The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 6, Episode 17 - Lymes in the Sand - full transcript

- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Mauricio just came back
from Dubai,

and I've always
wanted to go there.

I would love
if everybody would want

to jump on board
for a girls trip.

- Seriously?

I have always
wanted to go to Dubai.

Yolanda being sick,
which I believe she is sick...

- She's sick.

- But I believe that
we are painted in a corner

because of that sickness.



I... I do. - Maybe you...

I don't feel that way. - I do.

Maybe she uses that sickness

to her advantage
in a lot of ways.

- I'm not going there.
- I know.

- The other day I saw a picture
with you and Kim and Brandi,

and then you didn't
come to her dinner,

and it got me.

- It's none of
your business, really.

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills,
you can be anything,

but it's most important
to be yourself.



- I'm an enigma
wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean
I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends
believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- Don't hate the game.

Just marry a player.

- I'm passionate about dogs,
just not crazy about bitches.

♪ ♪

- I haven't worn any makeup
in 11 months.

♪ ♪

- Well, you look gorgeous.

- You know, I mean,
I haven't done any Botox,

you know, or anything now
for, like, three years.

Like, it's funny to see

how your face changes.

Tonight is the event
for the Global Lyme Alliance,

and I'm kind of nervous.

I've been in a bathrobe
for the past 14 months,

but you know, it's for my cause,

and I'm gonna show up,
and I'm going to do it.

- Watch my diamonds.

Don't make them dull. - Exactly.

- They need to see
my rocks a-sparkling.

- Yes, darling.
- I think you're perfect.

- Got it.
- Got it.

- Can we take a photo, or...

- Yeah, let's do it.
- It's not the time, or...

- No, of course.
- Okay, cool.

It's always the time.

Why don't we give you, like,

on the table or on the couch?

- Yeah, on the table.

Ooh, yes.

- Yes, honey.

[camera shutter clicking]

- Oh, there we go.

- Yes, that's it, that's it.

- Holy Toledo.

- Oh, hi.

Hi, come on in.

Meet my friends.

- Hi.

- I have a really interesting
view back here.

She's like, "Pain-killer."
[laughs]

- Sorry, we were just
fáááing around playing.

- Oh, my God, I walked in
with a really good view.

- With my ass.
I am sorry. I apologize.

- Yeah, it was all good.
- All right, session's over.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, that looks
beautiful, baby.

Evening. Thank you.

Oh, perfect.

Wow, looks beautiful, huh?

♪ ♪

- Hi, Tommy.

How are you?

- No wonder.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look amazing.
- It looks terrific.

- Everybody that played
a big role in my recovery

is here tonight,

and you know,
that means so much to me

because those are the people
I want to share,

you know, this moment with.

- This is gorgeous.

Oh, like, we're thinking
[speaks inaudibly].

- That's so cute.

- There are all types
of charity events.

You could be
selling cookies at church,

and that's a charity event.

But a gala in New York City,
it's a big deal.

- It looks...
- Right.

Yeah, I hear that.

- [laughs]
- You scared me.

Hi.

I'm like, "Who is that?"

- I was so distracted

looking at your gorgeous kids
on the red carpet.

- Where are they?

- I was getting,
like, all sentimental.

- Are they there?

- They're on the red carpet
looking so cute.

You have no idea.

You can't miss it;
you got to go look.

- All right, you should go.
All right.

- I was not expecting
this event to be so big.

I'm kind of taken aback.

I'm hoping that tonight
I'm going to learn

more about Lyme disease
and exactly what Yolanda

and all these people
have been going through.

♪ ♪

- Aw, look how cute they look.

- Hi, Mommy.
- How are you, my love?

♪ ♪

- Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Tommy Hilfiger.

[applause]

- Good evening and thank you.

I'm happy to be here tonight

to introduce
my courageous daughter, Ally.

[applause]

- I come tonight before you
with my passion

and my request for us to focus

on the youngest victims
of Lyme disease.

They are my daughter, your son,

your grandchildren.

- I'm thankful to be here today

to share with you
my story of life.

The hardest part
was convincing others around me

that I was sick.

I think it was hard
for them to understand

because I looked perfectly
healthy from the outside.

- I always felt, like,
dirty and weird

even hearing Lisa Rinna
use the word "Munchausen's"

and being in
that setting with her

and not being more defensive.

- Munchausen syndrome
has been renamed

"Factitious Disorder,"

wherein those affected
feign disease, illness,

or psychological trauma

to draw attention, sympathy,

or reassurance to themselves.

- And being here tonight

and listening to what
these people are saying,

I just... I feel bad about that.

- It's with great pleasure

that I introduce you
to Gigi Hadid

who will introduce her mom

who's an honoree tonight,
Yolanda Foster.

[cheers and applause]

- Hi, everyone.

Before someone I loved
was affected with something

that drastically and negatively
changed her quality of life,

I didn't really understand
the meaning of the word "hope."

For a whole year,
I watched my mom struggle

to understand the pain
and confusion

that she was experiencing

but that no one seemed
to have the answers for.

