry.
- Lisa is going through a lot,
so I just think we should
give her some elasticity.
- How much do I have to take?
A friend doesn't do that
to someone.
[upbeat music]
- In the game of life,
it's Rinna take all.
♪ ♪
- Most people talk
about their fantasies.
I'm living mine.
- In business and in life,
I wear many hats
and hairstyles.
- You can stab me in the back,
but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass.
- I'm not afraid of hard work,
but I'll never
do your dirty work.
- My problem
with the tabloids?
My real life
is so much juicier.
- In Beverly Hills,
the truth always
has a way
of rising to the top.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Tell me you're ready
to get your mind blown.
- Yeah, I'm really excited.
♪ ♪
all: Hello!
- It smells good in here!
- [indistinct]
- Ah!
Nice to see you.
- Hi!
- The gang is all here,
I love it.
- Look at all these creatives.
- All the cool kids.
- All the cool kids.
Okay.
- You guys,
we're going on tour.
As you already know.
- I'm really excited.
Chicago is sold out...
- Yeah!
- So that's super good.
- And we're doing something
that we haven't done before
in the "Pretty Mess" tour.
Many costume changes.
- We're embarking on
a 15-city tour.
This is what we've
always dreamed of.
- The inspiration for this
was something that's
strong and tough.
- But still moody,
because that's what
the first music was about.
It was very clubby.
- Right.
- Mikey and I created
an hour-long show
told in three acts.
New material,
vintage Erika Jayne--
meaning the beginning--
and then new material
at the end.
It's fabulosity.
- So the show starts with,
like, an urban girl,
Barbie, Hello Kitty, pinked,
"Around the Way Girl" fantasy.
- [gasps] Gladiator!
- So it's like a gladiator.
Slit all the way up both sides
so you can squat.
- Having come from, you know,
basements, clubs,
you're changing costumes
in the hallway,
in the bathroom.
- The show is happening!
The stage is wet, baby.
We need towels, now.
- This one time there was,
like, lube on the stage.
Everybody was sliding
all around.
I mean, that sh--'s dangerous,
let's be honest.
Oh, wait, what is this?
- So this--it's actually
a little bit of an homage
to the latex thing
you wore in Berlin.
[tires squealing]
[funky music]
- This is ----ing dope.
It's so good, babe.
- And then blackout,
you magically appear.
- Oh, sh--!
[all laughing]
- A ----ing hood!
- Right?
- Yeah!
I mean, arms covered,
boobs up,
legs out, waist in.
It's not science.
Ass out.
I love this.
I am so blown away.
- I feel like
we should celebrate.
- We should celebrate.
Oh, no way!
Come here, honey, I'll do it.
I'm a professional.
[cork pops]
- Whoo!
- Yes!
- Let me pour you all
some champs.
- Well, "Pretty Mess,"
to selling out.
all: Selling out.
- It's 5:00 somewhere.
[all laugh]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, honey.
- How are you?
- You look so cute.
Look at you.
How are you?
- How are you?
- Good!
Oh, should we go
do some shopping?
- We need to find Denise
a wedding gift.
- I know.
- I'm just telling you that
a shopping excursion with you--
I know I'll be carrying
your bags out to your car.
[laughing]
- I really can't have
this reputation.
♪ ♪
all: Hi!
- Hi, ladies.
So cute in here.
- It's so cute, isn't it?
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- We were just talking
about that.
- We don't have to get one
because we don't even
know her taste.
All I know is that
she likes tequila.
[all laughing]
- Well, Lisa and I
were going to meet her,
and then she showed up
with Aaron.
She was saying, like,
the funniest things.
She kept talking about
the size of Aaron's penis.
both: No!
- Yeah.
- He offers
a very good service.
Aside from his big penis.
[all laughing]
- In front of him!
- Yes!
You guys, no, seriously,
with the way that it was going,
anything could happen
at this wedding.
I'm just warning you.
- What about the fact
that she's planning her wedding
in two days?
- I can't even go because
we have the agency's
seven-year anniversary party.
- Oh, my God.
- And I can't not be there.
I mean, this is like
800 people.
I am so disappointed
I'm gonna miss the wedding
because I'm so curious
what kind of wedding
you can pull off in two days.
Where's the dress?
The food?
The flowers?
The people?
How are you gonna do this?
I can't go,
but I do want pictures.
What's going on
in my head right now
is a disaster.
I can pull off a party
really fast.
A wedding, I don't think
I could do.
♪ ♪
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi!
- I'm Denise.
- Hi, Matthew.
- Matthew, it's so nice
to meet you.
This is so pretty.
- Oh, thank you.
- I love this.
I didn't even know
you guys were back here.
- Oh.
- This is a hidden gem.
- Hey, mama.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
So pretty.
- Isn't this amazing?
- Beautiful.
I'm Mikey, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Matthew.
- Sorry, I thought
you guys had met.
- No, not yet.
- This is the groom.
- Wanna get started?
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
This is, like,
out of a storybook.
This is house is on--
really amazing.
Most people plan a wedding
six months, a year,
two years out, and here we are
a few days before our wedding.
It's so not what you imagine
also in, uh,
Malibu, too, right?
What needs to happen
for us to pull off the wedding,
we need, first of all,
a place to get married.
We need catering.
We need flowers, music,
and a couple other things.
- Usually there's an aisle in
line with that brick pathway,
and then you have chairs
on either side.
Receptions are usually
on the other side.
You can hold more guests there.
- As a little girl, I knew when
I got married that I wanted
to have something, like,
really fancy and beautiful.
We don't know how many guests
will be coming.
- Oh, okay.
- [laughs]
But I've had the big
Hollywood wedding before.
Giorgio Armani flew me
to Italy, designed my dress.
Lots of paparazzi were there.
The wedding was much better
than the marriage.
[laughs]
I love it.
- I love it.
- And it's two minutes
from our house.
- I know, and it's available.
- And this is available.
- Well, when do you want
to get married?
- September 8th.
- September 8th?
- Yeah.
- Wow, that--that's right
around the corner.
- We have two days.
We're gonna set you up
to a challenge.
Do you think you can do this
in two days?
- This is gonna be
a world record.
[all laughing]
- See?
Are we out of our minds?
- Well, we can pull stuff
together fast.
Aaron really wants
to get married
with the number eight
in the date.
- So numerology,
if you add it all up?
It's infinity.
Eight.
- So is that a--
a good luck number?
- What do you think?
Infinity, babe.
- It just so happens
that his divorce was final
two weeks before
September 8th.
Just, like, "(BLEEP) it,
let's just do it."
It's really beautiful
and so magical.
- I love it.
- I do, too.
I think this is a no-brainer.
We'll take it.
- We'll take it.
- Sold.
- Now we gotta make sure we can
get all the other elements
done by then, too.
- Oh, boy.
[funky music]
- If she pulls this off,
it's gonna be a miracle.
- I didn't have a big wedding.
I mean, it was just my family,
but it still took me
six months.
- PK and I were living in LA,
we were getting married
in New York,
and our wedding planner
lived in London, okay?
That was stressful
in and of itself.
So stressful.
I loved my wedding to PK.
It was a Gatsby-themed
roaring '20s.
I wore an Oscar de la Renta
wedding gown.
It was at the Rainbow Room
in New York City.
It was...
one of the best moments
in my life,
and one of the most
beautiful memories.
- So you're--you're gonna
see Lisa at Denise's wedding.
- Here's the thing:
I think it'll be fine
'cause her and I can both
just coexist.
I said my piece already,
so I don't have
anything else to say.
- She might make some jabs,
or she'll ignore you.
I mean, as far as
we're concerned, I don't know.
- It's not fun for me
to be stuck in the middle
of my friendship with Lisa
and my friendship
with the other ladies.
I tried getting Teddi
and Lisa together
to have a conversation so they
could hear each other out
and hopefully make up.
- I was thinking
and wondering--and I don't know
how open you guys are,
you know, going to be to it--
but if you guys would want
to get together to meet--
- Frankly, I've got
no interest
in doing that right now.
Although, thanks anyway.
- Okay.
- I don't have anything else
I need to say to her.
- You tried.
"A" for effort.
- Maybe I'm being selfish,
but it would make my life
a lot easier
if Lisa and Teddi were okay.
And Dorit and Lisa.
Ooh, look at these.
- Like a little four-pack
or something?
- Is this the bucket
that goes with them?
- Oh, that's pretty.
- You know what, girls?
I'm gonna get the tequila,
and you get the stuff
that goes with the tequila.
- Oh, that's a good idea.
- And you guys can just
mail it, right?
- We'll have it
delivered, yeah.
I'll just put it on my card
and you can Venmo me.
- Well, the--the wedding
should be interesting,
that's for sure.
- Yeah, and I'm sure
there won't be any issue
at somebody's wedding.
- Yeah, no one's gonna do that.
Cut to.
- Wait a minute.
- Being thrown in the ocean.
[all laughing]
- Coming up...
- Okay, I need a new kitchen.
I don't mind paying
an extra $300,000 for it.
- $300,000 now?
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- [grunts]
I'm exhausted!
[sighs]
I'm really busy.
That has never changed.
I go to QVC once a month...
You throw it on and you're
five seconds to fabulous.
- 5,500 already ordered.
- Oh, my goodness.
- It's today and today only
at this price.
- My hustle's still going
real strong.
I just ----ing do it,
because you know why?
I support my family.
And the business is huge,
way bigger than
anybody realizes.
[clears throat]
[phone line ringing]
Hello!
- You look so pretty!
Are you in Philadelphia?
- I am.
I'm just here, you know,
selling away.
And I will make it home
for your wedding.
- I'm so excited!
- Thank goodness.
I wouldn't miss it.
Are you kidding?
- Aww, thank you.
