The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 7, Episode 4 - Pantygate - full transcript

- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills..."

- Can I welcome you
to Dorit's Buddha lounge?

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

- I can't find my husband.
Have you seen him anywhere?

- Yeah. I saw him,
he was in the corner

with his head
up somebody's skirt.

- So you're going to be here
by yourself in New York City.

What do you have planned?

- We're gonna get
a couple tattoos.

- Oh, my God!
- And then we'll drink.

- What?



- Do you want to be on my show?
- F... yeah,

I want to be on your show! Are
you serious?

- I am, yes.
- Oh, my God!

- We cast Alicia Silverstone.

- Oh.
- And what show is this?

- It's a scripted show
that I'm producing...

- Oh, amazing.

- Inspired by my life
from growing up in the '70s.

- I'm a little worried with
the cap, huh, boo-boo girl?

- My darling little Phoenix
needs to wear a headband,

because she favored one side
when she would sleep.

It started to flatten
out her skull.

- You love your mommy,
don't you?

You love your mama.



- Erica, I will need
some underwear.

- I don't have any.

- Oh, oh! [laughs]

- PK could not stop staring at
Erica's hoo-ha.

- What am I supposed to say?
- What do you mean?

- Close your legs, darling,
I don't like the view?

- Well, you are a man.

[upbeat music]

- The crown is heavy, darlings.

So just leave it
where it belongs.

♪ ♪

- I may be two people,

but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you:

don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil,

but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've traveled
the world,

you can speak in
any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury

and I can always spot a fake.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Whatcha doing?

- I'm in our costume archive.

- This is where the money is.

- I mean, we have the famous
"How Many" skirt.

- Still love.

- This sparkle alone,
more than a bitch's house.

- Boom.

♪ ♪

- Are you ready?
One, two, three, four.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Nice!
- Yeah!

♪ ♪

- Jagger, come
help mommy choose your clothes.

Ooh! These pants are stuck.

I think they're
plastered to Jagger.

Uh, whoa!
You're a little gymnast.

♪ ♪

- Hello. How are you?

- I'm doing very well.
Welcome back, glad to have you.

- Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

- We have
the presidential suite,

as usual, set up for you.

- I am doing QVC
in Pennsylvania.

I've been coming for five years.

Here we are.
Home away from home.

- I have it dialed in.

♪ ♪

[sighs] Okay.

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hey, there.

I'm so glad I caught you.

- Hey. How are you?

- I'm good. I'm on my way
to "Young and the Restless,"

and I'm just, you know,
I'm just here.

I'm just nervous, you know?

- Well, you should be
a little nervous.

You know, obviously, it's a big
deal.

I don't think those guys are
asking you to come over there

because they want to waste time.

- I don't know. We'll see.
I actually moved to Hollywood

20-something years ago

because I knew that the world
was gonna open up for me.

I went on auditions
for dance parts, acting parts.

- I'm really,
really proud of you.

That's really cool.

- Isn't that cool?

Well, you know,
I'm not a professional actress.

- I forget that everyone
else's life

is just going on like normal.

I really don't mean
to interrupt.

I'm a showgirl. I put on shows.

I've been doing it
since I was little.

- I love you.
- Okay. I love you back.

- I'll call you when
I'm done, okay?

- Please do.
- Okay, bye-bye.

- People hit their strides
at different times in life.

I hate so much when people
give you a shelf life.

It's like, you know, "Oh, if you
don't do it by X, you're done."

Says who?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you?

- Good, how are you?
- Good.

- Lisa's at the bar for you.

- She is.
Drinking already? Lisa.

- Darling.
- Hello, how are you?

- Why are you laughing?
What's so funny?

- No, because they said,
"She's at the bar."

I said, "Drinking already?"

- Anything wrong with that?
- No, nothing.

Can I have whatever
sparkling water you have

with lots of lemons?

- Okay, leave that here.

I'm gonna have a cup of tea.
- A cup of tea?

- I thought you were meeting me
for a drink.

- Like, you're always trying
to be like me, so stop.

- Hey, just because
Lisa wants to drink

in the day
doesn't mean I have to.

- Oh, pretty.
I love that with the pink face.

- Thank you. Yeah, my husband
bought it for me.

See, he does some good,
sometimes.

- He does a lot of good
all the time.

- I know. I know, right?

- Yeah.
- Well, he's doing so much

for this dog shelter
and everything.

He's been so wonderful.
- I know.

- Anyway, so what's happened is,

remember when we did the March,
the Yulin March?

- Right.

[together] Stop Yulin forever.
Stop Yulin forever.

- So now, West Hollywood have
passed their own resolution

to support my fight
against Yulin.

It's gonna make
a difference, Kyle.

- That's amazing, right...

- I've shed so many tears over
it; you have no idea.

- To be able to make
such a difference like that?

- But we need
to make it political.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- To put the pressure on China.

And that's what we're doing.

- I am so ambitious in trying to
stop

the Yulin dog meat festival,

because that's
about dog torture.

And I want it to be
my life's work

that we're gonna stop this.

Okay, so what else is happening?

Oh, so listen, have you got
underwear on today?

- Oh.
- But you took them off in

the middle of the evening,
in case you forgot.

- Dorit told me to.

It's showing through,
so I'm like...

- So why don't you take it off?

- Oh, so you do everything
Dorit tells you?

- Yeah, they were showing
through.

- I know, but Erika,
she flashed her cucamonga.

