The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 4, Episode 17 - Lines in the Sand - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- I WAS WITH JOYCE,

AND SHE'S GOING TO PUERTO RICO,

AND I WAS THINKING, WOULDN'T
IT BE FUN IF WE WENT TOO?

- YEAH.

- JOYCE'S DAD DIED YESTERDAY.

YESTERDAY JOYCE CALLED ME

TO TELL ME THAT HER FATHER
PASSED AWAY.

- IF THAT'S THE CASE,
WE SHOULD NOT GO.

- ON THE TRIP.
YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD CANCEL.

- YOU REALLY ARE
THE BEST HUSBAND,



THE BEST DADDY,
THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD.

- THE BEST HUSBAND
AND THE BEST DADDY.

- I'M SUPER SHOCKED
THAT KYLE AND LISA

ARE BFFs AGAIN.

THIS IS WEIRD.

- I WISH YOU WOULD
HAVE CALLED ME YESTERDAY

AND NOT TEXTED ME
TWO MINUTES BEFORE.

- DARLING, I'M SORRY.

- YOU'RE CANCELING TWO MINUTES

BEFORE YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE?

I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?

I THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSER
THAN THAT.

- ARE YOU SURE, YOLANDA...

- SHE KNOWS
THAT I WOULD BE ATTENDING



TO THE WEDDING
OF MY STEPDAUGHTER.

- MAYBE SHE JUST FORGOT.
SHE HAS GOING ON SO MUCH...

- AMNESIA?

- GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
SUPPORTIVE KEN AND I HAVE BEEN

OVER THIS WHOLE...
I'M ON RICHARD'S SIDE.

FORGET IT. IT'S DONE.

- AND THE REASON I WANT TO SAY
IT IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE.

IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD,
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT...

- BUT I HAVE MOVED FORWARD.

- I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW
TO MOVE FORWARD IN A FRIENDSHIP

WITH SOMEONE THAT POSSIBLY
IS ONLY USING ME

TO GET WHAT THEY NEED.

I KNOW THAT LISA KNEW
THAT SHE KNOWS EDDIE'S MISTRESS

BEFORE SHE MET ME.

LISA'S PLAYING THE BIGGEST
CHESS GAME OF ALL.

THERE'S A REASON
FOR EVERY [bleep] MOVE.

SHE'S PLAYING ALL OF US.

[upbeat music]

- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.

I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.

- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

ACT LIKE ONE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, THE HIGHER
YOU CLIMB, THE FARTHER YOU FALL.

- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,

ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.

- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK... IT SWEARS.

- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.

- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE THE LEAD.

- I'M GONNA GO FORWARD
WITH THE TRIP TO PUERTO RICO

BECAUSE I WANT THE GIRLS
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

AND TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL ISLAND,

AND I KNOW MY FATHER
WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THAT WAY.

HE WOULD HAVE WANTED ME
TO CONTINUE WITH MY LIFE.

- I'M GOING,
AND IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING.

I'M NOT SURE THAT THIS IS GOING
TO BE A HARMONIOUS TRIP,

SHALL WE SAY?

WHEREVER WE'RE GOING, VALLARTA,

RICA... COSTA RICA...
WHEREVER WE'RE GOING.

THINK I'VE GOT ENOUGH PINK BRAS?

- WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A BLACK ONE, THEN?

- IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF TRIP.

- THAT'S A HUGE BAG.

WHY DON'T YOU GET
OUT OF YOUR BAG,

AND WHY DON'T WE PUT
SOME STUFF IN IT?

- I WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE
IN THIS SUITCASE.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO GOING ON A VACATION.

I SPEAK SPANISH.

I SAY THINGS LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

- ALEXIA, SOPHIA, DID ONE OF YOU
STEAL MY BLUE BIKINI?

- NO!

- AND THEN YOU STOLE
HALF OF MY RED ONE.

I DIDN'T GET VERY FAR
IN MY CONVERSATION WITH LISA,

SO I'M HOPING THAT A FEW DAYS
OF FUN IN PUERTO RICO

WILL BE GOOD FOR US.

- GIGGY, I KNOW
YOU'RE DEPRESSED.

HE HATES IT
WHEN HE SEES A SUITCASE.

- HI.
- BUENOS DIAS.

- HERE YOU GO.

- SO I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU
GUYS SOMETHING REALLY QUICK

NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE.

YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY FATHER.

AND...

AND, UM, I DIDN'T WANT
TO TELL YOU GUYS

BECAUSE WE HAD
BEEN PLANNING THIS TRIP.

SO I DIDN'T WANT IT
TO BE A SAD TRIP,

AND I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE A SAD TRIP.

I WANT YOU GUYS
TO HAVE A GREAT TIME

IN MY BEAUTIFUL PUERTO RICO.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
A PITY PARTY

BECAUSE MY FATHER HATED THAT
AND I HATED THAT.

SO I WANT US TO ALL GO HAVE FUN

AND HAVE A GREAT TRIP
IN PUERTO RICO.

OKAY?

- EVERYBODY DEALS
WITH GRIEF DIFFERENTLY,

AND I THINK RIGHT NOW
IT'S NOT ABOUT US.

IT'S ABOUT HER,
AND WE HAVE TO GO,

AND WE HAVE TO SUPPORT HER.

- VAMANOS.
- VAMANOS.

I WAS MISS PUERTO RICO
A LONG TIME AGO.

IT WAS 1998.

AND WHEN I STILL GO BACK HOME,

I STILL FEEL THAT SAME LOVE
AND THAT SUPPORT.

- WELCOME.

WELCOME TO PUERTO RICO.
WATCH YOUR STEP.

- THANK YOU.

- GRACIAS. GRACIAS.
- [speaking Spanish]

- JOYCE, WHERE ARE WE GOING?

IT BETTER BE...
JOYCE, IT BETTER BE GOOD.

- HOLD ON.

- YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.

- IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD FOR ME
TO HOLD MY TONGUE FOR THIS LONG,

AND I KNOW I NEED TO HAVE
A CONVERSATION WITH LISA.

IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN SOON
BEFORE I EXPLODE.

- GRACIAS. ¿COMO ESTA?
- SI.

LET'S GO UP HERE.
MY NAME IS STEVE.

I AM VALET FOR CASITAS.

LET ME HELP YOU
WITH THE LUGGAGE, SIR.

- HOLA, HOLA. ¿COMO ESTA?

- BIENVENIDO. WELCOME.
- GRACIAS.

- MY NAME IS STEVE.

WE HAVE SOME WELCOME DRINKS
HERE FOR YOU.

- GRACIAS. CHEERS, YOU GUYS.

CHEERS, CHEERS, CHEERS.

TO A NICE TRIP,
TO BEAUTIFUL PUERTO RICO.

- WELCOME TO PUERTO RICO.

- BIENVENIDOS. WELCOME.
FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.

- [speaking Spanish]

- WE'LL TAKE UP...
[speaking Spanish]

[frogs croaking]
- WHAT IS THAT NOISE?

- IT'S A LITTLE FROG.
IT'S THE NATIONAL FROG.

IT ONLY LIVES HERE,
AND IT'S CALLED COQUI,

AND WHEN YOU HEAR THEM SING
IT MEANS THEY'RE MATING.

- OH.

- YOUR CASITAS.

- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.

- YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN.

