The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 4, Episode 22 - Reunion Part 3 - full transcript

- TONIGHT,

THE REUNION CONCLUDES.

"JOYCE TOLD EVERYONE HER HUSBAND

HAS A BIG PEE-PEE." [laughter]

- IT'S PROBABLY NOT
THE WORST REPUTATION

ON THE PLANET. [all laughing]

- CAN I NOT SPEAK, PLEASE?
- YOU LOVE TO SPEAK

AND BE THE REFEREE.
- OH, MY GOD.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE JUST SAID?

- IF THERE WAS A FIRE BURNING,

THERE'S SCHEANA AND THERE'S ME,



AND YOU COULD SAVE ONE PERSON,

WHO ARE YOU GONNA SAVE?

- SHE'S SITTING HERE CRYING...
- YEAH.

- BECAUSE SHE SAYS
SHE LOVES YOU.

- I'M SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT.

- BRANDI, DO YOU THINK
THERE'S HOPE?

- THAT WAS
A WHOLE [bleep] SEASON

OF LIES ABOUT MY HUSBAND,
WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

- NO.

- I WAS DEFINITELY UPSET
ABOUT THAT.

- THAT WAS A JOKE.

- A JOKE IN FRONT
OF A FIVE-YEAR-OLD?

- I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER
LET YOU BACK INTO MY LIFE.

- WELCOME BACK TO



THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS: REUNION.

I'M ANDY COHEN.

FOR AS LONG AS WE'VE
KNOWN HER, LISA'S LIFE

HAS SEEMED TO BE NOTHING

BUT DIAMONDS AND ROSE.
- OH, PLEASE.

- RECENTLY, THOUGH, HER CLOSEST
FRIENDS BEGAN TO QUESTION

HER MOTIVATIONS,
HER INTENTIONS, AND MORE.

- AM I YOUR HOLLYWOOD FRIEND,

OR AM I A REAL FRIEND? - OKAY.

- ARE WE GIRLFRIENDS,
OR ARE WE "HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS"?

- WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO AGGRESSIVE?

- I'M NOT AGGRESSIVE.
- I TOLD...

- I DON'T LIKE YOU WALKING AWAY.

WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION,
A HEART-TO-HEART.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M REALLY UPSET.

- LISA, WALKING AWAY IS
NOT GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.

- WELL, I DON'T WANT TO STAY.

- LISA'S NEVER ONCE ASKED ME
TO SAY ANYTHING FOR HER.

BUT I WAS STILL
BEING MANIPULATED

INTO DOING AND SAYING THINGS

THAT I DIDN'T
WANT TO [bleep] SAY.

- THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF GOSSIP
IN THE TABLOIDS.

THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES...
- HONEY, YOU CAN'T TAKE...

- THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.

[laughs]

- I HAD THE TABLOIDS
AT MY HOUSE.

LISA PUT IT IN MY LUGGAGE.

SHE GOES,
"YOU NEED TO BRING THIS."

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- YOU'RE CAUGHT. YOU'RE LYING.
YOU'RE CAUGHT.

- I DIDN'T SEE THE TABLOIDS
UNTIL I GOT BACK.

- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING
THAT I SAY IS BEING QUESTIONED,

AND I FEEL THEY'RE JUST,
LIKE, ALL GANGING UP.

[sniffles]

[sighs]

IT'S REALLY HARD.

I DON'T WANT TO CRY.

- YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID,
"BRANDI'S NOT A LIAR.

SHE'S A STRAIGHT SHOOTER.
SHE'S A STRAIGHT SHOOTER."

- WELL, I THOUGHT... YEAH.
- SO NOW, HERE I AM.

AND BRANDI TELLS ME THIS,
AND IT'S A VERY DETAILED STORY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS.

I CAN'T DO THIS EVERY TIME
I COME OUT.

I CANNOT DO THIS. - NO, I KNOW.

BUT WHEN IT WAS YOU AND ME...
- I CAN'T DO THIS.

- WHY DID YOU LEAVE
WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?

- OH, IT'S COMPLICATED.

- YOU COULD'VE TEXTED SOMEONE.

THEY COULD'VE BEEN DEAD
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

I MEAN, YOU JUST LEAVE
A HOTEL ROOM

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WITHOUT LETTING ANYBODY KNOW?

THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- HOW CLOSE ARE YOU GUYS?

- SCHEANA AND I?
- THERE YOU GO, THAT'S RIGHT.

- SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO PANDY
FOR FIVE YEARS.

- JUST REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

IT'S REALLY SAD FOR ME
BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT

OF KEN AND LISA AS MY FAMILY.

I FEEL LIKE WHAT KIND OF GAMES
ARE PEOPLE PLAYING?

WHO GIVES A [bleep]
ABOUT A [bleep] WHORE?

I'M SORRY, I DON'T.

- DARLING, I DON'T SEE HER
LIKE THAT. I'M SORRY.

- SO THEN
WE'RE NOT TRUE FRIENDS.

- SO IT'S A LOT TO GO OVER.

BRANDI, WAS THERE
ONE SPECIFIC MOMENT

WHERE YOU FELT LIKE
THINGS CHANGED

WITH LISA AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP?

- HONESTLY, IT WAS
A LOT OF BUILDUP.

AND WHEN I TOLD HER,
I SAID, "NO MORE SCHEANA,"

AND I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE

WHY IS THIS GIRL ALWAYS AROUND

AFTER I'VE TOLD YOU NO?
LIKE, NO MORE?

LIKE, YOU KEPT
BRINGING HER AROUND.

AND THEN SOMEBODY TOLD ME
THAT KNOWS YOU

THAT THIS WHOLE ENTIRE THING
WAS ALL A BIG, GIANT PLAN.

YOU GUYS, IT'S SO FUNNY.

THE WAITRESS IS THAT GIRL,
SHANNA MARIE, WHATEVER,

THAT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EDDIE
WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.

- YOU'VE WORKED WITH ME
FOR TWO YEARS, RIGHT?

- RIGHT.
- WE'VE NEVER...

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS,

BUT I THINK IT'S EASIER
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE.

- ABSOLUTELY.
- NOW, IS THAT OKAY?

- NO, I TOTALLY AGREE.
- IS THAT OKAY?

- YEAH.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"A GIANT PLAN"?

I HARDLY KNEW YOU.

WHEN YOU RAN INTO...
- YEAH, YOU DIDN'T.

EXACTLY, BUT YOU KNEW HER WELL.

- I DON'T KNOW HER WELL
SOCIALLY,

I KNEW HER WELL AS AN EMPLOYEE.

- AT VILLA BLANCA.
- SHE'D ALREADY... YEAH.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WERE COMING.

AND THE FIRST THING I KNEW,
I THOUGHT, OH, MY GOD.

I SAID, "GET RID OF HER, QUICK.

GO. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE."

THERE WAS NO SETUP.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- AND I BELIEVED THAT
FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.

- YEAH, BUT I...
- I DEFENDED YOU.

I DEFENDED YOU TO MY FRIENDS,
WHO ALL SAID...

- OF COURSE
I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE.

- THAT WAS RIDICULOUS.

- I WOULDN'T KNOW
IF MY WAITRESS IS SLEEPING

WITH SOME WOMAN
ON OUR SHOW'S EX-HUSBAND.

HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
I HAVE 150 STAFF.

I COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU
WHERE SCHEANA LIVES.

I COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU THAT.
- BABE.

YOU KNEW NO MORE
WHEN I WENT TO YOUR HOUSE

FOR KEN AND MAURICIO'S BIRTHDAY.

- HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR HAND?

- I WAS BEATING
THE [bleep] OUT OF A GUY.

- YOU'RE LUCKY SHE DIDN'T BEAT
THE [bleep] OUT OF YOU.

- WELL, THIS RING
MIGHT HAVE MADE AN INDENT.

- CONGRATULATIONS.

- THANK YOU.
- BUT...

WELL, THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT.

YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED ME
AND SAID,

"SCHEANA'S GONNA BE HERE, FYI."

- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
- YOU SHOULD'VE, AND YOU DIDN'T.

- I SHOULD'VE DONE.

- I SHOWED UP WITH A DATE.

SCHEANA FLIRTED WITH MY DATE
ALL NIGHT LONG,

LOOKING FOR A REACTION FROM ME.

AND SHE DIDN'T GET ONE. - WHERE?

NO, I HAVE TWO WAITERS.
- J.R. SAYS TO ME...

J.R. SAYS TO ME,
"THAT GIRL'S COMING ON STRONG."

- RIDICULOUS.
- YEAH, BECAUSE I SAW HER...

- WHY IS IT SO RIDICULOUS?
- LISA, IN YOUR BLOG...

- SHE ALREADY [bleep]
HER HUSBAND.

- SHE WAS TALKING
ABOUT HER ENGAGEMENT.

- BUT SHE ALREADY [bleep]
HER HUSBAND.

WHY WOULDN'T SHE TAKE
HER BOYFRIEND?

- I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
YOU WERE OKAY WITH HER THEN.

- AND THEN YOU ASKED ME
TO TALK TO HER.

- I THOUGHT YOU WERE OKAY
WITH HER THEN.

- IT'S NOT BEING
ABOUT OKAY WITH...

- BUT HOW ARE YOU
EVER GONNA BE OKAY WITH A WOMAN

THAT BROKE YOUR MARRIAGE...
THE FATHER...

WHO [bleep] THE FATHER
OF YOUR CHILDREN?

- WELL, HE BROKE UP
THE MARRIAGE.

BUT IT'S JUST... IT'S A MEMORY
THAT I DON'T NEED TO RELIVE.

- BE HONEST.

IF A WOMAN THAT WOULD TAKE KEN
AWAY FROM YOU...

- YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

BUT SHE HAD WORKED FOR ME
FOR YEARS

WHEN PRODUCTION SAID,
"WE WANT HER THERE"

BECAUSE THEY WANT THE CAST
OF VANDERPUMP RULES...

