The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 5, Episode 9 - Live and Learn - full transcript
Kyle and Yolanda both have common concerns about their daughters attending college. In other developments, Lisa Vanderpump discovers her son's aspirations. Lisa Rinna shoots a film with husband Harry Hamlin and magic man Penn Jillette. Brandi sizes up her former husband's new reality show.
- Previously on The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills...
- Hi, darling.
So you didn't bring
your girlfriend home?
Well, thank you for that.
A child's loyalty
is always to the person
they're sleeping with.
- You can model.
You don't have to model.
Bella just got accepted
to Parsons School of Design.
I can't wait to see what kind of
trouble you're gonna get into.
[phone ringing] Hello?
David told me that
Bella had gotten a DUI.
I already lost my dad
in a car accident.
Like, I can't... I can't even...
- I personally told Eddie
that he could [bleep] off,
and he's not getting
any money from me.
I don't want to be paying
lawyers' bills
when that money
could be going for
a college fund for our children.
- There are lots
of great schools here.
If you're not happy,
you can come home.
[upbeat music]
- Throw me to the wolves,
and I shall return
leading the pack.
- Character isn't what you have;
it's who you are.
- You've heard a lot about me,
but it's only true
when it comes from my lips.
- I'm not a bitch,
but I've played one on TV.
- I've been rich,
and I've been famous,
but happiness beats them both.
- I'd rather spend my life
kicking ass
than kissing it.
- Planes and yachts are nice,
but my happiness starts at home.
- I'm exhausted.
- Wow, I love your shoes, Lisa.
- You do? I don't like them.
They're going to end up
in your closet very soon.
- [laughs]
You have a nice bag, too.
- Stop keeping an eye
on all my things.
- I love all
your clothes and shoes.
[line ringing]
- Hello?
- Hi, darling.
- Hi, Mum. How are you?
- Good. Did you get the check?
- I did, yeah, thank you.
- Okay.
- How are you?
- I'm tired.
I'm overworked and underpaid.
- You do work hard, don't you?
- Yes.
I'd like to see you work harder,
that's for sure.
- I'm... I want to.
- Max, my son,
he's working at Sur.
Oh, you're working tonight?
- Yeah.
- He's got to do
every shift he can,
because he's gonna pay me back.
Go on, back to work. - [laughs]
- Max has decided he doesn't
want to go to college,
music college, any longer.
He got an A+ for this.
- Look at this. He made this.
- Oh, my God.
- You made that?
- He made it.
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's incredible.
And have confidence in yourself.
- It's amazing.
- You know,
his first words were, "I can't."
If you're not gonna
stay in school,
then you've got
to make it on your own.
Now, if making it on your own
is working at
one of our restaurants,
well, it's not quite,
but at least he's working.
- I want to be successful
like you and Dad, you know?
And I want to be able to
afford things
and go on holiday just
like Panny and Jason, you know?
- Well, they work
their butts off, darling.
Why do you feel that
you're not as motivated as us?
- Well, I'm content
with everything
you and Dad have given me,
and I'm lazy, you know.
- You're not really lazy
if you're getting up and
you're working five days a week
and you're, you know,
that's not lazy.
It's just you're not ambitious,
you know?
I left home at 18,
and I certainly didn't
ask for a penny
from my parents since then.
Pandora was valedictorian
at school,
and she worked her way
through college, as well.
Do you want to meet me tomorrow,
and we can talk?
So now, yes, Max
has to make it on his own.
- What time
would you want to meet?
- Maybe at lunchtime sometime.
- Of course, yeah.
- All right.
I love you.
- I love you too, Mum.
- Bye.
- Is this us?
- Our luggage is right here.
Why'd you bring so much luggage?
- What do you mean?
I'm moving here.
- Alexia,
this is the thing I bought
to make the mattress
more cushiony.
- Yeah, I'm gonna need
a new mattress for sure.
- Taking Alexia
to college like this is painful.
I don't think it feels natural
to all of a sudden
just be with your child every
single second since they're born
and then just
leave them someplace.
You guys exhausted?
- I'm freezing.
- Why don't you borrow
Portia's sweatshirt?
- You think that's gonna fit me?
- It's terrible.
I want to be like,
"Yes, go and spread your wings
and fly."
[bleep] that.
- Welcome to Tucson.
Everybody follow me.
- We're following you, honey.
We're like your ducklings.
Quack, quack.
- It's hot.
Alexia, look at your school.
- Beautiful.
- Oh, here comes a police coming
out
right after you.
- Well, at least we know
we're safe around here.
I follow the Tucson police
on Twitter.
- You do?
- When I'm in L.A.
and I can see on my Twitter
that the Tucson police have got
everything under control,
I'm gonna feel good.
If they tweet something
really scary,
I'm gonna be on the next plane.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Mauricio, how do you do?
- How do you do?
- Thank you very much.
- Hi, I'm Kyle.
- I'm Nikki.
- Nikki, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Kyle, I'm Chris.
- Very nice to meet you, Chris.
- So, Nikki, are you a senior
now?
- Yeah,
I'm a senior physiology student,
and obviously
I'm an ambassador tour guide.
- Awesome.
- She is, so, Alexia,
if you've got questions,
she knows it.
- I just need to find a place
that I can grab something
to eat really quickly.
- All right, well, I can
take them right over there.
- Okay, sounds good.
- Oh, awesome.
- Okay, we'll see you guys in a
bit... give me a kiss.
- You guys want to go with me?
- God, I have to say,
the sky here is so beautiful.
- I think it's supposed to rain
right after you guys leave...
- Yeah, I saw that.
- But definitely
you should be here
for a monsoon sometime.
- I always had very good grades,
and I actually wanted
to be a lawyer.
But I was acting,
and I already had a career,
so my mom didn't encourage it.
- This huge wall of dust
that just
overtakes the whole city.
They call it a brown-out. - Oh.
- Like, if you're trying to
drive to California,
or if you're trying
to drive to Phoenix...
- You have to stop.
- Yeah,
you have to pull over.
- Yeah, you won't be
driving to L.A.
- This is Old Main.
The great part
about the campus is
it's a one-square-mile campus.
- Yeah.
- So I don't know
if you're bringing a bike.
We have a free bike valet.
So you can bike there,
drop off your bike,
and just pick it up after class.
- Hopeful... hopefully
pick it up after class.
- Well, they have people
watching the bike valet
the whole... - Oh, okay.
I hate that
I didn't go to college.
So that's why it's so important
for me that my kids go.
Kind of know now
why my mom didn't push me.
- I'm glad you guys have
a woman president of the school.
- Me too.
- Especially having
four daughters.
I'm all about empowering women.
- We're walking
to the shade, honey.
Honey, don't get your daughter
in trouble already.
- Dad.
- Hey, I'm at college.
I'm allowed to be
a little annoying.
- You're not in college. I am.
- I love this park.
Bella, you can always
bring lunch here and sit there.
- I can't wait to
see it all put together.
- Your first house, baby.
All of a sudden,
it looks like so much stuff.
Is there a nightstand
you can put on the...
- Dude, it's... I'll see
it all in, like, an hour.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- If I'm late for school,
I think that...
- Yeah, we can't...
Can't be late for school.
- Yeah.
- I don't think it ever
gets easy sending your girls
off to college.
I feel like I should have
written a manual
with a checklist
of all the things
you need to talk about
with your daughter
when she goes off to college.
Last year, it was so new for me.
Like, I panicked about a lot
of different things then
that I did this year.
But this year
was equally as hard.
So whatever we're gonna
give to your cousins,
let's go through that first.
- That jacket,
I honestly don't think
I want to get rid of.
- But Bella, you've got
to think New York now.
- I will wear this in New York.
- This year was maybe even
harder.
Bella's DUI earlier this summer
kind of changed,
made me insecure
about letting her go.
Just remember that every...
Every child going to school
today is as nervous as you are.
So, you know,
put out the same energy
that you want for yourself.
Bella's mistake was
my biggest nightmare as a mom.
I took it personal.
Like, I thought, Oh, my God,
did I do something wrong?
Did I not teach her well enough?
Did I not tell her
what happens if you have a drink
and you get in the car?
I love you. [kisses]
- I love you too.
- Have a great day.
- Thank you.
I'm so excited about everything.
- Any child's biggest fear is
to disappoint their parent.
They need to know
that we don't push them away
if they embarrass us,
and with Bella,
I have her back always,
7 days a week, 24 hours a day.
I'll wait for you there, okay?
I'll be working hard,
and I'll see you there.
Bye, my love.
- Hi.
- Hey, Brandi.
- How are you?
- Good. How are you doing?
- Good. It's so hot outside.
- I'll help
the next guest in line.
- I'll just have
an iced coffee, please.
- Small cafe vanilla.
- Shall we?
- Yeah, let's go outside.
- Thank you.
Ooh, it is a little breezy.
I like it.
Oy.
I don't want to put my purse
on the floor,
'cause that always means
losing money.
Okay, so,
I need just some clearance
on Eddie's letter.
He said in the press that I...
He's not saying
that he's asking me for money.
Like, wh... I don't understand
what's happening.
- Eddie is actually asking
for child support
and spousal support
that he says he overpaid.
- My ex-husband is the one
that makes up the number
every six months
about what he's giving me.
So I don't know
how now he's coming up
with a total of $114,000
and would like to take it
out of my retirement account.
It makes me want to throw up.
He's saying he makes $0,
but they just did a TV show.
I know he got money from that.
And I'd rather honestly
just go to court.
- Court's gonna be
way more expensive.
Part of my job is to try
to make sure that,
you know, the fees are low,
and I'm not gonna run up a bill.
So let's see if
I can put a lid on it.
If not, you're the boss.
- Everyone that thinks
I don't want my ex-husband
to succeed is wrong.
Do I want him getting a job?
Hell mother[bleep] yes, I do.
Because it's great
for all of us.
He can feel like a man.
He can be the provider,
and my kids are happy.
- I think that
your position is strong.
Let me just have a little leeway
to try to work a deal with
his lawyer 'cause I think I can.
If you end up in litigation,
then you're gonna be really mad.
- I hope that peace
is in my future with Eddie.
I do hope that one day,
we can all sit around a table
at Thanksgiving, his wife,
his in-laws, my parents,
and just get along.
Like, that would be amazing.
