The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 4, Episode 16 - Turning Down the Crown - full transcript
Kyle & Joyce decide not to invite Carlton on their Puerto Rico trip. Brandi tries to avoid Lisa at Gigi's glamorous going-away party. Kyle mistakenly reveals to the group that Joyce's father has died and Joyce feels betrayed.
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- SO ANYWAY, I WAS WITH JOYCE.
- YEAH.
- AND SHE'S GOING
TO PUERTO RICO.
AND I WAS THINKING,
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN
IF WE WENT TOO?
- I WAS GONNA ASK YOU
IF YOU COULD HELP...
- I'D LOVE TO.
- AT GIGI'S PARTY, BECAUSE
IT'S GONNA BE HERE IN A WEEK
AND I HONESTLY...
I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED.
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
- YOU AND LISA
WERE SUPER-CLOSE BEFORE,
AND THEN YOU GUYS KINDA
WENT LIKE THIS.
HOW DO YOU MOVE FORWARD?
- I PAID A VERY BIG PRICE
FOR BEING HONEST.
- I'M SEEING HER
MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT.
- YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING,
TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING...
LISA HAD A PARTY THE SAME NIGHT.
- YEAH.
MAYBE SHE JUST FORGOT.
SHE HAS GOING ON...
SO MUCH GOING ON. WE ALL HAVE.
- AMNESIA?
LISA SEEMS TO, THESE DAYS,
BE ALL ABOUT LISA.
IT'S JUST FRUSTRATING.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- YOU'RE NOT HAPPY FOR ME,
BUT IT'S OKAY.
- I HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTLOOK
ON MARRIAGE THAN I USED TO...
- I AGREE.
- THANKS PARTLY TO YOU.
- LISA HAD HER SERVE STAFF
WAITING THERE.
AND I WASN'T TOLD THAT
THEY WERE GONNA BE AT HER HOUSE.
- THE GIRL THAT CHEATED...
- RIGHT.
- WHY WOULD SHE HAVE HER THERE,
KNOWING YOU'RE THERE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- CAN I JUST PEEK AT THAT?
- YES.
- IS THAT A JEWISH STAR?
- REALLY?
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
- YOU HAVE BEEN RUDE.
YOU HAVE BEEN RUDE.
YOU BEEN JUDGING.
- YOU ARE NASTY...
DISGUSTING...
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
AND YOU SAID TO ME,
"ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?"
ABOUT A JEWISH STAR.
OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE ANTI-SEMITIC.
[upbeat music]
I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
MY FRIEND, ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB,
THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK, IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE LEAD.
- HI. WELCOME!
- HI!
HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M DOING WELL, CARLTON.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO!
- GOOD TO SEE.
I'M EXCITED.
- DO YOU HAVE CANDLES FOR ME?
- I DO, I DO.
UM, I ACTUALLY HAVE
A GIRLFRIEND MEETING ME HERE,
BUT I WANTED TO KIND OF SEE
BEFOREHAND.
FOR ME TO BE A WICCAN,
THERE ARE DAY-TO-DAY THINGS
THAT I DO
WITH THE CANDLES,
WITH THE CRYSTALS.
I USUALLY HAVE A CRYSTAL
DOWN MY BRA,
MEANING THAT IF ANYBODY SENDING
ANYTHING NEGATIVE TOWARDS ME
IT BASICALLY BOUNCES OFF
AND HITS THEM TWICE AS HARD.
- OKAY, SO THIS IS SHAKTI,
THIS IS THE GODDESS.
THIS IS THE GODDESS
THAT, LIKE, EMPOWERS EVERYTHING.
- RIGHT.
- OKAY.
SO YOU'RE REALLY...
REALLY STANDING
IN YOUR GODDESS POWER
REALLY WELL.
SO THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
- HI. WELCOME!
- HI!
- AH, IT SMELLS SO GOOD HERE.
- THANK YOU. [laughing]
- HI, LOVE.
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- OH, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHERE I NEED TO BE TODAY.
- REALLY? YOU FEEL IT?
[laughing]
INVITING YOLANDA
TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES
THAT'S VERY PERSONAL
AND SACRED TO ME
WAS IMPORTANT
BECAUSE SHE'S PROBABLY ONE,
IF NOT THE ONLY ONE,
THAT WOULD UNDERSTAND IT
AND BE RECEPTIVE.
MAYBE YOU COULD JUST EXPLAIN
TO YOLANDA, UM,
WHY WE COME HERE,
WHY WE PURCHASE THE CANDLES.
- IT'S KINDA LIKE THE SECRET,
EXCEPT THAT WE GIVE YOU TOOLS
TO DO IT WITH.
- WITH. YEAH.
- SO WE LIGHT CANDLES,
AND THEN THEY BURN DOWN.
AND THEN WE CAN ACTUALLY,
IF YOU BRING YOUR CANDLE BACK,
WE CAN DO A CANDLE READING
AND KINDA GIVE YOU AN IDEA
OF THE SITUATION.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- HOW EXCITING?
- YEAH, IT'S KINDA LIKE
TEA LEAVES, BUT IN 3-D.
- WHAT DO THESE MEAN TO YOU?
- THESE, I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF
AND MY GIRLS.
THIS WAS FOR ME.
THIS WAS MY CLEANSING CANDLE.
BECAUSE I NEED TO JUST KIND OF
CONSISTENTLY JUST CLEANSE.
- CARLTON IS JUST
A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON.
SHE'S A WOMAN THAT FINDS
HER SPIRITUALITY
NOT ON RODEO DRIVE.
OH, MY GOD! I WANNA DO IT!
CAN I DO IT TONIGHT?
- ABSOLUTELY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- TELL ME ABOUT THE OTHER DAY.
I COULDN'T MAKE IT.
- TO MAURICIO'S BIRTHDAY
AND KEN'S BIRTHDAY.
- OH! YEAH.
IT WAS, UM...
WELL, IT'S INTERESTING.
I HAD A LITTLE SITUATION
WITH CARLTON.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- SHE HAS ALL THESE TATTOOS,
RIGHT?
AT THE RED, WHITE,
AND BLUE PARTY,
SHE HAD HER BATHING SUIT
TIED AROUND,
AND I ONLY SAW THIS. - OKAY.
- I SAW THIS AND THAT.
I COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING
BELOW THAT BECAUSE OF A BOW.
- OKAY.
- SO I SAID, "OH,
IS THAT A JEWISH STAR?"
AND SHE TURNED AROUND,
SHE'S LIKE,
"ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?"
- WHAT?
- AND I WAS LIKE...
SHE WAS LIKE OFFENDED.
I WAS A LITTLE TAKEN ABACK
THE WAY SHE SAID IT LIKE THAT.
- UH-HUH.
- THEN I MENTIONED THAT
THAT NIGHT,
AND THEN WE GOT
IN THIS WHOLE THING,
AND I SAID, "WELL,
ARE YOU ANTI-SEMETIC?"
AND SHE SAID, "THERE YOU GO
WITH THE LABELS AGAIN."
AND IT TURNED INTO A WHOLE...
THING.
- I AM JUST SO SICK OF BLOODY
LABELING AND JUDGMENTS.
- YEAH.
- I JUST... I CAN'T STAND IT.
- YEAH.
- THERE'S NO NEED FOR IT.
- YEAH.
- THAT IS WHY
I DID GET DEFENSIVE
WHEN KYLE CALLED ME
"ANTI-SEMETIC."
- YEAH.
- IT'S LIKE, [bleep] OFF.
- YEAH.
NO, AND IT'S UNNECESSARY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S IGNORANCE.
- YES, IT IS.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE
OF CARLTON'S PROBLEMS WITH KYLE,
OR KYLE'S PROBLEMS WITH CARLTON.
BUT WHAT KYLE SAID,
IT'S A SERIOUS THING.
YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S NOT EVEN A QUESTION.
IT'S A STUPID STATEMENT.
- EXACTLY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- EXACTLY.
- SO SHE'S BEEN A WICCAN ALWAYS.
- SHE SAID THAT IT'S BEEN
IN HER FAMILY FOR CENTURIES,
SHE SAID.
- I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE
IN THOSE THINGS.
I DON'T. - MM-MM.
YOU CAN'T LET IT IN.
- SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED...
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- AND IT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- MY COMPUTER IN MY KITCHEN,
FOR TWO YEARS NOW, HAS ALWAYS
BEEN OUR FAMILY PHOTO.
AND SO I'M SITTING THERE
GIVING PORTIA A SNACK,
AND I SEE SOMETHING
ON THE COMPUTER CHANGE
ON THE SCREEN.
AND I TURN TO MY LEFT, AND...
I TOOK PICTURES.
- YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
- IT WAS FREAKING ME OUT TOO.
SO I GO TO MY COMPUTER,
AND IT... HERE, FIRST.
"BIGOT."
"TRAVESTY."
"WRAITH."
"LARVA."
WHAT IS THIS ON MY COMPUTER?
- THAT'S SCARY.
- HOW IS MY COMPUTER DOING THAT?
THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD.
- YOU KNOW, BUT THE CRYSTALS
ARE LIKE GIFTS FROM THE EARTH.
- YEAH, THEY ARE.
- SO IF YOU FIND A CRYSTAL,
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING
GIVEN A GIFT.
- YEAH.
- THE SAME WAY
THAT EVEN WITH THE CANDLES,
I MEAN, THERE'S MAGIC AROUND US.
AND I THINK
IT'S JUST ACKNOWLEDGING THAT,
AND JUST EMPOWERING...
ESPECIALLY WOMEN.
- JUST BECAUSE ALL THAT TALK
AND, YOU KNOW...
YOU KNOW,
AND THINGS I'VE BEEN HEARING,
I REALLY GOT LIKE, OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT IT NOW?
I THINK YOU JUST NEED TO TALK...
- HONESTLY,
I'M JUST GONNA STAY AWAY.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE FRIENDS
TO BEGIN WITH.
I TRIED TO BE FRIENDLY WITH HER,
BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYON...
NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT
TO BE FRIENDS.
I JUST WANNA BE PEACEFUL
IN MY LIFE.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S LIKE SO HEAVY, RIGHT?
EVERYTHING IS SO HEAVY.
- I'M GONNA START BURNING TODAY.
[laughter]
YOU KNOW, AT THIS POINT,
IF YOU SAY THESE CANDLES
HAVE SPECIAL POWERS,
WELL, I'M BUYING TWO OF THEM,
AND I'M BURNING THEM,
AND I'M PRAYING TO THEM,
AND I'M DOING
WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO DO
BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.
- YOU CAN COME BACK
AND WE CAN SEE HOW THINGS
ARE WORKING FOR YOU AND...
- THAT'S SO COOL.
- MAKE A LITTLE MAGIC TOGETHER.
- YAY! WE BELIEVE IN MAGIC.
- WE DO. [laughter]
WE DO.
- WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
ABOUT PUERTO RICO?
SHOULD WE INVITE
THE OTHER GIRLS?
- YEAH!
- SURE.
- WHY NOT?
I INVITED BRANDI,
BY THE WAY, YESTERDAY.
- YEAH?
- BECAUSE WE WENT ON HIKE?
- HOW WAS THAT?
YOU HAVE A NICE HIKE?
- IT WAS GOOD, IT WAS GOOD.
- YEAH?