- OCEAN VIEW.
- OH, HOW PRETTY.

- YOU CAN ENJOY THE SUNRISE.

- WHAT TIME DOES THAT HAPPEN?

- AROUND 6:00, QUARTER TO 6:00.

- YEAH, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

- OKAY, IT'S NOT QUITE
THE BATHROOM LIKE AT HOME-ISH.

- DARLING, WE'RE RIGHT
OUTSIDE THE POOL.

- ARE WE SHARING THIS BATHROOM?

GIGGY'S BATHROOM
IS BIGGER THAN THIS.

- STUNNING VIEW... I LOVE IT.

- NO, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK
FOR US AT ALL.

I DON'T THINK I'VE SHARED
A BATHROOM WITH KEN,

AND I DON'T THINK I WANT TO.

THAT KIND OF BATHROOM
LEADS TO MARITAL PROBLEMS.

I DIDN'T COME ON HOLIDAY
TO RELAX

AND SEE HIM SITTING
ON THE TOILET.

LET'S BE HONEST.

- [groans]

[chuckles]

- I'M HAVING A GLASS OF WINE

'CAUSE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT A FEW THINGS.

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW,
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

HOW IT CAME UP.

BEING WITH ALL THE GIRLS TODAY,

I JUST... I'M JUST
REALLY SURPRISED

OF HOW ALL OF A SUDDEN
DYNAMICS HAVE CHANGED

IN THIS GROUP.
- COMPLETELY CHANGED.

- LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I SEE, LIKE...

- LISA HASN'T CALLED ME
IN A WEEK.

- SHE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU.
I DON'T SEE HER AROUND YOU.

- SHE CALLS ME EVERY MORNING.

- USUALLY SHE'S, LIKE,
RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE,

NEXT TO YOU.

- I FEEL LIKE...
I SAID, "I'VE CALLED YOU.

"YOU'VE NOT CALLED ME BACK.

"YOU USUALLY CALL ME
EVERY MORNING.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

AND I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M ON THE DOWN.

LIKE, THINGS AREN'T
GOING GREAT FOR ME,

BUT THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW
WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.

SO MUCH HAS BEEN BUILDING UP
WITH LISA,

AND EVERYTHING'S REALLY STARTING

TO KIND OF TEAR ME DOWN INSIDE.

LISA HAS TO BE INVOLVED
IN EVERYTHING.

SO, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T
INVOLVE HER,

SHE'S PUTTING HER NOSE INTO IT.

THIS IS FROM KYLE.

IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
THAT SHE GAVE YOU.

- THAT'S WEIRD.

THAT NECKLACE WAS BLUE,
WASN'T IT?

- THEN SHE WALKS AWAY
AND DENIES EVERYTHING.

- SHE SAID DOES...

I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT,
THE BLUE THING?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID.

- YOU SAID IT DOESN'T EVEN GO
WITH THE NECKLACE.

- NO, I DIDN'T. NO, I DIDN'T.

- SHE ONLY REALLY
SEEMS TO SHOW CONCERN

WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE AROUND.

- I'M FINE.

- "I'M FINE"
DOESN'T WORK WITH ME.

- I'M FINE.
- LISA.

- AND WORST OF ALL,

SHE'S CONSTANTLY
PUSHING SCHEANA ON ME,

THE [bleep] WHORE
THAT [bleep] MY HUSBAND

WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.

- YOU'RE LUCKY SHE DIDN'T
BEAT THE [bleep] OUT OF YOU,

'CAUSE SHE WOULD...

- WELL, THIS RING
MIGHT HAVE MADE AN INDENT.

- OH, CUTE. CONGRATULATIONS.

- YOU'RE NOT HAPPY FOR ME.

- WHEN DO YOU ASK SOMEONE
IF THEY ARE YOUR REAL FRIEND

OR SOMETHING ELSE?

- YOU CAN'T KNOCK DOWN
YOUR FRIENDS

ON THE WAY TO YOUR SUCCESS.

- OR PICK AND CHOOSE
WHEN THEY WORK FOR YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- WELL, THE THING IS
SHE'S ALREADY STEPPED ON KYLE.

SHE'S NOW KIND OF PULLING
AND STEPPING ON ME.

AND IT'S LIKE... BUT SO NOW
SHE'S GOING BACK TO KYLE,

BUT, LIKE, HOW DOES THAT...

- BUT WHERE IS EVERYBODY'S
MORAL COMPASS IN THIS?

I MEAN, WHY DOES SOMEBODY
CAN HURT YOU THAT DEEPLY

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

WITHOUT HAVING
A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT

JUST PRETEND EVERYTHING IS OKAY?

LISA NEVER HAS ANYTHING NICE
TO SAY ABOUT KYLE.

SHE JUST HASN'T,
AND THAT'S THE TRUTH.

- YOU'VE JUST GOT TO PUT
YOUR HOUSE ON THE MARKET,

AND YOU'RE GONNA BOND
REALLY QUICK.

[laughter]

OH, GOD.

- THEN SHE SWITCHED FROM THERE

TO ALL OF A SUDDEN
SHE'S BACK TO KYLE

THROWING PARTIES.

WELL, SOMETHING IS WRONG
WITH THAT PICTURE.

I'M NOT A FAKE PERSON LIKE THAT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HER
THIS TOMORROW,

IS, LIKE, THE FACT THAT...

- ARE YOU GONNA
TELL HER TOMORROW?

- I NEED TO.
I CAN'T WALK AROUND FAKE.

I'M DONE WITH ALL THIS
HOLLYWD BULL[bleep],

YOU KNOW, OF PRETENDING
EVERYTHING IS OKAY.

- I WANT TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF

AND NOT LET THIS BULL[bleep]
KEEP HAPPENING.

HAVING SAID THAT,
I'M STILL SCARED OF HER.

- OOH, BLOODY HELL.

- WINDY.
- YEAH, IT IS.

BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH. LOOK AT IT.

THIS IS WHY WE CAME.

- AFTER YOU, DARLING.

OH, IT'S PROBABLY GUAVA JUICE.

- MORNING.
- THIS IS WHY WE CAME.

- HELLO.
- HEY, THERE'S OUR HOSTESS.

- HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS.

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD MORNING.

- BUENOS DIAS.
- BUENOS DIAS.

- WHO WANTS SOME
BAGEL CREAM CHEESE?

- THESE ARE DELICIOUS, GIRLS.

THEY'RE CALLED QUESITOS.

NORMALLY THEY MAKE IT
VERY LONG WITH CHEESE INSIDE.

IT'S A VERY TYPICAL THING HERE.

BECAUSE I'M SPENDING
THE AFTERNOON

WITH MY MOTHER AND MY FAMILY,

FOR THE LADIES I'VE ORGANIZED,

THEY'RE GONNA GO TO PALOMINITO.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL ISLAND.

THE BEACHES ARE STUNNING.

THE FERRY'S GONNA LEAVE
TO TAKE YOU GUYS.

GIRLS, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- BYE. HAVE FUN, HONEY.

- HATS ANYONE?
- OH, MY GOD.

- [speaking Spanish]

[chuckles]

[boat horn blares]
- HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE THE [bleep]
IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

- COMING UP...

- YOU'RE MOVING AWAY FROM ME
AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M REALLY UPSET.

- LISA, WALKING AWAY
IS NOT GONNA SOLVE IT.

- LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS WATER.

OH, MY GOSH,
AND THE SAND IS SO WHITE.

- THIS IS AMAZING.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT?

- GIRLS, LOOK AT ME.
GIRLS, ONE, TWO, THREE.

[camera shutter clicks]

- OH, MY GOD.
- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

- THIS IS MY IDEA
OF AN ACTUAL VACATION.

- THIS IS WHY WE'RE HERE.

- BYE. THANK YOU.

- IT'S SO CUTE.

- OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO WARM.

- HOW'S THE WATER?

- WOW. IT'S GORGEOUS.

- WELCOME TO PALOMINO ISLAND.

- WOW. IS IT NO ALCOHOL?

- NO ALCOHOL, RIGHT HERE.

- CHEERS.

- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE,
A VIRGIN PIÑA COLADA AS WELL?

- YES, I DO.

- BEAUTIFUL.
- NO ALCOHOL?

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT
IT WAS ACTUALLY AN OPTION.

IF I'M GONNA SPEAK TO LISA,

THE MOST STRATEGIC PERSON
ON THE PLANET,

I'M GONNA HAVE MY "A" GAME ON,

SO NO COCKTAILS FOR ME.

- DO YOU HAVE TO STICK
THAT ASS IN MY FACE?

- YEP.

- OKAY, JUST CHECKING.

- WHO WANTS TO GO FOR A SWIM?

GUYS, YOU WANT TO GO FOR A SWIM?

- NO, THANK YOU.

- I'LL GO.

- UGH.

- THERE ISN'T A BAD VIBE
ON THE SAND.

THERE ISN'T A BAD VIBE
IN THE WATER.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

[both laugh]

- AY YI YI.

- BRANDI'S FRUSTRATED
AND VERY HURT.

AND I HAVE MY OWN THINGS
WITH LISA.

- OH, YOU'RE NOT REALLY
GONNA PLAY FOOTBALL, ARE YOU?

- JUST GONNA HIT THE BALL...

- JUST RELAX. HAVE A LOUNGE.

DON'T BE SUCH A BOY.

- [groans]

- IF I DON'T START
THE CONVERSATION,

NOBODY WILL.

SO I WANT TO GET IT OVER
AND DONE WITH.

- DID YOU ORDER LUNCH, YOU GUYS?

- WE ORDERED DRINKS.

- I ORDERED A CHICKEN SANDWICH.

AM I IN THE SUN AT ALL?
- NOT AT ALL.

- OKAY.

- LET'S SIT SOMEWHERE
WHERE WE CAN TALK.

- WAIT. WHAT HAPPENED?

- BRANDI'S UPSET
BECAUSE SHE FEELS

THAT THERE'S A DIVIDE
IN THE GROUP.

YOU KIND OF, LIKE, FLIPPED
AND STOPPED CALLING HER.

YOU THREW A BIRTHDAY PARTY
FOR MAURICIO AND...

- BUT THAT'S NOTHING
TO DO WITH BRANDI.

THAT'S GOT NOTHING
TO DO WITH HER.

IT'S RIDICULOUS TO SAY
I'VE GOT CLOSER TO KYLE.

YEAH, WE DECIDED
TO HAVE A PARTY TOGETHER.

WHOOP-DE-DOO.

- IT KIND OF HAD
TO DO WITH EVERYBODY,

BECAUSE WE ALL THOUGHT
THAT YOU SAID

THAT HE WAS A USER
AND THAT HE WAS FRIENDS WITH...

- OH, COME ON, WE HAD WORDS.
WE SORTED IT OUT.

SUDDENLY SHE WAS KIND OF COZYING
UP TO ADRIENNE,

AND I KNEW A LOT OF IT
WAS BASED AROUND

THIS WHOLE BUSINESS DECISION,

BECAUSE THEY WANTED THE LISTING
ON ADRIENNE'S HOUSE.

- BUT DID YOU EVER SORT IT OUT?

- YES.

WE DECIDED TO RESOLVE IT,

AND THAT'S PART OF LIFE,
ISN'T IT, HAVING DIFFERENCES.

YOU RESOLVE THEM,
AND YOU MOVE ON.

- BUT NOBODY ELSE IN THE GROUP
KNEW YOU GUYS HAD MOVED ON.

- BUT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO?
IT'S KYLE AND I.

- BECAUSE WE WERE
ALL PART OF IT.

IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A STATEMENT

ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE'S HUSBAND,

THEN YOU GOT TO BACK IT UP.

AND IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND
ABOUT THAT STATEMENT,

YOU GOT TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

BUT THAT HAS NEVER COME
OUT OF LISA'S MOUTH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS.

- BUT WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY?

- BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU
TO TRY AND UPSET ME NOW.

- BUT WE'RE HAVING
A CONVERSATION.

- NO.
- WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION.

- I HAVEN'T DONE
ANYTHING WRONG, YOLANDA.

I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

- ARE WE FRIENDS,
OR ARE WE NOT FRIENDS?

AM I YOUR HOLLYWOOD FRIEND,
OR AM I A REAL FRIEND?

- OKAY.

- ARE WE GIRLFRIENDS,
OR ARE WE HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS?

- WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO AGGRESSIVE?

- I'M NOT AGGRESSIVE.
I DON'T LIKE YOU WALKING AWAY.

WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION,
A HEART-TO-HEART.

- BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO BE UPSET NOW.

- CAN I JUST INTERJECT HERE?

I THINK A LOT OF THIS
HAS TO DO WITH ME, ACTUALLY.

- WHY?
- BECAUSE...

- I DON'T HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH YOU.

- I USED TO TALK TO YOU
ALMOST EVERY MORNING.

YOU DECIDED TO BE BEST FRIENDS
WITH KYLE AGAIN.

- KYLE AND I HAVE HARDLY SPOKEN.

- SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE
CALLING HER IN THE MORNINGS NOW.

- OH, DARLING,
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

- LIKE, I WANT TO KNOW, LIKE,
THAT MY FRIENDS ARE AROUND ME,

EVEN WHEN I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT
AND THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.

- SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU,
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN UPSET,

AND I'VE ALWAYS COMFORTED YOU.

I REALLY HAVE.
WE'VE HAD SOME DIFFICULT TIMES.

AND I'VE BEEN THERE.
- SHE'S GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE.

- YEAH, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU'RE MOVING AWAY FROM ME

AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.

BUT IT DOES FEEL THAT WAY.

YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME.

YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED IN ON ME
LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO.

- OH, I HAVE, BRANDI. BRANDI...

- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE?

- BRANDI, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU CALLED ME?

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK
IT WAS AN ISSUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY UPSET.

- LISA, WALKING AWAY
IS NOT GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.

- WELL, I DON'T WANT TO STAY.

- YOU SEE, THAT'S THE THING.

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE
A CONVERSATION,

AND SHE KEEPS
WALKING AWAY, YOU KNOW?

- I DIDN'T GET TO EVEN START,
REALLY, WHAT I WANTED TO SAY,

BECAUSE LISA WALKED AWAY
BECAUSE SHE CAN'T HANDLE

HAVING JUST AN HONEST
CONVERSATION.

IT'S JUST FRUSTRATING.

- SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO HAVE
A HEART-TO-HEART

WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN ORDER
TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL,

AND SHE SEEMS TO BE
AFRAID OF THAT.