- I thought it was underwear
until she said

she wasn't wearing any.
- I saw what Mr. Giradi's

been munching on
for the last 20 years.

[laughs]

Listen, so she flashed it.

But apparently, PK said that
he could see it all the time.

- Dorit told me.

I think that Dorit is a little
bit annoyed

about what happened.

- He said to my husband, "You
were sitting across from me."

He says, "No, Dorit,
it was uncomfortable."

I don't know how you can sit
in front of someone's husband

with no underwear on
and your legs slightly ajar.

- And she's not quite ready
to let it go.

- And Ken was really pissed off.

He thought that PK should've
switched places with him.

- She had no idea,
because I saw her,

I thought she was trying
to cover her underwear.

- So you could see it as well?

- I saw what I thought
was underwear.

But then I realized it wasn't.
- That is too funny.

She [inaudible].

- I think most people,
you know, in tight,

form-fitting dresses,
they will would go

without underwear, but...
- They do?

I like my knickers.
- Oh, my God.

But yours come down
to your knee.

That would be horrible.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, I hate these steps. Jesus.

♪ ♪

- In my home growing up,
soap operas were a big deal.

So this is kind of, "Oh sh..."

- Hi.
- Hey, baby.

- Look at you,
all dressed up and fabulous.

- Well, I, listen,
I'm coming to see you, mama.

- Hi.
- How are you, honey?

- Mmm.
- You smell good.

- Oh, thank you.
- What is that?

- I got it in Dubai last year.

- Well, something good came
of that trip. I'm just kidding.

- Ba-dum-bum.
So are you excited?

- I'm nervous, 'cause I don't
want to let you down.

- Oh, you're so sweet.
- Thank you.

- Do you know what? Mal is our
new executive producer.

He is fantastic.
You're gonna love him.

- This is CBS Studios,
"Young and the Restless."

This is one of the most
iconic soap operas.

This is the real deal.

- Hey.
- Hello, there.

- Hey.
- Hi, sweetie.

- How are you?
- How are you?

- I'm very good, thank you.

- This is my friend
Erika Girardi.

- Hi. Erika.
- Oh, hi, how are you?

- Mmm, I love kisses.

- We... we do it twice,
from Europe.

- Fine.
- Two kisses, all right?

- Let's do it three times.

- You get two for
the price of one.

- I love it.

- This is your first time
here, isn't it?

- No, I visited
Eileen last year.

Look at those mean
stares she gives.

I'm kind of impressed.

- This is really neat.
- Well, come back.

- I'd love to.

- And maybe I'll get you
a part too.

- Oh, my God, please.
- And that's what gave us

the idea, 'cause she's...

She was a big
"All My Children" fan.

She was named after Erika Kane,
Susan Lucci.

- Oh, okay, okay, got it.
- Loosely.

- Loosely. Loosely.
And she's a performer.

She sings and dances.

- Have you acted?
- Yeah, but not recently.

- Right?
- Yeah, no. Like, years ago.

- What kind of role do
you think you'd play?

What kind of person are you?

- I wanted to do something,
first off, that's achievable.

That, you know, I don't want
to embarrass anyone.

- Are you girl next door,
or are you a bitch?

- Uh, clearly not.

- 'Cause that...
- Clearly not!

- In soap world, everyone falls
into type. It's...

- Well, I don't think
I'm the girl next door.

- Right.
- Maybe the hooker next door.

I'm just kidding.

- That's good, well there,
you see?

- Is that okay?
- That's a story, see?

And you think maybe you two
together in a scene?

- I would love that.

I mean, personally, I think
it would be so much fun.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Erika could be a high-powered
executive out to get my job.

- How are you at learning lines?

'Cause this place is fast.

- I mean, I think
I can make it work.

- I don't want to
single-handedly sink "Y&R."

Could you imagine?

We went off the air
after all these years

'cause Eileen's friend came
and f... ed it up.

- I think we should try
something out.

- I'm excited.
- Cool.

- Nice to see you.
- I'll be talking to you soon.

- All right. Thanks, darling.

- Bye-bye.
- Thank you.

- See you, Eileen. Bye.

See you, darling.

- Well, that was cool.
- I know, right?

- Coming up...

- Oh, these are beautiful.
- Aren't they?

We've all seen your pretty
little puss now.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, girls.
- Hello.

- I love seeing you, but I hope

I never see you
again after today.

- Today is an exciting day.

- Yes, it's so exciting.

- It's been very, very
difficult watching Phoenix

have this headband.

Even though she's been okay,

I can't wait for that thing
to be off of her head

and see that beautiful skull.

- Daddy can't wait to see that
off you,

see your beautiful face.

- It is indescribable
what a mother goes through

when you see your
child not well.

- Wow.
- Ooh.

- Wow, look
at how gorgeous you look.

- Hi, sweetie.

I am so nervous waiting
to find the results

of Phoenix's scans.

- All right, time
for some pictures.

- Okay, let's do it.
- If you guys will follow me,

we'll go take some
quick pictures,

and we'll be all done. - Okay.

- Thank you.

- I'm so hoping
that things have gotten better

and that we are getting closer
to having this thing off.

- [makes popping noise]

Phoenix, hi.

Good job, babe.

- I've got her pictures.

- Ohh.

- What's the one on the left?

- This is the before,
so this is the consult image,

where we came in and...

- That's the original time,
the first time we came in?

- The very original.

You can see we got a good amount
of volume shift down.

She's looking longer
from the back of the ear

to the back of the head.

At this point, it would start
to restrict her growth.

So don't put it back
on her head. She's done.

