The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 7, Episode 16 - Big Buddha Brawl - full transcript

- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

Erika, Kyle needs
some underwear.

- I don't have any.
- Oh... oh!

- What am I supposed to say?
"Close your legs, darling.

I don't like the view"?
I didn't mind the view.

- You've got no undies on.
You've got a short dress.

Cross your legs.

This is a cheeky little gift.

- Oh, these are beautiful.
- Aren't they?

Since we've all seen
your pretty little puss now.

- I'm gonna give you some
really good piece of advice



in front of everyone:

the more you talk about sh...,

the worse it gets.

- I have not put alcohol
in this smoothie,

but I have thrown a Xanax in.

- People were seeing Rinna's
mad moments.

- Well, I was at Eden's house.

We had smoothies...
Lisa Rinna, Eden, and I,

and we sort of bonded
over Xanax and smoothies.

- There was a conversation
at the table...

You were sitting across from me,
and you were like,

"Well, she does have
this bag of pills,

"and we were talking
about Xanax smoothies,

and that that's probably why
she reacts the way she does."



- You're saying she reacts that
way because she was doing pills.

- Did I say that, Erika?

- I don't remember
you saying that,

but you kind of alluded to that.

- But you can't put words
in someone's mouth.

- No. I didn't put any words
in anybody's mouth.

- Well, no. You did, actually.

[upbeat music]

- The crown is heavy, darlings,

so just leave it
where it belongs.

♪ ♪

- I may be two people,
but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you:
don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil,
but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've
traveled the world,

you can speak
in any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury,
and I can always spot a fake.

♪ ♪

- Dorit, if you didn't feel
like the pills

or the Xanax smoothies was
part of her behavior,

why would you bring it up to us
at the table?

- I don't remember saying it
like that.

- So you don't remember it
either!

- No, no, no. I didn't remember
saying it like that.

- Listen to my question.
- Yeah, go on, Erika.

- If you didn't think that it
was part of the behavior,

why bring it up?

- You're sure
that that's the conversation...

- No, no, no. Let me finish.
Let me finish, Dorit.

You talk a lot.
- You don't talk enough.

- I say important sh...

You say too much boring sh...

- You're the only one
in this group

that I haven't managed
to somehow connect with.

- Because I don't like bullsh...,
Dorit,

and that's what I think you are.

- Oh... then why don't you
just f... ing say it?

- I just did.
- Halle-f... ing-lujah.

Finally, at least we've got
a starting point.

- Keep going, Dorit.
- Because I don't need

to continue to make an effort.

- Oh, my God.

- I was really nice to you.

- You've never been
really nice to me, ever.

- What do you want me to do,
Dorit? What do you need?

Like, confirmation all the time?

- I don't need confirmation
at all.

- But that's what you're always
asking for.

"Oh, you didn't say hello
to me."

"Oh, look at you.
You gave me a compliment."

That's right, I did.

I love your hair.

- Thank you.
- Very fresh.

- That's the first compliment
I've ever gotten from you, ever.

- That's not true.

Sometimes, you know,
you just got to let people know

just how full of sh...
They really are.

I guess now's the right time.

Do you know what? You pick
and you pick and you pick,

and you're dying
for my attention,

and now you have it.

- Honey...

- Is that not enough for you?

- Honey, don't f... ing
flatter yourself.

I'm not dying
for your f... ing attention.

- You are dying
for my attention.

That's all you've done
the whole time.

- [in nasal voice] "You're
desperate for my friendship.

You're desperate
for my relationship."

Is that what you really think?
- No. It's what I know.

- Is that what you f... ing...
Where are you?

In which cloud are you living?

- I'm on reality. Where are you?

- You are certainly not
in reality.

What on Earth would I need
from you, Erika?

You're not that interesting.

You're not f... ing fun.

You're not f... ing nice at all.

You're cold as f... ing ice
and stoic.

Why the hell would I be vying
for your attention?

- I must have touched a nerve.
You're obviously loud.

- I'm not like you, Erika.

- But how do you know Erika?
You don't really know Erika.

- I don't know her at all.
- You don't know me,

so you're hurling out a lot
of judgments.

- I'm giving you my opinion
of my...

- But, Dorit, you could not be
further away.

- But she always felt
that you were saying something...

- But that's not true.
- But that's how she felt.

- Let me ask you this: do you
think I'm really gonna like you

after everything that happened
with the underwear?

- It's a bit of a shock
that Erika is raising this now

when it was always
that we're perfectly fine,

and she's over it,
and it was behind us.

- Is this the end of it?

[together] For me, it is.

- Ah, jinx!

- Okay, that was good.
- Okay, good.

- That should tell you
something.

- So then say it
for crying out loud.

Don't pretend
that you're over it.

- I'm not pretending.
- You're harboring

this resentment.

- But, Dorit, I'm gonna
keep a safe distance from you.

- Well, I think
that's what she feels.

- Because you took something
that was innocent on my behalf

and you turned it
into this whole,

"Oh, she's doing it on purpose,"

"Oh, she's doing it
for my husband's attention."

- Erika, let me just say...
- You took that

and you ran with that,
so congratulations to you.

Does it feel good to tell
Dorit, "Go f... yourself"?

Yeah, it does.

- Erika.
- Don't do that.