- I don't think Denise
is rushing into it,
because I know what Denise
has gone through
and I've seen her struggle.
I would have married Harry
that quick, but he just
wouldn't marry me that fast.
Do you think--
- I just want it
about us and the kids.
If things aren't perfect,
that's okay.
- Ah, Denise,
your attitude is amazing.
[laughs]
- Well, I've gone through
a lot, Lisa.
The--the other wedding
we planned out to a "T,"
and it didn't go so well.
- Harry and I got married
at the house,
and it was perfect.
We were in a circle,
so we were in the middle
and everybody was around us
holding candles.
So the entire wedding
was lit by candlelight.
Like, amazing.
Well, I'm sending...
- Me, too.
- Sending--sending you lots
of good-wedding vibes,
and prayers,
and blessings, and love.
- Thank you so much,
and I'll see you Saturday.
- Okay, honey, love you.
[blows kiss]
- Bye.
[upbeat pop music]
♪ ♪
- You are gonna love it.
- What is it called?
"Cooper Pacific"?
- Hello.
- Hi, Lisa.
- This is my husband, Ken.
- Ken.
- Hi, how are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- How are you?
- Thanks for coming in.
- You're welcome.
So, Ken...
he doesn't think
I need a new kitchen.
- I know you don't need
a new kitchen.
- The units aren't good,
the drawers, the closure--
and also, it's dark.
This is a chicken soup
that I made
in the kitchen that I hate.
- I know you hate it,
but the food comes out
pretty well.
[lid clanks]
Pretty tasty.
- I want it bright,
I want it white,
and this is the kitchen
I really love.
I love these taps.
I love that.
I love this big white sink.
- You're so funny,
you were all sad at home.
And you come here
and you're all happy.
- Because I want this,
and I deserve this,
and I've had a horrible time.
- Just--just depends whether
I can afford happy.
- I think if I've learned
anything as of late,
it's to do
what makes you happy.
Surround yourself
by people and things
that make you happy.
It's depressing
in my kitchen, it's dark.
- Well, let's do something
a little lighter.
- I want, like,
either pink or white.
There is no room
in my life right now
for any negativity.
- I know you're not gonna take
any ownership for your part.
If you can live with yourself
doing this, then go for it.
It's been working for you
for a long time.
- [gasps]
- Okay, I'm fine with that.
It's an investment,
because it's adding
to the value of the house.
It's a little bit more
than 200, one might say.
- It could be up
from that a bit.
- Somebody's gonna
come in the house,
in the unlikely event
that we sell it--
they're gonna say,
"I've got to have this house
"because this kitchen
is so bloody amazing
that I don't mind paying
an extra $300,000 for it."
- $300,000 now.
Three hundred grand's
a bit steep, isn't it?
If I say yes,
will you be really happy
when we leave here?
- Ecstatic.
- Oh, great.
I've got a great night ahead.
- [giggling]
I think sunlight
and white sparkly...
is gonna be good for the soul.
Maybe not so good
for the bank account,
but good for the soul.
- Steven...
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- It's been a pleasure.
- Don't let me down.
- We'll see you soon.
- I love it.
Thanks, Steven.
[funky pop music]
♪ ♪
- So we got the...
- The marriage license.
- The marriage license.
So after the ceremony, um,
you just sign there.
- Right there, that's it.
- Okay.
- That's all you do.
I definitely feel like
the clock is ticking.
Trying to pull
everything together
has been really hectic.
- Do you want, like, a buffet
or a served dinner?
- Probably a buffet
is probably easier.
We need to do a cake.
Let's do a cake.
We want the music
to be who we are,
and not what's traditional.
- Can we get a dunk tank?
- No, we're not gonna have
a little carnival.
My dress is still not
even here at the house,
so I am praying
when my dress shows up tomorrow
that it actually fits.
- Are any of you, like,
exes gonna be there?
- One of my ex-boyfriends
will be there,
but we're very good friends.
- I reached out
to her ex-husband...
- Yeah.
- And, uh, it's--
it's to be determined.
- No matter what's gone down
with Charlie and I,
I invite Charlie to everything
having to do with
the kids and I.
And even if he did bring
a prostitute as his date,
I wouldn't care.
It's just, you know--
it is what it is.
Now, also, for the ceremony,
I wanted to light a candle
in honor of my mom.
Just letting everyone know
that, um...
this is in her memory
and in honor of her,
and that we know that she's
here with us,
and that she'd be very happy.
I was so close to my mom.
My mom had me when she was
17 years old.
We were just best friends.
It was 13 years ago
that she passed away,
and it's still hard, you know?
I went through a lot
these last quite a few years,
and I know she would have
loved Aaron.
She would have been so happy
for me and the girls.
But that's part of life.
Oh, God.
[clicks tongue]
[sniffs]
- That brings us, then,
to the girls.
So is there anything special
you would like me to say
besides, like, a scripture
for the girls?
- I wish we had more time
to go through stuff with them.
- Yeah.
- Because it--it came on
so fast, and we're...
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, I--I feel like
we really kind of did
a little bit of disservice
telling them.
- I waited to tell the girls
two days before the wedding
because I think I was afraid
of my teenage daughters
judging me.
[laughs]
Even though that sounds weird.
We're so excited
you're doing this.
Thank you so much.
All right, baby,
I'm gonna walk him out.
The girls!
Some of you.
- Hey, Lola.
- In hindsight, we should have
told them a while ago
that we were planning
on getting married.
I--I really regret that part.
Is that going with your dress?
I love that.
But it's the norm in Hollywood
to be married more than once,
so Sami and Lola finding out
that I'm getting married
in two days, well...
[clicks tongue]
It's not so abnormal
in our family.
[laughs]
It's our normal.
- Lola.
- Yeah?
- Here's a present.
- Pretty.
It's so pretty.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- The girls definitely
accept Aaron.
They adore him.
Eloise, what did you get?
- Here you go.
How is that?
Is it cute?
Let's see.
Yeah?
- I give Aaron
a lot of credit.
He doesn't have children,
and he has just fit right in
with our family.
And that's--it's challenging,
and I--it says a lot about him,
which made me fall in love
with him even more,
that he's not even fazed
by any of this.
I forgot to tell you, we're--
we have to set everything up.
- What?
- [laughs]
- We're doing it?
- Yeah.
Because it was so last minute,
we have to set it all up.
- Oh, my God.
Are you for real?
- No, I'm joking.
- Holy sh--.
- Did you really think--
- You just about gave me
a heart attack.
I'm like, "Oh, my God."
- You could do it.
- Coming up...
- I'm not having
any drama today.
- Here they are.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I'm so glad
the location is so close.
- I know, it's great.
- It's nice to get ready here.
Well, where is the sunshine?
- It's coming.
- You look like a princess.
- Aww, thank you.
- I used the black, like,
really sticky, but it'll--
if you cry, it's the only one
that was resistant
to, um, saline, which is
salt water for your--
- I'm not gonna cry.
- You might.
What--why are you laughing?
Like, you don't even--
you're like, "Whatevs."
- I have no idea
what the venue looks like.
I don't know
if flowers showed up.
I don't know if there's music.
We didn't do a rehearsal.
I'm actually nervous that
nobody's gonna show up
because this is so last-minute.
I'll take a picture.
- Mom, don't take a photo
of this.
- Oh, wait, that's towards me.
- Mom, stop.
- What?
You look pretty.
Look at your eyeball.
- Mom, stop it.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- Hi, girl.
Do you recognize this?
- Oh, shut up!
[squeals]
No way! Erika!
- Yeah, I did this...
[laughs]
That's why I'm late.
I wanted to put on
my Lisa Rinna jumper.
Hi, Lola!
- I am ---- dying. I'm dying!
Oh, my God!
- I'm going
to someone's wedding,
so I can't really show out.
It's all about Denise,
not about me.
Even though it's black
to a wedding,
don't read too much into it.
You know, it's still chic.
- That look so,
so sassy on you.
- Right?
- ----ing love it.
With those shoes?
Girl!
Erika Jayne has the most
fabulous clothes of anyone.
- Erika Girardi!
Oh, my Lord.
- How's this looking?
- Let's see.
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
- I heard someone called
for a dominatrix.
- And she made an effort
to put on
my poly-span jumpsuit.
It's so--
- No, I know, it's great.
- It's so exciting!
[upbeat pop music]
♪ ♪
- I don't know where
we're supposed to go.
- I think we go down...
- Oh, down there?
I can't believe they pulled
all of this together this fast.
- It's beautiful.
What time's the actual wedding?
4:00?
- No, 2:00.
We have to leave at 4:00.
♪ ♪
Think I'm gonna
skip the lemonade
and go for
a alcoholic beverage.
Can I have
a glass of champagne?
♪ ♪
- How cool is this?
That's so special.
I love that.
I'm excited for my own wedding,
but Denise beat me
to the altar!
I think it's fantastic.
She's been through a lot,
and she deserves happiness.
- I love weddings.
- Me, too.
I love weddings.
- You look gorgeous.
[kisses]
- Oh, Camille, you look
so beautiful.
- Thank you.
- You look gorgeous.
Today's the first time I'm
going to see Lisa Vanderpump,
but I will do my best
to just be cordial
and, you know,
pull it together.
50th birthdays I can ruin,
but weddings?
Come on.
♪ ♪
- Oh, there's my dad.
Dad, here, can...
So, I--I wasn't gonna have you
walk me down the aisle
because I feel like I'm
the oldest bride
in Los Angeles.
- You're not.
- I am.
So I was just gonna
go with the girls and Aaron.
- That's perfect.
- But I want you
to light a candle for Mom.
Are you okay to do that?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- I don't want
to hurt your feelings.
- Nah, don't...
[stammers, laughing]
- My dad and I are so close.