- But this is something
that should settle,
and I'm thinking
favorably to you.
- I just feel like
this is divorce all over again.
And I don't...
I just want it to be done.
- Yeah.
- Coming up...
- The plot of the movie is
that they are
making a cop movie.
Harry's been on the set where
an actress has not shown up.
- I'm playing Lisa Rinna,
married to Harry Hamlin.
That's [bleep] up.
- How's Martha Stewart?
- Hey. Did you see the broccoli?
- Look at you, you're...
- This is broccolini.
Do you think that's enough
for seven people?
To give, like... - No.
Guys, she's got dinner ready.
- Hey, guys!
It's gonna get cold,
and then I'm gonna kill you.
[laughing]
I was a lot nicer before I got
inducted into this house of men.
Oh, my God.
When my stepsons
moved in with me in Malibu,
Duke was eight
and Vinny was six.
- Wow. This looks great.
- So right, I'm gonna sit here.
Everybody else can grab a plate.
I'm the youngest of seven kids,
so I'm used to
chaos in the household.
A lot of sibling rivalry
and stuff going on,
so it's been kind
of like second nature to me
to have a lot of kids around.
- Are you guys excited
about going back, fourth year?
- I can't wait.
- You guys both
in the same fraternity.
How fun is that?
- Very excited.
Thatcher's been...
remove the deck.
- Coolest place ever.
- That's so great.
- Put a Jacuzzi in there
and everything. It's gonna be...
- You guys are living the life.
- I'm getting a little lemon
zest on the chicken.
I like it.
[laughing]
- I actually love being a
stepmom.
It's challenging.
It's a whole different
realm of parenting.
So Sev, what's going on?
Have you talked to Gigi
at all lately?
Sorry, with your mouth full.
- Yeah.
- You have to earn
their respect.
You have to earn their love.
It's not like when
you have a biological child
and it's just unconditional.
So you kind of have to
find your own place.
You have to make your own way,
and it can be difficult
because I'm not their mom,
and I never wanted to take
that place in their lives.
- No, not too much, actually.
- No?
- Uh-uh.
- She's in New York now, right?
- I think she's doing great.
It's awesome.
- But you took her out
on a date before.
- I asked her to the senior
prom.
- Senior prom, I know.
- The sun is killing me.
- Smile.
[camera shutter clicks]
- The sun is killing me.
- Smile.
- I told you that
I did the hot yoga today.
- I do it three times a week.
- Jeez, he's getting...
- Where is it?
Where is it? - At Carbon Beach.
Right below Gigi's house.
[laughing] [indistinct chatter]
- They used to say about me,
they go, "Eileen, well,
she's tough but she's fair."
And I, you know,
I take that as a compliment.
Even though you have your dips
in relationship with kids,
I think
they respect me more for it.
I've also spoiled them rotten.
[laughs]
Guys, you know the drill, right?
- All right.
- Like, do your own dishes.
- We'll clean it all up.
Don't worry.
- Okay.
- Thank you for dinner.
- You're welcome, guys.
- Bravo!
Let's hear it for her.
- Yay, oh, thank you. Thank you.
[cheering]
Oh, it's nothing, it's nothing.
- So, Eric?
- Yeah.
- I'm not quite
feeling the dining room here.
Somehow we should put
the dining room
right in front of the thing,
and then move side table here.
It's so hard trying to
find an apartment in New York.
Last year, we just by luck run
into this great building
that was just done, and
it was just perfect for Gigi.
You know, without a...
I forgot to...
We forgot to get you
a sewing kit.
- I was going to grab one today,
but I thought you had
already gotten it, so...
That's okay.
I know... I know where they are.
- Hello?
- This year,
I found two apartments
that I lost by the time
I got all the paperwork together
and emailed everything,
like, somebody already came,
put the check, and took it.
- Any changes to
this floor plan or, are we...
- Yes, we're gonna move
that in front of the window.
- Okay, got that.
- And then one chair here
and one chair in this bedroom.
- Do you have the rugs?
The first thing we'd like
is to put the rugs down.
- Yes, yes, yes.
We're gonna place the rugs down.
Both: Yeah.
- Bella, this first year,
I want her to focus on,
you know, doing the best
she can in school.
So we are providing
all her living expenses.
Oh, my God, it's so cute.
It feels like real.
I've been lucky with Gigi.
I helped her the first year,
and I hope by the time
they reach 21, I can say,
"Goodbye, come and take
Mommy for a vacation now."
[laughs]
This is from her room at home.
Yay, the wall of love.
- Voila.
- No, no,
I wanted to place it like that.
- Underneath?
- What's gonna go under?
- Yeah. I'll put it.
Why don't you guys
hold the bed up?
I wasn't raised
with people helping me.
So I am a do-it-yourselfer.
Yeah, I think that's cute,
and then I can place the chair
right here.
Perfect.
You know, if you want something
done right, you do it yourself.
Hey, Eric?
- Yup?
- I don't think this is the
couch.
- We do have the other one.
Like we did for Gigi,
we have the...
- Yeah, because we
talked about that, right?
- Yeah, no.
I... I said it was a good idea.
- Yeah.
- But I don't remember
you saying...
- Yeah, and I said yes.
- I suggested it,
but I guess it was just
a miscommunication. - 'Cause...
When I design something,
only my brain
can put it all together.
Like, you know,
I'm not gonna rely on, you know,
a mover guy to decide where
my coffee table is gonna go.
I think these two pieces
are way too bulky.
- They have... there's another one
that's lower in black. - Petite?
- So I think that that would
look better in here, as well.
- I mean, that's my forte.
That's what I do.
- I can have them just
bring the other ones.
We'll just switch it out.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You're sure
you can change it,
switch it around?
- Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
- Oh, my God, that's so good.
- We're here, girls.
I hope Farrah's here.
Come on, guys.
- Welcome to Loews, guys.
- Thank you.
- Hello. There's my girl.
- Farrah.
Hi, honey. How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Mwah.
- Oh, hey,
it's so good to see you.
- It's so good to see all
of you.
- What's going on?
- Where's Alexia?
- She stayed at school.
She's doing a...
She has a rush meeting,
and then they start,
like, rush week tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, that's crazy.
- Crazy.
- I mean,
You guys never went to camp.
You never, like, left.
This is not normal.
It doesn't feel right
and natural.
When Farrah left to go to NYU,
I cried that entire month
following.
After two years,
she transferred to USC,
and I was so happy.
Well, let's get checked in.
Come on, Portia.
Of course, a part of me
wants Alexia
to finish out
the four years at U of A,
but the other little
twisted side of me
would love for her
to transfer closer to home.
Is that wrong?
That's a gorgeous view.
Honey, that golf course
is calling your name.
- Can I eat one of these things?
- Yes, that's
what it's there for, honey.
Can you believe
this is really happening?
- No, I really don't.
I mean, I can't believe it.
- Like, two down, two to go.
I want to take Alexia's linens
and things like that
over to her house
and put her bedding on.
- Oh, yeah.
- We need to get, like,
pretty, like, pillows
and things like that.
- What vibe is she going with?
- And it's very m...
It has to be modern,
because it's that kind
of feeling that... the building.
Alexia's going to live
in an apartment
because she was waitlisted
on getting a dorm.
I wanted her to be in a dorm
to be with other people
and have a community.
She's so sweet,
and she looks so little.
She's gone from being
a little girl living at home
to an apartment.
Even though she's very wise
beyond her years,
she's really an old soul,
but she just looks...
- Yeah.
- She looks tiny.
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- She's gonna have so much fun.
- It'll be fine.
- And she made friends
really easily.
Like, she made friends with...
- She's so social.
- She makes friends
with everybody.
- That's not the problem.
That's not
what we're worried about.
We want her presence at home.
- Yeah, it has...
I know that she...
- This is not a question
of whether
she's gonna survive or not.
- Yeah.
- She'll come home
all the time. - I know.
- Probably way more than I did.
- You don't have to take a
flight.
- Who doesn't?
- She used to.
You weren't born yet.
When Farrah was in college
was when you were in my tummy.
By the time Portia leaves, ugh.
I'm... that's just... better just
put me in a straitjacket.
Guess why we had you? - Why?
- Because she left for college.
And we said,
"We want another baby."
[kisses]
- So every time one goes,
you'll have another one? - Yeah.
- I'm pregnant.
[all laughing]
- I think we have enough kids.
- Coming up...
- I think they've mentioned
your name about 503 times now.
- Oh, look at her,
she's trying to
get him to get a tattoo.
Eddie will never get a tattoo.
- Oh, they said your name again.
- Leann is
a [bleep]-try music star.
Wait, what did she just say?
[phone ringing]
- Hello, sweetheart.
Where are you?
- I'm on my way.
I just left the house.
- I'm just getting
out of the makeup trailer now.
- Are you in a scene
in... before me?
I love to do anything.
I love a job.
But acting is so fun.
- I don't know
when we're gonna rehearse,
but probably not long
after you get here.
- I love nothing more than to be
on a set
with a director, creating.
It's so much fun.
It's what I live for.
All right.
- See you in a minute.
- Love you.
- Bye.
Ahh.
Red leather, yellow leather,
red leather, yellow leather,
red leather, yellow leather.
Wing away, wing away,
wing away, wing away.
Gutta-butta-gutta-butta-gutta-
butta-gutta-butta...
As an actor, you have to
have your voice ready to go.
Certainly you've got
to get these lips in action,
or you're fumbling your words.
[vibrating lips]
Mmm-ah.
Hmm-ah.
Ooh.
Mmm.
Head voice.
Ha. Ha, ha, hmm-ah.
Mmm.
All good.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- We'll get you over here and
get you with Adam, the director,
and... - Great.
- Adam?
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Nice to see you.
- It's so great to see you.
- How... I'm good.
- Thank you so much
for being here.
- It's my pleasure.
Wait, is this the big man?
Look at you.
- How are you doing?
Good to see you.
Don't I look wonderful?
- Oh, my gosh.
My friend Penn Jillette
wrote a movie called
The Director's Cut,
and Harry plays a lead.
- The plot of the movie is that
they are making a "cop movie."
- And Harry's the actor
that's being...
- And Harry's been on the set
where an actress has
not shown up.
- Penn calls me, and he says,
"I've written you in
to play yourself."
And I will do anything
for Penn Jillette.
