The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - Breaking Branches - full transcript
The time has come for Brandi's housewarming party, and everyone is shocked when an unexpected party guest shows up. Lisa Rinna guest-hosts Access Hollywood Live, while fellow actress Eileen tries out a new form of exercising. Elsewhere, Kyle learns that her daughter still has a lot to learn before she leaves for college. Lisa Vanderpump hosts a charity event at PUMP, where Brandi makes her an unusual offer.
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I'D LIKE TO TRY TO DO THINGS
THAT PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA THAT...
- YOU CAN DO IT.
- I CAN DO.
- RIGHT.
- TO STAY RELEVANT,
I REALLY HAVE HAD TO REINVENT
MYSELF OVER AND OVER
AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
- ARE YOU STILL DOING DAYS
AND THIS?
- UM, NO.
I JUST STARTED AIRING ON DAYS
YESTERDAY, THOUGH.
- DID YOU KILL ANYONE?
- NO. NOT YET.
BASICALLY,
I GET PAID TO PRETEND.
IT'S JUST CRAZY.
- I HEARD THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET
A STAR OR AN AWARD...
- YES.
- IN PALM SPRINGS.
- YES. COME WITH ME.
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN
THIS INCREDIBLE OCCASION
BY INVITING MY FRIENDS.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?
I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
- OH, IT WAS HOT.
IT WAS 120 DEGREES.
- THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR,
HONEY.
- THAT CAN GO IN THE GARAGE.
- WHAT IS THAT?
- MY STRIPPER POLE.
- [laughs]
- THERE'S A LOT WITH ME
THAT'S CHANGED.
JUST... I'M IN A DIFFERENT SPACE
RIGHT NOW.
I'M IN A HEAD SPACE
OF MOVING FORWARD.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, LISA?
IT'S BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
I WAS JUST CALLING TO SEE
IF YOU GOT MY SAVE THE DATE
FOR MY HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
- CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA GO
TO THAT.
- I'M DEFINITELY NOT GOING
TO THAT.
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
[upbeat music]
THROW ME TO THE WOLVES,
AND I SHALL RETURN
LEADING THE PACK.
- CHARACTER ISN'T WHAT YOU HAVE;
IT'S WHO YOU ARE.
- YOU'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT ME,
BUT IT'S ONLY TRUE
WHEN IT COMES FROM MY LIPS.
- I'M NOT A BITCH,
BUT I'VE PLAYED ONE ON TV.
- I'VE BEEN RICH,
AND I'VE BEEN FAMOUS,
BUT HAPPINESS BEATS THEM BOTH.
- I'D RATHER SPENDING MY LIFE
KICKING ASS THAN KISSING IT.
- PLANES AND YACHTS ARE NICE,
BUT MY HAPPINESS STARTS AT HOME.
- THESE ARE SO GORGEOUS.
- OH, I'M SO HAPPY...
- I LOVE THEM. THEY'RE GORGEOUS.
- RIGHT.
IT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR.
- IT'S STARTING
TO COME TOGETHER.
- RIGHT?
- I LOVE IT.
- EVERYTHING.
- HOW'S EVERYTHING? GOOD?
PERFECT. THANK YOU.
THIS HOUSEWARMING PARTY, FOR ME,
KIND OF, LIKE, MARKS
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
THIS IS THE GOOD PARTY
I'M THROWING,
AND FROM THERE ON,
IT'S GONNA BE POSITIVE.
WE'RE STARTING OUT WITH A BANG.
HOPEFULLY. [chuckles]
SO WE NEED TO MAKE THIS, LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW.
- ARE WE GONNA LEAVE THE CHAIRS
AROUND THE TABLE,
OR DO WE KNOW YET?
- ARE YOU GONNA DISPLAY
ALL THE ALCOHOL?
IS THAT HOW YOU DO IT?
- I-I... I HAVE... I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I KNOW TO DRINK.
- [chuckles]
- YEAH, I'M THE SAME WAY.
- WE KNOW THAT.
- DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BARTEND.
- MOM, CAN YOU UPLOAD
ALL THE GAMES?
- OH, YEAH, LET ME JUST DO THAT
RIGHT NOW.
- [giggles]
- I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, HONEY.
I'M GETTING READY, AND I GOT TO
GO PICK UP MY FRIEND LISA.
- YOUR FRIEND?
I KNOW YOUR FRIEND.
- NO. IT'S A DIFFERENT LISA.
NOT... LISA RINNA.
YOU'VE MET LISA RINNA TOO.
WELL, THERE'S TWO LISAS.
I'M GOING TO BRANDI'S TONIGHT.
- WHAT?
- YEAH, SHE'S HAVING A PARTY
AT HER NEW HOUSE.
THEY LIVE, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES
FROM HERE.
- HMM?
- YEP.
I'M HAPPY FOR BRANDI.
SHE'S INDEPENDENT NOW
AND SHE'S MOVED INTO
THIS BEAUTIFUL NEW HOME.
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR LISA TO BE
A LITTLE MORE OPEN-MINDED
AND GIVE BRANDI A CHANCE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, PORTIA?
I NEED A LITTLE FASHION ADVICE.
- WHO'S BETTER,
LISA RINNA OR LISA V?
- [chuckles] HERE WE GO.
- I WOULD THINK LISA RINNA.
- I PLEAD THE FIFTH.
- HI, WORKERS.
- AH.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- HI, KIRK.
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- HI, CHEF KIRK.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- I DON'T THINK WE NEED
THAT MANY MORE LIMES, MOM.
DO YOU THINK?
- NOT TOO MANY MORE.
- I THINK...
- I'M STARTING TO SHRIVEL.
- IT'S GOOD... IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
IT'S, LIKE, ALPHA...
THERE'S, LIKE, ACID IN IT.
SOMETHING GOES WRONG
AT THE PARTY,
MY PLAN IS TO BE
COMPLETELY WASTED
SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HEAR IT,
YOU DON'T SEE IT,
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
LIKE BLACK-OUT SEX.
- HELLO.
- OH, HELLO.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- FINE, KYLE.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HOW'S EVERYTHING?
- EVERYTHING'S PERFECT.
HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- VERY GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- [whispers]
BRANDI'S NOT QUITE READY.
- SURPRISE.
- SHE'S NOT.
- SURPRISE.
- HEY, GUYS?
WILL YOU GUYS GO OUT...
LIKE, I'M LATE.
WILL YOU GUYS GO OUT THERE
AND, LIKE, SOCIALIZE,
AND I'LL BE OUT IN FIVE MINUTES?
NO, SERIOUSLY,
LIKE, 'CAUSE I'M...
I'M STRESSING AND... STRESSING.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL BE OUT IN ONE MINUTE.
YOU KNOW, CINDERELLA WAS LATE
FOR THE BALL.
WAIT, OR DID SHE LEAVE EARLY?
ONE OF THE TWO.
I THINK EVERYONE
NEEDS TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.
HI! HI! - HELLO.
- HI!
- OH, MY GOD. HOW ARE YOU?
WOW. LOOK AT YOU. - I'M OKAY.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO, LIKE,
STICK MY BOOBS INTO MY DRESS
FOR AN HOUR.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- I'VE GOT SO MUCH TAPE ON.
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- THANK YOU. HI!
- HI.
- HI. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
- THANK YOU.
- YOUR HOME IS GORGEOUS.
- THANK YOU.
I JUST... WE JUST HAD...
- WE BROUGHT YOU A BUDDHA.
- THIS IS MY MOM. HI. OH, OKAY.
HI! NICE TO SEE YOU, HONEY.
BEING THE HOST IS... IS GREAT.
- HOW ARE YOU? LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK LIKE A ROCK AND ROLL.
- I THINK THAT IT'S GREAT
BECAUSE YOU CAN EXCUSE YOURSELF
FROM THE CONVERSATION WHEN
YOU DON'T WANT IT TO CONTINUE
BECAUSE YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE
THERE YOU HAVE TO BE HOSTESS TO.
HI! NICE TO SEE YOU.
OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SKINNY MINI.
- WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME.
- THANK YOU.
- WELCOME.
- WE'RE ON GIRL PATROL TONIGHT.
- IT'S ALL GOOD.
- I RELATE TO BRANDI
ON THE LEVEL
THAT SHE IS A GIRL THAT KNOWS
THAT SHE'S GOT TO GO OUT THERE
AND MAKE IT HAPPEN,
AND SHE'LL DO WHAT SHE HAS TO DO
TO GET WHAT SHE NEEDS.
- IS LISA COMING?
- I DON'T THINK SHE IS.
UM...
SHE SAID SHE WASN'T
AT YOUR HOUSE.
- WELL, YOU'RE COMING TO THE...
TO TO THE HOUSEWARMING.
- I PROBABLY WON'T BE THERE.
WE'VE GOT A LITTLE WAY TO GO
BEFORE I'M GONNA BE WARMING
HER HOUSE FOR HER
OR HER SLIPPERS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
- CHEERS.
- CHEERS. SO...
- CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR HOME.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- AND THIS WINE TASTES SO GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
I-I REALLY LOVE THIS HOUSE.
I DO.
I'M LIKE, HOPE THEY...
I CAN KEEP IT.
I'M JUST FOCUSING ON MAKING
A REALLY LOVELY, WONDERFUL LIFE
FOR MY KIDS,
AND WE COULD LIVE
IN AN APARTMENT AND BE HAPPY,
BUT MAMA WANTED TO HAVE A NICE,
LITTLE PAD FOR THESE BOYS.
- I LOVE IT.
I THINK THERE'S
A REALLY GOOD VIBE IN HERE.
- THANK YOU.
I'M SO GLAD MY PARENTS ARE HERE
TOO.
- MY BOYFRIEND! GUY!
[laughter] HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. YOU LOOK PRETTY.
- LOOK. YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
- OH, WELL,
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.
- IS THIS YOUR L.A. OUTFIT?
- DID YOU JUST
HAVE THAT SPRAYED ON?
- YES.
- [laughs]
- AND SHE'S GOT GOOD BOOBS.
- OH, THANKS.
I DON'T THINK YOUR DAD WAS
INTERESTED IN MY BOOBS...
- OH, FOR SURE HE IS. [laughs]
- NO, HE'S NOT.
- EVERYONE IS.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I LOOKED AT,
SO...
- NO.
- I'M KIDDING, DAD.
- YEAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, I'M GOOD.
- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- THANK YOU.
- ARE YOU PROUD OF HER?
- I'M PROUD OF HER.
- YES.
- SHE'S TALLER THAN ME NOW, TOO,
SO I GOT TO BE REAL CAREFUL
WHAT I SAY.
- BUT YOU KNOW,
THIS IS A REALLY BIG THING
FOR A SINGLE MOM.
- WHEN MY DAD SAYS
HE'S REALLY PROUD OF ME,
IT MEANS A LOT BECAUSE
WE'VE REALLY BEEN THROUGH IT
THE PAST COUPLE YEARS.
I LOVE YOU. - I KNOW YOU DO.
LET'S... LET'S JUST CUT IT
RIGHT THERE.
- HE'S A TOUGH GUY.
HE DOESN'T SAY
THAT KIND OF STUFF.
SO IT'S VERY SWEET.
- HOW ARE YOU?
I'M SO GLAD YOU HAD...
OKAY, GOOD VIBES,
BEAUTIFUL ENERGY...
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE HAPPY, AND YOU'RE HOME.
- I'M HAPPY.
- YOU'RE HOME.
- EVERYBODY'S HERE.
- YES.
- FRIENDS, FANS, FRENEMIES,
EVERYBODY.
- NO, NO,
JUST FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
- THE DOORBELL?
[doorbell chimes loudly]
- EVERYONE'S HERE, SO...
ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVE.
- LISA'S HERE.
- TEXT HIM THE ADDRESS.
- OH, MY GOD. SHE CAME.
- I'M SURPRISED.
- THERE'S NO... OH!
YOU MADE IT! YOU MADE IT!
- TWO SIGHTINGS IN ONE WEEK.
- AH!
- I CHANGED MY MIND.
DECIDED TO COME.
- OH, THANK YOU!
- DON'T PINCH ME.
- OH, CAN I KISS YOU?
- THAT MEANS SHE'S MOVING ON.
THAT'S... NO? - YEAH. I THINK SO.
THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
- UM, I WISH YOU...
- GOOD LUCK?
- HAPPINESS... [laughter]
IN YOUR NEW HOUSE.
- THANK YOU!
I'M ACTUALLY CONFUSED
AT LISA SHOWING UP TONIGHT,
BECAUSE WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU
MORE THAN ONE TIME
THAT THEY'RE NOT COMING
TO YOUR PARTY,
YOU TEND TO BELIEVE THEM.
- YOU KNOW LEEZA?
- VERY WELL.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. VERY WELL.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HI! I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- THANK YOU.
- HOW FUNNY THAT...
- JUST FOR NOW, MY DEAR.
- GO FIGURE, RIGHT? OKAY.
- LEEZA,
YOU HAVE TO MEET MY DAD.
LEEZA... I MEAN, LISA. LEEZA.
- THANK YOU.
- THIS IS GUY GLANVILLE, MY DAD.
- HELLO.
- LISA.
- WELL, I'VE HEARD A LOT
ABOUT YOU.
- VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
- THIS IS KEN, HER HUSBAND.
- WE JUST MET.
- OH, NICE.
- WE MEET AGAIN.
- I'M SUPER HAPPY THAT YOU CAME.
I DID NOT THINK YOU WERE COMING.
- I WASN'T.
- OKAY.
- WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?
- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- SHE LOVES ME.
- NO, SHE DOESN'T.
- YES, SHE DOES.
- NO.
I JUST THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT?"
- YOU DO.
- NO, I DON'T. NO, I DON'T.
- YOU DO.
- OH, NO, NO.
- COMING UP...
- SHE WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS
IN A HEARTBEAT,
AND SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT...
- WELL YOU KNOW...
- FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS.
- I BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
- I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME BY
AND WISH YOU WELL,
'CAUSE I DO WISH YOU WELL.
- THANK YOU.
I WISH YOU WELL TOO.
- LIFE IS VERY SHORT...
- IT IS.
- AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
A SECOND OF IT.
- NO, AND I DON'T WANT
TO BE NEGATIVE
AND GO BACKWARDS, EITHER,
AND I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.
SO HOPEFULLY, WE CAN,
AT SOME POINT,
FIGURE OUT SOMETHING
AND MOVE FORWARD.
- DO YOU, BRANDI?
- I DO.
- I KNOW BY ME NOT GOING
TO BRANDI'S HOUSEWARMING
I'M FEEDING INTO THE NEGATIVITY.
THERE'LL BE MORE SPECULATION,
BUT BY ME SHOWING UP
AND PUTTING A BOTTLE
OF CHAMPAGNE IN HER HAND,
IT'S DONE.
I NIP IT IN THE BUD.
- CONGRATULATIONS...
- [gasps]
- ON YOUR DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE.
- OH, MY GOD.
YOUR DAUGHTER GOT MARRIED?
- WAS IT JUST SO AMAZING?
YOU'RE GLOWING FROM IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU'RE THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE.
- AM I?
- YEAH. OH, TOTALLY.
- I-I... YES.
- I NOW DECLARE
THAYER AND BROOKE
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
PLEASE SHARE A KISS.
[cheers and applause]
- KIM SEEMS SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
WOW, SHE HAS COME A LONG WAY,
AND I LOVE SEEING THAT.
- HE'S JUST AMAZING.
- THAT'S... WHAT A WONDERFUL,
WONDERFUL MOMENT.
- YEAH.
- OH! HONEY!
- THAT'S SO FUNNY...
- OH, HI!
I TOLD HIM TODAY... I TOLD THEM
BOTH YOU WEREN'T COMING.
- WELL, WE NEARLY DIDN'T,
AND THEN I CHANGED MY MIND,
AND I WAS ON THE WAY
TO PUMP WHEN I THOUGHT,
"[bleep] IT."
- OH, NICE.