I've done nothing to this woman,

and all she can do is talk
about Erika.

- To me, a woman
that comes with a short dress

and doesn't cross her legs...

- Are you trying to say
that I did that on purpose?

- No one has ever said that!
- You know what?

I think you have said that.
- Erika!

- And you questioned whether she
did it on purpose or not.

- Are you kidding me?

It's one thing if you're, like,
with a group of girls,

but when you're actually sitting
across from someone's husband...

- Right.
- How can you expect someone...

- Not to be looking.
- Not to look?

- Yes, you f... ing did.

- When I gave you the underwear,
Erika,

it was for a laugh,

and you laughed
and you high-fived me.

- Being embarrassed like that
is not fun, Dorit.

And being talked about like that
is not fun.

- Honey, I did not...
- That is not nice

amongst a group of women.

- I know that Dorit thought
what she was doing was

actually bringing levity
to the situation,

and she thought that Erika would
take it in good humor.

I mean, for God's sake,
this is a girl

that wears "..."
around her neck.

- Had you mentioned it to me,
believe me,

I would've absolutely made up
for it

and told you I'm so sorry.

- Are you saying that to me now?

- Well, Erika,
if you ever tell me,

or anyone here, for that matter,

that I've done something
to hurt them,

of course I'm gonna be sorry.

- Well, Dorit,
that hurt my feelings.

- Whatever this whole thing
about Erika being cold is,

I don't buy it.

There's a person there

who's got a lot
of strong feelings.

And yeah, it's a little like,
"Wow, here they are,"

but I'm not surprised.

- Believe me, Dorit,
I have them.

I know you don't think I do,
but I do.

- I question
whether you have feelings.

- Well, you know what, then?
- Oh, Dorit, come on.

- Come on, Dorit, that's mean.
- Everybody has feelings.

- That was a f... ing joke,
Rinna.

- No, that wasn't a joke, Dorit.

- Dorit, there's truth
in all kidding.

You really think
that I'm heartless and cold,

don't you?

- I do think
that you're very cold.

- There we go.
- I do.

- You have no idea what cold is.
None.

- I don't really surround myself
with cold people.

- Dorit, forget it.
- I just don't.

- Okay, great.
- And I certainly don't

vie for their attention
or their friendship.

- Then stop talking to me.

Then stop talking to me.

- Honey, that is the easiest
thing in the world for me to do.

- You guys, what is
really going on here?

What is really...
What is it, really?

Why are you so defensive?
Why can't you be like,

"I f... ed up. I'm so sorry...'

- Lisa, this is the first time...
- "That my husband

"was glaring
at your f... ing vagina.

I'm sorry."

- I'm sorry that my husband was
glaring at your vagina?

- Well, whatever.
- Are you f... ing kidding me?

- I'm not f... ing kidding you.

- What on Earth do you expect
a man with a beating heart

to be doing when a girl's
vajay-jay's in front of them?

- Oh, my God.

I would never expect Vincent,
in a million years,

to sit there and stare
up some girl's skirt

who's not wearing underwear.

[dramatic music]

Uh, ew! No!

- And I'm very sorry
that these girls made it

very, very big in your head.

- Oh! [laughing]
- We did not make it very big,

my friend... you made it very big.
- That's not nice, Dorit.

- And I didn't even f... ing
know you.

- Lisa. Don't ever get
in my face, Lisa.

- I'll get in your face
as much as I want.

- I don't... no, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, I will.

- I don't think you understand...
- Don't f... ing threaten me.

- Don't you ever get
in my face, Lisa.

- Dorit, f... off. F... off.

Sorry. You made it big.

- You're so classy. Ask me again
my opinion of you.

- Whoa.
- Please.

- What's your opinion of me?
- What's your opinion of Lisa?

- You got class.
- Yeah. You, too, Dorit.

I'm low class? Really?

Oh, from the woman who comes
from Connecticut

and uses a fake British/
Australian/South African/

whatever accent.

Come on. Bring it on. More.

- You know what, Dorit?
I got to tell you:

I was, like, listening to you...

I'm, like, hearing
what you're saying

until you said
we made a big deal out of it,

because we did not. - Eileen.

- You lost me there, girlfriend.
You lost me there.

- Dorit, all you need to do is
take responsibility

for what you do,
and you're gonna be fine.

- If I had known that she was
upset, I would have.

- But we told you.

- Excuse me. You telling me
and her not... do you think that...

- You're so defensive.

- So, shall I apologize to you,
then?

- I'm not asking for that.
- No!

- That's what I'm saying.
You're telling me...

- But you're acting
like you had no idea

her feelings were hurt, Dorit,

and I said, "You know what?

I think her feelings were hurt."

- That's not fair.

She meant it like a joke.

- But you don't need to talk
for her, Lisa.

You don't need to talk for her.
Let her talk.

- Okay, she's my friend.
- I know.

- But you're, like, backing her
up, and I'm going with her.

- It's okay. It's okay.

- I feel like this is just a bit
of a pile-on now.

If they all felt that Dorit's
intentions were mean-spirited,

why didn't they say something?

- Kyle told you the same thing.
She said she felt blindsided.

- Eileen, but she's telling me
something different.

What is the matter with you?

- They basically all thought it
was a great idea.

And then suddenly when Erika
didn't take it as such a joke,

they all backed off.