We always have been.
My father came to stay
with the girls and I
when they were little
after my mom passed away.
Charlie was going through
a lot of stuff.
My dad ended up staying
for five years.
- You know, it's already 2:00.
- I know, it starts at 2:00.
- [laughs] You're late
for your own wedding.
- That's okay.
[both laughing]
- Yeah, they can't start
without you, right?
- I have to go get dressed.
♪ ♪
- So, congratulations, Denise.
- Right?
So I don't really know
what to expect.
- I know Kyle's not coming.
- She's not?
- She's at the agency party
with 400 people at her house.
- Oh, sh--, I didn't know that.
- Teddi's coming
for a brief moment.
She had planned
a birthday party
months in advance.
I've gotta leave at 4:00.
- How about LVP?
Will she come?
- Don't know.
I haven't talked to Lisa.
Kyle told me that
she went to dinner
with Denise and Aaron
and, um, Vanderpump,
and Denise had had
a cocktail or two.
And then she kind of talked
about Aaron's--
the size of Aaron's penis,
but in a good way.
- So Vanderpump must have been
frothing at the mouth.
- That's what I said.
I said, "She must have
loved that."
But they had
a really nice time.
And nobody talked about
dog drama, so that's good.
- That's a plus.
- Right?
- That dog is fine.
Move on.
It's Denise's wedding,
and no one should do one thing.
Everyone should be
on their very best behavior.
I'd be happy if we never
talked about that again,
but I know that
that's just a pipe dream.
♪ ♪
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- This is gonna be
a celebratory day.
By the way, I have no idea what
drama is going on right now.
- I'm not having
any drama today.
- Thank you.
- Watch your step.
- Now where do we go?
- Down to the water.
- Oh, how sweet.
Isn't it?
- Oh, you're sweating?
Why don't you take
your jacket off?
[indistinct chatter]
- Perfect.
- I'm not thrilled
to see the other women,
and after Camille's birthday
I hope that there's
not a repeat
of the kind of
intense animosity
that transpired there.
- There he is.
Here they are.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- What time's the ceremony?
- It's supposed to be 2:00.
- I'm so late.
- It's hot as (BLEEP) out here.
I'm hot and I'm mad.
When's it happening?
- Here they are.
- Perfect.
- Hi, how are you?
- Haven't spoke in forever.
- I know right.
both: Hi.
- Hi.
Good to see you.
- How are you?
- Are you here to take notes?
- Hello, yes.
- We're studying.
- Hi!
Look at how wonderful
everybody looks.
- My breasts got bigger
on the way in.
- Your breasts look enormous.
- When I left the house,
they were much smaller.
- I don't think an apology is
anywhere in the near future.
If Vanderpump wants to joke
about her boobs
and pretend that all is well,
it's perfectly okay with me.
- Ken, stop looking
at my chest.
You're not getting
any of that later.
- You haven't exactly
put them away.
- But what about yours?
Come on.
- She loves an apology,
but she ain't dishing 'em out.
- Stare at hers.
They--they're ones
you haven't seen before.
- No, he's just
so not interested.
♪ ♪
- Hey, hey, hey.
- How are you?
Thank you so much for coming.
- Yeah.
- Aaron's in the shower.
I'm so late.
Baby?
- Yeah?
- Hi, honey.
- We good?
- Yeah--oh, yeah, come on in.
- Okay.
- We're gonna put my dress on.
- All right.
- And they brought me
a sketch of it.
This is stunning.
I love this.
We have to frame it and hang it
in our room or something.
You know, I didn't want to do
the big traditional ball gown
because it is
my second wedding.
I showed Mark pictures
of what I envisioned
the dress to be like,
and I don't know how
but he was able
to come up with it so quick
and so fast.
It is beachy, it's who I am.
- Oh, I'm not supposed
to see you.
Sorry.
- You already saw it.
- Sorry.
- [laughs]
[stirring music]
- I love it.
Oh, this is so pretty.
I love it.
Oh, you added this.
- Yeah, 'cause I was--
it was habit.
So there's a little--
a little bit here and there.
- This is stunning, I love it.
♪ ♪
- Hi, Teddi.
Nice to meet you.
- This is Rebecca.
- Edwin, nice to meet you.
- Teddi, nice to meet you.
You look beautiful.
- Baby, look who it is.
- Thank you.
Oh, God.
How are you, Dorit?
Jerry.
- Of course.
- It's great to see you.
- Well, I do remember.
We did spend a couple--
- No, I know.
Just in case--a lot of people
think I'm Jason Bateman,
so I just say--I say "Jerry."
- Hi, gang.
- Hey, beautiful.
- How's everybody?
- I love this black jumpsuit.
- I saw you come down.
I was like, "Thank God Rebecca
did the same thing!
She doesn't think
it's a funeral."
- Who just grabbed my ass?
Oh!
- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- I'm really good.
Hi, honey, how are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Here's the thing:
I don't have a beef
with Vanderpump right now,
so I'm not surprised
that she would come up
and pinch my butt.
She can't help
but touch me, grab me,
want a piece of me.
She's slightly obsessed
with me.
Just slightly.
- What time's the ceremony?
- It's supposed to be 2:00.
- Oh.
- Is it?
- It was supposed to be.
I mean, I feel like we were
half an hour late for that.
- Uh-oh.
Denise is late
to her own wedding,
and it's on Teddi's radar.
- If somebody says 4:00,
it's 4:00.
I sat there for one hour.
- Don't be ridiculous, Teddi.
Denise, you'd better get here,
otherwise the
punctuality police
is gonna ticket you.
- Can you get
some lotion for me?
- I don't know
where it would be.
I don't know if we have lotion.
- I have lotion.
- Oh, can you grab some lotion?
Thank you.
- Wait, Mom?
- Yeah?
- Do you have any more heels?
I can't really walk in these.
- No, I have no other heels.
- Oh, Sami, you look amazing.
- You're gonna have to learn
how to walk in them
in two seconds.
- I can't, my ankles are like--
- I know.
They're, uh,
Christian Louboutin.
You gotta figure it out.
- Can I wear sneakers?
- Yeah, wear your sneakers.
I don't give a sh--.
Yes.
- [laughs]
- Come on.
[testy music]
- I thought it was supposed
to start at two.
- Maybe she's not
left home yet.
[both laugh]
I mean, I can't really
blame Denise for being late
if what she says about
Aaron's manhood is true.
I mean, it's a wonder that
she ever gets out of bed.
- They want us to sit.
- Well...
- Ken? Ken?
Save me a place.
- Okay, baby.
♪ ♪
- Am I sweating
through my clothes?
- I am.
It's hot as (BLEEP) out here.
I'm hot and I'm mad.
I'm "les mis."
My hair is on fire,
I'm sweating,
this poly-span jumper
is gonna combust.
I do wanna say
this poly does not breathe!
- And she's in full-on
polyester, honey.
- I feel like
I'm getting burned.
I'm getting
just a bit worried.
- I'm dying. I'm dying inside.
I just keep drinking.
- I can't walk in heels.
- I love it.
- I can't walk in heels.
- Can I wear the dress
and wear sneakers?
- It's perfect.
- Huh?
- I wore this dress
with sneakers.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
I don't know
if it looks awkward, though.
- Let's blow
this popsicle stand.
We have to hurry
before everyone leaves.
[groans]
Whew.
Can we start the car up?
It's--
- I'm sweating.
I forgot deodorant.
- Can you put the AC on for D?
Thank you.
Here we go.
How are we on time?
- We're good.
We're at 3:10.
- When's it happening?
- What is the time?
Does anyone have a watch?
♪ ♪
- Can we get this show
on the road, please?
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
- Coming up...
- Patrick Muldoon!
- I met Denise with Lisa Rinna,
and I heard the two of them
were shagging you at
the same time and did not know.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Mom, look how pretty.
- It looks pretty.
It looks like a real wedding.
I can't believe
we pulled this together.
Thanks, baby.
- Oh, oh, oh!
Wedding stuff's happening!
Wedding stuff, wedding stuff.
[clapping]
Yes, it is.
- Oh, (BLEEP), baby.
I'm nervous.
For (BLEEP) sake.
Are you?
- No, I'm not, actually.
- I'm so nervous.
I don't like to be the center
of attention, walking down.
That was one thing
I remember, too,
when I got married to Charlie.
Eloise, come here.
Hold Aaron's hand.
- Hold my hand.
We're gonna go down.
- So I'm relieved
for this wedding
that it will be
a group going down.
This time, it's more about
my marriage to Aaron
and less about the hoopla
around the wedding.
Do I look like a slutty bride?
[laughing]
- No, you don't.
- Things are happening.
- They're coming.
[Pachelbel's "Canon in D"
playing over speakers]
- Oh, here come the girls.
These are her girls.
- Oh, they're walking
down the aisle together.
- Oh, sweet.
- Aww.
[cheers and applause]
- So sweet.
♪ ♪
[heavy rock music playing
over speakers]
♪ ♪
- That's like nothing
I've ever seen.
- Thank God, Denise.
Here she comes down the aisle
to heavy metal music.
- This isn't your typical
here comes the ----ing bride.
- She's so adorable.
- Don't you love this song?
[laughing]
- This song is awesome, I know.
- Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
- All right, here we go.
- Hey, everyone.
Welcome.
On behalf of Aaron and Denise,
they want to send
their heartfelt welcome
for, uh, everybody able
to make this.
A wedding is a time
for--for a joyous occasion
and in memory of loved ones.
And so we want to invite, uh,
Irv up with a candle,
and we're gonna
light this candle
in honor of Denise's mother,
Joni.
- Aww.
- This is for Joni.
- This is the candle
to remember Joni.
Let's bow our heads
in--in honor of this occasion
as we celebrate
this--this life,
this family that's
being formed,
and this blessing.
