The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - Stronger Than Ever - full transcript
- This season on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- Ooh, ooh.
- ♪ Let's ride ♪
- Ah! Don't look down.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Hey, guys, look...
- Ms. "I Don't Want to Take Off
My Sh...," yeah!
- This is like living
on a whole nother level.
- Stunning and gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- We're in Mykonos, bitches.
- Oh, sh...!
- Cheers. Welcome to Hong Kong.
- Cheers.
- You could have tagged him.
Ask him if he has an Instagram.
- Welcome to Punta Mita, Mexico.
- Whoo!
- This is the way hanging out
with girlfriends should be.
- Tonight, we should
do wife-swapping.
- Breast exam. Sex.
- Erika, I will need
some underwear.
- I don't have any.
- Oh. Oh!
Nothing bothers your enemies
so much as forgiving them.
- I never said anything
about your husband.
Let's get the story straight.
- Yes, you did. How dare you?
Are you kidding me?
Let's talk about your arrest.
- The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.
- What's the big f... ing deal?
- If you f... with me,
I will be a bitch.
- If you act like a total bitch,
you are shown the door
really quickly.
- You're inserting yourself
into something
that's not your business.
- I don't like bullsh...,
Dorit, and that's what
I think you are.
- Then why don't you just
f... ing say it?
- I just did.
- What is your f... ing problem?
Stop coming after me.
- Lisa Rinna needs to
sew her f... ing lips shut.
- That was not fair, Lisa.
- That's f... ed up to say that.
Stop talking. You talk too much.
- This means war.
- This sh... is ugly.
- She could be struggling.
- I'm having a hard time.
- You don't know
what I deal with every night.
- She is close to death.
[upbeat music]
- The crown is heavy, darling.
So just leave it
where it belongs.
♪ ♪
- I may be two people,
but I'm not two-faced.
♪ ♪
- My advice to you:
don't hustle the hustler.
♪ ♪
- I speak no evil
but I see and hear everything.
♪ ♪
- When you've traveled
the world,
you can speak in
any accent you want.
♪ ♪
- I'm an expert on luxury
and I can always spot a fake.
♪ ♪
- Can you move?
Excuse me.
You guys are all over the place.
Why are you so needy today?
Hello.
- Are you lying
on your lazy ass?
- I have been laying
on my lazy ass.
You would be horrified, because
I'm wearing Birkenstocks,
but they're cute.
They're rose gold.
Do they allow Birkenstocks
in Pump?
- No.
- [laughing]
Who's gonna be there?
- My friend Dorit
and her husband, PK.
I don't think you know them.
- Oh. I don't know them,
but I know of them,
because Boy George told me
about them.
He loves them.
He spoke so highly of them.
I've always been
the biggest fan of Boy George.
When we did
"Celebrity Apprentice,"
we hit it off right away.
He was always talking about
his friends Dorit and PK
and how much I would love them.
Ends up that they were
also friends with Lisa and Ken.
So everybody knows everybody
in Beverly Hills.
Okay, darling, I will see you
tonight at Pump...
in my Birkenstocks.
- No.
♪ ♪
- Hey there. What's going on?
- Oh, the usual, you know.
Nothing much.
- Oh, working?
- It takes so much time, yeah.
- Okay, what is your schedule
like today?
- Pretty good.
Got to run to the court.
- Tom has an incredibly busy
professional life.
My life, professionally,
is growing.
- Your song is up.
- 14 last week
and 8 this week.
- And 8 this week, yeah.
- Yeah, so it's good.
We're doing good.
In the last year, Erika Jayne
has grown exponentially.
♪ I feel like I'm a star ♪
♪ On the rise ♪
- Everyone pushes spots.
Music fades out.
- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪
- I wanted to give you
your birthday present.
- Right now?
- Yeah.
- It's not a problem
that I'm busier.
You just have to max out those
times that you have together.
I'm gonna... - This birthday is
quite a celebration.
- It's my birthday,
and I can do whatever I want.
- Just like every other day.
You do whatever you want.
- Well, yeah.
Yeah, but... but I'm gonna do it
even extra this day.
I'm turning 45, so I decided
I would have, like,
you know, a big blowout.
This is kind of it.
You're definitely
in your mid-40s at 45.
It's all going downhill.
[laughing]
Fast.
- You have a lot of things
to put on your ears,
and you have a lot of things
to put on your fingers.
- Yes.
- So I decided
to give you something
to put on your eyes.
- My eyes?
- Yes.
- What does that mean?
- Here's a painting
by Marc Chagall.
- [chuckles]
Chagall is one of Tom's
favorite painters.
Is this it?
And his paintings can go for
over a million dollars, easily.
Oh, wow. Tom, that's beautiful.
This is gonna be pretty.
Where do you want to hang it?
- It's yours.
Wherever you want to hang it.
- It's mine or it's ours?
I'm wondering, like,
is this really a present for him
that he's kind of sold me on
or what,
but, you know, I'm down.
- Now, then, just to be
on the safe side,
'cause I couldn't really tell
if you were gonna like this
or not, here's another present.
- Is this a legal doc?
You gave me a legal doc
for my birthday?
You took the hint.
[laughing]
That's amazing.
- Is that great?
- It's wonderful.
Oh, I've wanted this ring
for a while.
Let me tell you.
Like, I hunted down
the last one.
- What is it, Cartier?
- Like a...
- Okay, yeah.
- Cartier's beautiful.
- Thank you.
- What did you do to get it?
- I did what every woman
does to get it.
I'm good.
There's a third panther.
He's made of black jasper.
- It's on order at Cartier.
It'll be here in two weeks.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I'm hunting him down too.
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you, baby.
Wait. [laughs]
I think I cleaned up.
♪ ♪
- Hi. Bon appétit.
Do you want to sit
next to me, darling?
- Of course.
Another seat for Giggy, then?
- Oh, the little doggies can sit
up with their paws on the table.
You naughty little boy,
sit down.
Look, all his fur's
nearly come back. Look at it.
- It's amazing.
- Giggy, what do you think
of your best friend?
[dog groans]
So I have to introduce you
to Harrison.
He went from the pound
to the baths.
He spent 14 hours a day
in a cage,
and then he came home to me,
and we began
our passionate affair,
didn't we, Harrison?
Thank you.
Cheers, darling.
- What time are the others
getting in? Cheers.
- They'll be here in a minute.
♪ ♪
- Hi, guys.
- How are you?
- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hi, people.
- Are you gonna
behave yourself tonight?
- Never.
- Oh, thank God for that.
Thank God for that.
- Why wouldn't I?
I always...
I always behave myself.
- I've never seen that yet.
- And did you have a good day?
- I did.
I've been at Villa Blanca
all day.
How are you, my dear?
- I'm good, honey.
I went out this afternoon
and chose
what I was gonna wear
for Dorit's birthday.
- What are you gonna wear?
- I took David Thomas,
George's stylist with me.
I'm wearing black.
- Why do you need a stylist?
- He doesn't need a stylist.
He has one at his fingertips.
- I can't... I can't do anything
on my own like that.
- Ken and I have known PK
for quite a few years,
when he was actually married
to somebody else,
and then he married
the wonderful Dorit.
I love her.
I don't want to say
she's an upgrade.
That would be bitchy,
but I kind of just did.
- I love the way
Ken looks tonight.
- I was going to, actually,
but I went for black.
I was gonna wear white.
- Why? You want to be the star.
- Stop hitting on my husband.
- I love my husband.
I'm never interested in anyone,
let alone someone else's...
- Really?
- Never, ever, ever...
- Never?
- Lisa, bring me
the most stunning man. - Okay.
Both: Bring me
the most stunning man.
- I promise you, I'll be like...
- The one thing I really love
about PK and Dorit
is also the relationship.
They just absolutely love
each other so madly.
- Women like a little bit
of teasing.
- Oh.
- Baby.
- Mind you, they've only
been together
a few years, so we'll see.
- Lisa, it's no problem for you
to do that, but understand,
I will be bringing hot chicks
for Kenny, then, if...
- Oh, shut up.
- You're going down that avenue.
[laughter]
- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
♪ ♪
- Do you see them anywhere?
Oh, here they are.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Very nice to meet you.
- This is Dorit.
- So beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.
So are you. Hi. How are you?
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
I've heard so much about you
from Boy George.
- And us you... and us you.
- I was just gonna say...
- Yeah.
- My husband
is a talent manager,
and he manages Boy George.
No. - The house looks amazing.
- Doesn't it?
I love all the flowers.
He does a great job.
[laughing]
Boy George, for the better
part of the last two years,
has lived with us.
George is like family.
He's like a sister...
Maybe not so much.
He's more like a husband,
but, like, a really, really,
really fun, gay husband.
- When I was a teenager, I used
to try to dress like him,
and people used to say
we looked alike.
- Oh.
- I used to copy his makeup,
and we would kind of look alike.
There was the Madonna wannabes.
I was the Boy George wannabe.
- How long have you guys
been together?
- We just got married
a year ago March.
We've been together
for nearly five years.
- Wow.
- PK and I met very randomly
in a bar in New York City.
- And where are you from?
Are you Israeli?
- My father's Israeli.
My name is obviously...
- Dorit, yeah.
[both speaking Hebrew]
- Dorit.
- I wasn't raised
speaking Hebrew,
but I love languages.
- Yeah.
- So I wanted to learn Hebrew.
I wanted to learn Spanish.
I wanted to learn...
- Don't you hear
an English accent, though?
- She probably picks up a little
bit of your accent, and just...
- I mean, so many times,
I pick up Lisa's accent.
Definitely, there's an accent.
I think it's a little
like a Madonna situation
when she was married
to Guy Ritchie.
- No English people think
I sound even remotely English.
- No, but maybe Americans...
- They're like, "Oh, no,
she sounds really American."
- No, not at all.
- But you know, I think... I...
- Do you hear it?
People do tell...
PK, people do tell me I have...
But I don't understand.
- I don't even think it's
entirely being married to PK.
To make a very long story short,
I worked for a swimwear company
in Italy.
So I moved back to Manhattan,
and I launched
my own swimwear brand.
- What was it called?
- Dorit, my namesake.
Like, my... we were so creative.
- Really thinking
outside of the box.
- I kind of do it all.
I'm a businesswoman.
I'm a mother. I'm a wife.
Basically.
- Do you know
it's Erika's birthday party?
- I'm invited.
- Dorit was having lunch
with me,
and then Erika called me.
- I'm turning 45.
I'd love to have you there.
- Well, I'm sitting here
with my friend Dorit
right now, having lunch.
I could bring her.
Do you want to go?
- Bring anyone you want.
- But I'm really liking her.
- Excuse me. We love a party.
We're riding together.
Do you want to ride with us?
- Do you want to...
- Oh, no.
- I just stole your friend.
- Don't worry.
I've got Faye Resnick.
It's fine.
You two go together.
[laughter]
- Please, can you just ask them
for a little bit more water?