- HELLO.
- WHAT'S UP?

- [crying] THEY'RE JUST MEAN.
- HUH?

WHO'S MEAN?

- ALL OF THEM.
- WHO'S MEAN?

- ALL OF THEM, AND I WANT TO GO.

- YOU ALL RIGHT?

- I'M NOT A MEAN GIRL. I'M NOT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE.

- IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
IN THAT POSITION TOO,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD
TO PUT IT BEHIND US

SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.

- I DON'T WANT TO GO
AGAINST LISA,

BECAUSE I'VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU GO AGAINST LISA.

BUT I FEEL LIKE
RIGHT NOW WITH KYLE,

I HAVE TO BE FULL DISCLOSURE,

BECAUSE KYLE KEEPS
RUNNING BACK TO LISA,

AND LISA WANTS TO TAKE HER
[bleep] DOWN.

KYLE NEEDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

WE WERE LEAVING FOR PALM SPRINGS
FROM MY HOUSE.

YOLANDA WAS THERE,
LISA WAS THERE.

I HAD THE TABLOIDS AT MY HOUSE
THAT WERE NOT GOOD.

SHE PUT IT IN MY LUGGAGE.

SHE GOES,
"YOU NEED TO BRING THIS."

AND I SAID,
"I'M NOT [bleep] BRINGING THAT."

AND SHE PUT IT BACK
IN MY LUGGAGE.

AND WHEN WE WENT TO LEAVE,
I PUT IT BACK IN THE HOUSE.

AND I'M JUST...
I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

I'M NOT THAT PERSON.
I DIDN'T... I'M NOT...

LIKE, WE ALL KNOW IT EXISTS.

WE DIDN'T NEED TO,
LIKE, HAVE IT.

FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- YOU WHAT?

- I'M AN IDIOT.

BECAUSE LISA AND I
HAVE HAD A FRIENDSHIP

THAT I HAVE BEEN
TRYING TO REPAIR,

HEARING THAT,
IF IT'S REALLY TRUE,

FELT LIKE A KNIFE IN MY CHEST.

- KYLE, HONESTLY, I WOULDN'T...

- I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.
I KNOW THAT.

- YEAH, I GOT TO THAT HOUSE,
AND THEY WERE THERE.

I JUST WAS LIKE, "I'M... NO.
LIKE, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING."

- [sighs] WOW.

- I'M YOUR FRIEND, RIGHT?

BUT IS SHE?

- COMING UP...

- I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

I'M PISSED. I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

- HONEY!

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- I'M YOUR FRIEND, RIGHT?

BUT IS SHE?

WHEN YOU GET MAD, THAT'S WHAT
YOU DO TO YOUR FRIENDS?

OR YOU HAVE A DISAGREEMENT...

THAT'S THE KIND
OF STUFF YOU PULL?

- WELL, CLEARLY
THAT'S NOT MY FRIEND.

IT'S SO FUNNY, BECAUSE
I HEAR [bleep] ALL THE TIME,

THAT, "I WOULD NEVER DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT."

- NOT LIKE THAT,
AND THAT'S SO BIG.

- I REALLY HOPE THAT WHAT BRANDI
IS SAYING IS NOT TRUE.

BUT DESPITE WHAT LISA HAS SAID,

SHE HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN
SUPPORTIVE OF ME.

- THERE'S ALL THESE NASTY RUMORS
ABOUT MAURICIO.

- I THINK LISA'S NOT DONE
PUNISHING ME.

- THAT'S THE REASON I MADE UP
WITH YOU THAT DAY.

THAT'S WHY I HUGGED YOU
IN THE BATHROOM,

BECAUSE I COULD NEVER IMAGINE
ME BEING IN THE POSITION

THAT YOU WERE IN THAT DAY,

WITH THE MAGAZINE COMING OUT,
YOUR BABY'S INVOLVED.

- [crying] I CAN'T TAKE SOMEONE
BEING SO MEAN TO ME.

- PLEASE DON'T CRY.

ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND I

JUST SEEMED SO... - PETTY.

- SO PETTY, AND IN THESE TIMES,

YOU STAND UP
FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

AND YOU PROTECT EACH OTHER.

- I WOULD NEVER SIT AROUND
LIKE THAT

IF ONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS UPSET.

WOULD YOU SIT THERE

AND SIT AROUND
AND TALK ABOUT THEM, HUH?

- WHAT IS THAT?
- CHICKEN.

- LISA.

- NO, THANKS, KYLE.
- YOU WANT TO COME OVER HERE?

- NO, I'VE BEEN THERE.

FIVE AGAINST ONE
IS NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME.

I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM.

I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALMOST
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

- I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY, YOLANDA,

YOU HAVE TO BRING IT UP
WHEN WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

- WHY WOULDN'T I BRING IT UP?

- BUT IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.

- THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU, KEN.

- WHAT? THAT'S MY WIFE.

SHE'S UPSET.
SHE WANTS TO GO HOME.

- UPSET BECAUSE WE'RE
HAVING A CONVERSATION?

- WHY DON'T YOU LET
BRANDI DO IT?

IF BRANDI'S THE ONE
WHO'S UPSET...

- DARLING, YOU DON'T
NEED TO SAY ANYTHING.

- IF WE WANT TO BE FRIENDS
WITH KYLE AND MAURICIO, WE WILL.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHO TO BE
FRIENDS WITH AND WHO NOT TO BE.

- THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T APPRECIATE

YOU TALKING TO ME
THAT WAY, OKAY?

- LIKE WHAT?

- I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION
WITH YOUR WIFE.

- NO, YOU WEREN'T.
YOU CAME OVER TO TALK TO US.

- SHE'S 55-SOMETHING YEARS OLD.

- I'M ACTUALLY 52, THANK YOU.

- 52. IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEAK FOR HER.

I'M NOT 12 YEARS OLD.
I'M AN ADULT WOMAN.

YOU KNOW, AND WHAT, YOUR WIFE
DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH?

- YO, WAIT.

- I DON'T LIKE TO BE TALKED TO

BY SOMEBODY'S HUSBAND.

WHAT I'M SEEING
IS A WHOLE OTHER SIDE

TO KEN AND LISA

THAT I DON'T REALLY LIKE.

IT'S LIKE, COME ON.

- DID YOU TELL BRANDI
TO PACK THE TABLOIDS

FOR PALM SPRINGS?

- PACK THE TABLOIDS?

WHAT TABLOIDS?

- THE TABLOIDS THAT HAD LIES
ABOUT MAURICIO.

- NO.

- THAT'S WHAT I HEARD,

THAT YOU TOLD HER SHE SHOULD
BRING THEM TO PALM SPRINGS.

- I DIDN'T SEE THEM.

I DIDN'T SEE THEM
TILL AFTER WE GOT BACK.

SHE BOUGHT THEM AND HAD THEM
AT HER HOUSE, I THINK.

I'M NOT SURE.

- I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT...

- I DON'T THINK
THEY WERE EVEN OUT...

- WHOEVER'S MY FRIEND IS GONNA
REALLY BE MY FRIEND

AND TELL ME THE TRUTH
AND BE HONEST

AND NOT HURT ME AND SUPPORT ME.

- I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN
HAD THEM IN PALM SPRINGS.

- I WISH THAT LISA
HAD SAID TO ME,

"I WAS JOKING.
OH, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

WE WERE MESSING AROUND."