[helicopter whirring]
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- Is that paparazzi?
- It's a normal
Hollywood situation
to have helicopters
and paparazzi
if you're gonna have
an outdoor wedding in Malibu.
- Today is
the 8th of September,
and as you see, we have
the infinity symbol behind me,
and they're standing
in the infinity symbol.
- That's the photographer
I've known for years.
Oh, honey, this is
going everywhere.
Look on the positive side:
There is paparazzi
and there is a helicopter.
You're still doing well.
If there was no helicopter
and no paparazzi,
uh-oh, time for a job.
- So that kind of fast forwards
to ceremony,
the exchanging of the rings.
This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- With this wing--ring, I...
- [laughing]
- I thee wed.
- And, Denise, this ring I give
token and pledge...
- This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- With--with this ring, I--
- See, you did it, too.
- I know.
[both laughing]
With this ring, I thee wed.
- Aaron and Denise,
in accordance with the laws
of the state of California,
you may seal your vows
with a kiss.
- Aww!
[cheers and applause]
- I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
[all cheering]
- The wedding was beautiful.
It really feels like this fits
Denise's personality.
And to see her
just exuding excitement
and happiness and peace
is such a nice moment
to witness.
[cheerful music]
- What time is it, baby?
- Uh, 4:20.
- Oh, we should go.
- I need to bounce myself.
- What--what do I do?
I feel weird saying good-bye
right now.
- Gorgeous lady.
Hello.
- Maybe if we just duck out?
I think it's okay.
- No, remember,
at somebody's wedding--
- I'll just send her a text.
- Right.
- I want this in magnet size.
- Bye.
Bye, guys.
[indistinct chatter]
- Bye, guys, see you later.
- Bye, guys.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
[all cheering, chattering]
- Hi, hon.
Oh, you look so pretty.
- Hi!
- Thank you.
- I like the dress.
- Me too.
- Popping around
in your romper.
- I've never seen
a romper wedding dress.
That, to me, is like, "Honey,
I'm gonna do it my way."
I bow down.
Denise Richards is a legend.
Yeah, go, girl.
- When you said Charlie
was gonna give you away--
- No, I was joking.
- I wondered if Charlie
would be here.
I thought he would.
- We did invite him.
- You did?
- He was gonna come.
- Okay, I knew you would.
- He wanted to come.
- I knew you would invite him.
- But you saw Patrick?
- Muldoon, shut up!
Patrick Muldoon.
Come here.
Muldoon, I want you to meet
some of my friends.
- Oh!
- I have to tell you,
I met Denise with Lisa Rinna,
and the first story I heard
was that the two of them
were shagging you
at the same time
and did not know.
- Patrick Muldoon.
Oh, my God.
He played my brother on "Days."
I had a little fling with him
at the same time
Denise was having
a little fling with him.
- And you didn't know this?
- And we didn't know it.
- I want to ask you,
who was better?
- Shut up!
Don't you answer that!
[all chattering]
- You are so bad!
- I mean, it was so long ago...
[stammers]
- So long ago.
Only she would ask
that question.
- Only Lisa would ask
that question.
[upbeat music]
- All right.
Look up, Eloise.
♪ ♪
- Thank you for coming.
Yes, I am.
- It was very nice to meet you.
- I already said good-bye
to Ken.
- Okay, I'm heading out, too,
'cause I gotta go take care
of that damn puppy.
- It makes me feel so good
that all the ladies showed up
for our wedding.
And I understand that it was
last minute.
I know that everyone has
a life, and has commitments
and things to do.
Bye, girls.
I'll see you soon.
- Love you, too.
- Lisa?
- Yes?
- You leaving?
- I think--I think he's gone
up there, hasn't he?
- He's gone to the toilet.
Bye, baby.
- Bye.
- Today was really nice
with Lisa, and it's like
everything's behind us.
Denise, my love, I just want
to say good-bye, baby.
- It feels like this
dog situation is finally over.
Lisa's never gonna
admit to it.
I'm okay with it.
I just want to move on.
And then someday,
I can go back to trusting her.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you, Denise.
- Thank you for coming.
- Oh, you're so beautiful,
honey, I'm so happy for you.
- When you're at
somebody's wedding,
you have no choice but
to really get on with it.
I'm not a victim.
I want to be here, and I want
to congratulate Denise.
- Thank you.
- Bye, honey.
Thank you for coming.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
- Have the best time.
And congratulations!
- But I think they should have
come to me
and apologized, really.
And if they don't want
to do that, that's fine.
[mellow, upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Thank you for my new family,
and Sami and Lola for--
and Eloise for accepting Aaron.
- Thank you.
- I am, like, blown away
how the (BLEEP) we were able
to put this together so fast.
I hope our future holds
a life of happiness
and being together forever.
[laughter]
Is it good?
- Delicious.
- I told him, "If things
ever go sideways,
"I'm not divorcing your
----ing ass
and you're not divorcing mine."
- Here's to infinity.
Love you so much, baby.
- I love you so much too.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- Oh, my God, PK.
- What?
- "Stabbed In The Back!
"Lisa 'Extra Hurt'
By Longtime Friend Dorit
Over Abandoned Dog."
- Lisa must know that the truth
is gonna come out.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- PK?
- Yeah?
- I need an hour with you
to go over
some really important
payables.
A lot of things
that are happening
in the next few months,
both business and kids
and family, and I know you've
been traveling a lot.
And I need like a solid hour--
- You've got me, honey,
I'm here.
Can we get on with it now?
Where is my phone?
What did I do with my phone?
- Oh, my God, PK.
- What?
[tense music]
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- There's an article
that just came out.
"Stabbed In The Back!
"Lisa 'Extra Hurt'
By Longtime Friend Dorit
Over Abandoned Dog."
"Lisa Vanderpump
feels betrayed
"by her longtime pal
Dorit Kemsley,
"who adopted a dog
from Vanderpump Pets
"only to drop the animal off
at a local animal shelter
shortly thereafter."
"'Dorit apologized
and told Lisa that she was
"'too ashamed to bring it back
to Lisa, and she did not want
to disappoint her,'
the friend said."
That is so untrue.
It's not nice to have...
- No, it's not nice, honey.
- Stories circulating,
and particularly ones
that can be very damaging
to your reputation,
to our children.
If people think that I
mistreat animals, God forbid.
- God forbid,
but you never would, honey.
You never would.
- I know that!
But people's perception
is what they read, PK,
and what they believe.
Obviously, we know that.
"Lisa was very upset
over this, and still is,
because she has known Dorit
and Paul for a very long time."
"She's not the type of woman
that holds onto grudges
for very long."
Well, there's just about
everybody in the world
that believes otherwise.
"After the chihuahua mix nipped
at one of her children--"
Oh, my God.
The only people that know
it was a chihuahua mix--
because it's a rescue puppy--
was Lisa and her team.
- She's got it wrong.
She's--she's just made
a mistake.
- So you think this is Lisa?
- Well, who else is it?
Unless it's, like,
from the Planet Zod,
or there's some
clairvoyant out there.
- When I had the conversation
with Lisa after we gave Lucy
and I called her the next day,
Lisa's exact words were,
"So she nipped at the kids.
Well, you know,
that can happen."
And I remember
thinking to myself,
"That's not a word
that I've ever used."
- No, "nipped" is
an English word.
- I know that she's got
a relationship
with Radar Online.
This has got Lisa
written all over it.
We just came
from Denise's wedding.
It was like the dog business
was behind us.
She kept saying,
"Come, sit with me."
I mean, the entire time
she wanted me by her side.
- Or maybe, in her mind,
she'd done that,
so she's dealt with it.
I don't know what goes on
in her mind.
- I take two steps forward
and ten back in our friendship.
- I don't know
why she did that.
That article is very,
very below the belt.
- Well--
- She's got some very
overzealous staff
that believe that they're
acting in her best interest.
And this is--
- No way, no way, no way.
Nope, don't believe it
for one second.
Lisa has full control
over her Vanderpuppets.
- Well, you should
have it out with Lisa.
You should say to Lisa,
"Why did you do this?"
- This is a whole other layer
of betrayal.
I do not even know
where to begin
with my friendship
with this woman after this.
You know what, PK?
We'll see if she
gives me a call.
- Lisa must know that
the truth is gonna come out.
[dramatic music]
- Next, on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":
- Hey.
- Hi.
So I'm with Lisa.
So what happened?
- They passed.
all: Yeah!
[women squealing]
- Back that ass up.
Back up.
- Oh, my God!
- Three, four!
- I'm dying.
- The mosquitoes can't get you,
but the bears can.
- The bears can get you?
- Of course they can.
- Well, why would you
do that then?
- Have you ever known her
to leak stuff to the press?
- I mean,
everybody here knows--
- Kyle, answer the question.
Have you ever known her
to leak stuff to the press?
- I'm sorry.
If I did something wrong,
that doesn't mean
you wouldn't love me.
- I am not going to say,
"Yes, I did something"
if I didn't do it.
- I didn't come here to fight.
- Okay.
- I came here to tell you
this is the overall consensus--
- No, you came here
to tell me I am a liar.
- You're not her friend!
- You cannot be her friend when
you say something like that.
She would never say that
about you.
- Get the (BLEEP)
out of my house!
I swear to you,
I'm done with it.
- To learn more
about the housewives,
- Previously, on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":
- All right, well, cheers
to trying to put
a wedding together
in less than a week.
[laughs]
- I know, right?
We're doing it.
- When you met him, was it
like instant attraction?
- Well, he has
a very big penis.
- Oh, my God, stop.
- Okay, then!
- What's the dress vibe
gonna be for your 50th?
- Fabulous at 50!
Happy birthday!