- BUT YOU'RE
SUCH AN ASSERTIVE PERSON.

YOU SHOULD'VE SAID,
"YOU KNOW WHAT,

I HAVE TO PROTECT BRANDI."
- I COULDN'T...

- "I DON'T WANT SCHEANA
IN THE HOUSE."

- BUT BRANDI AT THAT POINT...
- BUT YOU DID IT AT SUR.

I... NO, AT THAT POINT,
I ASKED YOU,

"PLEASE, NO MORE."

I'M OVER... I'VE DONE MY PART
AS A FRIEND TO YOU.

I SAID... I SAT DOWN WITH HER.
- AND I DIDN'T WANT HER

TO WAIT ON THE TABLES.
- I'VE DONE EVERYTHING

I COULD POSSIBLY DO TO BE
A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU.

- YEAH.
- TO HELP YOUR SHOW,

TO DO WHATEVER I COULD DO
TO BE A FRIEND

BECAUSE I BELIEVED
IT WASN'T A SETUP.

AND NOW PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME
IT WAS, AND I'M WATCHING.

- I HAD NO IDEA.

- THIS IS THE POINT.
I BELIEVED YOU. I...

LISTEN, YOU'RE VERY GOOD AT
GETTING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU.

- SO, BRANDI, DO YOU BELIEVE
WHAT LISA'S SAYING?

- N-NO.

- NORA FROM SPOKANE, WASHINGTON,

WANTS TO KNOW, "IN PALM SPRINGS,

"BRANDI TOLD LISA SHE 'DIDN'T
WANT TO STRATEGIZE ANYMORE.'

BRANDI, WHAT DID YOU
MEAN BY THAT?"

- I WOULD HAVE THESE HOUR-LONG
MORNING PHONE CALLS FROM LISA

WHERE WE WOULD TALK
ABOUT EVERYTHING

THAT HAPPENED THE DAY BEFORE.

AND IT WASN'T...
- I DIDN'T HAVE AN HOUR-LONG...

BRANDI, I GO TO WORK.

IT'S NOT SITTING THERE ON MY ASS
TALKING TO YOU FOR AN HOUR.

SORRY. - YOU USED TO...

- I DID THAT WITH YOU.
- YEAH, SOMETIMES.

- IN ALL FAIRNESS, WE WOULD SIT
ON THE PHONE A VERY LONG TIME.

YOU KNOW I HAVE
A LOT GOING ON TOO.

I'M GUILTY OF THAT AS WELL.
- YOU DID IT WITH ME TOO.

- WE CAN'T SIT AROUND
ON THE PHONE FOR AN HOUR. YEAH.

- EVERY MORNING...
WE WOULD TALK IN THE MORNINGS.

- BUT WHAT WAS THE STRATEGY?

- ALL I'M SAYING IS
WE WOULD GO OVER

EVERYTHING
THAT HAD JUST HAPPENED,

SO I JUST FELT LIKE
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.

- WE WOULDN'T GO OVER EVERYTHING
THAT HAD HAPPENED.

- YES, WE WOULD.
- NO, WE WOULDN'T.

NO, WE'D TALK ABOUT LIFE.

WE DIDN'T SIT THERE AND TALK...
- NO, WE TALKED ALL...

- YOU... NO.
- NO.

- KYLE, WHAT DID YOU TWO
TALK ABOUT?

- I MEAN...
- I DON'T THINK WE TALKED

ABOUT THE SHOW.

WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

- I MEAN, WE WOULD TALK
ABOUT LIFE, OF COURSE.

AND WE, OF COURSE,
WOULD TALK ABOUT THE SHOW

AND THE DYNAMICS
OF THE WOMEN 100%

AND WHAT WAS GOING ON AND...

- DID YOU FEEL LIKE
IT WAS STRATEGY?

- I MEAN, THAT'S...
WE ALL WERE DOING THAT.

AND WE WANTED TO SAY,
"OH, YOU SPOKE AGAINST US..."

WE'RE ALL DOING THAT, AND WHEN
WE'RE FRIENDS, YOU KNOW...

- YOU DON'T DO AN HOUR EVERY
MORNING TALKING ABOUT THAT.

- WE'RE GONNA TALK AND SAY, "CAN
YOU BELIEVE WHAT BRANDI DID?"

- SHE CALLED YOU
BOBBY FISCHER, SO...

- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
AROUND HERE, SO YEAH.

- A COUPLE REUNIONS AGO,
YOU LIKENED

BEING FRIENDS WITH LISA

TO PLAYING CHESS
WITH BOBBY FISCHER.

- RIGHT. YEAH.

- WAS THAT STRATEGY
WHAT YOU WERE REFERRING TO?

- YES, I'M TALKING
ABOUT SAYING CERTAIN THINGS,

YOU KNOW,
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS.

- OKAY, BUT HOW IS IT
BEING STRATEGIC?

WHY WOULD I BE FRIENDS
WITH BRANDI IN THE FIRST PLACE?

EVERYBODY HATED HER.
- 'CAUSE I'M THE UNDERDOG.

- BECAUSE AT THE TIME...
- WHO? YOU HAD NO OTHER FRIENDS.

- HUH?
- YOU GUYS NEVER SPOKE.

YOU WEREN'T FRIENDS.

ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS.

- YEAH, BUT WE HAD
SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER.

WE HAD A LOT OF FUN TOGETHER.

- BRANDI, YOU SAID THAT
WHEN THINGS STARTED

TO GO SOUTH FOR YOU, THAT WAS

WHEN YOUR FRIENDSHIP
WITH LISA CHANGED.

- RIGHT, SHE TOLD ME...
HER WORDS VERBATIM,

"YOU'RE LOSING YOUR AUDIENCE."

AND THEN I LOST MY FRIEND.

- I WILL SAY THAT, YOU KNOW,

IN WATCHING THIS SHOW,

PEOPLE LOVE YOU, THEY HATE YOU,

YOU KNOW, THEY GO THROUGH THAT.
- RIGHT.

- AND I FELT LIKE, YOU KNOW,
WHEN THEY LOVE ME,

LISA, YOU WERE THERE.

AND THEN WHEN THEY DIDN'T,
YOU WERE LIKE THAT.

AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DID WITH ME
AND WITH BRANDI.

I DID FEEL THAT 100%.

AND THAT'S WHY IN PARIS
I KEPT TELLING YOU...

I KEPT TRYING TO FIX THINGS
WITH YOU.

- WHEN DID YOU TRY
TO FIX THINGS?

- I NEVER DID ANYTHING THAT BIG.
- YOU CONSTANTLY TALK TRASH.

EVERY INTERVIEW BITE, YOU SAY
SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ME.

- YEAH, YOU DO THE SAME THING.

YOU CAME HERE GUNS BLAZING
LAST REUNION

SAYING... TALKING
ABOUT MY HUSBAND, ABOUT ME.

YOU BRING UP THE TABLOIDS.
- WELL, WE FELT LIKE THAT.

- YOU DID THAT...
- BUT WE FELT LIKE THAT.

- NO, YOU DIDN'T, LISA.
- YEAH, WE DID.

- YOU KNEW THAT.
I MET YOU THROUGH MAURICIO.

I'M COZYING UP TO YOU.
- WE FELT LIKE THAT.

- I WAS... YOU'RE ALREADY
HIS CLIENT.

- AFTER WE SOLD THE HOUSE.

BUT THIS WAS LAST REUNION.
- NO, BUT THE POINT IS...

- DO WE HAVE TO GO
TO THE SAME THING AGAIN?

- WHAT I DID WAS THIS BIG
ON THE SCALE

OF THINGS THAT I FELT
HAVE BEEN DONE TO ME.

- WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?
- AND YOU NEVER ALLOWED...

YOU NEVER ACCEPTED AN APOLOGY.

I APOLOGIZED
EVEN THOUGH WE SAT HERE...

- WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU?

- LISA,
WHENEVER I'M SAYING SOMETHING,

YOU INTERRUPT
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE

TO HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING.

SO MY POINT IS
I HAVE BEEN UPSET.

I AM VALIDATED HERE. I'M SORRY.

I HAD THINGS
I WAS VERY UPSET BY.

BUT YOU ALWAYS DIMINISHED THAT.

WHERE YOU WILL NEVER LET GO
OF THE LITTLEST THING.

ME SAYING...
- BUT WHEN HAVE I BROUGHT IT UP?

- ME SAYING TO TAYLOR,

"OH, MAYBE SHE TAKES ADVANTAGE
OF WEAK PEOPLE."

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT,
MAYBE SHE PREYS ON WEAK PEOPLE.

SHE DOESN'T TAKE CRITICISM WELL.

YOU ACTED LIKE I SAID THAT

YOU'RE BEATING OLD LADIES
ON THE STREET, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT... I DO THINK
YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THEM.

- OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO...
DO WE HAVE TO GO BACK?

- THE RULES HAVE TO APPLY
TO YOU TOO.

- COMING BACK TO THAT, I FEEL
LIKE YOU DO DISTANCE YOURSELF

DEPENDING ON YOUR POPULARITY.

WHEN YOU'RE ON TOP,
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.

WHEN YOU'RE NOT, YOU WON'T BE.

- THAT'S NOT THE WAY...
- AND BY THE WAY,

I DON'T THINK LIKE THAT.

- OKAY, SO CARLTON HASN'T HAD
A POPULARITY CONTEST.

- YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ANYBODY ELSE AFTER PUERTO RICO.

- OKAY...
- YOU THINK THAT...

NO, THAT'S THE TRUTH. - IT IS.

- I'M NOT SAYING THAT
TO BE MEAN.

THAT WAS THE TRUTH.

YOU WALKED OUT OF PUERTO RICO

AFTER WE WERE TOLD
THAT YOU PUT THE TABLOIDS

IN THE SUITCASE.

AND INSTEAD OF STAYING,
YOU LEFT.

AND NOBODY WAS SPEAKING TO YOU

BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I WOULD NOT...
- AND YOU WALKED IN ON...

