The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Irked at Cirque - full transcript
Hoping for an afternoon of fun and frivolity, Kim invites the ladies to a funky and colorful circus school in Hollywood, but tensions simmer as Brandi believes Kyle has labeled her a bully to the tabloids. Later, at poolside cocktails Brandi and Kyle have it out, but Lisa suddenly finds herself in the drama when an accusation by Joyce leaves her and the other ladies totally baffled.
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- KYLE, YOU HAVE
HAIR COMPETITION.
I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS, I THINK,
BETTER THAN YOUR HAIR.
- YEAH, THIS COULD BE
THE PANTENE COMMERCIAL.
- WOW. YOUR BODY LOOKS
AMAZING, GIGI.
- ALL RIGHT.
- GIGI'S LEAVING
THE END OF THE SUMMER
TO GO TO COLLEGE
IN NEW YORK CITY.
IT'S A BIG STEP.
IT'S GONNA BE HARD
NOT HAVING HER ENERGY.
SHE'S LOVING. SHE'S FUN.
SHE'S MOTIVATING.
THAT'S MY BABY.
- HAVE YOU EVER EXPLORED
WITH WITCHCRAFT?
- REALLY? [laughter]
KYLE WITH THE BLOODY DUMB
QUESTION...
IT'S BLOODY RUDE.
THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES
THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.
[laughs]
- LISA, WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I'M SERIOUS.
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THAT.
- KYLE, THERE IS THAT STORY
ABOUT MAURICIO CHEATING
AND WHATNOT.
LIKE, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
- A LOT OF TIMES
STORIES COME OUT...
AND I'M NOT SAYING, YOU KNOW...
- YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S NO SMOKE
WITHOUT FIRE.
- EXACTLY.
- [bleep] YOU.
[upbeat music]
- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB,
THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK.
IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN,
OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE THE LEAD.
- OOH, IT'S PRETTY.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WELCOME TO TRASHY.
- THANK YOU.
- COME ON IN.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[buzzer sounds] HI.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- OH!
- OH, MY GOD.
- LOOK AT THE HEART HANDCUFFS.
- [gasps]
I THOUGHT THEY WERE EARRINGS.
[laughs]
- PRETTY.
- YEAH, THOSE ARE AWESOME.
- I LOVE HEARTS,
AND HANDCUFFS ARE ALWAYS FUN.
- [laughs] JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T LOSE THE KEY.
- I JUST HAVE TO FIND A GUY.
- [chuckles]
- OOH, THEY'RE HEAVY TOO.
LOOKIT, FEEL.
LIKE REAL.
- BRANDI...
I HONESTLY LOVE
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
I THINK SHE'S STUNNING,
AND, UM...
YEAH.
NICE.
- OOH, THAT IS SO CUTE.
I KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED.
THIS IS SO CUTE.
- [grunts]
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS.
- THIS IS SO SWEET.
- SEE, YOU COULD BE
A SEXY NURSE.
- OR A PIECE OF CANDY.
- YUMMY.
WOW. - I'M A LOLLIPOP.
- ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
VERY KATY PERRY?
- OH, IT IS.
- YEAH. OH, THAT'S THAT...
RIGHT, THAT SONG...
I KISSED A GIRL.
OH, YES. - [laughs]
THAT'S CUTE.
OH, THAT'S REALLY CUTE.
- OH, G... REALLY, WHAT?
I CAN'T EVEN SEE IT.
- [laughs]
- I KNOW.
- OH, I LIKE IT.
- [laughs]
- I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NOW I JUST GOT TO FIND ME
A MAN.
LOOK AT THIS. CUTE, CUTE.
- WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU LIKE?
- DEFINITELY, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME.
- I AM A HUGE BELIEVER
IN VISUALIZATION.
- OH, WOW.
- YOU WRITE DOWN SPECIFICALLY
WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT YOU HAVE TO BE
VERY, VERY SPECIFIC
ABOUT WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
- LIKE, LOOKS AND, LIKE, JOB...
- LOOKS, JOB...
- AND, LIKE, CAREER.
- HEIGHT, FEATURES...
- OH, REALLY?
- EYES, YOU NAME IT.
IF YOU WROTE DOWN
WHAT YOU WANTED,
UM, AND YOU BURIED IT
MAYBE WITH A CRYSTAL...
ON A FULL MOON...
IT MIGHT... BUT YOU'D HAVE TO...
IT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU'D HAVE
TO INVEST IN.
I MEAN, I'M SMILING BECAUSE...
- I WILL DO THAT.
- IT SOUNDS STRANGE.
- NO, OH, NO, NO, TRUST ME.
I'M DOWN TO TRY ANYTHING,
AND THAT'S THE HONEST TRUTH.
I HAVE NO JUDGMENT.
I'LL DO IT. - OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
START LOOKING FOR YOUR, UM...
- MY OUTFIT...
- YES.
- DO WE HAVE TO GET
DRESSED UP TO BURY THINGS?
[both laughing]
- SOME PEOPLE WOULD DO IT NAKED.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO.
- I HAVE NOT BEEN LUCKY IN LOVE,
SO WHY NOT BURY SOMETHING?
I WANT SOMEONE THAT'S FIVE
TO EIGHT YEARS OLDER,
AT LEAST 5'9",
AND I WOULDN'T MIND...
A BIG PENIS.
- BURLESQUE-Y.
- YOU HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS,
THOUGH.
I'M LIKE, THAT IS TOO BIG...
- I DON'T HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS.
NO, I DON'T.
I'M WEARING A PUSH-UPPY.
- THERE'S A LOT OF BOOB.
I'M NOT NOT A LESBIAN.
LIKE, I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN,
BUT I FIND WOMEN ATTRACTIVE
AND BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY.
- [clears throat]
- LET'S SEE.
- UGH.
I DON'T LIKE THE PANTIES,
THOUGH.
- OOH, MY GOD.
I NEVER REALIZED THAT HER BODY
WAS THIS INSANE.
I THINK THEY LOOK HOT.
- BUT I WANT AN ENGLISH BUM.
- OKAY, WELL,
YOU'RE GOOD FROM THE FRONT.
- 'CAUSE THIS MAKES ME LOOK
A LITTLE...
- PUT THIS ON.
- YEAH, I'M GONNA FEEL VERY,
UM, JUBILEE.
- [gasps] NO, IT'S... IT...
THAT IS WHAT, UM...
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.
- OKAY.
- THERE IS NOT...
YOU HAVE THE TINIEST WAIST.
- NO, IT'S 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
BIG BOOBS AND BIG ASS.
- OH, OKAY.
- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
- [laughs]
NO, JUST SAY "THANK YOU."
- THANK YOU.
- I'M WORKING ON THAT MYSELF.
JUST SAY "THANK YOU."
- THANK YOU.
- OH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- YAY.
- THAT'S A MUST-BUY.
- WE DEFINITELY GRAVITATE
TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER.
WE LIKE TO PLAY.
ACTUALLY, I DO LIKE THIS.
- I THINK YOU NEED TO BUY IT.
THIS IS CUTE.
THIS IS A MUST-GET.
- OKAY, I'M GONNA TAKE THESE.
- HI. WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M REX.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M THE ONE THAT CALLED...
- RIGHT.
- AND I'M BRINGING A BUNCH
OF MY GIRLFRIENDS IN.
- SEVEN OF YOU GUYS, TOTAL?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- RIGHT. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO THE SCHOOL DIRECTOR, ALOYSIA.
- OKAY.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
- COME ON DOWN.
- WOW.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO HAVE TO TRAIN
WITH DIFFERENT COACHES
AND STUNT PEOPLE
FOR MANY DIFFERENT SHOWS
AND MOVIES.
AND I JUST REMEMBER
HOW MUCH FUN I HAD,
YOU KNOW, DOING ALL
THE BALANCE BEAM
AND ALL THE DIFFERENT STUFF,
AND I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE
A GREAT PLACE
TO TAKE MY FRIENDS.
- ALOYSIA, THIS IS KIM.
KIM, ALOYSIA.
- HI. WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- KIM RICHARDS.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOU'RE VERY COURAGEOUS.
- YES.
WELL, I THINK SO. - YOU ARE.
- WE'RE GOING TO DO TIGHT-ROPING
AND SOME ACROBATIC STUFF.
OH, MY GOSH,
OH, MY GOSH, OH, MY GOSH!
- OBVIOUSLY, THESE ARE
ADVANCED STUDENTS.
THIS IS THE AERIAL FABRIC.
THAT'S TRAPEZE.
THERE'S A PAIR WORKING ON IT,
SO WE CALL IT DUO TRAPEZE.
IN THE BACK IS AERIAL STRAPS.
- OH, WOW.
- AGAIN, MORE ADVANCED...
YOU WILL NOT BE MASTERING
THOSE SKILLS QUITE YET
IN ONE DAY.
SO WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT
WHICH KIND OF SKILLS
YOU WANT YOUR GROUP
TO GO THROUGH.
- WHAT SKILLS WE HAVE.
- YES.
- MY SISTER CAN DO THE SPLITS.
- THERE YOU GO.
[crowd cheering]
- YOU WANT TO TRY?
- WELL...
- YEAH? OKAY. HANDS UP.
I'M GONNA WRAP THIS
AROUND YOUR RIGHT LEG.
- MY HOPE FOR THE CIRCUS SCHOOL
IS THAT WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER
AND JUST HAVE SOME FUN,
MAYBE BOND A LITTLE BIT...
PUTTING EVERYTHING ASIDE
FOR THE DAY.
- THIS FOOT GOES
DIRECTLY ON TOP.
THAT'S YOUR BRAKE. - YES.
- NOW PULL YOUR KNEES
GENTLY INTO YOUR CHEST.
BOTH KNEES GO INTO YOUR CHEST.
THERE YOU GO.
AND PUSH OFF OF YOUR FEET.
- [grunts]
- THERE YOU GO.
YOU JUST DID IT. GOOD.
ONE MORE TIME.
PULL YOUR KNEES INTO YOUR CHEST.
KNEES GO INTO YOUR CHEST.
- [laughs]
- WHERE ARE THOSE ABS?
- [laughing]
- LITTLE ONES.
- WOULD YOU LIKE A WATER?
[laughs]
- I'M A LITTLE TIRED
FROM THE LAST THING.
- YOU KNOW, I PICKED UP SOPHIA
AND ALL HER FRIENDS.
IF YOU COULD HEAR
THE SEVEN GRADE...
SEVENTH-GRADE DRAMA,
IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SAME
EXACT THING 30 YEARS LATER.
- HELLO, HELLO.
- HELLO, THERE.
- HEY.
- HI.
- HEY, YOU GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- [speaking Spanish]
[both speaking Spanish]
- HOW ARE YOU? HI, BEAUTIFUL.
- MWAH.
I'M GONNA GET OUT ALL THE WAY,
JUST COME OUT AND SAY HI.
HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.
- GREAT TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU.
- I LOVE THAT NECKLACE.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IS THAT FROM YOUR STORE?
- IT IS. IT'S FROM MY STORE.
- I LOVE IT.
- THANK YOU.
- GORGEOUS.
KYLE HAS A GREAT ENERGY.
SHE'S VIVACIOUS. SHE'S CHARMING.
SO SHE MAKES ME FEEL
A LITTLE BIT
LIKE I'M HANGING OUT
WITH A SISTER.
- I'M GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS.
IT'S NICE TO, UH...
- FANTASTIC.
- SIT DOWN...
AND HAVE A NICE DINNER.
- I LIKE IT HERE.
THAT PLATE LOOKS FANTASTIC.
- I LOVE IT.
- DID YOU HAVE A MOMENT
TO LOOK AT THE MENU?
- WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?
- THE CHEF'S KNOWN
FOR HIS GRILLED PIZZETTES.
HE HAS THEM
IN ALL HIS RESTAURANTS.
THEY ARE GRILLED
INSTEAD OF BAKED...
- A GRILLED WHO?
- PIZZETTE.
- PIZZETTE, YEAH.
- WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S A GRILLED PIZZA,
BASICALLY.
- OH. OH, MY GOD.
WE LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- [laughs] IT'S A FANCY PIZZA.
- CAN YOU JUST SAY THAT
NEXT TIME?
- IT'S NOT ITALIAN ANYMORE,
THE PIZZA.
THEY MADE IT FRENCH.
- IT'S A SEXY THING.
- I'LL TAKE THAT. YOU WANT ONE?
- THAT'S GREAT.
- YOU WANT ONE?
- YEAH, WE'LL SHARE ONE.
- AND THE OCTOPUS
IS REALLY GOOD TOO.
THAT'S A NEW ADDITION TO THE...
- I LOVE OCTOPUS TOO.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
- WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING...
DID KIM CALL YOU? MY SISTER?
TO A CIRCUS.
WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH?
IF KIM'S GONNA DO THIS,
LET'S DO IT RIGHT
AND PUT ONE OF THE GIRLS
INTO A CAGE WITH A LION.
SO SHE'S LIKE,
"SO I HAD THIS IDEA,
"AND I WANTED TO INVITE YOU.
WE'RE GONNA BE JUGGLING."
I'M LIKE, "YOU MEAN, LIKE..."
- OH, COME ON.
- "LIFE, JUGGLING OUR LIFE
OR JUGGLING BALLS?"
- [squeals]
I'M GOOD AT JUGGLING THE BALLS.
- [chuckles]
- RIGHT, BABY?
- WE'RE GOOD AT JUGGLING.
- I CAN JUGGLE BALLS.
- [laughs]
- I THINK SO.
[laughter]
- THE OCTOPUS.
- I LOVE IT.
- OH, THAT LOOKS FANTASTIC.
- WOW.
- THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS.
- THIS IS THE PEET-SET.
- I LOVE IT.
- PIZZETTE.
- PIZZETTE.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- DO YOU THINK SO?
- ONE OF MY NIECES
ON TV RIGHT NOW.
- "HILTON WEDDING RUMORS"?
- MY NIECE IS GETTING MARRIED?
- [laughs] YEAH.
- THIS IS HOW I HAVE
TO FIND OUT,
THROUGH THE NEWS AND TV.
- YOU'RE LIKE, "WHAT?"
NOW YOU HAVE TO CALL HER.
"ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?"
- SHE'S NOT GETTING MARRIED.
THAT'S ALL BALONEY,
LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU KNOW.
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIE...
- NO, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH
AND ALL THE NONSENSE.
- WHEN EVERYBODY, UM...
WHEN ANYBODY TRIES
TO COME IN BETWEEN US
OR TRY TO LIE
OR CREATE SOMETHING,
IT ACTUALLY MAKES US STRONGER.
ANYTIME I SEE, YOU KNOW,
MY NIECES OR MY FAMILY
OR ME, YOU KNOW,
FLASHED ACROSS, YOU KNOW,
THE TV OR SOMETHING,
MY FIRST THOUGHT IS... [gasps]
"OH, MY GOD,
WHAT ARE THEY GONNA SAY?
IS IT A LIE? IS IT TRUE?"
'CAUSE WE'RE LIKE...
WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE.
- THEN YOU'RE GLUED TOGETHER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE...
- AND THEN YOU FLY TOGETHER.
- IT'S THE TWO OF YOU
AGAINST THE REST.
- WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE...
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- AND NOTHING CAN BREAK IT.
- ANY OF THESE [bleep] GIRLS
CAN DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST
WITH ME TOMORROW,
AND I... THAT... AND NO PROBLEM.
- BUT YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE
TO DO THAT,
BECAUSE YOUR WIFE BELIEVES YOU.
SO IT'S SILLY, EVEN.
WHEN I WAS MISS PUERTO RICO,
I ACTUALLY HAD TO DEAL
WITH RUMORS IN THE PRESS.
IT'S ACTUALLY VERY UPSETTING
WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES
TO ATTACK YOUR FAMILY
FOR NO REASON.
- BUT IT JUST GOES
TO SHOW, LIKE,
WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE
IN THE SPOTLIGHT, WHICH...
I HAVE TO LIVE
WITH THAT GUILT NOW
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S BECAUSE OF ME
AND MY FAMILY, ACTUALLY.
AND...
YOU REALLY THINK,
"ARE PEOPLE THAT DISGUSTING?"
YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.
LIKE, I REALLY AM...
I REALIZE HOW NAIVE I AM.
- AND I GUESS YOU CAN'T PREPARE
FOR IT, RIGHT?
THAT'S JUST...
- NO, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T THINK
THAT THERE ARE HUMAN BEINGS
THAT REALLY WOULD DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND THAT.
GROWING UP IN THE PUBLIC EYE
LIKE MY SISTER AND I DID
WAS OBVIOUSLY VERY DIFFERENT.
AND I REALIZE THAT, AS LONG AS
YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SAY
BAD THINGS ABOUT YOU.
- LIKE, YOU JUST LOSE ALL FAITH
IN HUMANITY
WHEN YOU SEE SOMEBODY JUST THAT
CAN ACTUALLY, LIKE, DO THAT.
I MEAN, THAT'S ALL...
I MEAN, THAT'S...
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALL...
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT IT.
- WE CHOOSE
TO SURROUND OURSELVES
WITH PEOPLE THAT KNOW US
INSIDE AND OUT
AND KNOW WHO WE ARE.