- Yeah, of course, darling.
- How did you guys meet?
- I've known Lisa
a lot longer than...
- That's true.
- Than Dorit's known her.
- Yeah.
- That is true.
We actually met
at a friend's wedding
in Turks and Caicos.
We were put in the same house.
- She was your roommate?
- Yeah, we shared a house.
- We shared a house.
It was the four of us.
- Oh.
Who got the better bedroom?
- They did, 'cause they got
there early.
- Whoever gets there first
gets the better room.
We had the best room in Dubai,
though, you have to admit.
- Did you like Dubai,
by the way?
- Coming up...
- Lisa Rinna
and Lisa Vanderpump,
I'm sure they're gonna
be okay eventually.
Don't you think?
[upbeat music]
- We had the best room in Dubai,
though, you have to admit.
- Dubai wasn't
a pleasant experience.
- Such a great trip, wasn't it?
- Did you like Dubai,
by the way?
- We loved it.
- Not the trip,
but did you like it?
- [laughing]
- You're evil.
Look at you,
laughing your socks off.
- No. Okay, but don't talk
about the negative part.
- Where was the positive part?
- Laughing and peeing our pants.
That was fun.
- Oh, you mean laughing,
peeing your pants,
when I went back
to the room crying.
Is that what you mean?
- She was a little tortured
now and then,
but we had fun and laughing.
- I felt like I was there
every night,
and all I got
was an hour's phone call,
tears and crying and everything.
- No. We were having fun
before all that.
- I had a really
miserable time in Dubai.
Rinna kept going on at me,
saying I told her
to say something
about Yolanda's health,
which wasn't true.
- When I mentioned
the Munchausen,
you came out after,
and you asked me
why I didn't bring Kyle up.
- I didn't.
I said I thought you were
gonna bring all of us into it.
- We've all talked
about it, though.
- But we've never
said Munchausen's.
- I think the whole thing
with Yolanda
sort of tainted our friendship.
It was almost, like,
divided up into three groups.
It was very strange.
- Rinna was just
unusually aggressive,
and Eileen was kind of
backing her up.
- You can't apologize.
Just learn to say you're sorry.
- I don't like the idea
of women treating women
terribly and bullying.
- Eileen also
kept going on at me
about mentioning
the word "affair,"
which she had had,
and it was just
a bloody nightmare.
- Can I have a dog?
Oh, you, you, you.
I know Lisa so well,
and she does hold onto things
for a long time.
- Can you twist his ruff round?
- Oh, please.
I didn't even know that existed.
I don't think
she's losing any sleep
over Lisa Rinna and Eileen.
I mean, is she sitting there
with a voodoo doll?
Maybe.
- Come on, then.
- Go to Mama.
- That is sexy, boy.
♪ ♪
[horn honking]
♪ ♪
- I got you the new one.
- [exclaims]
You did not.
- This is the absolute
latest model.
I give you... - Harry!
Harry Hamlin, it's like,
for the last time...
And you brought it up
with a bow.
It's all about having
a good time now in my life,
and I feel like last year
was really negative
on so many levels.
[both chuckling]
- And I just want joy.
My father passed away
January 21st,
and we knew it was coming.
- I haven't been well.
- I know.
I want you to feel better, Dad.
- I would like to feel better.
- Nobody likes to not feel good.
- You always said you wanted it,
like, blacked out and stuff.
So check it out.
- Oh, my God. I can...
I mean, I just can't even.
When my dad died,
it just changed my outlook
on every single thing
that goes on in my life.
I don't have time to worry
about what happened
last year with Vanderpump.
I'm like, "Are you kidding me?
I've got two teenage daughters
I'm raising."
I like your earrings.
- I got bullied
for the other one.
- I didn't like it.
It was really long, like...
- Okay.
- When did you get
a cartilage piercing?
- Literally two years ago.
- I should get a free pass
right now
for just about everything.
I do a darn good job
with having to have the life
that I have and do what I do
and keep calm raising
two teenage girls.
Is it really fast?
- It's unbelievable fast.
- Like, that's why
I don't have time
for a whole lot of bullsh...
Right now.
- All right, baby, here we go.
- Oh, I love it.
♪ ♪
- We're with that really
awesome-looking blonde lady
over there.
Hi, gorgeous.
- Hey.
- Nice to see you.
- You look good.
- Thank you. So you do.
- Happy birthday, belated.
- Oh, thank you.
You have one coming up,
don't you? Wow.
- The big 45.
- Erika is a hoot.
She has this whole thing,
this persona
that's bigger than life,
Erika Jayne.
- Excuse me.
You're like a baby to me.
- Come on, stop.
- But, basically, she's just
really a girl's girl.
She's got a lot of gays
around her, gay guys,
but she's really a girl's girl.
Except for, like,
the aging thing,
which sucks,
I love getting older.
And my mom...
She was actually saying
that she felt the same
as she did
when she was 21 inside.
- I know, but what no one knew
was that you lost your mom
over the reunion. - I know.
- You look gorgeous, Eileen.
- Thank you. So do you.
- How do you...
How do you feel now?
- I really feel okay.
It... I don't know if that's bad.
- I'm there for you
if you need me.
- Thank you, honey.
I didn't want anybody to know
'cause I didn't want it
to color anything.
- I understand, but the fact
that you sat there
and were so clear
and so in control,
that's a real testament
to you and your will.
I mean, that's incredible.
- Yeah.
- I don't know that
I could have done that, Eileen.
- Well, I didn't know
I could, either.
Losing my mother's taught me
that certain things in life
just don't really matter.
They're not that important,
and I suppose in that way
it's affected how I feel
about Lisa Vanderpump
and everything that happened,
because it's trivial.
Look at you, hot mama.
- [exclaims]
- Oh, how are you?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Pretty good.
- You look incredible.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a 911 situation.
- What happened?
- Oh, no, what happened?
- I forgot lip gloss.
[laughs]
- I thought you really meant it.
We were talking about something
really serious. I'm like...
- We were talking
about families.
- We were just talking
about moving through grief,
and maybe I need
to see somebody.
You know what I started doing?
I started doing that Cryohealth.
It was such a rush.
- I can't get into freezing
my ass off like that.
Oh, my God. I can't take it.
- Give me the robe.
- I'm gonna do round two.
If you're up for it,
you can come, or I'll see you
back at lunch.
- No, no, no.
I'll meet you for lunch.
- We'll meet you at lunch.
- I really liked it.
- Have you seen Yolanda?
- I saw Yolanda a few weeks ago.
- I texted with Yolanda,
but I haven't seen her.
- I talked to Yolanda
this morning.
- How's she doing?
- She says she's 75% better.
- I'm so happy to hear that.
- She was in Tahiti.
But she sounds good.
Yolanda's doing good,
but she's taking some time
to rest and recover
and really just focus
on herself,
which is what she needs.
- Can I get one more glass
of wine?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- What's going on
with you ladies?
- Working, negotiating
my contract to "The Y and R."
- You look gorgeous.
- What's up with your show
at TV Land?
- We start filming in August.
- How'd your casting go?
- We're knee-deep
in casting right now.
A few years ago,
I was having lunch
with some friends
that were producers
of "Shameless,"
and I was telling stories from
my childhood, and they said,
"Hey, let's make that
into a TV show."
- Please tell me you're excited
about it. Please tell me.
- I am very excited.
It's very surreal.
Like, you know,
my friend said to me,
"Oh, my daughter's up
for the part of you"...
- I love that.
- And she sends me a picture of,
like, "Produced by," you know,
"Dawn Wells, Kyle Richards,"
and I was like...
My husband will say,
"Can you believe...
This is so exciting.
I'm so proud of you,"
and I think,
"Yeah, this is so exciting.
Wait, is this really happening?"
- So exciting.
- You're gonna love it.
- It's incredible.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Enjoy.
- Thank you so much.
Oh, my God. Kyle, I'm wearing
the pants from your store.
- I need to go shopping
at your store, by the way.
- I love them.
- They do.
Well, I was just thinking Lisa,
'cause her restaurant's
right there. - Yes.
- Are you okay
with Lisa Vanderpump?
- Yeah, of course. I don't care.
- Even with, like, Lisa Rinna
and Lisa Vanderpump,
I'm sure they're gonna be okay
eventually, don't you think?
To me, I'm like,
"Oh, they'll be fine."
Even though Vanderpump is
probably more angry at Rinna,
I think she's going to be more
likely to forgive her sooner,
because Rinna's a little
easier to manipulate.
- Anything can be worked out if
everybody wants to work it out.
- Well, that's
an operative word, "everybody."
This is a very slippery slope,
because...
- I'm having déjà vu.
Here are some words
that I don't care
if I don't ever hear again:
bipolar...
- She could have put it
out there that you were bipolar.
- Manipulative...
- She talked about, you know,
you being manipulative.
- Munchausen's...
- True Munchausen syndrome...
- Sniper...
- I think she's
a sniper from the side.
- Own it...
- Own it, Lisa. F... ing own it.
- I know what she's about.
I know who she is.
That's not gonna change.
Whatever. I'm fine with that.
- You would always
be civil and...
- Absolutely.
- I know that.
I know that about you.
- Absolutely.
- Right.
- Very plain and simple.
- Coming up...
- What a dump.
- Is that my beloved?
Boy George...
He's a big part of the family.
I mean, he lives here,
for crying out loud.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I like lots of eyelashes.
- Oh, yeah.
- Tiff?
- Hi, sweetie.
- We've got so much
to go through.
- Okay, we've got to talk
about schedule for Europe.
Through Milan,
are we going Paris or London?
- We'll go from New York to
Milan and from Milan to London.
- New York to Milan... okay.
- PK and I moved
to Beverly Hills
about two years ago.
We're gonna skip
Andrea Bocelli in Milan.
We are constantly surrounded
by celebrities
all the time,
given what we do for work,
and Beverly Hills
was a better place
for us to live.
The weather doesn't hurt.
I really want, like,
a large block of time
to be able to be with the kids.
Little Jagger's quite jealous
when he sees me with Phoenix.
He's just kind of like,
"No, that's my mommy."
I have two little munchkins.
Who's the prince of the castle?
My Jagger, who is a little over
two years old...
Who's number one?
I love you, beautiful girl.
And little Phoenix,
who's 4 1/2 months.
Can you believe she gained
2 1/2 pounds in a month?
Currently, my staff
include Peggy,
who's baby nurse,
Neila, Jagger's main nanny,
and then I've got a few nannies
for Jagger and Phoenix
to fill in,
three full-time housekeepers,
and Tiffany,
who's my husband's assistant.
- God, there's so much
to go through.
- For those who will criticize
me having a big staff,
I'm not exactly lounging
in bed eating bonbons.
- What a dump.
- Is that my beloved?
- Oh, my God.
- Georgie!
- Oh, here she is.
- Boy George, he's a big part
of the family.
I mean, he lives here,
for crying out loud.