HOLD ON.
- I WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT...

- YOU ONLY HAD CARLTON IN L.A.
- ONE, I WOULD NOT...

- OF COURSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE FRIENDS WITH HER.

- WHY? WHY?
- SHE'S GONNA SUPPORT YOU

'CAUSE YOU NEEDED
TO BE SITTING HERE NEXT...

ON THE SOFA TOGETHER TODAY.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

GOD, YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
- I WASN'T NOT SPEAKING TO LISA.

- HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT,
WHAT SHE JUST SAID?

- 100%.
- I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL.

I THINK THAT'S REALLY VICIOUS.

- YOU CONDONE THE THINGS
THAT SHE SAYS AND DO.

- BUT FOR THEM ALL TO GANG UP
ON YOU IN PUERTO RICO...

LET ME TELL YOU THIS.

NOT ONE OF YOU
WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE

TO LEAVE THAT ISLAND WITHOUT ME
TEXT YOU AND CALLING YOU?

- I DID TEXT YOU.
- OH, YEAH.

- YOU WANT ME TO GET MY PHONE
RIGHT NOW?

- I TEXTED YOU TOO.
- ON CAMERA?

- NO, I DID NOT.
I TEXTED YOU OFF.

NO, NO, I TEXTED YOU. 100%.
- I TEXTED YOU.

- I SAID, "ARE YOU OKAY?"
- YEAH.

- AND YOU NEVER REPLIED.
- WE ALL TEXTED.

- YOU DID ME WRONG.
- WE ALL TEXTED.

- I DIDN'T DO YOU WRONG.
- OH, MY GOD.

- FOR ME TO CALL YOU
AND SAY, "ARE YOU OKAY?"

- CALM DOWN.
- OH, BE QUIET, CARLTON.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. SHUT UP.

- I DON'T CARE.
NO, I WON'T SHUT UP.

- LISA DOESN'T EVEN CARE
ABOUT YOU.

- NO, BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU HAVE,

IS YOU HAVE THE GANG MENTALITY.
- OH, BE QUIET.

- HOLD ON, I WOULD LIKE
KYLE AND LISA TO WORK THIS OUT.

- THIS IS TWO YEAR...
THIS IS FIVE YEARS OF PROBLEMS.

LET THEM TALK. - BUT THEY...

- BRINGING UP THE TABLOIDS
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS

WHEN YOU KNOW HOW HURTFUL
THAT WAS?

- I DID NOT...

- DO YOU HOW MANY STORIES
I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU

THAT I'VE NEVER BROUGHT UP
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS?

- LISTEN, YOU KNOW WHAT,
I DID NOT SAY...

PUT THE TABLOIDS IN YOUR BAG.

- LISTEN TO ME.
- I'M SORRY, I...

- LET'S GO BACK. LET'S GO BACK.

'CAUSE YOU JUST SAID TO ME
"WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?"

THE STORIES THAT I HAVE HEARD...

- OH, GOD.
- I HAVE NEVER...

- WELL, LET'S TALK
ABOUT "I'VE HEARD."

I'VE GOT A LOT OF "I'VE HEARD."
- YEAH, GUESS WHAT.

BUT I'VE NEVER
MENTIONED ANYTHING EVER.

- WELL, NOR HAVE I.
- NO, YOU DID.

- WHEN?

- YOU BROUGHT UP THE TABLOIDS
IN MY KITCHEN ON CAMERA,

AND I SAID TO YOU,

"CAN YOU PLEASE
STOP DOING THAT?"

- YEAH, AND I TRIED...
- DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD

WANT ME TO BRING UP THINGS

THAT I'VE HEARD
ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT

OR LIES THAT I'VE HEARD?

- WELL, WE'VE ALL HEARD LIES.
- THAT WE KNOW?

NO, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT
WHEN YOU BRING IT UP,

WE'RE GIVING IT A PLATFORM.

AND NOW IT'S
A WHOLE [bleep] SEASON

OF LIES ABOUT MY HUSBAND,
WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

- NO.
- AND THAT'S WRONG.

SO AT LEAST ADMIT
ONE THING YOU'VE DONE WRONG.

- KYLE, I...
- CAN YOU NOT SAY ONE THING?

- COMING UP...
- THIS IS MY SISTER.

SHE HAS A LOVE FOR YOU
THAT IS SO DIFFERENT

THAN ANY GIRL IN THIS ROOM,
AND I'M TELLING YOU...

- SHE TURNED ON ME.

- AT LEAST ADMIT ONE THING
YOU'VE DONE WRONG.

- KYLE, I...
- CAN YOU NOT SAY ONE THING?

- OH, MY GOD.
- CAN YOU SAY ONE THING?

- KYLE, I WANTED TO DIMINISH IT.

I WANTED... - NO.

- DIMINISHING IS
NOT BRINGING IT UP, LISA.

- YOU BROUGHT IT UP
EVERY SECOND.

- WELL, LET ME DIMINISH
ALL THE [bleep]

I'VE HEARD ABOUT EVERYBODY
IN THIS ROOM, THEN.

BRING IT ALL UP.
SHOULD I DO THAT?

- KYLE, IT WAS IN THE TABLOIDS.
- NO.

IT WASN'T ON TELEVISION,
AND NOBODY WOULD'VE CARED.

- I'M NOT GONNA TALK
BEHIND YOUR BACK.

- NO, BUT BY YOU SAYING
"LET'S BRING IT UP,

SO WE CAN PUT IT TO BED,"

IT'S BRINGING IT TO THE SURFACE
FOR EVERYBODY TO HEAR, LISA.

- YOU NEVER SAID TO ME
IN PERSON,

"I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT BULL[bleep], WHAT LIES.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS."

- I SAID IT'S ABSOLUTE NONSENSE.

DON'T BELIEVE IT.

- YOU ASKED ME THE QUESTION

"WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?"
- YEAH.

- I JUST GAVE YOU AN ANSWER.

- I DID NOT...

- THAT IS ONE THING THAT HURT ME

AND TORMENTED ME

AND MADE IT A STORYLINE...
- BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU...

- THEN BRANDI DID SECOND.

- BRINGING UP MY "TABLOID STORY"
EVERY FIVE SECONDS?

- YOU WERE TWEETING
ABOUT THE THREE...

YOU WANT TO COMPARE...

YOU TWEETING AND JOKING
ABOUT 3/4 OF AN EPISODE...

LIES ABOUT MY HUSBAND.
- IN MY DEFENSE... NO.

- WHEN I HAVE SMALL CHILDREN
THAT CAN TALK AT SCHOOL?

- DO YOU THINK I WANT SOMEBODY
TO BE ON THE COVER

SAYING THERE'S
A SEX TAPE ABOUT ME?

- NO.

- DO YOU KNOW
HOW DAMAGING THAT IS?

- BUT I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
YOU DID.

- LET'S ASK KIM KARDASHIAN
HOW DAMAGING THAT IS.

IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

- HOLD ON.
- FOR ME, IT IS.

- LISTEN TO ME.
- YOU CAN'T COMPARE THE TWO.

- YEAH, WELL,
MY HUSBAND WAS ACCUSED

OF FOOLING AROUND.

- YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T
BRING IT UP ON CAMERA.

- IN THE SAME MAGAZINE.

- I NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP
ON CAMERA.

- IT WASN'T
WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING.

- I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

KYLE, I DIMINISHED IT.
- BUT THE POINT IS,

CAN YOU NOT SAY
THAT YOU DID ONE THING?

CAN YOU NOT EVER ONCE SAY,

"YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M SORRY.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT"?

'CAUSE THAT'S ALL
IT WOULD TAKE FOR ME.

- OKAY, I APOLOGIZE...
- I GENUINELY LOVE YOU

AND CARED ABOUT YOU.
- FOR BRINGING IT UP ON CAMERA.

- YOU WON'T ADMIT
TO YOUR FAULTS.

- I PROMISE YOU... I APOLOGIZE
FOR BRINGING IT UP ON CAMERA.

I PROMISE YOU, MY INTENTION WAS

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT
AND DIMINISH IT

AND GIVE IT NO CREDIBILITY.
- NO.

- YOU WERE SO CLOSE WITH HER
FOR SO LONG.

I... THIS IS MY SISTER.

SHE HAS A LOVE FOR YOU
THAT IS SO DIFFERENT

THAN ANY GIRL IN THIS ROOM,
AND I'M TELLING YOU...

- SHE TURNED ON ME.
- WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING,

IT HURTS HER SO BADLY.
- WHEN? WHEN?

LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.

- I CANNOT GO BACK
TO SEASON TWO.

- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, I WANT TO,

BECAUSE I WAS MADE OUT TO BE
SOMEBODY THAT I'M NOT AND...

- SEASON TWO?
- YEAH.

LET'S GO. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.
- TAYLOR?

- OH, PREY ON THE WEAK.

- SITTING THERE,
INDULGING TAYLOR...

- YOU WROTE IN YOUR BLOG,
"I DON'T KNOW WHY KYLE..."

- ARE WE REALLY GOING BACK
TO SEASON TWO?

- LET PEOPLE TALK, BECAUSE YOU
DON'T WANT THE TRUTH OUT THERE.

IN YOUR BLOG, YOU WROTE,
"I DON'T KNOW

WHY KYLE CAN'T LET
THE SILLY TABLOIDS GO."

YOU ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT
MAYBE LISA PREYS ON THE WEAK.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE STRONGER
WITH HER, THREE YEARS LATER.

- BUT WHEN YOU SAY...
- SO YOU DON'T LET ANYTHING GO.

BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO LET
SOMETHING GO...

- NO, BUT WHEN YOU SAY...

- THAT COULD DAMAGE MY LIFE,
MY HUSBAND, AND MY CHILDREN,

AND OUR BUSINESS?
- WHY WOULD IT DAMAGE YOUR LIFE,

FOR GOD'S SAKE?
- YOU MEAN, LIKE, ANTI-SEMITIC?

- YEAH, IT HURT THAT MUCH.