- It's gone, it's gone.
- And that's it.

- She's done, officially.
- Officially.

- Yay.

- I can look at this
perfectly round skull of hers,

and I get to keep her head
close to me,

and cuddle her without
this plastic thing on her head.

It's the greatest,
greatest gift ever.

- Daddy's very proud of you.
- And you're so darn cute.

- Very, very.
- Let me take you, babes.

- And let's go.
- Okay, let's go.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hey, Lisa, how are you?

So, you'll be
in green room C tonight.

- Jane!
- Oh!

Look how cute I am...
- Oh, my gosh!

- In your clothes.
- Oh!

- Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited.
- You look so great.

[laughter]

I started working for QVC
through the death of my stores.

It was in the recession.

We couldn't afford to live
and have the store.

It had to be one or the other.

We have more gray than anything.

- What do you think, Jane,
should we put the red

or the blue,
or the bronze up front?

Yeah, I think either the blue or
the bronze maybe up front.

- Okay.

- And then we'll just keep
switching.

- Yes, we will.
- And then if you switch out,

then we'll bring
the gray up front.

- Yeah.
- This time on QVC,

I have a Today Special value,

which means you sell
in a 24-hour period.

- 30 seconds.
- It's so exciting, isn't it?

Oh, I'm so excited.

These Today Special
Value days, it's so long,

and there's so much to sell.

But you're running
on adrenaline.

- Lisa is with us today on QVC,

and she's kicking off
QVC Day of Stars,

'cause she is our star.

- If you could take your family
of four to the movies,

it would cost more than this
sweater.

- Oh, it would.
- Are we ready?

- 1:10.
- [inaudible].

I will go on air
eight different times.

So my hustle has just begun.

- So 5,500 already ordered.
- Oh, my goodness.

- It's today and today only
at this price.

- Do we have all
the colors out here?

- You don't get to sleep much.
You get, like, an hour of sleep,

two hours,
three hours at the most.

- Okay, guys, here comes Lisa.
- Okay, watch for...

Oh, yeah. - Yeah, look at that.

- Mm-hmm, right?
- Yeah.

- Okay, Jackie, your turn.

Like, look at how this moves.

- I'm really tired.

It's exhausting.

- I'd like to challenge you

to see if you have this
in your closet.

Not even Harry Hamlin
had a duster.

[laughter]

My manufacturer who does
my line said to me,

"Tell Harry he never has
to work again

a day in his life
if he doesn't want to."

- It's the stretchiest, coziest.
It's like a hug.

- That's my dream, to afford
Harry to only take a job

that he's passionate about
and wants to do.

Because for years, he took jobs
to support our family.

- We've had nearly
7,000 ordered.

- Oh!

So for me to be able
to give this gift back to him,

there's nothing better.

Let's try a new color.
- Yes, let's try a new color.

- Let's try to color me.
- All right, new color's

coming up in 30 seconds.
Don't go away.

- Don't go away.
- Whoo!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Whew. Mm.

Oh. I got to get up,
or I'm gonna go to sleep.

Oh.

Oh, God. Okay.

Oh, jeez Louise.

[line trilling]

- Hello.
- Hi.

- How's it going?
- Oh, my gosh, I'm delirious.

- I'll bet you are.
- Okay, you know,

I'm selling this duster.

- So you're selling a sweater
in the middle of summer?

Isn't there a heat wave all
across the country right now?

- Yes.

- Do you think you're
gonna hit your goal?

- I'm halfway there.

So I think we have
a really good shot.

- Well, it's a cool sweater.

It's one of those sweaters,
you put it on

and all of a sudden
you get really cool.

And... and you look cool, and you
feel cool, so you are cool.

- Would you like a job at QVC?

- He knows the game.

I've taught him the game well,
so he can say it back to me

when I need to hear it.

- Have you talked to the girls?

- I haven't talked
to them today, no.

But I texted them last night,
a lot,

and then tracked them, you know?

- Were they home?
Were they in the hotel?

- Yes, they were.
- They were?

Harry's in Canada,

and the girls are in
New York City by themselves.

I track my daughters
for many reasons.

I don't trust them. [laughs]

You can't trust a teenager,
are you kidding?

All right, I love you.
I'm gonna go take a nap.

- Love you.
- And I will fill you in later,

but I love you.

- I love you too.
See you tomorrow.

- Okay, bye. Love.

♪ ♪

- Hi, Bambi.

Are you waiting for...
With that ball in your mouth?

Hi, guys, hello!

- Hi!
- Hey, how are you?

- Hey, how'd it go?
- Oh, my God.

It was really fun. - Yeah.

- Just calling to fill
Mo in on everything.

I need to get a new phone,
by the way.

- Okay.
- Will you remind me?

- Mm-hmm.
- We've got to order it today.

Like, this is not working well.

- Okay.
- And I cannot have it breaking

right now.

I have too much to deal with.

- You want a smaller one,
too, right?

- Yeah, I think
I want to go back.

The only thing is, now,

when they're sending me
these casting sessions.

- To watch them,
it's nice on the big.

- Exactly.

- So what should we do?
- I think I need to go back

to the small phone,
and then do, like,

the little mini iPad
or something like that.

- Okay.
- [inaudible].

What's going on with you?

- I just got back
from the callback session.

- Oh, cool, and?

- It's really,
really interesting and strange,

because these people
are coming in,

and they're, like, playing
my mom's friends.

And it's very surreal.

- It sounds like a great
experience, and so much fun.