THAT... I WOULD HAVE BEEN HURT,
BUT I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED.

I'M SO CONFUSED.

[knock at door]

- HI!
- HELLO.

- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

- BABY.
- AY, DIOS MIO.

IT'S ALWAYS GREAT
TO BE AROUND MY FAMILY.

EVEN TOUGH I'VE MODELED
AND I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS,

TO MY FAMILY,
I'M STILL THEIR BABY.

I'M STILL JOYCITA.

- THE CHEF IS HERE.
THIS LOOKS WONDERFUL, CHEF.

- REMEMBER WHEN YOU COME
THE FIRST TIME

OR... YEAH, THE FIRST TIME,

AND WE WENT
TO MARIBELLE'S HOUSE?

- YES, I REMEMBER THAT...
WHERE WE HAD THE BIG PARTY.

- YEAH.

- WHEN I JUST ARRIVED
FROM THE FREAKING AIRPORT,

AND YOU DRAGGED ME
INTO A MASSIVE PARTY

OF ALL MY LATINO FAMILY.

THAT WAS WILD.

- THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME
HE WAS SHOCKED.

THAT WAS, LIKE,
A CULTURAL SHOCK FOR HIM.

IT WAS, LIKE, A HUGE PARTY,
AND IT WAS, LIKE, 150 PEOPLE.

AND I'M LIKE,
"YEAH, EVERYBODY'S MY FAMILY."

AND HE'S LIKE, "EVERYBODY?"

AND I'M LIKE,
"EVERYBODY'S MY FAMILY."

- A BIG, BIG FAMILY.

- AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT A BIG
FAMILY DO YOU HAVE."

AND POOR MOMMY'S LIKE,

"I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
TOO MUCH WHAT HE'S SAYING.

"HE HAS AN ACCENT.

I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
TOO MUCH."

I THINK IT'S ALWAYS GREAT
TO BE AROUND MY FAMILY.

MY FAMILY IS SUCH A LOVING
AND SUPPORTING FAMILY.

IT'S TIME LIKE THIS
WHEN PEOPLE NEED SUPPORT.

- COME, WE GO FIND YOU DESSERT.

WE'LL FIND SOFIA
A LITTLE DESSERT.

- I MISS YOU A LOT.

- WELL, YOU HAVE
TO MOVE WITH ME.

AND YOU CAN SEE
THE KIDS EVERY DAY AND PLAY...

- YES.

- EVERY DAY WITH THEM.

- PROBABLY ONE OF THESE DAYS.

- WHAT DAY?
THAT'S WHAT YOU KEEP SAYING.

FOR SO MANY YEARS,
"ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL MOVE."

- I PROMISE YOU I MOVE.

- MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED
WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG,

AND I'M VERY, VERY CLOSE
WITH MY MOM.

WE TALK ABOUT THREE TIMES A DAY.

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

- SO HOW YOU FEEL?

- I'M OKAY.
- YOU'RE OKAY?

- YEAH.
- YES, BECAUSE...

- I'M A SAD A LITTLE BIT,
BUT I'M OKAY.

I THINK IT JUST...
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

IT JUST... THE PAIN I THINK JUST
IS ALWAYS THERE A LITTLE BIT,

BUT... BUT IT'S OKAY.

- DON'T BE SAD, OKAY?

- I FEEL REALLY AT PEACE

BECAUSE I HAD A LAST CHANCE
TO SEE MY FATHER

AND TO SEE HIM IN A GOOD SPOT.

HIS LAST WORDS WERE, HE TOLD ME,

"GO. I'M HAPPY. ESTOY FELIZ."

SO I THINK HE'S JUST WATCHING
FROM HEAVEN

AND TAKING CARE OF ME.

- SO MUCH BETTER
YOU BE HAPPY, AND THEN...

IT'S GOOD TO BE HAPPY.

LIKE ME, WHEN I PASS AWAY.

- NO. YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME, NO.

- NO, YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY TOO.
- THEN I'LL DIE.

- NO, UH-UH.
- NO, NO.

- I'LL SAY THAT,
WHEN I HAVE TO GO, I'M GOING.

VERY HAPPY TO. - NO.

[voice breaking]
I LOVE MY MOM SO MUCH.

SHE'S MY HERO,
AND SHE'S MY INSPIRATION,

AND I HOPE SHE'S AROUND
WHEN I DIE,

BECAUSE I CAN'T IMAGINE
WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITHOUT HER.

- DON'T BE SAD, OKAY?

NO, DON'T BE.

DON'T CRY, MY BABY.

OKAY.

[boat horn blares]

- SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

- BRANDI HAD A BUNCH

OF THE MAGAZINE TABLOIDS
WITH ALL THE LIES.

- WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE MAGAZINE, YEAH.

- YEAH, AND WE WERE ALL HEADING
DOWN TO PALM SPRINGS,

AND WHEN LISA STOPPED BY,
SHE SAID,

"OH, YOU NEED TO BRING
THE MAGAZINES."

AND BRANDI SAID,
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

WE'RE GOING DOWN TO, YOU KNOW,
HAVE A WEEKEND."

AND LISA PUT THEM
IN BRANDI'S BAG, YOU KNOW?

- THAT'S NOT COOL.

- AND BRANDI TOOK THEM OUT.

AND THEN LISA PUT THEM
BACK IN THE BAG.

LISA WANTED HER TO BRING
THEM DOWN TO STIR THE...

- THE [bleep] UP...
- MM-HMM.

- AT MY EXPENSE.

- AT YOUR EXPENSE AND KYLE
AND YOUR CHILDREN, BASICALLY.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

- IS THAT TRUE?

WELL, THAT'S A [bleep] BITCH
IF YOU ASK ME.

- RIGHT?

THESE LIES HAVE HURT MY SISTER,
HER HUSBAND, HER KIDS.

- AND THEN SHE'S REACHING OUT
TO KYLE AFTER ALL THAT STUFF?

- LISA'S OUT FOR LISA,

AND SHE DOESN'T THINK
ABOUT OTHERS.

- IF SHE HAD THEM,

I WOULD BE EXCITED
TO SEE IT, WOULDN'T I?

PACK THEM, PACK THEM.
DON'T BE SILLY.

- WELL, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

- I THINK BRANDI'S
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, YOU KNOW.

I GUESS SHE'S HAD IT
WITH KIM AND KYLE AND JOYCE

AND TAYLOR AND ADRIENNE.

I GUESS IT'S ONLY MY TURN.

WHY DIDN'T SHE PACK
THE TABLOIDS?

- 'CAUSE SHE SAID SHE TOOK 'EM
BACK OUT AGAIN.

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT.

- OH, SHE... [laughter]

- YOU BELIEVE THAT?
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THEN.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.

- IT'S JUST THE HARDEST THING.

IF YOU CAN'T COUNT ON YOUR
OWN FRIENDS THAT KNOW YOU WELL,

WHO THE [bleep]
CAN YOU COUNT ON, YOU KNOW?

- I TOLD KYLE TO BE CAREFUL.

- THE STORY
THAT I JUST HEARD FROM KIM

WAS... LIKE, WAS
VERY UPSETTING TO ME.

- WHAT?
- AND I'M [bleep] SHOCKED.

- ABOUT WHAT?