- AND SHE WAS SAYING
THAT HER MOM
WAS, LIKE, AN ARMY BRAT
AND GREW UP IN PUERTO RICO,
AND SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED TO GO.
- NICE!
- BUT, UM, I THINK SHE THOUGHT,
WELL, YOU'RE GOING WITH JOYCE.
I SAID, "BELIEVE ME,
JOYCE IS NOT, YOU KNOW...
"YOU GUYS HAVE MOVED ON
FROM THAT,
SHE DOES NOT HOLD A GRUDGE, SO."
- YEAH!
ON MY END WE'RE OKAY.
IS SHE OKAY WITH ME?
- YEAH, SHE IS.
SHE'S LIKE, "OH, I DON'T
EVEN CARE, I REALLY DON'T."
- YEAH, SHE SHOULDN'T.
IT'S SO SILLY.
PUERTO RICO'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO GO
TO PUERTO RICO.
SO WE'LL INVITE LISA
AND YOLANDA.
AND HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT CARLTON?
- SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE INVITED.
IT'S NOT LIKE, YOU KNOW...
I WOULDN'T INVITE HER
ON A TRIP WITH ME.
I WOULD NEVER CALL HER UP,
AND SAY, "HEY,
DO YOU WANNA COME WITH ME?" NO.
- WELL, I'M NOT THAT CLOSE
TO HER EITHER.
- YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN TO ME?
- YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN...
- WHY NOT?
EVERYBODY ELSE IS!
- "I'M GOING ON HOLIDAY.
YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN?"
- YEAH. I MEAN, NO.
FOR ME, I JUST CAN'T BE AROUND
ANY NEGATIVITY LIKE THAT.
SO I'M STAYING AWAY.
- HI.
- HI, HONEY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK CUTE.
- YOU LOOK CUTE.
- [grunts]
I WORKED OUT,
SO I'M A LITTLE GROSS.
BUT I FIGURED...
NO TIME.
- I'M GOING TO WORK OUT LATER.
SURE.
- [laughing]
IF YOU GET A SPRAY TAN,
THEN YOU WORK OUT,
YOU HAVE LIKE BROWN SWEAT.
- I'M GONNA STREAK, STREAK.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
- ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT TO GIGI'S?
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY.
BUT BROOKE AND THAYER
ARE MOVING INTO
THEIR FIRST APARTMENT TOGETHER.
SO I'M HELPING THEM MOVE IN,
AND IT'S ALL SO EXCITING.
BROOKE AND THAYER HAVE BEEN
DATING FOR A COUPLE YEARS,
AND THIS IS, LIKE,
MY FIRST DAUGHTER
TO HAVE BEEN WITH A BOY,
AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
THEY MAKE JUST
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE.
- IN SAN DIEGO, RIGHT? OR NO.
- THAT'S KIMBERLY'S COLLEGE.
- OH, RIGHT.
YOU HAVE EVERYONE LEAVING YOU.
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT
WITH THE KIDS.
LIKE, IF THEY EVER LEAVE ME,
I'M GONNA DIE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. - OH.
I'M ACTUALLY
REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
I WATCH MY CHILDREN
GOING INTO THESE NEW PHASES
AND THESE NEW CHAPTERS
IN THEIR LIVES,
AND IT'S A NEW CHAPTER FOR ME.
- WELL, I'M EXCITED
FOR PUERTO RICO!
- ME TOO. I CAN'T WAIT.
- SO I WONDER IF LISA AND KEN
ARE GOING.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY...
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYONE,
I DON'T GET INTIMIDATED
BY PEOPLE.
I'M ACTUALLY AFRAID OF HER
FOR SOME ODD REASON.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU AND KYLE
ARE BOTH INTIMIDATED.
I DON'T GET IT.
- YOU KNOW ME,
I SAY WHAT I WANNA SAY
TO WHOEVER I WANNA SAY IT.
BUT WITH HER,
I JUST FEEL THIS INTIMIDATION.
LISA WAS VERY UPSET
ABOUT THE WHOLE CEDRIC SITUATION
LAST YEAR.
- I WANT YOU TO LEAVE, OKAY?
- THERE WERE RUMORS
THAT SHE HAD HIM DEPORTED.
SERIOUSLY.
SO WHAT IF I MISSPEAK?
WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO TO ME?
- I'M TELLING YOU
LISA IS JUST SNEAKY,
AND PEOPLE DON'T... YOU DON'T
REALIZE WHEN SHE'S DOING IT.
SHE'S... SHE'S SO SWEET,
AND SHE'S SO KIND.
THE AVERAGE PERSON OUT THERE
WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT LISA'S DOING.
YOU KNOW, "[as Lisa] DARLING,
ARE YOU OKAY?"
- KIM, UM, EVERYTHING GOOD?
- ACTUALLY I AM.
- HAVE YOU ACTUALLY FELT STRONG
SINCE YOU CAME OUT?
HAVE YOU HAD DAYS
WHERE YOU THOUGHT,
"I MIGHT, LIKE, RELAPSE"?
- KNOWING I JUST CAME HOME
FROM REHAB
AND MAYBE I DON'T WANNA
DISCUSS THAT.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD FRIEND.
THAT'S JUST SNEAKY. - [grunts]
IT GIVES ME ANXIETY
EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT.
- HI, LADIES.
- HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU READY?
ARE WE? - ALL RIGHT.
- SO YOU HAVE A COUPLE OPTIONS.
YOU CAN WEAR YOUR BATHING SUIT,
I HAVE DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR,
OR YOU CAN GO NUDE.
- [laughing]
- CAN I WEAR MY BRA AND PANTIES?
- YEAH, WHATEVER
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
- YOU DON'T WANNA GET NAKED
WITH ME?
- DO YOU WANT ME
TO GET NAKED WITH YOU?
- [laughing]
- SHE WANTS TO GET NAKED
WITH ME.
- OKAY.
- COME ON BACK.
- IT'S A PARTY.
- WE'LL GET NAKED TOGETHER.
- IT'S A NAKED PARTY.
- [laughing]
IT'S A NAKED PARTY!
- THAT'S HOW I LIKE TO DO IT.
I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY
BECAUSE IT'S NOT
A BIG [bleep] DEAL.
[laughing] WHAT, ARE YOU SCARED?
- NO, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
- DO YOU NOT WANNA BE THAT DARK?
- NO, I WANNA BE DARK.
- YOU WANNA BE DARK.
- NOT DARK, BUT...
- READY? HOLD YOUR BREATH.
- WHOO!
- WHOO! WHOO!
- THE TORTURE IS ALMOST OVER.
- WHOO!
NOW THAT I'M SPRAY TANNED,
I'M READY FOR PUERTO RICO.
PUERTO "VERTA." PUERTO "VARTA."
PUERTO RICO!
- PUERTO RICO!
- HERE WE COME!
- COMING UP...
- KYLE... [laughter]
DO YOU NEED A HAIRCUT?
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY HEADS
TO CHOP OFF.
- OFF WITH HER HEAD!
- HI!
KALISH? - HI, MUM.
- WHERE'S MR. HADID?
- UH, HE'S HERE, AROUND.
- HE'S AROUND?
- YEAH, HE'S COMING UP.
- IS HE IN THE GARDEN?
- YEAH, HE WENT TO THE GARDEN
TO GET SOME FRESH VEGGIES.
- GIGI'S GRADUATING.
SHE'S MOVING TO NEW YORK.
SO WE WANNA DO A LITTLE PARTY,
YOU KNOW, ALL IN ONE,
AND THE BEST PLACE RIGHT NOW
TO DO IT
IS AT MOHAMED'S HOUSE
BECAUSE GIGI WANTS DADDY
TO COOK FOR HER.
- WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?
- OH, NICE.
- THERE'S NOTHING LEFT,
YOU KNOW?
- REALLY?
- JUST...
- CUCUMBERS?
- A FEW OF THESE, CUCUMBERS.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?
GEEZ, LOOK AT THAT.
- WHAT?
- IT'S LIKE, UH, TENNIS SHOES
OR SOMETHING?
- YEAH.
- WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
CAN YOU GET SOME OF THAT?
THAT'S... THAT'S THYME.
- OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- YOU WANNA SMELL?
- THAT MINT? WOW!
- AH, SMELL THAT.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
WHAT ELSE? - THAT'S IT.
- MOHAMED'S GONNA BE COOKING
ALL HIS FAMOUS AND FAVORITE
LITTLE ARABIC DISHES.
THAT'S HIS WAY
OF SHOWING HIS LOVE.
- SO I'M GONNA...
I STARTED COOKING THIS THING
FOR, UH, GIGI.
- THE CHICKEN?
- THE CHICKEN.
SO I'M GONNA JUST FINISH 'EM UP
RIGHT NOW
AND GET 'EM ALL READY.
SO YOU STUFF IT WITH, UH...
GOOD STUFF HERE
SO THAT EVERYBODY
CAN EAT IT LATER.
HEY, THIS IS EASY TO DO.
- OH, YOU KNOW, UH,
JOYCE JUST CANCELED.
- REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
SHE SAID, "HI, I'M SORRY,
BUT I WON'T MAKE IT TO YOUR...
TO... TONIGHT." - MM-HMM.
I HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY
WITH HER FAMILY.
- WHY? DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
- NO. NO, NO, NO.
I JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE THEY HAVE KIDS,
THEY HAVE THESE
TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
- I KNOW, SHE'S A GREAT MOM.
- THEY BOTH ARE.
VERY NICE PEOPLE.
OKAY.
- THAT'S GORGEOUS.
- GORGEOUS, RIGHT?
YEAH, EXACTLY.
- HI, MY LOVE!
- HI, BABY.
- HI!
- HEY, DAVID!
MY FAVORITE BROTHER-IN-LAW.
I THINK YOU ARE.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU ARE.
- I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
- WHAT ARE YOU?
- I AM YOUR EX-HUSBAND-IN-LAW.
- YOU ARE THE, UH, CARETAKER.
- AND YOUR WIFE'S STILL...
YOUR WI... YOUR EX-WIFE'S HUSBAND.
- I'M YOUR EX-WIFE'S...
I'M YOUR EX-WIFE'S HUSBAND.
- LISTEN TO THIS.
LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOU AND MY HUSBAND.
- YEAH.
- WHEN YOU SAW MY SHOES,
YOU WERE LIKE,
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
- NO, DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I SAID... - WELL, YOU SAID...
- 'CAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
IN, LIKE...
COMING TO A PARTY
IN SHOES LIKE THIS.
BUT I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOING HIKING.
- MY HUSBAND GOES LIKE, "CUTE!"
- I SAID, "YOU LOOK CUTE."
- SEE? THAT'S CUTE.
- THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
NOT MARRIED ANYMORE.
- THAT WAS REALLY CUTE.
- THANK GOD.
THERE'S TWO OF US.
HEY, BUDDY, HOW ARE YOU?
- HEY, BUDDY.
- DAVID LOVES ME
IN MY SNEAKERS AND A T-SHIRT
AND MY SHORTS.
MOHAMED MORE LOVES
THE BEAUTIFUL YOLANDA,
THE GOING-OUT YOLANDA.
MY HUSBAND JUST LOVES ME
THE WAY I AM,
AND HE'LL TAKE ME
ANY WAY I COME.
- [laughing] HI, MOMMY.
HI, GIRLS!
All: HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? WOW!
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL
AND TALL YOU ALL ARE.
HI, LOVEY.
- IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE WEARING?