- WHY WOULD YOU...
- CARLTON, WE DEALT WITH THAT.

- I DON'T CARE.
- GET OUT OF MY FACE.

- NO, BECAUSE THAT
WILL DAMAGE MY FAMILY.

- THIS IS ABOUT LISA AND ME
RIGHT NOW.

- BUT YOU ALREADY HAD...
- I'M DONE WITH YOU.

- YOU GUYS ALREADY TALKED
ABOUT IT.

- LISA...
- STAY OUT OF IT.

- MY POINT IS...
- BUT YOU CAN PICK IT UP LATER.

THIS IS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM.

- YOU WANT ME
TO LET ALL THAT GO.

YOU DON'T LET ANYTHING GO.

- ME BRINGING UP, SAYING...
- IF YOU COULD LET THINGS GO,

GUESS WHAT... YOU AND I
WOULD BE FINE RIGHT NOW,

'CAUSE I CAN LET THINGS GO.

AND I CARED ABOUT YOU ENOUGH
TO SAY,

"HEY, I [bleep] UP."

YOU DO TOO, THOUGH,
BUT YOU WON'T SAY THAT.

- I JUST SAID TO YOU...
- AND IF YOU CAN'T...

- DID YOU NOT HEAR IT?
I APOLOGIZED.

- SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY
FOR BRINGING UP THE TABLOIDS.

- BUT TO BE HONEST...
- SHE APOLOGIZED A FEW TIMES.

- I THOUGHT,
OKAY, IT'S OUT THERE.

RATHER THAN EVERYBODY TALK
BEHIND YOUR BACK,

IT'S OUT THERE.
DIS... DIMINISH IT.

- AND YOU DON'T...
- DISCREDIT IT.

- AND SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU.

- DON'T GIVE ANY CREDIBILITY
TO THESE...

- SHE THOUGHT
YOU WERE BEING CRAFTY.

- I'M NOT BUYING THAT.
- SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU.

SO, BRANDI,
ON YOUR HIKE WITH KYLE,

YOU INTIMATED THAT LISA HAD BEEN

PUTTING IDEAS INTO YOUR HEAD.

WHAT DID YOU MEAN?

- I FELT LIKE SOME OF THE THINGS

I'D SAID IN THE PAST...

- OH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BLAME ME NOW.

- I'M NOT BLAMING YOU
FOR ANYTHING.

- MY GOD, YOU ARE NOT...
- IT'S MYSELF.

- SOMEBODY THAT
YOU'D MANIPULATE.

SAME WAY WHEN YOU SAY
I'M MANIPULATING HER.

YOU'RE STRONG WOMEN.

- YOU CAN MANIPULATE ANYONE.
- OH, I LOVE THAT.

- ANYONE.
- THANK YOU.

- ALL I'M SAYING...
- I'VE BEEN

A VERY GOOD FRIEND TO YOU.

- YES, AND YOU'VE BEEN

A VERY [bleep] FRIEND
AT THE SAME TIME.

IT'S A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD.
IT'S...

I LOVE YOU, AND I FEEL LIKE
YOU CHEATED ON ME

AND YOU'RE USING ME...
- OH, YOU'VE BEEN...

- TO DEAL WITH SCHEANA.
- A WONDERFUL FRIEND TO ME,

GANGING EVERYBODY UP.

- GANGING... ARE WE GANGING UP?
- ROUNDING EVERYBODY UP, YEAH.

- BY THE WAY, I DIDN'T GANG UP.
I JUST ASKED A QUESTION.

- WE'RE ALL TELLING THE TRUTH.
- I'M NOT GONNA GANG UP.

- NO ONE'S GANGING UP.
- I ASKED A QUESTION.

- IT WAS A GANG-UP. YES, IT WAS.

PUERTO RICO WAS A GANG-UP.
IT WAS A GANG-UP.

I WAS THERE,
AND IT WAS A GANG-UP.

- THE WHOLE THING WAS A TAKEDOWN
RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

- THIS IS NOT A GANG-UP.
- IT WAS, FROM THE BEGINNING.

FROM THE GET-GO. - EXACTLY.

- OKAY, WHEN WE'RE
SITTING HERE TALKING,

I KEEP HEARING, YOU KNOW,

JOYCE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD,
GOING...

- YEAH, I WAS SAYING
SHE'S GOING TO...

- CAN I NOT SPEAK, PLEASE?
- YOU LOVE TO SPEAK

AND BE THE REFEREE, YOLANDA.

YOU LOVE TO PLAY THE DIRECTOR.

- YOU KNOW, SHE KEEPS SAYING...

OH, MY GOD.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE JUST SAID?

- GO ON, NO, I WANT TO...
- CONTINUE.

- SHE'S... OH, MY GOD.
IT'S JUST TOO FUNNY.

- I ACTUALLY THINK YOLANDA'S
DOING A GOOD JOB

OF BOILING THINGS DOWN TONIGHT.

- SO... BUT WHAT I'M HEARING,

WHEN I'M SITTING HERE,
LISTENING,

I FEEL THAT IT ALL... IT SEEMS,

FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN,

PROBABLY, THAT IT...
A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE

GANGED UP AGAINST LISA,
AND I JUST WANT TO ESTABLISH

THAT THAT'S REALLY
NOT WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT HAPPENED WAS...
- THAT'S HOW IT FELT.

- WELL, IT FELT LIKE ME
WITH THE DREAM TEAM.

- BUT, KYLE... WAIT.
BUT, GUYS, WAIT.

- YEAH.
- KYLE HAS A FIVE-YEAR

RELATIONSHIP WITH LISA,

AND THEY HAVE THEIR ISSUES.

MY ISSUES WITH YOU...

I'M NOT FIGHTING
THEIR FIGHT, OKAY?

I AGREE WITH AND NOT AGREE.
- I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE

YOU RESOLVED YOUR ISSUES
WITH HER.

- I DID, SO I WOULD JUST WANT
TO MAKE THAT VERY CLEAR,

BECAUSE THIS ONE IN THE BACK
KEEPS SAYING,

LIKE, "OH, YOU ALL GANGED UP."

WE DIDN'T GANG UP.

- IT FELT LIKE IT.
- THEY'RE ADULT WOMEN

THAT INDIVIDUALLY
HAD A PROBLEM...

- I ASKED A QUESTION.
- AND IT ALL CAME TOGETHER

AT THE SAME TIME.
- I ASKED A QUESTION

I WANTED AN ANSWER TO.
THAT WAS IT.

LISA, DO YOU FEEL I DID? - OKAY.

- NO.
- I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

- YEAH, BUT IT'S LIKE
ONE COMES, THEN THE OTHER...

- WHAT YOU DO...
- I'M NOT ASKING YOU.

IS YOUR NAME LISA?
- I WATCHED IT.

I WATCHED IT. - I DON'T CARE,

WITCHY [bleep] POO. BE QUIET.
LISA...

- YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON...
- DO YOU...

- THAT THROWS A ROCK
AND HIDES THE HAND.

- I'M NOT...
- YOU ARE.

YOU'RE THE BIGGEST
[bleep]-STIRRER.

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
BE QUIET.

- NO, NO, NO.
- I WANT TO...

- EVERYTHING YOU SAY
IS JUST, LIKE,

A SQUAWKING, DUMB NOISE MACHINE.

- YOU ARE JUST TRASH.

- OKAY, LET ME...

LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

KYLE, YOU AND LISA HAVE
A YEARS-LONG FRIENDSHIP

THAT GOES BACK
WAY BEFORE HERS WITH BRANDI.

AND I...

YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE BEEN TWO FRIENDS

WHO HAVE BEEN ABLE
TO GO OFF TRACK

AND THEN GET BACK ON TRACK.

- YEAH.
- AND YOU HAVE SEEMED

TO REALLY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER,

YOU KNOW, THROUGH THE YEARS.

WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?

HOW DO YOU GET PAST IT?

- ALL I WANT
AND ALL I CARE ABOUT IS,

LISTEN, SHE'S SAID THINGS.

I'VE DONE THINGS.

WE ALL HAVE TO EACH OTHER.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
I HELD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

I APOLOGIZED TO YOU.

I MADE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF,
BASICALLY, IN PARIS,

TRYING TO FIX THINGS WITH YOU,

CRYING TO YOU OFF CAMERA,

NOT ON, SAYING I FELT LIKE
THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR ME,

THAT YOU WOULD NOT LET ME IN.

- I THOUGHT THE WHOLE THING
WITH YOU RESOLVED

THAT LAST REUNION.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
- OKAY, BUT THE POINT IS,

I MEAN, ALL I WOULD LIKE

IS FOR YOU TO HAVE
SOME ACCOUNTABILITY AS WELL.

- OKAY, BUT NOT FOR PUTTING
THE MAGAZINE IN THE BAG,

BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO IT.

SO I'M NOT GONNA APOLOGIZE
FOR DOING SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO.

- OKAY, SO IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WILL TAKE

ACCOUNTABILITY FOR WITH KYLE?

- YES, I SAID I'M SORRY
FOR BRINGING IT UP...

- OKAY.
- IN FRONT OF PORTIA.

OR IN FRONT... ON THE... - ON TV.

- I APPRECIATE THAT.
- BUT TO BE HONEST,

I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S OUT THERE...

- NO, WE UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU DID IT.

- YEAH. OKAY.
- WE UNDERSTAND.

- OKAY. I SAID YEAH.

- OKAY.
- THANK YOU.

- SO YOU APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
- YEAH.

- SO YOU WOULD LIKE...

YOU WOULD LIKE WHAT FROM KYLE?

- NOTHING.

- COMING UP...

- IF THERE WAS A FIRE BURNING

AND WE WERE BOTH IN IT,
THERE'S SCHEANA

AND THERE'S ME,
AND YOU COULD SAVE ONE PERSON,

YOU... WHO ARE YOU GONNA SAVE?

- SO YOU HAVE APOLOGIZED.

AND SO... - I ACCEPT.