- IF IT'S TRUE
OR IF IT'S NOT TRUE.

- ABOUT WHAT?

- IS THAT
ABOUT LISA TELLING BRANDI

TO TAKE THE MAGAZINES
DOWN TO PALM SPRINGS?

- YEAH.
- IT'S SUCH A LOAD OF RUBBISH.

- I DIDN'T EVEN SEE
THE PALMS... THE MAGAZINE.

- SO YOU NEVER PUT
THE MAGAZINES IN?

- I PUT THE MAGAZINES IN?

- SHE SAID YOU PUT
THE MAGAZINES IN THE SUITCASE.

- SHE'S A [bleep] LIAR.

THIS IS BULL[bleep].

LISA IS THE BEST FRIEND
ANY ONE OF THEM COULD HAVE.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT
THEY DON'T LIKE.

SHE'S THE PERFECT WOMAN.

- NO, I'M NOT DOING THIS.

- SHE'S TOLD KYLE
THIS WHOLE TIME

THAT THEY MAY NOT
HAVE BEEN FRIENDS...

"BUT I'VE HAD YOUR BACK."

BULL[bleep].

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOMEBODY'S STIRRING UP TROUBLE.

YEAH.

EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL
ABOUT THE TABLOIDS

AND HAVE SAID VOCIFEROUSLY,

"MAURICIO, WE DON'T BELIEVE IT."

WELL, I'VE SAID PUBLICLY
I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S TRUE.

- OF COURSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

- NOBODY KNOWS DEFINITIVELY.

- I DON'T CARE.

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- NO, I'M PISSED.
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

I'M PISSED. I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
AND I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I'M PISSED.

THIS WHOLE THING IS ABOUT
THIS [bleep] MAGAZINE [bleep]

AND EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, I'M [bleep]... THIS IS...

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- I'M [bleep] OUT OF HERE.

- HE OBVIOUSLY BELIEVES IT.

- WHAT UPSETS ME
IS THAT "SUPPOSEDLY"

I HAVE THESE FRIENDS,

AND I'M SORRY,
BUT THAT'S NOT A FRIEND, OKAY,

AT ALL.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- [crying] HE'S JUST PISSED
THIS KEEPS COMING UP,

THE WHOLE THING AGAIN.

- EXACTLY. WELL, JUST IGNORE IT.

LET ME TALK TO HIM.

- I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.

- I KNOW. I DON'T... I CARE.

- EVERYBODY'S LYING.

- NOBODY'S LIED. I HAVEN'T LIED.

- EVERYBODY'S [bleep] LYING.
- ABOUT WHAT?

- I DON'T KNOW
WHO TO BELIEVE ANYMORE.

THIS ONE SAYS THIS,
AND YOU SAY THAT.

- UGH.

- KIM'S TELLING ME ONE THING.

YOU GUYS ARE TELLING ME
ANOTHER THING.

EVERYBODY'S TELLING ME
SOMETHING ELSE.

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE.

- WELL, DO YOU BELIEVE
THAT SHE WOULD PUT MAGAZINES...

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.

I DON'T KNOW... THAT'S WHAT...

YOU GOT THREE PEOPLE
SAYING THAT.

- I THINK WE SHOULD TALK
TO BRANDI.

- I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD BRING IT UP AT ALL.

I THINK YOU JUST SAY,
"FORGET IT."

- I'LL SEE YOU AT THE HOTEL.
- YEAH, LET IT GO.

- HONEY!

HONEY!

[boat horn blares] MO!

- COMING UP...

- GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- OH, STOP!

I'M TIRED OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN OLD MAN.

SHUT UP!

- HERE WE GO WITH THE STORY.

TWO-MINUTE STORY
OR TWO-HOUR STORY?

- I'LL GET A WINE. [laughter]

I'LL GET A WINE IN THE MEANTIME.

- YOU KNOW THAT
WHEN YOU'RE DATING

YOU TALK IN SPANISH LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

FOR THREE MONTHS

AND THREE MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD,

I THINK HE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING.

AND SUDDENLY HE TELLS THE LADY
THAT WAS WORKING AT HIS HOUSE,

HE'S...

[speaking Spanish]

AND I'M LIKE...

- WHAT?

- AND I LOOKED AT HIM,
AND I SAID,

"UM, DID YOU LEARN THAT
FROM ME?"

AND HE'S LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

AND I'M LIKE...

I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!"

- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

- MAURICIO'S CHANGING.
HE'S COMING NOW.

- I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GO
TO THE RESTAURANT.

- I JUST AM NOT IN THE MIND-SET
TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED ON THE BEACH,

BUT IT WASN'T
WHAT I WANTED TO HAPPEN.

IT WAS A GIANT CLUSTER[bleep].

I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SPEAK
TO LISA

ABOUT THE ISSUES
I HAVE WITH HER.

- BRANDI, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOING ON.

- WELL, I DON'T EITHER.
- LET THE BOYS SIT HERE.

- ASK SCHEANA.
- HUH?

- ASK SCHEANA.
- SCHEANA?

[overlapping chatter]

SCHEANA WHO WORKS FOR ME?

WHAT'S SHE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

- HOW CLOSE ARE YOU GUYS?

- SCHEANA AND I?

SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO PANDY
FOR FIVE YEARS...

AND WORKED FOR ME
FOR FOUR YEARS.

- I'M JUST REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

- WHAT... IN ME WITH SCHEANA?

- I'VE HAD MY SUSPICIONS
OF LISA'S RELATIONSHIP

WITH SCHEANA IN THE PAST.

I DID A LITTLE DIGGING,

AND I FOUND OUT
THAT LISA AND SCHEANA

ARE THICK AS THIEVES.

YOU GUYS, IT'S SO FUNNY.

THE WAITRESS IS THAT GIRL
SCHEANA MARIE WHATEVER

THAT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EDDIE
WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.

I KNOW LISA VERY WELL
AT THIS POINT,

AND I KNOW
SHE PLANS OUT EVERYTHING.

LISA BROUGHT SCHEANA
TO MY FACE TO HURT ME

AND TO GET PRESS FOR HERSELF.

CLEARLY HER BUSINESS
IS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ME,

BECAUSE SHE COMPLETELY USED ME.

- YOU THINK
I'M A FRIEND OF HERS?

- SO HOW OFTEN
DO YOU TALK TO SCHEANA?

HONESTLY? - SHE'S NOT MY FRIEND.

- REALLY?

- OF COURSE SHE'S NOT.
SHE'S A KID THAT WORKS FOR US.

- THERE'S NOTHING TO IT.
- THERE'S MORE TO IT.

- SHE'S WORKED FOR ME
FOR FIVE YEARS,

AND SHE RAN INTO YOU AT THE BAR.

NO, WE DIDN'T KNOW...

AT THE OPENING,
WE DIDN'T KNOW THEN.

OH, OKAY, BELIEVE SOME...
WHAT, ONE OF HER FRIENDS?

- YEAH.
- OH, NO.

NO, YOU GOT IT WRONG.

- TAKE A LIE DETECTOR TEST.

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

I'M IN IF YOU'RE IN.

LET'S DO IT.

- I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM.

I ALWAYS HAD
THE BEST INTENTION FOR BRANDI,

AND IF SHE'S MISINTERPRETED IT,
THEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

NO, BRANDI. - NO, IT'S FINE.