- NO, I HAVE MY SNEAKERS ON.
- HEY, BRIT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GONNA GO
AND FIX THE CANDLES.
- MOMMY, YOU LOOK LIKE
A BASKETBALL WIFE RIGHT NOW.
- A BASKETBALL WIFE?
I'M A MUSICIAN'S WIFE.
- OOH! CAREFUL. WATCH YOUR STEP.
GO AHEAD. - OH, THANK YOU.
- HI! I'M BRANDI.
MY TONGUE AND MY THROAT
ARE STILL SWOLLEN.
- FROM... SO YOU DID...
- NO, I TOOK SOME ASPIRIN.
I THINK I HAD
AN ALLERGIC REACTION.
THE GOOD NEWS IS
I CAN'T TALK THAT WELL.
- OKAY.
- I FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE
SLIGHT DIVINE INTERVENTION...
BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH STRESS
ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW.
I, IN MY HEAD, AM TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT...
HOW TO MOVE FORWARD
IN A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE
THAT POSSIBLY IS ONLY USING ME
TO GET WHAT THEY NEED.
I FOUND OUT
A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT LISA
WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME.
BUT NOW I 100% KNOW
THAT LISA KNEW
THAT SCHEANA
WAS EDDIE'S MISTRESS BEFORE...
SHE MET ME.
YOU GUYS, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
THE WAITRESS IS THAT GIRL
SCHEANA MARIE WHATEVER
THAT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EDDIE
WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.
I CAN ALMOST SEE IT,
IN SLOW MOTION, PLAY OUT.
LISA PRETENDED TO ACT SHOCKED.
- YOU'VE WORKED FOR ME
FOR TWO YEARS, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
- WE'VE KNOWN...
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS,
BUT I THINK IT'S EASIER
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE NOW.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- IS THAT OKAY?
- NO, I TOTALLY AGREE.
- IS THAT OKAY?
- YEAH.
- IT WAS A LITTLE
SONG AND DANCE,
AND FRIENDS SAID,
"THAT WAS SET UP."
AND I 100% BELIEVE THEM.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE REMINDED
OF THE HARDEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE
EVERY TIME YOU SEE
YOUR "BEST FRIEND."
SO TONIGHT, FOR GIGI'S SAKE,
WE ARE GOING TO SMILE...
AND BE REALLY NICE.
I'LL JUST PRETEND LIKE
I'M STILL UNDER HER CONTROL.
- RAHID?
- YES.
- YOU KNOW,
LET'S PUT ALL THE COLD STUFF...
THE HUMMUS, BABA GHANOUSH,
AND PITA...
EVERYTHING THAT IS COLD,
PUT IT ON THE TABLE.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, BABY.
- I WAS IN ALL BLACK,
NOW I'M ALL WHITE.
- OH. [laughter]
- OOH! OH, LOOK-IT! SWANS!
- [gasps] OH.
ARE THEY THE MEAN ONES,
OR IS THAT THE GEESE
THAT ARE MEAN?
- ALL SWANS ARE MEAN.
I JUST MADE THAT UP.
- [laughing]
- HEY, GIRLS!
- HI, BEAUTIFUL LADY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- SO DO YOU.
- UGH. NOT HAVING A FUN DAY.
- WHY?
- MMM!
MY TONGUE IS STILL SWOLLEN.
- YOU TALK FUNNY.
- IT'S ALMOST LIKE
IF SHE HAS A MINT IN HER MOUTH.
- I THINK IT'S GOOD,
'CAUSE I WON'T SAY ANYTHING
I DON'T WANNA SAY TONIGHT.
'CAUSE IT'LL BE TOO DIFFICULT.
- BRANDI HAS TALKED TO ME
ABOUT HOW HURT SHE WAS
ALWAYS HAVING SCHEANA AROUND.
IF I WAS FRIENDS WITH BRANDI,
I WOULD KNOW THAT THIS WOMAN
WAS ONE OF BRANDI'S
EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESSES,
I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T ALLOW HER
IN MY CLOSE CIRCLE.
I WOULD FIND IT
NOT ONLY DISRESPECTFUL,
I WOULD FIND IT INCONSIDERATE.
WE HAVE A HENNA PERSON,
WE HAVE MUSIC.
- OH, FUN!
- WE HAVE FOOD.
WE HAVE EVERYTHING.
- HELLO!
HI, BEAUTIFUL. - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
YOLANDA'S WEARING ORANGE TOO.
THAT'S SO FUNNY.
- HI.
- ORANGE.
ORANGE IS THE COLOR.
- I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO TONIGHT AT ALL.
BUT OUT OF COURTESY
AND RESPECT FOR YOLANDA
AND HER BEAUTIFUL FAMILY,
I WON'T ENGAGE WITH KYLE.
GOD, I FEEL LIKE
I'M IN BLOODY HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- YES.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL COLOR
ON YOU.
- WE'RE SO BRIGHT.
- I LOVE IT.
WHAT? - I SAID BRIGHT.
- OH.
- SO I THOUGHT,
LET ME BE BRIGHT.
- I KNOW, AND I WAS LIKE,
YOU KNOW, SCRAMBLING
TRYING TO FIND A BRIGHT COLOR.
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- CARLTON, DAVID.
YOU KNOW KYLE.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HOW ARE YOU? both: HI.
- CARLTON DOESN'T WANNA
LOOK AT ME.
SHE'S ACTING LIKE I'M NOT THERE,
PRETENDING I'M INVISIBLE.
WHAT A SHOCK.
- HEY, KALISH. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HEY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
I JUST GOT A TATTOO. - GOOD.
WELL, HELLO. YOU CAN KISS ME.
CAREFUL 'CAUSE OF MY TONGUE
AND...
- WHAT?
- MY TONGUE IS...
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR TONGUE?
- MY TONGUE AND MY THROAT
ARE SWOLLEN.
- I WASN'T GONNA KISS
YOUR TONGUE.
WE DON'T DO THAT. NOT ME.
- IT'S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT
FOR ME
NOT TO SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND
WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY
THAT'S WRONGED ME.
SO MY PLAN IS TO AVOID LISA
AT ALL COSTS.
JUST AVOID!
- I THOUGHT
I HADN'T HEARD FROM YOU.
- NO, I CAN'T TALK.
- OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, COME...
- GIGI'S IN THERE.
I'M GONNA GET IT
OVER AT THE BAR.
THANK GOD I CAN'T TALK.
- COMING UP...
- I'M NOT DOING THIS IN HERE.
- YOU'VE GOTTA DO IT IN HERE.
- I DON'T WANT TO.
- NO, NO.
LISA, IT'S MY DAUGHTER'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY.
WE'RE NOT HANDLING ANYTHING
RIGHT NOW, NO.
- MOHAMED, CAN WE GET HENNA TOO?
- [laughing]
- YOU GOTTA GET YOUR HENNA
ON YOUR BUTT.
- [laughing]
- GET A BUTTERFLY.
- BUTTERFLY ON IT, YEAH.
RIGHT UP HERE.
- YEAH, A TRAMP STAMP.
- LET'S DO ONE OF THESE STAMPS.
WHAT DO THEY CALL THEM?
- TRAMP STAMPS.
- TRAMP STAMP.
- AWFUL WORD.
AWFUL WORD.
I HAPPEN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE,
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.
[laughter]
- IT'S LIKE A BULL'S-EYE.
- ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT GOING?
- I'M KIND OF NERVOUS, KIND OF.
- YOU ARE?
BIG STEP.
- YEAH, I'M EXCITED THOUGH.
- YEAH, I REMEMBER WHEN PANDORA
LEFT IT WAS A BIG STEP.
HAVE YOU GOT MANY FRIENDS THERE?
- UM, I HAVE A COUPLE FRIENDS
GOING TO SCHOOL THERE,
AND THEN I HAVE WORK FRIENDS,
SO.
- MY LOVE, ARE YOU...
SHOULD WE OPEN THE BUFFET
SO WE CAN EAT?
DO YOUR FRIENDS WANNA EAT?
- YEAH, I THINK SO.
- HELLO!
- WOW!
- THIS IS GREAT!
- THIS LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
OH, MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
[indistinct chatter]
- YOU SIT... I'M GONNA SIT
ON DAVID'S LAP.
HERE. YOU SIT DOWN.
I'LL SIT ON YOUR LAP.
- YEAH, SIT DOWN. YEAH.
- THAT WAS AWKWARD THAT...
YOU WANNA SWITCH PLACES WITH ME?
- OH.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.
- NO. I'M A BIG GIRL.
- CARLTON, LET'S JUST GET...
- RIGHT?
- HERE. GUY... UH...
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- WHY DON'T YOU MOVE OVER HERE?
- OH, OKAY.
- KYLE, MOVE OVER ONE.
AND THEN CARLTON
CAN SIT NEXT TO YOUR MOTHER.
THERE YOU GO.
[laughing] - SIT THERE.
WE'RE GOOD. FOUND A SEAT.
- WHATEVER. [laughing]
I'M PLI... I'M PLIABLE.
- CARLTON DIDN'T WANT TO SIT
NEXT TO ME.
SO I MEAN, MY GOD. JUST...
MAYBE CARLTON COULD WHIP UP
SOME FLOATING CHAIRS FOR US
AND WE COULD ALL
FLOAT AROUND THE ROOM.
ARE YOU LEAVING TOWN, DAVID?
- UM, I AM LEAVING TOWN
TOMORROW.
- TOMORROW MORNING?
- YES, I AM.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- I'M GOING TO SALT LAKE CITY.
I AM RECORDING A SONG
WITH STEVIE WONDER
AND THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR.
THERE'S LIKE 420 SINGERS,
THE PIPE ORGAN,
THE FULL ORCHESTRA, AND STEVIE.
THE CHURCH IS MAG...
- OH, REALLY?
- IT'S SO MAGNIFICENT.
- REALLY?
[banging glasses] - OH.
- AWW.
- AWW!
- SHH.
- I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THANK YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE,
AND FOR ALL OF YOUR...
EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM...
FOR YOUR SUPPORT...
AS I'VE GROWN UP
AND SO NOW I'M GOING TO COLLEGE.
IT'S SO WEIRD, BUT, UM...
TO MY PARENTS...
DADDY, DON'T CRY.
DADDY, I'M GONNA CRY. STOP.
- AWW.
- SO TO MY PARENTS,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU,
GUYS, SO MUCH, UM,
FOR EVERYTHING.
ONE THING I'VE ALWAYS SAID
ABOUT MY PARENTS
IS THAT THEY BOTH CAME
FROM AMAZING FAMILIES,
BUT THEY BOTH DEFINITELY
HAD TO WORK THEIR WAY UP,
UM, TO... FOR THE LIFE
THAT THEY'VE GIVEN ME.
AND, UM, YOU KNOW,
OBVIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL HOMES
AND GREAT OPPORTUNITIES
HAVE COME
WITH HAVING THEM AS PARENTS,
BUT I THINK THE BEST THING
THAT THEY'VE GIVEN ME
IS JUST, UM, THEIR WORK ETHIC.
- AS MUCH AS I FEEL CONFIDENT
THAT I'VE RAISED HER
IN THE RIGHT WAY
WHERE SHE CAN HANDLE NEW YORK,
AND, YOU KNOW,
HER FOUNDATION IS RIGHT,
I'M ALSO MOMMY,
AND I'M GONNA MISS HER
DESPERATELY.