That's not fair.

- Erika,
I was not looking at all,

nor would I ever,
to defame your character

or to make you look bad
or to hurt your feelings.

- Well, you did all three,
but thanks.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- Are you okay?
- Yes. I'm fine.

- You don't have to be fine,
you know, all the time.

[dramatic music]

- Erika,
I was not looking at all,

nor would I ever,
to defame your character

or to make you look bad
or to hurt your feelings.

- Well, you did all three,
but thanks.

♪ ♪

Anyone who knows me
knows I'm not icy,

but what I don't like is
bullsh...,

and that's what this is.

This is total f... ing bullsh...

She's out to humiliate me.
Hooray.

You did it.

- Erika, don't go.

Don't go.

Are you okay? - Yes. I'm fine.

- You don't have to be fine,
you know, all the time.

I don't like to see anybody cry
or anybody hurting.

But she kind of lets you in
sometimes

and then pushes you away.

- I don't want
to have this conversation.

- But maybe it's all
just a mask.

I don't quite understand it.

But clearly the Ice Queen is
kind of melting.

♪ ♪

- Tap away.

- Oh, boy.
- Aww.

- Ha-ha! You're so sweet.
I'm fine.

- Use the inside.
- It's okay.

Don't worry about it.
I got... it's fine.

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

Don't hug me.

- I have to touch you
just for a second.

- I'm more than fine.
- I know you're fine.

You're always fine.

- It makes me feel bad
to see Erika cry,

because I know that's not
something she takes lightly

and does often,

so for Erika to shed a tear,

I know there's a lot going on.

- Great. Let's go. You guys,
where are we going now?

- I'm gonna go get it all
together.

- Do you want to come...
- No.

- Go eat something with us?
- I'm just gonna go chill out.

- Go chill, and...
- Want to go chill out?

- I'll come with you.
- Thank you.

- Very precarious!
- Thank you.

- Oh, my God!

- I need to get off this f... ing
boat, and I need to go home.

What the f... was that?

- Thank you. Bye-bye.
- That felt like...

- Let's go.
- A missile attack.

- Thank you.
- I mean, a direct, full-on

missile attack.

- Listen. I don't want
to end up yelling at anybody.

That's not who I am,
but you know,

it's just... it's hard to be,
you know,

portrayed as something
that you really aren't.

- Well, that's what's not okay.

- You know, it's just not fair.
- That's not fair.

- And that's the level
of my tears.

It's just, like,
f... ing frustrating.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- But you were crying
and you look so pretty.

- Thank you so much.
- I know. If I cried that pretty

I'd be really happy.
- I know... right?

- The thing is...
The sad thing is,

I think all of the people
that Erika pays

to tell her how fabulous she is

has literally has gotten
to her head.

Erika has her glam squad
that are with her every day

who she pays
to make her look fabulous.

And they tell her, "You're
fantastic. You're beautiful.

You're amazing."

I mean, after a while,

how can that not get
to somebody's head?

- I think it's just a shame
that right at the beginning

she didn't actually just say,
"Okay, I can't let this go,"

you know, and really been honest
about it.

- Right.
- Because when I went out

to see her,
she was really crying,

and I haven't seen that kind
of vulnerability...

- See, that's the thing.
She has such a wall up as it is.

- What's the wall for? I mean...

- Well, people are raised,
you know...

How you grow up can affect that,
and you know...

- Yeah, but Kyle, I've given
so many opportunities,

which she's translated...

- No. I'm saying
that's why she didn't tell you.

'Cause she already has
a wall up,

so then when that happened,
she kind of just shut down.

- What I thought would've
happened is

what I think normal people do
is go, "Oh, wow. Okay."

- "I'm sorry."
- "Maybe I did,

"and maybe I'll give her a call
and just say,

'Did I hurt your feelings?'"

- "Gosh, I'm sorry
if I did that."

- And that would've changed
this entire thing.

- Yeah,
but you have to mean that.

- I just don't understand Rinna
jumping up like that too

and saying, "F... off."

- I just got in her face
when I flipped her off.

[laughter]

- Do you know if PK knows
that she stood up

and put her finger
in my face... you have no idea.

That would drive him insane.
Insane.

- Oh.
- I can feel it

calling our name, Lisa.

[heavenly music]

Chanel. - Should we go in?

- I don't like to see anyone
upset.

- You're going home.
Come on. You're going home.

[all laugh]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Take your wig off.
Take it off.

- Oh. Do it. Keep doing it.

- Take it off.
- It's kind of hot. [laughs]

- There we go. Okay.

- Well, I'm sorry I got... ugh.
I apologize for yelling.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- No apologies.

- We're proud of you.
- Scooting over to you.

Look at your body language.

- I'm cold, baby.
I'm not cut off. I'm just cold.

- [laughs]
- I'm not being...

I'm just cold, Eileen.

Thank you. - Aww.

- Thank you, Eileen.
- I love you.

- I love you, too.
- I really do.

- Thanks.
- I see Erika's vulnerability,

and I think I always have.

You're such a good person.

- Thank you. Thank you, babe.

- And having that big explosion
in front of everybody is

probably more embarrassing
than anything for her.

- Thank you for supporting me.

- Always.

- Erika, it's so nice
to get to see you.