- YOU ACCEPT HER APOLOGY.

- I ACCEPT THAT APOLOGY.
- OKAY.

WAS THAT THE ONLY APOLOGY
THAT YOU NEEDED FROM HER?

- I WILL TAKE THAT APOLOGY,
AND I'M ACCEPTING THAT.

I MEAN, TO ME,
THAT'S AT LEAST A STEP

IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, SO...

- OKAY.
I FEEL LIKE JIMMY CARTER.

[laughter] LET'S... LET'S MOVE ON

TO YOU AND BRANDI.

YOU GOT A FEW ISSUES HERE. OKAY?

YOU HAVE THE ISSUE
OF SCHEANA, OKAY?

BRANDI SOMEHOW FEELS

THAT YOU KNEW
ABOUT SCHEANA BEFORE...

- NOT TRUE AT ALL.

- OKAY.
OKAY, LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

- YEAH.
- IS THERE ANYTHING

RELATING TO SCHEANA

THAT YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU WANT TO OWN

OR APOLOGIZE FOR?

- I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER
AT THE PARTY.

- I HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTLOOK...
- THANK YOU.

- ON MARRIAGE THAN I USED TO.

- I AGREE.
- THANKS PARTLY TO YOU.

- YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER
AT THE PARTY.

- YEAH, I SHOULD'VE GIVEN HER
THE HEADS-UP.

- I JUST FEEL LIKE, HOW CAN YOU
BE BEST FRIENDS WITH ME?

AND I'D SEE YOU GUYS,

AND I JUST FEEL LIKE...
I FEEL LIKE I DON'T WANT

TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE
THAT'S FRIENDS WITH THIS WOMAN.

- BUT SCHEANA'S NOT
A FRIEND OF MINE.

THAT'S WHAT I DON'T...

- BUT YOU HELPED HER...
I WATCHED THE SHOW.

YOU LET HER DANCE
IN BAD PANTYHOSE ON YOUR BAR.

YOU THREW HER A...

- OH, YEAH, BUT SHE'S PART...
- ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

- OF THE VANDERPUMP RULES CAST,

THAT WAS AGREED
BEFORE WE FOUND OUT,

BEFORE I KNEW YOU.

I MEAN, I'M NOT CHANGING THAT.
I...

- BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CL...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP HER
GET ENGAGED AND DO ALL...

I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING CHEATED ON

ALL OVER AGAIN
WITH THE SAME WOMAN.

I... IT'S NOT FUN FOR ME.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- IT'S LIKE THAT'S THE THING.

- BUT IT'S JUST
ABOUT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED.

- THERE IS A FIRE BURNING...
- I THINK THAT'S

THE BIGGER PICTURE.
- AND WE ARE BOTH IN IT,

THERE'S SCHEANA, AND THERE'S ME,

AND YOU COULD SAVE ONE PERSON,

AND YOU'RE... YOU...
WHO ARE YOU GONNA SAVE?

- WELL, THAT'S
A VERY DIFFICULT... COME ON.

- RIGHT, YEAH, IS IT?
IS IT DIFFICULT?

- TO ANYBODY, I CAN'T SAY...
- ARE YOU KIDDING?

- I CAN'T... NO, BUT, DARLING,

YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A HYPO...
A HYPOTHETICAL THING...

- OKAY, NO, YOU ANSWERED IT.
THAT'S PERFECT.

- NO, DARLING, YOU CAN'T SAY
TWO PEOPLE BURNING...

- CAN I HAVE A TISSUE, PLEASE?

- OH.
- THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

- I KNOW, BUT THAT'S NOT...
- NO, THAT'S...

- I DON'T CARE.
- A RIDICULOUS CONVERSATION.

THAT'S LIKE SAYING YOU AND HER.

IT'S LIKE SAYING ANY TWO PEOPLE.

- NO, IT'S NOT SAYING ME OR HER.

SHE'S YOUR FRIEND.
SHE LOVES YOU.

I'M YOUR FRIEND. I LOVE YOU.
SCHEANA'S YOUR WAITRESS.

- YES, BUT I WOULDN'T LET

ANY OF MY WAITRESSES
BURN TO DEATH.

- IF WE HA... [stammering]

- SHE WANTS YOU TO CHOOSE
YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH HER.

SHE FEELS LIKE YOU'RE...

- SCHEANA'S NOT A FRIEND TO ME.
- UGH.

- NOT AT ALL. SHE ISN'T. SORRY.

SHE'S A WAITRESS,
AND SHE'S ON THE SHOW.

- BUT I THINK
WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE IS...

- YEAH?

- YOU FEEL LIKE
BRANDI HAS TURNED ON YOU.

- YEAH.

- SHE'S DISTANCED HERSELF.
- YEAH.

- SHE'S CALLED YOU STRATEGIC,
ALL THESE THINGS.

SHE'S SITTING HERE CRYING...
- YEAH, YEAH.

- BECAUSE SHE SAYS
SHE LOVES YOU.

- I'M SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT.
- OKAY.

- I THOUGHT SHE HATED ME,
SO TO EVEN SEE...

- I'VE BEEN ANGRY.
I'VE BEEN JEALOUS.

I'VE BEEN HURT.

I'VE WONDERED
ABOUT TRUSTING YOU.

- SO WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER COME
TO ME AND TELL ME THAT?

- I DID, AND YOU HAVE...
- YOU DIDN'T.

- AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING,
JUST LIKE YOU DID NOW.

- I THINK WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS,

SHE'S... SHE WAS CHEATED ON
BY THIS...

- YEAH.
- THIS GIRL PLAYED

A REALLY CRUCIAL ROLE
IN DESTROYING HER MARRIAGE

AND BREAKING HER HEART.

- MY HUSBAND DESTROYED
OUR MARRIAGE.

- RIGHT.
- JUST BE CLEAR.

I'M VERY AWARE OF THAT.

- SHE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE.
- OKAY.

- YEAH, EXACTLY, AND I... YEAH.

- AND IT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT

WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO
ABOUT IT NOW,

BUT YOU AT LEAST NEED
TO HEAR HER

AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT.

- YEAH, I DO.
- OKAY, SO TELL HER.

- YEAH, NO, I'M SORRY. I AM.

AND I-I REALLY WANTED
TO KEEP YOU APART

ALL THE TIME, AND I KNOW
WHEN SHE WAS PUT THERE,

I SHOULD'VE GIVEN YOU
THE HEADS-UP.

- DO YOU TAKE...
- IT'S... I TAKE THE APOLOGY.

I JUST WISH...
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU BE F...

I DON'T WANT... I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER.

- BUT I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH HER.
- YOU KNOW,

MY EX-HUSBAND CHEATED
WITH LEANN,

AND MY BEST FRIEND WENT
AND STARTED

HANGING OUT WITH LEANN,
AND I SAID,

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME."

I DON'T WANT...

- BUT I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH HER.
- SO SHE...

- YOU'RE TAKING HER SHOPPING
FOR HER BIRTHDAY,

BUYING HER THINGS...

- SHE'S ON THE SHOW.
- SO... WELL...

- I DON'T KNOW
HOW WE GET ROUND THAT.

- YOU'RE NOT NICE TO KRISTEN,
AND KRISTEN'S...

- I CAN'T STAND KRISTEN.
- OKAY.

SO YOU CAN'T STAND KRISTEN.
- NO.

- SO THEN, TO HER POINT...

FINE, SHE'S A WAITER
AT YOUR RESTAURANT.

SHE'S PART OF YOUR SHOW. - YEAH.

- THAT DOESN'T MEAN...

- WELL, BEING ON THE SHOW...
- THAT YOU NEED

TO GO SHOPPING.
- I KNOW HER MUCH MORE.

YEAH.

- BEING ON YOUR SHOW
DOESN'T MEAN

THAT YOU HAVE TO GO SHOPPING
WITH HER.

- BUT YOU'RE AN EXECUTIVE
PRODUCER ON YOUR SHOW.

- MY GOD, AS THE EXECUTIVE
PRODUCER, I'M LIKE,

"CAN WE HAVE SEXY TITLES?
CAN WE HAVE THIS?"

- RIGHT, NO, BUT YOU'RE IN CON...

YOU'RE IN CONTROL
OF WHETHER YOU GO SHOPPING

WITH HER OR WHATEVER, I MEAN...

- WELL, NOT REALLY.
- IF SHE'S THAT IMPORTANT,

YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

- BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS...

- YOU KNOW,
DON'T DECIDE RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, SO THAT WAS IN THE PAST.
- YEAH.

- SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS...
- I CAN'T FIRE HER.

- IF YOU'RE... SHE'S NOT ASKING
YOU TO FIRE HER.

- YEAH.
- SHE'S SAYING...

- I'VE NEVER ONCE ASKED YOU
TO FIRE HER, NEVER.

- SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT SHE'S
A WAITER IN YOUR RESTAURANT.

- YEAH.
- SHE'S SAYING,

MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO,
YOU KNOW,

BE SUCH A D... MAYBE YOU CAN BE

MORE LIKE YOU ARE WITH KRISTEN
WITH HER, IS WHAT...

I THINK WHAT SHE'S SAYING.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A S...
I MEAN, AS A WOMAN

THAT WENT THROUGH INFIDELITY,

I MEAN, I COULD...
I COULDN'T BEAR SEEING

THAT WOMAN AROUND IN MY LIFE,

AND IT WOULD, FOR ME,
ALSO BE A DEAL BREAKER.

SO... BUT, I MEAN,
I THINK YOU GET IT.

AND I MEAN...
- SO DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

- I DO UNDERSTAND,
BUT SHE STILL WORKS FOR ME.

- I'M FEELING JEALOUS,
AND I'M FEELING LIKE,

OH, MY GOSH, THIS IS HAPPENING
ALL OVER AGAIN.

IT JUST... IT BRINGS ME BACK
TO A FUNKY PLACE.

IT'S NOT FUN.