- AND TO DAVID...
DON'T LOOK AT ME,
'CAUSE YOU'RE CRYING NOW.
AND IT'S, LIKE, REALLY BAD.
UM, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE
WITHOUT YOU.
YOU'RE SUCH A BIG ROLE MODEL
FOR ME.
AND, UM, YOU'VE TAUGHT ME
SO MUCH.
UM, AND WHY... - THANK YOU, BABY.
- YOU KNOW, HAVING
ONE AMAZING FATHER IS GREAT,
BUT THE FACT
THAT I COULD HAVE A STEPDAD
THAT IS AMAZING AS WELL,
JUST MAKES ME EVEN MORE LUCKY.
I LOVE YOU GUYS. - AWW.
- WOW, WHAT A SPEECH!
WOW.
- OH, MY GOSH. WE'RE NEXT.
KIMBERLY'S GOING TO COLLEGE,
AND NOW ALEXIA IS GOING
TO COLLEGE NEXT YEAR.
I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN
TO THINK OF THAT RIGHT NOW.
- YOU KNOW...
I GUESS I'LL GIVE A TOAST
TO YOU, MY LOVE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO BEGIN, OBVIOUSLY.
I MEAN,
I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE LIFE,
YOU KNOW, WITHOUT YOUR SMILE
IN IT EVERY DAY.
BUT I KNOW IT'S PART OF LIFE,
AND I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE ON NEW YORK,
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.
I JUST WANT YOU
TO LOOK AROUND THIS ROOM
AND KNOW THAT
WE'RE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU,
WE LOVE YOU, WE SUPPORT YOU,
BELIEVE IN YOU,
AND WE WILL MISS YOU.
BUT I LOVE YOU, AND...
- I'M NOT DYING.
I'M JUST GOING TO COLLEGE.
[laughter]
I LOVE YOU. - OH, MY GOD.
[overlapping chatter]
- GEE, WE HAVE EYE MAKEUP HERE.
- I DIDN'T EVEN BRING BACKUP.
- ME NEITHER.
AND I HAVE A DATE AFTER THIS.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
I JUST... THANK GOSH.
YOLANDA DID IT RIGHT, YOU KNOW?
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
SHE'S GANGSTER
WHEN SHE HAS TO BE,
BUT SHE KEEPS HER BABIES
IN LINE.
- YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH...
NO, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
THROUGH THIS YET.
- I DID. WHEN FARRAH LEFT...
- YEAH.
- I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE FINE,
BUT IT WAS SUCH...
SO PAINFUL FOR ME.
- AND YOU'VE BEEN
THROUGH THIS...
LISA, BOTH OF YOU. - YEAH.
PANDY CAME TO PEPPERDINE,
AND WE LEFT FRANCE
AND CAME HERE AFTER.
WHEN YOUR CHILD LEAVES,
IT'S SO DIFFICULT.
BUT I THINK THE CLOSENESS
WILL STILL STAY THERE.
I JUST THINK THE DISTANCE
IS THE ONLY THING
THAT WILL SEPARATE THEM.
[music playing]
- I THINK YOU'RE GOOD.
[laughing]
[all clapping along]
[zills chiming]
- YOU SCARED OF HER FACE?
- I KNOW. SHE'S LIKE...
- WHOO!
- WHOO!
[cheers and applause]
- CAN I JUST BORROW THAT
FOR A SECOND?
[laughing]
- SHE LOOKS A LITTLE RELIEVED.
- BE CAREFUL.
- KYLE.
- DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
- WANT A HAIRCUT? [laughter]
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY HEADS
TO CHOP OFF.
- OFF WITH HER HEAD!
- [laughing]
- YAY! [cheers and applause]
- WOW, THAT WAS AMAZING.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SO QUIET.
THIS SWOLLEN MOUTH THING
IS SLOWING YOU DOWN, BABY.
SO WHEN WE GO AWAY ON A TRIP,
I JUST NEED TO TAKE
SOME ASPIRINS WITH ME,
AND THAT'S IT.
- YES, SLIP IT INTO MY DRINK.
- HOW BAD?
- I'M SORRY?
- HOW BAD?
- TUESDAY,
I COULDN'T TALK AT ALL.
I'M IN A FUNK.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT. NOW?
YOU WERE GOOD!
- WELL, I MEAN...
YEAH, I WAS.
LISA KNOWS
SOMETHING IS GOING ON.
SHE IS SO BRIGHT IT'S SCARY.
- WHAT TIME ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
I LEAVE WHEN YOU LEAVE.
- YEAH, I MEAN, I'M... I'M...
- YOU'RE WHAT?
- NO, SHE SAID,
"WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?"
BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LEAVE.
- I CAN'T FAKE IT.
I CAN'T SPEAK,
AND THAT IS SAVING MY LIFE
IN EVERY WAY.
- LISA.
- YES?
- WE HAVE TO LEAVE
UNFORTUNATELY.
- NO, DON'T GO.
- WE HAVE TO.
- NO! [laughing]
WHY? - WE HAVE TO.
DAVID HAS BUSINESS PEOPLE IN,
SO.
I'M PRETTY MUCH
A STRAIGHT SHOOTER.
IF I DON'T LIKE YOU,
USUALLY YOU KNOW IT.
I DON'T LIKE KYLE,
AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL.
SO I'M READY TO GO HOME.
- HEY, LOVE,
YOU'RE GOING TO WORK.
- I'M GONNA GO TO WORK, YEAH.
- OH.
- IF YOU DON'T MIND.
BUT IT WAS A GREAT PARTY.
YOUR DAUGHTER DID SO GREAT,
DIDN'T SHE?
- I MEAN...
- AREN'T YOU PROUD OF HER?
- THANK YOU. YES, I AM.
- OKAY, BABY.
- OF COURSE I AM. I LOVE YOU.
HEY, BABE,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- YEAH.
- LET'S GO IN THAT ROOM.
JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
- OOH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- ISN'T IT PRETTY?
- THIS IS CRAZY.
AND YOUR CHILDREN
ARE STILL NORMAL,
WHICH IS AMAZING.
- YEAH.
SO LET'S SIT HERE ON THE SIDE.
SO...
I'M JUST A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED.
'CAUSE I KNOW WE'RE ALL INVITED
TO PUERTO RICO.
- RIGHT.
- BUT I HEARD THAT, YOU KNOW,
CARLTON WAS NOT INVITED.
WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED
THE OTHER NIGHT?
- CARLTON... WE'RE HAVING
A LOVELY DINNER.
CARLTON DECIDED
TO GO IN AFTER KYLE.
- I'VE HAD THIS FEELING
THAT YOU'VE BEEN
TALKING [bleep] ABOUT ME.
SO IT WAS CONFIRMED WHEN,
AT MY PARTY...
- I'VE BEEN TALKING [bleep]
ABOUT YOU?
- YES.
- RUINED HER [bleep]
BIRTHDAY DINNER
WHEN WE'RE ALL GETTING ALONG.
- WELL, ESPECIALLY
WHEN HER CHILDREN ARE THERE.
- YEAH!
- AND I DIDN'T WANNA GO
AFTER KYLE TONIGHT
AND START ANYTHING.
- NO, THERE'S... IT WAS LIKE...
- I JUST WANTED YOUR VIEW OF IT,
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WERE THERE.
- I THOUGHT THAT CARLTON,
IN THAT CASE, WAS OUT OF LINE.
EVEN THOUGH I LIKE HER
AND WE'RE FRIENDS,
KYLE WAS RIGHT.
WOW. [laughs]
CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THAT.
- WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
- YEAH.
- I DON'T WANNA GIVE THIS
TO CARLTON,
BUT IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
I GAVE HER.
- TO WHO?
- CARLTON.
I GAVE HER A NECKLACE,
AND THAT GOES TO IT.
KEEP IT.
- THAT'S SILLY.
- OKAY.
- GIVE THAT TO HER,
'CAUSE IT GOES WITH IT.
THAT'S THE OTHER HALF OF IT.
- WHAT?
- OH, NO, NOTHING.
- I'LL JUST KEEP IT.
- IT'S THE CROWN
TO A SKULL I GAVE HER.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
OF COURSE I'LL GIVE IT TO HER.
- BUT I DON'T...
I HAVE NO USE FOR THAT.
IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
I GAVE HER.
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- SO I'LL LET YOU DO IT.
I'LL LET YOU DO THAT.
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
- WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S A... IT'S A RING.
- FOR WHO?
- FOR CARLTON.
- HA.
- WHO'S THAT DRIVER IN THERE?
- HEY, WAIT, WAIT.
I HAVE THIS FOR YOU.
THIS IS FROM KYLE.
IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
THAT SHE GAVE YOU.
SHE ASKED... SHE JUST ASKED ME
TO GIVE IT TO YOU.
SO... MEANS YOU'RE THE QUEEN
FOR THE DAY.
- WOW! OKAY.
- I DON'T...
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
I DON'T KNOW.
- IF IT WAS A PEACE OFFERING,
THEN KYLE SHOULD HAVE THE BALLS
TO COME UP TO ME
AND GIVE ME THE RING
AS A PEACE OFFERING.
IF ANYBODY GETS ANYBODY
TO DO THEIR DIRTY WORK,
IT WOULD BE KYLE.
- THAT'S WEIRD.
- WHY?
- WELL, THAT NECKLACE WAS BLUE,
WASN'T IT?
- IT WAS A SKULL.
- BUT IT GOES WITH.
- OH, OKAY.
- YOU SURE
YOU WANNA TAKE IT, OR...
- IF YOU DON'T WANNA TAKE IT,
I'LL KEEP IT.
- YEAH, ONE OF YOU GUYS KEEP IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
I MEAN, IT'S A GIFT.
I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KEEP IT.
- I CAN'T, YOU KNOW.
I'M SORRY, I REALLY CAN'T.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- WELL, THEN GIVE IT
BACK TO HER.
- I DON'T WANNA BE
THE MIDDLE MAN IN THIS,
'CAUSE I'LL JUST KEEP IT
AND WEAR IT.
- WELL, THEN YOU GIVE IT
BACK TO HER.
- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO HER.
THIS IS [bleep] RIDICULOUS.
LISA WILL ALWAYS
JUST INSERT HERSELF
IN SOMETHING THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO [bleep] DO WITH HER.
IT'S ANNOYING.
IT'S LIKE, GUESS WHAT.
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.
LIKE, SHUT UP.
- DOES IT GO WITH THE NECKLACE?
- NO.
- KYLE!
- MAYBE I'M MISSING SOMETHING.
WHAT DOES A GOLD RING
HAVE TO DO WITH A BLUE NECKLACE?
I MEAN, IS SHE GONNA GIVE HER
HER WHOLE BLOODY JEWELRY BOX?
I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
WASN'T IT A BLUE SKULL
OR SOMETHING?
WELL, MAYBE
IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
- YOU KNOW...
- HAVE YOUR PEACE OFFERING.
IT MIGHT BE A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
MIGHT BE, CARLTON.
- IT TAKES MORE THAN A GIFT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- WELL, TRY. IT'S A START.
- I'M NOT DOING THIS IN HERE.
- THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO START IT.
YOU'VE GOTTA DO IT.
- I DON'T WANT TO. I DON'T.
- WHETHER YOU DO IT HERE,
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
- THAT'S OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT
TO DO THIS HERE.
- I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD DO THIS HERE.