- [indistinct], Erika.
- Thank you.

- Great woman.
- Thanks for the tears,

you bitch. [laughing]
- Whatever.

- I'm not doing...
Do we get to cry

on the set at the soap?

- It could happen.
- Yes. They love it when you cry

on the soap... are you kidding?

- I got to go to bed.
You're exhausting.

Most exhausting people
I've ever known.

- You guys are killing me.
- I thought we were on vacation.

- [laughs]
- I've cried more

than I have all year,
and I hate you all.

Good night. - [laughs]

♪ ♪

[line trills] - Hi, baby.

- Hi, my love.
- How are you doing?

- Ugh. I'm okay.

How are you? How are my babies?

- I'm missing you.
The babies are great.

Jagger's having his dinner.
- [sighs]

- He asks after you a lot, babe.

- I'm dying... dying being away
from the kids.

It's equally as difficult
to be away from PK

as it is to be away
from my kids.

I have that same dependence
on that love.

It's tough. It is tough.

Hong Kong is proving to be more
of a confessional than anything.

Um, last night we all went
on a boat,

and Erika said, "Oh, you're
desperate for my attention.

You're desperate
for my friendship."

[both laughing]

- Yeah, you pray for it
every day, honey.

- I don't actually believe
she could be this deluded.

- Honey, she has a lot
of people around her

that give her that attention.

Therefore, she assumes
that everybody wants

to be her friend.

It's delusional
on a significant scale.

- No. I know. She has been
holding this resentment

from Pantygate.

I said, "My God, Erika. It was
not intentional to hurt you."

- You're not a nasty person.

You made a joke, and it was
based on something she did.

You know, you're there
to support Lisa.

Don't let them behave
in a certain way to you.

- Please.
I birthed both of our children.

There's nothing I can't handle
in these parts.

[laughing]

- Coming up...

[all scream] - Shut up!

- That is so mean!

- We're locked in a box, Lisa.
- Ah!

- I don't want to do this!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- But you have to walk
so far down.

- I should've texted you
and got it for you.

I was actually thinking...
- Yeah, but I was busy.

- Good morning.
- Hello.

- Hi, ladies.
- Hello.

- Tea and coffee.
- Oh, hello.

- Do you mind that I'm leaning
against your chair?

- You can do whatever you want.
You can sit on my lap

if you want.
- Thank you. Hi, Dorit.

- Hello, Eden.

- Okay, so,
we're going to Buddha.

- Yes.

- I think that's really
exciting.

- I've actually been there.

- Hi, you guys.

- Hi, guys.
- Hello.

- Hi, ladies.
- Good morning.

- How are you doing?
- Everyone ready for the Buddha?

- Hello. We are ready.
- Buddha, Buddha, Buddha.

- Buddha.
- We have a cheer.

- I was told
that there are ox there.

Like, sacred oxen that are there
that walk around.

- And that we have to walk
up a ton of steps to get there.

Is that what's happening?
- Yeah. Like 245 steps.

- What?
- You'll get your cardio in

today. - Absolutely.

- Oh, my God. 245 steps?

Let's go.

- Dorit is being a downer.

Like this one.

- Okay, well, let's do it.
We've got two cars.

- All right. We'll all go.
You guys go. Let's go.

♪ ♪

- Go, lady.
- Where are we?

- ♪ Let's go to the Buddha ♪

- Do we go up?

- After last night, I'm thinking

that maybe a trip to the Buddha
will be a calming,

spiritual experience...

One that we all
most definitely need.

- Oh, my God.
This is so freaky. Aah!

- Oh, come on.
You go snow skiing.

- Oh, my goodness.
- What the hell?

Why is the bottom like that?

- Oh, it's glass-bottomed!

- Whoa.
That's a little bit freaky.

- I already woke up
with anxiety.

Now I'm gonna be flying
in the air

looking through
the glass bottom.

- You've been snow skiing.
It's like this.

- I don't look
out a glass bottom.

[Lisa screams] [both scream]

- Shut up!
- That is so mean!

- Whoo! Let's take a picture.
- This is really cool.

- Oh, my God.
- This is really dope.

- Oh, my God.
- Whoo!

- Oh, my God.
- I'm really freaking...

I don't like this.

[all screaming]

- You guys,
you're stressing me out.

- Lisa, please.
- Aah!

I mean,
there's something about me...

Maybe it's the sadistic part
of me...

That makes me want to jump
up and down

and rock this carriage

and get them squealing
like little piglets.

[all scream]

- This is definitely
a little bit of torture.

- You know who's freaking out
right now?

I'm telling you Eileen is
freaking out right now.

- Really?

[calm music]

- This is so...
- This is so cool.

- This is really...
This is really cool.

- I'm gonna go see Buddha.
- Peaceful up here, actually.

It's very peaceful.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.

- I don't want to do this.

I'm thinking, you know,
the gondola's gonna break.

Of course. You always think
the gondola's gonna break.

We're locked in a box, Lisa.

The glass bottom's gonna
come out.

I'm gonna slip through.

- Aah!
- How long is this ride?

I'm going through all these
thoughts in my head,

and it's not fun.

My legs are numb and tingling
all the way up to my tweeter.

[all laugh]

- Did you just call your
vajay-jay your tweeter?

- Yes.

- I'm about to fall asleep.