- AND I'M GONNA COME
IN YOUR LANGUAGE.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YEP.
- THANK YOU.
- AND THEN I THOUGHT
I'LL COME AND WISH YOU WELL.
- [laughs]
- SHE LOVES YOU.
- I KNOW. I LOVE YOU.
- WELL, SHE'S GOT A FUNNY WAY
OF SHOWING IT,
BUT WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER.
- WELL, I'M... CAN I...
I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS.
- OH.
- [laughs]
- I DON'T NEED A SPANKING
OR A LECTURE OR A TIME-OUT.
[laughter]
- MAYBE WE'LL HAVE LUNCH.
- [laughs]
- I'M VERY SENSITIVE
AND VERY TEMPERAMENTAL.
- OKAY, GOOD.
WE'LL LEAVE THAT ONE ALONE THEN.
- OKAY.
- WE LEARNED THAT ALREADY.
- YEAH, JUST A LITTLE BIT.
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA... I'M GONNA GO
SOCIALIZE AT THIS POINT.
- OH, THIS IS FANTASTIC.
NOW, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
- NO, I MEAN,
SHE'S JUST ALWAYS SO MOUTHY,
AND SHE'LL HURT YOUR FEELINGS
IN A HEARTBEAT...
- VERY WILLFUL. VERY WILLFUL.
- AND SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT...
- WELL, YOU KNOW...
- FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS
AND...
- I BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO...
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT CRITICIZING
YOUR DAUGHTER.
IT'S LIKE IF SOMEBODY
CRITICIZED MINE,
I WOULD SLAP THEM, PROBABLY.
SO I'M NOT GOING TO GO THERE.
- I KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT PERFECT,
BUT I LOVE HER ANYWAY.
- OH, AND... OH, MY GOSH!
YOU LOOK FABULOUS, AS ALWAYS.
- HOW ARE YOU, HONEY?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- ALL THESE SURPRISE GUESTS...
I MEAN, LISA VANDERPUMP,
ADRIENNE.
WHO'S NEXT, EDDIE AND LEANN?
- SURPRISE.
- OH.
- AH! [gasps]
- [chuckles]
- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
- HI. YES.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU'RE LOOKING FABULOUS,
AS ALWAYS.
- OH, MY GOD. YOU TOO.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU SMELL AMAZING.
- THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, JAKE.
- HI.
I THINK WE MET ONCE.
- BRANDI. YOU KNOW HIM.
- ADRIENNE'S BOY-TOY, JAKE,
IS SUPER CUTE,
AND I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO GET
DICK-MATIZED BY YOUNG BOYS TOO.
- I HAVE 150
FOR WHOEVER HAS THE BEST ABS.
AN EXTRA $150.
- WHAT DOES IT SAY?
- OH, IT'S THE WHOLE STATE?
- MY MOM TAUGHT ME
NOT TO GET TATTOOS.
- ME TOO!
OH, MY GOD.
WE SHOULD TOTALLY HANG OUT.
AT LEAST WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOSH. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
LOOKING FANTASTIC.
- I'M NOT JUST PROUD OF MYSELF
FOR WORKING THINGS OUT
WITH ADRIENNE.
I'M PROUD OF ADRIENNE TOO.
I MEAN, IT TOOK A LOT
FOR BOTH OF US
TO GET TO THIS SPOT.
- BY THE WAY...
- OH, MY GOD!
- WE HAD A BET!
- I HAVE THE PROOF RIGHT HERE.
- WHAT?
- WAIT A SECOND.
- OH, NO.
- I BRING MY PROOF.
WE HAD A BET. WE HAD A BET.
- WE DID.
- BY THE WAY,
OBSESSED WITH DAYS OF OUR LIVES
FOR A LONG TIME.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO, I REALLY...
I KNOW THAT LISA RINNA,
SHE CAME ON AS BILLIE.
I HAD TO STOP WATCHING, 'CAUSE
SHE WASN'T THE REAL BILLIE,
'CAUSE THE REAL BILLIE
WENT AWAY.
- I THOUGHT SHE WAS
THE REAL BILLIE.
- MM-MM. I THINK YOU'RE WRONG.
- I WAS THERE.
- I'M GONNA LOOK IT UP
WHEN I GET HOME.
- WAIT, WE GOT TO PUT SOME MONEY
ON IT.
- YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE...
I THOUGHT SHE WAS
THE SECOND BILLIE.
- NO, SHE WAS THE ORIGINAL
BILLIE.
- I WAS NUMBER ONE. YEAH.
- WERE YOU ON THAT SHOW TOO?
- NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SHE WAS HUGE ON THAT SHOW.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I REMEMBERED BOTH OF THEM...
- WHEN SHE FIRST
CAME ON THE SCENE...
- AND MAYBE YOU LIKE
THE SECOND BILLIE BETTER.
- MAYBE THAT'S TRUE.
- OBVIOUSLY, I WAS RIGHT.
I ACTUALLY WAS THERE.
- [gasps] HI!
- OH! HI!
- LISA, IT'S ASS.
- HELLO... OH, GOD.
- LIPS AND ASS.
- ASS AND LIPS.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
- I LIKE MY LIPS.
IF YOU DON'T THINK OF LIPS
WHEN YOU THINK OF LISA RINNA,
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
RIGHT?
- HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW PLACE?
- I LOVE IT.
- IT'S FANTASTIC, RIGHT?
- I LOVE THIS PLACE.
- OH, AMAZING.
- ARE YOU FREE ON WEDNESDAY?
- UH-HUH.
- WE'RE JUST DOING
A VERY SMALL EVENT
FOR GIRLS IN FOSTER CARE,
AND EVERYBODY JUST KIND OF
BRINGS A COUPLE OF THINGS
OUT OF THEIR CLOSET.
- LIKE, SOMETHING DRESSY
THAT YOU CAN GO OUT IN?
- YEAH. I THINK SO.
- NOW, HOW OLD ARE THESE GIRLS?
- THEY'RE LIKE 16 AND UPWARDS.
15, 16 AND UPWARDS, YOU KNOW.
THE CHARITY EVENT IS FOR
YOUNG WOMEN IN FOSTER CARE.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT'S QUITE CLOSE TO MY HEART
BECAUSE MAX WAS ADOPTED
FROM FOSTER CARE,
AND I KNOW THAT
HAD HE NOT BEEN WITH US,
MAYBE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN
ONE OF THESE KIDS.
IT'S NO WORK FOR ME AT ALL...
THROW TOGETHER A TEA
AND INVITE EVERYBODY AND PULL
SOME THINGS OUT OF MY CLOSET.
IT'S REALLY KIND OF, YOU KNOW,
EASY FOR ME TO DO THAT.
- SO FUN.
- THINGS GOT A LITTLE VOLATILE
AT MY CHARITY EVENT LAST YEAR.
- IF I WAS A BULLY, I WOULD HAVE
KNOCKED YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT
BY NOW.
- OH.
IF BRANDI SHOW UP
AND SHE BRINGS A FEW DRESSES
AND SHE CONTRIBUTES
TO THE CAUSE,
I CAN PUT UP WITH HER
BULL[bleep] FOR A MINUTE.
- HELLO.
- GIVE ME A COUPLE GLASSES...
- I JUST WANT TO SAY,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU,
AND...
OH, I LOVE YOU.
AND THIS HOME IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
THE VIBE THAT... IS SO AMAZING.
YOU AND YOUR BOYS
DESERVE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOME.
- I JUST NEVER REALLY THOUGHT
IN A MILLION YEARS
THIS WOULD BE MY LIFE.
IT'S GREAT!
- BEING A SINGLE MOM
AND GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE
IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING
A WOMAN CAN EVER GO THROUGH.
- I'M VERY HAPPY TO HAVE
GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU BETTER
AND TO LIKE THE PERSON
THAT I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW.
- JUST GOOD LUCK TO YOU
IN THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
- AW.
[applause]
- TOAST TO BRANDI? NO, NOT YET.
I'M HERE.
I BROUGHT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
THAT'S AS GOOD
AS IT'S GONNA GET.
BYE, DARLING.
- BYE. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
IT MEANS A LOT.
YOU ALWAYS... YOU ALWAYS
HOLD ME BACK LIKE THIS.
- I DO?
- YEAH.
- THAT'S ME. THAT'S NOT YOU.
- BUT NOT ALWAYS.
YOU USED TO NOT. - OKAY, WELL...
- THANK YOU FOR COMING, THOUGH.
- OKAY.
- I MEAN IT.
- I-I'M GLAD I DID.
- ARE YOU?
- YES.
DON'T QUESTION IT
AND GET OFF MY ASS.
BYE, BYE, DADDY.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- I HOPE HAVE...
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- PARDON?
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- WHO?
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- IN MY IDEAL WORLD,
I'D PREFER EVERYBODY TO GET ON,
AND FOR ME TO HAVE THIS
EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT FROM BRANDY
WHICH DOESN'T GIVE HER
THE POWER TO HURT ME,
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
I COULD DEAL WITH HER.
OKAY.
SEE? ALL GOOD.
- WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED WITH LISA?
WHAT-WHAT'D SHE SAY?
AND WHAT'D YOU DO?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT GONNA, LIKE,
FORCE SOMEONE TO COME HERE
IF THEY DON'T WANT TO,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
I'M GLAD SHE CAME.
I WAS GLAD TO SEE HER.
KEN STILL WILL NOT
MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME.
SO IT IS WHAT IT IS.
I CARE ABOUT HER, BUT I WANT...
I LOVE MY LIFE NOW.
I'M AN INDIVIDUAL.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH YOU.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH KIM.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH YOLANDA,
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GETTING
TO THAT NEXT LEVEL WITH HER,
LIKE, WHERE I ACTUALLY KNOW HER.
HI, LOVEY. - HI, IS THIS A...
- HI.
- IS THIS A PRIVATE
CONVERSATION?
- NO. NOT AT ALL.
- NO.
- NO, WE'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT
HOW LISA SHOWED UP TONIGHT.
- I'M GLAD SHE DID.
- OH, NO. I'M GLAD SHE CAME.
- WAS SHE FRIENDLY?
EVERYTHING WAS GOOD?
- OH, YEAH.
- EVERYTHING WAS...
I DIDN'T CATCH...
AND SHE WAS VERY NICE TO EVERY...
BUT I THINK IT WENT...
- IT WAS GREAT.
- LISA AND I, EVEN THOUGH WE'RE
MAKING, YOU KNOW, PROGRESS,
WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY
SAT DOWN ONE-ON-ONE
AND TALKED ABOUT WHAT OUR ISSUES
ARE WITH EACH OTHER,
AND I THINK IT REALLY HAS
TO BE DONE
IN ORDER TO GET RESOLUTION.
SHE'S EXTREMELY SENSITIVE.
I DON'T... I DON'T WANT TO SPEND...
- WE'RE ALL SENSITIVE.
- OF COURSE WE ARE,
BUT THE POINT IS,
IF YOU AND I CAN MOVE PAST IT,
IF WE CAN ALL MOVE FORWARD...
- NO.
- COMING UP...
[cheer and applause]
- LISA, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- ANTHONY, HI.
- HI, WELCOME BACK.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
- OH, MY GOSH.
WE ARE SO EXCITED.
THANKS FOR GETTING UP EARLY.
- I LOVE BEING HERE.
- HERE'S A COUPLE THINGS
FOR YOU TO LOOK AT.
BUT LET'S GET YOU
TO HAIR AND MAKEUP NOW.
- OKAY. GREAT.
- ALL RIGHT?
RIGHT THIS WAY.
YOU REMEMBER YOUR WAY
AROUND HERE.
- UM, KIND OF, YEAH.
OF COURSE I DO.
- IT IS A MAZE.
- FOR ME, IT'S KEY...
YOU HAVE TO REMAIN RELEVANT.
YOU HAVE TO BE OUT THERE.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING
GOING ON,
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T
IN THIS BUSINESS,
PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT YOU
IN FIVE SECONDS.
OH, IN HERE, OF COURSE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, WE MOVED DOWN HERE.
- WE DID.
- HI.
- SO I THINK
WE'RE GONNA GO MIDDLE?
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- HI. I'M LISA.
- HEY, LISA. I'M CHRIS.
- HI, CHRIS.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
I HAVE COHOSTED AND FILLED IN
ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD NOW...
GOSH, OFF AND ON FOR PROBABLY
AS LONG AS IT'S BEEN ON.
OH, THERE'S KIT.
LET ME GO SAY HI.
THE THING ABOUT LIVE TELEVISION
IS, IT'S LIVE.
YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK
WHAT YOU'VE SAID.
YOU CAN'T PREPARE.
YOU CAN'T REALLY PLAN.
[laughs] I LOVE THOSE PATCHES.
- CAN WE GET YOU SOME?
DO WE HAVE ANY EXTRA?
- DO YOU HAVE ANY EXTRA?
NO ONE CAN CONTROL YOU.
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
NO ONE CAN CONTROL ME.
- DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THIS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE?
- YES.
- HAVE YOU DONE IT?
- NO, BUT I WANT TO.
- OKAY, SO GOOD.
SO MAYBE THESE BOYS
WILL NOMINATE YOU.
- 20 MINUTES TO AIR. 20 MINUTES.
- I DON'T CARE IF
YOU'RE IN THIS BUSINESS OR NOT,
THE PRESSURE IS THAT YOU HAVE TO
LOOK LIKE A 20-YEAR-OLD FOREVER.
I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE
THAT I STAY LOOKING FRESH
AS A [bleep] DAISY.
[laughs]
- SHAKE IT OUT.
- THERE WE GO.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- HEY.
I WORE THE CHEAPEST GLASSES THAT
I OWN JUST IN CASE I LOSE THEM.
- THAT'S GOOD. JUST IN CASE.
- SO WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT I'M
GONNA ACTUALLY GO IN THE WATER?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? - 50/50.
- BEING AN ACTRESS, I DO FEEL,
YOU KNOW,
THE NEED TO AT LEAST
KEEP IT UP...
KEEP THE APPEARANCE UP, BECAUSE
I MEAN, THAT IS PART OF MY JOB.
DON'T LAUGH AT ME
IF I FALL ON MY ASS.
- YOU WON'T BE FALLING DOWN
AT ALL.
- I'M DEFINITELY PASSIONATE
ABOUT WORKING OUT.
IT'S SOMETHING
THAT I REALLY ENJOY DOING.
UM...
[sighs] IS THAT TRUE?
- HOW IS THAT?
- IT'S LIKE HOLDING
A GARAGE DOOR, ACTUALLY.
- HERE WE GO. I KNOW. IT IS.
- SOMETIMES, I'D RATHER BE
EATING A DOUGHNUT
THAN WORKING OUT,
BUT I'VE BEEN KNOWN
TO DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.
[laughs]
[sighs] I'M NOT KIDDING.
I ACTUALLY HAVE.
- KEEP IT POINTING STRAIGHT.
THEN WE'RE GONNA STAND UP.
AND YOU KEEP YOUR KNEES BENT.
JUST A SLIGHT BEND IN THAT
KNEE... OF THE KNEES.
- AH!
- AND JUST...
YOU WANT TO START PADDLING.
ONCE YOU'RE STANDING STILL,
YOU COULD BE...
YOU CAN FALL.
SO YOU WANT TO HAVE
THAT MOVEMENT OF...
GOOD.
- IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY
RELEVANT IN HOLLYWOOD
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE HIRED,
AND TO BE HIRED,
YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEWHAT,
YOU KNOW, CURRENT AND IMPORTANT,
"WHATEVER THAT MEANS"
TO "WHOMEVER THAT MEANS."
- HOPEFULLY,
THERE'S NO SHARKS HANGING OUT...
- YOU KNOW,
SHARKS DON'T USUALLY SCARE ME,
BUT THERE'S BEEN
SO MANY SIGHTINGS LATELY.