- IT MIGHT BE A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
- NO, NO. LISA, IT'S
MY DAUGHTER'S GOING-AWAY PARTY.
- YEAH, WE DON'T WANNA DO THAT...
- WE'RE NOT HANDLING ANYTHING
RIGHT NOW.
- EITHER WAY,
WE DON'T WANNA DO THAT HERE.
- NO.
LISA NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.
BECAUSE UNCONSCIOUSLY
SHE'S BEEN INTIMIDATING
THE GIRLS IN THIS GROUP.
OR AT LEAST I THINK
IT'S SOMETHING
SHE DOES UNCONSCIOUSLY.
MAYBE SHE DOES IT CONSCIOUSLY.
BUT I FIND IT EXHAUSTING.
- PRETTY GIRL...
I'M GIVING THIS BACK TO YOU.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- [laughing]
SHE CAN'T ACCEPT IT.
- COMING UP...
- IT WAS SEEN
AS A PEACE OFFERING TONIGHT,
WASN'T IT?
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SAID IT'S GOLD,
IT DOESN'T MATCH WITH BLUE.
THAT'S WHAT BRANDI
SAID YOU SAID.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT?
- CARLTON SAID
SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY ACCEPT THIS.
AND I SAID,
"IT MATCHES THE NECKLACE THAT..."
- IT'S THE CROWN TO THE SKULL
I GAVE HER.
- RIGHT. UM...
- RIGHT?
- BUT LISA POINTED OUT
THAT THE NECKLACE
YOU GAVE HER WAS BLUE,
AND IT DOESN'T EVEN MATCH.
SO WHY WOULD SHE WANT IT?
- BUT WHY WOULD LISA SAY THAT?
- YOU TELL ME.
- FEELS LIKE TO ME THAT LISA'S
TRYING TO STIR UP TROUBLE
BY SAYING THAT TO CARLTON.
BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.
SHE'S SNEAKY.
- IT WAS HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
SHE DOESN'T WANT IT.
LISA SAYS IT DOESN'T MATCH.
I'LL TAKE IT. - THANKS, LISA.
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT?
- YEAH, I WOULD.
- I THINK LISA'S TRYING
TO STIR THE POT,
AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO MEDDLE
IN EVERYONE'S [bleep] BUSINESS.
I HATE IT.
- WHY'S LISA'S SAYING,
"WHY WOULD SHE WANT THIS?
IT DOESN'T GO WITH IT"?
THAT'S SO ODD.
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
IT GOES WITH IT.
- SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
YOU ASK HER.
- SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
- ASK HER TOMORROW
WHEN SHE CALLS YOU. GOOD!
HI, YO-YO! - HI, GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HEY.
- HOW WAS... HOW'S GIGI?
IS SHE HAVING FUN?
- SHE'S GOOD.
I JUST WANTED TO FIND HER.
YEAH.
I WANNA FIND HER BECAUSE
I WANNA KEEP IT ABOUT HER.
- YEAH.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- PUT AN END TO THE DRAMA.
- ABSO... NO!
- OKAY, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
- OKAY, THEN.
- WHY DID... I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU SAID TO CARLTON?
- WHAT I SAID TO CARLTON?
- SEE, SO I...
- SHE GAVE... BRANDI GAVE HER
A RING OR SOMETHING FROM YOU.
- NO, AT THE RED, WHITE,
AND BLUE PARTY,
I HAD ON... IT WAS A GOLD CHAIN.
- MM-HMM.
- AND A BLUE...
IT WAS CARVED.
- YEAH, AND YOU GAVE IT TO HER.
- YEAH. I GAVE IT TO HER.
- IT WAS BLUE,
AND YOU GAVE IT TO HER.
- SO WHEN I GOT HOME...
- MM-HMM.
- LATER, I REALIZE THAT
THAT GOLD CROWN,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SLIDE IT
ON THE CHAIN
AND IT LIKE SITS
ON TOP OF THE SKULL.
- I KNOW, BUT IT WAS SEEN
AS A PEACE OFFERING TONIGHT,
WASN'T IT?
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SAID, "IT'S GOLD,
IT DOESN'T MATCH WITH BLUE."
THAT'S WHAT BRANDI
SAID YOU SAID.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT?
- BRANDI SAID THAT YOU SAID...
- NO, I... NO, NO.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- IT DOESN'T EVEN MATCH.
IT'S BLUE, IT'S GOLD.
WHY WOULD SHE WANT THAT?
- I SAID,
"DOES THIS GO WITH IT?"
AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."
THAT'S WEIRD. - WHY?
- WELL, THAT NECKLACE
WAS BLUE, WASN'T IT?
WASN'T IT A BLUE SKULL
OR SOMETHING?
WHY WOULD BRANDI EVEN BOTHER
TO REPEAT THAT?
THAT WAS AN INNOCUOUS,
INANE REMARK.
JUST STATING THE FACTS...
WHAT DOES A RING HAVE TO DO
WITH A NECKLACE?
WHY ARE WE TRYING
TO CREATE A PROBLEM HERE?
I SAID, "IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION."
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT WASN'T EVEN THAT,
TO BE HONEST, LISA.
- WHAT IS IT?
- I DON'T WANT THAT EVEN THERE.
IT'S PART OF IT.
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THAT,
I'M GONNA REMEMBER
THE BLUE NECK...
I DON'T WANT ANY ASSOCIATION
WITH HER.
- COME ON, LET'S BE HONEST.
YOU COULD THROW IT IN THE BIN.
IT WAS THE POINT THAT YOU...
- I COULD, BUT I DON'T WANNA
THROW IT IN THE BIN.
IT'S NICE JEWELRY.
I COULD THROW THESE
IN THE BIN TOO.
- NO, BUT IT CAME FROM A PLACE
OF TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER.
- WELL, YEAH, I DON'T WANNA BE
IN A NEGATIVE SPACE.
- YEAH.
- DO I WANNA BE HER FRIEND?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
HERE SHE IS TELLING CARLTON,
"THAT DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE.
DON'T TAKE IT."
AND THEN SHE'S COMING OVER TO ME
AND SAYING,
"OH, BUT THAT WAS A GESTURE
ON YOUR PART, RIGHT?"
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,
PLAYING BOTH SIDES LIKE THIS?
DON'T PLAY THESE GAMES.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
- I DON'T WANNA BE...
I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THANK YOU FOR THE RING.
WE'RE GOOD. FINE.
HELLO? - IT'S NOT A RING.
IT'S THE CROWN OF THE SKULL.
- WELL, THE CROWN
OF THE SKULL, WHATEVER.
LET'S NOT DO THIS AGAIN.
COME ON.
COME ON!
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,
WHY PEOPLE MAKE THINGS
SO BLOODY COMPLICATED.
I KINDA THINK THAT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I'M A MAN
IN A WOMAN'S BODY
AND THEY FORGOT TO GIVE ME
THE DICK
WHEN THEY WERE DOLING THEM OUT,
BECAUSE I DON'T GET IT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- UM...
- AND THEN WE'LL COME BACK OUT.
- WELL, I'M JUST GONNA
HOLD ON TO THIS FOR A WHILE.
- GIVE IT TO ME.
I DIDN'T SAY
IT DOESN'T GO WITH IT.
- WHY?
YEAH, YOU DID. - NO, I DIDN'T.
SHE SAID, "DOES..."
I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT,
THE BLUE THING?"
AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID.
- YOU SAID, "IT DOESN'T EVEN GO
WITH THE NECKLACE SHE GOT HER."
- NO, I DIDN'T. NO, I DIDN'T.
I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT?"
- THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID.
- OKAY, BRANDI.
- I'M SAYING THAT YOU SAID,
"WHY IS SHE GIVING THIS TO YOU?"
- YEAH. WHY IS SHE?
- BECAUSE IT WAS PART
OF HER NECKLACE.
- THIS IS A PEACE OFFERING.
- NO, IT'S A PART
OF HER NECKLACE.
- IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW!
- WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
WHAT IT WAS?
- I'M NOT INVOLVED IN THIS!
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- WELL, LET'S GET SOME...
DESSERT.
- WE FORGOT TO GIVE GIGI
HER CAKE.
- THANK GOD. LET US EAT CAKE.
- AWW.
- GIGI, DON'T GO!
- YOU PUT ME ON IT?
- YES!
- CHANGE YOUR MIND!
- SCHEANA DID IT.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
MAKE A WISH. - MAKE A WISH?
- A WISH FOR YOUR TRIP
TO NEW YORK.
I GUESS NOT TRIP... - TRIP?
- YOUR MOVE.
- MOVE.
OKAY.
ONE MORE.
[cheers and applause]
- YAY!
- MWAH!
- I HAVE 'EM IN MY BAG.
YES? - AH.
- WHERE'S MAURICIO?
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
HE WASN'T HERE.
- OH, THAT'S NICE.
I'LL TELL HIM.
HE'S ACTUALLY IN CABO.
- WELL, I DID IN THE BEGINNING.
WHERE IS HE? - HE'S IN CABO.
- DOING WHAT?
- WE'RE OPENING AN AGENCY
IN MEXICO.
- OH, REALLY?
- YEAH.
- BACK TO HIS ROOTS.
- BACK TO HIS ROOTS. EXACTLY.
- WOW.
- SO, YEAH.
I HAVE TO GET SOME THINGS
IN PUERTO RICO.
- LIKE WHAT?
- LIKE BATHING SUITS
AND DRESSES.
- GET SOME THINGS
FOR PUERTO RICO.
- YEAH.
- OH, OKAY.
- NO. FOR PUERTO RICO.
- MAYBE I'LL COME
TO YOUR SHOP TOMORROW.
I NEED A COUPLE
OF LONG DRESSES OR SOMETHING.
- YEAH. LET'S MEET TOMORROW.
- OKAY.
WHERE'S, UH, JOYCE?
- JOYCE'S DAD DIED YESTERDAY.
- WHAT?
- HER FATHER PASSED AWAY.
- OH, NO!
- YESTERDAY, JOYCE CALLED ME
TO TELL ME THAT HER FATHER
PASSED AWAY,
AND I THOUGHT
MAYBE SOME OF THE WOMEN
WOULD WANNA REACH OUT TO HER.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
JOYCE'S DAD DIED.
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
- JOYCE'S DAD DIED?
- THAT'S WHAT THEY JUST SAID.
- OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE KIDDING.
- I JUST KNEW
SHE WAS CANCELLING ON EVENTS,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHY.
- AND IS SHE STILL GOING
TO PUERTO RICO, OR NO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED
TO ANY MEMBER OF MY FAMILY,
I WOULD BE IN A STRAITJACKET
FOR MONTHS.
I FEEL HORRIBLE.
I FEEL LIKE, IF THAT'S THE CASE,
WE SHOULD...
MAYBE NOT GO.
- ON THE TRIP?
YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD CANCEL.
- COMING UP...
- WE NEVER DID TALK
ABOUT THAT DAY,
AND THE REASON I WANNA SAY
IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE,
IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.
- OH, MY GOD, I THOUGHT WE HAD.
- THIS IS THE HARDEST,
FROM BEING ON OUR DIET.
- I HAVE TO HAVE A BIT
FOR GOOD LUCK THOUGH.
- UM...
- MOMMY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A LITTLE BITE WITH ME.
- MM-MM.
- YES, YOU ARE.
- I... OKAY.
YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE BITE.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE BITE.
BUT NOT TOO BIG.