- You should not be feeling
like this going to a Buddha.

- This is bitchin'.
- Way bitchin'.

- This thing goes up backwards
and forwards all day every day.

I mean, it's way more dangerous
having dinner with Lisa Rinna.

- [laughs]

- Oh, here it is! Look!
- There he is. He's massive.

- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my God.

- Wow.
- Yeah. It's impressive.

- Oh, my God.
- When are we... can we get out?

- You look like pussies. Really.

That's exactly what you are.

- This is one of those things
that you're like, "I did it.

It's done.
It's never happening again."

- Were you scared?
[together] No!

- Were you?
- I'm not even taking

the gondola down
if I don't have to.

Do I have to?

[thunder rumbling]

[Asian-inspired music]

♪ ♪

- Where are we going?
- Damn it.

- Whoa! Aah!
- Oh, my God.

- It's getting worse.
- Oh, my God.

- They did say
it was gonna rain.

- You said 30% chance, and I
thought that meant drizzle.

- Why do we have sunglasses on?

- 'Cause we're
from Beverly Hills.

- Clearly,
this is Buddha's revenge

on a bunch of angry, stupid
chicks invading Hong Kong.

And I am dressed
completely inappropriately

in sandals and a summer dress.

Gosh, I feel pretty.

Thank you, Buddha.

- My poor shoes!
- Oh, God.

- We look so dumb.

My white pants and my
Miu Miu shoes are flooded.

That's what's really, like,
the most depressing.

My whole look is ruined.

They're never gonna be the same.

[all screaming]

- Where's everybody else going?

- I don't understand
- They're inside

like smart people.

- Aah!
- There's a cow.

- Where's a cow?
- Yeah, it's a local celebrity.

- Oh, let's go and see him.

He's a beautiful boy.

This boy is very attractive,

and just because I have
eight dogs and eight swans

and seven turtles
and two little ponies,

it doesn't mean that there's not
room for this little guy.

One, two, three.
Go smile everybody.

Get in the picture.

- Hey, listen,
you've got to tag him.

Ask him if he has an Instagram.

[all laughing]

- This isn't a little animal.
This is, like, an ox.

You're not gonna make him do
anything he doesn't want to do.

- Shall I straddle him?

- He could knock you the
f... out. I wouldn't do that.

- Coming up...

- I feel like there's
an elephant at the table.

- Well, did you apologize
to Erika?

- Are f... ing kidding me?
Really?

- No, she hasn't apologized.

[rain pattering]

- Wow. This is so cool, though.

- It is so cool.

- What's this up here?

- Oh, we got to say a prayer
up here, I think,

with the incense.

- You betcha.
- I wanted a big one.

I need a big blessing.

- I have definitely burned
a lot of incense in my life.

I'm from Southern California,
people.

- Ask for a big blessing.
- Where's the marshmallows?

I'm praying...
I've gone down a few rungs.

You know,
you start with world peace.

Now I'm just kind of, like,
praying for Hong Kong peace...

amongst the chicks.

Did we do something wrong?

- I'm making a blessing for you,

and for me,
and for everyone here.

- I think it's a little cheeky

that you decided
to take six blessings

when you were supposed
to have one.

- We came to see the largest
Buddha in the world.

What is she doing?
Brushing your eyebrows?

- Yep.
- Portia, good job.

- What is he doing?
Shaving his face?

- No. Portia's brushing
his eyebrows.

- Are you guys having fun?

- We are. Buddha is amazing.
We're about to walk up

to see it right now.

I love you. Good night. Mwah.

- Good night.

[calm music]

♪ ♪

- Gorgeous. Stunning.
Awe-inspiring.

- So, we've come this far.
I think we should

kind of follow through,
don't you?

- Let's go.
- Also, some people need

to touch this Buddha

to bring some serenity
into the group.

Come on, then. - Onward!

- And she does it in heels.
- Oh, my God. I am so soaked.

- It's not freezing.
It's just wet.

- A little chilly.
A little bit chilly.

- And I'm soaked.
- But beautiful.

- My poor shoes!

- Between the rain and the fog
and the mist and the Buddha,

it has to have some impact
on these women.

It has to.

- Really cool, right?
- Right?

- I know. Very cool.
- Wow.

- Unbelievable.

- It's breathtaking.

- I mean, look at that.
- Incredible.

- He's amazing.

- Let's go eat.
Let's go get out of the rain.

- Come on.
- Let's go get some souvenirs.

♪ ♪

- I'm really tired, Car.

- Just take a little power nap
while I do your lip.

- I can't.
I got to go to this dinner.

- You got this.

- Carlene's with me.

She's my glam squad
for the trip.

And I don't know
what I would do without her.

I just feel like I'm
around a few loonies.

And, funny enough,
Erika has her glam squad,

and at this moment,

it's just about the only thing
we have in common.

It's not easy. Like, even today
when we were at the Buddha,

Erika and Lisa Rinna...
Not a single word.

No engaging. I mean, I literally
felt like, "Oh, my God.

I'm with the Mean Girls."

[upbeat music]

- Erika.
- I know, honey.

- Let's go.
What are we doing tonight?

Are we serving her
her jewel tones moments?

- Yeah. I think we're gonna go
jewel tones, berry lip.