AND YOU...
YOU'VE BEEN WITH ONE MAN

FOR A HUNDRED YEARS,

SO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S NOT FUN
TO KEEP REMEMBERING THAT.

- DO YOU HEAR THAT?
- MM.

YEAH. I SUPPOSE
I'LL JUST HAVE TO DISTANCE

MYSELF FROM HER OR... OR...

I CAN'T CUT HER OUT OF...

- SO THEN, BRANDI,
IS THERE ANYTHING

THAT YOU WANT TO COP TO

OR APOLOGIZE FOR TO LISA?

- YEAH, YOU KNOW, I WAS...

I... WHEN I SAW THE...

WHEN I SAW
THE PUERTO RICO EPISODE,

I WASN'T READY
TO TALK TO YOU ON THE BEACH.

I REALLY WASN'T,
AND IT KIND OF JUMPED OFF,

AND I-I... IT WAS HORRIBLE.

IT LOOKED VERY CATTY.

IT LOOKED LIKE ALL
OF US SITTING.

YOU'RE BEHIND US.

I WAS LIKE,
"THIS IS DISGUSTING."

- YEAH.
- AND I'M SORRY.

- VERY HURTFUL.
- BUT I CAN SAY I'M WRONG.

YOU CAN'T,
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.

- IF I'M SO IMPERFECT,

AND YOU'VE GOT
ALL THESE GRIEVANCES ABOUT ME,

WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?

- NO ONE'S PERFECT, LISA.

- NO, BUT IF YOU KEEP SAYING,
YOU'RE THIS, YOU'RE THIS,

YOU'RE THIS, YOU'RE THIS, THAT,
AND THE OTHER...

- I... WHAT HAVE I SAID?
- I DON'T KNOW.

- THAT YOU'RE STRATEGIC?
- BUT YOU'RE SAYING

THAT "YOU'RE STRATEGIC,
AND YOU ANSWER THIS, AND..."

- YOU'RE THE SMARTEST PERSON
I KNOW,

AND YOU'RE STRATEGIC,
AND YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.

- WELL, THEN...
- THAT'S HORRIBLE.

- A LOT OF THINGS HAVE BEEN SAID
THAT HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE.

- YES, I AGREE.

ON MY HALF, LIKE, FOR ME TOO.

HASN'T BEEN FUN.

- NOT EVERYBODY,

WHEN THEY FIND A FLAW
IN SOMEONE,

CUTS THEM OFF.

- I DIDN'T CUT THEM OFF.
- I WAS CUT OFF.

- I DIDN'T CUT HER OFF.
- NO, I'M NOT SAYING...

- SHE WAS JUST LIKE, "BACK OFF."

- I'M NOT SAYING YOU DID.

I'M SAYING SHE IS NOT
CUTTING YOU OFF

BECAUSE SHE FINDS
THESE THINGS THAT...

NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

- AND KYLE AND I
HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT.

- I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE. I-I...

NO ONE'S PERFECT. I'LL...

- I DIDN'T THINK
BRANDI WAS PERFECT EVER.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

- I'M JUST SAYING... WELL...
- [laughs]

- BRANDI, DO YOU THINK
THERE IS HOPE

FOR YOU AND LISA?

- I-I DON'T KNOW. I HOPE SO.

I MEAN, I CARE ABOUT HER A TON.

I HOPE WE CAN... I MEAN,

I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA HAPPEN
RIGHT AWAY,

BUT I HOPE WE CAN,
AT SOME POINT,

FIGURE IT OUT.

- YOU?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN REALLY HURT,

BUT I GUESS IT WILL TAKE TIME,
YOU KNOW?

I'D LIKE TO THINK SO.

- COMING UP...

- IT SEEMS TO BE
A BEAUTIFUL RELIGION.

- IT IS.
- I DON'T THINK

THEY IDENTIFY WITH YOU
WHATSOEVER,

WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

- I DON'T THINK
I COULD EVER LET YOU

BACK INTO MY LIFE.

- JOINING US NOW
ARE OUR WONDERFUL HUSBANDS:

MAURICIO, KEN, AND MICHAEL.

AND THE GIGSTER.

- [laughs]

- GIGGY.
- HI, GIGGY.

- YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS COMING,

DID YOU? - I DIDN'T.

WHAT IS THIS OUTFIT
GIGGY'S WEARING?

- IT'S HIS PILGRIM OUTFIT.

- OH, IT'S HIS PILGRIM OUTFIT.

VERY GOOD. - THE FEET.

- MICHAEL, YOU LOOK GREAT.
DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?

- YES, I DID.
- HOW MUCH DID YOU LOSE?

- I'M NOT COUNTING EXACTLY,
BUT I LEARNED ONE THING

ON THE HOUSEWIVES IS
DON'T GO ON A SHOW LIKE THIS

IF YOU ARE NOT IN GOOD SHAPE.
- REALLY?

VERY GOOD, WELL...
- YOU LOOK GREAT.

- I'M IMPRESSED.

WHERE ARE...
WHERE'S DAVID TONIGHT?

- HE'S AT HIS JOB.

- HE'S AT HIS JOB?
- YES.

- AND YOUR DAVID TOO?
- IN NEW YORK.

- YEAH. OH, IN NEW YORK?
- YEAH.

- WELL, WHEN IT COMES TO DRAMA,

SOME LADIES SAY THAT A HUSBAND

SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.

BUT ONCE AGAIN, OUR HUSBANDS

JUST COULDN'T ESCAPE
THE FIREWORKS.

LET'S SEE WHY.

- YOU'RE SO STUPID.

- NO, NO, NO,
DON'T CALL HER STUPID.

THE ONLY ONE THAT PROVED SO FAR
YOU ARE STUPID IS YOU.

WHICH PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON?

I'M NOT JUST GONNA BE QUIET.
THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME.

STOP YOUR LANGUAGE, BRANDI.

I MEAN IT. - [bleep] YOU, DUDE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"[bleep] YOU, DUDE"?

- CARLTON WENT?
- EVERYBODY BUT LISA.

- I'M SURE
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS

KIM HASN'T TURNED UP FOR.

- THAT'S KIND OF
UNCALLED FOR, KEN.

- REALLY?
- I'M PISSED.

I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
AND I'M [bleep] PISSED.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- I'M [bleep] MAD AT YOU.

- WELL, IT'S NOT...
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

- THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU, KEN.

- WHAT? THAT'S MY WIFE.
THIS IS BULL[bleep].

NOBODY TELLS ME WHO TO BE
FRIENDS WITH AND WHO NOT TO BE.

- THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
- WHAT'S THE POINT THEN?

- WE'RE ALL IN A GROUP.
- YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN...

- AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
I DON'T APPRECIATE

YOU TALKING TO ME THAT WAY.

- THIS IS
A [bleep] SABOTAGE ATTACK.

- I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
I WANT TO KNOW.

- JUST GONE OUT THERE
AND PLANNED IT.

- YEAH, I SAW IT WITH YOU.
- ALL FOUR OF YOU.

YOU ARE SO STUPID.
- I SAW IT WITH YOU.

- THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

- I'M TIRED
OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN OLD MAN.

SHUT UP!

- WE'VE BEEN SET UP. WELL DONE.

- JUST DON'T LOSE IT WITH THEM.

- KIM IS LIKE A MANIAC. WHAT...

- IT'S A CONSTANT ATTACK.
- HAS SHE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN?

- KEN, CAN YOU PLEASE
STAY OUT OF THIS?

BECAUSE YOU INVOLVED IN THIS
IS JUST SO PATHETIC.

AND, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU BEING...

- IF YOUR HUSBAND WAS HERE...
- HE WOULD NOT GET INVOLVED.

- YOU WOULDN'T BE TALKING
TO HER LIKE THAT.

- HE WOULD NOT...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- LET YOUR HUSBAND TELL ME THAT.
- DON'T TOUCH ME.

DON'T TOUCH ME.

I'M A VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN,
AND I DON'T NEED TO BE CALLED

STUPID BY YOU.
- YOU'RE NOT THAT INTELLIGENT.

- GOD.

- MAURICIO, YOU TWO
WENT THROUGH A LOT THIS YEAR.

WHAT KIND OF TOLL DID THAT TAKE
ON YOUR FAMILY?

- ACTUALLY, IT WAS
ONE OF THESE THINGS

THAT PROBABLY MADE US,
YOU KNOW, A LOT CLOSER.

- WE'VE NEVER BEEN FACED
WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

- YEAH.
- I KNEW IT WAS A LIE.

AND I WAS STANDING
BY MY HUSBAND 1,000%.

AND IT JUST MADE US, YOU KNOW,
TALK ABOUT THAT

AND SIT DOWN WITH OUR KIDS
AND TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

WHAT CAN HAPPEN
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PUBLIC EYE,

AND WE HAD TALKED ABOUT THAT
BEFORE WE SIGNED UP FOR THIS,

BUT HERE, IT WAS IN OUR FACE,
AND THEY NEVER ONCE

EVEN GAVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT.

- KAYLEE FROM PROVO, UTAH,
WANTS TO KNOW,

"SOME OF THE LADIES THOUGHT

"THAT CARLTON PUT A HEX
ON MICHAEL.

"SO WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO YOU

AFTER YOLANDA'S PAINTING PARTY?"

- I DID GET QUITE SICK
FOR TWO DAYS.

- DID YOU BELIEVE THAT IT HAD
SOMETHING TO DO WITH CARLTON?

- AT THAT TIME, CLEARLY, I DID.

I MEAN, TODAY, I DIDN'T KNOW
CARLTON THAT WELL BACK THEN.

I MET HER PROBABLY
A COUPLE OF TIMES ONLY.

THE FIRST THING I KNEW IS
I DON'T WANT

SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW,
IN A GROUP OF FRIENDS

THAT WISHES ANYBODY HARM.

BUT AT THIS POINT,
I BELIEVED IT.

AND I THINK PERHAPS
I WOULD'VE BEEN SICK ANYWAY.

TODAY I REALLY THINK SHE'S...