Probably not porn,
but anything else.
So, I'm playing me
as Harry's wife.
- You're playing Lisa Rinna.
Yep. - Excellent.
- All right.
- Thanks, hon.
- Thank you.
- Love you.
All right, hi, girls. - Hello.
- I came camera-ready,
but do your thing.
Whatever, you know, help me.
- Okay, we'll fix you up.
- I have no script.
I just get an outline.
So really,
I have no idea what I'm doing
other than
I'm gonna be Lisa Rinna,
which sometimes is harder than
playing a character, my friend.
- Hey, hey.
- There you are.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, baby.
- Mwah.
Welcome to our set.
Did you get a chance
to talk to Penn
about what you're gonna do?
- Be myself.
Not only am I playing
Lisa Rinna,
I'm playing Lisa Rinna
married to Harry Hamlin.
That's [bleep] up.
So let's do it
and just see what he says.
- Okay.
- They'll either love it
or they'll hate it.
- Wherever we are.
- You sit here.
Lisa, why don't you sit here?
- Okay.
- Be quiet for rehearsal.
- Okay, everybody's very tense.
- Let me ask you
about the tension.
Is the tension established
by the fact that
we're all suspects, aren't we?
- Correct. I think less is more.
I just want to make sure
it feels natural,
so let's... let's do that.
- And action.
- When I'm acting
with my husband, it's so weird,
because it's Harry,
but he's acting,
and I'm acting.
- And I'll do a big look.
I'll do this. - Yeah.
- I'll do...
- Yeah.
But yet it's my husband.
And when it's... let me help you.
Let me cover you.
You just stay positive.
You just do your thing here,
and...
[both laughing]
You kind of have
an outer-body experience,
because there's a comfort level,
but yet there's not.
It makes no sense at all,
I know.
- I think we got
lots of fantastic stuff,
and I can chop into it
and do jump cuts.
It'll be great.
Thanks, gang.
- I like to watch him work.
I don't know
if he likes to watch me work.
I don't... I'm not sure
what he thinks of me, really,
to be honest.
Thank you all.
Thank you for indulging us.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Hey.
- Perfect timing.
- It looks so good.
- Come and see your bed.
Doesn't that look comfy?
- Literally.
- Let's see how it feels.
And I'm so exhausted.
What do you think about it?
- Amazing.
I have something for you.
- What is it?
- Just a card.
I just don't want you to
worry about me
being in New York alone.
- "Mommy, please
believe me when I say that I'm,
"from the deepest part
of my heart,
"sorry for what I did.
"I know there is no excuse,
"but the only thing I want
is to gain back your trust
"and show you
I'm still the good girl
"you have had for 17 years
"and the girl
that you raised me to be.
"I love you.
"The one incident is
a big mistake
"that I take very seriously,
"but please trust that
this doesn't define
who I am as a person."
I think the moments
where I'm insecure about her
not being ready,
that... those are my insecurities.
I don't think they have
anything to do with Bella.
Her one mistake doesn't define
who she is as a human being.
"I love you.
Your forever baby girl."
I know you do.
I will always keep that card
with me.
[kisses]
Every day, okay? - Yeah.
You can read it
whenever you miss me.
What happened doesn't mean
that you're not a good mother,
but just that kids
make mistakes, you know?
- I know.
I still make mistakes,
and I'm 50 years old,
so I know that.
- I learned my
consequences, and...
but you can still trust me.
- I feel confident
about Bella's independence.
This experience made her stop,
reevaluate where she's going,
where she wants to get,
and she knows that there is
no second chance in this.
So this is it.
Give me a hug. I love you too.
I love you, baby.
- I love you too.
- So please be safe.
- I will.
I promise.
- This is a lemon.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is a lemon...
- On crack.
- On crack.
- On something.
- Yeah, this is your...
Remember that thing?
"This is your brain,
this is your brain on drugs"?
- Hello?
- Hello, hello.
- Hi, Brandi.
- Honey, I'm home.
- You look so bright
and festive all the time.
[dogs barking]
[kissing] - How are you?
- Shut up, dogs.
[dogs whining]
I'm so glad you guys
all wanted to come over.
Today's the premiere
of Eddie and Leann,
my ex-husband
and his wife's new reality show.
[laughs]
I wasn't gonna watch it,
but I realized
I kind of have to watch it
because I need to see
if my kids are on it.
I'm not really sure what Eddie
and Leann's side of the story
is that isn't already out there.
They cheated. They got together.
They're ass[bleep] after that.
That's their story.
Make yourselves comfortable.
All right. Let's see.
Look, there's a romantic comedy.
- I think we need, like,
a drum roll or something.
[both mimicking drum rolls]
- Oh, so it's called Leann
and Eddie, not Eddie and Leann?
- I don't want to watch
anyone brushing their teeth.
- That is not
a cute shot of her nose.
- I actually thinks
she's prettier
than people give her credit for.
- She is. Not.
- You're being generous.
- It can't be easy
to watch your ex-husband
and his new wife playing house.
I don't think
it would be very fun for me.
It would depend on which ex.
- I think they've mentioned
your name about 503 times now.
- Oh, look, she's trying
to get him to get a tattoo.
Eddie will never get a tattoo.
- Oh, there you are again.
- Oh, they said your name again.
- I'm actually their show.
I'm a character on their show
that's not on their show
because they say my name
so many times.
Ex-wife, oh, there I am. - Oh!
- Ex-wife, the bitch.
The other character
that doesn't get a check.
Wait, what did she just say?
- What?
- She's talking about your kids.
- I can't hear... can I hear it?
Can I hear it? Can I hear it?
- There you are.
- If it's a show about them
bashing me,
and they're using my children
to promote it, that upsets me.
- Why does he have to
comment on it?
- He makes my skin crawl.
Leann is
a [bleep]-try music star,
and she needs to leave my kids
out of her mouth.
Why do they think I'm putting
things out about a divorce?
Like, I don't...
- You always say you
don't want the divorce.
- I don't.
- Like, you...
What an ass[bleep].
- Ugh.
I really, truly want
their show to do well.
If they're doing well,
like, that means my child
support check gets bigger,
because right now,
Eddie's giving me,
oh, yeah, $1,000.
Awesome.
That's gonna get us a... far.
We... yeah.
Groceries for a week.
[paper hits floor]
- Well....
I don't think
it was super entertaining.
[all laughing]
- It was horrific.
It revolved all around you.
- Well, you know,
they did need the star.
[all laughing]
- Hey, baby.
Happy anniversary, yet again.
- I know, we made it.
32 years.
Ken's just so sweet.
A house full of
roses and puppies
would never get old for me.
But I know what this entails.
It means, you know,
romance is on the cards.
Just stick that here.
Okay, thanks.
Oh, perfect, more roses.
How many did you get?
- What do you want, dear?
- I think Max is coming over.
- Okay.
- I had a conversation
with him on the phone.
It seems like he wants to kind
of move on up, you know?
Max started in the restaurant
business washing dishes.
Now, by working his way up,
he will understand every aspect
of the business,
and that is a gift
that I can give him.
Hello. - How's it going?
[dogs barking]
Are you talking about me?
- It's my anniversary,
our anniversary.
- Happy anniversary, yeah?
- Hey, so your car's okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay, good, brakes...
- He's got a new one now.
He's got a BMW convertible
out there.
- It's not mine.
- Whose is it?
- It's Allison's.
- Your girlfriend's letting
you drive around her car?
- No, I'm keeping it
at my house,
and I was just using it today.
- Are you insured to drive it?
- No, I'm not.
- That is so irresponsible.
- I don't have proof of
insurance on my other car,
either.
And I don't have a registration,
either.
- I thought you said
he'd grown up and was a bit...
Acting a bit more sensible.
- Well, I didn't expect
to hear that, that's for sure.
- [laughs]
- It's not funny.
- It's pretty funny.
- It's not funny.
- How can you expect us to
support you and stick up for you
when you can't even get
your car smog tested?
- A smog test,
how long does that take?
- 'Cause I just... I...
I don't think about it.
- Max, he has put me through
there and back,
and we've struggled with him.
Not as much as many parents do,
but he certainly gave us
the run around.
We had to kick his ass.
- I'm gonna go.
I'm not gonna have
a conversation with him
about running, barbacking,
or bartending school
until he's got his car
smog tested.
- You know what? I have to admit
I'm useless at things
like registration too,
because you do stuff
like that for me.
- Well, I do the registration,
but he's got to get...
Just... gone... take it to
and get it smog tested.
- Max, you have to do that.
- Sorry.
- Why are you laughing?
It's not funny.
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- I know I'm nagging you,
but that's my job.
It shouldn't be my job now.
- I'm still a young one.
I'm still learning.
- No.
Yeah, you are still learning.
I know you've got a roof
over your head,
and you've got food
at all the restaurants.
- Uh-huh.
- You earn more shifts.
- I didn't have electricity
for three months.
- Yeah, but I don't care.
- [laughs]
- Because then you were
motivated to work more to get
your electricity turned back on.
If I'd turned it back on,
where's the motivation?
- Right.
- Max is a different animal
to Ken and I and Pandora.
Is that because
we don't share the same genes?
I don't know, because I think
each child is different,
but as long as he's happy,
what do they say?
A mother is as happy
as her saddest child.
Do you suddenly feel
that in your life you want to
take more responsibility
because you're with this girl
and she's expecting
you to grow up a bit?
- Maybe. I don't know.
- I'm happy for you to
learn the restaurant business
inside out, but I want you
to want it for yourself.
You know what I'm saying?
- I want to... I want to learn.
I really do.
- I think Max is suddenly seeing
that Pandora and Jason
are moving on up in the world
and creating their own business,
and Jason could be
stepping into the shoes
that might belong to Max.
Maybe now he needs to
step up his game.
Anything else?
- I don't think so.
- All right then.
Make sure that you
have an insurance policy.
- I do.
- Coming up...
- I hope you're
not scared of bees.
It's not gonna let me sit there.
- He's there with you now.
- Oh, stop it. Ahh!
- We got to get Alexia
her bank account situated.
- What's her budget?
I mean, how's it work?
- What is it, $500 a week?
Her school's paid for,
and her rent's paid for.
The only thing she has to
worry about is really food.
Let's just say each meal's $10.
- Where?