AND EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE
MAY SEE SOMETHING
OR HEAR SOMETHING AND GO,
"OH, I WONDER,"
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE,
BUT YOU DO CARE A LITTLE BIT,
AND IT HURTS.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- COMING UP...
- YESTERDAY I'M GETTING CHASED
DOWN IN CALABASAS
BY THE PAPARAZZI,
SAYING KYLE RICHARDS
IS CALLING ME A BULLY.
- SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THOSE THINGS.
- WELL, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY.
- THOSE ARE CUTE.
- OH, THESE ARE CUTE.
- DO YOU WANT TO BORROW THOSE?
- YEAH.
- CHECK MY NEW GLASSES.
- OH, THOSE ARE CUTE.
ARE THOSE FROM THE 1970s?
- NO, THEY'RE
FROM LOUIS VUITTON PURPLE.
- SO I HAVE A QUESTION.
CAN I TAKE SOME HATS TO LONDON?
- HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO CARRY THAT?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST...
- YOU STUFF IT WITH SOCKS
SO IT DOESN'T GO IN.
- MM...
- OR YOU JUST GET
A PERSONAL HAT BAG.
- ARE YOU STEALING
ANOTHER T-SHIRT?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
- [gasps] GIGI!
- IT'S CUTE WHEN YOU HAVE GIRLS
THE SAME SIZE AS YOU ARE,
SO NOW THEY CAN BORROW THINGS
FROM ME.
BUT...
SOMETIMES
THEY DON'T BRING IT BACK,
SO THAT'S NOT THAT CUTE.
[laughs]
- I WANT THOSE.
- NO, NO, NO.
- [gasps] I TOLD HER... NO!
THOSE ARE MINE ALREADY FIRST,
AND I GET THE ARMY ONES.
- I GOT TO WEAR THEM FIRST
BEFORE I GIVE IT TO YOU.
- YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH OF THOSE.
- CAN I KEEP THOSE LEATHER ONES?
- I WANT THE BOYFRIEND JEANS
SHE ALREADY HAS ON.
- NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
GIGI'S LIFE
IS SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW.
SHE HAS PROM
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,
AND AFTER THAT, SHE'S PACKING
TO GO TO LONDON
ON A PHOTO SHOOT
FOR GRAZIA MAGAZINE.
THOSE ARE MINE. THEY'RE GENUINE.
- THESE ARE LEATHER.
- YEAH, THEY'RE MINE.
- YEAH, THEY'RE MINE NOW.
- [laughs] NO.
IT'S EASY WHEN YOU'RE PACKING
TO GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND,
BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER
STARTS PACKING
FOR HER TRIP TO LONDON
TO GO AND DO A JOB,
IT'S LIKE, "WAIT, WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?"
YOU CANNOT HAVE THIS.
- YEAH, AND YOU CAN DO
THOSE ONES,
WHICH ARE THE CHEAP ONES,
WHICH...
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN'T HAVE
EITHER ONE OF THOSE.
I LOVE YOU BOTH, BUT, NO.
SO WHEN GIGI COMES BACK
FROM LONDON,
SHE'LL HAVE THE REST
OF THE SUMMER TO SPEND
WITH ALL THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
IN HER LIFE,
AND THEN IT'LL BE
THE BIG MOVE TO NEW YORK.
- WOULDN'T YOU RATHER
WE SHOP IN YOUR CLOSET
THAN WITH A CREDIT CARD? - YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I WAS
SUCH A TOUGH-ASS,
BECAUSE I'M REALLY NOT.
I GO TO HER ROOM AND, LIKE, CRY.
LIKE, I MISS HER,
AND SHE HASN'T EVEN LEFT YET.
I'M SO GLAD, GIGI,
THAT YOU ARE MAKING
YOUR OWN SHOPPING MONEY NOW.
- YEAH, GIRL.
- AND, BELLA...
- I TALKED TO MY BANKER
THE OTHER DAY.
ISN'T THAT WEIRD? - YOU DID?
- YEAH, SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S LIKE...
- OH, DID SHE RECEIVE
YOUR CHECKS?
- YEAH.
- YOUR DEPOSITS?
- AND SHE'S LIKE, "HOW MUCH DO
YOU WANT IN YOUR SAVINGS?"
AND I WAS LIKE... I FELT SO COOL.
I WAS LIKE, "YOU CAN PUT
HALF IN THERE."
FELT SO COOL.
- YOU SAID... THAT IS SO CUTE.
- SHE'S LIKE, "THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MISS HADID."
I WAS LIKE,
"YOU'RE WELCOME, MISS BANKER."
- [laughs] MISS BANKER.
THAT IS SO CUTE.
- IT WAS REALLY COOL.
- I'M PRETTY SURE I HAVE, LIKE,
$8 TO MY NAME, SO...
SO I'M GONNA START
WITH THAT CAREER THING.
- I HAVE RAISED ALL MY KIDS
IN A VERY REALISTIC WAY,
EVEN THOUGH THEY LIVE
A VERY PRIVILEGED LIFE.
- CAN WE VIDEO-CHAT EVERY DAY?
- MM-HMM.
LOVE YOU.
- OKAY, LOVE YOU GUYS.
- OKAY, MOMMY, I GOT IT.
THANK YOU, LOVE YOU. - OKAY.
- BYE.
- BYE.
I'VE ALWAYS GAVE THEM
REALITY CHECKS
AND HOPEFULLY RAISED
REALLY INDEPENDENT CHILDREN
THAT WORK.
THEY NEED TO MAKE
THEIR OWN MONEY
AND LEARN TO SURVIVE
ON THEIR OWN.
- CAN I HAVE THIS MAKEUP THING?
- NO, NO, NO.
- THANK YOU.
- COME HERE!
- DARLING, I'VE GOT
A MEETING AT 7:00.
I CAN'T MESS ABOUT.
- QUICKLY.
- I'VE GOT A MEETING AT 7:00.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- THE GUYS ARE HERE.
- DARLING, I'VE GOT A MEETING.
I CAN'T MESS ABOUT.
IF YOU WANT TO CUT ROSES
AND STUFF,
YOU GO DO THEM ON YOUR OWN.
- I LOVE TO SURPRISE LISA...
I MADE A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.
- WHAT?
- THIS.
- [gasps] THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
- BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS SAYS
SHE DOESN'T NEED ANYTHING
AND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING.
[whistling]
COME ON, PIKACHU! PIKACHU!
COME ON!
PIKACHU, COME ON!
COME ON, COME ON!
- OH, YOU SEXY BOY!
OH, NO!
OH, YOU... OH!
[gasping]
OH, OH, OH, OH!
OH, WOULD IT BE WRONG...
WOULD IT BE WRONG
TO HAVE PUPPY SEX NOW?
OH, I LOVE YOU!
WELCOME!
MWAH, MWAH, MWAH, MWAH.
KEN HAS SURPRISED ME.
HE KNOWS THE BEST WAY
TO MY HEART
IS NOT THROUGH JEWELRY...
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT IS AS WELL.
LET'S SCRATCH THAT.
IT'S PUPPIES.
I'M DOG CRAZY.
WE HAVE FOUR.
AND NOW, SUDDENLY,
WE HAVE A NEW FOUR-LEGGED,
BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME MAN.
OH, OH, OH, I LOVE HIM.
- BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE?
- OH, MY GOD, GIGGY'S GONNA HAVE
A HEART ATTACK.
- [laughs]
YEAH. YEAH.
HEY, DON'T EAT THAT.
- OH, HE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE?
WE WORSHIP OUR DOGS.
WE DON'T LOVE THEM.
WE ABSOLUTELY WORSHIP THEM.
I THINK THEY'RE OUR
REPLACEMENT CHILDREN, YOU KNOW?
IN FACT, I THINK PROBABLY
WE EVEN TREAT THEM BETTER
THAN OUR CHILDREN.
OH, GOOD LORD.
OKAY, LET ME INTRODUCE HIM.
OKAY, GIGGY.
GOOD BOY.
THIS IS GIGGY, OKAY?
- DON'T BE SCARED, GIGGY, BABY.
DON'T BE SCARED.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, GIGGY?
I'VE CALLED HIM RUMPY-PUMPY,
WHICH MEANS KIND OF PLAYFUL SEX,
WHICH GOES VERY WELL
WITH GIGOLO.
AND THEN I JUST LOOKED IT UP
IN THE URBAN DICTIONARY,
AND APPARENTLY
RUMPY-PUMPY MEANS BUTT SEX.
YOU'RE STILL THE MAN.
SO EVERY TIME I'M CALLING
"RUMPY-PUMPY"
OUT THE WINDOW,
PEOPLE ARE THINKING
I'M SHOUTING "BUTT SEX".
YOU'RE THE MA... [dog growls]
GET AWAY FROM ME.
I'M SO NOT INTERESTED
IN YOU RIGHT NOW.
GO ON, SAY HELLO.
[dog growls]
- OH, LOOK AT HIS TONGUE.
- AW.
YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE, OKAY?
- HEY, KIM.
- WELL, HI, REX. HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU READY FOR YOUR BIG DAY?
- OF COURSE.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- ARE YOU READY FOR ME?
- UH, YEAH.
- ARE YOU READY FOR THEM?
- WE'RE THE CIRCUS.
WE'RE READY FOR ANYTHING.
- OKAY... I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVEN'T MET MY FRIENDS YET.
IT'S CIRCUS DAY,
AND I'M REALLY EXCITED.
I'M READY TO BE A CIRCUS STAR.
[laughs]
HI! - HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NERVOUS.
[laughs] - NERVOUS?
- YEAH, I HAVE A LITTLE KINK
IN MY NECK.
- OH, NO.
- SO I'M A LITTLE...
I TRIED TO...
- WELL, ONCE WE HANG YOU
UPSIDE DOWN,
IT SHOULD COME RIGHT OUT.
- [laughs] OKAY.
SOMETHING WILL, FOR SURE.
- YEAH.
- HOPEFULLY NOT MY BREAKFAST.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
- GET READY!
- [laughs] OH.
- OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO GOOD.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- HI, GUYS.
- HI.
- HEY, KIM, HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, BEAUTIFUL.
- HI, LOVE.
HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK SO PRETTY
IN THAT COLOR.
- THANKS.
- IT'S 'CAUSE SHE'S DUTCH.
IT MATCHES HER EYEBALLS.
- I HAVEN'T HAD
A CONVERSATION WITH KIM
SINCE THE LAST TIME, YOU KNOW,
WHEN SHE KIND OF SIDED
WITH HER SISTER
IN JUST SAYING THAT
I SAID BAD THINGS ABOUT LISA.
SHE WASN'T TALKING
BEHIND YOUR BACK.
- SHE WAS, YOLANDA.
- SHE WAS NOT TALKING...
- YOLANDA! YOLANDA!
- SHE WAS RIGHT THERE
IN THE ROOM!
- STOP. THE NIGHT BEFORE,
SHE WAS TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
AT DINNER.
- SHE WASN'T.
- AND YOU SAID,
"SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.
SHE'S FULL OF [bleep]."
- I FEEL LIKE SHE KIND OF,
YOU KNOW,
STABBED ME IN THE BACK.
- I'M A LITTLE UPSET
WITH YOUR SISTER RIGHT NOW.
- OH, NOT TODAY.
- I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
- TODAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
- YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST.
- I JUST WON'T TALK
TO HER, THEN.
- AW.
- AW. WHY?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHY CAN'T WE JUST ALL HAVE
FUN TOGETHER?
- I WILL. NO, I WILL.
I'M JUST REALLY...
LIKE, I FELT LIKE I WAS...
I HAD GIVEN HER A HEADS-UP
ABOUT A COUPLE THINGS
THAT WERE COMING OUT,
STORIES WRITTEN ABOUT HER
HUSBAND THAT WERE COMING OUT.
LIKE, AS GIRLS,
LIKE, A GIRL'S GIRL,
I GAVE HER A HEADS-UP ABOUT IT.
AND THEN YESTERDAY I'M GETTING
CHASED DOWN IN CALABASAS
BY THE PAPARAZZI,
SAYING KYLE RICHARDS
IS CALLING ME A BULLY.
- THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE
TOUTING THE WORD BULLY...
- RIGHT.
- IN THE KYLE RICHARDS
SITUATION.
- SHE IS A BULLY?
- NO, YOU'RE THE BULLY,
APPARENTLY.
- THERE'S NO BULLYING ABOUT IT.
AND I'M LIKE, "REALLY?
"I'M THE ONE THAT TOLD HER
THESE STORIES WERE COMING OUT
SO SHE COULD TRY
TO GET THEM SQUASHED."
- OKAY, BUT...
- AND IN FRONT OF MY KIDS,
CALLING ME A BULLY,
AND MY KIDS ARE LIKE...
- BUT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE,
THEY MAKE UP STUFF,
AND WE DON'T KNOW
THAT THAT REALLY HAPPENED.
SO TODAY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
IS HAVE FUN.
TODAY IS...
- I KNOW, BUT WE CAN'T KEEP
PRETENDING, EITHER,
THAT EVERYTHING IS GOOD.
- IT'S NOT PRETENDING, YOLANDA.
TODAY WE'RE HERE... NO, IT IS.
IT'S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE...
- WE DON'T EVEN KNOW.
THE PAPARAZZI MAKES
A LOT OF STUFF UP.
SO TODAY
WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO...
TODAY IS ABOUT US ALL
BONDING TODAY
AND SPENDING TIME TOGETHER
AND TRYING TO PUT
SOME STUFF ASIDE
AND WORK ON FRIENDSHIPS.
- I KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
YOU NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO MOVE ON.
- WELL, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY.
- COMING UP...
- YES, HOLD THERE. HOLD THERE.
- BRANDI, COME ON,
YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
- SHE'S HERE.
- HI.
- HELLO!
- THANK YOU. HOW COOL.
- HI!
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU, PRETTY?
- I'M GOOD.
[smooches]
OH, MY GOODNESS.
- WOW.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOD.
WHERE ARE THE WILD ANIMALS
AT THE CIRCUS?
HERE THEY ARE!
- WELL, YOU'RE LOOKING AT THEM.
WE WAITED FOR YOU.
- SORRY.
- I KNOW REX HAS
A LITTLE PLAN OF HIS OWN,
BUT I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE
A GREAT EXPERIENCE
FOR ALL OF US,
'CAUSE, ONE, IT'S FUN,
AND THERE'S SOME
TRUST-BUILDING EXERCISES.
- THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK
IN THIS GROUP.
- OH, GOD. [laughter]
- AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO ASK
THAT TODAY WE PUT ALL OF OUR...
LEAVE ALL OF OUR STUFF OUTSIDE.
- WHAT STUFF?
- JUST ANY STUFF THAT WE HAVE
WITH ONE ANOTHER...
- PURSES, WALLETS...
- WE LEAVE IT ALL
OUTSIDE THE DOOR...
THAT WE... - EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
- ANYTHING WE HAVE...
- HAS SOMEBODY GOT
EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE?
- WE LEAVE IT ALL OUTSIDE,
AND THAT WE REALLY TRY TODAY
TO HAVE FUN
AND ENJOY EACH OTHER,
THAT WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER TODAY
AND KIND OF...
- JUST TODAY. KIDDING.
- RIGHT, BUT YOU'RE SCARING ME.
LIKE, THIS IS
A REAL SERIOUS THING.
WE'RE JUST GONNA, LIKE,
HAVE SOME FUN IN HERE, RIGHT?
- HER SPEECH
IS A LITTLE SERIOUS.
- I KNOW. LET'S JUST HAVE FUN.
AND WE'RE, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE ADULT WOMEN,
SO LET'S JUST GO FOR IT.
- WELL, YOLANDA,
YOU'RE BEING RUDE...
I THINK.
YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME...
I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY...
- WE GOT IT.
- OH, WOW.
- YOU'VE REPEATED YOURSELF
THREE TIMES, SO WE GOT IT.
- YOU SAID THAT
WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY
TODAY, SO THAT WAS...
- YEAH, LET'S BE HAPPY.
- BY THE WAY,
I HAVEN'T HEARD MY SISTER
SAY ONE THING.
I JUST HEARD... THAT'S
THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD IT.
- I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO SEE HER, YOU KNOW,
FEELING HER BEANS
AND STICKING TO HER SOBRIETY.
BUT WITH THAT SAID,
I DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD
HOW TO BEHAVE.
- LET'S HEAR HER OUT,
BECAUSE SHE ORGANIZED IT FOR US.
- WE'RE LISTENING.
- [sighs]
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT.
- I AM.
- OH, BLOODY HELL. REALLY?
I JUST WANT TO GO CLIMB
AND SWING ON SOMETHING.
I REALLY DO.
- WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, MY GOD,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
- YOU JUST SAID LET'S HAVE FUN,
SO LET'S HAVE FUN.
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA...
- THIS IS WHAT
I WAS TELLING YOU.
- UGH.
WHAT?
I'M SAYING, YOU JUST SAID
LET'S LEAVE THE DRAMA BEHIND,
AND THEN YOU JUST SAID
SHE WAS RUDE.
- BUT SHE IS.
- SHE WASN'T.
- I JUST WANT TO GET GOING.
- YOU ARE...