NO, THAT'S TOO BIG.
HALF OF THAT.
GIGI'S IN CHARGE
OF HER OWN DIET.
BUT TO BE ON YOUR BEST WEIGHT,
YOU GOTTA MAKE
THE RIGHT CHOICES.
THIS IS YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT, GIGI?
I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH BREAD.
I'LL DO... I'LL DO THIS.
HOW IS IT?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU JUST DID THAT.
- IT'S SO GOOD.
- I'LL SHOW YOU SOME OF THESE,
WHICH I LIKE.
- I'M EXCITED, RIGHT?
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
THIS... THESE, UM, ARE CAMILLA.
AND THESE ARE EXCLUSIVE
TO MY STORE.
I'M OBSESSED WITH THESE.
- THIS IS CUTE TOO, ISN'T IT?
- YES.
I JUST LIKE THESE KIND FABRICS
FOR GOING, YOU KNOW,
SOMEPLACE LIKE PUERTO RICO.
- AND I QUITE LIKE
THIS SWIMMING...
SO JOYCE INFORMED US
THAT HER FATHER HAD PASSED AWAY
AND THAT SHE STILL WANTED
TO GO AHEAD WITH THE TRIP.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
SHE'S GOING TO DEAL WITH IT,
BUT EVERYBODY DEALS WITH GRIEF
DIFFERENTLY.
AND I THINK, RIGHT NOW,
IT'S NOT ABOUT US.
IT'S ABOUT HER,
AND WE HAVE TO SUPPORT HER.
END OF STORY.
- ACTUALLY I WANNA TRY THIS TOO
MYSELF.
SORRY, THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.
[laughing]
- OH, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE.
NICE, SELFLESS.
- AFTER SPEAKING WITH BRANDI,
I REALIZED THAT WITH LISA...
EVEN WHEN SHE'S BEING KIND
AND SAYING SOMETHING NICE,
YOU'RE WONDERING,
IS THIS GENUINE?
I DON'T WANNA FEEL LIKE THAT
WITH MY FRIENDS.
- I REALLY WANT TO GO
TO PUERTO RICO
AND HAVE NO BULL[bleep].
- ME TOO.
- I THINK I'M TIRED OF IT.
REALLY.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE
THERE'S SO MUCH, LIKE...
I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW...
I MEAN, YOU AND I
HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD OUR PROBLEMS.
- OH, FORGET ABOUT THAT.
- PEOPLE HAVE BEEN COMING TO ME
AND SAYING, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, "HOW CAN YOU HAVE
A PARTY WITH LISA?"
- WHO SAID THAT?
- "HOW'D YOU GUYS DO THAT?"
YOU KNOW... - WHO SAYS THAT?
- PEOPLE.
"HOW'D YOU GUYS JUST DO THAT?
DID YOU GUYS..."
- OH, YOLANDA SAYS THAT.
DID SHE SAY THAT TO...
- I'M NOT SAYING WHO,
I'M JUST SAYING THEY'RE LIKE
LOOKING AT ME LIKE,
"DID YOU GUYS EVER TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING SINCE,
YOU KNOW..." - YES!
- "THE WHOLE THING
THAT HAPPENED?"
I MEAN, I'M CERTAINLY
NOT GONNA TELL LISA.
BUT CLEARLY YOLANDA AND BRANDI
HAVE VALID POINTS.
- I SAID THAT SO LONG AGO.
AND ONE THING
THAT'S REMAINED REALLY...
- AND THEY'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT WHAT...
THEY'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT THE ARGUMENT BEFORE.
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
SINCE THEN.
LIKE, THE ACCUSATIONS
WITH MAURICIO.
- SINCE WHAT?
- LIKE, THE STUFF WITH MAURICIO,
THE ACCUSATIONS
- THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES
THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.
[laughing]
- WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I'M SERIOUS.
I DON'T WANNA KEEP DOING THAT.
THE REASON I WANNA...
- MY GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW SUPPORTIVE
KEN AND I HAVE BEEN
OVER THIS WHOLE...
- LISTEN, CAN I...
- I AM ON MAURICIO'S SIDE.
- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
- FORGET IT, IT'S DONE.
- WE NEVER DID TALK ABOUT THAT.
AND THE REASON I WANNA SAY
IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE,
IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
- BUT I HAVE MOVED FORWARD.
- BUT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TOO.
- OH, MY GOD, I THOUGHT WE HAD.
- NO, LISTEN.
MY POINT IS IT WAS HURTFUL,
IT HURT ME,
AND I JUST WANNA
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT
AND TALK ABOUT IT,
AND THEN MOVE ON.
AND I'M NOT KIDDING.
I'M NOT GONNA BRING IT UP.
I DON'T WANNA KEEP GOING ON
AND ON AND ON ABOUT IT.
- OH, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
- THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID.
- I THOUGHT WE WERE OKAY.
I CAN'T DO IT, KYLE.
- I WANT TO HEAR LISA TELL ME
SHE'S SORRY.
I DON'T WANNA HEAR,
"OH, WE'VE DONE THIS,
WE'VE DONE THIS,"
AND BRUSHING IT
UNDER THE CARPET.
NO.
THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME
SO... UPSET.
I NEED TO HEAR SHE'S SORRY.
- I DON'T NEED
TO JUSTIFY MY POSITION.
YOU WOULD NEVER FIND AGAIN
ANOTHER FRIEND
THAT WAS MORE LOYAL TO YOU
THAN I WAS,
AND DON'T FORGET THAT, MISSY.
- NEXT TIME, ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- THIS IS WHY WE CAME.
- HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS!
- LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS WATER.
OH, MY GOSH!
- AYE-YI-YI.
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU WERE MOVING AWAY FROM ME
AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M REALLY UPSET.
- LISA, WALKING AWAY
IS NOT GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.
- WELL, I DON'T WANNA STAY.
- IT'S ALL CLEAR THAT KYLE
NEEDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
- IF THAT'S THE TRUTH,
IT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING
YOU CAN DO.
- INSTEAD OF, LIKE,
HEARING TWO THINGS
FROM TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE,
I WANNA KNOW.
- THIS IS A [bleep]
SABOTAGE ATTACK.
- I'M TIRED
OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!
YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN, OLD MAN!
SHUT UP! - SERIOUSLY.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- EVEN BRANDI.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- SO ANYWAY, I WAS WITH JOYCE.
- YEAH.
- AND SHE'S GOING
TO PUERTO RICO.
AND I WAS THINKING,
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN
IF WE WENT TOO?
- I WAS GONNA ASK YOU
IF YOU COULD HELP...
- I'D LOVE TO.
- AT GIGI'S PARTY, BECAUSE
IT'S GONNA BE HERE IN A WEEK
AND I HONESTLY...
I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED.
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
- YOU AND LISA
WERE SUPER-CLOSE BEFORE,
AND THEN YOU GUYS KINDA
WENT LIKE THIS.
HOW DO YOU MOVE FORWARD?
- I PAID A VERY BIG PRICE
FOR BEING HONEST.
- I'M SEEING HER
MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT.
- YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING,
TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING...
LISA HAD A PARTY THE SAME NIGHT.
- YEAH.
MAYBE SHE JUST FORGOT.
SHE HAS GOING ON...
SO MUCH GOING ON. WE ALL HAVE.
- AMNESIA?
LISA SEEMS TO, THESE DAYS,
BE ALL ABOUT LISA.
IT'S JUST FRUSTRATING.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- YOU'RE NOT HAPPY FOR ME,
BUT IT'S OKAY.
- I HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTLOOK
ON MARRIAGE THAN I USED TO...
- I AGREE.
- THANKS PARTLY TO YOU.
- LISA HAD HER SERVE STAFF
WAITING THERE.
AND I WASN'T TOLD THAT
THEY WERE GONNA BE AT HER HOUSE.
- THE GIRL THAT CHEATED...
- RIGHT.
- WHY WOULD SHE HAVE HER THERE,
KNOWING YOU'RE THERE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- CAN I JUST PEEK AT THAT?
- YES.
- IS THAT A JEWISH STAR?
- REALLY?
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
- YOU HAVE BEEN RUDE.
YOU HAVE BEEN RUDE.
YOU BEEN JUDGING.
- YOU ARE NASTY...
DISGUSTING...
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
AND YOU SAID TO ME,
"ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?"
ABOUT A JEWISH STAR.
OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE ANTI-SEMITIC.
[upbeat music]
I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
MY FRIEND, ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB,
THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK, IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE LEAD.
- HI. WELCOME!
- HI!
HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M DOING WELL, CARLTON.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO!
- GOOD TO SEE.
I'M EXCITED.
- DO YOU HAVE CANDLES FOR ME?
- I DO, I DO.
UM, I ACTUALLY HAVE
A GIRLFRIEND MEETING ME HERE,
BUT I WANTED TO KIND OF SEE
BEFOREHAND.
FOR ME TO BE A WICCAN,
THERE ARE DAY-TO-DAY THINGS
THAT I DO
WITH THE CANDLES,
WITH THE CRYSTALS.
I USUALLY HAVE A CRYSTAL
DOWN MY BRA,
MEANING THAT IF ANYBODY SENDING
ANYTHING NEGATIVE TOWARDS ME
IT BASICALLY BOUNCES OFF
AND HITS THEM TWICE AS HARD.
- OKAY, SO THIS IS SHAKTI,
THIS IS THE GODDESS.
THIS IS THE GODDESS
THAT, LIKE, EMPOWERS EVERYTHING.
- RIGHT.
- OKAY.
SO YOU'RE REALLY...
REALLY STANDING
IN YOUR GODDESS POWER
REALLY WELL.
SO THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
- HI. WELCOME!
- HI!
- AH, IT SMELLS SO GOOD HERE.
- THANK YOU. [laughing]
- HI, LOVE.
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- OH, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHERE I NEED TO BE TODAY.
- REALLY? YOU FEEL IT?
[laughing]
INVITING YOLANDA
TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES
THAT'S VERY PERSONAL
AND SACRED TO ME
WAS IMPORTANT
BECAUSE SHE'S PROBABLY ONE,
IF NOT THE ONLY ONE,
THAT WOULD UNDERSTAND IT
AND BE RECEPTIVE.
MAYBE YOU COULD JUST EXPLAIN
TO YOLANDA, UM,
WHY WE COME HERE,
WHY WE PURCHASE THE CANDLES.
- IT'S KINDA LIKE THE SECRET,
EXCEPT THAT WE GIVE YOU TOOLS
TO DO IT WITH.
- WITH. YEAH.
- SO WE LIGHT CANDLES,
AND THEN THEY BURN DOWN.
AND THEN WE CAN ACTUALLY,
IF YOU BRING YOUR CANDLE BACK,
WE CAN DO A CANDLE READING
AND KINDA GIVE YOU AN IDEA
OF THE SITUATION.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- HOW EXCITING?
- YEAH, IT'S KINDA LIKE
TEA LEAVES, BUT IN 3-D.
- WHAT DO THESE MEAN TO YOU?
- THESE, I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF
AND MY GIRLS.
THIS WAS FOR ME.
THIS WAS MY CLEANSING CANDLE.
BECAUSE I NEED TO JUST KIND OF
CONSISTENTLY JUST CLEANSE.
- CARLTON IS JUST
A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON.
SHE'S A WOMAN THAT FINDS
HER SPIRITUALITY
NOT ON RODEO DRIVE.