- $15 a meal maximum.
- [laughs]
- You really think she's going
to be going to La Scala?
- I don't know how to figure out
what number to give her.
- That's right, and it's...
So it's $30 a day.
That's 400 a week.
- What do people need?
They need food, clothing.
She'll need...
Want to get her nails painted.
- Whatever.
- Buy something.
I don't know, books?
- And then if you want
to leave extra, it's 450 a week,
so it's 900... it's 1,800 a month.
- It's... she... it's... I don't...
I don't know.
- What I'm suggesting,
I think, is a lot.
- Oh, there's Alexia.
- I love your hats.
- [laughs]
- Super, super cool.
- Hi.
Both: Mwah!
- You're losing your voice?
- Yes, so much.
- Have you been screaming?
- Yes, everyone's voice
is gone because,
like, they're all screaming.
The audience, they do this,
like, chant a million times.
And you're talking,
and the second one comes,
and it's just...
- What do you talk about?
- So they're like,
what do you want to take from,
like, Greek life?
Like, why do you want to join?
Why did you come to Arizona?
Stuff like that.
What are you studying?
And, like,
it just goes on from there.
- I think I've done so much
for my children
that I should have
give them a little more room
to do things on their own.
I'm worried about Alexia
even going through an airport
by herself.
She's never gone
through an airport by herself.
How's she gonna come home?
- All right,
here we have some burrito bowls.
- Thank you.
Portia, yours is coming down
right now, okay?
- Wait, do you have
your schedule of classes yet?
- Yeah, I only have...
- What time do your classes
start?
- I only have one 8:00 A.M.,
but it's a class I want to take,
so I don't mind,
like, waking up that early,
and it's only one day.
Only on Mondays. - Which is it?
Which class is it?
- The one that's
the relationship
between humans and animals.
- My freshman year,
all my classes started at 2:00.
- I can't even imagine
if I had gone to college
and been a lawyer.
I think I would have been
a very good lawyer.
But I'll never know.
- It's pouring rain.
- It's raining?
- So I guess we can't
really walk around today.
[food items rattle] - Ahh!
- It's a monsoon.
Look at Portia's hair.
[laughing]
- [whining]
- So I want to
ask you a question.
Obviously it's gonna be hard
when we leave,
and saying goodbye to you.
- Yeah.
- What do you think
is gonna be easiest,
driving you to school and saying
goodbye outside of the school...
- Okay.
- Which sounds like
a disaster to me.
So I was thinking maybe that
we say goodbye at the hotel,
and then have the hotel car
take you, to get to class.
What do you think about that?
- Okay.
That sounds good to me.
- I'm not as worried
about Alexia surviving
as much as Kyle is.
She's gonna learn.
It's not like
she has experience,
but she's gonna figure it out.
I know she's gonna
figure it out.
You guys, you're ready?
- I'm ready.
- Let's go.
- It is so windy. Oh, my God.
- Aah.
- It's freezing.
It's freezing, it's freezing,
it's freezing.
- Guys, we've got to go.
- I'm putting on my shirt,
for crying out loud.
- Alexia, bear down.
- And I just saw lightning.
- Oh, my God, there's lightning.
[thunder cracks] - Aah!
- Why am I doing this to myself?
- This is freezing.
- Daddy!
- Oh, my God.
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
- Hey, it's Ali.
- Hi, Ali. Come all the way up.
- Hello.
- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
- Good. Come on in.
- I will.
You look great.
- Well, thanks.
- I love your dress.
Yeah, it's so comfy. - Hi.
[grunting]
Okay, so this is
what I'm thinking,
because we have
all this room outside.
It's so pretty.
Do you want to sit
and set up your stuff here?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I want to
grab a book to take notes.
And how about something...
How about some iced tea?
- Sure, that'd be great.
- Let's do that.
I'm hosting a jewelry party
at my home
to benefit the Noreen Fraser
Cancer Foundation.
Both my mom and my sister
had breast cancer
within six months of each other
and survived.
And so that is certainly
near and dear to my heart.
- You are literally one
of the very first in L.A.
to see this. - [gasps] Really?
- This is our brand-new
collection.
- Oh, yippee.
- It came out,
like, two days ago. - Oh, cool.
Oh, really?
- These oranges and reds...
- Love.
- And hot pinks.
We're seeing a lot of that
for fall. - Are you?
What I loved about your event
with Holly Robinson Peete
was that everybody had
a great time,
and nobody
felt pressured to shop,
and everyone
was shopping like fools.
- It's literally just...
- No, it's laid out.
- Come, have fun.
- And the girls are like,
"Oh, my God," you know?
"I can be."
It was so fun. It was like...
I live...
I use these bracelets...
- Oh. We're twinsies.
- Look at. Like, constantly.
You know, my girlfriends
have all these real ones.
I mean, their whole arm
is worth $50,000.
- Right.
- Seriously.
And I'm just not that girl.
Like, it makes me too nervous.
- Right.
- I am concerned about
the ladies liking
this specific type of jewelry.
These ladies wear big,
fat [bleep] diamonds.
How many people?
- I think she had between 50-70.
- Okay.
- We were originally
expecting 50, but of course.
- I would say more like 30-40.
It just depends
on how many people.
We may need valet parking.
40 at the most, really. - Okay.
- Because then,
otherwise there's just too many.
Who loves shopping more than me?
I don't think anyone.
- This does
five different things.
Like, if the strap you buy...
- Wait, I think
Tori Spelling has this one.
Who loves a deal more than me?
I don't think anyone.
Oh, wow.
That is so fancy.
- You can wear that.
- Guilty as charged.
- Oh, hi.
- I hope
you're not scared of bees.
That one really
likes my necklace.
It's too close for comfort,
right?
[both laughing]
- It's very close.
- It's... I can't tell you...
It's not gonna let me sit there.
- He's there with you now.
- He... oh, stop it! Ahh!
[laughs]
- You're all packed
and everything?
Final year. - Uh-huh.
- This is a huge thing.
- Indeed.
I guess. I don't know, yeah.
- It's a big deal.
- I can't believe
it went along like that.
- It's been
a long way in making.
- I mean, none
of you guys graduated from...
- Barely high school, yeah.
- Having two stepsons
at university is pretty amazing.
They're both living a life
that Vincent and I never had.
And I have to make sure
and get your graduation date
so that I can ask for it off.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause, you know,
obviously we have to go.
- Oh.
- I never did go to college.
I got right into
modeling and acting.
It's not really a life choice
that I wanted for myself.
But I'm just thrilled for them,
and I'm kind of
living vicariously through them.
- You finish this year,
and then maybe,
I think you'll get in to...
- Oh,
to one of the schools, yeah.
- London, maybe.
- Eh.
Definite change of pace.
- I'm getting emotional.
I'm sorry,
you're just this little kid,
really kind
of annoying little kid
with your little surfboard
all the time,
and now here you are,
graduating from college.
- Yup.
- It's great.
We're very proud of you.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's a big deal.
- All right.
Let's pack 'em up.
- Okie dokie.
- Okay.
- Bye, Duke.
- Are you the bag boy?
- So long, Dukester.
- All righty, child.
- I'll soon grow up
to be a young man.
- It's a huge realization that
Duke graduating from college,
it only means that Jesse's next.
- Anything else in here?
A charger?
- What's that? Do you need this?
One by one, you watch them go,
and the house gets
quieter and quieter each time.
- Oh, jeez.
- All right.
- Goodbye, Dukie.
- All right, so long.
All right, see you, Eileen.
Aww.
- I'm really proud of you.
Have a great last year.
- Oh, thank you.
No, appreciate it.
I will see everyone soon.
- I know. It was a fun summer.
Because Duke is the eldest,
he was kind of, like,
extremely close to his father.
So he maybe in the beginning
saw me as someone...
Somebody trying to come
between he and his father,
which is totally natural.
And we went through
all that stuff
that blended families
go through.
I hate this. - See you later.
- It's so hard.
- Love you, see you.
- Bye, honey.
- So long.
- Bye.
Have fun.
- See you.
- I am excited and proud
to have been
a part of raising him.
And I love him.
I love him so much.
- Texas, here we come.
Yee-haw.
- Coming up...
- I love you so much, honey.
You're gonna have
so much fun here.
The whole dynamic
of our home changes.
[cries]
- Honey, what are we gonna do
about her voice?
- There's nothing
that can be done.
You know she's gonna be
there and she's gonna be fine.
- Is that tea?
- This is your tea.
- Okay, good.
Can I have any dairy in it?
Both: No.
- What are we gonna do
about her voice?
I don't think
it's really sunk in
that I'm going to
leave her here.
I am dreading the second
she walks out that door.
- Portia. It's Alexia.
Portia, wake up.
I said bye to you last night,
so I'm just gonna kiss you.
- Mm.
- I love you.
- [cries]
- Oh.
- Here's your phone and this.
Hold on to that.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Will you text me
when you're home tonight?
- Yes.
- I love you so much, honey.
You're gonna have
so much fun here.
You're gonna be so much fun.
[kisses]
Okay?
Okay. I love you.
- Let's go.
- I'm gonna walk
you down.
- Have fun today.
- Thank you.
- [cries]
The whole dynamic
of our home changes
with each child that leaves.
[crying]
I just want to run after her.
I just want one more hug,
but I don't want to upset her,
and I...
I don't even know if I can see
her say goodbye to Mauricio.
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
[kissing]
I'll see you soon.
- All good?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- [crying]
Many times I have felt
like that, whereas a father,
I don't think
they feel what a mom feels.
So right now,
I just feel like we're really
connecting in this moment
and sharing that pain together.
We need to be happy for her now,
and excited.
- Why do we have to?
- I don't know.
That's what they tell me.
- That's not true.
Well,
she better learn something.
[laughs]
- Next time on The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills...
- Here's what turns me on.
To walk in on them
with another girl.
And then not being able
to walk away
because he still has to come.
- For real?
That's creepy.
A little bit creepy.
- Janine, look at these.
Look. - You're being a sissy.
- Oh, my God, they're amazing.
- Don't...
- Okay.
- [bleep] feel sorry for me,
bitch.
- I... okay, I won't.
- You don't know
what I go through at night.
Hi-oh. - Don't judge.
But I don't understand.
- [bleep] you.
- Kim does not seem
like herself.
I've been down this road before.