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T REALLY LIKE
THE PUBLICITY ROUTE,
BUT I KNOW THAT IT WORKS
FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
FOR ME, I JUST ALWAYS WANT TO
JUST KEEP DOING MY CRAFT.
AS AN ACTOR,
THAT'S BEEN MY BREAD AND BUTTER.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I DO.
- WATCH OUT.
- AH!
THAT WAS NOT A PRETTY DISMOUNT.
- THREE, TWO...
- TODAY ON
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD LIVE,
LOOK WHO I HAVE.
LISA RINNA IS HERE. - HI.
- YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
- YOU BETCHA, BABY.
YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT A.L.S...
THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE?
- I TOOK IT.
- YOU DID IT?
- YEAH.
- AND EVERYONE FROM J.T.
TO MARTHA STEWART,
THEY'RE DUMPING COLD WATER
ON THEMSELVES.
- WOW.
- I LOVE THIS.
- WE'RE GONNA CHALLENGE
TWO STARS RIGHT HERE
TO DO IT LIVE
ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD LIVE,
WHICH STARTS RIGHT NOW.
HI, SWEETIE, I LOVE...
- DID WE PLAN
OUR LITTLE MATCHING...
- LOOK AT THIS. WE DID.
- PLEATHER?
- WHAT IS IT,
THE LEATHER SHIFT DRESS DAY.
- LOOKING GOOD.
- WEAR LEATHER TO WORK DAY.
- I LOVE THAT I'M A CELEBRITY
OR THAT I'M FAMOUS
OR THAT I'M KNOWN.
WE WORK FOR THAT.
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LISA
TAKING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE
AFTER THESE MESSAGES.
- NOW THEY GO,
"I THINK SHE'S TOO FAMOUS.
"I THINK SHE'S TOO WELL-KNOWN.
WE NEED TO GO WITH SOMEBODY
THAT'S UNKNOWN."
AND YOU'RE LIKE,
"WHAT THE [bleep]?
"I WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE
TO BECOME KNOWN
AND NOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA HIRE ME
BECAUSE I'M TOO KNOWN?"
THAT PISSES ME OFF.
- AND GO!
- HEY!
- WHOO!
[cheers and applause]
- WHOO!
- THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
YOUR SISTER'S EVER MADE HERSELF
A SANDWICH.
- THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING.
- PORTIA, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE MAKING YOUR OWN SANDWICH.
YOU CAN START COOKING DINNER
FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
- WELL, THE GOOD THING ABOUT
THIS IS THAT
NEXT TIME SHE ASKS US
TO MAKE HER A SANDWICH,
WE CAN JUST TELL HER TO
GO MAKE IT HERSELF.
- SPEAKING OF MAKING
YOUR OWN FOOD AND STUFF,
I NEED TO TEACH YOU SOME OF THAT
STUFF BEFORE YOU GO TO SCHOOL,
BY THE WAY.
- I KNOW. YOU DO.
- AND ALSO HAVE TO TEACH YOU HOW
TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY
- THAT I DO NEED TO LEARN.
- ALEXIA'S LEAVING
FOR COLLEGE SOON,
AND I FEEL LIKE
I PREPARED MY KIDS
FOR A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE.
LAUNDRY IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
- YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO LAUNDRY?
- DO YOU?
- HONEY, I KNOW...
I MEAN,
I KNOW HOW TO DO LAUNDRY.
- [laughs]
MAURICIO DOESN'T KNOW HOW
TO DO ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE,
WHETHER IT'S LAUNDRY,
CHANGE A LIGHTBULB,
MAKE A SANDWICH.
- I DON'T REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME I DID...
- DON'T ACT ALL JUDGMENTAL.
"YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY?"
- HAVE YOU EVER DONE LAUNDRY?
- IN MY LIFE?
- AH!
- OR IN THE LAST...
- LISTEN TO DAD
SWEATING BULLETS HERE.
- OR THE LAST...
- LOOK AT HIM.
OH, HIS LITTLE, RED CHEEKS.
- OR THE LAST 20 YEARS?
- IF HE WANTS A SANDWICH,
HE'LL SAY TO ME,
"OH, I REALLY WANT A SANDWICH.
WHERE'S THE TURKEY?"
IT'S IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
HONEY, BELIEVE ME,
I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS.
YOU'VE NEVER DONE LAUNDRY
IN YOUR LIFE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK IT IS?
- YOU'RE OFF.
- I'M OFF.
- GOING OUT?
- ARE YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT
WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
- HONEY...
- I'M ACTUALLY JUST GOING
TO SHELBY'S HOUSE
FOR A BARBECUE FOR A LITTLE BIT.
- OOH.
- FIVE MINUTES AWAY.
- MUAH.
- BYE, MOM.
VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.
- MUAH.
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU GUYS.
- THIS IS HOW WE'RE GONNA BE
EVERY NIGHT PRETTY SOON,
WITH ONLY PORTIA AND YOU AND ME.
- I KNOW.
- I THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT
ALEXIA IS ONE YEAR
YOUNGER THAN I WAS
WHEN I HAD FARRAH.
ALL MY FRIENDS WERE GOING OFF
TO COLLEGE,
GOING TO THEIR SORORITIES,
AND I WAS HOME, NURSING A BABY.
- WE'VE GONE FROM SIX TO THREE.
- WHO'S...
YOU MEAN A FAMILY OF SIX.
- A FAMILY OF SIX
TO A FAMILY OF THREE.
- OKAY, WE'RE JUMPING THE GUN.
THEY'RE STILL AT HOME.
- [laughs]
- BUT IT DOES FEEL LIKE THAT.
- IT'S CRAZY, THOUGH, HUH?
- PORTIA,
WANT TO GO OUT TO DINNER,
JUST YOUR DAD, YOU,
AND ME, AFTER YOUR SANDWICH?
- OKAY.
I'M MAKING POO, BY THE WAY.
MOM, WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- OKAY.
- COULD WE PUFF THIS UP
A BIT MORE?
- YEAH, I'M GONNA PUT
SOME MORE THINGS...
- WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT?
- I'VE GOT AN ASSORTMENT
OF OUR MANY DESSERTS.
- OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA PUT
ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA IN HERE.
OKAY? HOT WATER.
THEN WE'RE GONNA PUT MINT
AND CHAMOMILE,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO PUT
EXTRA HOT WATER IN HERE.
ARE WE OKAY?
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE NEVER
POURED A CUP OF TEA BEFORE.
YOU HAVEN'T, HAVE YOU?
- NO, I HAVEN'T.
- HAVE YOU?
OKAY, WELL, THIS IS YOUR JOB.
[laughter] OKAY, YOU'RE HERE.
BUT THESE WILL NEED TIME...
- HELLO.
- HEY. OH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
- THANK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YEAH. OF COURSE.
- OH, HELLO.
I LOVE YOU FOR COMING.
THANK YOU.
- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
- OH, YOU.
- HI, MY GORGEOUS!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I MISSED YOU!
- SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, GORGEOUS.
- OH, YOU LOVELY THING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- GOWNS.
- OH, THAT'S GONNA LOOK GREAT
ON ME.
THANK YOU.
- I AM ASKED TO GO
TO MANY CHARITY FUNCTIONS,
AND I TRY TO GO TO AS MANY
AS I POSSIBLY CAN.
I THINK AS A CELEBRITY,
IT'S A DUTY.
IF IT'S A FRIEND,
I'LL ALWAYS SHOW UP.
100%.
- THANK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
- I'M DOING WELL. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- CAN I OFFER YOU SOME TEA?
- [gasps] SURE. I'D LOVE SOME.
- WE HAVE BREAKFAST, CHAMOMILE,
OR A ZEN TEA, IT'S A MINT.
- I'LL HAVE A ZEN TEA.
- OKAY.
- I NEED ZEN TEA.
- THEY LOOK...
- WELL, A LOT OF THEM...
- WOW!
- THEY GOT A LOT OF PROM THINGS
LAST YEAR.
- OH, I...
- SO THEY NEED A BIT OF...
- GOOD SELECTION OF SHORT ONES
TOO.
- GREAT SELECTION.
- THESE ALL...
THESE ARE GOING, RIGHT HERE?
- IT'S REALLY GREAT.
- [gasps] HI, GORGEOUS.
- HELLO!
HOW ARE YOU?
- MUAH.
- YOU LOOK LOVELY.
- AS DO YOU.
- AND THIS IS AMAZING.
LIKE, NAVY BLUE
IS MY FAVORITE COLOR.
- WELL, YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE,
HAVEN'T YOU?
- NEVER BEEN HERE.
- OH, YOU HAVEN'T?
- THIS IS SO UP OUR ALLEY.
JUST THE DECOR, THE WHOLE THING.
- THESE PIECES. YEAH.
- YEAH, THE CHANDELIERS
AND, LIKE, THE BAR.
- IT'S VERY ECLECTIC.
- YES.
- I HAVE VERY ECLECTIC TASTE.
VERY.
LISA VANDERPUMP HAS GREAT STYLE.
SHE'S VERY BEVERLY HILLS WITH...
A TWIST.
- HELLO.
- THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
- OH, I FORGOT
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE.
- NO. I-I HAVEN'T.
- IT'S NOT NORMALLY OPEN
IN THE DAY.
- BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME.
THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE.
- STOP. STOP.
- IT'S TRUE.
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I'M HAPPY TO FINALLY SEE IT.
I WISH SHE WOULD HAVE SENT US
AN INVITATION.
- FEELS LIKE YOU'RE TRANSPORTED
SOMEWHERE IN PROVENCE
OR SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE.
I MEAN, IT'S GOT 100-YEAR-OLD
OLIVE TREES.
I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
- IF YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT EVENT
IN YOUR LIFE,
FRIENDS SHOULD BE THERE.
I MEAN, IF YOU SAY
I'M YOUR FRIEND,
THEN INVITE ME TO THESE
IMPORTANT, YOU KNOW,
CELEBRATIONS IN YOUR LIFE.
- HELLO.
- HELLO!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- SO CUTE.
- THANK YOU. SO DO YOU.
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- HI, MY FRIENDS.
- HI.
- HI.
- REALLY NICE TO SEE YOU.
NICE TO SEE EVERYONE.
HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HELLO. CUTE!
HELLO.
- LOOKS BEAUTIFUL IN HERE,
OF COURSE.
- THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- I GOT SOME STUFF
FROM THE STORE, TOO,
BECAUSE I DIDN'T...
- OKAY.
THANK YOU.
- I ONLY GOT THREE, BUT...
- NO, ANYTHING YOU GIVE ME
IS FANTASTIC.
THEY WERE THRILLED LAST YEAR.
- OH, GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
WILL YOU TAKE...
CAN YOU TAKE THAT?
- IT'S ALL I HAVE.
- NO, NO, THAT'S AMAZING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S GREAT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- NICE.
- BUT IT'S GOOD. YES.
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR COMING
TO THE HOUSEWARMING.
MY PARENTS WERE REALLY HAPPY
TO CATCH UP WITH YOU.
- THEY WERE VERY SWEET,
ACTUALLY.
- MY PARENTS ARE VERY NICE.
- I KNOW.
- HOW DID THEY HAVE ME?
- I WAS TRYING
TO FIGURE THAT OUT.
- I KNOW.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE THE
NEXT THING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
- NO, NO. WELL, IT WILL BE.
I WAS GONNA WAIT A WHILE.
- RIGHT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
BUT THEY WERE VERY SWEET.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME.
THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY NICE
TO SEE EVERYONE, SO...
LISA CAN MAKE ME NERVOUS,
AND I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY.
I MEAN, I... [laughs]
I JUST... YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY
SHE MAKES ME NERVOUS.
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
- OKAY...
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S ENTER.
[laughs] - GO ON, THEN.
- THANK YOU.
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- GREAT.
I CAN TAKE THAT OFF YOU
IF YOU'D LIKE.
- THANK YOU.
- SURE. WE HAVE TEA.
WE HAVE SANGRIA.
- DO YOU HAVE COFFEE?
- WE CAN GET YOU A COFFEE.
- OKAY.
HI, GIRL.
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
LISA DIDN'T INVITE ME
TO THE PUMP OPENING.
I WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF SHOCKED.
[British accent] I HOPE
LISA WILL BE A DARLING TO ME.
[laughs] I HOPE LISA WILL BE
A DARLING TO ME.
- OH, YOU'RE SO GREAT.
[laughter]
- [British accent]
I MISS YOU, DARLING.
[laughs]
- WE MIGHT NEED TO TRIM THESE...
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- NO, WE DON'T...
- IT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH. [laughs]
- IT'LL NEED TO BE A LOT BIGGER
ONE THAN THAT.
YOU NEED TO...
- ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON.
- YOU NEED TO CHOP THIS TREE
DOWN AND GIVE IT TO ME.
WHAT? - IT'S THE OLIVE BRANCH.
- IT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH.
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT IT.
- THAT CAME OFF
REALLY, REALLY EASY.
[laughter]
HERE YOU GO. - TAKE IT.
- SHE'S OFFERING IT TO YOU.
- YOU CAN'T JUST RIP A BRANCH
OFF OF A BEAUTIFUL, LIVE TREE.
DOES SHE THINK LISA
IS GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS?
AREN'T THINGS BAD ENOUGH
BETWEEN THEM?
- [laughs]
- I'D LIKE TO ACTUALLY TIE
HER UP WITH THIS OLIVE BRANCH
AND LEAVE HER ON THE TREE.
IT'S NOT FUNNY. - IT IS.
- IT'S NOT FUNNY.
- ALL RIGHT.
IT'S MY BEAUTIFUL TREE.
- WELL, IT IS NOW.
- AT LEAST TAKE IT.
- THANK YOU.
- SHE'S GONNA HIT ME WITH IT.
OH, THAT HURT.
- OH, YOU PROBABLY LIKED IT.
- A LITTLE BIT.
- I CAN TELL THAT
LISA VANDERPUMP AND BRANDI
HAVE A HISTORY,
AND IT'S NOT A GOOD ONE,
AND I DON'T WANT TO GET NEAR
THAT WITH A TEN-FOOT POLE.
- JUST EAT SOMETHING, PLEASE.
- YOU CHICKS ARE CRAZY.
- YOU THINK?
- COMING UP...
- CAN YOU PLEASE NOT, YOU KNOW,
PULL ANY BRANCHES OFF MY TREE?
- DO YOU WANT ME TO EAT
YOUR PUSSY?
[laughs]
- SORRY?
- I ENDED UP
DOING THIS CHALLENGE
THAT I NEVER WOULD HAVE EVER
THOUGHT I WOULD DO
IN A MILLION YEARS.
IT'S CALLED AN A.L.S....
FOR A.L.S.
YOU KNOW, THAT HORRIBLE DISEASE.
- OH, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW MY BEST FRIEND
HAS A.L.S., RIGHT?
- NO. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
- LET ME DO IT NOW WITH YOU.
COME OVER HERE.
- I WASN'T NOMINATED.
HERE'S...
HOW DO YOU NOMINATE SOMEONE?
- YOU JUST SAY,
"I NOMINATE YOU."
- WHO DO YOU...
- LET'S DO IT. YES.
- DO YOU WANT TO DO IT LATER
OR NOW?
- NO, I WANT TO DO IT NOW.
- TAKE IT OFF.
- WHOO!
- I WILL DO ANYTHING
FOR MY GIRLFRIEND.
- WAIT, WHAT IS...
- COME ON, LET'S GO.
YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS
FOR A LONG TIME.
AH! [cheering]
- I THINK IF LISA COULD DO THIS
CHALLENGE WITH ALL OF US,
SHE WOULD. [laughs]
SOME OF US MORE THAN OTHERS.
[cheers and applause]
- SHAKE! SHAKE!
- WET T-SHIRT CONTEST.
- OH, IT'S RIGHT IN HERE!
- [laughs]
OKAY. GOOD! OKAY. NEXT.
- I LOVE...
I LOVE THIS 50 BUSINESS.
- I DO TOO.