Am I okay to represent you
in "Jimmy Kimmel" tonight?
- Yeah, you look great.
- Yeah?
He's my daughter's godfather.
[exclaiming] - I know.
He's wearing our necklace.
- He's Uncle George.
He's not really
Boy George in this house.
- You know, I've just come off
the road with an American band.
They wanted to play me a song.
It started, and it was like
a car crash, and I stopped it.
- Don't get me wrong.
He has his moments.
Diva does come out,
and no one does it better
than Boy George.
- The people that did
meet-and-greets,
they paid, like,
$500 every night.
- And what do you do
in a meet-and-greet?
- George is just basically
turned into Mickey Mouse.
People stand in line.
- I'm like the pope.
- He's silly. He's fun.
He's in our bedroom
watching "Game of Thrones"
with my husband and I.
- I'm so excited for you.
It's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
Welcome home, babe.
♪ ♪
- Line those lips.
Line those lips.
DSLs. What color lip?
- Metallic New.
- I love a '70s frost.
Disco glamour.
- Decided I would have a Studio
54 party for my birthday.
Studio 54 was a fabulous time.
It was fun.
This is when people
were really being free
and cocaine wasn't addictive
and... allegedly.
You need to get up here
so we can get you dressed.
- Got it.
- I got your, like,
outfit all laid out and ready.
♪ ♪
This is rad. - Amazing, right?
We're gonna have a lot
of boozy... so get ready.
- A lot of boozy Suzies.
I would appreciate it
if you poured heavy.
When it comes to the budget,
I'm just telling them, you know,
"I want this. I want this.
I need this,"
and whatever it comes out to,
you know, hey, I'm only 45 once.
- Cheers to the birthday girl.
- Thank you.
- Well, let's have fun tonight.
- Yeah, we will for sure.
- Okay.
- Whatever. Who cares?
It's my f... ing party,
I'ma do whatever I want.
- Okay, so you're gonna be
at the front gate.
- Okay.
- "Name, please."
And then velvet rope...
- Boom.
- Yeah.
- And then they'll get
a glass of champagne.
- Miss Thing, there is
no guest list today.
- There you go.
There's nothing else to do.
Oh, my God.
Pussy Control... she's fabulous.
The late artist Prince actually
gave her the name Pussy Control,
and they did
a whole thing together,
and that's the song
"Pussy Control."
That's Sharon.
- Look.
Okay, light-up floor, obvi.
For sure. - Nice touch.
♪ ♪
- I... that's
a little bit of boob.
- I know. Can you imagine if I
said there's a lot of boob?
I'd basically be
wearing pasties.
- When I look back at the '80s,
it was very important to me,
because it was the end
of my single days.
He's gonna shag you
before you get up the stairs.
- Why would you think I haven't
already shagged her, Lisa?
- Is that why you're late?
I remember I did
the "Poison Arrow" video.
It was big hair.
It was big shoulder pads.
It was kind of big everything.
I did that video
the night before I started
dating my husband.
Six weeks later,
we were engaged.
Cheers. - Cheers.
♪ ♪
- [laughing]
I went to Studio 54.
- You look fantastic.
- Thank you. So do you.
- I love the hair.
- Iman was there, and she was
married to a basketball player.
That's all I remember.
Iman was there.
- This is actually mine
from the early '80s,
which I haven't worn since then.
- I have...
Okay, I have a black one
like this.
- Shut up. You do?
I was heavily into disco.
You know, spandex pants.
I did a modeling job
in roller skates.
I had the side ponytail.
[cork pops] - Oh!
- I should bring
my roller skates with me,
so if I don't like seeing
Lisa Vanderpump,
I can just skate away.
How's Delilah?
Is she modeling still?
- She's in New York right now.
She just shot
"Teen Vogue" today.
- Wow.
- The modeling for Delilah
came about very organically.
She started to take pictures.
She started to really like it
and have fun doing it.
Elite saw her on Instagram,
and they signed her on the spot.
- She must be so excited.
- I have always said,
"Please, whatever you do,
do what makes you happy."
- Did they send her out
to New York, then?
- Yeah, they're sending her on
castings, and she's doing stuff.
- Good.
- It's exciting.
♪ ♪
- Oh, they're here.
- Oh, I love what
you're wearing.
- Sit down.
- Look at these shoes.
- I know.
- I have them.
I almost wore them under here,
but I wore these instead.
I thought you...
- Oh, they're pretty.
- I used to go to Studio 54
with my mom and my sister.
The first time they dragged me...
This is the craziest story.
- You must be 12.
- I was 10.
My sister Kat used to take me
with Andy Warhol.
- Wow.
- He used to carry
a Pentax camera,
and he would just be talking,
and then he would, like,
take a picture of you like that
when you didn't even know,
and he'd go, "Mm-hmm,"
and he would just snap
as he was talking to people.
- You definitely had
a recluse type of mother.
- She was, like,
obsessed with us.
We were her whole life.
She didn't believe in rules.
She did what she wanted
to do, so...
There I was, hanging out
with Andy Warhol and Rick James
and everybody having
a good old time...
Just another Saturday night
when you're ten years old.
- Shall we go?
- Let's go.
- Are you ready?
♪ ♪
- Are you on the list?
♪ ♪
[indistinct conversation]
♪ ♪
- ♪ You made me believe
I was so far away ♪
♪ Pushing me deeper ♪
The girls look so good.
♪ Striking me down ♪
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
Yes, ladies.
You're an early bird
to the party.
Where's your cocktail?
Thank you.
♪ I surrender myself ♪
♪ I'll never be free ♪
Good, right? - No kidding.
- It's great. It's great.
- Hi, gorgeous.
- Thank you for coming.
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
Oh, my God. Hello.
- Ladies, are you on the list?
- I don't know. I hope so.
- I believe you are.
- [exclaims]
- Champagne?
- Yes.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God, baby, my twin!
- How are you?
- Be careful.
I've got makeup on my body.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hi, darling.
- So nice to meet you.
- You guys came!
Thank you for coming.
- We're so excited to see you.
- Do you have a drink?
Let's have some fun.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Whoo!
- Eileen, oh, my God, I love it.
- Happy birthday!
- Yes.
- My baby girl.
I love your disco balls.
- I love big balls.
- I mean, here's to big balls.
- I know you got 'em.
[laughter]
- Coming up...
- We went for it tonight,
you know?
- You always go for it.
- Oh, good. Game on.
[Erika Jayne's
"How Many?" playing]
♪ ♪
- I love that you can play
your own music
at your own party.
- I know, right?
- Don't you love this song?
- Yes.
- You hit the jackpot.
- I did more than she did.
- All right.
- It's a special
little something.
I want you to open it.
- What?
Are you serious? - Yeah!
Do you want to be on my show?
- F..., yeah, I want
to be on your show!
Are you serious?
- Awesome.
- Oh, my God!
Who the f...
Gets this kind of gift?
That is so cool.
Okay, you're gonna
help me out, though.
Like, I don't know
what the f... I'm doing.
- I will totally...
We're gonna rehearse.
- You're gonna coach me
all the way through it?
- This is the coolest
present ever.
- You get to say
what kind of part you want.
If you want a day,
if you want a couple days...
- What kind of role would I like
on "Young and the Restless"?
I just don't want to f... up.
- I suggested a nun
at one point,
which I thought
would be kind of funny.
- It's always fun to play
the bad girl.
- Maybe a
high-powered attorney...
- There's nothing better
than a bitch and, like,
a really good catfight.
- I just don't want to get
over there and, like,
you know... you know, like, ugh.
- That's what I'd like to see.
- "What... who hired this bitch?"
- But definitely it's got to be
in a scene with me.
- What if they fire Eileen
'cause I suck?
- I have to work with her.
- Like a Krystle
and Alexis fight on "Dynasty"
between Eileen and Erika...
There we go.
Let's write that.
You'll be a natural.
- I remember you told me
that your grandma
watched soaps, right?
- Well, that's kind of, like,
where my name comes from,
my mother and... yeah.
- I know. both: Erica Kane.
- My mom was pregnant with me
when "All My Children" came on.
You know, Erica Kane was, like,
the diva, and there you go.
- Now that really makes sense.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Look at this amazing
little outfit.
- Welcome. You are on the list?
- We hope so.
- Let me check.
- You're wearing my outfit.
That's what I was gonna wear.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- How are you?
- I'm good.
Thank you for coming.
- Remember, I was having...
- Yes, yes.
- Lunch the other day
with my friend Dorit?
My very good friend, Dorit.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- And this is PK.
- Hey.
- Hi. How are you doing?
- Thank you for having us.
- Nice to meet you, darling.
- Where's your Studio 54 outfit?
- Look at you, man.
- Have you got something
Studio 54 underneath?
- I hope so.
- So how are you doing?
How are you feeling
about tonight?
- You know, I feel
really good about tonight.
- I'm okay too.
- It's okay to be okay.
- Yeah, and I think
it's more of, like,
how they're gonna take you.
- That's not our problem.
How she reacts, it's her thing.
Can't control
anybody else's choice.
I can't control
Vanderpump's choice.
I can't control Eileen's choice.
All I can do is do what I want.
I'd rather be better
than bitter.
That's my new motto.
I'd rather be better
than bitter.
- Exciting.
- Oh, my God!
I'm almost
your doppelganger, but...
- My hair's light now.
- How long have you lived
in Beverly Hills?
- Two years. I'm a New Yorker.
- She's from New York.
I'm from London.
- Well, I grew up
in Connecticut,
but I didn't
stay there very long.
I lived in Europe
for a long time.
Then I moved back to New York.
I definitely consider myself
a New Yorker above anything.
I had a lot of reservations
about moving to Beverly Hills.
A little bit
too much carrot juice
and a little bit
too much Botox...
- It's Dorit's birthday today.
- The big one.
- What's a big one?
- 40.
- I'm 45. There you go.
- It did not feel like
I was gonna mesh well,
but I do like meeting
new people.
I've settled perfectly,
obviously.
[laughing]
Well, you invited me
to your party,
and I'm having my birthday party
on Saturday.
- So you've got to come to that.
- Of course. I would love to.
- Yeah? Oh, I love it.
- What's going?
- Have you said hi to...
- Hi.
- Have you said...
- Well, hello, Lisa Vanderpump.
- Hello, Lisa Rinna.
This is my friend, Dorit.
- Hi. I'm Dorit.
- Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you, as well.
- How are you?
- Good, thank you. How are you?
- Good.
- I like your...
- I... we went for it tonight.
- Oh, you always go for it.
[dramatic music]
- Are you well?
- I'm well.
- The kids are well?
- Yeah.
Everything's going on.
It kind of puts things
in perspective.
- Oh, my...
Well, that wig didn't get pulled
from the back, did it?
'Cause I might
give it a tug later.
I think it would
be well deserved.
- Oh, good. Game on.
We can start taking the piss
out of each other again.
Yay.
That's what we do best.
But anyway... - No.
- Nice to meet you...