And this project
is going to be amazing.

- And then some little girls
were coming in,

and I'm thinking, you know,
okay, "They don't look like me."

They don't have to,
but it's like,

it's just,
it's very interesting.

It's so weird to be
on this side of it.

I did not have
Portia audition to play me,

because I think
she's a little young.

- I think we need more roses,
guys, 'cause, like,

I think it'll look better.

- Maybe you should try this,
one bite,

to see if you like it.

- No.

- And it would've been
a little strange.

I don't know. Too close to home?

- Oh, guess what?
I'm so excited.

- What?

- We can film in LA, 'cause
that was a big part of it.

- Oh, that's huge.

- Huge. 'Cause that's, like,
another thing

I'd have to leave town
for to do,

and I don't want to have
to keep being apart.

So that was a really big deal.

- I'm so happy.
- I know. So don't worry.

We don't have to go
to Canada for a month.

I want to be
the best wife possible,

and if he has to travel
for business,

I want to be able to go
with him and support him.

But I can't always do that.

I feel like we're both so busy.

Like, I went to New York,
and then you're in Mexico,

and I'm here, and then...

- I know, we're all over
the place.

- When I'm working
and he's working

and I have to be someplace,

and he has to be someplace,
it becomes difficult.

- Okay, honey,
I love you so much.

- All right. Love you.

- Bye.

Everything is so crazy,
right now.

This is really, like...
- It's hard.

- A situation.
- I know, right?

- I have to learn to say no to
certain things, though, too.

- True.
- I do. And so does my husband.

Like, playing ball with you
right now, Bambi.

♪ ♪

- Lisa, we have a very fun
phone call.

- We do?

- Eileen Davison's here
to say hi to you.

- Eileen. Oh, my God, hi!

- Hi, there.
- Hi.

- I want one.
I want one in every color.

- Okay, you've got it.
You will look so fabulous.

- I can't believe that Eileen
is calling in.

That is the sweetest thing ever.

- Eileen, can I ask you
real quick,

what do you love
about Lisa's line?

- Well, they're very much
like her.

They're fun, they're
down-to-earth, they're simple.

- I like that.
- And yet there's a nice

big of elegance to them, too.

- This 24-hour
QVC appearance was a hit.

To sell that much merchandise
in a 24-hour period,

I mean, I never sold that much
in a year at my store.

- I love you so much.
Thank you for calling.

- Love you, bye-bye.

- Love you.
- You too.

- Coming up...

- You've got no undies on,
you've got a short dress,

cross your legs.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, my little man.

Hi.

We're back.

Oh, look at the little
tail wagging.

- I'm pulled in all directions,
with the restaurants,

with all the work that I do
with the LGBT community,

and now this dog rescue center.

- Thank you so much
for your donation.

It's been really a lifesaver.

It's helped us stay open,
and to continue to rescue dogs.

These guys are here
because of you.

- Well, it's our passion.
You know that.

- We started Vanderpump Dog
Foundation,

and we are going to use
the money that's donated,

and our own money,
to reach out to rescue centers.

What about this
little teddy head here?

- She was an owner surrender.

Someone was living out
in Malibu with her,

but their property
was not gated.

And so a coyote got to her.

- Oh.
- Without a gated property,

it was not... - Can't I have her?

- Baby, if you're gonna do this

and sponsor it and support it,

you've got to work
on having them adopted.

You can't take
every dog from here.

Every animal she sees,
she wants.

- Well, I married you, didn't I?

- Well, you got me.

- Ken and were driving
in England,

and suddenly he does a U-turn

because there was a dog
on the side of the road.

Totally broke the law,
shouldn't have done it,

but he stopped for this dog
on the side of the road.

We'd only been dating
just a couple of weeks,

and I thought,
"I'm gonna marry that man."

- You're gonna have all that
matted fur

taken off of you, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- [inaudible]

- I love all of you. Yes, I do.

- Oh, I like doing this, baby.

Do you like that?

- I'm married to a man that
feels the same way as I do.

- Darling.
- Yeah?

- You've got to see
my pup that I shaved.

Now he's having a bath.

- Ohh.

They feel kind hands,
don't they?

Now we're doing a documentary,

and we're entering a resolution
into Congress in our endeavor

to stop the dog
torture globally.

What is he? Is he a puppy?
- She's 10 months old.

- About 10 months.
He's just terrified.

He actually just pooped himself
'cause he's so scared.

- Where, now?
- Yeah.

- On me?

- [laughs]

- Can I say our lives
have gone to the dogs?

Yeah, I think
that'd be appropriate.

- How many dogs can you have

before you
look like a crazy person?

- You're asking
the wrong person.

- Yeah, that's true.

- She is a crazy person.
- Yeah.

- Bye, guys.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- We have a cabana reserved
for you tonight.

- Oh, this is so cute.

Hi! Nice to see you. - Hey.

- Oh, I missed you.
- I missed you too.

- I literally just got
off the plane.

- I know.
- Like, literally.

- And you look amazing, I can't
believe you've been traveling.

- No I don't. I look like poop.

♪ ♪

- She's got a...
- Hello! Hello.

- I was just telling her I love
you.

- Oh, wow.
- She was.

- Very sweet.
- Your shirt's so cute.

Ooh, let me see your shoes.

- Oh, my God, those are so...

- Wait a second.
- Isn't that amazing.

- Whose are these? I'm obsessed.

- Are they Kanye?
- Yeah.

- They are Kanye.
- And you know.

- Dorit has really good style.