- YOU KNOW, YOU GET
SUCH A DIFFERENT CONFIDENCE
IN YOUR BEING AND YOUR...
YOU KNOW?
- IT'S TRUE.
- IT'S A DIFFERENT FEELING.
- IT'S CALLED
NOT GIVING A [bleep].
- YES, I WAS GONNA SAY.
- [laughs]
- IT REALLY DOES HAPPEN
WITHOUT IT...
WITHOUT YOU EVEN TRYING.
YOU JUST COME TO THAT POINT
WHERE YOU GO...
- OKAY, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
- WHATEVER.
GETTING OLDER HASN'T REALLY
AFFECTED MY CAREER THAT MUCH.
I STILL PLAY CRAZY. [laughs]
I STILL PLAY THE CRAZY VIXEN,
WHATEVER.
- THE ASS IS HANGING...
- I DON'T CARE.
- THE ARMS ARE FLABBY.
- I THINK IT ALSO...
IF YOU KIND OF LIVE THROUGH
THINGS,
AND YOU SURVIVE THINGS,
YOU KIND OF GO, "OH."
YOU GET PERSPECTIVE. - YEAH.
- YOU'RE LIKE,
"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL."
- NONE OF IT IS IMPORTANT.
- I HAVEN'T REALLY
PLAYED ANYTHING
THAT IS SO OUT OF THE FOOD CHAIN
OF WHAT I'VE ALWAYS PLAYED,
AND I THINK THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
- NO. DON'T WANT KIDS.
- YES, KIDS.
YOU HAVE CHILDREN.
- ME?
I ONLY HAD YOU. - IT'S TRUE.
I WANTED TO ASK YOU,
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU WANT TO GO
TO LUNCH TOMORROW?
WITH ME?
- WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?
- BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME DEEP DOWN.
PLEASE?
- "PLEASE"?
- PRETTY PLEASE?
IT'LL BE GOOD. I PROMISE.
NOTHING BAD.
- ARE YOU GONNA BE MEAN?
- NO. ARE YOU?
- NO.
I'M NOT SURE.
- [laughs]
- CAN I THINK ABOUT IT?
- YOU CAN.
I GUESS SAYING
"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT,"
IT'S BETTER THAN A "NO."
- CAN YOU PLEASE NOT, YOU KNOW,
PULL ANY BRANCHES OFF MY TREE?
- I WAS TRYING TO EXTEND
A BRANCH.
- IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT MORE
THAN THAT.
- LIKE, A LITERAL...
DO YOU WANT ME
TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?
[laughs]
- SORRY? SORRY?
- NO, I...
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO,
YOU HIGHNESS?
- I THINK I'LL PASS ON THAT.
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, THOUGH,
BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'LL PASS.
- I'VE HEARD I'M GOOD AT IT.
- IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO...
OH, SURE YOU ARE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
AT LUNCH TOMORROW?
- NO. I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE...
I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE ICE
WITH YOU.
I DON'T...
- THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE WAYS
TO BREAK THE ICE.
I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
- PERFECT.
- THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER,
BUT I'VE GOT THAT COVERED,
SO TO SPEAK.
DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?
I'M HERE TO SERVE YOU.
- REALLY?
- YOU ARE?
- OH.
- OH, MY GOSH. I'M SO EXCITED.
- WELL, BRANDI JUST...
BRANDI JUST OFFERED ME...
SHE WAS VERY SWEET, ACTUALLY.
SHE WAS REALLY NICE.
YEAH, SHE JUST MADE ME
A REALLY BEAUTIFUL OFFER,
BECAUSE YOU TELL HER
ABOUT GOING TO LUNCH.
I SAID, "WELL, I'M NOT SURE."
AND SO SHE,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"
AND I THOUGHT
SHE WAS REALLY SWEET.
IT WAS SUCH A NICE OFFER OF HER.
- WHAT WAS IT?
- WHAT WAS THE OFFER?
- OH, IT WAS, "DO YOU WANT ME
TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?"
- OH!
- OH!
- THANK YOU.
- DO YOU WANT A CHAIR?
- WHAT'S WRONG... WHAT DID I SAY?
- I SAID IT WAS
A VERY GENEROUS OFFER...
- YOU NEVER SAID THAT
TO ANYBODY ELSE HERE,
WHICH IS LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW TO BE OFFENDED
OR HAPPY...
IF YOU'RE GONNA BE TRYING TO GET
INTO LISA'S GOOD GRACES,
MAYBE SAY,
"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO LUNCH?
"I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU TO LUNCH.
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT
FOR TEA."
WHATEVER IT IS,
ANYTHING OTHER THAN... THAT.
NOT SAYING IT.
- CUNNILINGUS.
- OH, I HATE THAT WORD.
- WHAT MEANS CUNNILINGUS?
- CUNNILINGUS.
- EATING PUSSY.
- I MEAN...
- I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT WORD.
- REALLY? CUNNILINGUS.
- GALLI-WHAT?
- CUNNILINGUS. CUNNILINGUS.
- CUNNILINGUS.
- CUNNILINGUS, IT'S A...
- LIKE WHAT DAVID DOES TO YOU
EVERY NIGHT.
- CUNNILINGUS IS NOT AS BAD AS...
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE...
- GUESSING.
I'M HOPING FOR YOUR SAKE.
- I MISSED THAT PART.
- COONALINGUS?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE CHINESE TO ME.
IS IT A VEGETABLE?
IS IT...
A SPECIAL KIND OF MARTINI?
IS IT A CIGARETTE?
I MEAN, WHAT IS IT?
- CAN I SAY ONE THING?
WE HAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL SETTING
WITH THESE ROSES
AND FLOWERS AND THIS IS WHAT
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- PRETTY MUCH.
- IT'S... IT IS THE...
THE FLOWER OF ALL TIME.
- [laughing]
"IT'S THE FLOWER OF ALL TIME."
IT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT
AT A RESTAURANT, NECESSARILY,
LOUDLY.
YOU MIGHT SAY SOMETHING
TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SURE,
BUT YOU'RE GOING, "HEY, HEY!
I LIKE CUNNILINGUS!"
IT'S JUST... WHY?
- 5:30, I'M GONNA OPEN
THIS RESTAURANT...
- WE NEED TO LEAVE.
- AND AT 5:00, I HAVE TO DO...
- YOU WANT US TO GET OUT.
- I HAVE TO BE AT...
- SO SIT DOWN WITH US
FOR FIVE MINUTES.
- I CAN.
- HERE'S YOUR CHAIR.
- SIT.
- LET ME GET ONE FROM HERE.
- SHOULD WE... I THINK WE SHOULD
GO FOR A DRINK TOO.
LIKE THIS HALL OR SOMETHING.
LET'S GO
AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE.
BECAUSE SHE NEEDS
THE RESTAURANT,
SO WE SHOULD JUST GO
AND HAVE A DRINK.
- LET'S GO.
- I WOULD SAY WHEN A DAY
IS UNEVENTFUL WITH THESE WOMEN,
YOU COULD POSSIBLY
CALL IT A SUCCESS.
I MEAN, I GOT OFFERED
BRANDI'S SERVICES,
WHICH I TURNED DOWN,
AND I GOT TO POUR A BUCKET
OF WATER OVER YOLANDA.
I WOULD SAY "BINGO"
ON ALL FRONTS.
- SEEING YOU TOMORROW?
- I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- ALL RIGHT.
I THINK THAT LISA REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND
AGAIN,
BUT HER OWN PSYCHE
WON'T LET HER.
SHE MISSES ME.
- GREAT. GOOD JOB.
- CHECKMATE.
- THANK YOU, LISA.
- BYE, DARLING.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- HI, GIRLS.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. THANK YOU.
- SO CUTE.
I FORGOT HOW CUTE IT IS.
- I KNOW.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL HERE?
- OH, THAT'S PRETTY.
- I HAD FARRAH'S GRADUATION
HERE.
- OH, HOW PRETTY.
- OH.
IS THERE A REST...
CAN WE USE THIS RESTROOM?
- YEAH.
- I WANT A DRINK.
- DO AGREE.
- I NEED A COCKTAIL.
- LET'S HAVE ONE.
- I'M JUST GONNA GO
TO THE BATHROOM FIRST.
WHERE... DO YOU...
WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?
- I BELIEVE RIGHT THROUGH THERE.
- THROUGH THERE.
- AND THEN... YEAH.
- TO THE RIGHT?
- THE NEXT ROOM IN THE BACK
ON THE RIGHT.
- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING,
SINCE EVERYBODY'S NOT HERE.
I SENSE THIS...
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT WE'RE STUCK
BETWEEN BRANDI AND LISA...
- RIGHT.
- AND SHE WAS OFFERING HER
THE OLIVE BRANCH AND ALL THAT.
I MEAN, WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH ALL THAT?
'CAUSE I SENSED IT
AT YOUR BARBECUE TOO.
- OH, WELL,
THEY HAD A FALLING OUT.
- SHOULD I WAIT FOR THEM
TO COME BACK?
- THEY HAD A FALLING OUT, AND...
WHICH WE ALL KIND OF HAVE HAD
OUR ISSUES IN THE PAST...
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE HAD ISSUES
WITH HER TOO.
- I'VE HAD ISSUES WITH LISA
AS WELL.
- AND I... I HAVEN'T REALLY
BROUGHT IT UP EITHER, BUT...
- WE'VE ALL HAD OUR THINGS
WITH LISA,
AND LAST YEAR,
IT KIND OF ALL CAME TO A HEAD.
BRANDI SORT OF CALLED HER OUT
ON THESE THINGS
AND THEY HAD A FIGHT AND SO,
THEY HAVEN'T SPOKEN AT ALL
SINCE THEN.
- OH! SORRY.
WE'RE TRYING TO GET FILLED IN,
BECAUSE I NOTICED THAT AWKWARD
MOMENT WITH THE OLIVE BRANCH...
- YEAH.
- AND WE'RE LIKE...
- NOSY?
[laughter]
- YES.
- NOSY? YES.
- MY-MY EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESS
IS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS,
AND I ASKED HER NOT TO BRING
THIS PERSON AROUND ME
AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME,
AND SHE KEPT DOING IT,
AND I KIND OF FINALLY HAD...
I HAD A... I HAD A MOMENT.
I WAS LIKE, "NO MORE.
I'M NOT DOING IT."
both: OH.
- [laughs]
- COMING UP...
- WE ALL LOVE HER,
BUT WE'VE ALL MOVED ON FROM IT...
- WELL, LOVE IS A BIG WORD.
- IT'S A FOUR-LETTER WORD.
MUCH LIKE [bleep].
- MY-MY EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESS
IS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS,
AND I ASKED HER NOT TO BRING
THIS PERSON AROUND ME
AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME,
AND SHE KEPT DOING IT.
- HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR HAND?
- BEATING THE [bleep]
OUT OF A GUY.
- YOU'RE LUCKY SHE DIDN'T
BEAT THE [bleep] OUT OF YOU.
- AND I KIND OF FINALLY HAD...
I HAD A... I HAD A MOMENT.
I WAS LIKE, "NO MORE.
I'M NOT DOING IT."
both: OH.
- [laughs]
- WERE THERE ANY APOLOGIES
AFTER THAT?
I MEAN... - UM...
I DON'T... I DON'T THINK...
- I THINK IT WAS MORE OF
A DENIAL.
LIKE, IT WAS MORE LIKE,
"YES, YOU DID."
"NO, I DIDN'T."
- I MEAN, I'M SURE, YOU KNOW,
YOU FEEL THE SEPARATION.
- WELL, WE CAN SENSE IT.
- I ACTUALLY MENTIONED IT TO HER
THAT I FELT SOMETHING WEIRD
BETWEEN YOU AND LISA
THE OTHER NIGHT.
IT WAS VERY SUBTLE. - YEAH.
- AND I THOUGHT, "I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M IMAGINING THIS
OR WHATEVER,
BUT I'M SENSING SOMETHING."
- WELL, I WAS... I WAS JUST...
- AND THEN IT'S JUST KIND OF
BLOWN UP FROM THERE
WHEN I SAW THIS TODAY.
- YOU KNOW, THAT SHE, YOU KNOW,
HAS SUCH A BIG EVENT
WHERE SHE GETS A STAR
IN PALM SPRINGS
AND SHE DIDN'T INVITE US
AND SHE ONLY INVITED YOU.
TO ME, THAT HURT MY FEELINGS.
- SHE INVITED YOU?
- I WENT.
- YEAH.
- BUT SHE DIDN'T INVITE YOU.
- NO, SHE DIDN'T INVITE US.
- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT,
'CAUSE I WAS AWAY.
- EVERYONE'S FEELINGS
ARE VALID IN THIS SITUATION
BECAUSE I BELIEVE
WE FEEL WHAT WE FEEL.
WHETHER OR NOT LISA VANDERPUMP
HAS DONE CERTAIN THINGS,
I DON'T KNOW THAT,
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE IT.
- I KNOW THAT WE ALL HAVE
SEPARATE ISSUES,
BUT THE POINT IS THAT
WE CAN MOVE FORWARD
AND IT'S HARD,
BUT WE'RE GONNA DO THAT.
- WASN'T SHE TRYING TO DO THAT
BY INVITING EVERYBODY TODAY?
- I HOPE SO.
- WASN'T THAT KIND OF...
'CAUSE SHE SEEMED LOVELY
AND LIKE SHE WAS HANDLING
EVERYBODY NICELY.
THE OLIVE BRANCH
WAS A LITTLE ODD, BUT...
- YEAH.
- I MEAN, I'M JUST TRYING
TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.
- NO. AGREE.
- IT'S BABY-STEPS.
- EVERYTHING IS...
ANY LITTLE STEP LIKE THAT
IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT
DIRECTION.
ABSOLUTELY.
- I MEAN,
WE'RE ALL STRONG WOMEN.
WE ALL HAVE CHILDREN.
- WE'RE ALL EMPATHETIC.
I MEAN, WE SHOULD ALL BE ABLE
TO, LIKE, WORK THROUGH...
- YEAH, NO. NOT HAPPENING.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I GO, "EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO WORK"...
- THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET
ABOUT IT.
I'M ALWAYS LIKE, "WELL,
IF EVERYBODY JUST PUTS THE FACTS
ON THE TABLE..."
- I KNOW, AND THAT REALLY SUCKS.
- EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS
AND IT SHOULD ALL WORK OUT.
NOW THAT I'M LEARNING MORE ABOUT
THE RELATIONSHIPS
THAT ALL THE LADIES HAVE
WITH LISA,
I'M NOWHERE NEAR
KNOWING THE WHOLE STORY HERE.
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO JUDGE HER.
I DON'T LIKE TO JUDGE ANYBODY,
REALLY.
SO I MEAN, I HEAR IT,
AND UNLESS IT HAPPENS TO ME,
IT'S JUST NOT
PART OF MY REALITY.
- WE ALL LOVE HER, BUT WE'RE...
WE'VE ALL MOVED ON FROM IT...
- WELL, LOVE IS A BIG WORD.
- IT'S TRUE.
- IT'S A FOUR-LETTER WORD.
OKAY. MUCH LIKE [bleep].
- NO, I WOULDN'T...
WELL... - RIGHT?
- [laughs]
- DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MORE
CLEAR ON WHAT'S GOING ON
OR IS IT STILL SUPER CONFUSING?
- IT'S STILL SUPER CONFUSING.
- CHEERS, GIRLS.
- I KNOW.
- TO FRIENDSHIP.
- CHEERS.
- IT'LL BE CONFUSING
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
- YEAH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- SHE'S BACK, BABY.
SHE'S DANCING...
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA BE OKAY,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY,
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY,
YOU CAN COME HOME.
- WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?
- I WANT TO HAVE FUN
WITH YOU AGAIN.
- WELL, THEN YOU HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE.
- ARE YOU GONNA APOLOGIZE TO ME?