- Yes.
- And don't listen
to her too much.
- You know, you meet new people,
and you form an opinion,
and, you know what, Lisa,
I'm a big girl with my own mind.
- Yes, of course.
- But I might give her
a hint occasionally.
- All right.
We all know what happened.
You can't change that,
but you can change
how you react to it.
Nice to meet you,
and nice to see you.
- Exactly.
Lisa Rinna and I,
we used to have
a lot of fun together,
but she changed that dynamic.
She made that decision.
So we'd have to do a lot of work
to get back to where we were.
- All right.
- Hello, Eileen.
- I'll wait up.
- Hi, Lisa. How are you?
- Is everybody...
- All these new children.
- Oh, fun.
[overlapping chatter]
- I am struggling
with the situation
with Lisa Vanderpump.
I am.
- Don't let her take my wig off.
She's gonna try
to pull my wig off.
So if she pulls
my wig off, tell me.
- Things change. People change.
Lisa Vanderpump and I
could actually have a meeting
of the minds at some point.
You never know.
I mean, look what happened
after the Vietnam War.
Everybody's going to Vietnam
on vacation now.
- Oh, I feel so important, going
in this little area like this.
- Come in here.
- Oh, thank you.
I love that. I love your place.
- This outfit, by the way,
is super.
- Thank you.
- Does she look like
the part or what?
- I mean, like, Bianca Jagger's
coming in on her white horse.
I was thinking you were
gonna come in on a white horse.
- You know what? I thought
about it for a hot second...
- Did you?
- And then I thought,
"Don't fall off."
- You're so funny.
- I said to Lisa,
you can get one of
your little miniature ponies.
- I should've borrowed...
- Can I borrow one?
- Yeah, there you go.
- I said hello to Eileen,
but she was very cold.
I don't know why. - Really?
- Yeah. I said, "Hello,"
and clinked a glass,
but... but anyway,
it doesn't matter.
Let's not just get caught up
in a bitchfest.
- Coming up...
- Erika?
- Yes?
- I have a birthday present
for you.
- All right.
[gasps] My God!
[upbeat music]
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, we do, but we asked
the bartender, and he told us...
- Honey, I can get myself
a drink.
- Look at Ken.
Ken has a whole wardrobe
of clothes for tonight.
My husband's like,
"I... this is all I've got."
Meanwhile, Ken comes out.
I'm like,
"Where'd you get that?"
He's like, "My closet."
[laughter]
Let's go mosey around.
♪ ♪
- I'm starving.
Where's the dinner?
Go up into the kitchen, get
the cake, and bring it out here.
- Fine, I'll get the cake.
- Shaking your asses, singing...
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
- Whoo! Arms up...
- Ahh!
- Is Kevin Mylrea dancing
with Lisa Rinna on a box?
- Happy birthday, lovely.
- Thank you so much.
- Ha!
- Oh, my God.
You are strong.
- He went to go look
at a plane yesterday.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- Wow. What kind?
- A G4 SB... beautiful plane.
- It's a lot nicer
to go to the G4.
If you're a little late,
the plane's waiting.
- Yeah.
- If you're a little early,
okay, let's go.
- Let's get out of here.
- And there's no pat-downs
or anything like that.
- Why...
- Unless you were flying.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- There we go.
The birthday girl...
- Oh, my God.
Are we loving her with this wig?
- So fun, right?
- I love it.
Where's your cocktail?
- I need one.
- Come on.
- Let's get one.
- You have a cocktail.
- I know.
I'm the only one that doesn't.
I'm getting a cocktail.
- Okay. Good for you.
- I'm gonna cut in line for...
Just for a second.
- Absolutely.
- What do you want, madame?
- A little Veuve.
- You know what?
I'll have a little bit as well.
How did it go with Lisa?
- Fine.
- Okay, good.
- I'm sure that
there's things to talk about,
but life's too short.
- Well, here's to you.
- Thank you, baby.
Here's to you. Happy birthday.
- Thank you for coming.
- I wouldn't miss it for
the world. I wouldn't.
- I want you to get up there
and do that right now. Look.
- I'll do that.
- Just do it right now.
- Ken and PK
are virtually salivating,
and Mauricio's there, as well.
- Look at Mauricio.
What the hell?
- I could do that too. Whatever.
- Where is Mauricio?
What the hell?
- He's salivating.
- Why are they all over there?
- Notice how they've
positioned themselves
perfectly in the party here.
- I mean, like,
with your tongues hanging out...
- I was gonna say,
you've kind of...
You've kind of positioned
yourselves perfectly.
- Honey, you know me.
You know me.
- Do you want to get up
and dance?
- No. I'm actually hungry.
- I'm starving.
- Are those jeweled panties?
- I have to have some type
of moment that's exciting.
- Oh, I love it.
- So I just threw it under.
- Yeah.
- Where are you from, Erika?
- I grew up in Atlanta. Yeah.
- I'm going next week.
- Yeah?
Oh, what are you doing there?
- George is performing.
- He loves you, by the way.
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow.
- No. We're gonna do something.
We're gonna do something.
- Wow. Okay.
That just threw me
for a loop. Okay.
- Wow.
I was... it threw me for a loop.
- To hear that Boy George, like,
even knows who I am...
Let's get serious, right?
Like, this is an icon...
Knows who the f... I am
is kind of a big deal.
- You have the life, Tom.
- It is nice.
- Yes, it is.
- Erika?
- Yes?
- I have
a birthday present for you.
- [gasps] My God!
My mother... oh, my... Mom! Mommy.
- Hey.
- I'm shocked my mom is here.
That's my mom!
Like, that's cool.
Thanks, Mom, for coming out.
- You've been hiding
in the bedroom?
- All day.
- I'm so excited you're here.
Can I introduce you to everyone?
- Sure.
- My mom and I are probably
the closest now
that we've ever been.
You guys, you guys,
you have to meet my mom.
- This is your mom?
- She surprised me here.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- She was 18 years old
when I was born
and raised me kind of
as a single mom.
- Cheers. She's adorable.
- Kyle, this is my mom, Renee.
- She's sweet.
- You're lying.
- No, this is my mother.
- No wonder you're so gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Well, I'm a little shorter.
- It's okay.
My mother and father
were married,
and he left when I was
about nine months old.
My mom was a young mom,
full of life.
She's creative.
She's a real inspiration.
She's a super cool chick.
- Yeah, she is. Look at her.
- I can tell.
- Look at her outfit.
- She's a good time.
- Really?
- I just adore her more
every day.
- Look at... this is my mother.
- Mom... Renee...
- This is my mother.
This is Clyde.
- Are you kidding me?
- Thank you.
- Isn't she gorgeous?
You know, my mother,
my grandmother,
myself, we are all artists.
You know, they were always
at the shows.
They were at recitals,
celebrating the artist within.
This is so cool.
Is my makeup falling off?
- No. You look great.
I love your dress.
- Jose, Castillo,
come meet my mom.
My grandmother's
very close to my mom,
and I spent my summers
with my grandmother's house
in the country.
I don't think I wore clothes
till I was three,
'cause I just, like,
ran around in my underwear.
So not much changed.
[laughs]
You have to meet everyone.
- Okay.
- You're going to the kitchen?
Why? What's in the kitchen?
- Food.
- Is the food not out here?
Are they not passing
hors d'oeuvres?
- They walked around plenty
with the food.
They just missed it. - They did?
I'm kind of shocked
that the food isn't out here.
When it comes to the food
for this party,
I mean, I don't really think
anybody cares.
- The party's great for my diet.
- I think we've got to wait
for a cake.
- Hi, Dorit.
- How you doing, Eileen?
- Having fun?
- We are.
We've been trying
to get a drink...
Very unsuccessfully, though.
- Oh, no.
- What would you like, baby?
- I want a beer.
- [sighs]
Lisa Vanderpump is not
welcoming me with open arms.
More like a cold shoulder.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Oh, thank you, Eileen.
- Is that ours?
- Cheers.
- Cheers. Happy birthday.
- Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
- Good.
- I've popped already
in all kinds of places,
and I feel like 30 more seconds,
it could genuinely come out.
- Oh, no. I know, right?
- I don't normally wear
my hair this way.
- Well, neither do I.
- [laughs]
- It seems like maybe
Lisa Vanderpump
doesn't like me
talking to her friend.
I don't know.
- You know what?
I'm having my birthday party
on Saturday night. - Really?
- I'd love for you
and your husband to come.
I'd like to see you there.
- Thank you so much.
That's very sweet of you.
- Yeah.
Eileen seems very nice,
and I'm thinking,
in the back of my head,
"I know that Vanderpump has
had issues with her in the past,
"and I'm finding it
very hard to think
"how this could be
the same woman
that's actually done
this to her."
She seems nothing but sweet
and nice.
I look forward to it.
- Nice to talk to you.
- Good to talk to you as well.
- Coming up...
♪ ♪
- ♪ Painkiller ♪
- This time, join 'em. Go.
- I'm coming back
stronger than ever.
[upbeat music]
- Why didn't you
get dressed like that?
- Because I don't have tits
like that.
- I want to see you in one
of these dresses next week.
- You know, you won't be seeing
me at all if you don't shut up.
[all cheering]
- One, two, three.
All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Finally, we see the cake.
I mean, it's not my idea
of dinner,
but, I guess, let them eat cake.
All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Where's the food?
- I know.
- It's really weird.
Yes, there's cake.
- Oh, can I have some?
- It looks like
it's not edible cake,
and I'm just thinking,
"How can I eat it?"
'Cause I'm so f... ing hungry.
- I did see a deviled egg.
I should have grabbed it.
- Make a good wish.
- No, honey.
My wish came true
when I met you.
Thank you. all: Aww.
- I love you.
- Aww.
[all cheering]
- I love you.
This has been a great night.
It's new friends, old friends,
dancer friends,
creative friends.
My mom is here.
My husband's here.
Like, super cool.
Feels good. It feels good.
45 feels good.
♪ ♪
♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- This time, join 'em. Go, Lisa.
- No, I'm...
- Lisa.
Lisa, go and dance.
- ♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- I think maybe
Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna
would probably be thrilled
if I wasn't part of
this circle of friends.
♪ ♪
But no. I'm coming back.
Happy birthday.
- Thank you so much.
I really appreciate
you saying that.
I appreciate that.
- And I'm coming back
stronger than ever.
- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
- Next on the "Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...
- Five, six, seven, eight.
♪ ♪
- I approach things
in an in-your-face way.
My dancers have to do the same.
- Hey!
- [laughing]
- Good boy.
I'm not riding anything else.
Might as well
get a horse, right?
Oh, his winkie's out.
Put that back in.
- How does one even
find something like that?
- Where does one?
- I'm not telling you
any of my secrets.
- I know you're not.
She's like, "It's a joke."
- I meant to say, I'm...
I'm sorry.
- Can I welcome you all
to Dorit's Buddha Lounge?
- Oh, my...
- Wow. Okay.
Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- Ooh, ooh.
- ♪ Let's ride ♪
- Ah! Don't look down.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Hey, guys, look...
- Ms. "I Don't Want to Take Off
My Sh...," yeah!
- This is like living
on a whole nother level.
- Stunning and gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- We're in Mykonos, bitches.
- Oh, sh...!
- Cheers. Welcome to Hong Kong.
- Cheers.
- You could have tagged him.
Ask him if he has an Instagram.
- Welcome to Punta Mita, Mexico.
- Whoo!
- This is the way hanging out
with girlfriends should be.
- Tonight, we should
do wife-swapping.
- Breast exam. Sex.
- Erika, I will need
some underwear.
- I don't have any.
- Oh. Oh!
Nothing bothers your enemies
so much as forgiving them.
- I never said anything
about your husband.
Let's get the story straight.
- Yes, you did. How dare you?
Are you kidding me?
Let's talk about your arrest.
- The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.
- What's the big f... ing deal?
- If you f... with me,
I will be a bitch.
- If you act like a total bitch,
you are shown the door
really quickly.
- You're inserting yourself
into something
that's not your business.
- I don't like bullsh...,
Dorit, and that's what
I think you are.
- Then why don't you just
f... ing say it?
- I just did.
- What is your f... ing problem?
Stop coming after me.
- Lisa Rinna needs to
sew her f... ing lips shut.
- That was not fair, Lisa.
- That's f... ed up to say that.
Stop talking. You talk too much.
- This means war.
- This sh... is ugly.
- She could be struggling.
- I'm having a hard time.
- You don't know
what I deal with every night.
- She is close to death.
[upbeat music]
- The crown is heavy, darling.
So just leave it
where it belongs.
♪ ♪
- I may be two people,
but I'm not two-faced.
♪ ♪
- My advice to you:
don't hustle the hustler.
♪ ♪
- I speak no evil
but I see and hear everything.
♪ ♪
- When you've traveled
the world,
you can speak in
any accent you want.
♪ ♪
- I'm an expert on luxury
and I can always spot a fake.
♪ ♪
- Can you move?
Excuse me.
You guys are all over the place.
Why are you so needy today?
Hello.
- Are you lying
on your lazy ass?
- I have been laying
on my lazy ass.
You would be horrified, because
I'm wearing Birkenstocks,
but they're cute.
They're rose gold.
Do they allow Birkenstocks
in Pump?
- No.
- [laughing]
Who's gonna be there?
- My friend Dorit
and her husband, PK.
I don't think you know them.
- Oh. I don't know them,
but I know of them,
because Boy George told me
about them.
He loves them.
He spoke so highly of them.
I've always been
the biggest fan of Boy George.
When we did
"Celebrity Apprentice,"
we hit it off right away.
He was always talking about
his friends Dorit and PK
and how much I would love them.
Ends up that they were
also friends with Lisa and Ken.
So everybody knows everybody
in Beverly Hills.
Okay, darling, I will see you
tonight at Pump...
in my Birkenstocks.
- No.
♪ ♪
- Hey there. What's going on?
- Oh, the usual, you know.
Nothing much.
- Oh, working?
- It takes so much time, yeah.
- Okay, what is your schedule
like today?
- Pretty good.
Got to run to the court.
- Tom has an incredibly busy
professional life.
My life, professionally,
is growing.
- Your song is up.
- 14 last week
and 8 this week.
- And 8 this week, yeah.
- Yeah, so it's good.
We're doing good.
In the last year, Erika Jayne
has grown exponentially.
♪ I feel like I'm a star ♪
♪ On the rise ♪
- Everyone pushes spots.
Music fades out.
- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪
- I wanted to give you
your birthday present.
- Right now?
- Yeah.
- It's not a problem
that I'm busier.
You just have to max out those
times that you have together.
I'm gonna... - This birthday is
quite a celebration.
- It's my birthday,
and I can do whatever I want.
- Just like every other day.
You do whatever you want.
- Well, yeah.
Yeah, but... but I'm gonna do it
even extra this day.
I'm turning 45, so I decided
I would have, like,
you know, a big blowout.
This is kind of it.
You're definitely
in your mid-40s at 45.
It's all going downhill.
[laughing]
Fast.
- You have a lot of things
to put on your ears,
and you have a lot of things
to put on your fingers.
- Yes.
- So I decided
to give you something
to put on your eyes.
- My eyes?
- Yes.
- What does that mean?
- Here's a painting
by Marc Chagall.
- [chuckles]
Chagall is one of Tom's
favorite painters.
Is this it?
And his paintings can go for
over a million dollars, easily.
Oh, wow. Tom, that's beautiful.
This is gonna be pretty.
Where do you want to hang it?
- It's yours.
Wherever you want to hang it.
- It's mine or it's ours?
I'm wondering, like,
is this really a present for him
that he's kind of sold me on
or what,
but, you know, I'm down.
- Now, then, just to be
on the safe side,
'cause I couldn't really tell
if you were gonna like this
or not, here's another present.
- Is this a legal doc?
You gave me a legal doc
for my birthday?
You took the hint.
[laughing]
That's amazing.
- Is that great?
- It's wonderful.
Oh, I've wanted this ring
for a while.
Let me tell you.
Like, I hunted down
the last one.
- What is it, Cartier?
- Like a...
- Okay, yeah.
- Cartier's beautiful.
- Thank you.
- What did you do to get it?
- I did what every woman
does to get it.
I'm good.
There's a third panther.
He's made of black jasper.
- It's on order at Cartier.
It'll be here in two weeks.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I'm hunting him down too.
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you, baby.
Wait. [laughs]
I think I cleaned up.
♪ ♪
- Hi. Bon appétit.
Do you want to sit
next to me, darling?
- Of course.
Another seat for Giggy, then?
- Oh, the little doggies can sit
up with their paws on the table.
You naughty little boy,
sit down.
Look, all his fur's
nearly come back. Look at it.
- It's amazing.
- Giggy, what do you think
of your best friend?
[dog groans]
So I have to introduce you
to Harrison.
He went from the pound
to the baths.
He spent 14 hours a day
in a cage,
and then he came home to me,
and we began
our passionate affair,
didn't we, Harrison?
Thank you.
Cheers, darling.
- What time are the others
getting in? Cheers.
- They'll be here in a minute.
♪ ♪
- Hi, guys.
- How are you?
- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hi, people.
- Are you gonna
behave yourself tonight?
- Never.
- Oh, thank God for that.
Thank God for that.
- Why wouldn't I?
I always...
I always behave myself.
- I've never seen that yet.
- And did you have a good day?
- I did.
I've been at Villa Blanca
all day.
How are you, my dear?
- I'm good, honey.
I went out this afternoon
and chose
what I was gonna wear
for Dorit's birthday.
- What are you gonna wear?
- I took David Thomas,
George's stylist with me.
I'm wearing black.
- Why do you need a stylist?
- He doesn't need a stylist.
He has one at his fingertips.
- I can't... I can't do anything
on my own like that.
- Ken and I have known PK
for quite a few years,
when he was actually married
to somebody else,
and then he married
the wonderful Dorit.
I love her.
I don't want to say
she's an upgrade.
That would be bitchy,
but I kind of just did.
- I love the way
Ken looks tonight.
- I was going to, actually,
but I went for black.
I was gonna wear white.
- Why? You want to be the star.
- Stop hitting on my husband.
- I love my husband.
I'm never interested in anyone,
let alone someone else's...
- Really?
- Never, ever, ever...
- Never?
- Lisa, bring me
the most stunning man. - Okay.
Both: Bring me
the most stunning man.
- I promise you, I'll be like...
- The one thing I really love
about PK and Dorit
is also the relationship.
They just absolutely love
each other so madly.
- Women like a little bit
of teasing.
- Oh.
- Baby.
- Mind you, they've only
been together
a few years, so we'll see.
- Lisa, it's no problem for you
to do that, but understand,
I will be bringing hot chicks
for Kenny, then, if...
- Oh, shut up.
- You're going down that avenue.
[laughter]
- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
♪ ♪
- Do you see them anywhere?
Oh, here they are.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Very nice to meet you.
- This is Dorit.
- So beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.
So are you. Hi. How are you?
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
I've heard so much about you
from Boy George.
- And us you... and us you.
- I was just gonna say...
- Yeah.
- My husband
is a talent manager,
and he manages Boy George.
No. - The house looks amazing.
- Doesn't it?
I love all the flowers.
He does a great job.
[laughing]
Boy George, for the better
part of the last two years,
has lived with us.
George is like family.
He's like a sister...
Maybe not so much.
He's more like a husband,
but, like, a really, really,
really fun, gay husband.
- When I was a teenager, I used
to try to dress like him,
and people used to say
we looked alike.
- Oh.
- I used to copy his makeup,
and we would kind of look alike.
There was the Madonna wannabes.
I was the Boy George wannabe.
- How long have you guys
been together?
- We just got married
a year ago March.
We've been together
for nearly five years.
- Wow.
- PK and I met very randomly
in a bar in New York City.
- And where are you from?
Are you Israeli?
- My father's Israeli.
My name is obviously...
- Dorit, yeah.
[both speaking Hebrew]
- Dorit.
- I wasn't raised
speaking Hebrew,
but I love languages.
- Yeah.
- So I wanted to learn Hebrew.
I wanted to learn Spanish.
I wanted to learn...
- Don't you hear
an English accent, though?
- She probably picks up a little
bit of your accent, and just...
- I mean, so many times,
I pick up Lisa's accent.
Definitely, there's an accent.
I think it's a little
like a Madonna situation
when she was married
to Guy Ritchie.
- No English people think
I sound even remotely English.
- No, but maybe Americans...
- They're like, "Oh, no,
she sounds really American."
- No, not at all.
- But you know, I think... I...
- Do you hear it?
People do tell...
PK, people do tell me I have...
But I don't understand.
- I don't even think it's
entirely being married to PK.
To make a very long story short,
I worked for a swimwear company
in Italy.
So I moved back to Manhattan,
and I launched
my own swimwear brand.
- What was it called?
- Dorit, my namesake.
Like, my... we were so creative.
- Really thinking
outside of the box.
- I kind of do it all.
I'm a businesswoman.
I'm a mother. I'm a wife.
Basically.
- Do you know
it's Erika's birthday party?
- I'm invited.
- Dorit was having lunch
with me,
and then Erika called me.
- I'm turning 45.
I'd love to have you there.
- Well, I'm sitting here
with my friend Dorit
right now, having lunch.
I could bring her.
Do you want to go?
- Bring anyone you want.
- But I'm really liking her.
- Excuse me. We love a party.
We're riding together.
Do you want to ride with us?
- Do you want to...
- Oh, no.
- I just stole your friend.
- Don't worry.
I've got Faye Resnick.
It's fine.
You two go together.
[laughter]
- Please, can you just ask them
for a little bit more water?
- Yeah, of course, darling.
- How did you guys meet?