NO, EVEN WHEN YOU FIRST CAME IN.
REALLY, I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO HAVE FUN.
I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THIS
A FUN EXPERIENCE
AND, YOU KNOW... SO THAT'S IT.
- SHE SAID NO DRAMA,
AND THEN SHE YELLS AT YOLANDA.
[laughs] I MEAN, COME ON, LADY!
GONNA SHAKE HER
LIKE A LITTLE BABY DOLL.
- HEY, COME ON
OVER HERE WITH ME,
AND I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THE SPACE.
TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES NOW,
AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU
A LITTLE BIT, I'LL SHOW YOU
AROUND A LITTLE BIT,
AND THEN WE'LL GET STARTED.
- OH, BOY.
- COME ON.
WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?
- SHE CAME IN HERE LIKE THAT.
- LIKE WHAT?
- AND, HONESTLY...
- THEY'RE DOING MEAN GIRLS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY LIKE TO DO.
MY SISTER INVITED
ALL OF US HERE.
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE A NICE DAY.
FOR SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE
SUCH HIGH STANDARDS OF EVERYONE,
YOLANDA IS NOT BEHAVING
VERY POLITELY.
- SO WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
THAT'S THE FIRST THING.
I KNOW I'VE SAID THAT
A BUNCH ALREADY,
BUT I'LL SAY IT OFFICIALLY NOW.
CIRQUE SCHOOL
IS A TRAINING FACILITY
FOR BOTH PROFESSIONALS
AND FOR RECREATION AND FOR FUN,
WHICH YOU GUYS ARE HERE TO DO.
AND WE SUPPLY CIRCUS SKILLS
FOR FUN AND FITNESS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE COME HERE
AS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY
OF GETTING PHYSICALLY FIT,
SO THEY'RE ENGAGING THEIR MINDS
AND THEIR HEARTS AS ARTISTS
WHILE THEY'RE GETTING
THEIR BODIES PHYSICALLY FIT.
- I HOPE THERE'S
NO [bleep] CLOWNS.
I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF CLOWNS.
- SO YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE
UNDERNEATH.
WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU
GET YOUR LEGS THROUGH
INTO A PIKE POSITION.
IF YOU FEEL SETTLED THERE,
KNEES ON,
HEELS TO YOUR BOOTY
THE WHOLE TIME,
AND RELEASE
AND OPEN THE HANDS OUT.
FIRST YOU'RE GONNA HANG,
STRAIGHT ARMS.
YES, AND YOU'RE GONNA GET...
- CAN I JUST GO
STRAIGHT INTO MY THING?
- PERFECT, MM-HMM. FEET ON.
I'M GONNA HELP YOU WITH IT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- NOW WHAT?
- BEAUTIFUL.
- WAIT. I NEED HELP. I'M DONE.
- YOU OKAY?
- [snickering]
- BEAUTIFUL.
USE YOUR FLEXIBILITY.
GO TO A PIKE POSITION.
FIND YOUR BALANCE AND PIKE.
- BRANDI'S PROBABLY GOT
A SWING IN HER BEDROOM...
TRUST ME.
- [laughs]
- SHE HAS, I'M TELLING YOU.
ASK HER IF SHE'S EVER HAD ONE.
I BET SHE'LL SAY YES.
- I ACTUALLY WANT TO GET
A SWING, I SWEAR TO GOD.
- YEAH.
- I'D LOVE IT.
- [squeals, laughs]
- YES, HOLD THERE. HOLD THERE.
- BRANDI, COME ON,
YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
- ENOUGH! WE GET IT!
I'M A WHORE.
UNFORTUNATELY,
I'M NOT GETTING LAID,
SO IT DOESN'T WORK OUT.
- YES, AND HOLD AN "L" SIT.
- GOOD JOB.
- HERE, HOLD. THREE, TWO, ONE.
[laughter, applause]
- WHOA!
- VERY GOOD JOB, WOMEN.
WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON
TO THE NEXT ELEMENT,
WHICH IS GOING TO BE THE FABRIC.
- I'M IN.
- OKAY, COME ON OVER.
ALL RIGHT, SO, LADIES,
GRAB A FABRIC,
ONE TO EACH FABRIC.
- IS IT REALLY STRENUOUS?
- I'M GONNA HELP YOU.
- OKAY.
- IT'S NOT GONNA BE HARD AT ALL.
TAKE YOUR RIGHT LEG,
AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA GO
AROUND THE FABRIC
AND HOLD YOUR LEG UP
IN A RIGHT ANGLE LIKE THIS.
YES, THAT'S PERFECT.
HOOK THE FOOT AROUND.
EXACTLY RIGHT.
- OH!
- JUST LIKE THAT.
- OKAY.
- SO BRING THAT OTHER FOOT UP
AND STAND.
- I'M GONNA LET GO OF MY HAND,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE
BY YOURSELF.
- I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN...
- OKAY.
- AM I GOING TO GET ROPE BURN?
- LIKE A FIREMAN.
- GOOD.
- I LIKEY, I LIKEY.
- YOU THINK A LITTLE SHEET'S
GONNA HOLD ME UP?
- YES! IF IT CAN HOLD
MY 180 POUNDS, GIRL,
IT CAN HOLD YOU.
- IT'S CHOPPING OFF MY TWEETER.
- SO NOW... [laughter]
- WHAT THAT COULD BE PULLING OFF
IS VERY IMPORTANT.
[laughs]
- PITCH YOURSELF FORWARD
SO YOU'RE IN A BACK STRADDLE.
YES, EXCELLENT.
- WHAT AM I DOING?
- GOOD.
I KNOW THIS HURTS.
DOESN'T IT HURT A LOT?
- I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE
A CINCH...
LIKE, A CINCH, LIKE, WOW,
I'M GONNA GET THIS,
IN THE BACK POCKET, DOWN.
NOT THAT EASY...
[laughs] FOR SURE.
- BEAUTIFUL. VERY NICE.
- I FEEL LIKE...
- CAREFUL!
- I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT
HANGING AT THE BUTCHER.
- OH, YES!
- DOESN'T THAT FEEL NICE?
- YES, IT ACTUALLY DOES.
- 'CAUSE YOUR ASS
IS HOLDING YOU UP.
- SHE HAS A GREAT BUTT.
- I'M USED TO HANGING
UPSIDE DOWN IN THE FABRICS.
THAT'S NORMALLY WHAT WE DO
WITH OUR SHEETS AT NIGHT
IN THE BEDROOM.
- WE'RE GONNA DO SILLY CIRCUS
TRICK NUMBER ONE.
IT'S CALLED "RIDE THE TRAIN,
HAIL THE TAXI."
- OH, YEAH. OKAY.
- I'M ALREADY TIRED.
- BALLS IN FRONT OF YOU.
UN, DEUX, TROIS,
SLIDE.
[squeals and laughter]
- OOH!
- BLOODY HELL.
- YOU'RE ALREADY
A PROFESSIONAL, MY DEAR.
YOU'RE ALREADY A PRO.
- IT'S SO NICE TO SEE
THAT WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER
AND JUST HAVE SOME FUN.
THEY GET TO LAUGH
AND ENJOY THEMSELVES.
THEY, TOO, WILL GROW
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE...
IF THEY LET IT HAPPEN.
- WHEN I FIRST CAME IN,
I SAW KIM,
AND WE WERE ALL FINE AND GOOD,
AND I JUST SAID, "YOU KNOW,
I HAVE A BONE TO PICK.
YESTERDAY I WAS IN CALABASAS
WITH THE KIDS..."
- YEAH.
- "AND THERE'S, LIKE, PAPARAZZI
CHASING ME AROUND,
SAYING, 'WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF KYLE RICHARDS
CALLING YOU A BULLY?'"
- OH...
- AND I WAS LIKE...
AND MY KIDS ARE LIKE,
"ARE YOU A BULLY?"
AND IT WAS JUST
REALLY EMBARRASSING.
- RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
- AND I SAID, "ABSOLUTELY NOT."
- THIS IS IN THE PRESS?
- YEAH.
AND SO I SAID...
- AND I WAS INCLUDED IN IT
AS WELL.
- YOU WERE INCLUDED.
AND I SAID...
- BUT HOW DID ALL THAT COME
FROM HER?
- ME TOO.
- OH.
- THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID
SHE WAS...
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
THEY SAID SHE SAID.
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IT WAS IN FRONT OF MY KIDS.
ALL I DID WAS GIVE HER
A HEADS-UP
ABOUT TWO ARTICLES COMING OUT.
I WAS BEING A GIRL'S GIRL.
I WASN'T...
- BUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID,
YOU KNOW,
THE WORD "BULLYING"
YOU USE VERY CAREFULLY.
THAT'S A VERY SERIOUS WORD.
- AND FOR THEM TO SAY IT
IN FRONT OF MY KIDS...
- YOU DON'T JUST SAY
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE CACKLING.
I MEAN, WE'RE, LIKE,
A BUNCH OF ADULT WOMEN.
WE DON'T BULLY EACH OTHER.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- WELL, GUESS WHAT.
SHE'S NOT GETTING
ANY MORE FAVORS FROM ME.
I KNOW A LOT OF [bleep]
THAT'S COMING OUT.
SHE'S GONNA CALL ME A BULLY
FOR HELPING HER OUT?
HELP IS DONE.
DONE AND DONE.
I FEEL LIKE I WAS GIVING HER
A HEADS-UP ON THINGS
THAT COULD POTENTIALLY HURT
HER FAMILY.
AND I FEEL LIKE SHE OWES ME
A THANK-YOU AT LEAST.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK
THAT CALLING ME A BULLY
IN THE PRESS
OR HAVING SOMEONE ELSE DO IT
IS "THANK YOU."
I THINK IT'S "[bleep] YOU."
- JUST SO YOU KNOW,
FOR THE RECORD,
I NEVER CALLED YOU A...
I NEVER SAID THAT.
I NEVER SAID ANYTHING,
NEVER TOLD ANYBODY.
- BUT YESTERDAY WITH MY KIDS,
THEY WERE RUNNING AFTER ME,
AND THEY WERE LIKE,
"SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT KYLE RICHARDS
CALLING YOU A BULLY?"
- I'VE NEVER SAID THAT
TO ANYBODY.
- WE DIDN'T KNOW
THAT HE WAS CHEATING.
WE ALL SAID, "WE DON'T THINK
HE'S CHEATING."
SO THAT'S NOT ME BEING A BULLY.
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT, THOUGH.
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I NEVER SAID THAT.
- WELL, IT JUST SUCKS, 'CAUSE IT
WAS IN FRONT OF MY KIDS,
AND I WAS JUST LIKE...
- I CAN IMAGINE.
BUT I NEVER SAID THAT.
- I'D BEEN HELPING YOU.
- I DID NOT.
- OKAY.
- JUST SO YOU KNOW.
- WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD
THAT CONVERSATION,
'CAUSE I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M TRYING TO BE
A FRIEND TO YOU.
- I'VE NEVER SAID THAT.
I NEVER USED THOSE WORDS.
- OKAY. OKAY.
- SO...
- GOOD. SO TELL MY KIDS.
- [clears throat]
WHAT ARE WE DOING NOW?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
HERE I WAS, THE ONE WHO LEFT
CARLTON'S LUNCH
HURT AND UPSET
THAT THE GIRLS HAD BROUGHT UP
THE LIES IN THE TABLOIDS,
AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I'M HAVING TO GO UP TO BRANDI
AND EXPLAIN
AND APOLOGIZE TO HER?
I NEVER SAID THOSE THINGS.
- ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO
ONE LAST ACTIVITY.
LADIES, HAVE A QUICK LITTLE LOOK
BEFORE YOU DO THIS.
THEY ARE GONNA ROLL
AT THE SAME TIME TO THE RIGHT.
LAUREN AND I ARE GONNA JUMP
AT THE SAME TIME
TO THE LEFT, AND THEN WE WILL...
WE WILL REPEAT.
- I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE JUMPING
OVER MY BACK.
- READY, THREE, TWO, ONE,
ROLL, JUMP!
- [laughs]
- OH!
- THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
OKAY?
- FOR SURE, I'M GONNA BE
STOMPED ON
WITH A STILETTO.
CONVINCED.
- CARLTON, WILL YOU JUMP ON ME?
- WHAT? NO.
I'M NOT BLOODY ROLLING.
- OH, ROLLING.
NO, I'M SAYING YOU CAN JUMP,
AND I'LL BE A ROLLER.
- OH, I CAN... RIGHT, YEAH,
I CAN JUMP OVER YOU.
- I'LL BE A ROLLER I JUST WANT...
- YES, THANK YOU!
- I JUST WANT TO PICK
WHO JUMPS ON ME.
- WHEN IT COMES TO, YOU KNOW,
TRUST FACTOR WITH THESE WOMEN,
I WOULDN'T TRUST THEM
AS FAR AS I CAN THROW THEM.
- IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF TRUST.
- I DON'T. [laughs, mutters]
- DO WE HAVE TWO MORE PEOPLE
WHO'D BE WILLING TO DO THIS?
I DON'T THINK THIS IS
A VERY TRUSTWORTHY GROUP.
- YES, I CAN DO IT.
- SUPER PRO. THANK YOU.
- OKAY.
- I'LL JUMP.
- CARLTON...
- YES, MY LOVE?
- THE BRITS STICK TOGETHER.
YOU BETTER GET IT RIGHT.
- YES.
- THREE, TWO, ONE,
ROLL, JUMP! - YES!
[cheers and applause]
- OTHER DIRECTION.
THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
- YES.
- YAY!
THAT'S IT! YOU DID IT.
GOOD JOB. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BRAVO.
- TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN
A LOT MORE FUN
IF I HADN'T WALKED
INTO THAT ROOM
AND FELT THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY.
IT DEFINITELY AFFECTED THE MOOD.
- WE ARE GONNA BE
SO SORE TOMORROW.
- OKAY, I LOVE YOU, GIRLS.
- YOU MIGHT NOT BE.
- YOU GOT TO GO?
- YEAH, I GOT TO RUN
BECAUSE PROM IS IN AN HOUR,
AND THERE'S SO MUCH TRAFFIC
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.
- TEXT ME IF YOU GO.
- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- BYE, SWEETHEART.
- SEND ME PICS.
- ARE YOU NOT COMING FOR DINNER?
- HER DAUGHTERS HAVE PROM.
- OH, RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
- GIGI AND BELLA HAVE PROM.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
- I'LL SEND YOU PICTURES.
- YES, SEND THEM MY LOVE.
- OH, MY BACK.
- BYE. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- BYE. YOU TOO.
- WELL, HAVE FUN.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.
- MM-HMM.
- AND WE DID GOOD, NO?
- I THINK YOU ALL DID GREAT.
- WE WERE VERY WELL BEHAVED.
- I THINK YOU...
- GOOD.
- DID YOUR BEST.
[chuckles]
- WELL, MY BEST
IS PRETTY GOOD...
I THINK.
- THE BOTTOM LINE
WITH YOLANDA IS
EVERY TIME I COME IN THE ROOM,
IT'S LIKE PUTTING
A BIG FLAME TORCH BETWEEN US
AND A, YOU KNOW, ICKY VIBE.
AND THE FACE ISN'T NICE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
- BYE, GUYS.
- COMING UP...
- IT JUST SUCKS
TO BE CALLED A BULLY
IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
- ENOUGH OF THIS MEAN,
MEAN TALKING
AND MEAN... I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- HEY, GUYS, DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO TAKE
A PICTURE HERE
OR WAIT TILL WE GET THERE?
IN MY CULTURE,
WE DON'T HAVE PROM,
AND IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE GIGI...
THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IT,
BOTH GIGI AND BELLA.
AND I DON'T QUITE GET THE PROM.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT IT MEANS.
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL, BELLA.
- THANKS, MOM.
- YOU LOOK GORG...
I LOVE YOUR HAIR.
THE HAIR, THE DRESS, THE SHOES,
THE MAKEUP, THE FLOWERS,
THE LIMOS...
IT'S EXTRAVAGANT
AND A BIT OBNOXIOUS,
TO BE HONEST.
[indistinct chatter]
THAT IS SO CUTE.
[camera shutter clicks]
- THE SUN IS KILLING ME.
- SMILE!
[camera shutter clicks]
- IT'S GOING A LITTLE QUICK
ALL OF A SUDDEN.
YOU HAVE 18 YEARS,
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
IN THE SAME MONTH,
EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT ONCE.
I'M JUST HANGING ON
FOR DEAR LIFE, BABY.
- OKAY.
VERY GOOD.
[camera shutter clicks]
- IT'S A BIT CHILLY.
- I LOVE THIS ABOUT CALIFORNIA.
EVERYBODY'S TANNING.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- EVERYBODY'S LOOKING GREAT,
JUST BEAUTIFUL.
- EVERYBODY'S, LIKE,
HANDSOME AND PRETTY.
- SERIOUSLY, RIGHT?
IT'S, LIKE,
A BIT A REQUISITE, RIGHT?
- IT IS A PREREQUISITE.
- TO COME HERE.
- I'M STARVING, HUH?
- I'M DYING.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF TODAY?
- I LOVED IT.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT.
- IT WAS ACTUALLY
QUITE DIFFICULT,
TO BE HONEST.