OH, MY GOD! I WANNA DO IT!
CAN I DO IT TONIGHT?
- ABSOLUTELY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- TELL ME ABOUT THE OTHER DAY.
I COULDN'T MAKE IT.
- TO MAURICIO'S BIRTHDAY
AND KEN'S BIRTHDAY.
- OH! YEAH.
IT WAS, UM...
WELL, IT'S INTERESTING.
I HAD A LITTLE SITUATION
WITH CARLTON.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- SHE HAS ALL THESE TATTOOS,
RIGHT?
AT THE RED, WHITE,
AND BLUE PARTY,
SHE HAD HER BATHING SUIT
TIED AROUND,
AND I ONLY SAW THIS. - OKAY.
- I SAW THIS AND THAT.
I COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING
BELOW THAT BECAUSE OF A BOW.
- OKAY.
- SO I SAID, "OH,
IS THAT A JEWISH STAR?"
AND SHE TURNED AROUND,
SHE'S LIKE,
"ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?"
- WHAT?
- AND I WAS LIKE...
SHE WAS LIKE OFFENDED.
I WAS A LITTLE TAKEN ABACK
THE WAY SHE SAID IT LIKE THAT.
- UH-HUH.
- THEN I MENTIONED THAT
THAT NIGHT,
AND THEN WE GOT
IN THIS WHOLE THING,
AND I SAID, "WELL,
ARE YOU ANTI-SEMETIC?"
AND SHE SAID, "THERE YOU GO
WITH THE LABELS AGAIN."
AND IT TURNED INTO A WHOLE...
THING.
- I AM JUST SO SICK OF BLOODY
LABELING AND JUDGMENTS.
- YEAH.
- I JUST... I CAN'T STAND IT.
- YEAH.
- THERE'S NO NEED FOR IT.
- YEAH.
- THAT IS WHY
I DID GET DEFENSIVE
WHEN KYLE CALLED ME
"ANTI-SEMETIC."
- YEAH.
- IT'S LIKE, [bleep] OFF.
- YEAH.
NO, AND IT'S UNNECESSARY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S IGNORANCE.
- YES, IT IS.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE
OF CARLTON'S PROBLEMS WITH KYLE,
OR KYLE'S PROBLEMS WITH CARLTON.
BUT WHAT KYLE SAID,
IT'S A SERIOUS THING.
YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S NOT EVEN A QUESTION.
IT'S A STUPID STATEMENT.
- EXACTLY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- EXACTLY.
- SO SHE'S BEEN A WICCAN ALWAYS.
- SHE SAID THAT IT'S BEEN
IN HER FAMILY FOR CENTURIES,
SHE SAID.
- I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE
IN THOSE THINGS.
I DON'T. - MM-MM.
YOU CAN'T LET IT IN.
- SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED...
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- AND IT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- MY COMPUTER IN MY KITCHEN,
FOR TWO YEARS NOW, HAS ALWAYS
BEEN OUR FAMILY PHOTO.
AND SO I'M SITTING THERE
GIVING PORTIA A SNACK,
AND I SEE SOMETHING
ON THE COMPUTER CHANGE
ON THE SCREEN.
AND I TURN TO MY LEFT, AND...
I TOOK PICTURES.
- YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
- IT WAS FREAKING ME OUT TOO.
SO I GO TO MY COMPUTER,
AND IT... HERE, FIRST.
"BIGOT."
"TRAVESTY."
"WRAITH."
"LARVA."
WHAT IS THIS ON MY COMPUTER?
- THAT'S SCARY.
- HOW IS MY COMPUTER DOING THAT?
THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD.
- YOU KNOW, BUT THE CRYSTALS
ARE LIKE GIFTS FROM THE EARTH.
- YEAH, THEY ARE.
- SO IF YOU FIND A CRYSTAL,
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING
GIVEN A GIFT.
- YEAH.
- THE SAME WAY
THAT EVEN WITH THE CANDLES,
I MEAN, THERE'S MAGIC AROUND US.
AND I THINK
IT'S JUST ACKNOWLEDGING THAT,
AND JUST EMPOWERING...
ESPECIALLY WOMEN.
- JUST BECAUSE ALL THAT TALK
AND, YOU KNOW...
YOU KNOW,
AND THINGS I'VE BEEN HEARING,
I REALLY GOT LIKE, OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT IT NOW?
I THINK YOU JUST NEED TO TALK...
- HONESTLY,
I'M JUST GONNA STAY AWAY.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE FRIENDS
TO BEGIN WITH.
I TRIED TO BE FRIENDLY WITH HER,
BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYON...
NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT
TO BE FRIENDS.
I JUST WANNA BE PEACEFUL
IN MY LIFE.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S LIKE SO HEAVY, RIGHT?
EVERYTHING IS SO HEAVY.
- I'M GONNA START BURNING TODAY.
[laughter]
YOU KNOW, AT THIS POINT,
IF YOU SAY THESE CANDLES
HAVE SPECIAL POWERS,
WELL, I'M BUYING TWO OF THEM,
AND I'M BURNING THEM,
AND I'M PRAYING TO THEM,
AND I'M DOING
WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO DO
BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.
- YOU CAN COME BACK
AND WE CAN SEE HOW THINGS
ARE WORKING FOR YOU AND...
- THAT'S SO COOL.
- MAKE A LITTLE MAGIC TOGETHER.
- YAY! WE BELIEVE IN MAGIC.
- WE DO. [laughter]
WE DO.
- WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
ABOUT PUERTO RICO?
SHOULD WE INVITE
THE OTHER GIRLS?
- YEAH!
- SURE.
- WHY NOT?
I INVITED BRANDI,
BY THE WAY, YESTERDAY.
- YEAH?
- BECAUSE WE WENT ON HIKE?
- HOW WAS THAT?
YOU HAVE A NICE HIKE?
- IT WAS GOOD, IT WAS GOOD.
- YEAH?
- AND SHE WAS SAYING
THAT HER MOM
WAS, LIKE, AN ARMY BRAT
AND GREW UP IN PUERTO RICO,
AND SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED TO GO.
- NICE!
- BUT, UM, I THINK SHE THOUGHT,
WELL, YOU'RE GOING WITH JOYCE.
I SAID, "BELIEVE ME,
JOYCE IS NOT, YOU KNOW...
"YOU GUYS HAVE MOVED ON
FROM THAT,
SHE DOES NOT HOLD A GRUDGE, SO."
- YEAH!
ON MY END WE'RE OKAY.
IS SHE OKAY WITH ME?
- YEAH, SHE IS.
SHE'S LIKE, "OH, I DON'T
EVEN CARE, I REALLY DON'T."
- YEAH, SHE SHOULDN'T.
IT'S SO SILLY.
PUERTO RICO'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO GO
TO PUERTO RICO.
SO WE'LL INVITE LISA
AND YOLANDA.
AND HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT CARLTON?
- SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE INVITED.
IT'S NOT LIKE, YOU KNOW...
I WOULDN'T INVITE HER
ON A TRIP WITH ME.
I WOULD NEVER CALL HER UP,
AND SAY, "HEY,
DO YOU WANNA COME WITH ME?" NO.
- WELL, I'M NOT THAT CLOSE
TO HER EITHER.
- YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN TO ME?
- YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN...
- WHY NOT?
EVERYBODY ELSE IS!
- "I'M GOING ON HOLIDAY.
YOU WANNA COME BE MEAN?"
- YEAH. I MEAN, NO.
FOR ME, I JUST CAN'T BE AROUND
ANY NEGATIVITY LIKE THAT.
SO I'M STAYING AWAY.
- HI.
- HI, HONEY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK CUTE.
- YOU LOOK CUTE.
- [grunts]
I WORKED OUT,
SO I'M A LITTLE GROSS.
BUT I FIGURED...
NO TIME.
- I'M GOING TO WORK OUT LATER.
SURE.
- [laughing]
IF YOU GET A SPRAY TAN,
THEN YOU WORK OUT,
YOU HAVE LIKE BROWN SWEAT.
- I'M GONNA STREAK, STREAK.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
- ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT TO GIGI'S?
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY.
BUT BROOKE AND THAYER
ARE MOVING INTO
THEIR FIRST APARTMENT TOGETHER.
SO I'M HELPING THEM MOVE IN,
AND IT'S ALL SO EXCITING.
BROOKE AND THAYER HAVE BEEN
DATING FOR A COUPLE YEARS,
AND THIS IS, LIKE,
MY FIRST DAUGHTER
TO HAVE BEEN WITH A BOY,
AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
THEY MAKE JUST
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE.
- IN SAN DIEGO, RIGHT? OR NO.
- THAT'S KIMBERLY'S COLLEGE.
- OH, RIGHT.
YOU HAVE EVERYONE LEAVING YOU.
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT
WITH THE KIDS.
LIKE, IF THEY EVER LEAVE ME,
I'M GONNA DIE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. - OH.
I'M ACTUALLY
REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
I WATCH MY CHILDREN
GOING INTO THESE NEW PHASES
AND THESE NEW CHAPTERS
IN THEIR LIVES,
AND IT'S A NEW CHAPTER FOR ME.
- WELL, I'M EXCITED
FOR PUERTO RICO!
- ME TOO. I CAN'T WAIT.
- SO I WONDER IF LISA AND KEN
ARE GOING.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY...
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYONE,
I DON'T GET INTIMIDATED
BY PEOPLE.
I'M ACTUALLY AFRAID OF HER
FOR SOME ODD REASON.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU AND KYLE
ARE BOTH INTIMIDATED.
I DON'T GET IT.
- YOU KNOW ME,
I SAY WHAT I WANNA SAY
TO WHOEVER I WANNA SAY IT.
BUT WITH HER,
I JUST FEEL THIS INTIMIDATION.
LISA WAS VERY UPSET
ABOUT THE WHOLE CEDRIC SITUATION
LAST YEAR.
- I WANT YOU TO LEAVE, OKAY?
- THERE WERE RUMORS
THAT SHE HAD HIM DEPORTED.
SERIOUSLY.
SO WHAT IF I MISSPEAK?
WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO TO ME?
- I'M TELLING YOU
LISA IS JUST SNEAKY,
AND PEOPLE DON'T... YOU DON'T
REALIZE WHEN SHE'S DOING IT.
SHE'S... SHE'S SO SWEET,
AND SHE'S SO KIND.
THE AVERAGE PERSON OUT THERE
WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT LISA'S DOING.
YOU KNOW, "[as Lisa] DARLING,
ARE YOU OKAY?"
- KIM, UM, EVERYTHING GOOD?
- ACTUALLY I AM.
- HAVE YOU ACTUALLY FELT STRONG
SINCE YOU CAME OUT?
HAVE YOU HAD DAYS
WHERE YOU THOUGHT,
"I MIGHT, LIKE, RELAPSE"?
- KNOWING I JUST CAME HOME
FROM REHAB
AND MAYBE I DON'T WANNA
DISCUSS THAT.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD FRIEND.
THAT'S JUST SNEAKY. - [grunts]
IT GIVES ME ANXIETY
EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT.
- HI, LADIES.
- HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU READY?
ARE WE? - ALL RIGHT.
- SO YOU HAVE A COUPLE OPTIONS.
YOU CAN WEAR YOUR BATHING SUIT,
I HAVE DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR,
OR YOU CAN GO NUDE.