Finally after being falsely
diagnosed for many things,

my mom was diagnosed
with neurological Lyme disease.

Naturally,
on social media these days,

there were so many people

that were uninformed
and quick to shame her

just because she looked good
on the outside.

The Global Alliance is hope,

and tonight we are honoring
the person that,

more than anyone I know,

is hope for
Lyme disease awareness,

my mom.

For your fight,
for your passion,

and for making your journey one
that will help so many,

I'm so proud to honor you
with this award.

- Hearing Gigi speak,

her words were just
so beautiful.

- I love you.

[cheers and applause]

- This has been really hard
for all of us, you know?

This hasn't been
a walk in the park.

I don't know if it's
heartbreaking or heartwarming,

or you know... it's kind of
in between, I guess.

Thank you, Gigi.

Thank you
for exceeding every hope,

every dream,

and every expectation
I ever had for you.

Thank you to
my courageous husband

for making actions
speak louder than words

and standing by me
during this painful

and very unromantic journey.

You're a really good nurse.
- Yeah.

- This is not what
you signed up for, my baby.

This wasn't part
of the nuptials.

- You be the patient.

I'll be the doctor, okay?

- My two youngest children,
Bella and Anwar,

were diagnosed
with chronic Lyme disease

in early 2012.

- It's really hard
because a part of me

feels guilty for talking
about her children.

What's going on with
Anwar and Bella's Lyme disease?

What does Mohamed say?

- No, she's the only one
that has it.

- Saying the children
don't have Lyme disease

is discrediting their journey
of three years.

- I'm not a doctor.

- It's really upsetting,

and I just want her to know
that I felt bad.

- This is my promise to you.

I will continue
to search the globe

until we find the cure
affordable for all.

Thank you, Anwar, Gigi, Bella,

and my husband
and all my friends.

I love you. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- I think that this
really closes a chapter

on a lot of doubt
and misunderstandings.

Had Rinna been able
to attend the event,

she would've been able to see
there's more than one person

saying the same things

that Yolanda's been saying
about her disease.

Perhaps she would've
felt differently

about the Munchausen thing.

- I feel so bad
I was even in a room

with the same conversation.

I really can't. I'm tortured.

- You can't do that.
It's all right.

- I wasn't even that much
a part of that, though.

I got dragged in when it was
about the post, not about that.

But I... even now I'm like,
"I can't even deal."

Like, I'm so upset right now.

You have no idea.

- I can't, as her friend,
not... I can't tolerate that.

I can't.

I cannot do that.
That's not cool.

- I hear you.

- And ignorance really
is not an excuse.

- No, it isn't.

- Let's be honest.

It's not just Rinna.
Vanderpump does it too.

- She says one more thing,

she's gonna have her head
fáááing bitten off.

- Right?
- No, it's not fair.

You can't do that.

- It's wrong.
- Wrong.

- If I had known what I know
now about Lyme disease,

I would never have allowed
that conversation

to continue with Lisa Rinna.

I would've shut it down
right away.

I'm saying that before I even
saw Bella crying here,

I'm already bawling
seeing them on the red carpet.

I don't know... I'm just...
I guess as a mommy,

I see them, I get very,
like, you know, touched.

And then seeing,
you know, you all here

and Bella crying, I lost it.

I feel bad now.
- Because of the kids?

Because the kids didn't want
to talk about it,

you know what I mean?

The kids didn't want...
They didn't want anybody

talking about it, and then...

- I feel so bad.
- Aw.

She gets it on a deeper level.

When it hit her emotions,
I knew I...

That's all I wanted,
is for them to understand.

As a mother, I'll back...
I'll do anything.

- I wish so much
that the rest of the women

could be here and hear all this.

- Do you plan
to help my children

and to bring them through...

- Look at these gorgeous faces.

I can't even take
the gorgeousness.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- All mothers and women

think that guys
are totally irresponsible,

and they never
get anything done right,

and they forget everything,
and they're always... come on.

- Yes.

[upbeat music]

- Hi, darling.
- Hey, Mom.

- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?

- Good.

It's beautiful out, isn't it?

- It is, yeah.

♪ ♪

- Do you want to sit outside?
- Yeah, sure.

- I would've gone to Yolanda's
benefit in New York,

but I had to go to London
to renew my passport.

I hope it's gonna be
a fun trip to Dubai,

'cause it took three days,

so it was literally
there and back.

It was exhausting.

So what's going on? Nothing?

- Uh, well,
same old thing, you know?

- Max has been, you know,
consistent in working.

He runs food at Sur,

and he's one of those kids
that really nothing bothers him.

I've got a gift for you.

Very small. - What?

- He would rather
just play guitar

and not do much
of anything else at all,

but I've made him
hold down his job,

and he's been responsible,

and I'm gonna reward him.

Something small.

It's small.

You might not like it.

♪ ♪

- You're kidding me.

You're joking.

Really?

No.

Are you kidding me?

What?

Oh! - Is it what you want?

- Oh, my God, yes, it is, yeah.

Mom. - Yeah?

- Come here. Give me a hug.

- Is it what you wanted?

- Of course it's what I wanted.