- I've known Lisa
a lot longer than...
- That's true.
- Than Dorit's known her.
- Yeah.
- That is true.
We actually met
at a friend's wedding
in Turks and Caicos.
We were put in the same house.
- She was your roommate?
- Yeah, we shared a house.
- We shared a house.
It was the four of us.
- Oh.
Who got the better bedroom?
- They did, 'cause they got
there early.
- Whoever gets there first
gets the better room.
We had the best room in Dubai,
though, you have to admit.
- Did you like Dubai,
by the way?
- Coming up...
- Lisa Rinna
and Lisa Vanderpump,
I'm sure they're gonna
be okay eventually.
Don't you think?
[upbeat music]
- We had the best room in Dubai,
though, you have to admit.
- Dubai wasn't
a pleasant experience.
- Such a great trip, wasn't it?
- Did you like Dubai,
by the way?
- We loved it.
- Not the trip,
but did you like it?
- [laughing]
- You're evil.
Look at you,
laughing your socks off.
- No. Okay, but don't talk
about the negative part.
- Where was the positive part?
- Laughing and peeing our pants.
That was fun.
- Oh, you mean laughing,
peeing your pants,
when I went back
to the room crying.
Is that what you mean?
- She was a little tortured
now and then,
but we had fun and laughing.
- I felt like I was there
every night,
and all I got
was an hour's phone call,
tears and crying and everything.
- No. We were having fun
before all that.
- I had a really
miserable time in Dubai.
Rinna kept going on at me,
saying I told her
to say something
about Yolanda's health,
which wasn't true.
- When I mentioned
the Munchausen,
you came out after,
and you asked me
why I didn't bring Kyle up.
- I didn't.
I said I thought you were
gonna bring all of us into it.
- We've all talked
about it, though.
- But we've never
said Munchausen's.
- I think the whole thing
with Yolanda
sort of tainted our friendship.
It was almost, like,
divided up into three groups.
It was very strange.
- Rinna was just
unusually aggressive,
and Eileen was kind of
backing her up.
- You can't apologize.
Just learn to say you're sorry.
- I don't like the idea
of women treating women
terribly and bullying.
- Eileen also
kept going on at me
about mentioning
the word "affair,"
which she had had,
and it was just
a bloody nightmare.
- Can I have a dog?
Oh, you, you, you.
I know Lisa so well,
and she does hold onto things
for a long time.
- Can you twist his ruff round?
- Oh, please.
I didn't even know that existed.
I don't think
she's losing any sleep
over Lisa Rinna and Eileen.
I mean, is she sitting there
with a voodoo doll?
Maybe.
- Come on, then.
- Go to Mama.
- That is sexy, boy.
♪ ♪
[horn honking]
♪ ♪
- I got you the new one.
- [exclaims]
You did not.
- This is the absolute
latest model.
I give you... - Harry!
Harry Hamlin, it's like,
for the last time...
And you brought it up
with a bow.
It's all about having
a good time now in my life,
and I feel like last year
was really negative
on so many levels.
[both chuckling]
- And I just want joy.
My father passed away
January 21st,
and we knew it was coming.
- I haven't been well.
- I know.
I want you to feel better, Dad.
- I would like to feel better.
- Nobody likes to not feel good.
- You always said you wanted it,
like, blacked out and stuff.
So check it out.
- Oh, my God. I can...
I mean, I just can't even.
When my dad died,
it just changed my outlook
on every single thing
that goes on in my life.
I don't have time to worry
about what happened
last year with Vanderpump.
I'm like, "Are you kidding me?
I've got two teenage daughters
I'm raising."
I like your earrings.
- I got bullied
for the other one.
- I didn't like it.
It was really long, like...
- Okay.
- When did you get
a cartilage piercing?
- Literally two years ago.
- I should get a free pass
right now
for just about everything.
I do a darn good job
with having to have the life
that I have and do what I do
and keep calm raising
two teenage girls.
Is it really fast?
- It's unbelievable fast.
- Like, that's why
I don't have time
for a whole lot of bullsh...
Right now.
- All right, baby, here we go.
- Oh, I love it.
♪ ♪
- We're with that really
awesome-looking blonde lady
over there.
Hi, gorgeous.
- Hey.
- Nice to see you.
- You look good.
- Thank you. So you do.
- Happy birthday, belated.
- Oh, thank you.
You have one coming up,
don't you? Wow.
- The big 45.
- Erika is a hoot.
She has this whole thing,
this persona
that's bigger than life,
Erika Jayne.
- Excuse me.
You're like a baby to me.
- Come on, stop.
- But, basically, she's just
really a girl's girl.
She's got a lot of gays
around her, gay guys,
but she's really a girl's girl.
Except for, like,
the aging thing,
which sucks,
I love getting older.
And my mom...
She was actually saying
that she felt the same
as she did
when she was 21 inside.
- I know, but what no one knew
was that you lost your mom
over the reunion. - I know.
- You look gorgeous, Eileen.
- Thank you. So do you.
- How do you...
How do you feel now?
- I really feel okay.
It... I don't know if that's bad.
- I'm there for you
if you need me.
- Thank you, honey.
I didn't want anybody to know
'cause I didn't want it
to color anything.
- I understand, but the fact
that you sat there
and were so clear
and so in control,
that's a real testament
to you and your will.
I mean, that's incredible.
- Yeah.
- I don't know that
I could have done that, Eileen.
- Well, I didn't know
I could, either.
Losing my mother's taught me
that certain things in life
just don't really matter.
They're not that important,
and I suppose in that way
it's affected how I feel
about Lisa Vanderpump
and everything that happened,
because it's trivial.
Look at you, hot mama.
- [exclaims]
- Oh, how are you?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Pretty good.
- You look incredible.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a 911 situation.
- What happened?
- Oh, no, what happened?
- I forgot lip gloss.
[laughs]
- I thought you really meant it.
We were talking about something
really serious. I'm like...
- We were talking
about families.
- We were just talking
about moving through grief,
and maybe I need
to see somebody.
You know what I started doing?
I started doing that Cryohealth.
It was such a rush.
- I can't get into freezing
my ass off like that.
Oh, my God. I can't take it.
- Give me the robe.
- I'm gonna do round two.
If you're up for it,
you can come, or I'll see you
back at lunch.
- No, no, no.
I'll meet you for lunch.
- We'll meet you at lunch.
- I really liked it.
- Have you seen Yolanda?
- I saw Yolanda a few weeks ago.
- I texted with Yolanda,
but I haven't seen her.
- I talked to Yolanda
this morning.
- How's she doing?
- She says she's 75% better.
- I'm so happy to hear that.
- She was in Tahiti.
But she sounds good.
Yolanda's doing good,
but she's taking some time
to rest and recover
and really just focus
on herself,
which is what she needs.
- Can I get one more glass
of wine?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- What's going on
with you ladies?
- Working, negotiating
my contract to "The Y and R."
- You look gorgeous.
- What's up with your show
at TV Land?
- We start filming in August.
- How'd your casting go?
- We're knee-deep
in casting right now.
A few years ago,
I was having lunch
with some friends
that were producers
of "Shameless,"
and I was telling stories from
my childhood, and they said,
"Hey, let's make that
into a TV show."
- Please tell me you're excited
about it. Please tell me.
- I am very excited.
It's very surreal.
Like, you know,
my friend said to me,
"Oh, my daughter's up
for the part of you"...
- I love that.
- And she sends me a picture of,
like, "Produced by," you know,
"Dawn Wells, Kyle Richards,"
and I was like...
My husband will say,
"Can you believe...
This is so exciting.
I'm so proud of you,"
and I think,
"Yeah, this is so exciting.
Wait, is this really happening?"
- So exciting.
- You're gonna love it.
- It's incredible.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Enjoy.
- Thank you so much.
Oh, my God. Kyle, I'm wearing
the pants from your store.
- I need to go shopping
at your store, by the way.
- I love them.
- They do.
Well, I was just thinking Lisa,
'cause her restaurant's
right there. - Yes.
- Are you okay
with Lisa Vanderpump?
- Yeah, of course. I don't care.
- Even with, like, Lisa Rinna
and Lisa Vanderpump,
I'm sure they're gonna be okay
eventually, don't you think?
To me, I'm like,
"Oh, they'll be fine."
Even though Vanderpump is
probably more angry at Rinna,
I think she's going to be more
likely to forgive her sooner,
because Rinna's a little
easier to manipulate.
- Anything can be worked out if
everybody wants to work it out.
- Well, that's
an operative word, "everybody."
This is a very slippery slope,
because...
- I'm having déjà vu.
Here are some words
that I don't care
if I don't ever hear again:
bipolar...
- She could have put it
out there that you were bipolar.
- Manipulative...
- She talked about, you know,
you being manipulative.
- Munchausen's...
- True Munchausen syndrome...
- Sniper...
- I think she's
a sniper from the side.
- Own it...
- Own it, Lisa. F... ing own it.
- I know what she's about.
I know who she is.
That's not gonna change.
Whatever. I'm fine with that.
- You would always
be civil and...
- Absolutely.
- I know that.
I know that about you.
- Absolutely.
- Right.
- Very plain and simple.
- Coming up...
- What a dump.
- Is that my beloved?
Boy George...
He's a big part of the family.
I mean, he lives here,
for crying out loud.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I like lots of eyelashes.
- Oh, yeah.
- Tiff?
- Hi, sweetie.
- We've got so much
to go through.
- Okay, we've got to talk
about schedule for Europe.
Through Milan,
are we going Paris or London?
- We'll go from New York to
Milan and from Milan to London.
- New York to Milan... okay.
- PK and I moved
to Beverly Hills
about two years ago.
We're gonna skip
Andrea Bocelli in Milan.
We are constantly surrounded
by celebrities
all the time,
given what we do for work,
and Beverly Hills
was a better place
for us to live.
The weather doesn't hurt.
I really want, like,
a large block of time
to be able to be with the kids.
Little Jagger's quite jealous
when he sees me with Phoenix.
He's just kind of like,
"No, that's my mommy."
I have two little munchkins.
Who's the prince of the castle?
My Jagger, who is a little over
two years old...
Who's number one?
I love you, beautiful girl.
And little Phoenix,
who's 4 1/2 months.
Can you believe she gained
2 1/2 pounds in a month?
Currently, my staff
include Peggy,
who's baby nurse,
Neila, Jagger's main nanny,
and then I've got a few nannies
for Jagger and Phoenix
to fill in,
three full-time housekeepers,
and Tiffany,
who's my husband's assistant.
- God, there's so much
to go through.
- For those who will criticize
me having a big staff,
I'm not exactly lounging
in bed eating bonbons.
- What a dump.
- Is that my beloved?
- Oh, my God.
- Georgie!
- Oh, here she is.
- Boy George, he's a big part
of the family.
I mean, he lives here,
for crying out loud.
Am I okay to represent you
in "Jimmy Kimmel" tonight?
- Yeah, you look great.