- I cannot pull the looks off
without the glam squad,

because Erika will be
in ponytail,

jeans, and a T-shirt,
and no makeup,

'cause that's who I am
at my core.

I should take this to dinner
and just be like...

[all laughing]

"What was that you were saying?
I cannot hear you."

- Just block it.
- Just be like, curse words.

- It's a shade blocker.
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Stupid... what, this sleeve...

- What if I just fell?
- No!

- Just, like, all of a sudden
did somersaults.

- Have you gone shopping?
You need to get your Chanel bag.

- You know, I know. I know.
- We can do that tomorrow.

- Tomorrow I guess we're gonna
have some time.

- Tonight I'm channeling
Samurai Barbie:

Kenzo dress, topknot, braids.

I mean, it's Hong Kong at night.
Got to give 'em some sass.

- Where are all the girls?
- Hello!

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hey, gorgeous.
- Hi, girls.

- Kyle's here!
- Let's go!

♪ ♪

- Wow. Gorgeous.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, I love this backdrop.

- Oh, this is beautiful.

- Come on.
- It is.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. This is...

- Here, I'm gonna get
this building behind you.

- This is really impressive.

- Well, anyway, cheers.
Water cheers, girls.

- No.
- That's bad luck.

- Bad luck.

- [laughs]
- We got to wait.

Toasting with water is
bad luck. Hello!

Not yet. Choo!

It's downhill from here.

I mean, we are f... ed.

- Are they just bringing us
stuff? This is exciting.

- This one is a green asparagus
with white sesame.

We have a little spicy.

This is a crystal [indistinct]
with scallion and garlic sauce.

- Thank you.
- I'm chowing down, folks.

Here I come. - What is this?

- Pomelo... this is like
Chinese grapefruit.

This is vegetarian roe.

- Vegetarian.
- Oh, vegetarian.

- Okay, let's try this.

- I feel like there's
an elephant at the table.

- Well, did you apologize
to Erika about what happened

with the whole thing
that went down in the beginning?

- Are you f... ing kidding me?
Really?

- Well, Lisa,
that's between Dorit and Erika.

- No, she hasn't apologized.
- Okay.

- So, what? You weren't
wearing any underwear,

and somebody had a flash.

Who cares?

- Listen, I understand
you're her friend,

and I hear you defending her...

- No, but I'm trying
to minimize it to you and...

- No. You're trying to
minimize my feelings.

- No, I'm not. It's no big deal.

I think Erika's making
such a huge deal of it.

If she'd just let it go,
laughed it off,

it would've passed by now.

- Don't minimize my feelings.

- I'm not minimizing
your feelings. I'm trying

to minimize the importance
of it to you.

She should've shaken this off...

like she did her knickers.

- By the way,
I was trying to help you.

- But, Eileen, when I'm
actually saying to her,

"Do you feel that way?"

and she's saying,
"No, I'm okay,"

what am I supposed to do
at that point?

- Shut your mouth. That's what
you're supposed to do.

Drop it and not talk about it
and not make it a big deal,

like I would've done for you.

Common f... ing courtesy.

I would've said, "You know what?
Maybe I don't know,"

and I would've brought it to you
privately,

but you chose to make it
a big deal.

He chose to make it a big deal.

"Oh, Erika. Look at her.
She puts herself out there.

She must really want to do it."

F... you. No way.
That is not right.

- I definitely do not remember
at all...

- No, no. You can't play
the "don't remember."

- You can't.
- You can't play

the "don't remember."

- I find it really hard
to believe that Dorit

can't remember, because Dorit's
talked to everybody

about the Pantygate.

When I couldn't remember,

I didn't go talk to anybody
about it.

I just couldn't remember.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you trust your husband?

- Implicitly.
- Okay.

Trust him that you just feel...

- Implicitly, Lisa.
You don't have to ask me twice.

- Okay.
- Why would you say that

after how upset you got with my
sister at saying something...

Like, hey, that's a weird thing
to say.

- No, no, no.
It's not a weird thing to say,

because why would she be
so threatened by Erika

if you really trusted
your husband?

- Coming up...

- Don't ever talk about my kid
again.

- She would never mean it
like that.

- Shut the f... up.

[dramatic music]

- Do you trust your husband?
- That's a weird thing to say.

- No, no, no.
It's not a weird thing to say,

because why would she be
so threatened by Erika

if you really trusted
your husband?

Just being real.

- That has nothing to do... Rinna.

- Oh, come on. That's not fair.

- For you to say something
like that

after you freaked out
about my sister saying,

"Don't talk about my husband,"

- Did you just say, "Let's talk
about the husband"?

- Let's not talk about
what you don't want out.

Everybody you know...

- You never go near my husband!

- I'm saying to talk about
someone's husband like that...

That's what I don't like.

- But wait. You shouldn't talk
about someone's wife like that.

- No. Stop!
- Wait a second. Wait, wait.

- You guys, shh. Quiet down.
- You guys, listen.

I asked... I asked Dorit
if she trusted her husband.

- Exactly. What's the intent
behind that question?

- She's threatened by Erika
flashing her husband.

- No, she's not threatened
by her.

- Yes, she is.
- No, she's not.

- It was a mistake.
Don't bring up the husband.

Hello? You of all people
shouldn't bring that up.

- Wait. Why are we giving
all of this deference to PK

and none to me?