YOU KNOW, DOES IT
FOR SHOCK VALUE HERE.

AND PROBABLY I KNOW
WHAT YOU'VE DONE,

BUT WRITE A BOOK
AT SOME POINT ABOUT IT

BECAUSE I TALK TO PEOPLE
ABOUT WICCAN.

AND SO FAR, WHAT I'M LEARNING
ABOUT WITCHES,

PERHAPS
THE ONE POSITIVE OUTCOME IS

IT SEEMS TO BE
A BEAUTIFUL RELIGION.

- IT IS.
- I DON'T THINK THEY IDENTIFY

WITH YOU WHATSOEVER,
WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

- YEAH, WICCA IS
A VERY POSITIVE RELIGION,

BUT WHEN I'M AROUND SOMEBODY
CONSISTENTLY BEING GOADED

AND CHALLENGED
AND COMPARING GODS,

WHICH I DON'T BRING UP,

AT SOME POINT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

- I NEVER CHALLENGED YOU.

- I'VE NOT CHALLENGED YOU
AT ALL.

- I NEVER COMPARED YOUR GODDESS
TO MY GOD.

- YOU DID. BUT YOU DID.
- NO, I DIDN'T.

AT THE PAINTING PARTY, I SAID,

"SPELLS ONLY GET TO YOU
IF YOU BELIEVE IN THEM"

WHEN BRANDI SAID THAT KYLE
WAS AFRAID

YOU WERE GONNA PUT A SPELL
ON HER.

THAT'S WHEN I SAID,
"SPELLS ONLY GET TO YOU

IF YOU BELIEVE IN THEM."

- THAT WAS ALL JOKING

BETWEEN YOLANDA AND CARLTON
AND MYSELF.

IT WAS A JOKING SITUATION.

- IT'S ALWAYS JOKING.

EVERYTHING IS JOKING
WITH THIS GROUP.

WHAT... WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE
OF A JOKE AND THE TRUTH?

- SO, MICHAEL, I HEARD
YOU BROUGHT SOMEONE IN

TO BLESS YOUR HOUSE.
- I DID, I DID.

- IS THAT RELATED AT ALL
TO CARLTON?

- OH, YEAH.
- YEAH.

- I WAS SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.
- OH, YEAH.

- I MEAN, I WAS VERY SICK.
- WE HAD A RABBI AND A PASTOR.

- RABBI AND A PASTOR.

- AND THEY... YOU KNOW,
THEY CAME IN, AND HE BLESSED ME,

HE GAVE ME SOMETHING TO WEAR
WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME.

- ARE YOU WEARING IT NOW?
- NO, I DON'T, ACTUALLY.

- YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
HOW INSULTING YOU ARE.

I DON'T BRING UP RELIGION.
I DON'T COMPARE RELIGIONS.

- YOU HAVE BROUGHT IT UP
CONSTANTLY.

- NO, WITC... EXCUSE ME.

UNFORTUNATELY,
IT'S IGNORANCE LIKE YOURS

THAT DOES WANT ME TO CLAM UP.

- MISSY FROM MEMPHIS SAID,

"HOW DID MAURICIO FEEL
WATCHING KEN DEFEND HIM

AGAINST THE TABLOID RUMORS
BUT LISA BEING UNSURE?"

- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
I WAS, YOU KNOW, HONORED

THAT KEN DEFENDED ME,
AND I FELT LIKE I HAD A FRIEND,

AND I FELT LIKE SOMEBODY
HAD MY BACK.

- YOU KNOW, THE THING
THAT'S GONE DOWN THE PRESS,

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S TRUE. I REALLY DON'T.

- OF COURSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

- WELL, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW.

- YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU NEED
YOUR PEOPLE

THAT, YOU KNOW,
THAT KNOW YOU AND THAT,

YOU KNOW, TO STAND UP,
BECAUSE IT'S VERY EASY

TO ALWAYS GO AGAINST,

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING AND JUST
TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

YOU KNOW, YOU READ SOMETHING
IN THE TABLOIDS,

AND YOU, LIKE,
YOU'RE GONNA GO FOR THAT.

SO I, YOU KNOW,

I WAS VERY APPRECIATIVE OF THAT.

- I SAID THAT I DIDN'T BELIEVE
THE TABLOIDS.

I SAID I BELIEVED THEM
TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE.

IT WAS A BIGGER CONVERSATION.

YOU KNOW, BUT I SAID TO KEN,

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO
24 HOURS A DAY."

IT WAS AN ANALOGY, YOU KNOW.

- NO, BUT I THINK THE COMMENT
WHEN YOU SAID,

WHEN HE SAID, "WE KNOW
IT'S NOT THE TRUTH."

AND YOU SAID, "WELL,
WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE."

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
FOR SURE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE
AGAIN IS CASTING DOUBT.

- BUT THE BIGGER CONVERSATION
WAS, "I DON'T BELIEVE IT,

AND I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THE..."
- BUT THAT DID STING.

- MEN ARE DIFFERENT.
HE WAS MY BUDDY.

SO I'M GONNA SAY,
"NO, HE DOESN'T DO IT."

- I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE DOING IT.

[laughter]

- MAURICIO, WERE YOU UPSET
THAT LISA BROUGHT UP

THE TABLOID RUMORS
IN FRONT OF PORTIA?

- I WAS... YEAH, I DID NOT THINK
THAT WAS COOL OF YOU.

I WAS DEFINITELY UPSET
ABOUT THAT.

YOU KNOW, WE WERE HAVING
A GOOD TIME.

WE WERE... LITERALLY,
I WAS ABOUT TO TURN AROUND

AND GET OUT OF THERE,
AND I THOUGHT THAT

WAS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
- OH, COME ON, MAURICIO.

THAT WAS A JOKE.

- WHATEVER.
- IT WAS A SILLY, LITTLE JOKE.

- A JOKE IN FRONT
OF A FIVE-YEAR-OLD?

- SHE WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND THAT, THOUGH.

- GIVE ME A BREAK.

THERE ARE GOOD JOKES,
AND THERE ARE BAD JOKES.

IF THAT WAS A JOKE,
IT WAS A BAD JOKE.

- OKAY, MICHAEL, I KNOW
YOU GOT A LOT OF FLAK

FOR THE WAY YOU SPOKE
TO BRANDI AT SUR.

DO YOU STAND BY YOUR ACTIONS
THAT NIGHT?

- YEAH, I DO.

IF THE PERSON YOU LOVE DEARLY
IS GETTING ATTACKED,

THEN IT WAS JUST ENOUGH FOR ME,
TO BE HONEST.

STILL, YOU KNOW,
IN THAT SITUATION,

I THINK I DIDN'T RAISE
MY VOICE TOO LOUD

OR CALLED HER TERRIBLE NAMES.

BUT IT WAS A TABLE AS WELL

WHERE EVERYBODY DEFENDED BRANDI.

SO IT WASN'T A SITUATION
WHERE SHE WAS ALONE,

BUT SHE WAS DEFENDED
BY EVERYBODY,

AND THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD
NO DEFENSE ACTUALLY WAS MY WIFE.

BUT NEVERTHELESS, YOU KNOW,
TO BE INSULTED AT A TABLE,

I'M NOT GONNA TOLERATE.

- "DONNA FROM FAIRFIELD, IOWA,
SAID,

"HEY, KEN, HOW COULD YOU SAY

"YOUR HOUSEKEEPER HAS
A PRIVILEGED LIFE?

IT'S BEVERLY HILLS,
NOT DOWNTON ABBEY."

- BEFORE I ANSWER THAT QUESTION,

I JUST WANT TO SAY TO YOLANDA
THAT I'M SORRY

FOR SAYING
THAT YOU WERE ACTING STUPID.

AND I'D ALSO LIKE
TO APOLOGIZE TO KIM,

EVEN THOUGH
I WAS REALLY ANNOYED,

THAT I MENTIONED THAT
YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN DRINKING.

THAT PROBABLY HURT YOU,
AND I DON'T LIKE TO DO THAT.

NOW, ROSIA IS THE MOST
PRIVILEGED HOUSEKEEPER...

- SHE IS.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS OR L.A.
BECAUSE SHE GETS TO LOOK...

LOOK AFTER HIM ALL DAY LONG.

- SHE DOES HAVE
A PRETTY GOOD JOB.

- SO I'D RATHER HAVE HER JOB
THAN MINE.

- YOLANDA AND KIM,
DO YOU ACCEPT KEN'S APOLOGY?

I KNOW THAT BOTH OF YOU WERE...

- YEAH, YOU KNOW, FOR ME,
IT'S ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

BEING HEARD
AND BEING ACKNOWLEDGED,

AND, YEAH, OF COURSE
I ACCEPT HIS APOLOGY.

YOU KNOW, I...

- BUT I ONLY REALLY APOLOGIZED

FOR WHEN I SAID
THE STUPID COMMENT.

- YEAH.
- KIM?

- I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY,
DEFINITELY.

AND THANK YOU
FOR SAYING THAT, SO...

- BUT THEN AGAIN,
NONE OF US ARE PERFECT,

AND WE ALL HAVE
A BITCHY SIDE SOMETIMES...

- BELIEVE ME.

- AND, YOU KNOW,
IT'S JUST PART OF LIFE.

- I'M GONNA BE 50 THIS YEAR.
I'M GETTING OLD AND...

- YES, YOU ARE.
- YOU KNOW, AND I'M MAKING...

[laughter]

I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON TODAY
EITHER.

- IT MIGHT HAVE HURT YOU,
WHAT I SAID,

BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING CALLED
A GRUMPY, OLD MAN

IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF VIEWERS?

IT'S NOT NICE.

- AT THE LAST PARTY, YOLANDA,

YOU MADE IT CLEAR THAT

KEN WAS NOT TO PUT
HIS HANDS ON YOU.

DID YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE
OVERREACTING AT ALL OR...

- NO. I JUST... YOU KNOW,
OBVIOUSLY, KEN WAS, WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HE WAS GOING THROUGH.