Are you kidding me, right?

- No, I'm not kidding you.
- The bow is a bit...

- I went to get it myself.

- The bow's a bit
ridiculous, but...

- Well, come on.

I gave my children
something that I didn't have.

I told my children
I love them every single day.

My parents didn't tell me that.

Do you like it? - Dad.

- Yeah?
- You're kidding me, right?

- She bought it.
- I love it.

Are you joking me?

That's the one I wanted.
- She bought it for you.

- Maybe it's very British.

I never heard that.

They didn't think they had to,

and I think you can either
go the way of your parents,

or you can go
the complete opposite,

and I went
the complete opposite.

Well, you're gonna be
late for work, so off you go.

- Yeah, I am.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

I love you too.
Thank you so much again.

- You're welcome.

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

- I know.

- At this moment,
I'm glad I'm not you.

- Why?

- Well, it's exciting
and everything to go to Dubai,

but I mean...

- I went out,
and I did go shopping,

and I bought a lot for Dubai.

Don't tell Harry Hamlin.

- I'd go with just a little bag

and a pair of jeans, but...

- I know, but I have to
dress for at least... what?

Five nights and five days,
so that means ten outfits.

♪ ♪

- Not too hard.

Not too hard, but not too soft.

Let go.

- Okay, you put your arms down.

- Okay. Beautiful... ah!

- You kidding me?

♪ ♪

- You're a genius.

- Thank you.

- I can't get away.

Thank you.

- Isn't it crazy
that I'm going to Dubai?

- Yeah, yeah, it is.

- This is happening.

It's very exciting
and terrifying,

but exciting.

- Plus, it's 110 degrees, right?

- Plus, it's Dubai,

so my question is,
do I have to cover up?

- You mean Muslim-wise?
- Yes.

Dubai is in the Middle East,

and in the Middle East,
they have very strict rules.

You cannot curse,

you cannot
dress inappropriately,

and you cannot
use your middle finger.

I'm fáááed.

- No swearing,

so we'll have nothing
to say to each other.

- You really can't do that
in public, right?

- No, you really can't.

You have to be covered up.

Women have to have,
like, shawl...

Like, you can't wear,
like, a tank top.

- Really, yeah?

- So I have to bring, like,

little shawls
and things to cover up.

- Do I bring bikinis?

- I don't know
how Muslim UAE is.

- I think Dubai is,
like, so metropolitan.

It's... my feeling is...
I've been told

that you can wear
whatever you want.

You don't have to cover,

but I don't like
the idea of prison.

If I got arrested in Dubai,

I would want Eileen
to be my cellmate.

- I would pick Lisa Vanderpump.

- Lisa Rinna's so skinny,

she could probably squeeze
through the bars

and let us all out.

- If I got arrested in Dubai,

I think I'd like Kathryn
to be my cellmate,

'cause she could beat
the sháá out of anybody.

- I think I'd rather have
Lisa Vanderpump as my cellmate.

Maybe she could spin a web,
and then we could,

you know, capture the guards
and get away.

[laughs]

- Maybe Erika,

because we could
have Tom get us out.

That's who you want
to go to jail with.

And then we also have to talk
about the schedule,

just, you know, for next week.

- Oh, yeah.

- 'Cause you're in charge.

Well, here's what worries me
about being gone:

that no one will get
where they need to go.

Getting to school,
getting to appointments,

just having the machinery work.

There's a machine
that works here,

and I run it.

- You know Jesse
has a tutor, right?

And you'll just have to be
on top of all of that

and make sure that he does
his homework as usual.

Listen, all I care about
is that Jesse's fed

and he gets to school.

Anything else,
I don't care anymore.

- I want you to make sure
you know where they are.

- They will check in
with me every three hours.

- Every three hours
they need to check in with you,

and you just...
Just keep track of them.

- Why do you think...
Is it because I'm a guy?

- Yes.

- And all mothers and women

think that guys
are totally irresponsible,

and they never get
anything done right,

and they forget every thing,
and they're always... come on!

I mean, I'm... look around you.

- I'm sorry, but...
- How did this happen?

- Well, you.

♪ ♪

- This is very beach.

I'm by the pool.

You're not by the pool.

♪ ♪

- You have too much body
for that, though.

- Not... well, wait.

- You're too sexy.

Let them wear that.
- Are we all excited?

- Are you ready for the...
- I am very ready.

- The Middle East explosion?
- Hi!

- Are you ready for this?
- Hi.

- Good to see you.
- You too.

- M-I-D.

- Hi, baby.
- What's happening?

- You are.
- You ready for this?

- Are you ready for this?

- Well, packing for
a trip like this is difficult,

because there's a lot of stuff,
and I know that we're gonna be

doing a lot of different things,

and you want to have
a lot of options,

so you want to be able
to really get into character.

I'm thinking
since we're traveling

3/4 of the way around the planet

that we will be glamorous.

- Well, hello,
we're going to Dubai.

- Appropriate.
- Yeah, always.

- And but... you know,
fashion, fashion, fashion.

- Here, grab that thing
that says "Dubai."

- Oh, this?
Is this her look book?