- I'm not saying that.

I'm saying don't mess
with marriages.

Don't mess with marriages.
- Don't mess with my marriage!

- I know.
- F... that.

Don't mess with my marriage.
- I get that.

- And that's exactly
what you did.

Oh, look. I'm out there flashing
everyone's f... ing husband.

- Bullsh...
- No. Don't f... with my mar...

You're worried
about her marriage?

F... that!
Don't f... with my marriage!

- No. I don't like Rinna saying
"You don't trust your husband."

- Exactly. Me too.

- Leave everyone's husbands
out of it.

- You know what?
It's deeper than this

is what I'm trying to say.

It's not just about Erika
having on whatever or not.

What was really f... ing going on
that night?

- Erika, you're the most
out-there person I know.

- Yes, but it's a stage persona.

I'm a... I'm a real, like,
introvert.

- What happened?
- You know what was really

going on there?
- Tell me. I want to know.

- You know what was really
going on that night?

It was seizing upon a moment,

turning it, spinning it,
and making me out to be

a f... ing slut... - Why?

- Or a whore...
- Why?

- Or trying to seduce
someone's husband.

You fill in whatever f... ing
adjective you want.

- You guys tell me why. Why?
- And you know what?

It's at my expense,

and I'm the one that has to live
through that.

- No one was looking
to make you out to be

all the things that you...

- But you did. But you did.

You did. - Who cares?

- The only thing I care about is
the repercussions of it.

- But what are
the repercussions?

- I have to explain
a lot of sh...

That sucks.

I'm gonna have
to explain this to Tom,

because it's gonna get around,
and here's the issue with that:

something that was innocent
was taken

and made into something
that it's not.

And unfortunately, people don't
want to listen to that.

This lives, and this grows.

They would rather listen
to bullsh...

They would rather go
with sensationalism.

They would rather say,
"Yes, she did it on purpose"

instead of saying,
"You know what?

She probably didn't,
and I feel bad for her."

That's why it's ugly.

- He's gonna believe you.
A thousand percent.

He not gonna question it.

- It's annoying
to have to deal with that.

- I shouldn't have to do that.

- I can see where she would be
concerned by that.

Mauricio would not like that,
for sure.

- I told you I was
the most sensitive.

- I'm right behind you.
- It's funny in the moment

when it dies in the moment.

It's not funny when people's
husbands become involved.

It's a bunch of bullsh...

- Erika, I need to say something
to you,

because I didn't know all this,

and I feel very bad.

And particularly what you just
said right now

about your husband,
because that... I didn't...

- Oh, now you thought about it?

Then you know what you can do
for me?

You can apologize to my husband.

You can apologize to my husband

for f... ing me
through all this sh...

And then I'll be square
with you.

You can apologize to him
and say, "You know what, Tom?

I f... ed up."

- Okay.

- And then your husband can
apologize to him, too.

[dramatic music]

- You can ask me to do whatever,

and if I want to do it,
I'll do it.

- Yeah, but you know what?
PK knows the truth.

- I don't run PK.
I... if he wants to do that...

- You don't? You don't run PK?

- Erika.
- You don't run PK?

- I'm certainly not gonna say,
"PK, go call Erika's husband

to apologize."
- I would do that to my husband.

- I would. I would call.
- Listen.

If he chooses to do that...

- I'd be like, "Hey,
I did somebody really wrong

and I need your help."

- Dorit, she's in pain.
- Why have you not said

a single word to me?
- Dorit. Dorit.

- Can you just let me have
a conversation with her?

- Dorit, do you see
that she's hurting?

- Lisa.
- Why are you screaming my name?

- Dorit.
- Just be quiet for one second.

- Dorit.
- Oh, my God.

- Connect to her.
- Can you let me

have a conversation?

- Try to f... ing listen, then.
Listen.

- Okay, settle down.
Settle down. Settle down.

- I mean, I genuinely think

that Lisa can't physically
keep her big lips shut.

- Guys, no. Guys, listen.

- I mean, I don't know.
When your lips are that big,

can they just not stop moving
or something?

What is this?

- You guys, why don't you listen
for a second? Guys.

- I'm talking to her.
We're talking together.

- Listen with your heart.
- Stop, Lisa.

- We are having a conversation.
- Okay.

- Please.

- I don't have anything else
to say.

I'm done.

- I don't believe it.

♪ ♪

- This sucks.

- Erika, I am extremely sorry
if I hurt your feelings.

It was never intended
to hurt your feelings.

I swear on my mother's life.

It's not really a big deal.

- No. You made it a big deal.

- No.
- That's not fair.

- You made this a very big deal,
Dorit.

- You're right,
but you know what?

I really don't think she meant
this in a malicious way.

And I don't think
she really understood

what she was getting into.

- Eileen, I love you.
- I don't think she's evil.

- Eileen, I love you.
No one's ever called her evil.

- She's already saying sorry,
so then what do you want then?

- No, I mean, it is what it is.

- So there's nothing she can say
or do that would make it okay?

- Not really.

- But she didn't...
She didn't kill your child,

and she didn't, like...

- Hey, Eileen?

Let's not do that.

- So you're not ready for that.

- I'm not doing sh... right now.

- Okay.
- All right?

I don't have to forgive anyone.
- You don't have to do anything.