She's got a very beautiful,
interesting look.

Not like the normal chicks
you meet in Beverly Hills.

She's a little bit exotic.

- Hi, guys,
welcome to Tart tonight.

- I think I'm just gonna have a
glass of white wine, very dry.

- I like that too.
- I think I'll have the same.

- Me too.
When you always say that,

I go, "Oh, I want that."
She makes it sound so good.

- I know. It's almost like
I can taste it.

- Three of us
and ice waters too.

- Yes, it sounded perfect,

It's exactly what I'm actually
in the mood for.

- Thank you.
- Nobody has even commented on

the fact she just had a baby.

- Oh, my God.
- Let's comment on it.

- How long has it been,
five months?

- Five months. My daughter,
I think I was telling you girls

how my daughter had this band

to round her head out,
'cause it had gotten flattened.

- Oh! You're kidding.

- They put, like, this stocking
over her face, because...

- Oh, my God.
- I know, so...

And I'm like, "Can she breathe?"

And I had to go every week
for fittings,

and every week
they would measure her.

I was literally every day...
Not because it bothered her,

but for me,
I just couldn't wait for her

to get out of this thing,
you know?

- Right. Right.

- She's just
at the beginning of it.

I'm 18 years down the line.

I will buy myself
a rose gold Bentley

if I get through
this teenage sh...

- She is officially
finished with thing.

I'm, just, like, so excited.

- Yay.
- Toast to that.

- I mean, this whole
new mommy thing,

it's a freakin' killer.
- I know.

- It's a freakin' killer.
- I know.

- There's always something
with kids.

Jesse broke his arm.
Little Vinnie broke his arm.

Big Vinnie ran over Duke's foot,

and Vinnie was like,
"He's gonna be fine."

I'm like,
"He's not gonna be fine,

"you've got to take him
to the hospital!

You ran over his foot!"

- God help us all.
- I know.

- It's making... it's making me
sweat to a point

that I don't know
I can handle it.

- I mean...

- By the way, you know
what we're doing this week?

- What?

- Erika's invited us
to do this...

- Oh, the escape room.
It's a fabulous thing.

- What's an escape room?
- You go to a room,

and
there's like, you're locked in,

and then you try to escape out
as a team.

- Oh, God, no.

- You use your brain
and your smarts.

- Oh.
- And you, you know,

and you're... you're quick,
so I think you might enjoy it.

- Good luck.

- I'm like, slightly petrified.
So, I, definitely...

- No, it's just you have
to get out of these different,

like, locks and keys and things
you have to put together.

- Oh, I don't like that.
- I would advise

nobody drink before.

It'll make it much harder
to figure out.

- Would you guys
like another round?

- Yes, I would.
- Yeah?

- Yes, please.
- Yes.

- Thank you.
- I have to be a bit cheeky

and tell you this crazy thing
that happened the other night.

- What happened?
- We're all having drinks,

we're going
to this white party, okay?

So we're all in white.

Erika actually had, like,
this really pretty dress.

You know, and it's very short.
And she's sitting there,

and she's sitting there
in front of my husband,

and she's, like, you know,
just sitting like this.

And, at one point, like,
I had sort of seen,

because she's got this
really short dress on.

- Oh, so there was nothing on?
- Like, yeah. So I got...

- She was... she didn't have
any panties on?

- Well, I assumed that it was
skin-colored panties,

much like I was wearing,
because that's what I had on.

I had a white dress on
with skin-colored panties.

- Oh, my God!
- And she was like this,

so I didn't think
anything of it.

So my husband's sitting right
in front of her. And...

[all speaking indistinctly]

- And it's one thing if you're,
like, with a group of girls,

but when you're actually
sitting across

from someone's husband...
- Right. Right.

- How can you expect
someone not to look?

- Not to be...

- I mean, I wouldn't have
stared,

but I may have looked.

- So then it became
a conversation.

- All right, guys,
here's some food menus.

- My husband said to me, "Dorit,
it was so uncomfortable."

- Well, I can understand
why that would be

a very strange situation.
- Oh my God.

Now, if you're
a lady, I'm sorry.

But isn't it kind of
like lady 101?

You've got no undies on,

you've got a short dress,
cross your legs.

- Oh, come on. Really?

Dorit.
Because you're living life,

and you're having
conversations with people

and you're moving,
you can't be thinking,

"Am I flashing my puss?
Am I flashing my puss?"

So I can completely understand
how it could happen.

- I know I would be
conscious of...

- Yeah.
- Being in front of another man.

- It's an interesting choice.

It looks almost like you're
doing something on purpose.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Here's my question.

Did you say something
in the moment?

Did you say,
"I feel like this," or...

- No, we're not talking about
a ditzy blonde here, are we?

- Right.
- No.

- Because of how Erika looks,

there can be
an instant judgment.

I watched her video,
and I had an instant judgment.

I mean, it's sexual in a way
that I just was like, whoa.

- You're being a prude, Rinna.
- I know.

- I think that's what happened.

They went,
"She's this type of girl."

- She's somebody who's really
got it together,

and she's smart.

'Cause I said, "Erika,
that's fascinating on stage."

She goes, "Well,
that's just on stage.

I'm actually very shy."
It's not like I...

- "I'm very shy."
- I'm not.

- "And I'm not comfortable
with just, like, being myself."

- Your little, your...
- [laughs]

- "And therefore..."
- Yeah, you were spinning.

- I honestly don't think that
the so-called

"flashing" has anything
to do with Erika's personality.