- Yeah, it is.
- It's an Erika Jayne look book.

So kind of get into that,
and then all the pieces

are here,
and we can talk through.

- Ooh.

- We have a look book

in order to plan
for the occasion, really.

Earrings, full outfits,
shoes, accessories,

everything,
just so you have everything,

so when you get there,
it's super fast.

You can get down
to the business of having fun

and not worried about,
"What am I wearing with this?"

- That's my favorite piece.

- What is this?
- Frank, look.

This needs a...

- Wow, that is...
- That needs an explosion.

- This needs a video shoot.

- That looks like... that looks
very "Arabian Nights."

- Doesn't it?

We're going to, like,
one of the most

glamorous cities in the world.

Do you think I want to...

I don't want to look like a hag.

I'm bringing my glam squad along

because that's just how I live.

They go with me.

Hey, squad.

- To Dubai.

- With moi,
and we'll see you there.

- Yeah, you guys
are traveling separate.

- Okay, so we're not
traveling with you?

- No.
- Do they know we're coming?

- No.
- Oh, no.

Wow.

- You are a shady girl.

- Shady.
- No.

- Coming up...

- You guys, look where we are.

- Kyle, you did
something right for once.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.
- Hi, how are you?

- Fine, how are you?
Welcome to Delta One.

- Good, thank you.

Thank you so much.

- Where are we off to today?
- We are off to Dubai.

- Dubai?
- Yes.

- Wonderful.
- How long is it in total?

Do you know?

- 14 hours from Atlanta.

- 14 from Atlanta?

- 14 hours from
Atlanta to Dubai.

- And now from here
to Atlanta is five?

- 4 1/2.

- I told my friends
it was, like, way less.

I really want to go to Dubai,

but I just don't want
to have to get there.

Right now,
I wish I was "Bewitched,"

and I could just be like...

[laughs] Dubai.

♪ ♪

- Good morning.
Welcome to Delta one.

- Hey, how are you?
- Fine, how are you?

- I'm checking these two.

I will carry on that.

Oh, this is nice.

- I hear a voice I recognize.

- Hey!
- How are you?

- Good, how are you?
- I'm good.

How are you? - Nice to see you.

I love to see everybody's
travel outfits.

- I'm always super comfortable.
- I wondered.

I was like, "What will Erika
Jayne wear on an airplane?"

- Erika is comfort.
- Yeah, you are.

- And when I get on the ground,
that's different.

- But you do have
your pink kicks.

- Well, of course I have style.

- So you've got style.
- I have style.

- Okay, and then...
I mean, you know, I'm looking.

[laughs]

I did not expect Erika Jayne
to be in tennis shoes.

God love her.

- Hi.
- Thank you.

Hi. - Hi.

- Good morning.
- Hi.

- Oh, my God.

- You look like a '70s dream.

I love it. - I know, right?

- I think it's adorable.
- Are we ready?

- Yes.
- Oh, my God, here we go.

- Ready, girls.
- This should be fun.

- Oh, my gosh.

Okay, let's go.

- Off to Dubai.
- Okay, let's do it.

♪ ♪

- Dubai bound.

- I'm dealing with
a nervous flyer.

- I'm doing well, really well.

- How are you doing,
how you feeling?

- I'm doing so great.
- Are you drunk?

- No. No.

- Remember, no sháá in Dubai.

We'll get arrested.

I have a feeling Rinna's gonna
get us arrested in Dubai.

- What are the chances?

- She's on her own.

If she gets thrown in the clink,
we leave her behind.

♪ ♪

- How are you?
- I'm okay, how are you?

- Good, welcome to Atlanta.
- Be careful.

Get your shoes... - I'm here.

- Oh, this is perfect.

So you don't have to
kind of muddle your way

through arrivals.

There's three Porsches

just taking you
from one plane to the other.

Yep, well done.

Hi.

- How much you pay me
to slide down this slide?

Oh, sorry, just kidding.

♪ ♪

- Wow.

- Where's my Rolls?

I wanted a gold Rolls.

- Wow, look at that.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- It took 24 hours,
a whole day, to get here.

I feel like I've been
round the world and back.

This trip better be worth it.

♪ ♪

- [gasps] Wow.

[indistinct conversation]

- You guys, look where we are.

This is... - We made it.

- Here's the deal
with the rooms.

There are two suites
that have two bedrooms.

Erika has one of those,
and I have the other one.

So Erika's gonna pick someone
to stay with her.

I'm gonna pick someone
to stay with me.

The other two rooms
are single rooms.

One is the presidential suite,

and one is the underwater suite.

- Yes.
- I want to try that room.

- You do?
- I do.

- And I will do
the presidential.

- So you two, us two,
and then they room.

- Oh, Kathryn will come with me.
- Okay.

- I have no problems
rooming with Kathryn.

I mean, what happened

at the Habitat for Humanity
and Wally's, I mean,

that's... and my house...
My gosh, that's a lot.

Honestly, I thought we had
spoken in confidence,

so I'm a little disappointed.

Do you feel bad?

No. - No!

Don't talk to me like that.
- Don't talk to you how?