- WE WEREN'T HAPPY
IN OUR MARRIAGES
BECAUSE OF HOW WE FELT
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
- EILEEN TELLING THE ROMANTIC
STORY OF HER HOME WRECKING
SAT NOT GREAT WITH ME.
- OH!
- BRANDI!
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I'D LIKE TO TRY TO DO THINGS
THAT PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA THAT...
- YOU CAN DO IT.
- I CAN DO.
- RIGHT.
- TO STAY RELEVANT,
I REALLY HAVE HAD TO REINVENT
MYSELF OVER AND OVER
AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
- ARE YOU STILL DOING DAYS
AND THIS?
- UM, NO.
I JUST STARTED AIRING ON DAYS
YESTERDAY, THOUGH.
- DID YOU KILL ANYONE?
- NO. NOT YET.
BASICALLY,
I GET PAID TO PRETEND.
IT'S JUST CRAZY.
- I HEARD THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET
A STAR OR AN AWARD...
- YES.
- IN PALM SPRINGS.
- YES. COME WITH ME.
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN
THIS INCREDIBLE OCCASION
BY INVITING MY FRIENDS.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?
I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
- OH, IT WAS HOT.
IT WAS 120 DEGREES.
- THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR,
HONEY.
- THAT CAN GO IN THE GARAGE.
- WHAT IS THAT?
- MY STRIPPER POLE.
- [laughs]
- THERE'S A LOT WITH ME
THAT'S CHANGED.
JUST... I'M IN A DIFFERENT SPACE
RIGHT NOW.
I'M IN A HEAD SPACE
OF MOVING FORWARD.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, LISA?
IT'S BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
I WAS JUST CALLING TO SEE
IF YOU GOT MY SAVE THE DATE
FOR MY HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
- CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA GO
TO THAT.
- I'M DEFINITELY NOT GOING
TO THAT.
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
[upbeat music]
THROW ME TO THE WOLVES,
AND I SHALL RETURN
LEADING THE PACK.
- CHARACTER ISN'T WHAT YOU HAVE;
IT'S WHO YOU ARE.
- YOU'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT ME,
BUT IT'S ONLY TRUE
WHEN IT COMES FROM MY LIPS.
- I'M NOT A BITCH,
BUT I'VE PLAYED ONE ON TV.
- I'VE BEEN RICH,
AND I'VE BEEN FAMOUS,
BUT HAPPINESS BEATS THEM BOTH.
- I'D RATHER SPENDING MY LIFE
KICKING ASS THAN KISSING IT.
- PLANES AND YACHTS ARE NICE,
BUT MY HAPPINESS STARTS AT HOME.
- THESE ARE SO GORGEOUS.
- OH, I'M SO HAPPY...
- I LOVE THEM. THEY'RE GORGEOUS.
- RIGHT.
IT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR.
- IT'S STARTING
TO COME TOGETHER.
- RIGHT?
- I LOVE IT.
- EVERYTHING.
- HOW'S EVERYTHING? GOOD?
PERFECT. THANK YOU.
THIS HOUSEWARMING PARTY, FOR ME,
KIND OF, LIKE, MARKS
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
THIS IS THE GOOD PARTY
I'M THROWING,
AND FROM THERE ON,
IT'S GONNA BE POSITIVE.
WE'RE STARTING OUT WITH A BANG.
HOPEFULLY. [chuckles]
SO WE NEED TO MAKE THIS, LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW.
- ARE WE GONNA LEAVE THE CHAIRS
AROUND THE TABLE,
OR DO WE KNOW YET?
- ARE YOU GONNA DISPLAY
ALL THE ALCOHOL?
IS THAT HOW YOU DO IT?
- I-I... I HAVE... I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I KNOW TO DRINK.
- [chuckles]
- YEAH, I'M THE SAME WAY.
- WE KNOW THAT.
- DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BARTEND.
- MOM, CAN YOU UPLOAD
ALL THE GAMES?
- OH, YEAH, LET ME JUST DO THAT
RIGHT NOW.
- [giggles]
- I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, HONEY.
I'M GETTING READY, AND I GOT TO
GO PICK UP MY FRIEND LISA.
- YOUR FRIEND?
I KNOW YOUR FRIEND.
- NO. IT'S A DIFFERENT LISA.
NOT... LISA RINNA.
YOU'VE MET LISA RINNA TOO.
WELL, THERE'S TWO LISAS.
I'M GOING TO BRANDI'S TONIGHT.
- WHAT?
- YEAH, SHE'S HAVING A PARTY
AT HER NEW HOUSE.
THEY LIVE, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES
FROM HERE.
- HMM?
- YEP.
I'M HAPPY FOR BRANDI.
SHE'S INDEPENDENT NOW
AND SHE'S MOVED INTO
THIS BEAUTIFUL NEW HOME.
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR LISA TO BE
A LITTLE MORE OPEN-MINDED
AND GIVE BRANDI A CHANCE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, PORTIA?
I NEED A LITTLE FASHION ADVICE.
- WHO'S BETTER,
LISA RINNA OR LISA V?
- [chuckles] HERE WE GO.
- I WOULD THINK LISA RINNA.
- I PLEAD THE FIFTH.
- HI, WORKERS.
- AH.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- HI, KIRK.
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- HI, CHEF KIRK.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- I DON'T THINK WE NEED
THAT MANY MORE LIMES, MOM.
DO YOU THINK?
- NOT TOO MANY MORE.
- I THINK...
- I'M STARTING TO SHRIVEL.
- IT'S GOOD... IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
IT'S, LIKE, ALPHA...
THERE'S, LIKE, ACID IN IT.
SOMETHING GOES WRONG
AT THE PARTY,
MY PLAN IS TO BE
COMPLETELY WASTED
SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HEAR IT,
YOU DON'T SEE IT,
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
LIKE BLACK-OUT SEX.
- HELLO.
- OH, HELLO.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- FINE, KYLE.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HOW'S EVERYTHING?
- EVERYTHING'S PERFECT.
HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- VERY GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- [whispers]
BRANDI'S NOT QUITE READY.
- SURPRISE.
- SHE'S NOT.
- SURPRISE.
- HEY, GUYS?
WILL YOU GUYS GO OUT...
LIKE, I'M LATE.
WILL YOU GUYS GO OUT THERE
AND, LIKE, SOCIALIZE,
AND I'LL BE OUT IN FIVE MINUTES?
NO, SERIOUSLY,
LIKE, 'CAUSE I'M...
I'M STRESSING AND... STRESSING.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL BE OUT IN ONE MINUTE.
YOU KNOW, CINDERELLA WAS LATE
FOR THE BALL.
WAIT, OR DID SHE LEAVE EARLY?
ONE OF THE TWO.
I THINK EVERYONE
NEEDS TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.
HI! HI! - HELLO.
- HI!
- OH, MY GOD. HOW ARE YOU?
WOW. LOOK AT YOU. - I'M OKAY.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO, LIKE,
STICK MY BOOBS INTO MY DRESS
FOR AN HOUR.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- I'VE GOT SO MUCH TAPE ON.
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- THANK YOU. HI!
- HI.
- HI. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
- THANK YOU.
- YOUR HOME IS GORGEOUS.
- THANK YOU.
I JUST... WE JUST HAD...
- WE BROUGHT YOU A BUDDHA.
- THIS IS MY MOM. HI. OH, OKAY.
HI! NICE TO SEE YOU, HONEY.
BEING THE HOST IS... IS GREAT.
- HOW ARE YOU? LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK LIKE A ROCK AND ROLL.
- I THINK THAT IT'S GREAT
BECAUSE YOU CAN EXCUSE YOURSELF
FROM THE CONVERSATION WHEN
YOU DON'T WANT IT TO CONTINUE
BECAUSE YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE
THERE YOU HAVE TO BE HOSTESS TO.
HI! NICE TO SEE YOU.
OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SKINNY MINI.
- WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME.
- THANK YOU.
- WELCOME.
- WE'RE ON GIRL PATROL TONIGHT.
- IT'S ALL GOOD.
- I RELATE TO BRANDI
ON THE LEVEL
THAT SHE IS A GIRL THAT KNOWS
THAT SHE'S GOT TO GO OUT THERE
AND MAKE IT HAPPEN,
AND SHE'LL DO WHAT SHE HAS TO DO
TO GET WHAT SHE NEEDS.
- IS LISA COMING?
- I DON'T THINK SHE IS.
UM...
SHE SAID SHE WASN'T
AT YOUR HOUSE.
- WELL, YOU'RE COMING TO THE...
TO TO THE HOUSEWARMING.
- I PROBABLY WON'T BE THERE.
WE'VE GOT A LITTLE WAY TO GO
BEFORE I'M GONNA BE WARMING
HER HOUSE FOR HER
OR HER SLIPPERS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
- CHEERS.
- CHEERS. SO...
- CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR HOME.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- AND THIS WINE TASTES SO GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
I-I REALLY LOVE THIS HOUSE.
I DO.
I'M LIKE, HOPE THEY...
I CAN KEEP IT.
I'M JUST FOCUSING ON MAKING
A REALLY LOVELY, WONDERFUL LIFE
FOR MY KIDS,
AND WE COULD LIVE
IN AN APARTMENT AND BE HAPPY,
BUT MAMA WANTED TO HAVE A NICE,
LITTLE PAD FOR THESE BOYS.
- I LOVE IT.
I THINK THERE'S
A REALLY GOOD VIBE IN HERE.
- THANK YOU.
I'M SO GLAD MY PARENTS ARE HERE
TOO.
- MY BOYFRIEND! GUY!
[laughter] HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. YOU LOOK PRETTY.
- LOOK. YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
- OH, WELL,
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.
- IS THIS YOUR L.A. OUTFIT?
- DID YOU JUST
HAVE THAT SPRAYED ON?
- YES.
- [laughs]
- AND SHE'S GOT GOOD BOOBS.
- OH, THANKS.
I DON'T THINK YOUR DAD WAS
INTERESTED IN MY BOOBS...
- OH, FOR SURE HE IS. [laughs]
- NO, HE'S NOT.
- EVERYONE IS.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I LOOKED AT,
SO...
- NO.
- I'M KIDDING, DAD.
- YEAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, I'M GOOD.
- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- THANK YOU.
- ARE YOU PROUD OF HER?
- I'M PROUD OF HER.
- YES.
- SHE'S TALLER THAN ME NOW, TOO,
SO I GOT TO BE REAL CAREFUL
WHAT I SAY.
- BUT YOU KNOW,
THIS IS A REALLY BIG THING
FOR A SINGLE MOM.
- WHEN MY DAD SAYS
HE'S REALLY PROUD OF ME,
IT MEANS A LOT BECAUSE
WE'VE REALLY BEEN THROUGH IT
THE PAST COUPLE YEARS.
I LOVE YOU. - I KNOW YOU DO.
LET'S... LET'S JUST CUT IT
RIGHT THERE.
- HE'S A TOUGH GUY.
HE DOESN'T SAY
THAT KIND OF STUFF.
SO IT'S VERY SWEET.
- HOW ARE YOU?
I'M SO GLAD YOU HAD...
OKAY, GOOD VIBES,
BEAUTIFUL ENERGY...
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE HAPPY, AND YOU'RE HOME.
- I'M HAPPY.
- YOU'RE HOME.
- EVERYBODY'S HERE.
- YES.
- FRIENDS, FANS, FRENEMIES,
EVERYBODY.
- NO, NO,
JUST FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
- THE DOORBELL?
[doorbell chimes loudly]
- EVERYONE'S HERE, SO...
ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVE.
- LISA'S HERE.
- TEXT HIM THE ADDRESS.
- OH, MY GOD. SHE CAME.
- I'M SURPRISED.
- THERE'S NO... OH!
YOU MADE IT! YOU MADE IT!
- TWO SIGHTINGS IN ONE WEEK.
- AH!
- I CHANGED MY MIND.
DECIDED TO COME.
- OH, THANK YOU!
- DON'T PINCH ME.
- OH, CAN I KISS YOU?
- THAT MEANS SHE'S MOVING ON.
THAT'S... NO? - YEAH. I THINK SO.
THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
- UM, I WISH YOU...
- GOOD LUCK?
- HAPPINESS... [laughter]
IN YOUR NEW HOUSE.
- THANK YOU!
I'M ACTUALLY CONFUSED
AT LISA SHOWING UP TONIGHT,
BECAUSE WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU
MORE THAN ONE TIME
THAT THEY'RE NOT COMING
TO YOUR PARTY,
YOU TEND TO BELIEVE THEM.
- YOU KNOW LEEZA?
- VERY WELL.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. VERY WELL.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HI! I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- THANK YOU.
- HOW FUNNY THAT...
- JUST FOR NOW, MY DEAR.
- GO FIGURE, RIGHT? OKAY.
- LEEZA,
YOU HAVE TO MEET MY DAD.
LEEZA... I MEAN, LISA. LEEZA.
- THANK YOU.
- THIS IS GUY GLANVILLE, MY DAD.
- HELLO.
- LISA.
- WELL, I'VE HEARD A LOT
ABOUT YOU.
- VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
- THIS IS KEN, HER HUSBAND.
- WE JUST MET.
- OH, NICE.
- WE MEET AGAIN.
- I'M SUPER HAPPY THAT YOU CAME.
I DID NOT THINK YOU WERE COMING.
- I WASN'T.
- OKAY.
- WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?
- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- SHE LOVES ME.
- NO, SHE DOESN'T.
- YES, SHE DOES.
- NO.
I JUST THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT?"
- YOU DO.
- NO, I DON'T. NO, I DON'T.
- YOU DO.
- OH, NO, NO.
- COMING UP...
- SHE WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS
IN A HEARTBEAT,
AND SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT...
- WELL YOU KNOW...
- FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS.
- I BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
- I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME BY
AND WISH YOU WELL,
'CAUSE I DO WISH YOU WELL.
- THANK YOU.
I WISH YOU WELL TOO.
- LIFE IS VERY SHORT...
- IT IS.
- AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
A SECOND OF IT.
- NO, AND I DON'T WANT
TO BE NEGATIVE
AND GO BACKWARDS, EITHER,
AND I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.
SO HOPEFULLY, WE CAN,
AT SOME POINT,
FIGURE OUT SOMETHING
AND MOVE FORWARD.
- DO YOU, BRANDI?
- I DO.
- I KNOW BY ME NOT GOING
TO BRANDI'S HOUSEWARMING
I'M FEEDING INTO THE NEGATIVITY.
THERE'LL BE MORE SPECULATION,
BUT BY ME SHOWING UP
AND PUTTING A BOTTLE
OF CHAMPAGNE IN HER HAND,
IT'S DONE.
I NIP IT IN THE BUD.
- CONGRATULATIONS...
- [gasps]
- ON YOUR DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE.
- OH, MY GOD.
YOUR DAUGHTER GOT MARRIED?
- WAS IT JUST SO AMAZING?
YOU'RE GLOWING FROM IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU'RE THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE.
- AM I?
- YEAH. OH, TOTALLY.
- I-I... YES.
- I NOW DECLARE
THAYER AND BROOKE
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
PLEASE SHARE A KISS.
[cheers and applause]
- KIM SEEMS SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
WOW, SHE HAS COME A LONG WAY,
AND I LOVE SEEING THAT.
- HE'S JUST AMAZING.
- THAT'S... WHAT A WONDERFUL,
WONDERFUL MOMENT.
- YEAH.
- OH! HONEY!
- THAT'S SO FUNNY...
- OH, HI!
I TOLD HIM TODAY... I TOLD THEM
BOTH YOU WEREN'T COMING.
- WELL, WE NEARLY DIDN'T,
AND THEN I CHANGED MY MIND,
AND I WAS ON THE WAY
TO PUMP WHEN I THOUGHT,
"[bleep] IT."
- OH, NICE.
- AND I'M GONNA COME
IN YOUR LANGUAGE.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YEP.
- THANK YOU.
- AND THEN I THOUGHT
I'LL COME AND WISH YOU WELL.
- [laughs]
- SHE LOVES YOU.