- Don't [bleep] touch me.
- Don't you [bleep]...
- Leave me alone.
Don't [bleep] touch me.
Don't [bleep] do that.
Housewives of Beverly Hills...
- Hi, darling.
So you didn't bring
your girlfriend home?
Well, thank you for that.
A child's loyalty
is always to the person
they're sleeping with.
- You can model.
You don't have to model.
Bella just got accepted
to Parsons School of Design.
I can't wait to see what kind of
trouble you're gonna get into.
[phone ringing] Hello?
David told me that
Bella had gotten a DUI.
I already lost my dad
in a car accident.
Like, I can't... I can't even...
- I personally told Eddie
that he could [bleep] off,
and he's not getting
any money from me.
I don't want to be paying
lawyers' bills
when that money
could be going for
a college fund for our children.
- There are lots
of great schools here.
If you're not happy,
you can come home.
[upbeat music]
- Throw me to the wolves,
and I shall return
leading the pack.
- Character isn't what you have;
it's who you are.
- You've heard a lot about me,
but it's only true
when it comes from my lips.
- I'm not a bitch,
but I've played one on TV.
- I've been rich,
and I've been famous,
but happiness beats them both.
- I'd rather spend my life
kicking ass
than kissing it.
- Planes and yachts are nice,
but my happiness starts at home.
- I'm exhausted.
- Wow, I love your shoes, Lisa.
- You do? I don't like them.
They're going to end up
in your closet very soon.
- [laughs]
You have a nice bag, too.
- Stop keeping an eye
on all my things.
- I love all
your clothes and shoes.
[line ringing]
- Hello?
- Hi, darling.
- Hi, Mum. How are you?
- Good. Did you get the check?
- I did, yeah, thank you.
- Okay.
- How are you?
- I'm tired.
I'm overworked and underpaid.
- You do work hard, don't you?
- Yes.
I'd like to see you work harder,
that's for sure.
- I'm... I want to.
- Max, my son,
he's working at Sur.
Oh, you're working tonight?
- Yeah.
- He's got to do
every shift he can,
because he's gonna pay me back.
Go on, back to work. - [laughs]
- Max has decided he doesn't
want to go to college,
music college, any longer.
He got an A+ for this.
- Look at this. He made this.
- Oh, my God.
- You made that?
- He made it.
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's incredible.
And have confidence in yourself.
- It's amazing.
- You know,
his first words were, "I can't."
If you're not gonna
stay in school,
then you've got
to make it on your own.
Now, if making it on your own
is working at
one of our restaurants,
well, it's not quite,
but at least he's working.
- I want to be successful
like you and Dad, you know?
And I want to be able to
afford things
and go on holiday just
like Panny and Jason, you know?
- Well, they work
their butts off, darling.
Why do you feel that
you're not as motivated as us?
- Well, I'm content
with everything
you and Dad have given me,
and I'm lazy, you know.
- You're not really lazy
if you're getting up and
you're working five days a week
and you're, you know,
that's not lazy.
It's just you're not ambitious,
you know?
I left home at 18,
and I certainly didn't
ask for a penny
from my parents since then.
Pandora was valedictorian
at school,
and she worked her way
through college, as well.
Do you want to meet me tomorrow,
and we can talk?
So now, yes, Max
has to make it on his own.
- What time
would you want to meet?
- Maybe at lunchtime sometime.
- Of course, yeah.
- All right.
I love you.
- I love you too, Mum.
- Bye.
- Is this us?
- Our luggage is right here.
Why'd you bring so much luggage?
- What do you mean?
I'm moving here.
- Alexia,
this is the thing I bought
to make the mattress
more cushiony.
- Yeah, I'm gonna need
a new mattress for sure.
- Taking Alexia
to college like this is painful.
I don't think it feels natural
to all of a sudden
just be with your child every
single second since they're born
and then just
leave them someplace.
You guys exhausted?
- I'm freezing.
- Why don't you borrow
Portia's sweatshirt?
- You think that's gonna fit me?
- It's terrible.
I want to be like,
"Yes, go and spread your wings
and fly."
[bleep] that.
- Welcome to Tucson.
Everybody follow me.
- We're following you, honey.
We're like your ducklings.
Quack, quack.
- It's hot.
Alexia, look at your school.
- Beautiful.
- Oh, here comes a police coming
out
right after you.
- Well, at least we know
we're safe around here.
I follow the Tucson police
on Twitter.
- You do?
- When I'm in L.A.
and I can see on my Twitter
that the Tucson police have got
everything under control,
I'm gonna feel good.
If they tweet something
really scary,
I'm gonna be on the next plane.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Mauricio, how do you do?
- How do you do?
- Thank you very much.
- Hi, I'm Kyle.
- I'm Nikki.
- Nikki, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Kyle, I'm Chris.
- Very nice to meet you, Chris.
- So, Nikki, are you a senior
now?
- Yeah,
I'm a senior physiology student,
and obviously
I'm an ambassador tour guide.
- Awesome.
- She is, so, Alexia,
if you've got questions,
she knows it.
- I just need to find a place
that I can grab something
to eat really quickly.
- All right, well, I can
take them right over there.
- Okay, sounds good.
- Oh, awesome.
- Okay, we'll see you guys in a
bit... give me a kiss.
- You guys want to go with me?
- God, I have to say,
the sky here is so beautiful.
- I think it's supposed to rain
right after you guys leave...
- Yeah, I saw that.
- But definitely
you should be here
for a monsoon sometime.
- I always had very good grades,
and I actually wanted
to be a lawyer.
But I was acting,
and I already had a career,
so my mom didn't encourage it.
- This huge wall of dust
that just
overtakes the whole city.
They call it a brown-out. - Oh.
- Like, if you're trying to
drive to California,
or if you're trying
to drive to Phoenix...
- You have to stop.
- Yeah,
you have to pull over.
- Yeah, you won't be
driving to L.A.
- This is Old Main.
The great part
about the campus is
it's a one-square-mile campus.
- Yeah.
- So I don't know
if you're bringing a bike.
We have a free bike valet.
So you can bike there,
drop off your bike,
and just pick it up after class.
- Hopeful... hopefully
pick it up after class.
- Well, they have people
watching the bike valet
the whole... - Oh, okay.
I hate that
I didn't go to college.
So that's why it's so important
for me that my kids go.
Kind of know now
why my mom didn't push me.
- I'm glad you guys have
a woman president of the school.
- Me too.
- Especially having
four daughters.
I'm all about empowering women.
- We're walking
to the shade, honey.
Honey, don't get your daughter
in trouble already.
- Dad.
- Hey, I'm at college.
I'm allowed to be
a little annoying.
- You're not in college. I am.
- I love this park.
Bella, you can always
bring lunch here and sit there.
- I can't wait to
see it all put together.
- Your first house, baby.
All of a sudden,
it looks like so much stuff.
Is there a nightstand
you can put on the...
- Dude, it's... I'll see
it all in, like, an hour.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- If I'm late for school,
I think that...
- Yeah, we can't...
Can't be late for school.
- Yeah.
- I don't think it ever
gets easy sending your girls
off to college.
I feel like I should have
written a manual
with a checklist
of all the things
you need to talk about
with your daughter
when she goes off to college.
Last year, it was so new for me.
Like, I panicked about a lot
of different things then
that I did this year.
But this year
was equally as hard.
So whatever we're gonna
give to your cousins,
let's go through that first.
- That jacket,
I honestly don't think
I want to get rid of.
- But Bella, you've got
to think New York now.
- I will wear this in New York.
- This year was maybe even
harder.
Bella's DUI earlier this summer
kind of changed,
made me insecure
about letting her go.
Just remember that every...
Every child going to school
today is as nervous as you are.
So, you know,
put out the same energy
that you want for yourself.
Bella's mistake was
my biggest nightmare as a mom.
I took it personal.
Like, I thought, Oh, my God,
did I do something wrong?
Did I not teach her well enough?
Did I not tell her
what happens if you have a drink
and you get in the car?
I love you. [kisses]
- I love you too.
- Have a great day.
- Thank you.
I'm so excited about everything.
- Any child's biggest fear is
to disappoint their parent.
They need to know
that we don't push them away
if they embarrass us,
and with Bella,
I have her back always,
7 days a week, 24 hours a day.
I'll wait for you there, okay?
I'll be working hard,
and I'll see you there.
Bye, my love.
- Hi.
- Hey, Brandi.
- How are you?
- Good. How are you doing?
- Good. It's so hot outside.
- I'll help
the next guest in line.
- I'll just have
an iced coffee, please.
- Small cafe vanilla.
- Shall we?
- Yeah, let's go outside.
- Thank you.
Ooh, it is a little breezy.
I like it.
Oy.
I don't want to put my purse
on the floor,
'cause that always means
losing money.
Okay, so,
I need just some clearance
on Eddie's letter.
He said in the press that I...
He's not saying
that he's asking me for money.
Like, wh... I don't understand
what's happening.
- Eddie is actually asking
for child support
and spousal support
that he says he overpaid.
- My ex-husband is the one
that makes up the number
every six months
about what he's giving me.
So I don't know
how now he's coming up
with a total of $114,000
and would like to take it
out of my retirement account.
It makes me want to throw up.
He's saying he makes $0,
but they just did a TV show.
I know he got money from that.
And I'd rather honestly
just go to court.
- Court's gonna be
way more expensive.
Part of my job is to try
to make sure that,
you know, the fees are low,
and I'm not gonna run up a bill.
So let's see if
I can put a lid on it.
If not, you're the boss.
- Everyone that thinks
I don't want my ex-husband
to succeed is wrong.
Do I want him getting a job?
Hell mother[bleep] yes, I do.
Because it's great
for all of us.
He can feel like a man.
He can be the provider,
and my kids are happy.
- I think that
your position is strong.
Let me just have a little leeway
to try to work a deal with
his lawyer 'cause I think I can.
If you end up in litigation,
then you're gonna be really mad.
- I hope that peace
is in my future with Eddie.
I do hope that one day,
we can all sit around a table
at Thanksgiving, his wife,
his in-laws, my parents,
and just get along.
Like, that would be amazing.
- But this is something
that should settle,
and I'm thinking
favorably to you.
- I just feel like
this is divorce all over again.
And I don't...
I just want it to be done.
- Yeah.