- So let's not do that.

And don't ever bring up killing
my child again,

because my child could
get killed.

- Okay, I know.
I didn't mean it that way.

- No. My child could get killed.

- You're right.
I didn't mean it that way.

- What do you mean
"killing my child"?

- 'Cause he's a police officer.

I'm saying she didn't commit,
like,

some horrible, heinous crime.

- Right.
- But also, at a certain point,

we're all human...

- Eileen, don't ever bring up
my kid again.

- Okay. I didn't mean...
- Don't ever do that.

- I didn't mean it that way.

Figure of speech.

- Eileen, your kid doesn't
put on a uniform every night

and put his life out on the line
for people he doesn't know.

- I didn't mean it that way.

- Don't ever talk about my kid
again.

- But she didn't talk
about your kid.

- I didn't talk about your kid.

- Shut the f... up.

- Don't ever talk about my kid
again.

- But she didn't talk
about your kid.

- Shut the f... up.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- You don't know

what I deal with every night.
- I don't. Actually I don't.

- That's really insensitive.

Your kid's not out there.

[dramatic music]

Don't you ever do that again.
- I won't do it.

- Don't you ever talk
about anyone

that puts on a uniform...
- I won't.

- And defends or serves
their public.

F... you for that.

- I'm sorry.

- [crying]

- I'm really taken aback
by Erika's reaction.

- [crying]
- Take a deep breath.

- It's like someone's
taken over Erika's body.

- She loves you.
She didn't mean it like that.

- She actually adores you. She
would never mean it like that.

- And poor Eileen's sitting
there like, "What have I done?"

- [hyperventilating]

Don't ever talk about my kid
again.

- Okay. We're okay.

- My son is under fire
every night.

- That's right.
- Especially in this climate.

- You know what?
- I'm not gonna tolerate

that sh... out of any of you.

- Nobody's doing anything
to you, Erika.

- And I don't bring it up,
because you know what?

He's an adult,
and that's his choice.

[slams table] Don't ever
f... ing criticize that.

- Okay, baby.

It's okay.

- [crying, breathing heavily]

- Do you want to walk away?
- No. I'm fine.

- Okay. All right.

- You know what? I want to take
a moment to honor her son.

- No. That's good.
Please don't do that.

- Okay.
- My family's not looking

for that.

My son isn't looking for that,

and I'm not looking for that,

which is why I don't talk
about it.

Because, you know, I could.
I could come and I could say,

"Oh, my God. I'm so scared,"
and "Oh, my God. I'm so this."

But you know what? I don't.

I think every mother that sends
their loved one off to work

knows that harm can come
to them.

You know,
people lose their lives.

I don't want to talk about it.

You know, it struck a nerve.

That's the one thing you can't
say to me.

Don't talk about killing my kid.

Can't take that.

- She adores you.
She didn't mean it like that.

- She wasn't saying that.
- She did not mean that.

- Really? "It's not
like she killed your kid."

My kid could very easily
be killed,

and that is the truth
that none of you face here.

- I've never meant anything
about your son.

You know I have
the utmost respect for him.

- Mm-hmm. Sure.

Cool.

- Wow.

- I have to change the subject
for a minute.

- Oh, no. [laughs]

- I'm gonna just
move it away for a second.

- Just, please, I'm begging you.

- I just have to ask you
a question.

I'm just...
- One more question, here we go.

- Yeah, I'm gonna.
I'm gonna just say it.

I'm leaving, so.

This is my last night
in Hong Kong.

I have a QVC date,
and so this is my last chance

to really... get everything out.

What I want to know is,
when I was at your dinner,

you all got up and left.

Everyone said, "Dorit, you need
to get touched up,"

and you all left at the table.
Why?

Do you know why?

- After dinner?
- Yeah.

- We do that after we're done
with dinner.

- But, I mean... but I...
I was there sitting by myself.

- I'm going to ask PK
why this became such an issue.

- I don't know...
What does that mean?

- I don't even know.
- I don't know.

Have you ever been
at a dinner party

where you're sitting there
and the entire table gets up?

- Maybe they hated you.
- [laughs]

- I'm just wondering.

- What are you insinuating, is
the better question?

- Were people doing coke
in your bathroom?

- Oh, come on.

- Are you suggesting that I got
up from the dinner table...

- No, no.
- And went to do drugs?

- All you have to say is "no."

- No.

- If someone said that to me,

that is a horrible accusation.

- I would be jumping
across the table.

- For Lisa Rinna
to sink this low

is so offensive it's disgusting.

Come on! - I'm sorry!

I have to be honest about it.

- Lisa!

- Next time on

"The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

- My house is a coke den!

I've got two little babies,
but they live in a coke den.

- Low blow, Rinna.

- I don't care... you know low
blow better than anybody, hon.

- You really do.

- I think with regards to Rinna,

she's, like, one person one day

and another person
in another moment.

You don't really know
who you're gonna get.

- There's a term for that.

It's called "schizophrenic."

- [gasps]
- Oh!

Both: Bitch. - Oh, my God!

It looks perfect.
- What do you think tonight?

You're going
to have a great time?

- Well, I hope so.

You seem very melancholy
tonight.

- There's very clear tension.
- Oh, wow.

Absolutely gorgeous.

- To learn more about
the Housewives,