- Yeah?
He's my daughter's godfather.
[exclaiming] - I know.
He's wearing our necklace.
- He's Uncle George.
He's not really
Boy George in this house.
- You know, I've just come off
the road with an American band.
They wanted to play me a song.
It started, and it was like
a car crash, and I stopped it.
- Don't get me wrong.
He has his moments.
Diva does come out,
and no one does it better
than Boy George.
- The people that did
meet-and-greets,
they paid, like,
$500 every night.
- And what do you do
in a meet-and-greet?
- George is just basically
turned into Mickey Mouse.
People stand in line.
- I'm like the pope.
- He's silly. He's fun.
He's in our bedroom
watching "Game of Thrones"
with my husband and I.
- I'm so excited for you.
It's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
Welcome home, babe.
♪ ♪
- Line those lips.
Line those lips.
DSLs. What color lip?
- Metallic New.
- I love a '70s frost.
Disco glamour.
- Decided I would have a Studio
54 party for my birthday.
Studio 54 was a fabulous time.
It was fun.
This is when people
were really being free
and cocaine wasn't addictive
and... allegedly.
You need to get up here
so we can get you dressed.
- Got it.
- I got your, like,
outfit all laid out and ready.
♪ ♪
This is rad. - Amazing, right?
We're gonna have a lot
of boozy... so get ready.
- A lot of boozy Suzies.
I would appreciate it
if you poured heavy.
When it comes to the budget,
I'm just telling them, you know,
"I want this. I want this.
I need this,"
and whatever it comes out to,
you know, hey, I'm only 45 once.
- Cheers to the birthday girl.
- Thank you.
- Well, let's have fun tonight.
- Yeah, we will for sure.
- Okay.
- Whatever. Who cares?
It's my f... ing party,
I'ma do whatever I want.
- Okay, so you're gonna be
at the front gate.
- Okay.
- "Name, please."
And then velvet rope...
- Boom.
- Yeah.
- And then they'll get
a glass of champagne.
- Miss Thing, there is
no guest list today.
- There you go.
There's nothing else to do.
Oh, my God.
Pussy Control... she's fabulous.
The late artist Prince actually
gave her the name Pussy Control,
and they did
a whole thing together,
and that's the song
"Pussy Control."
That's Sharon.
- Look.
Okay, light-up floor, obvi.
For sure. - Nice touch.
♪ ♪
- I... that's
a little bit of boob.
- I know. Can you imagine if I
said there's a lot of boob?
I'd basically be
wearing pasties.
- When I look back at the '80s,
it was very important to me,
because it was the end
of my single days.
He's gonna shag you
before you get up the stairs.
- Why would you think I haven't
already shagged her, Lisa?
- Is that why you're late?
I remember I did
the "Poison Arrow" video.
It was big hair.
It was big shoulder pads.
It was kind of big everything.
I did that video
the night before I started
dating my husband.
Six weeks later,
we were engaged.
Cheers. - Cheers.
♪ ♪
- [laughing]
I went to Studio 54.
- You look fantastic.
- Thank you. So do you.
- I love the hair.
- Iman was there, and she was
married to a basketball player.
That's all I remember.
Iman was there.
- This is actually mine
from the early '80s,
which I haven't worn since then.
- I have...
Okay, I have a black one
like this.
- Shut up. You do?
I was heavily into disco.
You know, spandex pants.
I did a modeling job
in roller skates.
I had the side ponytail.
[cork pops] - Oh!
- I should bring
my roller skates with me,
so if I don't like seeing
Lisa Vanderpump,
I can just skate away.
How's Delilah?
Is she modeling still?
- She's in New York right now.
She just shot
"Teen Vogue" today.
- Wow.
- The modeling for Delilah
came about very organically.
She started to take pictures.
She started to really like it
and have fun doing it.
Elite saw her on Instagram,
and they signed her on the spot.
- She must be so excited.
- I have always said,
"Please, whatever you do,
do what makes you happy."
- Did they send her out
to New York, then?
- Yeah, they're sending her on
castings, and she's doing stuff.
- Good.
- It's exciting.
♪ ♪
- Oh, they're here.
- Oh, I love what
you're wearing.
- Sit down.
- Look at these shoes.
- I know.
- I have them.
I almost wore them under here,
but I wore these instead.
I thought you...
- Oh, they're pretty.
- I used to go to Studio 54
with my mom and my sister.
The first time they dragged me...
This is the craziest story.
- You must be 12.
- I was 10.
My sister Kat used to take me
with Andy Warhol.
- Wow.
- He used to carry
a Pentax camera,
and he would just be talking,
and then he would, like,
take a picture of you like that
when you didn't even know,
and he'd go, "Mm-hmm,"
and he would just snap
as he was talking to people.
- You definitely had
a recluse type of mother.
- She was, like,
obsessed with us.
We were her whole life.
She didn't believe in rules.
She did what she wanted
to do, so...
There I was, hanging out
with Andy Warhol and Rick James
and everybody having
a good old time...
Just another Saturday night
when you're ten years old.
- Shall we go?
- Let's go.
- Are you ready?
♪ ♪
- Are you on the list?
♪ ♪
[indistinct conversation]
♪ ♪
- ♪ You made me believe
I was so far away ♪
♪ Pushing me deeper ♪
The girls look so good.
♪ Striking me down ♪
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
Yes, ladies.
You're an early bird
to the party.
Where's your cocktail?
Thank you.
♪ I surrender myself ♪
♪ I'll never be free ♪
Good, right? - No kidding.
- It's great. It's great.
- Hi, gorgeous.
- Thank you for coming.
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
Oh, my God. Hello.
- Ladies, are you on the list?
- I don't know. I hope so.
- I believe you are.
- [exclaims]
- Champagne?
- Yes.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God, baby, my twin!
- How are you?
- Be careful.
I've got makeup on my body.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hi, darling.
- So nice to meet you.
- You guys came!
Thank you for coming.
- We're so excited to see you.
- Do you have a drink?
Let's have some fun.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Whoo!
- Eileen, oh, my God, I love it.
- Happy birthday!
- Yes.
- My baby girl.
I love your disco balls.
- I love big balls.
- I mean, here's to big balls.
- I know you got 'em.
[laughter]
- Coming up...
- We went for it tonight,
you know?
- You always go for it.
- Oh, good. Game on.
[Erika Jayne's
"How Many?" playing]
♪ ♪
- I love that you can play
your own music
at your own party.
- I know, right?
- Don't you love this song?
- Yes.
- You hit the jackpot.
- I did more than she did.
- All right.
- It's a special
little something.
I want you to open it.
- What?
Are you serious? - Yeah!
Do you want to be on my show?
- F..., yeah, I want
to be on your show!
Are you serious?
- Awesome.
- Oh, my God!
Who the f...
Gets this kind of gift?
That is so cool.
Okay, you're gonna
help me out, though.
Like, I don't know
what the f... I'm doing.
- I will totally...
We're gonna rehearse.
- You're gonna coach me
all the way through it?
- This is the coolest
present ever.
- You get to say
what kind of part you want.
If you want a day,
if you want a couple days...
- What kind of role would I like
on "Young and the Restless"?
I just don't want to f... up.
- I suggested a nun
at one point,
which I thought
would be kind of funny.
- It's always fun to play
the bad girl.
- Maybe a
high-powered attorney...
- There's nothing better
than a bitch and, like,
a really good catfight.
- I just don't want to get
over there and, like,
you know... you know, like, ugh.
- That's what I'd like to see.
- "What... who hired this bitch?"
- But definitely it's got to be
in a scene with me.
- What if they fire Eileen
'cause I suck?
- I have to work with her.
- Like a Krystle
and Alexis fight on "Dynasty"
between Eileen and Erika...
There we go.
Let's write that.
You'll be a natural.
- I remember you told me
that your grandma
watched soaps, right?
- Well, that's kind of, like,
where my name comes from,
my mother and... yeah.
- I know. both: Erica Kane.
- My mom was pregnant with me
when "All My Children" came on.
You know, Erica Kane was, like,
the diva, and there you go.
- Now that really makes sense.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Look at this amazing
little outfit.
- Welcome. You are on the list?
- We hope so.
- Let me check.
- You're wearing my outfit.
That's what I was gonna wear.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- How are you?
- I'm good.
Thank you for coming.
- Remember, I was having...
- Yes, yes.
- Lunch the other day
with my friend Dorit?
My very good friend, Dorit.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- And this is PK.
- Hey.
- Hi. How are you doing?
- Thank you for having us.
- Nice to meet you, darling.
- Where's your Studio 54 outfit?
- Look at you, man.
- Have you got something
Studio 54 underneath?
- I hope so.
- So how are you doing?
How are you feeling
about tonight?
- You know, I feel
really good about tonight.
- I'm okay too.
- It's okay to be okay.
- Yeah, and I think
it's more of, like,
how they're gonna take you.
- That's not our problem.
How she reacts, it's her thing.
Can't control
anybody else's choice.
I can't control
Vanderpump's choice.
I can't control Eileen's choice.
All I can do is do what I want.
I'd rather be better
than bitter.
That's my new motto.
I'd rather be better
than bitter.
- Exciting.
- Oh, my God!
I'm almost
your doppelganger, but...
- My hair's light now.
- How long have you lived
in Beverly Hills?
- Two years. I'm a New Yorker.
- She's from New York.
I'm from London.
- Well, I grew up
in Connecticut,
but I didn't
stay there very long.
I lived in Europe
for a long time.
Then I moved back to New York.
I definitely consider myself
a New Yorker above anything.
I had a lot of reservations
about moving to Beverly Hills.
A little bit
too much carrot juice
and a little bit
too much Botox...
- It's Dorit's birthday today.
- The big one.
- What's a big one?
- 40.
- I'm 45. There you go.
- It did not feel like
I was gonna mesh well,
but I do like meeting
new people.
I've settled perfectly,
obviously.
[laughing]
Well, you invited me
to your party,
and I'm having my birthday party
on Saturday.
- So you've got to come to that.
- Of course. I would love to.
- Yeah? Oh, I love it.
- What's going?
- Have you said hi to...
- Hi.
- Have you said...
- Well, hello, Lisa Vanderpump.
- Hello, Lisa Rinna.
This is my friend, Dorit.
- Hi. I'm Dorit.
- Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you, as well.
- How are you?
- Good, thank you. How are you?
- Good.
- I like your...
- I... we went for it tonight.
- Oh, you always go for it.
[dramatic music]
- Are you well?
- I'm well.
- The kids are well?
- Yeah.
Everything's going on.
It kind of puts things
in perspective.
- Oh, my...
Well, that wig didn't get pulled
from the back, did it?
'Cause I might
give it a tug later.
I think it would
be well deserved.
- Oh, good. Game on.
We can start taking the piss
out of each other again.
Yay.
That's what we do best.
But anyway... - No.
- Nice to meet you...
- Yes.
- And don't listen
to her too much.