- I KNOW. I LOVE YOU.
- WELL, SHE'S GOT A FUNNY WAY
OF SHOWING IT,
BUT WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER.
- WELL, I'M... CAN I...
I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS.
- OH.
- [laughs]
- I DON'T NEED A SPANKING
OR A LECTURE OR A TIME-OUT.
[laughter]
- MAYBE WE'LL HAVE LUNCH.
- [laughs]
- I'M VERY SENSITIVE
AND VERY TEMPERAMENTAL.
- OKAY, GOOD.
WE'LL LEAVE THAT ONE ALONE THEN.
- OKAY.
- WE LEARNED THAT ALREADY.
- YEAH, JUST A LITTLE BIT.
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA... I'M GONNA GO
SOCIALIZE AT THIS POINT.
- OH, THIS IS FANTASTIC.
NOW, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
- NO, I MEAN,
SHE'S JUST ALWAYS SO MOUTHY,
AND SHE'LL HURT YOUR FEELINGS
IN A HEARTBEAT...
- VERY WILLFUL. VERY WILLFUL.
- AND SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT...
- WELL, YOU KNOW...
- FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS
AND...
- I BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO...
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT CRITICIZING
YOUR DAUGHTER.
IT'S LIKE IF SOMEBODY
CRITICIZED MINE,
I WOULD SLAP THEM, PROBABLY.
SO I'M NOT GOING TO GO THERE.
- I KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT PERFECT,
BUT I LOVE HER ANYWAY.
- OH, AND... OH, MY GOSH!
YOU LOOK FABULOUS, AS ALWAYS.
- HOW ARE YOU, HONEY?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- ALL THESE SURPRISE GUESTS...
I MEAN, LISA VANDERPUMP,
ADRIENNE.
WHO'S NEXT, EDDIE AND LEANN?
- SURPRISE.
- OH.
- AH! [gasps]
- [chuckles]
- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
- HI. YES.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU'RE LOOKING FABULOUS,
AS ALWAYS.
- OH, MY GOD. YOU TOO.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU SMELL AMAZING.
- THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, JAKE.
- HI.
I THINK WE MET ONCE.
- BRANDI. YOU KNOW HIM.
- ADRIENNE'S BOY-TOY, JAKE,
IS SUPER CUTE,
AND I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO GET
DICK-MATIZED BY YOUNG BOYS TOO.
- I HAVE 150
FOR WHOEVER HAS THE BEST ABS.
AN EXTRA $150.
- WHAT DOES IT SAY?
- OH, IT'S THE WHOLE STATE?
- MY MOM TAUGHT ME
NOT TO GET TATTOOS.
- ME TOO!
OH, MY GOD.
WE SHOULD TOTALLY HANG OUT.
AT LEAST WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOSH. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
LOOKING FANTASTIC.
- I'M NOT JUST PROUD OF MYSELF
FOR WORKING THINGS OUT
WITH ADRIENNE.
I'M PROUD OF ADRIENNE TOO.
I MEAN, IT TOOK A LOT
FOR BOTH OF US
TO GET TO THIS SPOT.
- BY THE WAY...
- OH, MY GOD!
- WE HAD A BET!
- I HAVE THE PROOF RIGHT HERE.
- WHAT?
- WAIT A SECOND.
- OH, NO.
- I BRING MY PROOF.
WE HAD A BET. WE HAD A BET.
- WE DID.
- BY THE WAY,
OBSESSED WITH DAYS OF OUR LIVES
FOR A LONG TIME.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO, I REALLY...
I KNOW THAT LISA RINNA,
SHE CAME ON AS BILLIE.
I HAD TO STOP WATCHING, 'CAUSE
SHE WASN'T THE REAL BILLIE,
'CAUSE THE REAL BILLIE
WENT AWAY.
- I THOUGHT SHE WAS
THE REAL BILLIE.
- MM-MM. I THINK YOU'RE WRONG.
- I WAS THERE.
- I'M GONNA LOOK IT UP
WHEN I GET HOME.
- WAIT, WE GOT TO PUT SOME MONEY
ON IT.
- YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE...
I THOUGHT SHE WAS
THE SECOND BILLIE.
- NO, SHE WAS THE ORIGINAL
BILLIE.
- I WAS NUMBER ONE. YEAH.
- WERE YOU ON THAT SHOW TOO?
- NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SHE WAS HUGE ON THAT SHOW.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I REMEMBERED BOTH OF THEM...
- WHEN SHE FIRST
CAME ON THE SCENE...
- AND MAYBE YOU LIKE
THE SECOND BILLIE BETTER.
- MAYBE THAT'S TRUE.
- OBVIOUSLY, I WAS RIGHT.
I ACTUALLY WAS THERE.
- [gasps] HI!
- OH! HI!
- LISA, IT'S ASS.
- HELLO... OH, GOD.
- LIPS AND ASS.
- ASS AND LIPS.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
- I LIKE MY LIPS.
IF YOU DON'T THINK OF LIPS
WHEN YOU THINK OF LISA RINNA,
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
RIGHT?
- HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW PLACE?
- I LOVE IT.
- IT'S FANTASTIC, RIGHT?
- I LOVE THIS PLACE.
- OH, AMAZING.
- ARE YOU FREE ON WEDNESDAY?
- UH-HUH.
- WE'RE JUST DOING
A VERY SMALL EVENT
FOR GIRLS IN FOSTER CARE,
AND EVERYBODY JUST KIND OF
BRINGS A COUPLE OF THINGS
OUT OF THEIR CLOSET.
- LIKE, SOMETHING DRESSY
THAT YOU CAN GO OUT IN?
- YEAH. I THINK SO.
- NOW, HOW OLD ARE THESE GIRLS?
- THEY'RE LIKE 16 AND UPWARDS.
15, 16 AND UPWARDS, YOU KNOW.
THE CHARITY EVENT IS FOR
YOUNG WOMEN IN FOSTER CARE.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT'S QUITE CLOSE TO MY HEART
BECAUSE MAX WAS ADOPTED
FROM FOSTER CARE,
AND I KNOW THAT
HAD HE NOT BEEN WITH US,
MAYBE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN
ONE OF THESE KIDS.
IT'S NO WORK FOR ME AT ALL...
THROW TOGETHER A TEA
AND INVITE EVERYBODY AND PULL
SOME THINGS OUT OF MY CLOSET.
IT'S REALLY KIND OF, YOU KNOW,
EASY FOR ME TO DO THAT.
- SO FUN.
- THINGS GOT A LITTLE VOLATILE
AT MY CHARITY EVENT LAST YEAR.
- IF I WAS A BULLY, I WOULD HAVE
KNOCKED YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT
BY NOW.
- OH.
IF BRANDI SHOW UP
AND SHE BRINGS A FEW DRESSES
AND SHE CONTRIBUTES
TO THE CAUSE,
I CAN PUT UP WITH HER
BULL[bleep] FOR A MINUTE.
- HELLO.
- GIVE ME A COUPLE GLASSES...
- I JUST WANT TO SAY,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU,
AND...
OH, I LOVE YOU.
AND THIS HOME IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
THE VIBE THAT... IS SO AMAZING.
YOU AND YOUR BOYS
DESERVE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOME.
- I JUST NEVER REALLY THOUGHT
IN A MILLION YEARS
THIS WOULD BE MY LIFE.
IT'S GREAT!
- BEING A SINGLE MOM
AND GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE
IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING
A WOMAN CAN EVER GO THROUGH.
- I'M VERY HAPPY TO HAVE
GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU BETTER
AND TO LIKE THE PERSON
THAT I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW.
- JUST GOOD LUCK TO YOU
IN THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
- AW.
[applause]
- TOAST TO BRANDI? NO, NOT YET.
I'M HERE.
I BROUGHT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
THAT'S AS GOOD
AS IT'S GONNA GET.
BYE, DARLING.
- BYE. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
IT MEANS A LOT.
YOU ALWAYS... YOU ALWAYS
HOLD ME BACK LIKE THIS.
- I DO?
- YEAH.
- THAT'S ME. THAT'S NOT YOU.
- BUT NOT ALWAYS.
YOU USED TO NOT. - OKAY, WELL...
- THANK YOU FOR COMING, THOUGH.
- OKAY.
- I MEAN IT.
- I-I'M GLAD I DID.
- ARE YOU?
- YES.
DON'T QUESTION IT
AND GET OFF MY ASS.
BYE, BYE, DADDY.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- I HOPE HAVE...
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- PARDON?
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- WHO?
- MAKE EYE CONTACT.
- IN MY IDEAL WORLD,
I'D PREFER EVERYBODY TO GET ON,
AND FOR ME TO HAVE THIS
EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT FROM BRANDY
WHICH DOESN'T GIVE HER
THE POWER TO HURT ME,
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
I COULD DEAL WITH HER.
OKAY.
SEE? ALL GOOD.
- WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED WITH LISA?
WHAT-WHAT'D SHE SAY?
AND WHAT'D YOU DO?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT GONNA, LIKE,
FORCE SOMEONE TO COME HERE
IF THEY DON'T WANT TO,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
I'M GLAD SHE CAME.
I WAS GLAD TO SEE HER.
KEN STILL WILL NOT
MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME.
SO IT IS WHAT IT IS.
I CARE ABOUT HER, BUT I WANT...
I LOVE MY LIFE NOW.
I'M AN INDIVIDUAL.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH YOU.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH KIM.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH YOLANDA,
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GETTING
TO THAT NEXT LEVEL WITH HER,
LIKE, WHERE I ACTUALLY KNOW HER.
HI, LOVEY. - HI, IS THIS A...
- HI.
- IS THIS A PRIVATE
CONVERSATION?
- NO. NOT AT ALL.
- NO.
- NO, WE'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT
HOW LISA SHOWED UP TONIGHT.
- I'M GLAD SHE DID.
- OH, NO. I'M GLAD SHE CAME.
- WAS SHE FRIENDLY?
EVERYTHING WAS GOOD?
- OH, YEAH.
- EVERYTHING WAS...
I DIDN'T CATCH...
AND SHE WAS VERY NICE TO EVERY...
BUT I THINK IT WENT...
- IT WAS GREAT.
- LISA AND I, EVEN THOUGH WE'RE
MAKING, YOU KNOW, PROGRESS,
WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY
SAT DOWN ONE-ON-ONE
AND TALKED ABOUT WHAT OUR ISSUES
ARE WITH EACH OTHER,
AND I THINK IT REALLY HAS
TO BE DONE
IN ORDER TO GET RESOLUTION.
SHE'S EXTREMELY SENSITIVE.
I DON'T... I DON'T WANT TO SPEND...
- WE'RE ALL SENSITIVE.
- OF COURSE WE ARE,
BUT THE POINT IS,
IF YOU AND I CAN MOVE PAST IT,
IF WE CAN ALL MOVE FORWARD...
- NO.
- COMING UP...
[cheer and applause]
- LISA, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- ANTHONY, HI.
- HI, WELCOME BACK.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
- OH, MY GOSH.
WE ARE SO EXCITED.
THANKS FOR GETTING UP EARLY.
- I LOVE BEING HERE.
- HERE'S A COUPLE THINGS
FOR YOU TO LOOK AT.
BUT LET'S GET YOU
TO HAIR AND MAKEUP NOW.
- OKAY. GREAT.
- ALL RIGHT?
RIGHT THIS WAY.
YOU REMEMBER YOUR WAY
AROUND HERE.
- UM, KIND OF, YEAH.
OF COURSE I DO.
- IT IS A MAZE.
- FOR ME, IT'S KEY...
YOU HAVE TO REMAIN RELEVANT.
YOU HAVE TO BE OUT THERE.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING
GOING ON,
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T
IN THIS BUSINESS,
PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT YOU
IN FIVE SECONDS.
OH, IN HERE, OF COURSE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, WE MOVED DOWN HERE.
- WE DID.
- HI.
- SO I THINK
WE'RE GONNA GO MIDDLE?
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- HI. I'M LISA.
- HEY, LISA. I'M CHRIS.
- HI, CHRIS.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
I HAVE COHOSTED AND FILLED IN
ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD NOW...
GOSH, OFF AND ON FOR PROBABLY
AS LONG AS IT'S BEEN ON.
OH, THERE'S KIT.
LET ME GO SAY HI.
THE THING ABOUT LIVE TELEVISION
IS, IT'S LIVE.
YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK
WHAT YOU'VE SAID.
YOU CAN'T PREPARE.
YOU CAN'T REALLY PLAN.
[laughs] I LOVE THOSE PATCHES.
- CAN WE GET YOU SOME?
DO WE HAVE ANY EXTRA?
- DO YOU HAVE ANY EXTRA?
NO ONE CAN CONTROL YOU.
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
NO ONE CAN CONTROL ME.
- DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THIS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE?
- YES.
- HAVE YOU DONE IT?
- NO, BUT I WANT TO.
- OKAY, SO GOOD.
SO MAYBE THESE BOYS
WILL NOMINATE YOU.
- 20 MINUTES TO AIR. 20 MINUTES.
- I DON'T CARE IF
YOU'RE IN THIS BUSINESS OR NOT,
THE PRESSURE IS THAT YOU HAVE TO
LOOK LIKE A 20-YEAR-OLD FOREVER.
I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE
THAT I STAY LOOKING FRESH
AS A [bleep] DAISY.
[laughs]
- SHAKE IT OUT.
- THERE WE GO.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- HEY.
I WORE THE CHEAPEST GLASSES THAT
I OWN JUST IN CASE I LOSE THEM.
- THAT'S GOOD. JUST IN CASE.
- SO WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT I'M
GONNA ACTUALLY GO IN THE WATER?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? - 50/50.
- BEING AN ACTRESS, I DO FEEL,
YOU KNOW,
THE NEED TO AT LEAST
KEEP IT UP...
KEEP THE APPEARANCE UP, BECAUSE
I MEAN, THAT IS PART OF MY JOB.
DON'T LAUGH AT ME
IF I FALL ON MY ASS.
- YOU WON'T BE FALLING DOWN
AT ALL.
- I'M DEFINITELY PASSIONATE
ABOUT WORKING OUT.
IT'S SOMETHING
THAT I REALLY ENJOY DOING.
UM...
[sighs] IS THAT TRUE?
- HOW IS THAT?
- IT'S LIKE HOLDING
A GARAGE DOOR, ACTUALLY.
- HERE WE GO. I KNOW. IT IS.
- SOMETIMES, I'D RATHER BE
EATING A DOUGHNUT
THAN WORKING OUT,
BUT I'VE BEEN KNOWN
TO DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.
[laughs]
[sighs] I'M NOT KIDDING.
I ACTUALLY HAVE.
- KEEP IT POINTING STRAIGHT.
THEN WE'RE GONNA STAND UP.
AND YOU KEEP YOUR KNEES BENT.
JUST A SLIGHT BEND IN THAT
KNEE... OF THE KNEES.
- AH!
- AND JUST...
YOU WANT TO START PADDLING.
ONCE YOU'RE STANDING STILL,
YOU COULD BE...
YOU CAN FALL.
SO YOU WANT TO HAVE
THAT MOVEMENT OF...
GOOD.
- IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY
RELEVANT IN HOLLYWOOD
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE HIRED,
AND TO BE HIRED,
YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEWHAT,
YOU KNOW, CURRENT AND IMPORTANT,
"WHATEVER THAT MEANS"
TO "WHOMEVER THAT MEANS."
- HOPEFULLY,
THERE'S NO SHARKS HANGING OUT...
- YOU KNOW,
SHARKS DON'T USUALLY SCARE ME,
BUT THERE'S BEEN
SO MANY SIGHTINGS LATELY.
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T REALLY LIKE
THE PUBLICITY ROUTE,
BUT I KNOW THAT IT WORKS
FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
FOR ME, I JUST ALWAYS WANT TO
JUST KEEP DOING MY CRAFT.
AS AN ACTOR,
THAT'S BEEN MY BREAD AND BUTTER.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I DO.