- Coming up...
- The plot of the movie is
that they are
making a cop movie.
Harry's been on the set where
an actress has not shown up.
- I'm playing Lisa Rinna,
married to Harry Hamlin.
That's [bleep] up.
- How's Martha Stewart?
- Hey. Did you see the broccoli?
- Look at you, you're...
- This is broccolini.
Do you think that's enough
for seven people?
To give, like... - No.
Guys, she's got dinner ready.
- Hey, guys!
It's gonna get cold,
and then I'm gonna kill you.
[laughing]
I was a lot nicer before I got
inducted into this house of men.
Oh, my God.
When my stepsons
moved in with me in Malibu,
Duke was eight
and Vinny was six.
- Wow. This looks great.
- So right, I'm gonna sit here.
Everybody else can grab a plate.
I'm the youngest of seven kids,
so I'm used to
chaos in the household.
A lot of sibling rivalry
and stuff going on,
so it's been kind
of like second nature to me
to have a lot of kids around.
- Are you guys excited
about going back, fourth year?
- I can't wait.
- You guys both
in the same fraternity.
How fun is that?
- Very excited.
Thatcher's been...
remove the deck.
- Coolest place ever.
- That's so great.
- Put a Jacuzzi in there
and everything. It's gonna be...
- You guys are living the life.
- I'm getting a little lemon
zest on the chicken.
I like it.
[laughing]
- I actually love being a
stepmom.
It's challenging.
It's a whole different
realm of parenting.
So Sev, what's going on?
Have you talked to Gigi
at all lately?
Sorry, with your mouth full.
- Yeah.
- You have to earn
their respect.
You have to earn their love.
It's not like when
you have a biological child
and it's just unconditional.
So you kind of have to
find your own place.
You have to make your own way,
and it can be difficult
because I'm not their mom,
and I never wanted to take
that place in their lives.
- No, not too much, actually.
- No?
- Uh-uh.
- She's in New York now, right?
- I think she's doing great.
It's awesome.
- But you took her out
on a date before.
- I asked her to the senior
prom.
- Senior prom, I know.
- The sun is killing me.
- Smile.
[camera shutter clicks]
- The sun is killing me.
- Smile.
- I told you that
I did the hot yoga today.
- I do it three times a week.
- Jeez, he's getting...
- Where is it?
Where is it? - At Carbon Beach.
Right below Gigi's house.
[laughing] [indistinct chatter]
- They used to say about me,
they go, "Eileen, well,
she's tough but she's fair."
And I, you know,
I take that as a compliment.
Even though you have your dips
in relationship with kids,
I think
they respect me more for it.
I've also spoiled them rotten.
[laughs]
Guys, you know the drill, right?
- All right.
- Like, do your own dishes.
- We'll clean it all up.
Don't worry.
- Okay.
- Thank you for dinner.
- You're welcome, guys.
- Bravo!
Let's hear it for her.
- Yay, oh, thank you. Thank you.
[cheering]
Oh, it's nothing, it's nothing.
- So, Eric?
- Yeah.
- I'm not quite
feeling the dining room here.
Somehow we should put
the dining room
right in front of the thing,
and then move side table here.
It's so hard trying to
find an apartment in New York.
Last year, we just by luck run
into this great building
that was just done, and
it was just perfect for Gigi.
You know, without a...
I forgot to...
We forgot to get you
a sewing kit.
- I was going to grab one today,
but I thought you had
already gotten it, so...
That's okay.
I know... I know where they are.
- Hello?
- This year,
I found two apartments
that I lost by the time
I got all the paperwork together
and emailed everything,
like, somebody already came,
put the check, and took it.
- Any changes to
this floor plan or, are we...
- Yes, we're gonna move
that in front of the window.
- Okay, got that.
- And then one chair here
and one chair in this bedroom.
- Do you have the rugs?
The first thing we'd like
is to put the rugs down.
- Yes, yes, yes.
We're gonna place the rugs down.
Both: Yeah.
- Bella, this first year,
I want her to focus on,
you know, doing the best
she can in school.
So we are providing
all her living expenses.
Oh, my God, it's so cute.
It feels like real.
I've been lucky with Gigi.
I helped her the first year,
and I hope by the time
they reach 21, I can say,
"Goodbye, come and take
Mommy for a vacation now."
[laughs]
This is from her room at home.
Yay, the wall of love.
- Voila.
- No, no,
I wanted to place it like that.
- Underneath?
- What's gonna go under?
- Yeah. I'll put it.
Why don't you guys
hold the bed up?
I wasn't raised
with people helping me.
So I am a do-it-yourselfer.
Yeah, I think that's cute,
and then I can place the chair
right here.
Perfect.
You know, if you want something
done right, you do it yourself.
Hey, Eric?
- Yup?
- I don't think this is the
couch.
- We do have the other one.
Like we did for Gigi,
we have the...
- Yeah, because we
talked about that, right?
- Yeah, no.
I... I said it was a good idea.
- Yeah.
- But I don't remember
you saying...
- Yeah, and I said yes.
- I suggested it,
but I guess it was just
a miscommunication. - 'Cause...
When I design something,
only my brain
can put it all together.
Like, you know,
I'm not gonna rely on, you know,
a mover guy to decide where
my coffee table is gonna go.
I think these two pieces
are way too bulky.
- They have... there's another one
that's lower in black. - Petite?
- So I think that that would
look better in here, as well.
- I mean, that's my forte.
That's what I do.
- I can have them just
bring the other ones.
We'll just switch it out.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You're sure
you can change it,
switch it around?
- Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
- Oh, my God, that's so good.
- We're here, girls.
I hope Farrah's here.
Come on, guys.
- Welcome to Loews, guys.
- Thank you.
- Hello. There's my girl.
- Farrah.
Hi, honey. How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Mwah.
- Oh, hey,
it's so good to see you.
- It's so good to see all
of you.
- What's going on?
- Where's Alexia?
- She stayed at school.
She's doing a...
She has a rush meeting,
and then they start,
like, rush week tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, that's crazy.
- Crazy.
- I mean,
You guys never went to camp.
You never, like, left.
This is not normal.
It doesn't feel right
and natural.
When Farrah left to go to NYU,
I cried that entire month
following.
After two years,
she transferred to USC,
and I was so happy.
Well, let's get checked in.
Come on, Portia.
Of course, a part of me
wants Alexia
to finish out
the four years at U of A,
but the other little
twisted side of me
would love for her
to transfer closer to home.
Is that wrong?
That's a gorgeous view.
Honey, that golf course
is calling your name.
- Can I eat one of these things?
- Yes, that's
what it's there for, honey.
Can you believe
this is really happening?
- No, I really don't.
I mean, I can't believe it.
- Like, two down, two to go.
I want to take Alexia's linens
and things like that
over to her house
and put her bedding on.
- Oh, yeah.
- We need to get, like,
pretty, like, pillows
and things like that.
- What vibe is she going with?
- And it's very m...
It has to be modern,
because it's that kind
of feeling that... the building.
Alexia's going to live
in an apartment
because she was waitlisted
on getting a dorm.
I wanted her to be in a dorm
to be with other people
and have a community.
She's so sweet,
and she looks so little.
She's gone from being
a little girl living at home
to an apartment.
Even though she's very wise
beyond her years,
she's really an old soul,
but she just looks...
- Yeah.
- She looks tiny.
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- She's gonna have so much fun.
- It'll be fine.
- And she made friends
really easily.
Like, she made friends with...
- She's so social.
- She makes friends
with everybody.
- That's not the problem.
That's not
what we're worried about.
We want her presence at home.
- Yeah, it has...
I know that she...
- This is not a question
of whether
she's gonna survive or not.
- Yeah.
- She'll come home
all the time. - I know.
- Probably way more than I did.
- You don't have to take a
flight.
- Who doesn't?
- She used to.
You weren't born yet.
When Farrah was in college
was when you were in my tummy.
By the time Portia leaves, ugh.
I'm... that's just... better just
put me in a straitjacket.
Guess why we had you? - Why?
- Because she left for college.
And we said,
"We want another baby."
[kisses]
- So every time one goes,
you'll have another one? - Yeah.
- I'm pregnant.
[all laughing]
- I think we have enough kids.
- Coming up...
- I think they've mentioned
your name about 503 times now.
- Oh, look at her,
she's trying to
get him to get a tattoo.
Eddie will never get a tattoo.
- Oh, they said your name again.
- Leann is
a [bleep]-try music star.
Wait, what did she just say?
[phone ringing]
- Hello, sweetheart.
Where are you?
- I'm on my way.
I just left the house.
- I'm just getting
out of the makeup trailer now.
- Are you in a scene
in... before me?
I love to do anything.
I love a job.
But acting is so fun.
- I don't know
when we're gonna rehearse,
but probably not long
after you get here.
- I love nothing more than to be
on a set
with a director, creating.
It's so much fun.
It's what I live for.
All right.
- See you in a minute.
- Love you.
- Bye.
Ahh.
Red leather, yellow leather,
red leather, yellow leather,
red leather, yellow leather.
Wing away, wing away,
wing away, wing away.
Gutta-butta-gutta-butta-gutta-
butta-gutta-butta...
As an actor, you have to
have your voice ready to go.
Certainly you've got
to get these lips in action,
or you're fumbling your words.
[vibrating lips]
Mmm-ah.
Hmm-ah.
Ooh.
Mmm.
Head voice.
Ha. Ha, ha, hmm-ah.
Mmm.
All good.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- We'll get you over here and
get you with Adam, the director,
and... - Great.
- Adam?
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Nice to see you.
- It's so great to see you.
- How... I'm good.
- Thank you so much
for being here.
- It's my pleasure.
Wait, is this the big man?
Look at you.
- How are you doing?
Good to see you.
Don't I look wonderful?
- Oh, my gosh.
My friend Penn Jillette
wrote a movie called
The Director's Cut,
and Harry plays a lead.
- The plot of the movie is that
they are making a "cop movie."
- And Harry's the actor
that's being...
- And Harry's been on the set
where an actress has
not shown up.
- Penn calls me, and he says,
"I've written you in
to play yourself."
And I will do anything
for Penn Jillette.
Probably not porn,
but anything else.
So, I'm playing me
as Harry's wife.
- You're playing Lisa Rinna.
Yep. - Excellent.