- IT WAS DIFFICULT.
- IT WAS SUPER HARD.
- DID EVERYBODY HAVE FUN
AND ENJOY THEMSELVES AND...
- MM-HMM.
- I DID.
- YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS FUN.
I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY GOOD FUN.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK
I'D DO IT AGAIN,
BUT I THINK IT WAS FUN
FOR THAT TIME.
- I WOULD DO IT WITH MY KIDS.
- I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.
- IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN.
- WOULD YOU?
- I WOULDN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.
- YEAH, WITH THE KIDS. EXACTLY.
- [sighs] DID YOU SAY GOOD-BYE
TO YOLANDA?
- I DID.
- WHAT'D YOU SAY TO HER?
- UM...
GOOD-BYE. - THAT WAS IT?
THAT WAS REALLY AWKWARD.
I JUST DIDN'T SEE THE POINT.
IT'S LIKE
WE WERE JUST GETTING THERE,
AND EVERYONE BEING NICE
AND SAYING HI,
AND THEN I DON'T GET
WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO...
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M DONE TRYING
TO FIGURE IT OUT.
- I THINK FOR ME TODAY,
IT GOT A LITTLE HEAVY AND TENSE.
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW,
AND THAT MADE ME FEEL...
I MEAN, I WASN'T QUITE SURE
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
I DIDN'T THINK YOLANDA
WAS BEING RUDE, THOUGH.
- DID I MISS SOMETHING
COMING INTO IT?
- NO, YOU'RE MISSING
YOUR DRINK RIGHT NOW.
- I JUST DIDN'T THINK YOLANDA
WAS BEING MEAN OR RUDE,
BUT I DON'T KNOW
THE HISTORY BETWEEN...
- BUT SOMETIMES
SHE'S VERY DIRECT.
- BUT I DIDN'T THINK...
- I MISSED IT.
- I DIDN'T TAKE THAT
AS RUDENESS, THOUGH.
- NO, WHAT HAPPENED WAS THAT KIM
WAS STILL TALKING,
AND SHE WANTED
TO GO WORK OUT, RIGHT?
- WELL, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
WHEN SHE'S HERE NEXT TIME.
- I AGREE.
- I MEAN, I HATE, LIKE,
HOW WE ALWAYS DO THIS [bleep].
I MEAN, I JUST...
THERE'S NOTHING THAT HAPPENED
THAT WAS NEGATIVE
THAT WENT DOWN.
AND IF SHE THINKS THERE WAS,
LET'S ALL TALK ABOUT IT
WHEN YOLANDA'S AROUND.
- NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE
IS A GROUP THING.
THERE ARE PERSONAL ISSUES
THAT YOU RESOLVE ONE-ON-ONE.
- IT SEEMED LIKE YOU GUYS
WERE OBVIOUSLY TALKING
ABOUT ME WHEN I WASN'T AROUND
BEFORE, THOUGH,
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
- SHE WANTED TO HAVE A CALM DAY,
AND I SAID,
"WELL, I'M A LITTLE UPSET
WITH SOME STUFF THAT HAS GONE
DOWN WITH YOUR SISTER."
IT JUST SUCKS TO BE CALLED
A BULLY
IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
- YOU SHOULD TELL
THE PAPARAZZI THAT.
- I DID.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
- I ABSOLUTELY DID.
- YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM.
THAT'S TERRIBLE. - I DID.
- OBVIOUSLY, THEY'RE MAKING UP
ALL THESE LIES ABOUT EVERYBODY.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA ALL OF A
SUDDEN BELIEVE THAT I SAID THAT?
WHO DO I TALK TO?
I DON'T TALK TO ANYBODY.
I DON'T TALK TO ANY PRESS.
I DON'T DO THAT.
- I FEEL LIKE
IF IT DIDN'T COME FROM KYLE,
IT PROBABLY CAME FROM SOMEONE
THAT HAD KYLE'S BACK
IN A HARD WAY.
SO IT'S SOMEBODY CLOSE TO HER.
BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT I WOULD OBVIOUSLY THINK
THAT THAT WAS COMING
FROM YOUR CAMP,
BECAUSE IT WAS DEFINITELY...
- I DON'T HAVE A CAMP
TO TALK TO PRESS, BRANDI.
I DON'T HAVE A CAMP.
WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT.
I HAVE NO CONTROL
WHAT THE PAPARAZZI SAYS
TO YOU OR TO ME OR TO ANY OF US.
WHY IS SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN
BELIEVING THE PAPARAZZI?
I MEAN, SHE'S BEEN THROUGH
ENOUGH OF THIS
WITH HER DIVORCE,
AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, WHAT?
THEIR WORD IS GOLD?
- IT WOULD SUCK
TO HAVE YOU CALL ME A BULLY...
THAT'S ALL...
WHEN I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
AND SINCE YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T DO IT,
GREAT, I BELIEVE YOU.
- OKAY.
- AND I GUESS WE NEED
TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID DO IT,
'CAUSE IT SUCKS THAT MY CHILDREN
ARE THINKING THAT I'M A BULLY
WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT A BULLY.
- WELL, A LOT OF LIES
OUT THERE SUCK.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- YEAH.
AND CALL ME AND SAY,
"DID YOU SAY THIS?"
AND I'LL BE HAPPY
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
SO LET'S MOVE ON FROM THAT.
- OKAY.
- I MEAN...
LIFE IS TOO SHORT.
WE ALL HAVE, YOU KNOW...
- YEAH, BUT IF IT WAS
A SITUATION,
AND THEY'RE SAYING YOLANDA,
BRANDI, AND I BULLIED YOU,
IT'S VERY SIMPLE
TO TWEET ABOUT IT
AND, LIKE, RESPOND TO IT
AND SAY IT NEVER HAPPENED
LIKE THAT.
AND THEN THE STORY
GOES AWAY, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO.
- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
I HAVE BEEN DEALING
WITH THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE
OF MY LIFE.
AND LISA WANTS ME
TO MAKE A TWEET
DEFENDING THAT I DIDN'T CALL
HER A BULLY?
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU NOT SEE
WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE
OF WHAT WE'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH?
LISA, DO YOU THINK
I CARE ABOUT THAT
WHEN I HAVE THE OTHER PROBLEM?
YOU'RE ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU
BEING TALKED ABOUT.
I'M CONCERNED ABOUT MY FAMILY.
- OKAY.
- LISTEN, SHE TOOK TIME
OUT OF HER BUSY, HECTIC
CHEATING SCANDAL
TO GO TO THE CIRCUS.
YOU CAN SEND A TWEET.
- I'M NOT DEALING WITH THAT.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT THERE AND GO,
"LISA AND..."
I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, NO.
I'M NOT EVEN ADDRESSING
THE OTHER THING RIGHT NOW.
- I WOULD LIKE KYLE
TO HAVE DISMISSED IT
OR DISCREDITED THE STORY
BY JUST TWEETING ABOUT IT.
IT TAKES TWO SECONDS, ONE LINE,
AND IT'S GONE,
ESPECIALLY IF SHE DOESN'T
BELIEVE IT EVER HAPPENED,
AND IT CLEARLY DIDN'T.
WE WERE ALL THERE AT THE LUNCH.
- IT WOULD BE
A REALLY NICE THING
FOR YOU TO SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
BRANDI AND LISA AND YOLANDA
DIDN'T BULLY ME AT LUNCH."
IT WOULD BE REALLY NICE.
I KNOW YOU HAVE BIGGER,
BETTER PROBLEMS.
- I THINK ACTUALLY WHAT YOU DID
WAS NOT NICE.
- "WAS NOT NICE"?
I MEAN, ARE YOU JOKING? [sighs]
- SHE WAS TRYING TO BE HELPFUL.
DO I THINK SHE SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT IT UP AT LUNCH?
NO.
- AFTER I ASKED YOU ABOUT IT,
I SAID, "YEAH, THAT SEEMS LIKE...
I WOULD NEVER THINK
HE WOULD DO THAT."
- SO WE'RE SITTING THERE
AT LUNCH,
HAVING A BEAUTIFUL LUNCH,
AND YOU JUST DECIDE
TO BRING IT UP OUT OF THE BLUE.
- REALLY, KYLE?
- NO, I'M JUST WONDERING.
I MEAN, I'M TELLING YOU
HOW I FEEL.
EVEN LISA SAID
THAT WAS NOT COOL.
- THIS IS ABOUT ME.
- OKAY?
- I SAID IT THEN AND THERE.
- RIGHT.
- WONDERFUL.
- OKAY, SO THAT'S IT.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
- BUT I DID IT TO HELP YOU.
IT WAS ALREADY A MAGAZINE STORY
OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.
- THE HEADS-UP WAS TO HELP ME,
BUT NOT AT THE LUNCH.
THAT DOESN'T HELP ME.
- I JUST WANT...
I WANT HER TO WAKE UP
AND SMELL THE [bleep] ROSES.
THE REALITY IS IT'S ON
NEWSSTANDS ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
WE ALL KNOW.
WE ALL TALKED ABOUT IT.
SO YOU WANT IN ON THE CONVO,
OR YOU WANT US TO KEEP TALKING
BEHIND YOUR BACK?
I DON'T ROLL THAT WAY.
- THE POINT IS,
I DON'T WANT TO SIT HERE
AND ARGUE WITH YOU.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE DAY.
I WANTED TO ADDRESS THE FACT
THAT I NEVER SAID THAT.
SO, WHEN THE PAPARAZZI TALKS
ABOUT THAT, YOU CAN TEXT ME.
- THEN JUST DEFUSE IT.
- NO, NO, NO.
I'M TALKING TO BRANDI RIGHT NOW.
- OH, GOD,
THAT WAS SO RUDE AGAIN.
IT'S ALL OF US HAVING
A CONVERSATION.
- I'M TRYING TO TALK TO BRANDI.
- IT'S A CONVERSATION, DARLING.
YOU SAY SOMETHING,
I SAY SOMETHING.
- I KNOW, BUT LET ME FINISH
MY SENTENCE.
- OKAY, YOU'RE TALKING
TO BRANDI,
SO I WON'T DEFEND YOU
IN THE FUTURE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I WON'T.
- SO MY POINT IS...
- CARRY ON, DARLING.
- JUST TEXT ME AND ASK ME,
AND I'LL BE HAPPY
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
ENOUGH OF THIS MEAN,
MEAN TALKING
AND MEAN... I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- COMING UP...
- IF I'M ON MY PERIOD,
I'M A TOTAL BITCH.
SO SOMETIMES I GET UPSET.
- SO YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD NOW?
- [laughs]
- ACTUALLY, LISA,
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
- YEAH, SURE.
- [laughs]
- I KNOW, RIGHT? OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ME PRIVATELY...
- I JUST DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT
A BIGGER THING,
REALLY BIG GOSSIP. - RIGHT.
- SO I HATE GOSSIP,
SO I CAN TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE.
- MM-HMM.
- YOU WERE SO RUDE TO ME
THE FIRST TIME...
- WHEN?
- AT CARLTON'S LUNCH.
- WHAT DID I DO?
- I WAS JUST FIXING YOUR HAIR...
- AND I SAID I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
- I HAVE TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE,
BECAUSE I'M NOT
A TWO-FACED PERSON.
- RIGHT.
- I HANDLE EVERYTHING
TO YOUR FACE.
- YOU FIXED MY HAIR,
AND I SAID, "I'M OKAY,"
BUT IT WAS FINE.
- NO, IT WASN'T THAT.
EVERYBODY WAS FIXING EACH OTHER,
AND YOU WENT,
"I DON'T CARE!"
AFTER WE FINISHED
EATING LUNCH AT CARLTON'S,
I WAS FIXING BRANDI'S WEAVE,
AND KIM WAS FIXING MY HAIR.
AND LISA HAD A HAIR
IN THE MIDDLE LIKE THIS,
AND I WENT AND F...
I TRIED TO FIX IT,
AND SHE GOES, "UGH!
I DON'T CARE!"
- I SAID, "I DON'T CARE.
YOU KNOW, LEAVE IT."
- IT WASN'T "I DON'T CARE."
- I'M SORRY, DARLING.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.
SO IS THAT YOUR POINT?
- OF COURSE. I WANTED TO...
- BECAUSE I SAID "I DON'T CARE."
- NO, THE REASON WHY I WANT
TO TELL YOU
IS BECAUSE
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT,
SO I DON'T TALK ABOUT...
- WHO'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT?
- BRANDI TALKED ABOUT IT.
YOLANDA TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT
THE OTHER DAY.
YOLANDA BROUGHT IT UP
THAT BRANDI SAID IT.
SO I WANT TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE.
- WELL, JUST SAY IT
IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
WHAT, BECAUSE I SAID, "OH, NO,
LEAVE IT, IT'S FINE"?
- BUT IT WASN'T,
"OH, NO, LEAVE IT."
IT WAS, "UGH, I DON'T CARE."
- OKAY, I DON'T THINK
I'D DO THAT, BUT OKAY.
- IT WAS RUDE.
IT'S VERY SILLY
TO TALK ABOUT IT,
BUT I WOULD NEVER
HAVE BROUGHT THIS UP
HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR BRANDI
AND YOLANDA BRINGING IT UP.
IN MY BOOK, YOU GO TO PEOPLE.
YOU TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU RESOLVE IT, AND YOU MOVE ON.
IT WAS SNAPPY.
- I'M SORRY, DARLING. OKAY.
- IT WAS VERY SNAPPY.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE,
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO BE TALKING ABOUT IT
WITH OTHER PEOPLE
AND NOT TALK ABOUT IT HERE.
- WHAT, THAT I WOULD SAY,
"OH, NO, I'M FINE"?
- NO, IT'S NOT,
"OH, NO, I'M FINE."
- OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.
- I EVEN TOLD...
I EVEN APOLOGIZED THERE.
- OKAY, WHATEVER.
- I EVEN APOLOGIZED THERE.
I SAID, "I'M SORRY,"
AND EVEN BRANDI TOLD ME.
- WE'VE GOT MAJOR ISSUES
GOING ON OVER THERE.
THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
SO DON'T TRY AND CREATE ONE.
- OH, GOD.
- THAT IT WAS VERY SNAPPY.
NO, ACTUALLY,
MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SAID IT
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT I WAS SNAPPY WITH HER?
- YES.
YES, SHE DID.
- NO, THAT DAY AT CARLTON'S,
YOU WERE, I MEAN...
- YOU WERE SNAPPY.
SHE DID SAY IT.
I MEAN, BRANDI LITERALLY CALLED
ME AND SAID,
"LISA CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE CAN'T TAKE IT."
AND YOLANDA SAID IT TOO.
- THIS IS NOT GOING TO GO WELL.
LET ME GIVE YOU
A LITTLE HEADS-UP, JOYCE...
YOU MAY NOT WANT TO DO THAT.
- THAT LISA DOES NOT TAKE
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM,
THAT SHE CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
- YES, IT WAS.
- WHEN HAVE I GIVEN CRITICISM
TO ANYONE?
- OH, WOW, OKAY.
I TRIED TO GIVE JOYCE
SOME GOOD ADVICE,
AND SHE TURNED ON ME
AND MADE IT SEEM
LIKE I WAS TALKING [bleep],
WHEN I WAS JUST TRYING
TO HELP THAT GIRL OUT.
LESSON LEARNED.
I WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN.
- SORRY IF I WENT LIKE THIS...
"UGH, NO."
I WENT, LIKE, "NO, LEAVE IT."
- WHEN?
- I'M SO CONFUSED.
IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH MY HAIR?
- ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?
- ABOUT WHAT?
- ABOUT ANYTHING.
- WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?
- YEAH, SHE WAS SNAPPY.
- SHE SAID THAT WAS VERY RUDE.
- AND IT HONESTLY CAUGHT ME
OFF GUARD.
AND THEN FOR YOU TO BE...
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU ARE BEING REALLY DRAMATIC
RIGHT NOW.
- RIGHT, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
- SERIOUSLY.
THIS IS BLOODY CHILD'S PLAY.
- IF I'M ON MY PERIOD,
I'M A TOTAL BITCH.
SO SOMETIMES I GET UPSET.
- SO YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD NOW?
- [laughs]
- NEXT TIME
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[excited chatter]
- I'M JUST PROUD OF MY HUSBAND.
I THINK GETTING A STAR
ON THE WALK OF FAME
IS A HUGE DEAL.
- DAVID FOSTER.
[cheers and applause]
- IT'S HERE.
KIMBERLY'S GRADUATING.
[sniffles] SORRY.
- WE'LL DO
AN ACUPUNCTURE SESSION.
- MY CATS DON'T DO FACIALS.
[cat meows]
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
DON'T GET MAD.
- KYLE'S KIND OF DEALING
WITH, YOU KNOW,
THE THING THAT'S GONE DOWN
IN THE PRESS.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE.
I REALLY DON'T.
- MY CHARACTER IS THE ONE
THAT'S BEING ATTACKED RIGHT NOW.
- ONCE THE STORY LEAKED,
AND EVERYONE STARTED
GOING AFTER LISA,
THEN SHE SAYS, "OH, DON'T
BELIEVE ANY OF THE B.S."
TWO MONTHS TOO LATE. - AGREED.