You've been on
this journey with me
through the highs and lows.
- I really feel like
Lisa Vanderpump is going
to try to turn this
all around on me
and not admit what she's done,
and I don't know how
to move on from it.
I feel betrayed by you.
- Okay, well, I feel
betrayed by you, too.
- Oh, 'cause I couldn't
carry out your plan?
Sorry.
- Lisa is going through a lot,
so I just think we should
give her some elasticity.
- How much do I have to take?
A friend doesn't do that
to someone.
[upbeat music]
- In the game of life,
it's Rinna take all.
♪ ♪
- Most people talk
about their fantasies.
I'm living mine.
- In business and in life,
I wear many hats
and hairstyles.
- You can stab me in the back,
but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass.
- I'm not afraid of hard work,
but I'll never
do your dirty work.
- My problem
with the tabloids?
My real life
is so much juicier.
- In Beverly Hills,
the truth always
has a way
of rising to the top.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Tell me you're ready
to get your mind blown.
- Yeah, I'm really excited.
♪ ♪
all: Hello!
- It smells good in here!
- [indistinct]
- Ah!
Nice to see you.
- Hi!
- The gang is all here,
I love it.
- Look at all these creatives.
- All the cool kids.
- All the cool kids.
Okay.
- You guys,
we're going on tour.
As you already know.
- I'm really excited.
Chicago is sold out...
- Yeah!
- So that's super good.
- And we're doing something
that we haven't done before
in the "Pretty Mess" tour.
Many costume changes.
- We're embarking on
a 15-city tour.
This is what we've
always dreamed of.
- The inspiration for this
was something that's
strong and tough.
- But still moody,
because that's what
the first music was about.
It was very clubby.
- Right.
- Mikey and I created
an hour-long show
told in three acts.
New material,
vintage Erika Jayne--
meaning the beginning--
and then new material
at the end.
It's fabulosity.
- So the show starts with,
like, an urban girl,
Barbie, Hello Kitty, pinked,
"Around the Way Girl" fantasy.
- [gasps] Gladiator!
- So it's like a gladiator.
Slit all the way up both sides
so you can squat.
- Having come from, you know,
basements, clubs,
you're changing costumes
in the hallway,
in the bathroom.
- The show is happening!
The stage is wet, baby.
We need towels, now.
- This one time there was,
like, lube on the stage.
Everybody was sliding
all around.
I mean, that sh--'s dangerous,
let's be honest.
Oh, wait, what is this?
- So this--it's actually
a little bit of an homage
to the latex thing
you wore in Berlin.
[tires squealing]
[funky music]
- This is ----ing dope.
It's so good, babe.
- And then blackout,
you magically appear.
- Oh, sh--!
[all laughing]
- A ----ing hood!
- Right?
- Yeah!
I mean, arms covered,
boobs up,
legs out, waist in.
It's not science.
Ass out.
I love this.
I am so blown away.
- I feel like
we should celebrate.
- We should celebrate.
Oh, no way!
Come here, honey, I'll do it.
I'm a professional.
[cork pops]
- Whoo!
- Yes!
- Let me pour you all
some champs.
- Well, "Pretty Mess,"
to selling out.
all: Selling out.
- It's 5:00 somewhere.
[all laugh]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, honey.
- How are you?
- You look so cute.
Look at you.
How are you?
- How are you?
- Good!
Oh, should we go
do some shopping?
- We need to find Denise
a wedding gift.
- I know.
- I'm just telling you that
a shopping excursion with you--
I know I'll be carrying
your bags out to your car.
[laughing]
- I really can't have
this reputation.
♪ ♪
all: Hi!
- Hi, ladies.
So cute in here.
- It's so cute, isn't it?
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- We were just talking
about that.
- We don't have to get one
because we don't even
know her taste.
All I know is that
she likes tequila.
[all laughing]
- Well, Lisa and I
were going to meet her,
and then she showed up
with Aaron.
She was saying, like,
the funniest things.
She kept talking about
the size of Aaron's penis.
both: No!
- Yeah.
- He offers
a very good service.
Aside from his big penis.
[all laughing]
- In front of him!
- Yes!
You guys, no, seriously,
with the way that it was going,
anything could happen
at this wedding.
I'm just warning you.
- What about the fact
that she's planning her wedding
in two days?
- I can't even go because
we have the agency's
seven-year anniversary party.
- Oh, my God.
- And I can't not be there.
I mean, this is like
800 people.
I am so disappointed
I'm gonna miss the wedding
because I'm so curious
what kind of wedding
you can pull off in two days.
Where's the dress?
The food?
The flowers?
The people?
How are you gonna do this?
I can't go,
but I do want pictures.
What's going on
in my head right now
is a disaster.
I can pull off a party
really fast.
A wedding, I don't think
I could do.
♪ ♪
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi!
- I'm Denise.
- Hi, Matthew.
- Matthew, it's so nice
to meet you.
This is so pretty.
- Oh, thank you.
- I love this.
I didn't even know
you guys were back here.
- Oh.
- This is a hidden gem.
- Hey, mama.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
So pretty.
- Isn't this amazing?
- Beautiful.
I'm Mikey, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Matthew.
- Sorry, I thought
you guys had met.
- No, not yet.
- This is the groom.
- Wanna get started?
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
This is, like,
out of a storybook.
This is house is on--
really amazing.
Most people plan a wedding
six months, a year,
two years out, and here we are
a few days before our wedding.
It's so not what you imagine
also in, uh,
Malibu, too, right?
What needs to happen
for us to pull off the wedding,
we need, first of all,
a place to get married.
We need catering.
We need flowers, music,
and a couple other things.
- Usually there's an aisle in
line with that brick pathway,
and then you have chairs
on either side.
Receptions are usually
on the other side.
You can hold more guests there.
- As a little girl, I knew when
I got married that I wanted
to have something, like,
really fancy and beautiful.
We don't know how many guests
will be coming.
- Oh, okay.
- [laughs]
But I've had the big
Hollywood wedding before.
Giorgio Armani flew me
to Italy, designed my dress.
Lots of paparazzi were there.
The wedding was much better
than the marriage.
[laughs]
I love it.
- I love it.
- And it's two minutes
from our house.
- I know, and it's available.
- And this is available.
- Well, when do you want
to get married?
- September 8th.
- September 8th?
- Yeah.
- Wow, that--that's right
around the corner.
- We have two days.
We're gonna set you up
to a challenge.
Do you think you can do this
in two days?
- This is gonna be
a world record.
[all laughing]
- See?
Are we out of our minds?
- Well, we can pull stuff
together fast.
Aaron really wants
to get married
with the number eight
in the date.
- So numerology,
if you add it all up?
It's infinity.
Eight.
- So is that a--
a good luck number?
- What do you think?
Infinity, babe.
- It just so happens
that his divorce was final
two weeks before
September 8th.
Just, like, "(BLEEP) it,
let's just do it."
It's really beautiful
and so magical.
- I love it.
- I do, too.
I think this is a no-brainer.
We'll take it.
- We'll take it.
- Sold.
- Now we gotta make sure we can
get all the other elements
done by then, too.
- Oh, boy.
[funky music]
- If she pulls this off,
it's gonna be a miracle.
- I didn't have a big wedding.
I mean, it was just my family,
but it still took me
six months.
- PK and I were living in LA,
we were getting married
in New York,
and our wedding planner
lived in London, okay?
That was stressful
in and of itself.
So stressful.
I loved my wedding to PK.
It was a Gatsby-themed
roaring '20s.
I wore an Oscar de la Renta
wedding gown.
It was at the Rainbow Room
in New York City.
It was...
one of the best moments
in my life,
and one of the most
beautiful memories.
- So you're--you're gonna
see Lisa at Denise's wedding.
- Here's the thing:
I think it'll be fine
'cause her and I can both
just coexist.
I said my piece already,
so I don't have
anything else to say.
- She might make some jabs,
or she'll ignore you.
I mean, as far as
we're concerned, I don't know.
- It's not fun for me
to be stuck in the middle
of my friendship with Lisa
and my friendship
with the other ladies.
I tried getting Teddi
and Lisa together
to have a conversation so they
could hear each other out
and hopefully make up.
- I was thinking
and wondering--and I don't know
how open you guys are,
you know, going to be to it--
but if you guys would want
to get together to meet--
- Frankly, I've got
no interest
in doing that right now.
Although, thanks anyway.
- Okay.
- I don't have anything else
I need to say to her.
- You tried.
"A" for effort.
- Maybe I'm being selfish,
but it would make my life
a lot easier
if Lisa and Teddi were okay.
And Dorit and Lisa.
Ooh, look at these.
- Like a little four-pack
or something?
- Is this the bucket
that goes with them?
- Oh, that's pretty.
- You know what, girls?
I'm gonna get the tequila,
and you get the stuff
that goes with the tequila.
- Oh, that's a good idea.
- And you guys can just
mail it, right?
- We'll have it
delivered, yeah.
I'll just put it on my card
and you can Venmo me.
- Well, the--the wedding
should be interesting,
that's for sure.
- Yeah, and I'm sure
there won't be any issue
at somebody's wedding.
- Yeah, no one's gonna do that.
Cut to.
- Wait a minute.
- Being thrown in the ocean.
[all laughing]
- Coming up...
- Okay, I need a new kitchen.
I don't mind paying
an extra $300,000 for it.
- $300,000 now?
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- [grunts]
I'm exhausted!
[sighs]
I'm really busy.
That has never changed.
I go to QVC once a month...
You throw it on and you're
five seconds to fabulous.
- 5,500 already ordered.
- Oh, my goodness.
- It's today and today only
at this price.
- My hustle's still going
real strong.
I just ----ing do it,
because you know why?
I support my family.
And the business is huge,
way bigger than
anybody realizes.