- They way you're
like this in my face.

Don't... please don't do that.

- Or... or what?

It's, like,
really far behind us,

so I'm really just
looking forward

to having a good time with her.

- We are really going to have
the full Dubai experience.

♪ ♪

- My love?
- Yeah, babe.

- The only thing
I'm sad to leave is our fridge.

Aw, should we kiss in it
one more time?

- [laughs]

- The house has been
on the market

for a year and a half,

and I'm just excited
it has sold,

and I'm ready to move on.

- I bet you those are rotten
up there, though.

- No, those are not real.

- Oh, they're not real?
- Yeah.

Obviously my favorite
memory of the house

is really my love and passion

for this family home

with my new husband
and my children.

- What are you making?

- Your favorite,
spaghetti Bolognese.

The lemon orchard...

You're so cute, Lucky.

Dinner parties...

- Welcome and cheers,
and let's have a great night.

All: ♪ When the saints
go marching in ♪

- Whoo!

- That's... a lot of happiness
happened in this home.

- I have to do a little
practicing today

and write some charts
out for tonight.

I'm gonna play for this.

- I don't know if I can make it.

I'm so tired already.

- Why don't you just go home
and then come back tomorrow?

- Baby, I can't.
- You come back tomorrow.

- No, I can't.

Who's gonna lead the pack?

I mean, if we don't watch it,

we're just gonna pack stuff
that we don't need.

You know what I mean? - Yeah.

- It just has to be done, baby.

- I got to finish my closet.

- I'll come and help you
when I finish here.

- No, you just do your thing.

♪ ♪

- We're here, yay.

- Hello, good evening.

Welcome to Atlantis Palm.

- Good evening. I'm Serge.

Welcome to Atlantis Dubai.

- Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to have you.

- Excited to be here.

- Oh, yes.
- Thank you.

- This hotel is
off-the-chart crazy.

It's like an Arabian
Las Vegas experience.

This is just like
nothing I've ever seen.

- Kyle, you did something
right for once.

- Oh, my goodness.

- This is incredible.

- The lobby is massive.

The ceilings are higher
than I've ever seen

in a hotel ever in my life.

It's beautiful.

- This is made
by an American artist, Chihuly.

- Yes, I know him.
- Correct, you know him?

- I know who he is, of course.

- Three thousand pieces
of hand blown glass.

- It's gorgeous.

- Oh, so we go in here?
- Yes.

- Hi, how are you?
- Fine, thank you.

- We're checking in.

Kyle Richards.

We have a... we have
a big group here.

I can give you everyone's names.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

Okay, shall we go get
freshened up, girls?

- You really don't
have to leave here

to do any shopping, right? - No.

- Yes, we do have
little shops here.

- You have little shops?

- We do have The Avenue,

and you can do
a little shopping.

- Here we go.

- Is this...
- Yeah.

Here this is...
We have two rooms.

This is the master bedroom.

- Wait, this is the room,
or this is the lobby?

- Yeah, this is the room.
- This is the room?

- Yeah, this is
the royal suite room.

This is the most expensive room.

- This is our room?
- Yes.

- So we're in
the most expensive?

- Yes.

- Oh, see, Kyle,
you've done something right.

- Coming up...

- She told people that
I have Munchausen disease.

- What the fááá?

What is wrong with her?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Mama.

And these.

- Yo-yo.
- Hey, B.

- Everyone's here!
- Hi, how are you?

You got dressed to help me move.

Brandi has been
pretty consistent

in showing up
during this Lyme journey.

We're gonna go upstairs,
and I need to do Gigi's room.

Let's just hang there.
- Oh, okay.

- She's not a fake.

Like, she doesn't...
She doesn't manipulate thoughts

before they come out.

It's just like,
"Blah, it's here,"

and it's not always cute.

It's not always good,
but it's real.

- I had a date last night.
- You did? With who?

- He's so cute.

A guy I met on Tinder.

- Oh, my God, aren't you scared?

You're crazy.

- Last night was really good,
and he's super hot,

but he had short arms.

- So what?
- It was like... I don't know.

- Oh, my God, you're so mean.

- I know.
- That is so mean.

- No, he... I liked...

- You got to get off this list
of what they should be.

You got to just
go for the feeling

and for somebody's heart.

Who would even say that?

It's like, I wouldn't even
come up with that.

Like, even if I thought it,

I'd be shy to say it.

- How are you and David doing?

- Good.
- Yeah?

- You know, it's been
a challenge, four years.

- Yeah, no, of course.
- I mean, the guy...

I said to him,
"You married a lemon, baby."

- Okay.

- But we're making lemonade,
so hopefully we'll...

You know, it's...
You know, it's a challenge.

I mean, he's... it's hard on him
not having a wife.

- I'm sure.

I think that Yo
is really hard on herself

because she used to be
David's everything.

- This is for you.

- Oh, my God.

- She used to
take care of David.

She did everything for him.

"Yes, my love.

"What do you want
for dinner, my love?

"I love you, my love.

Here's lingerie, my love."

- Hi, my love.

- Oh, my God.

Wow.