I mean, she wasn't
flashing on purpose.

- I'd be like, "Erika,
sweetheart, listen.

"You know, the last experience
we had, I'm keeping a mirror,

"a lipstick and panties

in my purse
when I know I'm seeing you."

- That... I want to be there
when you ask her that.

[laughter]

- Can't wait.

- No, that's gonna be
a fascinating conversation.

- Yeah, it is.
- I'm very... I'm...

- 'Cause I'm interested to know
what she's gonna say.

- I'm interested to know that.
- It's the crotch chronicles.

- The crotch chronicles!

- The snatch chat,
as we like to call it.

- The snatch chat!

- I'm sorry.
I had to let it out.

- That's so good!
- The snatch chat.

- Coming up...

- I'm gonna give you some really
good piece of advice

in front of everyone.

The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hi, there.

You look so pretty. - So do you.

- Mwah!
- Good to see you.

- So nice to see you, honey.

- Oh, I like this.
- Aren't they... yeah.

- I passed this belt,

but it's definitely
piqued my interest.

- I saw that too, and I was
like, oh, it's very cute.

- Well, it's not... not with
this outfit, but, like, with...

- No, with that
outfit it's cute.

- Really? With the buttons?

- I like it with the buttons.

See, you have an English accent.

- Dorit has a great sense
of style.

She loves fashion, and she
loves things with button.

- Carlo, I like the idea
of these bomber jackets.

Do you think
it's a little too "Grease?"

- I actually really
love the bomber jackets.

I just got one. - Rizzo.

Don't you think I look like
Rizzo from "Grease?"

- [laughs]

I like this. Can I get this?

You want to set this...
Can I put this aside?

- Wow.
You didn't even see yourself.

- I can imagine how the bag
will look against my thigh.

So, did you end up having
dinner with Eileen and Rinna?

- No, well, we had...

Well, yeah, we had drinks
not too far from here.

- How was that? Was that
[inaudible]?

- Yeah.
- Did you guys get into

that whole topic
about what happened with Erika?

- Yes.
- I figured.

She's never gonna
live this down.

- I have to... I literally have
to make fun of her

when I see her.

- Obviously, she knew
she didn't have underwear on,

but she did not realize.

- That she was showing?
- No.

- [inaudible]
- She would never do that.

- When she's Erica Girardi,
she's very self-aware

and would never allow anything
like that to happen.

When she's Erika Jayne,
she may be strutting around

and showing her body off,

but she's not showing her
vajayay to someone's husband.

Wait, so let me
get this straight.

- Thanks, honey.

Afterwards, when PK
was saying to me,

"I literally could not
stop looking."

He's like, "It was right here."

- But he couldn't help it.

Really? Yeah, right.

- I think I need to buy someone
a little gift [inaudible].

- You know, you can't have
this gorgeous house,

all these jewels,
and all these diamonds,

and underwear too. It's a lot.

- I think Erika's got
a good sense of humor.

I could be wrong,

but it seems like she's
gonna have a laugh about it.

- I'll say, "It's flesh tone.

"Next time we're going
to a white party,

you might want to put these on."

- If you do that,
I may drop dead.

- I have to. I have to.

- Oh, my God.
- I have to.

- This could go really, really,
really, really wrong.

- No, I have to.

- If you do that without me
standing there,

I'm gonna never talk
to you ever again.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God, congratulations.

- You got your ninth number
one Billboard.

It's like Rihanna,
and then you at the top.

- Things are happening.
Things are coming together.

- If Erika can hit number one
on the Billboard charts,

then there's no doubt
that she's gonna rock it on

"The Young and the Restless."

- Later in the afternoon,
Mal comes up to me.

He goes, "You know, Eileen,
I have an idea,

and I want to read her."
And I go, "Really?"

- What... what did he mean?
- He wants you to read.

- Oh, God.

- And then the writers
can write it accordingly.

- Oh, my God.

This is way more
than I ever expected.

I thought I was gonna come in
and, like, say a couple lines

and then hit it,

but now it's become
something really special.

So the pressure's on.
I'm not gonna lie.

♪ ♪

- Thanks.

Hi! - Hi!

Sit down.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Fabulous purse.

- Hi!
- Hello, girls.

- I drug us down here.

- Oh, my goodness.
I'm petrified.

- What are you doing in pumps,
girl?

- What do you mean?
I didn't get the memo.

- I love that.

- I have never found
a single thing

that I cannot do in a pump.

- I love the T-shirt.
That's a rapper, isn't it?

- 2 Chainz. Yeah, 2 Chainz.

- See, I'm genuinely starting
to have

the coolest friends ever.

No, I can learn a lot.

- That's cool.
- It's the cheeky little gift,

since we've all seen
your pretty little puss now.

- Shut up. I f... ing hate you.

- Do you know that it literally
went over my head that night?

My husband's like, "Dorit,
I could not stop staring."

You clearly have the prettiest
vagina in the world.

- I'm not really happy
that Dorit's husband

caught a glimpse up my skirt.

Why wouldn't you tell me?

The whole thing
is kind of weird.

- A little present for you.
- Oh, these are beautiful.

- Aren't they?

Not that it's really
all that much of a cover-up.

- These are beautiful.
No, thank you. There she is.

Thank you so much, baby doll.

- Hi, cutie. How are you?

- Mwah!

- Nice to see you.
- Oh, my gosh.

- I'm just given Erika my
present I bought her yesterday.

- So you got your present.
- She gave me underwear.

I tried to forget it, but...