- WHAT IS THAT? [laughter]
OH, MY GOD,
I'M JUST GETTING SCARED!
- I MADE OUT
WITH CARLTON YESTERDAY.
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- KYLE, YOU HAVE
HAIR COMPETITION.
I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS, I THINK,
BETTER THAN YOUR HAIR.
- YEAH, THIS COULD BE
THE PANTENE COMMERCIAL.
- WOW. YOUR BODY LOOKS
AMAZING, GIGI.
- ALL RIGHT.
- GIGI'S LEAVING
THE END OF THE SUMMER
TO GO TO COLLEGE
IN NEW YORK CITY.
IT'S A BIG STEP.
IT'S GONNA BE HARD
NOT HAVING HER ENERGY.
SHE'S LOVING. SHE'S FUN.
SHE'S MOTIVATING.
THAT'S MY BABY.
- HAVE YOU EVER EXPLORED
WITH WITCHCRAFT?
- REALLY? [laughter]
KYLE WITH THE BLOODY DUMB
QUESTION...
IT'S BLOODY RUDE.
THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES
THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.
[laughs]
- LISA, WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I'M SERIOUS.
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THAT.
- KYLE, THERE IS THAT STORY
ABOUT MAURICIO CHEATING
AND WHATNOT.
LIKE, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
- A LOT OF TIMES
STORIES COME OUT...
AND I'M NOT SAYING, YOU KNOW...
- YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S NO SMOKE
WITHOUT FIRE.
- EXACTLY.
- [bleep] YOU.
[upbeat music]
- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB,
THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK.
IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN,
OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE THE LEAD.
- OOH, IT'S PRETTY.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WELCOME TO TRASHY.
- THANK YOU.
- COME ON IN.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[buzzer sounds] HI.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- OH!
- OH, MY GOD.
- LOOK AT THE HEART HANDCUFFS.
- [gasps]
I THOUGHT THEY WERE EARRINGS.
[laughs]
- PRETTY.
- YEAH, THOSE ARE AWESOME.
- I LOVE HEARTS,
AND HANDCUFFS ARE ALWAYS FUN.
- [laughs] JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T LOSE THE KEY.
- I JUST HAVE TO FIND A GUY.
- [chuckles]
- OOH, THEY'RE HEAVY TOO.
LOOKIT, FEEL.
LIKE REAL.
- BRANDI...
I HONESTLY LOVE
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
I THINK SHE'S STUNNING,
AND, UM...
YEAH.
NICE.
- OOH, THAT IS SO CUTE.
I KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED.
THIS IS SO CUTE.
- [grunts]
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS.
- THIS IS SO SWEET.
- SEE, YOU COULD BE
A SEXY NURSE.
- OR A PIECE OF CANDY.
- YUMMY.
WOW. - I'M A LOLLIPOP.
- ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
VERY KATY PERRY?
- OH, IT IS.
- YEAH. OH, THAT'S THAT...
RIGHT, THAT SONG...
I KISSED A GIRL.
OH, YES. - [laughs]
THAT'S CUTE.
OH, THAT'S REALLY CUTE.
- OH, G... REALLY, WHAT?
I CAN'T EVEN SEE IT.
- [laughs]
- I KNOW.
- OH, I LIKE IT.
- [laughs]
- I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NOW I JUST GOT TO FIND ME
A MAN.
LOOK AT THIS. CUTE, CUTE.
- WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU LIKE?
- DEFINITELY, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME.
- I AM A HUGE BELIEVER
IN VISUALIZATION.
- OH, WOW.
- YOU WRITE DOWN SPECIFICALLY
WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT YOU HAVE TO BE
VERY, VERY SPECIFIC
ABOUT WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
- LIKE, LOOKS AND, LIKE, JOB...
- LOOKS, JOB...
- AND, LIKE, CAREER.
- HEIGHT, FEATURES...
- OH, REALLY?
- EYES, YOU NAME IT.
IF YOU WROTE DOWN
WHAT YOU WANTED,
UM, AND YOU BURIED IT
MAYBE WITH A CRYSTAL...
ON A FULL MOON...
IT MIGHT... BUT YOU'D HAVE TO...
IT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU'D HAVE
TO INVEST IN.
I MEAN, I'M SMILING BECAUSE...
- I WILL DO THAT.
- IT SOUNDS STRANGE.
- NO, OH, NO, NO, TRUST ME.
I'M DOWN TO TRY ANYTHING,
AND THAT'S THE HONEST TRUTH.
I HAVE NO JUDGMENT.
I'LL DO IT. - OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
START LOOKING FOR YOUR, UM...
- MY OUTFIT...
- YES.
- DO WE HAVE TO GET
DRESSED UP TO BURY THINGS?
[both laughing]
- SOME PEOPLE WOULD DO IT NAKED.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO.
- I HAVE NOT BEEN LUCKY IN LOVE,
SO WHY NOT BURY SOMETHING?
I WANT SOMEONE THAT'S FIVE
TO EIGHT YEARS OLDER,
AT LEAST 5'9",
AND I WOULDN'T MIND...
A BIG PENIS.
- BURLESQUE-Y.
- YOU HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS,
THOUGH.
I'M LIKE, THAT IS TOO BIG...
- I DON'T HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS.
NO, I DON'T.
I'M WEARING A PUSH-UPPY.
- THERE'S A LOT OF BOOB.
I'M NOT NOT A LESBIAN.
LIKE, I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN,
BUT I FIND WOMEN ATTRACTIVE
AND BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY.
- [clears throat]
- LET'S SEE.
- UGH.
I DON'T LIKE THE PANTIES,
THOUGH.
- OOH, MY GOD.
I NEVER REALIZED THAT HER BODY
WAS THIS INSANE.
I THINK THEY LOOK HOT.
- BUT I WANT AN ENGLISH BUM.
- OKAY, WELL,
YOU'RE GOOD FROM THE FRONT.
- 'CAUSE THIS MAKES ME LOOK
A LITTLE...
- PUT THIS ON.
- YEAH, I'M GONNA FEEL VERY,
UM, JUBILEE.
- [gasps] NO, IT'S... IT...
THAT IS WHAT, UM...
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.
- OKAY.
- THERE IS NOT...
YOU HAVE THE TINIEST WAIST.
- NO, IT'S 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
BIG BOOBS AND BIG ASS.
- OH, OKAY.
- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
- [laughs]
NO, JUST SAY "THANK YOU."
- THANK YOU.
- I'M WORKING ON THAT MYSELF.
JUST SAY "THANK YOU."
- THANK YOU.
- OH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- YAY.
- THAT'S A MUST-BUY.
- WE DEFINITELY GRAVITATE
TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER.
WE LIKE TO PLAY.
ACTUALLY, I DO LIKE THIS.
- I THINK YOU NEED TO BUY IT.
THIS IS CUTE.
THIS IS A MUST-GET.
- OKAY, I'M GONNA TAKE THESE.
- HI. WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M REX.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M THE ONE THAT CALLED...
- RIGHT.
- AND I'M BRINGING A BUNCH
OF MY GIRLFRIENDS IN.
- SEVEN OF YOU GUYS, TOTAL?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- RIGHT. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO THE SCHOOL DIRECTOR, ALOYSIA.
- OKAY.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
- COME ON DOWN.
- WOW.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO HAVE TO TRAIN
WITH DIFFERENT COACHES
AND STUNT PEOPLE
FOR MANY DIFFERENT SHOWS
AND MOVIES.
AND I JUST REMEMBER
HOW MUCH FUN I HAD,
YOU KNOW, DOING ALL
THE BALANCE BEAM
AND ALL THE DIFFERENT STUFF,
AND I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE
A GREAT PLACE
TO TAKE MY FRIENDS.
- ALOYSIA, THIS IS KIM.
KIM, ALOYSIA.
- HI. WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- KIM RICHARDS.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOU'RE VERY COURAGEOUS.
- YES.
WELL, I THINK SO. - YOU ARE.
- WE'RE GOING TO DO TIGHT-ROPING
AND SOME ACROBATIC STUFF.
OH, MY GOSH,
OH, MY GOSH, OH, MY GOSH!
- OBVIOUSLY, THESE ARE
ADVANCED STUDENTS.
THIS IS THE AERIAL FABRIC.
THAT'S TRAPEZE.
THERE'S A PAIR WORKING ON IT,
SO WE CALL IT DUO TRAPEZE.
IN THE BACK IS AERIAL STRAPS.
- OH, WOW.
- AGAIN, MORE ADVANCED...
YOU WILL NOT BE MASTERING
THOSE SKILLS QUITE YET
IN ONE DAY.
SO WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT
WHICH KIND OF SKILLS
YOU WANT YOUR GROUP
TO GO THROUGH.
- WHAT SKILLS WE HAVE.
- YES.
- MY SISTER CAN DO THE SPLITS.
- THERE YOU GO.
[crowd cheering]
- YOU WANT TO TRY?
- WELL...
- YEAH? OKAY. HANDS UP.
I'M GONNA WRAP THIS
AROUND YOUR RIGHT LEG.
- MY HOPE FOR THE CIRCUS SCHOOL
IS THAT WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER
AND JUST HAVE SOME FUN,
MAYBE BOND A LITTLE BIT...
PUTTING EVERYTHING ASIDE
FOR THE DAY.
- THIS FOOT GOES
DIRECTLY ON TOP.
THAT'S YOUR BRAKE. - YES.
- NOW PULL YOUR KNEES
GENTLY INTO YOUR CHEST.
BOTH KNEES GO INTO YOUR CHEST.
THERE YOU GO.
AND PUSH OFF OF YOUR FEET.
- [grunts]
- THERE YOU GO.
YOU JUST DID IT. GOOD.
ONE MORE TIME.
PULL YOUR KNEES INTO YOUR CHEST.
KNEES GO INTO YOUR CHEST.
- [laughs]
- WHERE ARE THOSE ABS?
- [laughing]
- LITTLE ONES.
- WOULD YOU LIKE A WATER?
[laughs]
- I'M A LITTLE TIRED
FROM THE LAST THING.
- YOU KNOW, I PICKED UP SOPHIA
AND ALL HER FRIENDS.
IF YOU COULD HEAR
THE SEVEN GRADE...
SEVENTH-GRADE DRAMA,
IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SAME
EXACT THING 30 YEARS LATER.
- HELLO, HELLO.
- HELLO, THERE.
- HEY.
- HI.
- HEY, YOU GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- [speaking Spanish]
[both speaking Spanish]
- HOW ARE YOU? HI, BEAUTIFUL.
- MWAH.
I'M GONNA GET OUT ALL THE WAY,
JUST COME OUT AND SAY HI.
HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.
- GREAT TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU.
- I LOVE THAT NECKLACE.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IS THAT FROM YOUR STORE?
- IT IS. IT'S FROM MY STORE.
- I LOVE IT.
- THANK YOU.
- GORGEOUS.
KYLE HAS A GREAT ENERGY.
SHE'S VIVACIOUS. SHE'S CHARMING.
SO SHE MAKES ME FEEL
A LITTLE BIT
LIKE I'M HANGING OUT
WITH A SISTER.
- I'M GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS.
IT'S NICE TO, UH...
- FANTASTIC.
- SIT DOWN...
AND HAVE A NICE DINNER.
- I LIKE IT HERE.
THAT PLATE LOOKS FANTASTIC.
- I LOVE IT.
- DID YOU HAVE A MOMENT
TO LOOK AT THE MENU?
- WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?
- THE CHEF'S KNOWN
FOR HIS GRILLED PIZZETTES.
HE HAS THEM
IN ALL HIS RESTAURANTS.
THEY ARE GRILLED
INSTEAD OF BAKED...
- A GRILLED WHO?
- PIZZETTE.
- PIZZETTE, YEAH.
- WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S A GRILLED PIZZA,
BASICALLY.
- OH. OH, MY GOD.
WE LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- [laughs] IT'S A FANCY PIZZA.
- CAN YOU JUST SAY THAT
NEXT TIME?
- IT'S NOT ITALIAN ANYMORE,
THE PIZZA.
THEY MADE IT FRENCH.
- IT'S A SEXY THING.
- I'LL TAKE THAT. YOU WANT ONE?
- THAT'S GREAT.
- YOU WANT ONE?
- YEAH, WE'LL SHARE ONE.
- AND THE OCTOPUS
IS REALLY GOOD TOO.
THAT'S A NEW ADDITION TO THE...
- I LOVE OCTOPUS TOO.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
- WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING...
DID KIM CALL YOU? MY SISTER?
TO A CIRCUS.
WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH?
IF KIM'S GONNA DO THIS,
LET'S DO IT RIGHT
AND PUT ONE OF THE GIRLS
INTO A CAGE WITH A LION.
SO SHE'S LIKE,
"SO I HAD THIS IDEA,
"AND I WANTED TO INVITE YOU.
WE'RE GONNA BE JUGGLING."
I'M LIKE, "YOU MEAN, LIKE..."
- OH, COME ON.
- "LIFE, JUGGLING OUR LIFE
OR JUGGLING BALLS?"
- [squeals]
I'M GOOD AT JUGGLING THE BALLS.
- [chuckles]
- RIGHT, BABY?
- WE'RE GOOD AT JUGGLING.
- I CAN JUGGLE BALLS.
- [laughs]
- I THINK SO.
[laughter]
- THE OCTOPUS.
- I LOVE IT.
- OH, THAT LOOKS FANTASTIC.
- WOW.
- THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS.
- THIS IS THE PEET-SET.
- I LOVE IT.
- PIZZETTE.
- PIZZETTE.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- DO YOU THINK SO?
- ONE OF MY NIECES
ON TV RIGHT NOW.
- "HILTON WEDDING RUMORS"?
- MY NIECE IS GETTING MARRIED?
- [laughs] YEAH.
- THIS IS HOW I HAVE
TO FIND OUT,
THROUGH THE NEWS AND TV.
- YOU'RE LIKE, "WHAT?"
NOW YOU HAVE TO CALL HER.
"ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?"
- SHE'S NOT GETTING MARRIED.
THAT'S ALL BALONEY,
LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU KNOW.
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIE...
- NO, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH
AND ALL THE NONSENSE.
- WHEN EVERYBODY, UM...
WHEN ANYBODY TRIES
TO COME IN BETWEEN US
OR TRY TO LIE
OR CREATE SOMETHING,
IT ACTUALLY MAKES US STRONGER.
ANYTIME I SEE, YOU KNOW,
MY NIECES OR MY FAMILY
OR ME, YOU KNOW,
FLASHED ACROSS, YOU KNOW,
THE TV OR SOMETHING,
MY FIRST THOUGHT IS... [gasps]
"OH, MY GOD,
WHAT ARE THEY GONNA SAY?
IS IT A LIE? IS IT TRUE?"
'CAUSE WE'RE LIKE...
WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE.
- THEN YOU'RE GLUED TOGETHER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE...
- AND THEN YOU FLY TOGETHER.
- IT'S THE TWO OF YOU
AGAINST THE REST.
- WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE...
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- AND NOTHING CAN BREAK IT.
- ANY OF THESE [bleep] GIRLS
CAN DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST
WITH ME TOMORROW,
AND I... THAT... AND NO PROBLEM.
- BUT YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE
TO DO THAT,
BECAUSE YOUR WIFE BELIEVES YOU.
SO IT'S SILLY, EVEN.
WHEN I WAS MISS PUERTO RICO,
I ACTUALLY HAD TO DEAL
WITH RUMORS IN THE PRESS.
IT'S ACTUALLY VERY UPSETTING
WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES
TO ATTACK YOUR FAMILY
FOR NO REASON.
- BUT IT JUST GOES
TO SHOW, LIKE,
WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE
IN THE SPOTLIGHT, WHICH...
I HAVE TO LIVE
WITH THAT GUILT NOW
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S BECAUSE OF ME
AND MY FAMILY, ACTUALLY.
AND...
YOU REALLY THINK,
"ARE PEOPLE THAT DISGUSTING?"
YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.
LIKE, I REALLY AM...
I REALIZE HOW NAIVE I AM.
- AND I GUESS YOU CAN'T PREPARE
FOR IT, RIGHT?
THAT'S JUST...
- NO, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T THINK
THAT THERE ARE HUMAN BEINGS
THAT REALLY WOULD DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND THAT.
GROWING UP IN THE PUBLIC EYE
LIKE MY SISTER AND I DID
WAS OBVIOUSLY VERY DIFFERENT.
AND I REALIZE THAT, AS LONG AS
YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SAY
BAD THINGS ABOUT YOU.
- LIKE, YOU JUST LOSE ALL FAITH
IN HUMANITY
WHEN YOU SEE SOMEBODY JUST THAT
CAN ACTUALLY, LIKE, DO THAT.
I MEAN, THAT'S ALL...
I MEAN, THAT'S...
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALL...
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT IT.
- WE CHOOSE
TO SURROUND OURSELVES
WITH PEOPLE THAT KNOW US
INSIDE AND OUT
AND KNOW WHO WE ARE.
AND EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE
MAY SEE SOMETHING
OR HEAR SOMETHING AND GO,
"OH, I WONDER,"
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE,
BUT YOU DO CARE A LITTLE BIT,
AND IT HURTS.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- COMING UP...