[clears throat]
[phone line ringing]
Hello!
- You look so pretty!
Are you in Philadelphia?
- I am.
I'm just here, you know,
selling away.
And I will make it home
for your wedding.
- I'm so excited!
- Thank goodness.
I wouldn't miss it.
Are you kidding?
- Aww, thank you.
- I don't think Denise
is rushing into it,
because I know what Denise
has gone through
and I've seen her struggle.
I would have married Harry
that quick, but he just
wouldn't marry me that fast.
Do you think--
- I just want it
about us and the kids.
If things aren't perfect,
that's okay.
- Ah, Denise,
your attitude is amazing.
[laughs]
- Well, I've gone through
a lot, Lisa.
The--the other wedding
we planned out to a "T,"
and it didn't go so well.
- Harry and I got married
at the house,
and it was perfect.
We were in a circle,
so we were in the middle
and everybody was around us
holding candles.
So the entire wedding
was lit by candlelight.
Like, amazing.
Well, I'm sending...
- Me, too.
- Sending--sending you lots
of good-wedding vibes,
and prayers,
and blessings, and love.
- Thank you so much,
and I'll see you Saturday.
- Okay, honey, love you.
[blows kiss]
- Bye.
[upbeat pop music]
♪ ♪
- You are gonna love it.
- What is it called?
"Cooper Pacific"?
- Hello.
- Hi, Lisa.
- This is my husband, Ken.
- Ken.
- Hi, how are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- How are you?
- Thanks for coming in.
- You're welcome.
So, Ken...
he doesn't think
I need a new kitchen.
- I know you don't need
a new kitchen.
- The units aren't good,
the drawers, the closure--
and also, it's dark.
This is a chicken soup
that I made
in the kitchen that I hate.
- I know you hate it,
but the food comes out
pretty well.
[lid clanks]
Pretty tasty.
- I want it bright,
I want it white,
and this is the kitchen
I really love.
I love these taps.
I love that.
I love this big white sink.
- You're so funny,
you were all sad at home.
And you come here
and you're all happy.
- Because I want this,
and I deserve this,
and I've had a horrible time.
- Just--just depends whether
I can afford happy.
- I think if I've learned
anything as of late,
it's to do
what makes you happy.
Surround yourself
by people and things
that make you happy.
It's depressing
in my kitchen, it's dark.
- Well, let's do something
a little lighter.
- I want, like,
either pink or white.
There is no room
in my life right now
for any negativity.
- I know you're not gonna take
any ownership for your part.
If you can live with yourself
doing this, then go for it.
It's been working for you
for a long time.
- [gasps]
- Okay, I'm fine with that.
It's an investment,
because it's adding
to the value of the house.
It's a little bit more
than 200, one might say.
- It could be up
from that a bit.
- Somebody's gonna
come in the house,
in the unlikely event
that we sell it--
they're gonna say,
"I've got to have this house
"because this kitchen
is so bloody amazing
that I don't mind paying
an extra $300,000 for it."
- $300,000 now.
Three hundred grand's
a bit steep, isn't it?
If I say yes,
will you be really happy
when we leave here?
- Ecstatic.
- Oh, great.
I've got a great night ahead.
- [giggling]
I think sunlight
and white sparkly...
is gonna be good for the soul.
Maybe not so good
for the bank account,
but good for the soul.
- Steven...
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- It's been a pleasure.
- Don't let me down.
- We'll see you soon.
- I love it.
Thanks, Steven.
[funky pop music]
♪ ♪
- So we got the...
- The marriage license.
- The marriage license.
So after the ceremony, um,
you just sign there.
- Right there, that's it.
- Okay.
- That's all you do.
I definitely feel like
the clock is ticking.
Trying to pull
everything together
has been really hectic.
- Do you want, like, a buffet
or a served dinner?
- Probably a buffet
is probably easier.
We need to do a cake.
Let's do a cake.
We want the music
to be who we are,
and not what's traditional.
- Can we get a dunk tank?
- No, we're not gonna have
a little carnival.
My dress is still not
even here at the house,
so I am praying
when my dress shows up tomorrow
that it actually fits.
- Are any of you, like,
exes gonna be there?
- One of my ex-boyfriends
will be there,
but we're very good friends.
- I reached out
to her ex-husband...
- Yeah.
- And, uh, it's--
it's to be determined.
- No matter what's gone down
with Charlie and I,
I invite Charlie to everything
having to do with
the kids and I.
And even if he did bring
a prostitute as his date,
I wouldn't care.
It's just, you know--
it is what it is.
Now, also, for the ceremony,
I wanted to light a candle
in honor of my mom.
Just letting everyone know
that, um...
this is in her memory
and in honor of her,
and that we know that she's
here with us,
and that she'd be very happy.
I was so close to my mom.
My mom had me when she was
17 years old.
We were just best friends.
It was 13 years ago
that she passed away,
and it's still hard, you know?
I went through a lot
these last quite a few years,
and I know she would have
loved Aaron.
She would have been so happy
for me and the girls.
But that's part of life.
Oh, God.
[clicks tongue]
[sniffs]
- That brings us, then,
to the girls.
So is there anything special
you would like me to say
besides, like, a scripture
for the girls?
- I wish we had more time
to go through stuff with them.
- Yeah.
- Because it--it came on
so fast, and we're...
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, I--I feel like
we really kind of did
a little bit of disservice
telling them.
- I waited to tell the girls
two days before the wedding
because I think I was afraid
of my teenage daughters
judging me.
[laughs]
Even though that sounds weird.
We're so excited
you're doing this.
Thank you so much.
All right, baby,
I'm gonna walk him out.
The girls!
Some of you.
- Hey, Lola.
- In hindsight, we should have
told them a while ago
that we were planning
on getting married.
I--I really regret that part.
Is that going with your dress?
I love that.
But it's the norm in Hollywood
to be married more than once,
so Sami and Lola finding out
that I'm getting married
in two days, well...
[clicks tongue]
It's not so abnormal
in our family.
[laughs]
It's our normal.
- Lola.
- Yeah?
- Here's a present.
- Pretty.
It's so pretty.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- The girls definitely
accept Aaron.
They adore him.
Eloise, what did you get?
- Here you go.
How is that?
Is it cute?
Let's see.
Yeah?
- I give Aaron
a lot of credit.
He doesn't have children,
and he has just fit right in
with our family.
And that's--it's challenging,
and I--it says a lot about him,
which made me fall in love
with him even more,
that he's not even fazed
by any of this.
I forgot to tell you, we're--
we have to set everything up.
- What?
- [laughs]
- We're doing it?
- Yeah.
Because it was so last minute,
we have to set it all up.
- Oh, my God.
Are you for real?
- No, I'm joking.
- Holy sh--.
- Did you really think--
- You just about gave me
a heart attack.
I'm like, "Oh, my God."
- You could do it.
- Coming up...
- I'm not having
any drama today.
- Here they are.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I'm so glad
the location is so close.
- I know, it's great.
- It's nice to get ready here.
Well, where is the sunshine?
- It's coming.
- You look like a princess.
- Aww, thank you.
- I used the black, like,
really sticky, but it'll--
if you cry, it's the only one
that was resistant
to, um, saline, which is
salt water for your--
- I'm not gonna cry.
- You might.
What--why are you laughing?
Like, you don't even--
you're like, "Whatevs."
- I have no idea
what the venue looks like.
I don't know
if flowers showed up.
I don't know if there's music.
We didn't do a rehearsal.
I'm actually nervous that
nobody's gonna show up
because this is so last-minute.
I'll take a picture.
- Mom, don't take a photo
of this.
- Oh, wait, that's towards me.
- Mom, stop.
- What?
You look pretty.
Look at your eyeball.
- Mom, stop it.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- Hi, girl.
Do you recognize this?
- Oh, shut up!
[squeals]
No way! Erika!
- Yeah, I did this...
[laughs]
That's why I'm late.
I wanted to put on
my Lisa Rinna jumper.
Hi, Lola!
- I am ---- dying. I'm dying!
Oh, my God!
- I'm going
to someone's wedding,
so I can't really show out.
It's all about Denise,
not about me.
Even though it's black
to a wedding,
don't read too much into it.
You know, it's still chic.
- That look so,
so sassy on you.
- Right?
- ----ing love it.
With those shoes?
Girl!
Erika Jayne has the most
fabulous clothes of anyone.
- Erika Girardi!
Oh, my Lord.
- How's this looking?
- Let's see.
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
- I heard someone called
for a dominatrix.
- And she made an effort
to put on
my poly-span jumpsuit.
It's so--
- No, I know, it's great.
- It's so exciting!
[upbeat pop music]
♪ ♪
- I don't know where
we're supposed to go.
- I think we go down...
- Oh, down there?
I can't believe they pulled
all of this together this fast.
- It's beautiful.
What time's the actual wedding?
4:00?
- No, 2:00.
We have to leave at 4:00.
♪ ♪
Think I'm gonna
skip the lemonade
and go for
a alcoholic beverage.
Can I have
a glass of champagne?
♪ ♪
- How cool is this?
That's so special.
I love that.
I'm excited for my own wedding,
but Denise beat me
to the altar!
I think it's fantastic.
She's been through a lot,
and she deserves happiness.
- I love weddings.
- Me, too.
I love weddings.
- You look gorgeous.
[kisses]
- Oh, Camille, you look
so beautiful.
- Thank you.
- You look gorgeous.
Today's the first time I'm
going to see Lisa Vanderpump,
but I will do my best
to just be cordial
and, you know,
pull it together.
50th birthdays I can ruin,
but weddings?
Come on.
♪ ♪
- Oh, there's my dad.
Dad, here, can...
So, I--I wasn't gonna have you
walk me down the aisle
because I feel like I'm
the oldest bride
in Los Angeles.