- It sort of, like,
took on a life of its own.

- How's that?
- Well, because

when you talk
to one person in the group

and another person
in the group...

- But let's be clear as to why
I didn't have underwear on.

It's 'cause I had a white dress
on, and I didn't want lines,

not because of any other reason.

- Erika, if you don't have
your legs crossed,

and your dress is here, and you
don't have underwear on,

how do you not realize
that you can see?

It wasn't that I thought
you were trying

to seduce my husband
or anything of that...

it was just having a bit of fun.

- Oh, your husband
saw up my skirt.

Oh, you've been talking
about it with other people.

Oh, now you think
I did this on purpose.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Now I'm a little pissed.

- I'm gonna give you some
really good piece of advice

in front of everyone.

The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.

Just be careful.

- Coming up...

- Hold still, ladies.

- I'm gonna be trapped
with these girls forever.

[all screaming]

- I'm gonna give you
some really good piece of advice

in front of everyone.

The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.

Just be careful.

- Is that a threat?

It's a little bit too ominous,

and it's a little bit too scary,

to be perfectly honest.

I wasn't gonna let this
fester and become a thing.

- It's not a thing.

- That was never supposed to be.

- And it's never gonna
be a thing with me.

- Yeah, and nor me, by the way,
so high five to that.

- Awesome, thank you, and I do
love the underwear.

They are cute. - Oh!

- Oh, my God,
she's dressed for escape room.

- Yeah.
- Homegirl, please.

- I love it.
- Am I interrupting something?

- No. Come on in.

- I can't think of anybody

I'd rather be locked up
with than you guys.

- Really?

- I'll put on my glasses
so I look slightly intelligent.

- Oh.
- Seriously.

- Those are great, actually.
- That looks good.

- What were you talking about?
I just showed up and...

- We were talking about,
she gave me

a cute pair of underwear

since I didn't have
on underwear the other night.

- I heard about that.

- What the f...
Is going on around here?

- Ken was upset that
he didn't swap places

with him halfway
through the evening.

- Well, there you go.
I'm a hit on all levels.

- Why do these bitches
keep talking

about my f... ing vagina?

I don't care, I want to have
fun at escape room!

- Yeah!
- Let's... let's be here.

- No, no, no, no.
Let's get back to your coochie.

It's way more interesting.

- You know, it wasn't that deep.

That sounded terrible. [laughs]

- Okay, ladies,
shall we get started?

Cool.
Are we excited to get locked up?

- Yeah. Oh, God, yes.

- Awesome. Follow the clues

that we have in there,

and then, you know,
you have to solve puzzles.

And you will get either a key,
combination or code

in order to open
the locks, okay?

Ladies, come on in.
- [inaudible]

- I'm not...
- Come on.

- Why am I going first?

Oh, this is creepy.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- What the hell?

- Are we not supposed
to touch anything?

- I think we're supposed
to touch everything.

- Okay, "Each of
my four elements

"is self-contained,
whole in of itself.

The elements from one area
must never be mixed together..."

- "Mixed with another..."
- "From a different area."

- Is this air? Is this it?

- This is you, you.
- Yeah, okay.

- Apparently
to split up into teams

it helps you actually
escape quicker.

Dorit, get over here.

And now I'm teamed up
with Eileen Davison,

so I'm escaping
not only from the room,

but from Eileen Davison.

- "Symbols to numbers, numbers
to colors,

colors to letters,
letters to symbols."

- Scents from the garden, okay.

So the number one, eucalyptus.

- No, but it's color-coded.
- So we smell it.

So let's find eucalyptus.
- This is it.

Is that eucalyptus?

- The number.
Start with the black.

What is the black one?
- Okay, that's what I got.

- The black is the white space.

- No, the letters aren't
matching up to that.

- It's cinnamon.

It's definitely,
definitely cinnamon.

- Did you put that
down as cinnamon?

- Two is red. Three is purple.

Four is, like, an orange.

I'm never gonna get out.

I'm gonna be trapped
with these girls forever.

- Maybe this has got
a code on it.

[all screaming]

- Have they already got
their box open,

and we don't have our box open?

- Yeah!
- Okay.

- What letter is it?

- F.
- Is that with the red?

No, 'cause the red's
over there. It's got to be up.

- A little bit.
- Okay.

[together] Ahh!

- Open it. Damn it.

- Seriously, need help.
Key? Lock? No?

- Here's a key.
- Oh.

- Try this.
- Oh, jeez. Do it.

- I feel like I'm expecting
to have, like,

a big diamond in here
after all this.

"A moment of reflection.

Hit the fire,
hit the fire monster?"

- "Follow this direction.

An angled shot
will lead to naught."

all: "Confront the beast
head-on."

- "Target the monster
in its mouth

and live to see the dawn."

- "Target the monster
in its mouth."

Oh, I've heard that before.
- So I guess it's you.

It's you! - Here's a button.

- Target it in its mouth with
what?

- It's a fire monster.

- Why is it a laser pointing
over here?

- Reflection, in the mirror,
in the mirror, in the mirror.

Target the monster in its mouth
and live to see the dawn.

- This way, reflected back.

- So we've got to get the
writing with all the mirrors.

- We have to all three hit that.

- I don't know how to make it
go with three f... ing mirrors.

Someone goes here,
to shoot it to here,

to shoot it there,
to shoot it there.

- Yeah. Okay. Okay, so how?
Here, here, here.

- Hold still, ladies.

- Erika, have you got
any other bright ideas?

- No, I'm all out.