- All right.
- Thanks, hon.
- Thank you.
- Love you.
All right, hi, girls. - Hello.
- I came camera-ready,
but do your thing.
Whatever, you know, help me.
- Okay, we'll fix you up.
- I have no script.
I just get an outline.
So really,
I have no idea what I'm doing
other than
I'm gonna be Lisa Rinna,
which sometimes is harder than
playing a character, my friend.
- Hey, hey.
- There you are.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, baby.
- Mwah.
Welcome to our set.
Did you get a chance
to talk to Penn
about what you're gonna do?
- Be myself.
Not only am I playing
Lisa Rinna,
I'm playing Lisa Rinna
married to Harry Hamlin.
That's [bleep] up.
So let's do it
and just see what he says.
- Okay.
- They'll either love it
or they'll hate it.
- Wherever we are.
- You sit here.
Lisa, why don't you sit here?
- Okay.
- Be quiet for rehearsal.
- Okay, everybody's very tense.
- Let me ask you
about the tension.
Is the tension established
by the fact that
we're all suspects, aren't we?
- Correct. I think less is more.
I just want to make sure
it feels natural,
so let's... let's do that.
- And action.
- When I'm acting
with my husband, it's so weird,
because it's Harry,
but he's acting,
and I'm acting.
- And I'll do a big look.
I'll do this. - Yeah.
- I'll do...
- Yeah.
But yet it's my husband.
And when it's... let me help you.
Let me cover you.
You just stay positive.
You just do your thing here,
and...
[both laughing]
You kind of have
an outer-body experience,
because there's a comfort level,
but yet there's not.
It makes no sense at all,
I know.
- I think we got
lots of fantastic stuff,
and I can chop into it
and do jump cuts.
It'll be great.
Thanks, gang.
- I like to watch him work.
I don't know
if he likes to watch me work.
I don't... I'm not sure
what he thinks of me, really,
to be honest.
Thank you all.
Thank you for indulging us.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Hey.
- Perfect timing.
- It looks so good.
- Come and see your bed.
Doesn't that look comfy?
- Literally.
- Let's see how it feels.
And I'm so exhausted.
What do you think about it?
- Amazing.
I have something for you.
- What is it?
- Just a card.
I just don't want you to
worry about me
being in New York alone.
- "Mommy, please
believe me when I say that I'm,
"from the deepest part
of my heart,
"sorry for what I did.
"I know there is no excuse,
"but the only thing I want
is to gain back your trust
"and show you
I'm still the good girl
"you have had for 17 years
"and the girl
that you raised me to be.
"I love you.
"The one incident is
a big mistake
"that I take very seriously,
"but please trust that
this doesn't define
who I am as a person."
I think the moments
where I'm insecure about her
not being ready,
that... those are my insecurities.
I don't think they have
anything to do with Bella.
Her one mistake doesn't define
who she is as a human being.
"I love you.
Your forever baby girl."
I know you do.
I will always keep that card
with me.
[kisses]
Every day, okay? - Yeah.
You can read it
whenever you miss me.
What happened doesn't mean
that you're not a good mother,
but just that kids
make mistakes, you know?
- I know.
I still make mistakes,
and I'm 50 years old,
so I know that.
- I learned my
consequences, and...
but you can still trust me.
- I feel confident
about Bella's independence.
This experience made her stop,
reevaluate where she's going,
where she wants to get,
and she knows that there is
no second chance in this.
So this is it.
Give me a hug. I love you too.
I love you, baby.
- I love you too.
- So please be safe.
- I will.
I promise.
- This is a lemon.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is a lemon...
- On crack.
- On crack.
- On something.
- Yeah, this is your...
Remember that thing?
"This is your brain,
this is your brain on drugs"?
- Hello?
- Hello, hello.
- Hi, Brandi.
- Honey, I'm home.
- You look so bright
and festive all the time.
[dogs barking]
[kissing] - How are you?
- Shut up, dogs.
[dogs whining]
I'm so glad you guys
all wanted to come over.
Today's the premiere
of Eddie and Leann,
my ex-husband
and his wife's new reality show.
[laughs]
I wasn't gonna watch it,
but I realized
I kind of have to watch it
because I need to see
if my kids are on it.
I'm not really sure what Eddie
and Leann's side of the story
is that isn't already out there.
They cheated. They got together.
They're ass[bleep] after that.
That's their story.
Make yourselves comfortable.
All right. Let's see.
Look, there's a romantic comedy.
- I think we need, like,
a drum roll or something.
[both mimicking drum rolls]
- Oh, so it's called Leann
and Eddie, not Eddie and Leann?
- I don't want to watch
anyone brushing their teeth.
- That is not
a cute shot of her nose.
- I actually thinks
she's prettier
than people give her credit for.
- She is. Not.
- You're being generous.
- It can't be easy
to watch your ex-husband
and his new wife playing house.
I don't think
it would be very fun for me.
It would depend on which ex.
- I think they've mentioned
your name about 503 times now.
- Oh, look, she's trying
to get him to get a tattoo.
Eddie will never get a tattoo.
- Oh, there you are again.
- Oh, they said your name again.
- I'm actually their show.
I'm a character on their show
that's not on their show
because they say my name
so many times.
Ex-wife, oh, there I am. - Oh!
- Ex-wife, the bitch.
The other character
that doesn't get a check.
Wait, what did she just say?
- What?
- She's talking about your kids.
- I can't hear... can I hear it?
Can I hear it? Can I hear it?
- There you are.
- If it's a show about them
bashing me,
and they're using my children
to promote it, that upsets me.
- Why does he have to
comment on it?
- He makes my skin crawl.
Leann is
a [bleep]-try music star,
and she needs to leave my kids
out of her mouth.
Why do they think I'm putting
things out about a divorce?
Like, I don't...
- You always say you
don't want the divorce.
- I don't.
- Like, you...
What an ass[bleep].
- Ugh.
I really, truly want
their show to do well.
If they're doing well,
like, that means my child
support check gets bigger,
because right now,
Eddie's giving me,
oh, yeah, $1,000.
Awesome.
That's gonna get us a... far.
We... yeah.
Groceries for a week.
[paper hits floor]
- Well....
I don't think
it was super entertaining.
[all laughing]
- It was horrific.
It revolved all around you.
- Well, you know,
they did need the star.
[all laughing]
- Hey, baby.
Happy anniversary, yet again.
- I know, we made it.
32 years.
Ken's just so sweet.
A house full of
roses and puppies
would never get old for me.
But I know what this entails.
It means, you know,
romance is on the cards.
Just stick that here.
Okay, thanks.
Oh, perfect, more roses.
How many did you get?
- What do you want, dear?
- I think Max is coming over.
- Okay.
- I had a conversation
with him on the phone.
It seems like he wants to kind
of move on up, you know?
Max started in the restaurant
business washing dishes.
Now, by working his way up,
he will understand every aspect
of the business,
and that is a gift
that I can give him.
Hello. - How's it going?
[dogs barking]
Are you talking about me?
- It's my anniversary,
our anniversary.
- Happy anniversary, yeah?
- Hey, so your car's okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay, good, brakes...
- He's got a new one now.
He's got a BMW convertible
out there.
- It's not mine.
- Whose is it?
- It's Allison's.
- Your girlfriend's letting
you drive around her car?
- No, I'm keeping it
at my house,
and I was just using it today.
- Are you insured to drive it?
- No, I'm not.
- That is so irresponsible.
- I don't have proof of
insurance on my other car,
either.
And I don't have a registration,
either.
- I thought you said
he'd grown up and was a bit...
Acting a bit more sensible.
- Well, I didn't expect
to hear that, that's for sure.
- [laughs]
- It's not funny.
- It's pretty funny.
- It's not funny.
- How can you expect us to
support you and stick up for you
when you can't even get
your car smog tested?
- A smog test,
how long does that take?
- 'Cause I just... I...
I don't think about it.
- Max, he has put me through
there and back,
and we've struggled with him.
Not as much as many parents do,
but he certainly gave us
the run around.
We had to kick his ass.
- I'm gonna go.
I'm not gonna have
a conversation with him
about running, barbacking,
or bartending school
until he's got his car
smog tested.
- You know what? I have to admit
I'm useless at things
like registration too,
because you do stuff
like that for me.
- Well, I do the registration,
but he's got to get...
Just... gone... take it to
and get it smog tested.
- Max, you have to do that.
- Sorry.
- Why are you laughing?
It's not funny.
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- I know I'm nagging you,
but that's my job.
It shouldn't be my job now.
- I'm still a young one.
I'm still learning.
- No.
Yeah, you are still learning.
I know you've got a roof
over your head,
and you've got food
at all the restaurants.
- Uh-huh.
- You earn more shifts.
- I didn't have electricity
for three months.
- Yeah, but I don't care.
- [laughs]
- Because then you were
motivated to work more to get
your electricity turned back on.
If I'd turned it back on,
where's the motivation?
- Right.
- Max is a different animal
to Ken and I and Pandora.
Is that because
we don't share the same genes?
I don't know, because I think
each child is different,
but as long as he's happy,
what do they say?
A mother is as happy
as her saddest child.
Do you suddenly feel
that in your life you want to
take more responsibility
because you're with this girl
and she's expecting
you to grow up a bit?
- Maybe. I don't know.
- I'm happy for you to
learn the restaurant business
inside out, but I want you
to want it for yourself.
You know what I'm saying?
- I want to... I want to learn.
I really do.
- I think Max is suddenly seeing
that Pandora and Jason
are moving on up in the world
and creating their own business,
and Jason could be
stepping into the shoes
that might belong to Max.
Maybe now he needs to
step up his game.
Anything else?
- I don't think so.
- All right then.
Make sure that you
have an insurance policy.
- I do.
- Coming up...
- I hope you're
not scared of bees.
It's not gonna let me sit there.
- He's there with you now.
- Oh, stop it. Ahh!
- We got to get Alexia
her bank account situated.
- What's her budget?
I mean, how's it work?
- What is it, $500 a week?
Her school's paid for,
and her rent's paid for.
The only thing she has to
worry about is really food.
Let's just say each meal's $10.
- Where?
- $15 a meal maximum.
- [laughs]
- You really think she's going
to be going to La Scala?
- I don't know how to figure out
what number to give her.
- That's right, and it's...