- YESTERDAY I'M GETTING CHASED
DOWN IN CALABASAS
BY THE PAPARAZZI,
SAYING KYLE RICHARDS
IS CALLING ME A BULLY.
- SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THOSE THINGS.
- WELL, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY.
- THOSE ARE CUTE.
- OH, THESE ARE CUTE.
- DO YOU WANT TO BORROW THOSE?
- YEAH.
- CHECK MY NEW GLASSES.
- OH, THOSE ARE CUTE.
ARE THOSE FROM THE 1970s?
- NO, THEY'RE
FROM LOUIS VUITTON PURPLE.
- SO I HAVE A QUESTION.
CAN I TAKE SOME HATS TO LONDON?
- HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO CARRY THAT?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST...
- YOU STUFF IT WITH SOCKS
SO IT DOESN'T GO IN.
- MM...
- OR YOU JUST GET
A PERSONAL HAT BAG.
- ARE YOU STEALING
ANOTHER T-SHIRT?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
- [gasps] GIGI!
- IT'S CUTE WHEN YOU HAVE GIRLS
THE SAME SIZE AS YOU ARE,
SO NOW THEY CAN BORROW THINGS
FROM ME.
BUT...
SOMETIMES
THEY DON'T BRING IT BACK,
SO THAT'S NOT THAT CUTE.
[laughs]
- I WANT THOSE.
- NO, NO, NO.
- [gasps] I TOLD HER... NO!
THOSE ARE MINE ALREADY FIRST,
AND I GET THE ARMY ONES.
- I GOT TO WEAR THEM FIRST
BEFORE I GIVE IT TO YOU.
- YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH OF THOSE.
- CAN I KEEP THOSE LEATHER ONES?
- I WANT THE BOYFRIEND JEANS
SHE ALREADY HAS ON.
- NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
GIGI'S LIFE
IS SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW.
SHE HAS PROM
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,
AND AFTER THAT, SHE'S PACKING
TO GO TO LONDON
ON A PHOTO SHOOT
FOR GRAZIA MAGAZINE.
THOSE ARE MINE. THEY'RE GENUINE.
- THESE ARE LEATHER.
- YEAH, THEY'RE MINE.
- YEAH, THEY'RE MINE NOW.
- [laughs] NO.
IT'S EASY WHEN YOU'RE PACKING
TO GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND,
BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER
STARTS PACKING
FOR HER TRIP TO LONDON
TO GO AND DO A JOB,
IT'S LIKE, "WAIT, WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?"
YOU CANNOT HAVE THIS.
- YEAH, AND YOU CAN DO
THOSE ONES,
WHICH ARE THE CHEAP ONES,
WHICH...
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN'T HAVE
EITHER ONE OF THOSE.
I LOVE YOU BOTH, BUT, NO.
SO WHEN GIGI COMES BACK
FROM LONDON,
SHE'LL HAVE THE REST
OF THE SUMMER TO SPEND
WITH ALL THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
IN HER LIFE,
AND THEN IT'LL BE
THE BIG MOVE TO NEW YORK.
- WOULDN'T YOU RATHER
WE SHOP IN YOUR CLOSET
THAN WITH A CREDIT CARD? - YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I WAS
SUCH A TOUGH-ASS,
BECAUSE I'M REALLY NOT.
I GO TO HER ROOM AND, LIKE, CRY.
LIKE, I MISS HER,
AND SHE HASN'T EVEN LEFT YET.
I'M SO GLAD, GIGI,
THAT YOU ARE MAKING
YOUR OWN SHOPPING MONEY NOW.
- YEAH, GIRL.
- AND, BELLA...
- I TALKED TO MY BANKER
THE OTHER DAY.
ISN'T THAT WEIRD? - YOU DID?
- YEAH, SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S LIKE...
- OH, DID SHE RECEIVE
YOUR CHECKS?
- YEAH.
- YOUR DEPOSITS?
- AND SHE'S LIKE, "HOW MUCH DO
YOU WANT IN YOUR SAVINGS?"
AND I WAS LIKE... I FELT SO COOL.
I WAS LIKE, "YOU CAN PUT
HALF IN THERE."
FELT SO COOL.
- YOU SAID... THAT IS SO CUTE.
- SHE'S LIKE, "THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MISS HADID."
I WAS LIKE,
"YOU'RE WELCOME, MISS BANKER."
- [laughs] MISS BANKER.
THAT IS SO CUTE.
- IT WAS REALLY COOL.
- I'M PRETTY SURE I HAVE, LIKE,
$8 TO MY NAME, SO...
SO I'M GONNA START
WITH THAT CAREER THING.
- I HAVE RAISED ALL MY KIDS
IN A VERY REALISTIC WAY,
EVEN THOUGH THEY LIVE
A VERY PRIVILEGED LIFE.
- CAN WE VIDEO-CHAT EVERY DAY?
- MM-HMM.
LOVE YOU.
- OKAY, LOVE YOU GUYS.
- OKAY, MOMMY, I GOT IT.
THANK YOU, LOVE YOU. - OKAY.
- BYE.
- BYE.
I'VE ALWAYS GAVE THEM
REALITY CHECKS
AND HOPEFULLY RAISED
REALLY INDEPENDENT CHILDREN
THAT WORK.
THEY NEED TO MAKE
THEIR OWN MONEY
AND LEARN TO SURVIVE
ON THEIR OWN.
- CAN I HAVE THIS MAKEUP THING?
- NO, NO, NO.
- THANK YOU.
- COME HERE!
- DARLING, I'VE GOT
A MEETING AT 7:00.
I CAN'T MESS ABOUT.
- QUICKLY.
- I'VE GOT A MEETING AT 7:00.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- THE GUYS ARE HERE.
- DARLING, I'VE GOT A MEETING.
I CAN'T MESS ABOUT.
IF YOU WANT TO CUT ROSES
AND STUFF,
YOU GO DO THEM ON YOUR OWN.
- I LOVE TO SURPRISE LISA...
I MADE A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.
- WHAT?
- THIS.
- [gasps] THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
- BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS SAYS
SHE DOESN'T NEED ANYTHING
AND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING.
[whistling]
COME ON, PIKACHU! PIKACHU!
COME ON!
PIKACHU, COME ON!
COME ON, COME ON!
- OH, YOU SEXY BOY!
OH, NO!
OH, YOU... OH!
[gasping]
OH, OH, OH, OH!
OH, WOULD IT BE WRONG...
WOULD IT BE WRONG
TO HAVE PUPPY SEX NOW?
OH, I LOVE YOU!
WELCOME!
MWAH, MWAH, MWAH, MWAH.
KEN HAS SURPRISED ME.
HE KNOWS THE BEST WAY
TO MY HEART
IS NOT THROUGH JEWELRY...
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT IS AS WELL.
LET'S SCRATCH THAT.
IT'S PUPPIES.
I'M DOG CRAZY.
WE HAVE FOUR.
AND NOW, SUDDENLY,
WE HAVE A NEW FOUR-LEGGED,
BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME MAN.
OH, OH, OH, I LOVE HIM.
- BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE?
- OH, MY GOD, GIGGY'S GONNA HAVE
A HEART ATTACK.
- [laughs]
YEAH. YEAH.
HEY, DON'T EAT THAT.
- OH, HE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE?
WE WORSHIP OUR DOGS.
WE DON'T LOVE THEM.
WE ABSOLUTELY WORSHIP THEM.
I THINK THEY'RE OUR
REPLACEMENT CHILDREN, YOU KNOW?
IN FACT, I THINK PROBABLY
WE EVEN TREAT THEM BETTER
THAN OUR CHILDREN.
OH, GOOD LORD.
OKAY, LET ME INTRODUCE HIM.
OKAY, GIGGY.
GOOD BOY.
THIS IS GIGGY, OKAY?
- DON'T BE SCARED, GIGGY, BABY.
DON'T BE SCARED.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, GIGGY?
I'VE CALLED HIM RUMPY-PUMPY,
WHICH MEANS KIND OF PLAYFUL SEX,
WHICH GOES VERY WELL
WITH GIGOLO.
AND THEN I JUST LOOKED IT UP
IN THE URBAN DICTIONARY,
AND APPARENTLY
RUMPY-PUMPY MEANS BUTT SEX.
YOU'RE STILL THE MAN.
SO EVERY TIME I'M CALLING
"RUMPY-PUMPY"
OUT THE WINDOW,
PEOPLE ARE THINKING
I'M SHOUTING "BUTT SEX".
YOU'RE THE MA... [dog growls]
GET AWAY FROM ME.
I'M SO NOT INTERESTED
IN YOU RIGHT NOW.
GO ON, SAY HELLO.
[dog growls]
- OH, LOOK AT HIS TONGUE.
- AW.
YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE, OKAY?
- HEY, KIM.
- WELL, HI, REX. HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU READY FOR YOUR BIG DAY?
- OF COURSE.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- ARE YOU READY FOR ME?
- UH, YEAH.
- ARE YOU READY FOR THEM?
- WE'RE THE CIRCUS.
WE'RE READY FOR ANYTHING.
- OKAY... I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVEN'T MET MY FRIENDS YET.
IT'S CIRCUS DAY,
AND I'M REALLY EXCITED.
I'M READY TO BE A CIRCUS STAR.
[laughs]
HI! - HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NERVOUS.
[laughs] - NERVOUS?
- YEAH, I HAVE A LITTLE KINK
IN MY NECK.
- OH, NO.
- SO I'M A LITTLE...
I TRIED TO...
- WELL, ONCE WE HANG YOU
UPSIDE DOWN,
IT SHOULD COME RIGHT OUT.
- [laughs] OKAY.
SOMETHING WILL, FOR SURE.
- YEAH.
- HOPEFULLY NOT MY BREAKFAST.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
- GET READY!
- [laughs] OH.
- OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO GOOD.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- HI, GUYS.
- HI.
- HEY, KIM, HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, BEAUTIFUL.
- HI, LOVE.
HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK SO PRETTY
IN THAT COLOR.
- THANKS.
- IT'S 'CAUSE SHE'S DUTCH.
IT MATCHES HER EYEBALLS.
- I HAVEN'T HAD
A CONVERSATION WITH KIM
SINCE THE LAST TIME, YOU KNOW,
WHEN SHE KIND OF SIDED
WITH HER SISTER
IN JUST SAYING THAT
I SAID BAD THINGS ABOUT LISA.
SHE WASN'T TALKING
BEHIND YOUR BACK.
- SHE WAS, YOLANDA.
- SHE WAS NOT TALKING...
- YOLANDA! YOLANDA!
- SHE WAS RIGHT THERE
IN THE ROOM!
- STOP. THE NIGHT BEFORE,
SHE WAS TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
AT DINNER.
- SHE WASN'T.
- AND YOU SAID,
"SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.
SHE'S FULL OF [bleep]."
- I FEEL LIKE SHE KIND OF,
YOU KNOW,
STABBED ME IN THE BACK.
- I'M A LITTLE UPSET
WITH YOUR SISTER RIGHT NOW.
- OH, NOT TODAY.
- I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
- TODAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
- YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST.
- I JUST WON'T TALK
TO HER, THEN.
- AW.
- AW. WHY?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHY CAN'T WE JUST ALL HAVE
FUN TOGETHER?
- I WILL. NO, I WILL.
I'M JUST REALLY...
LIKE, I FELT LIKE I WAS...
I HAD GIVEN HER A HEADS-UP
ABOUT A COUPLE THINGS
THAT WERE COMING OUT,
STORIES WRITTEN ABOUT HER
HUSBAND THAT WERE COMING OUT.
LIKE, AS GIRLS,
LIKE, A GIRL'S GIRL,
I GAVE HER A HEADS-UP ABOUT IT.
AND THEN YESTERDAY I'M GETTING
CHASED DOWN IN CALABASAS
BY THE PAPARAZZI,
SAYING KYLE RICHARDS
IS CALLING ME A BULLY.
- THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE
TOUTING THE WORD BULLY...
- RIGHT.
- IN THE KYLE RICHARDS
SITUATION.
- SHE IS A BULLY?
- NO, YOU'RE THE BULLY,
APPARENTLY.
- THERE'S NO BULLYING ABOUT IT.
AND I'M LIKE, "REALLY?
"I'M THE ONE THAT TOLD HER
THESE STORIES WERE COMING OUT
SO SHE COULD TRY
TO GET THEM SQUASHED."
- OKAY, BUT...
- AND IN FRONT OF MY KIDS,
CALLING ME A BULLY,
AND MY KIDS ARE LIKE...
- BUT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE,
THEY MAKE UP STUFF,
AND WE DON'T KNOW
THAT THAT REALLY HAPPENED.
SO TODAY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
IS HAVE FUN.
TODAY IS...
- I KNOW, BUT WE CAN'T KEEP
PRETENDING, EITHER,
THAT EVERYTHING IS GOOD.
- IT'S NOT PRETENDING, YOLANDA.
TODAY WE'RE HERE... NO, IT IS.
IT'S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE...
- WE DON'T EVEN KNOW.
THE PAPARAZZI MAKES
A LOT OF STUFF UP.
SO TODAY
WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO...
TODAY IS ABOUT US ALL
BONDING TODAY
AND SPENDING TIME TOGETHER
AND TRYING TO PUT
SOME STUFF ASIDE
AND WORK ON FRIENDSHIPS.
- I KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
YOU NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO MOVE ON.
- WELL, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY.
- COMING UP...
- YES, HOLD THERE. HOLD THERE.
- BRANDI, COME ON,
YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
- SHE'S HERE.
- HI.
- HELLO!
- THANK YOU. HOW COOL.
- HI!
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU, PRETTY?
- I'M GOOD.
[smooches]
OH, MY GOODNESS.
- WOW.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOD.
WHERE ARE THE WILD ANIMALS
AT THE CIRCUS?
HERE THEY ARE!
- WELL, YOU'RE LOOKING AT THEM.
WE WAITED FOR YOU.
- SORRY.
- I KNOW REX HAS
A LITTLE PLAN OF HIS OWN,
BUT I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE
A GREAT EXPERIENCE
FOR ALL OF US,
'CAUSE, ONE, IT'S FUN,
AND THERE'S SOME
TRUST-BUILDING EXERCISES.
- THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK
IN THIS GROUP.
- OH, GOD. [laughter]
- AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO ASK
THAT TODAY WE PUT ALL OF OUR...
LEAVE ALL OF OUR STUFF OUTSIDE.
- WHAT STUFF?
- JUST ANY STUFF THAT WE HAVE
WITH ONE ANOTHER...
- PURSES, WALLETS...
- WE LEAVE IT ALL
OUTSIDE THE DOOR...
THAT WE... - EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
- ANYTHING WE HAVE...
- HAS SOMEBODY GOT
EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE?
- WE LEAVE IT ALL OUTSIDE,
AND THAT WE REALLY TRY TODAY
TO HAVE FUN
AND ENJOY EACH OTHER,
THAT WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER TODAY
AND KIND OF...
- JUST TODAY. KIDDING.
- RIGHT, BUT YOU'RE SCARING ME.
LIKE, THIS IS
A REAL SERIOUS THING.
WE'RE JUST GONNA, LIKE,
HAVE SOME FUN IN HERE, RIGHT?
- HER SPEECH
IS A LITTLE SERIOUS.
- I KNOW. LET'S JUST HAVE FUN.
AND WE'RE, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE ADULT WOMEN,
SO LET'S JUST GO FOR IT.
- WELL, YOLANDA,
YOU'RE BEING RUDE...
I THINK.
YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME...
I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY...
- WE GOT IT.
- OH, WOW.
- YOU'VE REPEATED YOURSELF
THREE TIMES, SO WE GOT IT.
- YOU SAID THAT
WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY
TODAY, SO THAT WAS...
- YEAH, LET'S BE HAPPY.
- BY THE WAY,
I HAVEN'T HEARD MY SISTER
SAY ONE THING.
I JUST HEARD... THAT'S
THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD IT.
- I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO SEE HER, YOU KNOW,
FEELING HER BEANS
AND STICKING TO HER SOBRIETY.
BUT WITH THAT SAID,
I DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD
HOW TO BEHAVE.
- LET'S HEAR HER OUT,
BECAUSE SHE ORGANIZED IT FOR US.
- WE'RE LISTENING.
- [sighs]
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT.
- I AM.
- OH, BLOODY HELL. REALLY?
I JUST WANT TO GO CLIMB
AND SWING ON SOMETHING.
I REALLY DO.
- WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, MY GOD,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
- YOU JUST SAID LET'S HAVE FUN,
SO LET'S HAVE FUN.
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA...
- THIS IS WHAT
I WAS TELLING YOU.
- UGH.
WHAT?
I'M SAYING, YOU JUST SAID
LET'S LEAVE THE DRAMA BEHIND,
AND THEN YOU JUST SAID
SHE WAS RUDE.
- BUT SHE IS.
- SHE WASN'T.
- I JUST WANT TO GET GOING.
- YOU ARE...
NO, EVEN WHEN YOU FIRST CAME IN.
REALLY, I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO HAVE FUN.
I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THIS
A FUN EXPERIENCE
AND, YOU KNOW... SO THAT'S IT.