You had a plan.

- A boring...
- You had a plan.

That cute?

- And now it's like,
"Cricket-cricket."

Tell the girls I say "Hi,"

and I know Bella had a birthday.

Just tell her I say,
"Happy birthday."

- Yeah, she had her birthday.

She turned 19.

- That is crazy.

And she's dating
The Weeknd still?

- He's so cute.

- I have a crush on him.

- It was hilarious
because he said,

"Will you listen to my album?"

I'm going like,
"Okay, this is really great.

"As the mother
of your girlfriend,

I'm not so sure
about the lyrics."

Some of them...
- Yes, some of them.

- I like the sound of the music.

Not that crazy about the words.

Last week we went to Camille's
charity event at her house,

and Lisa Rinna walks in,
like, all bent out of shape,

and then all of a sudden,
she started laying in on me

about me having lunch
with you and Kim.

- She's mad?

- She's mad 'cause one of you
posted it on social media.

- Well, I think that wig glue
is going to her brain,

and she needs to check herself,
because...

- Her what?

- That glue
that she puts that wig on with

is affecting her brain.

Like, what... really?

- She doesn't wear the wig.
- Yes.

It's, like, one wig
and one style.

- What means "wig"?

Like, you put a...
- The whole thing.

I want get one
and be her for Halloween.

- You're lying.
- No, I'm not lying.

She wears wigs. - [laughs]

- Dear Lisa Rinna,
get a fáááing life,

eat some food,

and stop talking
about my friend.

You have nothing else
going on in your life.

♪ Straightjacket, #realfriends.

Motherfáááer, get some help.

- She told people that
I have Munchausen disease.

- She did not.
- Yeah, she's awful.

- Yeah.
- It's awful.

- That is... what the fááá?

What is wrong with her?

- I mean, I don't even know.

- Well, you know,
Kyle said it best

when she said they like
to prey on the weak,

'cause I feel like, you know,

Kim, obviously,
has her struggles.

They went after her
'cause she's a easy target.

"You're sick,
so let's go after you."

- It's all... it's karma, baby.

♪ ♪

- Okay, we'll go
to your room first.

- Okay.
- To Miss Kyle.

- Hold on a sec.

We can't say it's Miss Kyle's
until I check it out first.

- Excuse me, you're my guest.

Scram.

- So this is the master bedroom
that you are staying.

- This is my room.

I want this room.

- I'm sure you do.

Just look at my bathroom.

Look at my makeup area.

- Hello.

We've arrived.

Well, after 24 bloody hours
to get there,

I need a royal suite
at the end of this journey.

Things are looking up.

♪ ♪

- Wow, it's already amazing.

[gasps]

Oh, no.

- Lisa.

- Stop them.
- Lisa.

- I've never seen a room
this big.

This is so...
This is so gorgeous.

- [gasps] Oh, lookit.

Oh, my God.

You get to see right
out into the...

- Oh, the sharks are there.

- I know you're not
supposed to cuss in Dubai,

but this is fáááing amazing.

- I should just
move from Pasadena

and just live here.

- Right?

- Do you know what's cool
about this?

- I know.
- These are real rose petals.

- Yeah, yeah, look at this.

It is so gorgeous.

I did not expect to be staying
in a suite this big.

I mean, I expected really nice,

but this is a whole new level.

- Oh! [laughing]

- [gasps] Oh, I love it so much.

- Wow, it's so peaceful.
- I love this.

- Unbelievable.
- You know what?

It's much more peaceful
than I thought.

I thought it would be scary.

- This is the bathroom here.

- Can I come up to our room?
- So we have pool over here.

We can play pool.
- You want to play pool?

- So I'll prepare
everything for you.

- Oh, this is so much fun.
- This is a nice room.

- Here you go.

- Oh, wow.

This is a cozy
little lounge area.

- Hey, Erika?
- Yes?

- It's amazing.
- This is pretty ridiculous.

- This place is ridiculous.

- Hey, where are you?
- I'm in here.

- Hello.

- Oh, look at that shark.
- This is phenomenal.

- What's this?

- We've prepared dinner for you.
- That is gorgeous.

So you've prepared
all this for us?

- Yes.

- Hi, guys. Hi, buddies.

- Okay, it's way
groovier than I thought.

- These are my roommates.

You got lucky,
'cause they're better roommates.

I'd rather be with these sharks
than the other sharks.

- [laughs]

- Kyle?
- Lisa?

Come here.

- Kyle?

- Come here.
I'm in the bathroom.

- You're gonna like it,

your royal highness
in the royal suite.

I hope you don't feel guilty
about being in here.

- I don't one iota.

Let me see how you look.

- Okay, you're gonna like it.

- You look amazing.

- You like it?
- I love it.

It looks so good.

- I think I'm a muumuu
type of girl.

I'm suddenly muumuu converted.

I love this feeling
of just floating around

and letting it all hang out.

Call me "Muumuu Vanderpump"
from now on.

I like this feeling.

Oh, my God.

I wonder what
their rooms are like.

Well, hopefully...
And there's no way

they're gonna be
as good as this.

Come on.