BUT HE WAS JUST NOT HAPPY.

AND I REALLY FELT THAT

HE KIND OF CLUMPED ME IN WITH
EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON

WHILE I HADN'T EVEN HAD

A CONVERSATION WITH HIM
ABOUT THIS.

AND, YOU KNOW,
HE GRABBED MY ARM,

AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
I MEAN, I...

TO ME, IT DOESN'T...
IT'S NOT RIGHT.

- I WAS TRYING TO HAVE
A CONVERSATION WITH MAURICIO,

AND YOU KEPT COMING
INTO THE CONVERSATION.

AND ALL I SAID TO YOU WAS
"STAY OUT."

AND IF YOU LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE,

MY HAND IS LIKE THIS
WITH THE FINGER POINTING.

AND YOU TOUCHED MY HAND.
- NO, NO, YOU GRABBED ME.

I WON'T LIE ABOUT THAT, KEN.
- IT'S ON THE FOOTAGE.

- PLEASE.
- I SAW IT LAST NIGHT.

- YEAH, AND I FELT IT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S... I FELT IT.

- I CAN'T APOLOGIZE
FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO.

AND YOU WERE PUSHING YOURSELF
INTO THE CONVERSATION,

AND I WANTED A CONVERSATION
WITH MAURICIO.

- AS YOU FORCED... REINFORCED
YOURSELF IN THE CONVERSATION

OVER AND OVER AGAIN AS WELL.

- KEN, YOU HAD
SUCH A SWEET FRIENDSHIP

ON YOUR OWN WITH BRANDI,

AND YOU TWO HAD
SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP.

WHAT DO YOU MAKE
OF THE DISSOLUTION

OF LISA
AND BRANDI'S RELATIONSHIP

AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH BRANDI?

- AS EVERYBODY KNOWS
AND IT'S NOT EVEN IN CONTENTION,

WE WERE SO SUPPORTIVE OF BRANDI.

BRANDI DID A COUPLE OF THINGS
THAT WE DIDN'T LIKE,

AND WE DECIDED TO PULL AWAY
A LITTLE BIT.

AND WE DID
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T FEEL THAT

THE RELATIONSHIP WAS GOING
WHERE IT SHOULD GO.

- DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ALL
WILL MEND FENCES WITH BRANDI?

DO YOU... CAN YOU LET HER BACK
INTO YOUR LIFE?

- I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER
LET YOU BACK INTO MY LIFE.

- OKAY.
- I'M SORRY.

- YOU'RE A VERY
FORGIVING PERSON, THOUGH, KEN.

- AND I FORGIVE EVERYBODY.

YOU KNOW,
I JUST DON'T THINK I COULD.

SORRY.

- HE SAYS THAT NOW.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

- I DON'T...
BUT I DON'T WANT BACK IN.

- YOU KNOW, BUT AT THE MOMENT,
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

- I'M NOT GONNA SAY...
I'M EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED.

CAN I HAVE A TISSUE, PLEASE?
- YEAH.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHY HE'S HURT WITH YOU?

- I UNDERSTAND
THAT FOR EVERY ACTION

THERE'S AN EQUAL
AND OPPOSITE REACTION, SO YEAH.

WHEN I GET HURT, I STING BACK.
THAT'S WHO I AM.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FIGHTER.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. [crying]

- I KNOW THAT,

BUT YOU HAVE SAID
SOME AWFUL THINGS.

- IT'S NOT NICE TO BE DROPPED.

IT'S NOT,
WHEN I'M IN A BAD SPACE,

YOU PULLED AWAY.

I NEED SOMEONE TO STAY.

[crying]

- OKAY, MAYBE I COULD LET YOU
BACK IN.

[laughter]

I DON'T LIKE TO SEE A WOMAN CRY.

ANY WOMAN.

I'M CRYING NOW.
- YOU MADE HER CRY.

- THAT IS CUTE.

- GO AND SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

- I CAN'T GO OVER THERE.
MY HIPS HURT.

[laughter]

- AW.
- ALL RIGHT.

ON THAT NOTE,
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK.

THANKS, HUSBANDS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

COMING UP...

- SEEING HER CRY MAKES ME CRY.

IT'S BEEN HARD.

- GOT SOME QUESTIONS.

LUCIA FROM TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA,
SAID,

"JOYCE TOLD EVERYONE HER HUSBAND
HAS A BIG PEE-PEE."

[laughter]

"CARLTON SAID DAVID IS HUNG
LIKE A [bleep] DONKEY.

"DO THE GUYS CARE
THAT THEIR WIVES TALK

ABOUT THEIR PACKAGES LIKE THAT?"

- WELL, LISTEN.

[laughter]

IT'S PROBABLY NOT THE WORST
REPUTATION ON THE PLANET.

- SEE, I WOULD BE TELLING
EVERYBODY IT'S TINY,

SO NOBODY WOULD WANT IT.
- DON'T GIVE HER THESE IDEAS.

- YOU SAID,
"TELL PEOPLE IT'S LITTLE."

- DON'T GIVE HER THESE IDEAS,
LISA.

- YEAH. SORRY. [all laughing]

- WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS.

I'M ANDY COHEN.

WHAT A SEASON IT'S BEEN.

JOYCE, HAPPY
IT'S IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR?

- I THINK IT WAS FUN OVERALL.

I MEAN, I MET SOME GREAT FRIENDS

THAT I KNOW WILL BE
IN MY LIFE FOREVER,

AND I MET SOME PEOPLE
THAT I WAS SAD

TO DISCOVER
THEY'RE BACKSTABBERS.

BUT OVERALL,
IT WAS A GOOD EXPERIENCE.

- CARLTON?
- I THINK MY EXPERIENCE

WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.

IT WAS THE CHALLENGE I DESIRED,

AND I DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS.

I MAY HAVE MADE
A COUPLE OF MISTAKES,

BUT I DEFINITELY
DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS.

- KIM?

- ANDY, I JUST HAD
ANOTHER GREAT YEAR.

AND THE RELATIONSHIP
THAT MY SISTER AND I HAVE TODAY,

MY FRIENDSHIP WITH BRANDI
JUST CONTINUES TO GROW.

YOLANDA AND I
HAVE GOTTEN CLOSER.

I MADE A NEW FRIEND
WITH JOYCE AND CARLTON.

AND LISA AND I
ARE ON OUR WAY BACK, I HOPE,

TO A NICE FRIENDSHIP,
AND I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU.

- [laughs]
- AND I STILL LOVE TURTLES.

AND I LOVE MY DOG
AND MY FAMILY AND...

I LOVE LIFE.
- VERY NICE. VERY NICE.

- YOLANDA,
ALONG WITH YOUR NEW HAIRCUT,

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A POTENTIAL
FOR A GREAT, HEALTHY NEW YEAR.

IT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE ON THE REBOUND.

- YOU KNOW, I REALIZED AND I'VE
LEARNED IN THE LAST TWO YEARS

THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

IS THAT WE'RE HEALTHY.

WITHOUT OUR HEALTH, YOU KNOW,
NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS.

SO YES, I'M VERY BLESSED.

- BRANDI, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

- I'M JUST
EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED.

- DO YOU FEEL HOPEFUL AND SAD?

- YEAH, I MEAN, I DON'T WANT
TO CRY ANYMORE, SO...

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ANYMORE.

- THEN THAT MEANS
YOU'RE STILL PRETTY UPSET.

- IT'S NOT UPSETTING.

IT'S JUST LIKE KEN JUST
WENT OVER AND GAVE ME A HUG,

AND IT MADE MY NIGHT, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S ALL.

- LISA, YOU CAME IN
FEELING ISOLATED.

- YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S BEEN
A STRESSFUL YEAR FOR ME TOO.

SEEING HER CRY MAKES ME CRY.

IT'S BEEN HARD.

- YOU CAME IN
FEELING REALLY HURT BY,

YOU KNOW...
BY A LOT OF THE WOMEN AND...

- YEAH, I FELT SO HURT. YEAH.

- ARE YOU SURPRISED

BY THE LEVEL OF EMOTION THAT
THEY HAVE TOWARDS YOU AS WELL?

- YEAH,
AND I LOVED MEETING JOYCE.

I STARTED OFF
ON A REALLY BAD PLACE WITH HER,

BUT IT KIND OF GOT BETTER,

AND CARLTON,
SO I'M HAPPY FOR THAT.

JUST, YOU KNOW,

I THINK THEY'RE
ALL AMAZING WOMEN, REALLY.

JUST INDIVIDUALLY,

SOMETIMES SOME OF THEM
JUST DON'T GO TOGETHER.

- [chuckling]

- ANYWAYS, CHEERS TO THAT.
- UM, KYLE?

- WELL, THIS SEASON STARTED OUT,

I THOUGHT WOULD MAYBE BE
MY LEAST FAVORITE EVER.

AND OBVIOUSLY, CARLTON AND I
DIDN'T DO WELL.

SO... BUT I'VE ALWAYS CARED
ABOUT LISA,

AND I'M VERY HOPEFUL.

AND I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW,
COMING HERE TODAY

AND ALL OF US TALKING LIKE THIS,
WE CAN HOPEFULLY END UP

IN A BETTER PLACE AND...

- WE PROBABLY WISH WE WOULD'VE
DONE THAT SIX MONTHS AGO.

RIGHT? - YEAH, RIGHT.

- YEAH, BUT...

- KYLE, WHAT'S MAURICIO'S TOAST?

- OH.

- ARRIBA.

ABAJO...
- PARA EL CENTRO, PA' DENTRO.

- VERY GOOD.
- YEAH.

- I GOT IT RIGHT.
- WHOO-HOO.

- [laughs]
- THAT'S AMAZING.

- I SPILLED A LITTLE BIT
ON MYSELF.

- CHEERS. [glasses clinking]

- CHEERS, CHEERS.
- FRIENDSHIPS.

- FRIENDSHIP.
- FOR FRIENDSHIPS.