- WATCH OUT.
- AH!
THAT WAS NOT A PRETTY DISMOUNT.
- THREE, TWO...
- TODAY ON
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD LIVE,
LOOK WHO I HAVE.
LISA RINNA IS HERE. - HI.
- YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
- YOU BETCHA, BABY.
YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT A.L.S...
THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE?
- I TOOK IT.
- YOU DID IT?
- YEAH.
- AND EVERYONE FROM J.T.
TO MARTHA STEWART,
THEY'RE DUMPING COLD WATER
ON THEMSELVES.
- WOW.
- I LOVE THIS.
- WE'RE GONNA CHALLENGE
TWO STARS RIGHT HERE
TO DO IT LIVE
ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD LIVE,
WHICH STARTS RIGHT NOW.
HI, SWEETIE, I LOVE...
- DID WE PLAN
OUR LITTLE MATCHING...
- LOOK AT THIS. WE DID.
- PLEATHER?
- WHAT IS IT,
THE LEATHER SHIFT DRESS DAY.
- LOOKING GOOD.
- WEAR LEATHER TO WORK DAY.
- I LOVE THAT I'M A CELEBRITY
OR THAT I'M FAMOUS
OR THAT I'M KNOWN.
WE WORK FOR THAT.
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LISA
TAKING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE
AFTER THESE MESSAGES.
- NOW THEY GO,
"I THINK SHE'S TOO FAMOUS.
"I THINK SHE'S TOO WELL-KNOWN.
WE NEED TO GO WITH SOMEBODY
THAT'S UNKNOWN."
AND YOU'RE LIKE,
"WHAT THE [bleep]?
"I WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE
TO BECOME KNOWN
AND NOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA HIRE ME
BECAUSE I'M TOO KNOWN?"
THAT PISSES ME OFF.
- AND GO!
- HEY!
- WHOO!
[cheers and applause]
- WHOO!
- THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
YOUR SISTER'S EVER MADE HERSELF
A SANDWICH.
- THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING.
- PORTIA, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE MAKING YOUR OWN SANDWICH.
YOU CAN START COOKING DINNER
FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
- WELL, THE GOOD THING ABOUT
THIS IS THAT
NEXT TIME SHE ASKS US
TO MAKE HER A SANDWICH,
WE CAN JUST TELL HER TO
GO MAKE IT HERSELF.
- SPEAKING OF MAKING
YOUR OWN FOOD AND STUFF,
I NEED TO TEACH YOU SOME OF THAT
STUFF BEFORE YOU GO TO SCHOOL,
BY THE WAY.
- I KNOW. YOU DO.
- AND ALSO HAVE TO TEACH YOU HOW
TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY
- THAT I DO NEED TO LEARN.
- ALEXIA'S LEAVING
FOR COLLEGE SOON,
AND I FEEL LIKE
I PREPARED MY KIDS
FOR A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE.
LAUNDRY IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
- YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO LAUNDRY?
- DO YOU?
- HONEY, I KNOW...
I MEAN,
I KNOW HOW TO DO LAUNDRY.
- [laughs]
MAURICIO DOESN'T KNOW HOW
TO DO ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE,
WHETHER IT'S LAUNDRY,
CHANGE A LIGHTBULB,
MAKE A SANDWICH.
- I DON'T REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME I DID...
- DON'T ACT ALL JUDGMENTAL.
"YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY?"
- HAVE YOU EVER DONE LAUNDRY?
- IN MY LIFE?
- AH!
- OR IN THE LAST...
- LISTEN TO DAD
SWEATING BULLETS HERE.
- OR THE LAST...
- LOOK AT HIM.
OH, HIS LITTLE, RED CHEEKS.
- OR THE LAST 20 YEARS?
- IF HE WANTS A SANDWICH,
HE'LL SAY TO ME,
"OH, I REALLY WANT A SANDWICH.
WHERE'S THE TURKEY?"
IT'S IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
HONEY, BELIEVE ME,
I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS.
YOU'VE NEVER DONE LAUNDRY
IN YOUR LIFE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK IT IS?
- YOU'RE OFF.
- I'M OFF.
- GOING OUT?
- ARE YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT
WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
- HONEY...
- I'M ACTUALLY JUST GOING
TO SHELBY'S HOUSE
FOR A BARBECUE FOR A LITTLE BIT.
- OOH.
- FIVE MINUTES AWAY.
- MUAH.
- BYE, MOM.
VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.
- MUAH.
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU GUYS.
- THIS IS HOW WE'RE GONNA BE
EVERY NIGHT PRETTY SOON,
WITH ONLY PORTIA AND YOU AND ME.
- I KNOW.
- I THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT
ALEXIA IS ONE YEAR
YOUNGER THAN I WAS
WHEN I HAD FARRAH.
ALL MY FRIENDS WERE GOING OFF
TO COLLEGE,
GOING TO THEIR SORORITIES,
AND I WAS HOME, NURSING A BABY.
- WE'VE GONE FROM SIX TO THREE.
- WHO'S...
YOU MEAN A FAMILY OF SIX.
- A FAMILY OF SIX
TO A FAMILY OF THREE.
- OKAY, WE'RE JUMPING THE GUN.
THEY'RE STILL AT HOME.
- [laughs]
- BUT IT DOES FEEL LIKE THAT.
- IT'S CRAZY, THOUGH, HUH?
- PORTIA,
WANT TO GO OUT TO DINNER,
JUST YOUR DAD, YOU,
AND ME, AFTER YOUR SANDWICH?
- OKAY.
I'M MAKING POO, BY THE WAY.
MOM, WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- OKAY.
- COULD WE PUFF THIS UP
A BIT MORE?
- YEAH, I'M GONNA PUT
SOME MORE THINGS...
- WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT?
- I'VE GOT AN ASSORTMENT
OF OUR MANY DESSERTS.
- OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA PUT
ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA IN HERE.
OKAY? HOT WATER.
THEN WE'RE GONNA PUT MINT
AND CHAMOMILE,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO PUT
EXTRA HOT WATER IN HERE.
ARE WE OKAY?
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE NEVER
POURED A CUP OF TEA BEFORE.
YOU HAVEN'T, HAVE YOU?
- NO, I HAVEN'T.
- HAVE YOU?
OKAY, WELL, THIS IS YOUR JOB.
[laughter] OKAY, YOU'RE HERE.
BUT THESE WILL NEED TIME...
- HELLO.
- HEY. OH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
- THANK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- YEAH. OF COURSE.
- OH, HELLO.
I LOVE YOU FOR COMING.
THANK YOU.
- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
- OH, YOU.
- HI, MY GORGEOUS!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I MISSED YOU!
- SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, GORGEOUS.
- OH, YOU LOVELY THING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- GOWNS.
- OH, THAT'S GONNA LOOK GREAT
ON ME.
THANK YOU.
- I AM ASKED TO GO
TO MANY CHARITY FUNCTIONS,
AND I TRY TO GO TO AS MANY
AS I POSSIBLY CAN.
I THINK AS A CELEBRITY,
IT'S A DUTY.
IF IT'S A FRIEND,
I'LL ALWAYS SHOW UP.
100%.
- THANK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
- I'M DOING WELL. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- CAN I OFFER YOU SOME TEA?
- [gasps] SURE. I'D LOVE SOME.
- WE HAVE BREAKFAST, CHAMOMILE,
OR A ZEN TEA, IT'S A MINT.
- I'LL HAVE A ZEN TEA.
- OKAY.
- I NEED ZEN TEA.
- THEY LOOK...
- WELL, A LOT OF THEM...
- WOW!
- THEY GOT A LOT OF PROM THINGS
LAST YEAR.
- OH, I...
- SO THEY NEED A BIT OF...
- GOOD SELECTION OF SHORT ONES
TOO.
- GREAT SELECTION.
- THESE ALL...
THESE ARE GOING, RIGHT HERE?
- IT'S REALLY GREAT.
- [gasps] HI, GORGEOUS.
- HELLO!
HOW ARE YOU?
- MUAH.
- YOU LOOK LOVELY.
- AS DO YOU.
- AND THIS IS AMAZING.
LIKE, NAVY BLUE
IS MY FAVORITE COLOR.
- WELL, YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE,
HAVEN'T YOU?
- NEVER BEEN HERE.
- OH, YOU HAVEN'T?
- THIS IS SO UP OUR ALLEY.
JUST THE DECOR, THE WHOLE THING.
- THESE PIECES. YEAH.
- YEAH, THE CHANDELIERS
AND, LIKE, THE BAR.
- IT'S VERY ECLECTIC.
- YES.
- I HAVE VERY ECLECTIC TASTE.
VERY.
LISA VANDERPUMP HAS GREAT STYLE.
SHE'S VERY BEVERLY HILLS WITH...
A TWIST.
- HELLO.
- THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
- OH, I FORGOT
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE.
- NO. I-I HAVEN'T.
- IT'S NOT NORMALLY OPEN
IN THE DAY.
- BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME.
THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE.
- STOP. STOP.
- IT'S TRUE.
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I'M HAPPY TO FINALLY SEE IT.
I WISH SHE WOULD HAVE SENT US
AN INVITATION.
- FEELS LIKE YOU'RE TRANSPORTED
SOMEWHERE IN PROVENCE
OR SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE.
I MEAN, IT'S GOT 100-YEAR-OLD
OLIVE TREES.
I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
- IF YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT EVENT
IN YOUR LIFE,
FRIENDS SHOULD BE THERE.
I MEAN, IF YOU SAY
I'M YOUR FRIEND,
THEN INVITE ME TO THESE
IMPORTANT, YOU KNOW,
CELEBRATIONS IN YOUR LIFE.
- HELLO.
- HELLO!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- SO CUTE.
- THANK YOU. SO DO YOU.
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- HI, MY FRIENDS.
- HI.
- HI.
- REALLY NICE TO SEE YOU.
NICE TO SEE EVERYONE.
HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HELLO. CUTE!
HELLO.
- LOOKS BEAUTIFUL IN HERE,
OF COURSE.
- THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- I GOT SOME STUFF
FROM THE STORE, TOO,
BECAUSE I DIDN'T...
- OKAY.
THANK YOU.
- I ONLY GOT THREE, BUT...
- NO, ANYTHING YOU GIVE ME
IS FANTASTIC.
THEY WERE THRILLED LAST YEAR.
- OH, GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
WILL YOU TAKE...
CAN YOU TAKE THAT?
- IT'S ALL I HAVE.
- NO, NO, THAT'S AMAZING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S GREAT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- NICE.
- BUT IT'S GOOD. YES.
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR COMING
TO THE HOUSEWARMING.
MY PARENTS WERE REALLY HAPPY
TO CATCH UP WITH YOU.
- THEY WERE VERY SWEET,
ACTUALLY.
- MY PARENTS ARE VERY NICE.
- I KNOW.
- HOW DID THEY HAVE ME?
- I WAS TRYING
TO FIGURE THAT OUT.
- I KNOW.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE THE
NEXT THING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
- NO, NO. WELL, IT WILL BE.
I WAS GONNA WAIT A WHILE.
- RIGHT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
BUT THEY WERE VERY SWEET.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME.
THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY NICE
TO SEE EVERYONE, SO...
LISA CAN MAKE ME NERVOUS,
AND I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY.
I MEAN, I... [laughs]
I JUST... YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY
SHE MAKES ME NERVOUS.
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
- OKAY...
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S ENTER.
[laughs] - GO ON, THEN.
- THANK YOU.
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- GREAT.
I CAN TAKE THAT OFF YOU
IF YOU'D LIKE.
- THANK YOU.
- SURE. WE HAVE TEA.
WE HAVE SANGRIA.
- DO YOU HAVE COFFEE?
- WE CAN GET YOU A COFFEE.
- OKAY.
HI, GIRL.
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
LISA DIDN'T INVITE ME
TO THE PUMP OPENING.
I WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF SHOCKED.
[British accent] I HOPE
LISA WILL BE A DARLING TO ME.
[laughs] I HOPE LISA WILL BE
A DARLING TO ME.
- OH, YOU'RE SO GREAT.
[laughter]
- [British accent]
I MISS YOU, DARLING.
[laughs]
- WE MIGHT NEED TO TRIM THESE...
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- NO, WE DON'T...
- IT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH. [laughs]
- IT'LL NEED TO BE A LOT BIGGER
ONE THAN THAT.
YOU NEED TO...
- ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON.
- YOU NEED TO CHOP THIS TREE
DOWN AND GIVE IT TO ME.
WHAT? - IT'S THE OLIVE BRANCH.
- IT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH.
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT IT.
- THAT CAME OFF
REALLY, REALLY EASY.
[laughter]
HERE YOU GO. - TAKE IT.
- SHE'S OFFERING IT TO YOU.
- YOU CAN'T JUST RIP A BRANCH
OFF OF A BEAUTIFUL, LIVE TREE.
DOES SHE THINK LISA
IS GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS?
AREN'T THINGS BAD ENOUGH
BETWEEN THEM?
- [laughs]
- I'D LIKE TO ACTUALLY TIE
HER UP WITH THIS OLIVE BRANCH
AND LEAVE HER ON THE TREE.
IT'S NOT FUNNY. - IT IS.
- IT'S NOT FUNNY.
- ALL RIGHT.
IT'S MY BEAUTIFUL TREE.
- WELL, IT IS NOW.
- AT LEAST TAKE IT.
- THANK YOU.
- SHE'S GONNA HIT ME WITH IT.
OH, THAT HURT.
- OH, YOU PROBABLY LIKED IT.
- A LITTLE BIT.
- I CAN TELL THAT
LISA VANDERPUMP AND BRANDI
HAVE A HISTORY,
AND IT'S NOT A GOOD ONE,
AND I DON'T WANT TO GET NEAR
THAT WITH A TEN-FOOT POLE.
- JUST EAT SOMETHING, PLEASE.
- YOU CHICKS ARE CRAZY.
- YOU THINK?
- COMING UP...
- CAN YOU PLEASE NOT, YOU KNOW,
PULL ANY BRANCHES OFF MY TREE?
- DO YOU WANT ME TO EAT
YOUR PUSSY?
[laughs]
- SORRY?
- I ENDED UP
DOING THIS CHALLENGE
THAT I NEVER WOULD HAVE EVER
THOUGHT I WOULD DO
IN A MILLION YEARS.
IT'S CALLED AN A.L.S....
FOR A.L.S.
YOU KNOW, THAT HORRIBLE DISEASE.
- OH, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW MY BEST FRIEND
HAS A.L.S., RIGHT?
- NO. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
- LET ME DO IT NOW WITH YOU.
COME OVER HERE.
- I WASN'T NOMINATED.
HERE'S...
HOW DO YOU NOMINATE SOMEONE?
- YOU JUST SAY,
"I NOMINATE YOU."
- WHO DO YOU...
- LET'S DO IT. YES.
- DO YOU WANT TO DO IT LATER
OR NOW?
- NO, I WANT TO DO IT NOW.
- TAKE IT OFF.
- WHOO!
- I WILL DO ANYTHING
FOR MY GIRLFRIEND.
- WAIT, WHAT IS...
- COME ON, LET'S GO.
YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS
FOR A LONG TIME.
AH! [cheering]
- I THINK IF LISA COULD DO THIS
CHALLENGE WITH ALL OF US,
SHE WOULD. [laughs]
SOME OF US MORE THAN OTHERS.
[cheers and applause]
- SHAKE! SHAKE!
- WET T-SHIRT CONTEST.
- OH, IT'S RIGHT IN HERE!
- [laughs]
OKAY. GOOD! OKAY. NEXT.
- I LOVE...
I LOVE THIS 50 BUSINESS.
- I DO TOO.
- YOU KNOW, YOU GET
SUCH A DIFFERENT CONFIDENCE
IN YOUR BEING AND YOUR...
YOU KNOW?
- IT'S TRUE.
- IT'S A DIFFERENT FEELING.