- Well, Eileen's
sleeping with a shark.

[laughter]

- Nobody wants to be in that.

- Oh.
- [gasps]

- They're right over there.
- Wow.

- Oh, my gosh.

- [gasps] Fáááing wow... sorry.

Saying the word "fááá,"
this is worth

almost getting locked up for.

Like, fááá, this is really good.

- Oh, my gosh.
- This is it.

You guys, this is it.

We are, like, in it.

- Wow.

- Coming up...

- I don't think that's fair
to say about her 'cause...

- It's just an opinion
that I have.

- And I know you're gonna...
Well, I know you're gonna say,

"It's my opinion."
- That can be my opinion.

- I didn't say you couldn't
have an opinion.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God. - This is it.

You guys, this is it.

We are, like, in it.

- Wow.
- Is that them?

- How'd they get in?
No security?

- No, what is this?

- Hello.
- Hi, guys.

- Hi, ladies.
- Hello.

- Whoo!

- I love it.
- I know.

- You guys look fantastic.

- You could not
be more beautiful.

[all talking at once]

- This is incredible.

- How are your rooms, girls?

- It's really good.
- Amazing.

- It's really...
I mean, it's kind of a dump

compared to this, but nothing...

- I have a feeling there's
no dumps in this hotel.

- No.
- No.

- Come on.

I have gifts for everybody,
so hold on.

I'll be right back. - Oh.

I'd love a gift.

- Look at this TV.
- Oh, wow.

- That color is spectacular.

- Really? I wore this to school.
- You look really beautiful.

- Yeah, this is
a great look on you.

- I wore this colors to...
- This is a great...

- This is your element.

- Yeah.
- Do come in.

You have to stay here.

- Gosh.

- I come bearing gifts.

- Did you?
- This one is yours.

- Oh, wow.

Thank you so much.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- I think I have to
put it on right now.

- Go in the bathroom, darling.

- I'm always kind of
the one that wants

to go the opposite direction

and not be exactly like
everyone's dressed,

but I'll put one on.

- We're in Dubai, Kyle.

- Isn't this exciting?
- We're in Dubai.

- Whoo.

- What's your room like?

Is it scary or not?

- No, it's not scary.
- Wait, I don't understand.

- Does it feel claustrophobic,
or does it feel...

- Well, it's only
on the ground floor,

so I have two more stories.

- Wait, you have two floors?
- Three floors.

- Much better.
- Let's have a look.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Now you get along, sweetie.

- There we go.
- Oh, yes.

- Fun, right?
- What is this?

- Baba ghanoush.
- Oh.

- Like baba ghanoush.

He says it properly.

I say it wrong.

- Yeah, we're saying it wrong.

- I love this kind of food.

- I say "hummus."
- Hummus.

- Hummus, hummus,
either way it tastes good to me.

- Too bad Yolanda
couldn't make it.

- I know.
- I know.

- So how was it? New York?

- It was really nice.

It was very, very nice.

The kids were
absolutely beautiful.

- Yeah.
- All there supporting her.

- It's special; it was.
- Her mom being there was...

- Everyone was very emotional.
- Was it a big event?

- Yes, it was.
It was a big event.

- I saw pictures.
I wasn't there.

I was working.
- It was a big event.

- You know,
she said in her speech...

Yolanda made a speech. - Right.

- In her speech she said
that Bella and Anwar have Lyme.

- She said that?
- Yes.

- Yep, and they were crying.

They have it.

- And what was that like?

- Lisa, it was really touching,

and I wish
you could've been there,

because I think that
you would've seen something

that maybe would've answered
some questions for you perhaps,

and I think that
she spoke beautifully,

and I think that
it was a nice moment.

- Well, that's nice.
- Yeah.

I... I wish you could've
been there.

- It was really eye-opening.

- I've never doubted
that she's sick.

I think that
there's some times...

And here's where
I have a question,

and Eileen and I have had

quite a talk about it, you know?

I question sometimes,
not her sickness,

how she uses it,
how she displays it,

and when she chooses to show up
and when she doesn't.

I do think that Yolanda
uses her illness

as a shield and as a pass

and not held accountable
for certain things.

My business? No.

My opinions... I've had

strong, strong
opinions about that.

- I think she's doing
all she can.

I really do, and I don't think

that she's picking and choosing.

I think she would like
to be here with us tonight.

- I do too.
- I don't think...

Why would you rather be at home

instead of being here?

Look at where we are.

This is a gorgeous place, Lisa.

I mean, who doesn't want
to see their two daughters

absolutely dominate fashion week
in New York and Paris?

- I know. I know that.

- Who wants to stay
in a bathrobe?

I don't think that's fair
to say about her, 'cause...

- It's just an opinion
that I had.

- No, and I know you're gonna...
Well, I know you're gonna say,

"It's my opinion," but you know,

the fact is,
the woman is doing all she...

- But I can have opinion.
- I didn't say you couldn't.

- That can be my opinion.

- I didn't say you couldn't
have an opinion,

but I know that
that's all she can do.

She's operating
at the best level she can.

Seems a little tiresome
to always be so opinionated.