- Get it in its mouth.

[all screaming]

- Yay!

- Ohh, thank God.

[all screaming]

- Yes! Yes!

I made it out! I made it out!

- Yeaaah!

- You're kidding.
- Well done, ladies.

You did it.

- I'm pretty proud
that Lisa Vanderpump

and I pulled it together

and made it out
of that escape room,

considering where we were
a few months ago.

All: Yay!

[upbeat music]

- Where are we going?
- I know.

- Right up here.

- You guys, we had
to concentrate so hard on that,

I mean, you had to really put
all your energy. It really is.

- I feel good about it.
- It's no joke.

- I think this is it.
- Oh.

- Right here.

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Are we sitting in
any particular fashion, order?

- No.
- We made it.

- Thank you.
- Made it.

- Yeah.
- Made it, yes.

- How's Kim doing?
- Kim is good.

She's really excited about her
daughter having a baby.

- That's exciting.
- Yeah.

I love a newborn so much.

I want to strap a baby Bjorn on
and walk around with the baby.

- You can.
- Can I borrow hers,

do you think?

- You have two nieces now.
- No, but they...

- What are they to you?

- They are my great-nieces,
I think.

- Not your nieces.
- Who?

- My niece's babies are my,
what, great-niece? Great-niece.

- If her nieces have a baby.
- You're a great aunt.

- Yeah, I'm their great aunt.
- That's so weird.

- I think that this baby

could not have come
at a better time for my sister.

She's happy. She's sober.

Kim is going to be
an incredible grandmother.

- I'm a great aunt
like eight times over.

- Are you really?

- I'm a great aunt once.
- I'm not anything.

There's no sisters,
and no babies, so it's all me.

- You're a mother, though.
- I'm a mom.

- You're a mom.
- We're all moms.

- Hello, ladies.
How are we doing today?

- Good, how are you?
- Welcome to 10e.

- Could we get some stuff

right away going
for the middle, right away?

- Yeah, let's order right away.

- Sure, absolutely.
- I'm starving.

- I think none of us are used
to using our brains that much,

and now we're all starving to
death and need some refueling.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- That escape room
wore my brain out.

- Still, that was
almost like exercise.

- Oh, yeah.
- The three of us,

we got it together,
and we overcame our obstacles,

and we worked it out.

- Are you talking about
the game, or you and Lisa?

- Uh-oh!

- Well, both. No, both. Both.

- Did you like your stuff
you bought yesterday?

- I do. Oh, you know, I haven't
tried the leather pants on yet.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- At her store?
- No, we went to this place

called... where she bought
your underwear.

- What happened?

I wasn't there for the delivery
of the underwear.

- She gave me underwear.

[tense music]

- That was it?

♪ ♪

- Well, ask her.

- Coming up...

- Is this the end of it?

- She gave me underwear.

♪ ♪

- That was it?
- Well, ask her.

♪ ♪

- Listen, I don't want Erika
to feel terrible about it.

- I don't.

- Exactly.
- I really don't.

- I, exa...
- The only thing

that I feel terrible about
is that if, in fact,

which I don't think happened,
but if in fact that, you know...

- PK saw it?
- Yeah, he would've like, "Hey."

Instead of maybe, like, looking
at it a little too long.

[laughter]

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, if that were in fact
the case,

I would appreciate it
if he just kind of like,

said, "Hey, E?"
- Well, he wouldn't...

He wouldn't say it was
if he didn't.

- PK's talking about it,
and he's staring at it?

Ew.

Ew! Ew!

- It's all good.
Doesn't really matter.

- You and I can have
a real chat about it

when it's not maybe
a group of people.

Very happy to do,

because I don't want you
to have hurt feelings.

- Dorit, I don't need
to chat about it at all.

I think this ends
the conversation.

There's nothing to say.

- I think so. I do think
that it was not something

that was designed
to hurt your feelings.

- I didn't.
- I don't know you,

and when you're put
into a group of people...

- Well, it's an incident
that you say happened.

I still don't know that it did.
- Sorry, sweetheart.

But you serve it up on a
platter, what are you expecting?

Of course he's gonna
stare at it.

I don't think you can
expect someone's husband

that doesn't know you
to say something,

because he's just not
made of that mold.

Maybe your husband is.
Mine definitely isn't.

- Got it.
- But I definitely would have,

had I noticed.

- Got it.

- Erika's so calm, cool,
and collected,

but I know right now she wants
to take this bitch down.

- You strike me as the type
of girl

that you can have
a bit of fun with,

and lighten the situation.
And it was...

- Yeah, Dorit, it's okay.
It's okay.

Let's get another margarita.

- Oh, well.

Is this the end of it?

- For me it is.
- For me it is.

- Oh, jinx, okay.

- Okay, that good.

- That should
tell you something.

- Did he say it was pretty?
- Yeah.

- Next on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills..."

- I don't mean to be rude, but
I don't find any of those people

attractive like that in
any way, shape, or form.

- We're all shagging people
we don't want to sometimes.

- The time that we were having

the toughest moment
among all of us women,

Eileen had just lost her mother.

And she didn't tell anybody.

- That's not fair
to other people, though.

- No, it's not.
I agree with you 100%.

I mean, I wasn't, I didn't
go through all of it. Well...

- And I think that's why
she wanted to clarify,

because you weren't there.

- Let me just finish.

- It's that kind of girl

that takes all the fun
out of hanging out with women.

- Exactly.
- It's just wrong.

- To learn more about
the housewives,