- You're not.
- I am.
So I was just gonna
go with the girls and Aaron.
- That's perfect.
- But I want you
to light a candle for Mom.
Are you okay to do that?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- I don't want
to hurt your feelings.
- Nah, don't...
[stammers, laughing]
- My dad and I are so close.
We always have been.
My father came to stay
with the girls and I
when they were little
after my mom passed away.
Charlie was going through
a lot of stuff.
My dad ended up staying
for five years.
- You know, it's already 2:00.
- I know, it starts at 2:00.
- [laughs] You're late
for your own wedding.
- That's okay.
[both laughing]
- Yeah, they can't start
without you, right?
- I have to go get dressed.
♪ ♪
- So, congratulations, Denise.
- Right?
So I don't really know
what to expect.
- I know Kyle's not coming.
- She's not?
- She's at the agency party
with 400 people at her house.
- Oh, sh--, I didn't know that.
- Teddi's coming
for a brief moment.
She had planned
a birthday party
months in advance.
I've gotta leave at 4:00.
- How about LVP?
Will she come?
- Don't know.
I haven't talked to Lisa.
Kyle told me that
she went to dinner
with Denise and Aaron
and, um, Vanderpump,
and Denise had had
a cocktail or two.
And then she kind of talked
about Aaron's--
the size of Aaron's penis,
but in a good way.
- So Vanderpump must have been
frothing at the mouth.
- That's what I said.
I said, "She must have
loved that."
But they had
a really nice time.
And nobody talked about
dog drama, so that's good.
- That's a plus.
- Right?
- That dog is fine.
Move on.
It's Denise's wedding,
and no one should do one thing.
Everyone should be
on their very best behavior.
I'd be happy if we never
talked about that again,
but I know that
that's just a pipe dream.
♪ ♪
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- This is gonna be
a celebratory day.
By the way, I have no idea what
drama is going on right now.
- I'm not having
any drama today.
- Thank you.
- Watch your step.
- Now where do we go?
- Down to the water.
- Oh, how sweet.
Isn't it?
- Oh, you're sweating?
Why don't you take
your jacket off?
[indistinct chatter]
- Perfect.
- I'm not thrilled
to see the other women,
and after Camille's birthday
I hope that there's
not a repeat
of the kind of
intense animosity
that transpired there.
- There he is.
Here they are.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- What time's the ceremony?
- It's supposed to be 2:00.
- I'm so late.
- It's hot as (BLEEP) out here.
I'm hot and I'm mad.
When's it happening?
- Here they are.
- Perfect.
- Hi, how are you?
- Haven't spoke in forever.
- I know right.
both: Hi.
- Hi.
Good to see you.
- How are you?
- Are you here to take notes?
- Hello, yes.
- We're studying.
- Hi!
Look at how wonderful
everybody looks.
- My breasts got bigger
on the way in.
- Your breasts look enormous.
- When I left the house,
they were much smaller.
- I don't think an apology is
anywhere in the near future.
If Vanderpump wants to joke
about her boobs
and pretend that all is well,
it's perfectly okay with me.
- Ken, stop looking
at my chest.
You're not getting
any of that later.
- You haven't exactly
put them away.
- But what about yours?
Come on.
- She loves an apology,
but she ain't dishing 'em out.
- Stare at hers.
They--they're ones
you haven't seen before.
- No, he's just
so not interested.
♪ ♪
- Hey, hey, hey.
- How are you?
Thank you so much for coming.
- Yeah.
- Aaron's in the shower.
I'm so late.
Baby?
- Yeah?
- Hi, honey.
- We good?
- Yeah--oh, yeah, come on in.
- Okay.
- We're gonna put my dress on.
- All right.
- And they brought me
a sketch of it.
This is stunning.
I love this.
We have to frame it and hang it
in our room or something.
You know, I didn't want to do
the big traditional ball gown
because it is
my second wedding.
I showed Mark pictures
of what I envisioned
the dress to be like,
and I don't know how
but he was able
to come up with it so quick
and so fast.
It is beachy, it's who I am.
- Oh, I'm not supposed
to see you.
Sorry.
- You already saw it.
- Sorry.
- [laughs]
[stirring music]
- I love it.
Oh, this is so pretty.
I love it.
Oh, you added this.
- Yeah, 'cause I was--
it was habit.
So there's a little--
a little bit here and there.
- This is stunning, I love it.
♪ ♪
- Hi, Teddi.
Nice to meet you.
- This is Rebecca.
- Edwin, nice to meet you.
- Teddi, nice to meet you.
You look beautiful.
- Baby, look who it is.
- Thank you.
Oh, God.
How are you, Dorit?
Jerry.
- Of course.
- It's great to see you.
- Well, I do remember.
We did spend a couple--
- No, I know.
Just in case--a lot of people
think I'm Jason Bateman,
so I just say--I say "Jerry."
- Hi, gang.
- Hey, beautiful.
- How's everybody?
- I love this black jumpsuit.
- I saw you come down.
I was like, "Thank God Rebecca
did the same thing!
She doesn't think
it's a funeral."
- Who just grabbed my ass?
Oh!
- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- I'm really good.
Hi, honey, how are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Here's the thing:
I don't have a beef
with Vanderpump right now,
so I'm not surprised
that she would come up
and pinch my butt.
She can't help
but touch me, grab me,
want a piece of me.
She's slightly obsessed
with me.
Just slightly.
- What time's the ceremony?
- It's supposed to be 2:00.
- Oh.
- Is it?
- It was supposed to be.
I mean, I feel like we were
half an hour late for that.
- Uh-oh.
Denise is late
to her own wedding,
and it's on Teddi's radar.
- If somebody says 4:00,
it's 4:00.
I sat there for one hour.
- Don't be ridiculous, Teddi.
Denise, you'd better get here,
otherwise the
punctuality police
is gonna ticket you.
- Can you get
some lotion for me?
- I don't know
where it would be.
I don't know if we have lotion.
- I have lotion.
- Oh, can you grab some lotion?
Thank you.
- Wait, Mom?
- Yeah?
- Do you have any more heels?
I can't really walk in these.
- No, I have no other heels.
- Oh, Sami, you look amazing.
- You're gonna have to learn
how to walk in them
in two seconds.
- I can't, my ankles are like--
- I know.
They're, uh,
Christian Louboutin.
You gotta figure it out.
- Can I wear sneakers?
- Yeah, wear your sneakers.
I don't give a sh--.
Yes.
- [laughs]
- Come on.
[testy music]
- I thought it was supposed
to start at two.
- Maybe she's not
left home yet.
[both laugh]
I mean, I can't really
blame Denise for being late
if what she says about
Aaron's manhood is true.
I mean, it's a wonder that
she ever gets out of bed.
- They want us to sit.
- Well...
- Ken? Ken?
Save me a place.
- Okay, baby.
♪ ♪
- Am I sweating
through my clothes?
- I am.
It's hot as (BLEEP) out here.
I'm hot and I'm mad.
I'm "les mis."
My hair is on fire,
I'm sweating,
this poly-span jumper
is gonna combust.
I do wanna say
this poly does not breathe!
- And she's in full-on
polyester, honey.
- I feel like
I'm getting burned.
I'm getting
just a bit worried.
- I'm dying. I'm dying inside.
I just keep drinking.
- I can't walk in heels.
- I love it.
- I can't walk in heels.
- Can I wear the dress
and wear sneakers?
- It's perfect.
- Huh?
- I wore this dress
with sneakers.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
I don't know
if it looks awkward, though.
- Let's blow
this popsicle stand.
We have to hurry
before everyone leaves.
[groans]
Whew.
Can we start the car up?
It's--
- I'm sweating.
I forgot deodorant.
- Can you put the AC on for D?
Thank you.
Here we go.
How are we on time?
- We're good.
We're at 3:10.
- When's it happening?
- What is the time?
Does anyone have a watch?
♪ ♪
- Can we get this show
on the road, please?
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
- Coming up...
- Patrick Muldoon!
- I met Denise with Lisa Rinna,
and I heard the two of them
were shagging you at
the same time and did not know.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Mom, look how pretty.
- It looks pretty.
It looks like a real wedding.
I can't believe
we pulled this together.
Thanks, baby.
- Oh, oh, oh!
Wedding stuff's happening!
Wedding stuff, wedding stuff.
[clapping]
Yes, it is.
- Oh, (BLEEP), baby.
I'm nervous.
For (BLEEP) sake.
Are you?
- No, I'm not, actually.
- I'm so nervous.
I don't like to be the center
of attention, walking down.
That was one thing
I remember, too,
when I got married to Charlie.
Eloise, come here.
Hold Aaron's hand.
- Hold my hand.
We're gonna go down.
- So I'm relieved
for this wedding
that it will be
a group going down.
This time, it's more about
my marriage to Aaron
and less about the hoopla
around the wedding.
Do I look like a slutty bride?
[laughing]
- No, you don't.
- Things are happening.
- They're coming.
[Pachelbel's "Canon in D"
playing over speakers]
- Oh, here come the girls.
These are her girls.
- Oh, they're walking
down the aisle together.
- Oh, sweet.
- Aww.
[cheers and applause]
- So sweet.
♪ ♪
[heavy rock music playing
over speakers]
♪ ♪
- That's like nothing
I've ever seen.
- Thank God, Denise.
Here she comes down the aisle
to heavy metal music.
- This isn't your typical
here comes the ----ing bride.
- She's so adorable.
- Don't you love this song?
[laughing]
- This song is awesome, I know.
- Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
- All right, here we go.
- Hey, everyone.
Welcome.
On behalf of Aaron and Denise,
they want to send
their heartfelt welcome
for, uh, everybody able
to make this.