- SHE SAID NO DRAMA,
AND THEN SHE YELLS AT YOLANDA.
[laughs] I MEAN, COME ON, LADY!
GONNA SHAKE HER
LIKE A LITTLE BABY DOLL.
- HEY, COME ON
OVER HERE WITH ME,
AND I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THE SPACE.
TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES NOW,
AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU
A LITTLE BIT, I'LL SHOW YOU
AROUND A LITTLE BIT,
AND THEN WE'LL GET STARTED.
- OH, BOY.
- COME ON.
WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?
- SHE CAME IN HERE LIKE THAT.
- LIKE WHAT?
- AND, HONESTLY...
- THEY'RE DOING MEAN GIRLS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY LIKE TO DO.
MY SISTER INVITED
ALL OF US HERE.
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE A NICE DAY.
FOR SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE
SUCH HIGH STANDARDS OF EVERYONE,
YOLANDA IS NOT BEHAVING
VERY POLITELY.
- SO WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
THAT'S THE FIRST THING.
I KNOW I'VE SAID THAT
A BUNCH ALREADY,
BUT I'LL SAY IT OFFICIALLY NOW.
CIRQUE SCHOOL
IS A TRAINING FACILITY
FOR BOTH PROFESSIONALS
AND FOR RECREATION AND FOR FUN,
WHICH YOU GUYS ARE HERE TO DO.
AND WE SUPPLY CIRCUS SKILLS
FOR FUN AND FITNESS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE COME HERE
AS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY
OF GETTING PHYSICALLY FIT,
SO THEY'RE ENGAGING THEIR MINDS
AND THEIR HEARTS AS ARTISTS
WHILE THEY'RE GETTING
THEIR BODIES PHYSICALLY FIT.
- I HOPE THERE'S
NO [bleep] CLOWNS.
I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF CLOWNS.
- SO YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE
UNDERNEATH.
WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU
GET YOUR LEGS THROUGH
INTO A PIKE POSITION.
IF YOU FEEL SETTLED THERE,
KNEES ON,
HEELS TO YOUR BOOTY
THE WHOLE TIME,
AND RELEASE
AND OPEN THE HANDS OUT.
FIRST YOU'RE GONNA HANG,
STRAIGHT ARMS.
YES, AND YOU'RE GONNA GET...
- CAN I JUST GO
STRAIGHT INTO MY THING?
- PERFECT, MM-HMM. FEET ON.
I'M GONNA HELP YOU WITH IT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- NOW WHAT?
- BEAUTIFUL.
- WAIT. I NEED HELP. I'M DONE.
- YOU OKAY?
- [snickering]
- BEAUTIFUL.
USE YOUR FLEXIBILITY.
GO TO A PIKE POSITION.
FIND YOUR BALANCE AND PIKE.
- BRANDI'S PROBABLY GOT
A SWING IN HER BEDROOM...
TRUST ME.
- [laughs]
- SHE HAS, I'M TELLING YOU.
ASK HER IF SHE'S EVER HAD ONE.
I BET SHE'LL SAY YES.
- I ACTUALLY WANT TO GET
A SWING, I SWEAR TO GOD.
- YEAH.
- I'D LOVE IT.
- [squeals, laughs]
- YES, HOLD THERE. HOLD THERE.
- BRANDI, COME ON,
YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
- ENOUGH! WE GET IT!
I'M A WHORE.
UNFORTUNATELY,
I'M NOT GETTING LAID,
SO IT DOESN'T WORK OUT.
- YES, AND HOLD AN "L" SIT.
- GOOD JOB.
- HERE, HOLD. THREE, TWO, ONE.
[laughter, applause]
- WHOA!
- VERY GOOD JOB, WOMEN.
WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON
TO THE NEXT ELEMENT,
WHICH IS GOING TO BE THE FABRIC.
- I'M IN.
- OKAY, COME ON OVER.
ALL RIGHT, SO, LADIES,
GRAB A FABRIC,
ONE TO EACH FABRIC.
- IS IT REALLY STRENUOUS?
- I'M GONNA HELP YOU.
- OKAY.
- IT'S NOT GONNA BE HARD AT ALL.
TAKE YOUR RIGHT LEG,
AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA GO
AROUND THE FABRIC
AND HOLD YOUR LEG UP
IN A RIGHT ANGLE LIKE THIS.
YES, THAT'S PERFECT.
HOOK THE FOOT AROUND.
EXACTLY RIGHT.
- OH!
- JUST LIKE THAT.
- OKAY.
- SO BRING THAT OTHER FOOT UP
AND STAND.
- I'M GONNA LET GO OF MY HAND,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE
BY YOURSELF.
- I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN...
- OKAY.
- AM I GOING TO GET ROPE BURN?
- LIKE A FIREMAN.
- GOOD.
- I LIKEY, I LIKEY.
- YOU THINK A LITTLE SHEET'S
GONNA HOLD ME UP?
- YES! IF IT CAN HOLD
MY 180 POUNDS, GIRL,
IT CAN HOLD YOU.
- IT'S CHOPPING OFF MY TWEETER.
- SO NOW... [laughter]
- WHAT THAT COULD BE PULLING OFF
IS VERY IMPORTANT.
[laughs]
- PITCH YOURSELF FORWARD
SO YOU'RE IN A BACK STRADDLE.
YES, EXCELLENT.
- WHAT AM I DOING?
- GOOD.
I KNOW THIS HURTS.
DOESN'T IT HURT A LOT?
- I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE
A CINCH...
LIKE, A CINCH, LIKE, WOW,
I'M GONNA GET THIS,
IN THE BACK POCKET, DOWN.
NOT THAT EASY...
[laughs] FOR SURE.
- BEAUTIFUL. VERY NICE.
- I FEEL LIKE...
- CAREFUL!
- I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT
HANGING AT THE BUTCHER.
- OH, YES!
- DOESN'T THAT FEEL NICE?
- YES, IT ACTUALLY DOES.
- 'CAUSE YOUR ASS
IS HOLDING YOU UP.
- SHE HAS A GREAT BUTT.
- I'M USED TO HANGING
UPSIDE DOWN IN THE FABRICS.
THAT'S NORMALLY WHAT WE DO
WITH OUR SHEETS AT NIGHT
IN THE BEDROOM.
- WE'RE GONNA DO SILLY CIRCUS
TRICK NUMBER ONE.
IT'S CALLED "RIDE THE TRAIN,
HAIL THE TAXI."
- OH, YEAH. OKAY.
- I'M ALREADY TIRED.
- BALLS IN FRONT OF YOU.
UN, DEUX, TROIS,
SLIDE.
[squeals and laughter]
- OOH!
- BLOODY HELL.
- YOU'RE ALREADY
A PROFESSIONAL, MY DEAR.
YOU'RE ALREADY A PRO.
- IT'S SO NICE TO SEE
THAT WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER
AND JUST HAVE SOME FUN.
THEY GET TO LAUGH
AND ENJOY THEMSELVES.
THEY, TOO, WILL GROW
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE...
IF THEY LET IT HAPPEN.
- WHEN I FIRST CAME IN,
I SAW KIM,
AND WE WERE ALL FINE AND GOOD,
AND I JUST SAID, "YOU KNOW,
I HAVE A BONE TO PICK.
YESTERDAY I WAS IN CALABASAS
WITH THE KIDS..."
- YEAH.
- "AND THERE'S, LIKE, PAPARAZZI
CHASING ME AROUND,
SAYING, 'WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF KYLE RICHARDS
CALLING YOU A BULLY?'"
- OH...
- AND I WAS LIKE...
AND MY KIDS ARE LIKE,
"ARE YOU A BULLY?"
AND IT WAS JUST
REALLY EMBARRASSING.
- RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
- AND I SAID, "ABSOLUTELY NOT."
- THIS IS IN THE PRESS?
- YEAH.
AND SO I SAID...
- AND I WAS INCLUDED IN IT
AS WELL.
- YOU WERE INCLUDED.
AND I SAID...
- BUT HOW DID ALL THAT COME
FROM HER?
- ME TOO.
- OH.
- THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID
SHE WAS...
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
THEY SAID SHE SAID.
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IT WAS IN FRONT OF MY KIDS.
ALL I DID WAS GIVE HER
A HEADS-UP
ABOUT TWO ARTICLES COMING OUT.
I WAS BEING A GIRL'S GIRL.
I WASN'T...
- BUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID,
YOU KNOW,
THE WORD "BULLYING"
YOU USE VERY CAREFULLY.
THAT'S A VERY SERIOUS WORD.
- AND FOR THEM TO SAY IT
IN FRONT OF MY KIDS...
- YOU DON'T JUST SAY
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE CACKLING.
I MEAN, WE'RE, LIKE,
A BUNCH OF ADULT WOMEN.
WE DON'T BULLY EACH OTHER.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- WELL, GUESS WHAT.
SHE'S NOT GETTING
ANY MORE FAVORS FROM ME.
I KNOW A LOT OF [bleep]
THAT'S COMING OUT.
SHE'S GONNA CALL ME A BULLY
FOR HELPING HER OUT?
HELP IS DONE.
DONE AND DONE.
I FEEL LIKE I WAS GIVING HER
A HEADS-UP ON THINGS
THAT COULD POTENTIALLY HURT
HER FAMILY.
AND I FEEL LIKE SHE OWES ME
A THANK-YOU AT LEAST.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK
THAT CALLING ME A BULLY
IN THE PRESS
OR HAVING SOMEONE ELSE DO IT
IS "THANK YOU."
I THINK IT'S "[bleep] YOU."
- JUST SO YOU KNOW,
FOR THE RECORD,
I NEVER CALLED YOU A...
I NEVER SAID THAT.
I NEVER SAID ANYTHING,
NEVER TOLD ANYBODY.
- BUT YESTERDAY WITH MY KIDS,
THEY WERE RUNNING AFTER ME,
AND THEY WERE LIKE,
"SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT KYLE RICHARDS
CALLING YOU A BULLY?"
- I'VE NEVER SAID THAT
TO ANYBODY.
- WE DIDN'T KNOW
THAT HE WAS CHEATING.
WE ALL SAID, "WE DON'T THINK
HE'S CHEATING."
SO THAT'S NOT ME BEING A BULLY.
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT, THOUGH.
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I NEVER SAID THAT.
- WELL, IT JUST SUCKS, 'CAUSE IT
WAS IN FRONT OF MY KIDS,
AND I WAS JUST LIKE...
- I CAN IMAGINE.
BUT I NEVER SAID THAT.
- I'D BEEN HELPING YOU.
- I DID NOT.
- OKAY.
- JUST SO YOU KNOW.
- WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD
THAT CONVERSATION,
'CAUSE I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M TRYING TO BE
A FRIEND TO YOU.
- I'VE NEVER SAID THAT.
I NEVER USED THOSE WORDS.
- OKAY. OKAY.
- SO...
- GOOD. SO TELL MY KIDS.
- [clears throat]
WHAT ARE WE DOING NOW?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
HERE I WAS, THE ONE WHO LEFT
CARLTON'S LUNCH
HURT AND UPSET
THAT THE GIRLS HAD BROUGHT UP
THE LIES IN THE TABLOIDS,
AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I'M HAVING TO GO UP TO BRANDI
AND EXPLAIN
AND APOLOGIZE TO HER?
I NEVER SAID THOSE THINGS.
- ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO
ONE LAST ACTIVITY.
LADIES, HAVE A QUICK LITTLE LOOK
BEFORE YOU DO THIS.
THEY ARE GONNA ROLL
AT THE SAME TIME TO THE RIGHT.
LAUREN AND I ARE GONNA JUMP
AT THE SAME TIME
TO THE LEFT, AND THEN WE WILL...
WE WILL REPEAT.
- I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE JUMPING
OVER MY BACK.
- READY, THREE, TWO, ONE,
ROLL, JUMP!
- [laughs]
- OH!
- THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
OKAY?
- FOR SURE, I'M GONNA BE
STOMPED ON
WITH A STILETTO.
CONVINCED.
- CARLTON, WILL YOU JUMP ON ME?
- WHAT? NO.
I'M NOT BLOODY ROLLING.
- OH, ROLLING.
NO, I'M SAYING YOU CAN JUMP,
AND I'LL BE A ROLLER.
- OH, I CAN... RIGHT, YEAH,
I CAN JUMP OVER YOU.
- I'LL BE A ROLLER I JUST WANT...
- YES, THANK YOU!
- I JUST WANT TO PICK
WHO JUMPS ON ME.
- WHEN IT COMES TO, YOU KNOW,
TRUST FACTOR WITH THESE WOMEN,
I WOULDN'T TRUST THEM
AS FAR AS I CAN THROW THEM.
- IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF TRUST.
- I DON'T. [laughs, mutters]
- DO WE HAVE TWO MORE PEOPLE
WHO'D BE WILLING TO DO THIS?
I DON'T THINK THIS IS
A VERY TRUSTWORTHY GROUP.
- YES, I CAN DO IT.
- SUPER PRO. THANK YOU.
- OKAY.
- I'LL JUMP.
- CARLTON...
- YES, MY LOVE?
- THE BRITS STICK TOGETHER.
YOU BETTER GET IT RIGHT.
- YES.
- THREE, TWO, ONE,
ROLL, JUMP! - YES!
[cheers and applause]
- OTHER DIRECTION.
THREE, TWO, ONE, ROLL, JUMP!
- YES.
- YAY!
THAT'S IT! YOU DID IT.
GOOD JOB. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BRAVO.
- TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN
A LOT MORE FUN
IF I HADN'T WALKED
INTO THAT ROOM
AND FELT THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY.
IT DEFINITELY AFFECTED THE MOOD.
- WE ARE GONNA BE
SO SORE TOMORROW.
- OKAY, I LOVE YOU, GIRLS.
- YOU MIGHT NOT BE.
- YOU GOT TO GO?
- YEAH, I GOT TO RUN
BECAUSE PROM IS IN AN HOUR,
AND THERE'S SO MUCH TRAFFIC
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.
- TEXT ME IF YOU GO.
- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- BYE, SWEETHEART.
- SEND ME PICS.
- ARE YOU NOT COMING FOR DINNER?
- HER DAUGHTERS HAVE PROM.
- OH, RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
- GIGI AND BELLA HAVE PROM.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
- I'LL SEND YOU PICTURES.
- YES, SEND THEM MY LOVE.
- OH, MY BACK.
- BYE. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- BYE. YOU TOO.
- WELL, HAVE FUN.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.
- MM-HMM.
- AND WE DID GOOD, NO?
- I THINK YOU ALL DID GREAT.
- WE WERE VERY WELL BEHAVED.
- I THINK YOU...
- GOOD.
- DID YOUR BEST.
[chuckles]
- WELL, MY BEST
IS PRETTY GOOD...
I THINK.
- THE BOTTOM LINE
WITH YOLANDA IS
EVERY TIME I COME IN THE ROOM,
IT'S LIKE PUTTING
A BIG FLAME TORCH BETWEEN US
AND A, YOU KNOW, ICKY VIBE.
AND THE FACE ISN'T NICE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
- BYE, GUYS.
- COMING UP...
- IT JUST SUCKS
TO BE CALLED A BULLY
IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
- ENOUGH OF THIS MEAN,
MEAN TALKING
AND MEAN... I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- HEY, GUYS, DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO TAKE
A PICTURE HERE
OR WAIT TILL WE GET THERE?
IN MY CULTURE,
WE DON'T HAVE PROM,
AND IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE GIGI...
THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IT,
BOTH GIGI AND BELLA.
AND I DON'T QUITE GET THE PROM.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT IT MEANS.
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL, BELLA.
- THANKS, MOM.
- YOU LOOK GORG...
I LOVE YOUR HAIR.
THE HAIR, THE DRESS, THE SHOES,
THE MAKEUP, THE FLOWERS,
THE LIMOS...
IT'S EXTRAVAGANT
AND A BIT OBNOXIOUS,
TO BE HONEST.
[indistinct chatter]
THAT IS SO CUTE.
[camera shutter clicks]
- THE SUN IS KILLING ME.
- SMILE!
[camera shutter clicks]
- IT'S GOING A LITTLE QUICK
ALL OF A SUDDEN.
YOU HAVE 18 YEARS,
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
IN THE SAME MONTH,
EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT ONCE.
I'M JUST HANGING ON
FOR DEAR LIFE, BABY.
- OKAY.
VERY GOOD.
[camera shutter clicks]
- IT'S A BIT CHILLY.
- I LOVE THIS ABOUT CALIFORNIA.
EVERYBODY'S TANNING.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- EVERYBODY'S LOOKING GREAT,
JUST BEAUTIFUL.
- EVERYBODY'S, LIKE,
HANDSOME AND PRETTY.
- SERIOUSLY, RIGHT?
IT'S, LIKE,
A BIT A REQUISITE, RIGHT?
- IT IS A PREREQUISITE.
- TO COME HERE.
- I'M STARVING, HUH?
- I'M DYING.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF TODAY?
- I LOVED IT.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT.
- IT WAS ACTUALLY
QUITE DIFFICULT,
TO BE HONEST.
- IT WAS DIFFICULT.
- IT WAS SUPER HARD.
- DID EVERYBODY HAVE FUN
AND ENJOY THEMSELVES AND...