So it's $30 a day.
That's 400 a week.
- What do people need?
They need food, clothing.
She'll need...
Want to get her nails painted.
- Whatever.
- Buy something.
I don't know, books?
- And then if you want
to leave extra, it's 450 a week,
so it's 900... it's 1,800 a month.
- It's... she... it's... I don't...
I don't know.
- What I'm suggesting,
I think, is a lot.
- Oh, there's Alexia.
- I love your hats.
- [laughs]
- Super, super cool.
- Hi.
Both: Mwah!
- You're losing your voice?
- Yes, so much.
- Have you been screaming?
- Yes, everyone's voice
is gone because,
like, they're all screaming.
The audience, they do this,
like, chant a million times.
And you're talking,
and the second one comes,
and it's just...
- What do you talk about?
- So they're like,
what do you want to take from,
like, Greek life?
Like, why do you want to join?
Why did you come to Arizona?
Stuff like that.
What are you studying?
And, like,
it just goes on from there.
- I think I've done so much
for my children
that I should have
give them a little more room
to do things on their own.
I'm worried about Alexia
even going through an airport
by herself.
She's never gone
through an airport by herself.
How's she gonna come home?
- All right,
here we have some burrito bowls.
- Thank you.
Portia, yours is coming down
right now, okay?
- Wait, do you have
your schedule of classes yet?
- Yeah, I only have...
- What time do your classes
start?
- I only have one 8:00 A.M.,
but it's a class I want to take,
so I don't mind,
like, waking up that early,
and it's only one day.
Only on Mondays. - Which is it?
Which class is it?
- The one that's
the relationship
between humans and animals.
- My freshman year,
all my classes started at 2:00.
- I can't even imagine
if I had gone to college
and been a lawyer.
I think I would have been
a very good lawyer.
But I'll never know.
- It's pouring rain.
- It's raining?
- So I guess we can't
really walk around today.
[food items rattle] - Ahh!
- It's a monsoon.
Look at Portia's hair.
[laughing]
- [whining]
- So I want to
ask you a question.
Obviously it's gonna be hard
when we leave,
and saying goodbye to you.
- Yeah.
- What do you think
is gonna be easiest,
driving you to school and saying
goodbye outside of the school...
- Okay.
- Which sounds like
a disaster to me.
So I was thinking maybe that
we say goodbye at the hotel,
and then have the hotel car
take you, to get to class.
What do you think about that?
- Okay.
That sounds good to me.
- I'm not as worried
about Alexia surviving
as much as Kyle is.
She's gonna learn.
It's not like
she has experience,
but she's gonna figure it out.
I know she's gonna
figure it out.
You guys, you're ready?
- I'm ready.
- Let's go.
- It is so windy. Oh, my God.
- Aah.
- It's freezing.
It's freezing, it's freezing,
it's freezing.
- Guys, we've got to go.
- I'm putting on my shirt,
for crying out loud.
- Alexia, bear down.
- And I just saw lightning.
- Oh, my God, there's lightning.
[thunder cracks] - Aah!
- Why am I doing this to myself?
- This is freezing.
- Daddy!
- Oh, my God.
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
- Hey, it's Ali.
- Hi, Ali. Come all the way up.
- Hello.
- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
- Good. Come on in.
- I will.
You look great.
- Well, thanks.
- I love your dress.
Yeah, it's so comfy. - Hi.
[grunting]
Okay, so this is
what I'm thinking,
because we have
all this room outside.
It's so pretty.
Do you want to sit
and set up your stuff here?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I want to
grab a book to take notes.
And how about something...
How about some iced tea?
- Sure, that'd be great.
- Let's do that.
I'm hosting a jewelry party
at my home
to benefit the Noreen Fraser
Cancer Foundation.
Both my mom and my sister
had breast cancer
within six months of each other
and survived.
And so that is certainly
near and dear to my heart.
- You are literally one
of the very first in L.A.
to see this. - [gasps] Really?
- This is our brand-new
collection.
- Oh, yippee.
- It came out,
like, two days ago. - Oh, cool.
Oh, really?
- These oranges and reds...
- Love.
- And hot pinks.
We're seeing a lot of that
for fall. - Are you?
What I loved about your event
with Holly Robinson Peete
was that everybody had
a great time,
and nobody
felt pressured to shop,
and everyone
was shopping like fools.
- It's literally just...
- No, it's laid out.
- Come, have fun.
- And the girls are like,
"Oh, my God," you know?
"I can be."
It was so fun. It was like...
I live...
I use these bracelets...
- Oh. We're twinsies.
- Look at. Like, constantly.
You know, my girlfriends
have all these real ones.
I mean, their whole arm
is worth $50,000.
- Right.
- Seriously.
And I'm just not that girl.
Like, it makes me too nervous.
- Right.
- I am concerned about
the ladies liking
this specific type of jewelry.
These ladies wear big,
fat [bleep] diamonds.
How many people?
- I think she had between 50-70.
- Okay.
- We were originally
expecting 50, but of course.
- I would say more like 30-40.
It just depends
on how many people.
We may need valet parking.
40 at the most, really. - Okay.
- Because then,
otherwise there's just too many.
Who loves shopping more than me?
I don't think anyone.
- This does
five different things.
Like, if the strap you buy...
- Wait, I think
Tori Spelling has this one.
Who loves a deal more than me?
I don't think anyone.
Oh, wow.
That is so fancy.
- You can wear that.
- Guilty as charged.
- Oh, hi.
- I hope
you're not scared of bees.
That one really
likes my necklace.
It's too close for comfort,
right?
[both laughing]
- It's very close.
- It's... I can't tell you...
It's not gonna let me sit there.
- He's there with you now.
- He... oh, stop it! Ahh!
[laughs]
- You're all packed
and everything?
Final year. - Uh-huh.
- This is a huge thing.
- Indeed.
I guess. I don't know, yeah.
- It's a big deal.
- I can't believe
it went along like that.
- It's been
a long way in making.
- I mean, none
of you guys graduated from...
- Barely high school, yeah.
- Having two stepsons
at university is pretty amazing.
They're both living a life
that Vincent and I never had.
And I have to make sure
and get your graduation date
so that I can ask for it off.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause, you know,
obviously we have to go.
- Oh.
- I never did go to college.
I got right into
modeling and acting.
It's not really a life choice
that I wanted for myself.
But I'm just thrilled for them,
and I'm kind of
living vicariously through them.
- You finish this year,
and then maybe,
I think you'll get in to...
- Oh,
to one of the schools, yeah.
- London, maybe.
- Eh.
Definite change of pace.
- I'm getting emotional.
I'm sorry,
you're just this little kid,
really kind
of annoying little kid
with your little surfboard
all the time,
and now here you are,
graduating from college.
- Yup.
- It's great.
We're very proud of you.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's a big deal.
- All right.
Let's pack 'em up.
- Okie dokie.
- Okay.
- Bye, Duke.
- Are you the bag boy?
- So long, Dukester.
- All righty, child.
- I'll soon grow up
to be a young man.
- It's a huge realization that
Duke graduating from college,
it only means that Jesse's next.
- Anything else in here?
A charger?
- What's that? Do you need this?
One by one, you watch them go,
and the house gets
quieter and quieter each time.
- Oh, jeez.
- All right.
- Goodbye, Dukie.
- All right, so long.
All right, see you, Eileen.
Aww.
- I'm really proud of you.
Have a great last year.
- Oh, thank you.
No, appreciate it.
I will see everyone soon.
- I know. It was a fun summer.
Because Duke is the eldest,
he was kind of, like,
extremely close to his father.
So he maybe in the beginning
saw me as someone...
Somebody trying to come
between he and his father,
which is totally natural.
And we went through
all that stuff
that blended families
go through.
I hate this. - See you later.
- It's so hard.
- Love you, see you.
- Bye, honey.
- So long.
- Bye.
Have fun.
- See you.
- I am excited and proud
to have been
a part of raising him.
And I love him.
I love him so much.
- Texas, here we come.
Yee-haw.
- Coming up...
- I love you so much, honey.
You're gonna have
so much fun here.
The whole dynamic
of our home changes.
[cries]
- Honey, what are we gonna do
about her voice?
- There's nothing
that can be done.
You know she's gonna be
there and she's gonna be fine.
- Is that tea?
- This is your tea.
- Okay, good.
Can I have any dairy in it?
Both: No.
- What are we gonna do
about her voice?
I don't think
it's really sunk in
that I'm going to
leave her here.
I am dreading the second
she walks out that door.
- Portia. It's Alexia.
Portia, wake up.
I said bye to you last night,
so I'm just gonna kiss you.
- Mm.
- I love you.
- [cries]
- Oh.
- Here's your phone and this.
Hold on to that.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Will you text me
when you're home tonight?
- Yes.
- I love you so much, honey.
You're gonna have
so much fun here.
You're gonna be so much fun.
[kisses]
Okay?
Okay. I love you.
- Let's go.
- I'm gonna walk
you down.
- Have fun today.
- Thank you.
- [cries]
The whole dynamic
of our home changes
with each child that leaves.
[crying]
I just want to run after her.
I just want one more hug,
but I don't want to upset her,
and I...
I don't even know if I can see
her say goodbye to Mauricio.
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
[kissing]
I'll see you soon.
- All good?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- [crying]
Many times I have felt
like that, whereas a father,
I don't think
they feel what a mom feels.
So right now,
I just feel like we're really
connecting in this moment
and sharing that pain together.
We need to be happy for her now,
and excited.
- Why do we have to?
- I don't know.
That's what they tell me.
- That's not true.
Well,
she better learn something.
[laughs]
- Next time on The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills...
- Here's what turns me on.
To walk in on them
with another girl.
And then not being able
to walk away
because he still has to come.
- For real?
That's creepy.
A little bit creepy.
- Janine, look at these.
Look. - You're being a sissy.
- Oh, my God, they're amazing.
- Don't...
- Okay.
- [bleep] feel sorry for me,
bitch.
- I... okay, I won't.
- You don't know
what I go through at night.
Hi-oh. - Don't judge.
But I don't understand.
- [bleep] you.
- Kim does not seem
like herself.
I've been down this road before.
- Don't [bleep] touch me.
- Don't you [bleep]...
- Leave me alone.
Don't [bleep] touch me.
Don't [bleep] do that.