A wedding is a time
for--for a joyous occasion
and in memory of loved ones.
And so we want to invite, uh,
Irv up with a candle,
and we're gonna
light this candle
in honor of Denise's mother,
Joni.
- Aww.
- This is for Joni.
- This is the candle
to remember Joni.
Let's bow our heads
in--in honor of this occasion
as we celebrate
this--this life,
this family that's
being formed,
and this blessing.
[helicopter whirring]
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- Is that paparazzi?
- It's a normal
Hollywood situation
to have helicopters
and paparazzi
if you're gonna have
an outdoor wedding in Malibu.
- Today is
the 8th of September,
and as you see, we have
the infinity symbol behind me,
and they're standing
in the infinity symbol.
- That's the photographer
I've known for years.
Oh, honey, this is
going everywhere.
Look on the positive side:
There is paparazzi
and there is a helicopter.
You're still doing well.
If there was no helicopter
and no paparazzi,
uh-oh, time for a job.
- So that kind of fast forwards
to ceremony,
the exchanging of the rings.
This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- With this wing--ring, I...
- [laughing]
- I thee wed.
- And, Denise, this ring I give
token and pledge...
- This ring I give
in token and pledge...
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- As a sign of my love
and devotion.
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- With--with this ring, I--
- See, you did it, too.
- I know.
[both laughing]
With this ring, I thee wed.
- Aaron and Denise,
in accordance with the laws
of the state of California,
you may seal your vows
with a kiss.
- Aww!
[cheers and applause]
- I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
[all cheering]
- The wedding was beautiful.
It really feels like this fits
Denise's personality.
And to see her
just exuding excitement
and happiness and peace
is such a nice moment
to witness.
[cheerful music]
- What time is it, baby?
- Uh, 4:20.
- Oh, we should go.
- I need to bounce myself.
- What--what do I do?
I feel weird saying good-bye
right now.
- Gorgeous lady.
Hello.
- Maybe if we just duck out?
I think it's okay.
- No, remember,
at somebody's wedding--
- I'll just send her a text.
- Right.
- I want this in magnet size.
- Bye.
Bye, guys.
[indistinct chatter]
- Bye, guys, see you later.
- Bye, guys.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
[all cheering, chattering]
- Hi, hon.
Oh, you look so pretty.
- Hi!
- Thank you.
- I like the dress.
- Me too.
- Popping around
in your romper.
- I've never seen
a romper wedding dress.
That, to me, is like, "Honey,
I'm gonna do it my way."
I bow down.
Denise Richards is a legend.
Yeah, go, girl.
- When you said Charlie
was gonna give you away--
- No, I was joking.
- I wondered if Charlie
would be here.
I thought he would.
- We did invite him.
- You did?
- He was gonna come.
- Okay, I knew you would.
- He wanted to come.
- I knew you would invite him.
- But you saw Patrick?
- Muldoon, shut up!
Patrick Muldoon.
Come here.
Muldoon, I want you to meet
some of my friends.
- Oh!
- I have to tell you,
I met Denise with Lisa Rinna,
and the first story I heard
was that the two of them
were shagging you
at the same time
and did not know.
- Patrick Muldoon.
Oh, my God.
He played my brother on "Days."
I had a little fling with him
at the same time
Denise was having
a little fling with him.
- And you didn't know this?
- And we didn't know it.
- I want to ask you,
who was better?
- Shut up!
Don't you answer that!
[all chattering]
- You are so bad!
- I mean, it was so long ago...
[stammers]
- So long ago.
Only she would ask
that question.
- Only Lisa would ask
that question.
[upbeat music]
- All right.
Look up, Eloise.
♪ ♪
- Thank you for coming.
Yes, I am.
- It was very nice to meet you.
- I already said good-bye
to Ken.
- Okay, I'm heading out, too,
'cause I gotta go take care
of that damn puppy.
- It makes me feel so good
that all the ladies showed up
for our wedding.
And I understand that it was
last minute.
I know that everyone has
a life, and has commitments
and things to do.
Bye, girls.
I'll see you soon.
- Love you, too.
- Lisa?
- Yes?
- You leaving?
- I think--I think he's gone
up there, hasn't he?
- He's gone to the toilet.
Bye, baby.
- Bye.
- Today was really nice
with Lisa, and it's like
everything's behind us.
Denise, my love, I just want
to say good-bye, baby.
- It feels like this
dog situation is finally over.
Lisa's never gonna
admit to it.
I'm okay with it.
I just want to move on.
And then someday,
I can go back to trusting her.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you, Denise.
- Thank you for coming.
- Oh, you're so beautiful,
honey, I'm so happy for you.
- When you're at
somebody's wedding,
you have no choice but
to really get on with it.
I'm not a victim.
I want to be here, and I want
to congratulate Denise.
- Thank you.
- Bye, honey.
Thank you for coming.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
- Have the best time.
And congratulations!
- But I think they should have
come to me
and apologized, really.
And if they don't want
to do that, that's fine.
[mellow, upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Thank you for my new family,
and Sami and Lola for--
and Eloise for accepting Aaron.
- Thank you.
- I am, like, blown away
how the (BLEEP) we were able
to put this together so fast.
I hope our future holds
a life of happiness
and being together forever.
[laughter]
Is it good?
- Delicious.
- I told him, "If things
ever go sideways,
"I'm not divorcing your
----ing ass
and you're not divorcing mine."
- Here's to infinity.
Love you so much, baby.
- I love you so much too.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- Oh, my God, PK.
- What?
- "Stabbed In The Back!
"Lisa 'Extra Hurt'
By Longtime Friend Dorit
Over Abandoned Dog."
- Lisa must know that the truth
is gonna come out.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- PK?
- Yeah?
- I need an hour with you
to go over
some really important
payables.
A lot of things
that are happening
in the next few months,
both business and kids
and family, and I know you've
been traveling a lot.
And I need like a solid hour--
- You've got me, honey,
I'm here.
Can we get on with it now?
Where is my phone?
What did I do with my phone?
- Oh, my God, PK.
- What?
[tense music]
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- There's an article
that just came out.
"Stabbed In The Back!
"Lisa 'Extra Hurt'
By Longtime Friend Dorit
Over Abandoned Dog."
"Lisa Vanderpump
feels betrayed
"by her longtime pal
Dorit Kemsley,
"who adopted a dog
from Vanderpump Pets
"only to drop the animal off
at a local animal shelter
shortly thereafter."
"'Dorit apologized
and told Lisa that she was
"'too ashamed to bring it back
to Lisa, and she did not want
to disappoint her,'
the friend said."
That is so untrue.
It's not nice to have...
- No, it's not nice, honey.
- Stories circulating,
and particularly ones
that can be very damaging
to your reputation,
to our children.
If people think that I
mistreat animals, God forbid.
- God forbid,
but you never would, honey.
You never would.
- I know that!
But people's perception
is what they read, PK,
and what they believe.
Obviously, we know that.
"Lisa was very upset
over this, and still is,
because she has known Dorit
and Paul for a very long time."
"She's not the type of woman
that holds onto grudges
for very long."
Well, there's just about
everybody in the world
that believes otherwise.
"After the chihuahua mix nipped
at one of her children--"
Oh, my God.
The only people that know
it was a chihuahua mix--
because it's a rescue puppy--
was Lisa and her team.
- She's got it wrong.
She's--she's just made
a mistake.
- So you think this is Lisa?
- Well, who else is it?
Unless it's, like,
from the Planet Zod,
or there's some
clairvoyant out there.
- When I had the conversation
with Lisa after we gave Lucy
and I called her the next day,
Lisa's exact words were,
"So she nipped at the kids.
Well, you know,
that can happen."
And I remember
thinking to myself,
"That's not a word
that I've ever used."
- No, "nipped" is
an English word.
- I know that she's got
a relationship
with Radar Online.
This has got Lisa
written all over it.
We just came
from Denise's wedding.
It was like the dog business
was behind us.
She kept saying,
"Come, sit with me."
I mean, the entire time
she wanted me by her side.
- Or maybe, in her mind,
she'd done that,
so she's dealt with it.
I don't know what goes on
in her mind.
- I take two steps forward
and ten back in our friendship.
- I don't know
why she did that.
That article is very,
very below the belt.
- Well--
- She's got some very
overzealous staff
that believe that they're
acting in her best interest.
And this is--
- No way, no way, no way.
Nope, don't believe it
for one second.
Lisa has full control
over her Vanderpuppets.
- Well, you should
have it out with Lisa.
You should say to Lisa,
"Why did you do this?"
- This is a whole other layer
of betrayal.
I do not even know
where to begin
with my friendship
with this woman after this.
You know what, PK?
We'll see if she
gives me a call.
- Lisa must know that
the truth is gonna come out.
[dramatic music]
- Next, on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":
- Hey.
- Hi.
So I'm with Lisa.
So what happened?
- They passed.
all: Yeah!
[women squealing]
- Back that ass up.
Back up.
- Oh, my God!
- Three, four!
- I'm dying.
- The mosquitoes can't get you,
but the bears can.
- The bears can get you?
- Of course they can.
- Well, why would you
do that then?
- Have you ever known her
to leak stuff to the press?
- I mean,
everybody here knows--
- Kyle, answer the question.
Have you ever known her
to leak stuff to the press?
- I'm sorry.
If I did something wrong,
that doesn't mean
you wouldn't love me.
- I am not going to say,
"Yes, I did something"
if I didn't do it.
- I didn't come here to fight.
- Okay.
- I came here to tell you
this is the overall consensus--
- No, you came here
to tell me I am a liar.
- You're not her friend!
- You cannot be her friend when
you say something like that.
She would never say that
about you.
- Get the (BLEEP)
out of my house!
I swear to you,
I'm done with it.
- To learn more
about the housewives,