I MEAN, I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE
CAPITALIZING OFF MY HEARTBREAK.

IT'S AMAZING.

- SO YOU BELIEVE HER
OVER ME, THEN?

- NO, I BELIEVE
MY MUTUAL FRIEND.

- OH, WELL,
SO SCHEANA TELLS THEM,

SO YOU BELIEVE SCHEANA OVER ME?

- NO, BUT I KNOW HOW YOU PLOT.

I KNOW HOW YOU STRATEGIZE.
I KNOW HOW YOU PLAN THINGS.

- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.

THESE GIRLS ARE JUST...

IT FEELS VERY HEAVY
HERE IN THIS BUS.

- THIS IS ALL BULL[bleep].

YOU'RE JUST BRINGING THIS UP.

- I'M NOT CLOSE TO PEOPLE
WHO WORK FOR ME.

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

- DANCING WITH THE STARS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

- NO, SHE WASN'T THERE.

- SHE WAS THERE A COUPLE TIMES.

- NOT THROUGH ME.

- YOU'RE LYING.
- WHAT?

- NO, HANG ON.

- NO, THAT'S A LIE.

- I NEVER INVITED SCHEANA
TO DANCING WITH THE STARS.

- SHE'S NEVER BEEN THERE, RIGHT?

- SHE HAS BEEN THERE.
- OH, SHE HAS BEEN THERE.

SHE WENT IN CIRCLES
AND CIRCLES AND CIRCLES.

YOU'RE CAUGHT.
YOU'RE LYING. YOU'RE CAUGHT.

- THIS IS SUCH A [bleep]
STUPID ROW.

IT REALLY IS. - KEN, DON'T GET...

- BUT, LISA, IT'S REALLY STUPID.

- NO, KEN, LET IT GO.

BUT IT'S UP TO YOU
TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT,

IF THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

- SHE'S GOT THIS POWER
ABOUT HER, LIKE THIS SPELL,

AND I'VE SEEN HER
PUT IT ON PEOPLE,

AND I'VE BEEN UNDER IT.

I'M NOT UNDER IT ANYMORE.

- YOU DON'T BELIEVE?

THEN THAT'S FINE.

MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.

- HOW MUCH LONGER?

- I THINK WE'RE HERE.

- GREAT.

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD EVENING.

- HOLA.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- THIS IS PRETTY.
- VERY NICE.

- MICHAEL, I'M NEXT TO KYLE.
I LIKE IT.

- VERY NICE.
- WE ALL NEED A DRINK.

- I NEED A DRINK.

- YES, YES, YES, YES.
WE ALL NEED A DRINK, THOUGH.

- THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
- YOU WHAT?

- HI.
- HOW YOU DOING?

- LISTEN, I LOVE YOU,
AND I PROMISE YOU,

I NEVER KNEW IN THE BEGINNING.
- I LOVE YOU, TOO.

- I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE.

OKAY, WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU.

THIS LOOKS PRETTY. - YEAH.

All: CHEERS.

- YEAH, JUST A DROP.

- GO FOR IT.
GO FOR IT. GO FOR IT.

IT'S VERY JUICY.

- [speaking Spanish]

- DOES EVERYBODY HAVE
THEIR FOOD?

- YES.
- WE JUST GOT IT.

- THIS LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

- WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO TRY
THE LOBSTER COCKTAIL?

- I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY.

- WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU HAVE ANXIETY?

- I'M JUST FEELING, YOU KNOW...

- WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND
OF POWER LISA HAS OVER KYLE,

BUT IT'S VERY OBVIOUS

THAT KYLE HAS ACCEPTED A LOT
OF VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR

WITHOUT HOLDING LISA ACCOUNTABLE
FOR IT.

- I HAVE... I FEEL...

[sighs] I DON'T KNOW.

- WELL, BREATHE.

- I'M GOOD. I'M JUST...

AFTER SEEING HOW UPSET
MY HUSBAND WAS,

I FELT LIKE I WANTED
TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

AND THE ONLY WAY WAS TO ASK LISA
AND BRANDI AT THE SAME TIME.

IT'S ONLY FAIR TO GIVE LISA ONE
MORE CHANCE TO TELL THE TRUTH.

INSTEAD OF, LIKE, HEARING
TWO THINGS

FROM TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE,
I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT...

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TABLOIDS
AND THE SUITCASE.

I WANT TO KNOW.
- OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS COMING.

- YEAH. OF COURSE.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

- WHAT I WAS TOLD IS THAT
AT BRANDI'S HOUSE,

THE TABLOIDS
WERE LAYING ON THE TABLE

AND THAT YOU SAID
TO PUT THEM IN THE SUITCASE.

- I DIDN'T SEE THE TABLOIDS
UNTIL I GOT BACK.

- NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- I DON'T READ THEM.

I DIDN'T SEE THEM
UNTIL KEN SHOWED THEM TO ME.

- I HAD THEM...
- I SAW THEM.

- WE ALL SAW THEM.

- I DIDN'T PUT THEM
IN YOUR SUITCASE.

- OH, COME ON, THIS ISN'T A...

THIS IS A [bleep]
SABOTAGE ATTACK.

- I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
I WANT TO KNOW.

- YOU WENT OUT THERE
AND PLANNED THIS...

- YEAH, I SAW IT WITH YOU.
- ALL FOUR OF YOU.

YOU ARE SO STUPID!
- I SAW IT WITH YOU.

- OH, COME ON.

- WOULD YOU ASK ME
IF I WAS TOLD?

- YOU ASKED HER AT LUNCHTIME,
AND SHE TOLD YOU.

- YEAH, BUT I'M HEARING
SOMETHING ELSE FROM BRANDI.

- SHE TOLD YOU AT LUNCHTIME.

- I'M HEARING
TWO DIFFERENT STORIES.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

- OKAY,
WHO DO YOU BELIEVE, THEN?

- KEN, WHY ARE YOU GETTING
INVOLVED?

YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHY AM I GETTING INVOLVED?

DON'T BE SO STUPID.
- YOU WEREN'T THERE.

DON'T CALL ME STUPID.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
TO CALL ME STUPID?

- OH, COME ON.
- THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

WHAT, HE'S RAISING
HIS VOICE AT ME?

FOR TALKING TO HIS WIFE?

- KEN, MY HUSBAND WAS UPSET,
YOU KNOW.

- I WAS VERY PISSED.
- HE WAS VERY UPSET.

I NEED TO KNOW FOR ME.

IF THE SHOE WAS
ON THE OTHER FOOT,

YOU WOULD ASK ME STRAIGHT
TO MY FACE,

"DID YOU, OR DID YOU NOT SEE..."

- DID YOU NOT WALK
INTO MY HOUSE AND SEE IT?

- I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK THE FIRST TIME
I SAW IT...

- NO.

- OKAY, WELL, THEN
IT'S YOUR WORD AGAINST MINE.

THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT,
I THINK, WAS WITH KEN AT HOME.

- NO.

HONESTLY, YOU WANTED ME TO
BRING IT, AND I DIDN'T BRING IT.

- YEAH, I DIDN'T EVEN BUY
THE STUPID THING.

I DIDN'T LOOK AT IT.

- I'M NOT SAYING YOU BROUGHT IT!
- SHE SAID IT WAS AT HER HOUSE.

AND THEN SHE SAID
THAT YOU SAID TO HER...

- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
- "YOU NEED TO BRING THIS."

ANSWER THE QUESTION.
ANSWER THE QUESTION.

- I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

- WELL, WHY DOESN'T KIM
STAY OUT OF IT?

- BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME
THE STORY, KEN!

- WELL, LET BRANDI TALK, THEN!
- WELL, BRANDI DID TALK.

- KIM'S IN THE MIDDLE.
LET BRANDI ANSWER.

- BRANDI'S ANSWERED CLEARLY.

- KIM'S IN THE MIDDLE.
LET HER ANSWER.

- YOU JUST DON'T LIKE IT
'CAUSE SOMEBODY MAY BE ABLE

TO EXPLAIN THE GODDAMN STORY
RIGHT, KEN!

- GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- OH, STOP!

I'M TIRED OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN OLD MAN.
SHUT UP!

- STOP. PLEASE STOP.
- HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

- STOP, STOP.

- SOMETIMES WHEN SHE
DOESN'T TELL THE TRUTH,

YOU HAVE TO SIT BACK
AND LET PEOPLE APPROACH HER.

- WHAT DIDN'T I TELL
THE TRUTH ABOUT?

- LIKE WHEN YOU WERE
IN WISCONSIN

AND DIDN'T COME
TO KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION.

- MISSOURI, ACTUALLY.
- WHATEVER!

- WHY WEREN'T YOU
AT MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING

WHEN YOU WERE INVITED?
- I WAS MOVING!

- OH, YOU WERE MOVING?
- I WAS MOVING.

[all shouting]

- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?

- IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU DON'T CARE.

- SERIOUSLY, WITH WHAT WE'VE
BEEN THROUGH, I NEEDED TO KNOW.

I CAN'T HEAR
TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

- ALL RIGHT, WE'VE BEEN SET UP.
WELL DONE.

- NOBODY'S BEEN SET UP,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- WELL, THERE'S NOBODY
THAT'S BEEN SET UP.

- YOU KNOW
I WASN'T EVEN INTERESTED

IN THAT STUPID TABLOID.

YOU KNOW THAT.
I WASN'T INTERESTED.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

- I ASKED BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, BUDDY.
- I DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH.

- WELL, I'M TELLING YOU
THE TRUTH.

- I DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH.
- I'M DONE. I'M DONE.

I'M DONE WITH IT...
THIS CONSTANT ATTACK.

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.
- WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.
- BUT DON'T GO. JUST DON'T...

- WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- [sighs]

- COMING UP...

- [voice breaking] JESUS.

EVEN BRANDI?

- I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THEM
TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT.

- JUST DON'T LOSE IT
WITH THEM. WHY?

IT'S CONSTANT ATTACK, ATTACK,
ATTACK, ATTACK.

- KIM IS LIKE A MANIAC.
- BUT IT'S CONSTANT ATTACK.

- WHAT,
HAS SHE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN?

- NO, SHE HASN'T.
DON'T SAY THAT.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, STOP IT. DON'T SAY THAT.

- WHAT'S SHE ON?
- NO, DON'T SAY THAT.

- LISTEN, YOU HAVE
A LEGITIMATE QUESTION,

BUT THEY FELT AMBUSHED RIGHT NOW

WITH TOO MANY PEOPLE, SEE?
- YEAH.

- I THINK YOUR QUESTION
IS RIGHT.

YOU WANT TO HAVE
THE HONEST ANSWER.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

- IT ALWAYS COMES AROUND,
ALWAYS SHOWS UP.

IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

- I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM TALK
TO YOU LIKE THAT.

IT'S SILLY. - IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I'M USED TO IT.
I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.

ALL THE ACCUSATIONS
THAT HAVE GONE ON BETWEEN THEM,

I'VE CERTAINLY NEVER CALLED
ANYBODY, YOU KNOW,

A DRUG ADDICT OR A SLUT PIG
OR A [bleep] LIAR

OR A [bleep] ALCOHOLIC,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE SAID,
"TAKE THE TABLOID WITH YOU."

OH, WHOOP-DE-DOO.

IS THAT MY BIGGEST CRIME,
WHICH I DIDN'T DO ANYWAY?

- I WAS ASKING AN HONEST
QUESTION FOR HER HUSBAND

TO CLEAR THINGS UP
BETWEEN EACH OTHER.

- AND SHE SHOULD ASK
THAT QUESTION.

- PERIOD!

- WELL, I WANT TO KNOW
WHO MY FRIENDS ARE, FOR SURE.

- NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S YOUR RIGHT.

IF THAT'S THE TRUTH, IT IS THE
MOST HORRIBLE THING YOU CAN DO,

BECAUSE YOU'RE PLAYING
WITH SOMEBODY'S MARRIAGE...

- YES! YES.
- AND SOMEBODY'S LIFE.

- DON'T DEFEND ANYBODY
IN THE FUTURE,

ESPECIALLY NOT BRANDI,
WHO'S CREATING THAT [bleep].

- I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND

THAT'S TALKING [bleep]
BEHIND MY BACK.

THAT'S NOT A FRIEND TO ME.

SO I WANT TO KNOW
IF I HAVE A FRIEND OR NOT.

- HERE'S TO US.

WE'RE ALWAYS TOGETHER.

- [voice breaking]
I JUST FEEL LIKE... JESUS.

EVEN BRANDI?

IT'S LIKE, I'VE GONE ABOVE
AND BEYOND TO DEFEND HER,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

I'VE TRIED TO DEFEND HER BECAUSE
SHE'S MY FRIEND...

YOU KNOW?

I HAVE DEFENDED BRANDI
WHEN SOMETIMES HER ACTIONS

HAVE BEEN INDEFENSIBLE.

I JUST FELT, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO

WHEN YOU'VE REALLY GOT
SOMEBODY'S BACK.

YOU SUPPORT THE UNDERDOG,
AND THEN THE UNDERDOG BITES YOU.

- IT'S THE OTHER THREE.

THE FIRST MOVE, CHECKMATE,

FROM GUILE.
- IT WON'T BE CHECKMATE.

- NO, OF COURSE
IT WON'T BE CHECKMATE, EVER.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WINNER.

I MEAN, HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW

ABOUT THE WHOLE THING,
THE ATTACK?

- I FEEL UPSET, BECAUSE...

- I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THEM
TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT.

- HOW DO WE EVER MOVE FORWARD
FROM THIS?

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
A PUERTO RICAN PRISON?

- POLICE! [gibberish]

OH, NO! WE GOT TO GET OUT!

GET OUT, GET OUT!

KIMBERLY IS PACKING FOR COLLEGE.

EVERY DAY SINCE YOU'VE BEEN
IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN A JOY.

[crying]

- MINE IS GOING NEXT WEEK.

I HAVE, LIKE, A THOUSAND THINGS
IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW

THAT... OF ALL THE THINGS
I STILL WANT TO TELL YOU.

- HAS ANYBODY HEARD FROM LISA?

- UH...

- NO.
- HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY

THAT THROWS YOU
UNDER THE BUS LIKE THAT,

THAT TALKS ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND
THAT WAY?

- I NEED THERAPY.

- I FEEL THEY'RE JUST, LIKE,
ALL GANGING UP.

- IT'S LIKE SHARKS
THAT TASTE BLOOD.

- [crying] IT'S VERY HARD.