- MM-HMM.
- I DID.
- YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS FUN.
I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY GOOD FUN.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK
I'D DO IT AGAIN,
BUT I THINK IT WAS FUN
FOR THAT TIME.
- I WOULD DO IT WITH MY KIDS.
- I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.
- IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN.
- WOULD YOU?
- I WOULDN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.
- YEAH, WITH THE KIDS. EXACTLY.
- [sighs] DID YOU SAY GOOD-BYE
TO YOLANDA?
- I DID.
- WHAT'D YOU SAY TO HER?
- UM...
GOOD-BYE. - THAT WAS IT?
THAT WAS REALLY AWKWARD.
I JUST DIDN'T SEE THE POINT.
IT'S LIKE
WE WERE JUST GETTING THERE,
AND EVERYONE BEING NICE
AND SAYING HI,
AND THEN I DON'T GET
WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO...
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M DONE TRYING
TO FIGURE IT OUT.
- I THINK FOR ME TODAY,
IT GOT A LITTLE HEAVY AND TENSE.
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW,
AND THAT MADE ME FEEL...
I MEAN, I WASN'T QUITE SURE
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
I DIDN'T THINK YOLANDA
WAS BEING RUDE, THOUGH.
- DID I MISS SOMETHING
COMING INTO IT?
- NO, YOU'RE MISSING
YOUR DRINK RIGHT NOW.
- I JUST DIDN'T THINK YOLANDA
WAS BEING MEAN OR RUDE,
BUT I DON'T KNOW
THE HISTORY BETWEEN...
- BUT SOMETIMES
SHE'S VERY DIRECT.
- BUT I DIDN'T THINK...
- I MISSED IT.
- I DIDN'T TAKE THAT
AS RUDENESS, THOUGH.
- NO, WHAT HAPPENED WAS THAT KIM
WAS STILL TALKING,
AND SHE WANTED
TO GO WORK OUT, RIGHT?
- WELL, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
WHEN SHE'S HERE NEXT TIME.
- I AGREE.
- I MEAN, I HATE, LIKE,
HOW WE ALWAYS DO THIS [bleep].
I MEAN, I JUST...
THERE'S NOTHING THAT HAPPENED
THAT WAS NEGATIVE
THAT WENT DOWN.
AND IF SHE THINKS THERE WAS,
LET'S ALL TALK ABOUT IT
WHEN YOLANDA'S AROUND.
- NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE
IS A GROUP THING.
THERE ARE PERSONAL ISSUES
THAT YOU RESOLVE ONE-ON-ONE.
- IT SEEMED LIKE YOU GUYS
WERE OBVIOUSLY TALKING
ABOUT ME WHEN I WASN'T AROUND
BEFORE, THOUGH,
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
- SHE WANTED TO HAVE A CALM DAY,
AND I SAID,
"WELL, I'M A LITTLE UPSET
WITH SOME STUFF THAT HAS GONE
DOWN WITH YOUR SISTER."
IT JUST SUCKS TO BE CALLED
A BULLY
IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
- YOU SHOULD TELL
THE PAPARAZZI THAT.
- I DID.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
- I ABSOLUTELY DID.
- YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM.
THAT'S TERRIBLE. - I DID.
- OBVIOUSLY, THEY'RE MAKING UP
ALL THESE LIES ABOUT EVERYBODY.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA ALL OF A
SUDDEN BELIEVE THAT I SAID THAT?
WHO DO I TALK TO?
I DON'T TALK TO ANYBODY.
I DON'T TALK TO ANY PRESS.
I DON'T DO THAT.
- I FEEL LIKE
IF IT DIDN'T COME FROM KYLE,
IT PROBABLY CAME FROM SOMEONE
THAT HAD KYLE'S BACK
IN A HARD WAY.
SO IT'S SOMEBODY CLOSE TO HER.
BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT I WOULD OBVIOUSLY THINK
THAT THAT WAS COMING
FROM YOUR CAMP,
BECAUSE IT WAS DEFINITELY...
- I DON'T HAVE A CAMP
TO TALK TO PRESS, BRANDI.
I DON'T HAVE A CAMP.
WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT.
I HAVE NO CONTROL
WHAT THE PAPARAZZI SAYS
TO YOU OR TO ME OR TO ANY OF US.
WHY IS SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN
BELIEVING THE PAPARAZZI?
I MEAN, SHE'S BEEN THROUGH
ENOUGH OF THIS
WITH HER DIVORCE,
AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, WHAT?
THEIR WORD IS GOLD?
- IT WOULD SUCK
TO HAVE YOU CALL ME A BULLY...
THAT'S ALL...
WHEN I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
AND SINCE YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T DO IT,
GREAT, I BELIEVE YOU.
- OKAY.
- AND I GUESS WE NEED
TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID DO IT,
'CAUSE IT SUCKS THAT MY CHILDREN
ARE THINKING THAT I'M A BULLY
WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT A BULLY.
- WELL, A LOT OF LIES
OUT THERE SUCK.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- YEAH.
AND CALL ME AND SAY,
"DID YOU SAY THIS?"
AND I'LL BE HAPPY
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
SO LET'S MOVE ON FROM THAT.
- OKAY.
- I MEAN...
LIFE IS TOO SHORT.
WE ALL HAVE, YOU KNOW...
- YEAH, BUT IF IT WAS
A SITUATION,
AND THEY'RE SAYING YOLANDA,
BRANDI, AND I BULLIED YOU,
IT'S VERY SIMPLE
TO TWEET ABOUT IT
AND, LIKE, RESPOND TO IT
AND SAY IT NEVER HAPPENED
LIKE THAT.
AND THEN THE STORY
GOES AWAY, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO.
- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
I HAVE BEEN DEALING
WITH THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE
OF MY LIFE.
AND LISA WANTS ME
TO MAKE A TWEET
DEFENDING THAT I DIDN'T CALL
HER A BULLY?
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU NOT SEE
WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE
OF WHAT WE'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH?
LISA, DO YOU THINK
I CARE ABOUT THAT
WHEN I HAVE THE OTHER PROBLEM?
YOU'RE ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU
BEING TALKED ABOUT.
I'M CONCERNED ABOUT MY FAMILY.
- OKAY.
- LISTEN, SHE TOOK TIME
OUT OF HER BUSY, HECTIC
CHEATING SCANDAL
TO GO TO THE CIRCUS.
YOU CAN SEND A TWEET.
- I'M NOT DEALING WITH THAT.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT THERE AND GO,
"LISA AND..."
I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, NO.
I'M NOT EVEN ADDRESSING
THE OTHER THING RIGHT NOW.
- I WOULD LIKE KYLE
TO HAVE DISMISSED IT
OR DISCREDITED THE STORY
BY JUST TWEETING ABOUT IT.
IT TAKES TWO SECONDS, ONE LINE,
AND IT'S GONE,
ESPECIALLY IF SHE DOESN'T
BELIEVE IT EVER HAPPENED,
AND IT CLEARLY DIDN'T.
WE WERE ALL THERE AT THE LUNCH.
- IT WOULD BE
A REALLY NICE THING
FOR YOU TO SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
BRANDI AND LISA AND YOLANDA
DIDN'T BULLY ME AT LUNCH."
IT WOULD BE REALLY NICE.
I KNOW YOU HAVE BIGGER,
BETTER PROBLEMS.
- I THINK ACTUALLY WHAT YOU DID
WAS NOT NICE.
- "WAS NOT NICE"?
I MEAN, ARE YOU JOKING? [sighs]
- SHE WAS TRYING TO BE HELPFUL.
DO I THINK SHE SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT IT UP AT LUNCH?
NO.
- AFTER I ASKED YOU ABOUT IT,
I SAID, "YEAH, THAT SEEMS LIKE...
I WOULD NEVER THINK
HE WOULD DO THAT."
- SO WE'RE SITTING THERE
AT LUNCH,
HAVING A BEAUTIFUL LUNCH,
AND YOU JUST DECIDE
TO BRING IT UP OUT OF THE BLUE.
- REALLY, KYLE?
- NO, I'M JUST WONDERING.
I MEAN, I'M TELLING YOU
HOW I FEEL.
EVEN LISA SAID
THAT WAS NOT COOL.
- THIS IS ABOUT ME.
- OKAY?
- I SAID IT THEN AND THERE.
- RIGHT.
- WONDERFUL.
- OKAY, SO THAT'S IT.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
- BUT I DID IT TO HELP YOU.
IT WAS ALREADY A MAGAZINE STORY
OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.
- THE HEADS-UP WAS TO HELP ME,
BUT NOT AT THE LUNCH.
THAT DOESN'T HELP ME.
- I JUST WANT...
I WANT HER TO WAKE UP
AND SMELL THE [bleep] ROSES.
THE REALITY IS IT'S ON
NEWSSTANDS ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
WE ALL KNOW.
WE ALL TALKED ABOUT IT.
SO YOU WANT IN ON THE CONVO,
OR YOU WANT US TO KEEP TALKING
BEHIND YOUR BACK?
I DON'T ROLL THAT WAY.
- THE POINT IS,
I DON'T WANT TO SIT HERE
AND ARGUE WITH YOU.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE DAY.
I WANTED TO ADDRESS THE FACT
THAT I NEVER SAID THAT.
SO, WHEN THE PAPARAZZI TALKS
ABOUT THAT, YOU CAN TEXT ME.
- THEN JUST DEFUSE IT.
- NO, NO, NO.
I'M TALKING TO BRANDI RIGHT NOW.
- OH, GOD,
THAT WAS SO RUDE AGAIN.
IT'S ALL OF US HAVING
A CONVERSATION.
- I'M TRYING TO TALK TO BRANDI.
- IT'S A CONVERSATION, DARLING.
YOU SAY SOMETHING,
I SAY SOMETHING.
- I KNOW, BUT LET ME FINISH
MY SENTENCE.
- OKAY, YOU'RE TALKING
TO BRANDI,
SO I WON'T DEFEND YOU
IN THE FUTURE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I WON'T.
- SO MY POINT IS...
- CARRY ON, DARLING.
- JUST TEXT ME AND ASK ME,
AND I'LL BE HAPPY
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
ENOUGH OF THIS MEAN,
MEAN TALKING
AND MEAN... I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- COMING UP...
- IF I'M ON MY PERIOD,
I'M A TOTAL BITCH.
SO SOMETIMES I GET UPSET.
- SO YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD NOW?
- [laughs]
- ACTUALLY, LISA,
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
- YEAH, SURE.
- [laughs]
- I KNOW, RIGHT? OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ME PRIVATELY...
- I JUST DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT
A BIGGER THING,
REALLY BIG GOSSIP. - RIGHT.
- SO I HATE GOSSIP,
SO I CAN TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE.
- MM-HMM.
- YOU WERE SO RUDE TO ME
THE FIRST TIME...
- WHEN?
- AT CARLTON'S LUNCH.
- WHAT DID I DO?
- I WAS JUST FIXING YOUR HAIR...
- AND I SAID I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
- I HAVE TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE,
BECAUSE I'M NOT
A TWO-FACED PERSON.
- RIGHT.
- I HANDLE EVERYTHING
TO YOUR FACE.
- YOU FIXED MY HAIR,
AND I SAID, "I'M OKAY,"
BUT IT WAS FINE.
- NO, IT WASN'T THAT.
EVERYBODY WAS FIXING EACH OTHER,
AND YOU WENT,
"I DON'T CARE!"
AFTER WE FINISHED
EATING LUNCH AT CARLTON'S,
I WAS FIXING BRANDI'S WEAVE,
AND KIM WAS FIXING MY HAIR.
AND LISA HAD A HAIR
IN THE MIDDLE LIKE THIS,
AND I WENT AND F...
I TRIED TO FIX IT,
AND SHE GOES, "UGH!
I DON'T CARE!"
- I SAID, "I DON'T CARE.
YOU KNOW, LEAVE IT."
- IT WASN'T "I DON'T CARE."
- I'M SORRY, DARLING.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.
SO IS THAT YOUR POINT?
- OF COURSE. I WANTED TO...
- BECAUSE I SAID "I DON'T CARE."
- NO, THE REASON WHY I WANT
TO TELL YOU
IS BECAUSE
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT,
SO I DON'T TALK ABOUT...
- WHO'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT?
- BRANDI TALKED ABOUT IT.
YOLANDA TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT
THE OTHER DAY.
YOLANDA BROUGHT IT UP
THAT BRANDI SAID IT.
SO I WANT TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE.
- WELL, JUST SAY IT
IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
WHAT, BECAUSE I SAID, "OH, NO,
LEAVE IT, IT'S FINE"?
- BUT IT WASN'T,
"OH, NO, LEAVE IT."
IT WAS, "UGH, I DON'T CARE."
- OKAY, I DON'T THINK
I'D DO THAT, BUT OKAY.
- IT WAS RUDE.
IT'S VERY SILLY
TO TALK ABOUT IT,
BUT I WOULD NEVER
HAVE BROUGHT THIS UP
HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR BRANDI
AND YOLANDA BRINGING IT UP.
IN MY BOOK, YOU GO TO PEOPLE.
YOU TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU RESOLVE IT, AND YOU MOVE ON.
IT WAS SNAPPY.
- I'M SORRY, DARLING. OKAY.
- IT WAS VERY SNAPPY.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU
TO YOUR FACE,
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO BE TALKING ABOUT IT
WITH OTHER PEOPLE
AND NOT TALK ABOUT IT HERE.
- WHAT, THAT I WOULD SAY,
"OH, NO, I'M FINE"?
- NO, IT'S NOT,
"OH, NO, I'M FINE."
- OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.
- I EVEN TOLD...
I EVEN APOLOGIZED THERE.
- OKAY, WHATEVER.
- I EVEN APOLOGIZED THERE.
I SAID, "I'M SORRY,"
AND EVEN BRANDI TOLD ME.
- WE'VE GOT MAJOR ISSUES
GOING ON OVER THERE.
THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
SO DON'T TRY AND CREATE ONE.
- OH, GOD.
- THAT IT WAS VERY SNAPPY.
NO, ACTUALLY,
MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SAID IT
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT I WAS SNAPPY WITH HER?
- YES.
YES, SHE DID.
- NO, THAT DAY AT CARLTON'S,
YOU WERE, I MEAN...
- YOU WERE SNAPPY.
SHE DID SAY IT.
I MEAN, BRANDI LITERALLY CALLED
ME AND SAID,
"LISA CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE CAN'T TAKE IT."
AND YOLANDA SAID IT TOO.
- THIS IS NOT GOING TO GO WELL.
LET ME GIVE YOU
A LITTLE HEADS-UP, JOYCE...
YOU MAY NOT WANT TO DO THAT.
- THAT LISA DOES NOT TAKE
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM,
THAT SHE CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
- YES, IT WAS.
- WHEN HAVE I GIVEN CRITICISM
TO ANYONE?
- OH, WOW, OKAY.
I TRIED TO GIVE JOYCE
SOME GOOD ADVICE,
AND SHE TURNED ON ME
AND MADE IT SEEM
LIKE I WAS TALKING [bleep],
WHEN I WAS JUST TRYING
TO HELP THAT GIRL OUT.
LESSON LEARNED.
I WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN.
- SORRY IF I WENT LIKE THIS...
"UGH, NO."
I WENT, LIKE, "NO, LEAVE IT."
- WHEN?
- I'M SO CONFUSED.
IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH MY HAIR?
- ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?
- ABOUT WHAT?
- ABOUT ANYTHING.
- WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?
- YEAH, SHE WAS SNAPPY.
- SHE SAID THAT WAS VERY RUDE.
- AND IT HONESTLY CAUGHT ME
OFF GUARD.
AND THEN FOR YOU TO BE...
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU ARE BEING REALLY DRAMATIC
RIGHT NOW.
- RIGHT, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
- SERIOUSLY.
THIS IS BLOODY CHILD'S PLAY.
- IF I'M ON MY PERIOD,
I'M A TOTAL BITCH.
SO SOMETIMES I GET UPSET.
- SO YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD NOW?
- [laughs]
- NEXT TIME
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[excited chatter]
- I'M JUST PROUD OF MY HUSBAND.
I THINK GETTING A STAR
ON THE WALK OF FAME
IS A HUGE DEAL.
- DAVID FOSTER.
[cheers and applause]
- IT'S HERE.
KIMBERLY'S GRADUATING.
[sniffles] SORRY.
- WE'LL DO
AN ACUPUNCTURE SESSION.
- MY CATS DON'T DO FACIALS.
[cat meows]
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
DON'T GET MAD.
- KYLE'S KIND OF DEALING
WITH, YOU KNOW,
THE THING THAT'S GONE DOWN
IN THE PRESS.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE.
I REALLY DON'T.
- MY CHARACTER IS THE ONE
THAT'S BEING ATTACKED RIGHT NOW.
- ONCE THE STORY LEAKED,
AND EVERYONE STARTED
GOING AFTER LISA,
THEN SHE SAYS, "OH, DON'T
BELIEVE ANY OF THE B.S."
TWO MONTHS TOO LATE. - AGREED.
- WHAT IS THAT? [laughter]
OH, MY GOD,
I'M JUST GETTING SCARED!
- I MADE OUT
WITH CARLTON YESTERDAY.