It's on ten, like, all the time.

- I just... I really...
I still don't understand that

after our talk
on the beach, Lisa.

I don't understand.

- My gut feeling... as much
as I want to love Yolanda

and be her best friend,
my gut says,

"Run for the fáááing
hills, lady."

She scares the sháá out of me,

'cause I think she's more
manipulative than anybody.

- I don't understand,
I really don't.

I didn't understand it that day.

- Well, what don't
you understand?

We were having very...

- I don't understand
why you question it still.

I mean, why it's still a thing.

It seems to still be a thing.

- I'm... I'm saying...

- But you had
other feelings about...

- I have other feelings.
I have...

- About the Kim
and the Brandi and... yeah.

- But that's separate.
- But not the Lyme disease?

But not the Lyme disease.
- I know she's sick.

I do not question
her being sick.

- Right.

And I don't know
why the photo bothers you.

That's what I kept
saying to you.

- Well, I think
the photo bothers me

because it's some
unresolved issues

that I feel that I'm held
to a different standard

when it comes to Yolanda,

and this is my stuff, you guys.

I'd just seen the picture,
and I was enraged by it.

It did get me. - Enraged?

That's a strong word, "enraged."

- The fact that Kim Richards

and Yolanda are good friends
with Brandi,

it boggles my mind.

How does Brandi Glanville
get to call

Yolanda's daughter an alcoholic,

and Yolanda's okay with that?

But yet, all of us,

we can't even question,
talk, do anything?

I don't understand it.

There's so much
negativity there.

Why would you be drawn to that?

[dramatic music]

- I'd just seen the picture,

and I was enraged by it.

- Enraged?

That's a strong word, "enraged."

- I was angry.

- Why, though?

- What really got me was,
you had a dinner that night,

and for her to do that
and not come to your dinner...

- I know, but...

- She's supposed
to be your friend.

I did not understand that.
- I know.

But Lisa, I understand,
but you know what?

And I told you she texted me,

"Erika, I'm not well.

Do you still want me to come?"

And I said, "Absolutely not.

You know, don't worry about it."

- I think that Yolanda
wasn't feeling well

and didn't come
to Erika's dinner party

because she had exerted
all of her energy

at the lunch
with Brandi and Kim.

I'd want to fáááing go to bed

after I had lunch
with Brandi and Kim also.

- Do I feel like she ran away
with Kim and Brandi

and didn't come to my dinner?

No, it's fine.

She's doing whatever she can.

- Okay, but...
- We're good.

- How did you feel
about that dinner?

♪ ♪

- You know, my dinner did not
go the way I wanted it to.

It got ugly, and that's not
what I wanted for my husband,

and it was very
uncomfortable for me.

- Someone doesn't prove
themselves to you by,

like, going over and...

- Wait a minute now.
- Whoa, time-out.

I'm not finished with my...
- Okay, well, fine.

- Why are you yelling
at me in my own home?

Why are you being so aggressive?

- But it wasn't
about the conversation.

You were just saying
that it was an altercation

in his house
at his home at dinner,

and it was
the first time he met.

- Yeah, it was not the place.
- I get that.

- I just don't think
that you would've

appreciated that in your home.

- I get it, yeah.

- I had no idea, like,
it was gonna be, like, so,

like, over-the-top and that...
I was like...

- I didn't make it
a huge deal with you.

I just said, "Uh-uh.

What have you been saying,
like that at Wally's?"

And we kind of moved
on quite quickly from it.

- Right, we did.
- Bam, that was it.

- But then it got brought up
back at the house.

- But then it got
bigger and bigger,

and then at your house, yeah.

I know you didn't mean
it meanspirited.

I'm okay with that. - Good.

Night one, and we're really
getting it going.

Can't we have fun?

We're always fighting.

"You said this,
and I said that."

Fááá.

- You guys, I want to go
look at the view outside.

- Please, Let's think about
good things, not bad things.

- Wow, look at this.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Wow, look at this.

Oh, my gosh. - Cheers, girls.

To good health, happiness,

and friendship.

- To friendship.
- I like that.

- I do too.

- Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- You've got to
change your shoes.

- These are my sensible shoes.

- Oh, this is so romantic.

- [screams]

- How fast?
- Depend how brave you are.

- Oh, I'm brave. I'm in.

[all screaming]

- Is that an AK-47?
- [laughs]

- But you said "Kyle."
Why didn't you bring Kyle up?

- I said... no, I didn't.

No, I didn't say that.
- Why did you say that?

Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.

- I don't know if I've ever
caught anybody

lying to my face like that ever.

She feels like
they're owning up to it.

She knows exactly
what she's doing,

and that makes me really sad.

- If you're going
to take me down,

I will take you down
in flames with me.

- Your head is really far
up her ass, it looks like.

- I'm not a bully by nature.
- Okay, I get it.

- Why's it okay for me
to take the bullet all the time?

- I don't freaking care.

- Just learn to say
you're sorry.

It was rude. It was offensive.

- She's like a dog with a bone.

Grr.

- She's lying!
- It really has been enough.

- Yeah.
- Relax, relax.