- IT'S CALLED
NOT GIVING A [bleep].
- YES, I WAS GONNA SAY.
- [laughs]
- IT REALLY DOES HAPPEN
WITHOUT IT...
WITHOUT YOU EVEN TRYING.
YOU JUST COME TO THAT POINT
WHERE YOU GO...
- OKAY, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
- WHATEVER.
GETTING OLDER HASN'T REALLY
AFFECTED MY CAREER THAT MUCH.
I STILL PLAY CRAZY. [laughs]
I STILL PLAY THE CRAZY VIXEN,
WHATEVER.
- THE ASS IS HANGING...
- I DON'T CARE.
- THE ARMS ARE FLABBY.
- I THINK IT ALSO...
IF YOU KIND OF LIVE THROUGH
THINGS,
AND YOU SURVIVE THINGS,
YOU KIND OF GO, "OH."
YOU GET PERSPECTIVE. - YEAH.
- YOU'RE LIKE,
"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL."
- NONE OF IT IS IMPORTANT.
- I HAVEN'T REALLY
PLAYED ANYTHING
THAT IS SO OUT OF THE FOOD CHAIN
OF WHAT I'VE ALWAYS PLAYED,
AND I THINK THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
- NO. DON'T WANT KIDS.
- YES, KIDS.
YOU HAVE CHILDREN.
- ME?
I ONLY HAD YOU. - IT'S TRUE.
I WANTED TO ASK YOU,
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU WANT TO GO
TO LUNCH TOMORROW?
WITH ME?
- WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?
- BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME DEEP DOWN.
PLEASE?
- "PLEASE"?
- PRETTY PLEASE?
IT'LL BE GOOD. I PROMISE.
NOTHING BAD.
- ARE YOU GONNA BE MEAN?
- NO. ARE YOU?
- NO.
I'M NOT SURE.
- [laughs]
- CAN I THINK ABOUT IT?
- YOU CAN.
I GUESS SAYING
"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT,"
IT'S BETTER THAN A "NO."
- CAN YOU PLEASE NOT, YOU KNOW,
PULL ANY BRANCHES OFF MY TREE?
- I WAS TRYING TO EXTEND
A BRANCH.
- IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT MORE
THAN THAT.
- LIKE, A LITERAL...
DO YOU WANT ME
TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?
[laughs]
- SORRY? SORRY?
- NO, I...
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO,
YOU HIGHNESS?
- I THINK I'LL PASS ON THAT.
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, THOUGH,
BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'LL PASS.
- I'VE HEARD I'M GOOD AT IT.
- IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO...
OH, SURE YOU ARE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
AT LUNCH TOMORROW?
- NO. I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE...
I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE ICE
WITH YOU.
I DON'T...
- THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE WAYS
TO BREAK THE ICE.
I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
- PERFECT.
- THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER,
BUT I'VE GOT THAT COVERED,
SO TO SPEAK.
DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?
I'M HERE TO SERVE YOU.
- REALLY?
- YOU ARE?
- OH.
- OH, MY GOSH. I'M SO EXCITED.
- WELL, BRANDI JUST...
BRANDI JUST OFFERED ME...
SHE WAS VERY SWEET, ACTUALLY.
SHE WAS REALLY NICE.
YEAH, SHE JUST MADE ME
A REALLY BEAUTIFUL OFFER,
BECAUSE YOU TELL HER
ABOUT GOING TO LUNCH.
I SAID, "WELL, I'M NOT SURE."
AND SO SHE,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"
AND I THOUGHT
SHE WAS REALLY SWEET.
IT WAS SUCH A NICE OFFER OF HER.
- WHAT WAS IT?
- WHAT WAS THE OFFER?
- OH, IT WAS, "DO YOU WANT ME
TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?"
- OH!
- OH!
- THANK YOU.
- DO YOU WANT A CHAIR?
- WHAT'S WRONG... WHAT DID I SAY?
- I SAID IT WAS
A VERY GENEROUS OFFER...
- YOU NEVER SAID THAT
TO ANYBODY ELSE HERE,
WHICH IS LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW TO BE OFFENDED
OR HAPPY...
IF YOU'RE GONNA BE TRYING TO GET
INTO LISA'S GOOD GRACES,
MAYBE SAY,
"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO LUNCH?
"I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU TO LUNCH.
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT
FOR TEA."
WHATEVER IT IS,
ANYTHING OTHER THAN... THAT.
NOT SAYING IT.
- CUNNILINGUS.
- OH, I HATE THAT WORD.
- WHAT MEANS CUNNILINGUS?
- CUNNILINGUS.
- EATING PUSSY.
- I MEAN...
- I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT WORD.
- REALLY? CUNNILINGUS.
- GALLI-WHAT?
- CUNNILINGUS. CUNNILINGUS.
- CUNNILINGUS.
- CUNNILINGUS, IT'S A...
- LIKE WHAT DAVID DOES TO YOU
EVERY NIGHT.
- CUNNILINGUS IS NOT AS BAD AS...
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE...
- GUESSING.
I'M HOPING FOR YOUR SAKE.
- I MISSED THAT PART.
- COONALINGUS?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE CHINESE TO ME.
IS IT A VEGETABLE?
IS IT...
A SPECIAL KIND OF MARTINI?
IS IT A CIGARETTE?
I MEAN, WHAT IS IT?
- CAN I SAY ONE THING?
WE HAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL SETTING
WITH THESE ROSES
AND FLOWERS AND THIS IS WHAT
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- PRETTY MUCH.
- IT'S... IT IS THE...
THE FLOWER OF ALL TIME.
- [laughing]
"IT'S THE FLOWER OF ALL TIME."
IT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT
AT A RESTAURANT, NECESSARILY,
LOUDLY.
YOU MIGHT SAY SOMETHING
TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SURE,
BUT YOU'RE GOING, "HEY, HEY!
I LIKE CUNNILINGUS!"
IT'S JUST... WHY?
- 5:30, I'M GONNA OPEN
THIS RESTAURANT...
- WE NEED TO LEAVE.
- AND AT 5:00, I HAVE TO DO...
- YOU WANT US TO GET OUT.
- I HAVE TO BE AT...
- SO SIT DOWN WITH US
FOR FIVE MINUTES.
- I CAN.
- HERE'S YOUR CHAIR.
- SIT.
- LET ME GET ONE FROM HERE.
- SHOULD WE... I THINK WE SHOULD
GO FOR A DRINK TOO.
LIKE THIS HALL OR SOMETHING.
LET'S GO
AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE.
BECAUSE SHE NEEDS
THE RESTAURANT,
SO WE SHOULD JUST GO
AND HAVE A DRINK.
- LET'S GO.
- I WOULD SAY WHEN A DAY
IS UNEVENTFUL WITH THESE WOMEN,
YOU COULD POSSIBLY
CALL IT A SUCCESS.
I MEAN, I GOT OFFERED
BRANDI'S SERVICES,
WHICH I TURNED DOWN,
AND I GOT TO POUR A BUCKET
OF WATER OVER YOLANDA.
I WOULD SAY "BINGO"
ON ALL FRONTS.
- SEEING YOU TOMORROW?
- I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- ALL RIGHT.
I THINK THAT LISA REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND
AGAIN,
BUT HER OWN PSYCHE
WON'T LET HER.
SHE MISSES ME.
- GREAT. GOOD JOB.
- CHECKMATE.
- THANK YOU, LISA.
- BYE, DARLING.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- HI, GIRLS.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. THANK YOU.
- SO CUTE.
I FORGOT HOW CUTE IT IS.
- I KNOW.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL HERE?
- OH, THAT'S PRETTY.
- I HAD FARRAH'S GRADUATION
HERE.
- OH, HOW PRETTY.
- OH.
IS THERE A REST...
CAN WE USE THIS RESTROOM?
- YEAH.
- I WANT A DRINK.
- DO AGREE.
- I NEED A COCKTAIL.
- LET'S HAVE ONE.
- I'M JUST GONNA GO
TO THE BATHROOM FIRST.
WHERE... DO YOU...
WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?
- I BELIEVE RIGHT THROUGH THERE.
- THROUGH THERE.
- AND THEN... YEAH.
- TO THE RIGHT?
- THE NEXT ROOM IN THE BACK
ON THE RIGHT.
- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING,
SINCE EVERYBODY'S NOT HERE.
I SENSE THIS...
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT WE'RE STUCK
BETWEEN BRANDI AND LISA...
- RIGHT.
- AND SHE WAS OFFERING HER
THE OLIVE BRANCH AND ALL THAT.
I MEAN, WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH ALL THAT?
'CAUSE I SENSED IT
AT YOUR BARBECUE TOO.
- OH, WELL,
THEY HAD A FALLING OUT.
- SHOULD I WAIT FOR THEM
TO COME BACK?
- THEY HAD A FALLING OUT, AND...
WHICH WE ALL KIND OF HAVE HAD
OUR ISSUES IN THE PAST...
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE HAD ISSUES
WITH HER TOO.
- I'VE HAD ISSUES WITH LISA
AS WELL.
- AND I... I HAVEN'T REALLY
BROUGHT IT UP EITHER, BUT...
- WE'VE ALL HAD OUR THINGS
WITH LISA,
AND LAST YEAR,
IT KIND OF ALL CAME TO A HEAD.
BRANDI SORT OF CALLED HER OUT
ON THESE THINGS
AND THEY HAD A FIGHT AND SO,
THEY HAVEN'T SPOKEN AT ALL
SINCE THEN.
- OH! SORRY.
WE'RE TRYING TO GET FILLED IN,
BECAUSE I NOTICED THAT AWKWARD
MOMENT WITH THE OLIVE BRANCH...
- YEAH.
- AND WE'RE LIKE...
- NOSY?
[laughter]
- YES.
- NOSY? YES.
- MY-MY EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESS
IS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS,
AND I ASKED HER NOT TO BRING
THIS PERSON AROUND ME
AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME,
AND SHE KEPT DOING IT,
AND I KIND OF FINALLY HAD...
I HAD A... I HAD A MOMENT.
I WAS LIKE, "NO MORE.
I'M NOT DOING IT."
both: OH.
- [laughs]
- COMING UP...
- WE ALL LOVE HER,
BUT WE'VE ALL MOVED ON FROM IT...
- WELL, LOVE IS A BIG WORD.
- IT'S A FOUR-LETTER WORD.
MUCH LIKE [bleep].
- MY-MY EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESS
IS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS,
AND I ASKED HER NOT TO BRING
THIS PERSON AROUND ME
AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME,
AND SHE KEPT DOING IT.
- HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR HAND?
- BEATING THE [bleep]
OUT OF A GUY.
- YOU'RE LUCKY SHE DIDN'T
BEAT THE [bleep] OUT OF YOU.
- AND I KIND OF FINALLY HAD...
I HAD A... I HAD A MOMENT.
I WAS LIKE, "NO MORE.
I'M NOT DOING IT."
both: OH.
- [laughs]
- WERE THERE ANY APOLOGIES
AFTER THAT?
I MEAN... - UM...
I DON'T... I DON'T THINK...
- I THINK IT WAS MORE OF
A DENIAL.
LIKE, IT WAS MORE LIKE,
"YES, YOU DID."
"NO, I DIDN'T."
- I MEAN, I'M SURE, YOU KNOW,
YOU FEEL THE SEPARATION.
- WELL, WE CAN SENSE IT.
- I ACTUALLY MENTIONED IT TO HER
THAT I FELT SOMETHING WEIRD
BETWEEN YOU AND LISA
THE OTHER NIGHT.
IT WAS VERY SUBTLE. - YEAH.
- AND I THOUGHT, "I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M IMAGINING THIS
OR WHATEVER,
BUT I'M SENSING SOMETHING."
- WELL, I WAS... I WAS JUST...
- AND THEN IT'S JUST KIND OF
BLOWN UP FROM THERE
WHEN I SAW THIS TODAY.
- YOU KNOW, THAT SHE, YOU KNOW,
HAS SUCH A BIG EVENT
WHERE SHE GETS A STAR
IN PALM SPRINGS
AND SHE DIDN'T INVITE US
AND SHE ONLY INVITED YOU.
TO ME, THAT HURT MY FEELINGS.
- SHE INVITED YOU?
- I WENT.
- YEAH.
- BUT SHE DIDN'T INVITE YOU.
- NO, SHE DIDN'T INVITE US.
- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT,
'CAUSE I WAS AWAY.
- EVERYONE'S FEELINGS
ARE VALID IN THIS SITUATION
BECAUSE I BELIEVE
WE FEEL WHAT WE FEEL.
WHETHER OR NOT LISA VANDERPUMP
HAS DONE CERTAIN THINGS,
I DON'T KNOW THAT,
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE IT.
- I KNOW THAT WE ALL HAVE
SEPARATE ISSUES,
BUT THE POINT IS THAT
WE CAN MOVE FORWARD
AND IT'S HARD,
BUT WE'RE GONNA DO THAT.
- WASN'T SHE TRYING TO DO THAT
BY INVITING EVERYBODY TODAY?
- I HOPE SO.
- WASN'T THAT KIND OF...
'CAUSE SHE SEEMED LOVELY
AND LIKE SHE WAS HANDLING
EVERYBODY NICELY.
THE OLIVE BRANCH
WAS A LITTLE ODD, BUT...
- YEAH.
- I MEAN, I'M JUST TRYING
TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.
- NO. AGREE.
- IT'S BABY-STEPS.
- EVERYTHING IS...
ANY LITTLE STEP LIKE THAT
IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT
DIRECTION.
ABSOLUTELY.
- I MEAN,
WE'RE ALL STRONG WOMEN.
WE ALL HAVE CHILDREN.
- WE'RE ALL EMPATHETIC.
I MEAN, WE SHOULD ALL BE ABLE
TO, LIKE, WORK THROUGH...
- YEAH, NO. NOT HAPPENING.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I GO, "EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO WORK"...
- THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET
ABOUT IT.
I'M ALWAYS LIKE, "WELL,
IF EVERYBODY JUST PUTS THE FACTS
ON THE TABLE..."
- I KNOW, AND THAT REALLY SUCKS.
- EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS
AND IT SHOULD ALL WORK OUT.
NOW THAT I'M LEARNING MORE ABOUT
THE RELATIONSHIPS
THAT ALL THE LADIES HAVE
WITH LISA,
I'M NOWHERE NEAR
KNOWING THE WHOLE STORY HERE.
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO JUDGE HER.
I DON'T LIKE TO JUDGE ANYBODY,
REALLY.
SO I MEAN, I HEAR IT,
AND UNLESS IT HAPPENS TO ME,
IT'S JUST NOT
PART OF MY REALITY.
- WE ALL LOVE HER, BUT WE'RE...
WE'VE ALL MOVED ON FROM IT...
- WELL, LOVE IS A BIG WORD.
- IT'S TRUE.
- IT'S A FOUR-LETTER WORD.
OKAY. MUCH LIKE [bleep].
- NO, I WOULDN'T...
WELL... - RIGHT?
- [laughs]
- DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MORE
CLEAR ON WHAT'S GOING ON
OR IS IT STILL SUPER CONFUSING?
- IT'S STILL SUPER CONFUSING.
- CHEERS, GIRLS.
- I KNOW.
- TO FRIENDSHIP.
- CHEERS.
- IT'LL BE CONFUSING
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
- YEAH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- SHE'S BACK, BABY.
SHE'S DANCING...
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA BE OKAY,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY,
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY,
YOU CAN COME HOME.
- WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?
- I WANT TO HAVE FUN
WITH YOU AGAIN.
- WELL, THEN YOU HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE.
- ARE YOU GONNA APOLOGIZE TO ME?
- WE WEREN'T HAPPY
IN OUR MARRIAGES
BECAUSE OF HOW WE FELT
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
- EILEEN TELLING THE ROMANTIC
STORY OF HER HOME WRECKING
SAT NOT GREAT WITH ME.
- OH!
- BRANDI!
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,