- You know, you meet new people,
and you form an opinion,
and, you know what, Lisa,
I'm a big girl with my own mind.
- Yes, of course.
- But I might give her
a hint occasionally.
- All right.
We all know what happened.
You can't change that,
but you can change
how you react to it.
Nice to meet you,
and nice to see you.
- Exactly.
Lisa Rinna and I,
we used to have
a lot of fun together,
but she changed that dynamic.
She made that decision.
So we'd have to do a lot of work
to get back to where we were.
- All right.
- Hello, Eileen.
- I'll wait up.
- Hi, Lisa. How are you?
- Is everybody...
- All these new children.
- Oh, fun.
[overlapping chatter]
- I am struggling
with the situation
with Lisa Vanderpump.
I am.
- Don't let her take my wig off.
She's gonna try
to pull my wig off.
So if she pulls
my wig off, tell me.
- Things change. People change.
Lisa Vanderpump and I
could actually have a meeting
of the minds at some point.
You never know.
I mean, look what happened
after the Vietnam War.
Everybody's going to Vietnam
on vacation now.
- Oh, I feel so important, going
in this little area like this.
- Come in here.
- Oh, thank you.
I love that. I love your place.
- This outfit, by the way,
is super.
- Thank you.
- Does she look like
the part or what?
- I mean, like, Bianca Jagger's
coming in on her white horse.
I was thinking you were
gonna come in on a white horse.
- You know what? I thought
about it for a hot second...
- Did you?
- And then I thought,
"Don't fall off."
- You're so funny.
- I said to Lisa,
you can get one of
your little miniature ponies.
- I should've borrowed...
- Can I borrow one?
- Yeah, there you go.
- I said hello to Eileen,
but she was very cold.
I don't know why. - Really?
- Yeah. I said, "Hello,"
and clinked a glass,
but... but anyway,
it doesn't matter.
Let's not just get caught up
in a bitchfest.
- Coming up...
- Erika?
- Yes?
- I have a birthday present
for you.
- All right.
[gasps] My God!
[upbeat music]
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, we do, but we asked
the bartender, and he told us...
- Honey, I can get myself
a drink.
- Look at Ken.
Ken has a whole wardrobe
of clothes for tonight.
My husband's like,
"I... this is all I've got."
Meanwhile, Ken comes out.
I'm like,
"Where'd you get that?"
He's like, "My closet."
[laughter]
Let's go mosey around.
♪ ♪
- I'm starving.
Where's the dinner?
Go up into the kitchen, get
the cake, and bring it out here.
- Fine, I'll get the cake.
- Shaking your asses, singing...
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
- Whoo! Arms up...
- Ahh!
- Is Kevin Mylrea dancing
with Lisa Rinna on a box?
- Happy birthday, lovely.
- Thank you so much.
- Ha!
- Oh, my God.
You are strong.
- He went to go look
at a plane yesterday.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- Wow. What kind?
- A G4 SB... beautiful plane.
- It's a lot nicer
to go to the G4.
If you're a little late,
the plane's waiting.
- Yeah.
- If you're a little early,
okay, let's go.
- Let's get out of here.
- And there's no pat-downs
or anything like that.
- Why...
- Unless you were flying.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- There we go.
The birthday girl...
- Oh, my God.
Are we loving her with this wig?
- So fun, right?
- I love it.
Where's your cocktail?
- I need one.
- Come on.
- Let's get one.
- You have a cocktail.
- I know.
I'm the only one that doesn't.
I'm getting a cocktail.
- Okay. Good for you.
- I'm gonna cut in line for...
Just for a second.
- Absolutely.
- What do you want, madame?
- A little Veuve.
- You know what?
I'll have a little bit as well.
How did it go with Lisa?
- Fine.
- Okay, good.
- I'm sure that
there's things to talk about,
but life's too short.
- Well, here's to you.
- Thank you, baby.
Here's to you. Happy birthday.
- Thank you for coming.
- I wouldn't miss it for
the world. I wouldn't.
- I want you to get up there
and do that right now. Look.
- I'll do that.
- Just do it right now.
- Ken and PK
are virtually salivating,
and Mauricio's there, as well.
- Look at Mauricio.
What the hell?
- I could do that too. Whatever.
- Where is Mauricio?
What the hell?
- He's salivating.
- Why are they all over there?
- Notice how they've
positioned themselves
perfectly in the party here.
- I mean, like,
with your tongues hanging out...
- I was gonna say,
you've kind of...
You've kind of positioned
yourselves perfectly.
- Honey, you know me.
You know me.
- Do you want to get up
and dance?
- No. I'm actually hungry.
- I'm starving.
- Are those jeweled panties?
- I have to have some type
of moment that's exciting.
- Oh, I love it.
- So I just threw it under.
- Yeah.
- Where are you from, Erika?
- I grew up in Atlanta. Yeah.
- I'm going next week.
- Yeah?
Oh, what are you doing there?
- George is performing.
- He loves you, by the way.
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow.
- No. We're gonna do something.
We're gonna do something.
- Wow. Okay.
That just threw me
for a loop. Okay.
- Wow.
I was... it threw me for a loop.
- To hear that Boy George, like,
even knows who I am...
Let's get serious, right?
Like, this is an icon...
Knows who the f... I am
is kind of a big deal.
- You have the life, Tom.
- It is nice.
- Yes, it is.
- Erika?
- Yes?
- I have
a birthday present for you.
- [gasps] My God!
My mother... oh, my... Mom! Mommy.
- Hey.
- I'm shocked my mom is here.
That's my mom!
Like, that's cool.
Thanks, Mom, for coming out.
- You've been hiding
in the bedroom?
- All day.
- I'm so excited you're here.
Can I introduce you to everyone?
- Sure.
- My mom and I are probably
the closest now
that we've ever been.
You guys, you guys,
you have to meet my mom.
- This is your mom?
- She surprised me here.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- She was 18 years old
when I was born
and raised me kind of
as a single mom.
- Cheers. She's adorable.
- Kyle, this is my mom, Renee.
- She's sweet.
- You're lying.
- No, this is my mother.
- No wonder you're so gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Well, I'm a little shorter.
- It's okay.
My mother and father
were married,
and he left when I was
about nine months old.
My mom was a young mom,
full of life.
She's creative.
She's a real inspiration.
She's a super cool chick.
- Yeah, she is. Look at her.
- I can tell.
- Look at her outfit.
- She's a good time.
- Really?
- I just adore her more
every day.
- Look at... this is my mother.
- Mom... Renee...
- This is my mother.
This is Clyde.
- Are you kidding me?
- Thank you.
- Isn't she gorgeous?
You know, my mother,
my grandmother,
myself, we are all artists.
You know, they were always
at the shows.
They were at recitals,
celebrating the artist within.
This is so cool.
Is my makeup falling off?
- No. You look great.
I love your dress.
- Jose, Castillo,
come meet my mom.
My grandmother's
very close to my mom,
and I spent my summers
with my grandmother's house
in the country.
I don't think I wore clothes
till I was three,
'cause I just, like,
ran around in my underwear.
So not much changed.
[laughs]
You have to meet everyone.
- Okay.
- You're going to the kitchen?
Why? What's in the kitchen?
- Food.
- Is the food not out here?
Are they not passing
hors d'oeuvres?
- They walked around plenty
with the food.
They just missed it. - They did?
I'm kind of shocked
that the food isn't out here.
When it comes to the food
for this party,
I mean, I don't really think
anybody cares.
- The party's great for my diet.
- I think we've got to wait
for a cake.
- Hi, Dorit.
- How you doing, Eileen?
- Having fun?
- We are.
We've been trying
to get a drink...
Very unsuccessfully, though.
- Oh, no.
- What would you like, baby?
- I want a beer.
- [sighs]
Lisa Vanderpump is not
welcoming me with open arms.
More like a cold shoulder.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Oh, thank you, Eileen.
- Is that ours?
- Cheers.
- Cheers. Happy birthday.
- Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
- Good.
- I've popped already
in all kinds of places,
and I feel like 30 more seconds,
it could genuinely come out.
- Oh, no. I know, right?
- I don't normally wear
my hair this way.
- Well, neither do I.
- [laughs]
- It seems like maybe
Lisa Vanderpump
doesn't like me
talking to her friend.
I don't know.
- You know what?
I'm having my birthday party
on Saturday night. - Really?
- I'd love for you
and your husband to come.
I'd like to see you there.
- Thank you so much.
That's very sweet of you.
- Yeah.
Eileen seems very nice,
and I'm thinking,
in the back of my head,
"I know that Vanderpump has
had issues with her in the past,
"and I'm finding it
very hard to think
"how this could be
the same woman
that's actually done
this to her."
She seems nothing but sweet
and nice.
I look forward to it.
- Nice to talk to you.
- Good to talk to you as well.
- Coming up...
♪ ♪
- ♪ Painkiller ♪
- This time, join 'em. Go.
- I'm coming back
stronger than ever.
[upbeat music]
- Why didn't you
get dressed like that?
- Because I don't have tits
like that.
- I want to see you in one
of these dresses next week.
- You know, you won't be seeing
me at all if you don't shut up.
[all cheering]
- One, two, three.
All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Finally, we see the cake.
I mean, it's not my idea
of dinner,
but, I guess, let them eat cake.
All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Where's the food?
- I know.
- It's really weird.
Yes, there's cake.
- Oh, can I have some?
- It looks like
it's not edible cake,
and I'm just thinking,
"How can I eat it?"
'Cause I'm so f... ing hungry.
- I did see a deviled egg.
I should have grabbed it.
- Make a good wish.
- No, honey.
My wish came true
when I met you.
Thank you. all: Aww.
- I love you.
- Aww.
[all cheering]
- I love you.
This has been a great night.
It's new friends, old friends,
dancer friends,
creative friends.
My mom is here.
My husband's here.
Like, super cool.
Feels good. It feels good.
45 feels good.
♪ ♪
♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- This time, join 'em. Go, Lisa.
- No, I'm...
- Lisa.
Lisa, go and dance.
- ♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
- I think maybe
Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna
would probably be thrilled
if I wasn't part of
this circle of friends.
♪ ♪
But no. I'm coming back.
Happy birthday.
- Thank you so much.
I really appreciate
you saying that.
I appreciate that.
- And I'm coming back
stronger than ever.
- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Painkiller ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Like a painkiller ♪
- Next on the "Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...
- Five, six, seven, eight.
♪ ♪
- I approach things
in an in-your-face way.
My dancers have to do the same.
- Hey!
- [laughing]
- Good boy.
I'm not riding anything else.
Might as well
get a horse, right?
Oh, his winkie's out.
Put that back in.
- How does one even
find something like that?
- Where does one?
- I'm not telling you
any of my secrets.
- I know you're not.
She's like, "It's a joke."
- I meant to say, I'm...
I'm sorry.
- Can I welcome you all
to Dorit's Buddha Lounge?
- Oh, my...
- Wow. Okay.
Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.