- [laughing]
- CAN I WEAR MY BRA AND PANTIES?
- YEAH, WHATEVER
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
- YOU DON'T WANNA GET NAKED
WITH ME?
- DO YOU WANT ME
TO GET NAKED WITH YOU?
- [laughing]
- SHE WANTS TO GET NAKED
WITH ME.
- OKAY.
- COME ON BACK.
- IT'S A PARTY.
- WE'LL GET NAKED TOGETHER.
- IT'S A NAKED PARTY.
- [laughing]
IT'S A NAKED PARTY!
- THAT'S HOW I LIKE TO DO IT.
I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH NUDITY
BECAUSE IT'S NOT
A BIG [bleep] DEAL.
[laughing] WHAT, ARE YOU SCARED?
- NO, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
- DO YOU NOT WANNA BE THAT DARK?
- NO, I WANNA BE DARK.
- YOU WANNA BE DARK.
- NOT DARK, BUT...
- READY? HOLD YOUR BREATH.
- WHOO!
- WHOO! WHOO!
- THE TORTURE IS ALMOST OVER.
- WHOO!
NOW THAT I'M SPRAY TANNED,
I'M READY FOR PUERTO RICO.
PUERTO "VERTA." PUERTO "VARTA."
PUERTO RICO!
- PUERTO RICO!
- HERE WE COME!
- COMING UP...
- KYLE... [laughter]
DO YOU NEED A HAIRCUT?
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY HEADS
TO CHOP OFF.
- OFF WITH HER HEAD!
- HI!
KALISH? - HI, MUM.
- WHERE'S MR. HADID?
- UH, HE'S HERE, AROUND.
- HE'S AROUND?
- YEAH, HE'S COMING UP.
- IS HE IN THE GARDEN?
- YEAH, HE WENT TO THE GARDEN
TO GET SOME FRESH VEGGIES.
- GIGI'S GRADUATING.
SHE'S MOVING TO NEW YORK.
SO WE WANNA DO A LITTLE PARTY,
YOU KNOW, ALL IN ONE,
AND THE BEST PLACE RIGHT NOW
TO DO IT
IS AT MOHAMED'S HOUSE
BECAUSE GIGI WANTS DADDY
TO COOK FOR HER.
- WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?
- OH, NICE.
- THERE'S NOTHING LEFT,
YOU KNOW?
- REALLY?
- JUST...
- CUCUMBERS?
- A FEW OF THESE, CUCUMBERS.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?
GEEZ, LOOK AT THAT.
- WHAT?
- IT'S LIKE, UH, TENNIS SHOES
OR SOMETHING?
- YEAH.
- WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
CAN YOU GET SOME OF THAT?
THAT'S... THAT'S THYME.
- OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- YOU WANNA SMELL?
- THAT MINT? WOW!
- AH, SMELL THAT.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
WHAT ELSE? - THAT'S IT.
- MOHAMED'S GONNA BE COOKING
ALL HIS FAMOUS AND FAVORITE
LITTLE ARABIC DISHES.
THAT'S HIS WAY
OF SHOWING HIS LOVE.
- SO I'M GONNA...
I STARTED COOKING THIS THING
FOR, UH, GIGI.
- THE CHICKEN?
- THE CHICKEN.
SO I'M GONNA JUST FINISH 'EM UP
RIGHT NOW
AND GET 'EM ALL READY.
SO YOU STUFF IT WITH, UH...
GOOD STUFF HERE
SO THAT EVERYBODY
CAN EAT IT LATER.
HEY, THIS IS EASY TO DO.
- OH, YOU KNOW, UH,
JOYCE JUST CANCELED.
- REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
SHE SAID, "HI, I'M SORRY,
BUT I WON'T MAKE IT TO YOUR...
TO... TONIGHT." - MM-HMM.
I HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY
WITH HER FAMILY.
- WHY? DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
- NO. NO, NO, NO.
I JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE THEY HAVE KIDS,
THEY HAVE THESE
TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
- I KNOW, SHE'S A GREAT MOM.
- THEY BOTH ARE.
VERY NICE PEOPLE.
OKAY.
- THAT'S GORGEOUS.
- GORGEOUS, RIGHT?
YEAH, EXACTLY.
- HI, MY LOVE!
- HI, BABY.
- HI!
- HEY, DAVID!
MY FAVORITE BROTHER-IN-LAW.
I THINK YOU ARE.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU ARE.
- I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
- WHAT ARE YOU?
- I AM YOUR EX-HUSBAND-IN-LAW.
- YOU ARE THE, UH, CARETAKER.
- AND YOUR WIFE'S STILL...
YOUR WI... YOUR EX-WIFE'S HUSBAND.
- I'M YOUR EX-WIFE'S...
I'M YOUR EX-WIFE'S HUSBAND.
- LISTEN TO THIS.
LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOU AND MY HUSBAND.
- YEAH.
- WHEN YOU SAW MY SHOES,
YOU WERE LIKE,
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
- NO, DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I SAID... - WELL, YOU SAID...
- 'CAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
IN, LIKE...
COMING TO A PARTY
IN SHOES LIKE THIS.
BUT I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOING HIKING.
- MY HUSBAND GOES LIKE, "CUTE!"
- I SAID, "YOU LOOK CUTE."
- SEE? THAT'S CUTE.
- THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
NOT MARRIED ANYMORE.
- THAT WAS REALLY CUTE.
- THANK GOD.
THERE'S TWO OF US.
HEY, BUDDY, HOW ARE YOU?
- HEY, BUDDY.
- DAVID LOVES ME
IN MY SNEAKERS AND A T-SHIRT
AND MY SHORTS.
MOHAMED MORE LOVES
THE BEAUTIFUL YOLANDA,
THE GOING-OUT YOLANDA.
MY HUSBAND JUST LOVES ME
THE WAY I AM,
AND HE'LL TAKE ME
ANY WAY I COME.
- [laughing] HI, MOMMY.
HI, GIRLS!
All: HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? WOW!
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL
AND TALL YOU ALL ARE.
HI, LOVEY.
- IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE WEARING?
- NO, I HAVE MY SNEAKERS ON.
- HEY, BRIT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GONNA GO
AND FIX THE CANDLES.
- MOMMY, YOU LOOK LIKE
A BASKETBALL WIFE RIGHT NOW.
- A BASKETBALL WIFE?
I'M A MUSICIAN'S WIFE.
- OOH! CAREFUL. WATCH YOUR STEP.
GO AHEAD. - OH, THANK YOU.
- HI! I'M BRANDI.
MY TONGUE AND MY THROAT
ARE STILL SWOLLEN.
- FROM... SO YOU DID...
- NO, I TOOK SOME ASPIRIN.
I THINK I HAD
AN ALLERGIC REACTION.
THE GOOD NEWS IS
I CAN'T TALK THAT WELL.
- OKAY.
- I FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE
SLIGHT DIVINE INTERVENTION...
BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH STRESS
ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW.
I, IN MY HEAD, AM TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT...
HOW TO MOVE FORWARD
IN A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE
THAT POSSIBLY IS ONLY USING ME
TO GET WHAT THEY NEED.
I FOUND OUT
A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT LISA
WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME.
BUT NOW I 100% KNOW
THAT LISA KNEW
THAT SCHEANA
WAS EDDIE'S MISTRESS BEFORE...
SHE MET ME.
YOU GUYS, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
THE WAITRESS IS THAT GIRL
SCHEANA MARIE WHATEVER
THAT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EDDIE
WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.
I CAN ALMOST SEE IT,
IN SLOW MOTION, PLAY OUT.
LISA PRETENDED TO ACT SHOCKED.
- YOU'VE WORKED FOR ME
FOR TWO YEARS, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
- WE'VE KNOWN...
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS,
BUT I THINK IT'S EASIER
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE NOW.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- IS THAT OKAY?
- NO, I TOTALLY AGREE.
- IS THAT OKAY?
- YEAH.
- IT WAS A LITTLE
SONG AND DANCE,
AND FRIENDS SAID,
"THAT WAS SET UP."
AND I 100% BELIEVE THEM.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE REMINDED
OF THE HARDEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE
EVERY TIME YOU SEE
YOUR "BEST FRIEND."
SO TONIGHT, FOR GIGI'S SAKE,
WE ARE GOING TO SMILE...
AND BE REALLY NICE.
I'LL JUST PRETEND LIKE
I'M STILL UNDER HER CONTROL.
- RAHID?
- YES.
- YOU KNOW,
LET'S PUT ALL THE COLD STUFF...
THE HUMMUS, BABA GHANOUSH,
AND PITA...
EVERYTHING THAT IS COLD,
PUT IT ON THE TABLE.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, BABY.
- I WAS IN ALL BLACK,
NOW I'M ALL WHITE.
- OH. [laughter]
- OOH! OH, LOOK-IT! SWANS!
- [gasps] OH.
ARE THEY THE MEAN ONES,
OR IS THAT THE GEESE
THAT ARE MEAN?
- ALL SWANS ARE MEAN.
I JUST MADE THAT UP.
- [laughing]
- HEY, GIRLS!
- HI, BEAUTIFUL LADY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- SO DO YOU.
- UGH. NOT HAVING A FUN DAY.
- WHY?
- MMM!
MY TONGUE IS STILL SWOLLEN.
- YOU TALK FUNNY.
- IT'S ALMOST LIKE
IF SHE HAS A MINT IN HER MOUTH.
- I THINK IT'S GOOD,
'CAUSE I WON'T SAY ANYTHING
I DON'T WANNA SAY TONIGHT.
'CAUSE IT'LL BE TOO DIFFICULT.
- BRANDI HAS TALKED TO ME
ABOUT HOW HURT SHE WAS
ALWAYS HAVING SCHEANA AROUND.
IF I WAS FRIENDS WITH BRANDI,
I WOULD KNOW THAT THIS WOMAN
WAS ONE OF BRANDI'S
EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESSES,
I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T ALLOW HER
IN MY CLOSE CIRCLE.
I WOULD FIND IT
NOT ONLY DISRESPECTFUL,
I WOULD FIND IT INCONSIDERATE.
WE HAVE A HENNA PERSON,
WE HAVE MUSIC.
- OH, FUN!
- WE HAVE FOOD.
WE HAVE EVERYTHING.
- HELLO!
HI, BEAUTIFUL. - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
YOLANDA'S WEARING ORANGE TOO.
THAT'S SO FUNNY.
- HI.
- ORANGE.
ORANGE IS THE COLOR.
- I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO TONIGHT AT ALL.
BUT OUT OF COURTESY
AND RESPECT FOR YOLANDA
AND HER BEAUTIFUL FAMILY,
I WON'T ENGAGE WITH KYLE.
GOD, I FEEL LIKE
I'M IN BLOODY HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- YES.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL COLOR
ON YOU.
- WE'RE SO BRIGHT.
- I LOVE IT.
WHAT? - I SAID BRIGHT.
- OH.
- SO I THOUGHT,
LET ME BE BRIGHT.
- I KNOW, AND I WAS LIKE,
YOU KNOW, SCRAMBLING
TRYING TO FIND A BRIGHT COLOR.
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- CARLTON, DAVID.
YOU KNOW KYLE.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HOW ARE YOU? both: HI.
- CARLTON DOESN'T WANNA
LOOK AT ME.
SHE'S ACTING LIKE I'M NOT THERE,
PRETENDING I'M INVISIBLE.
WHAT A SHOCK.
- HEY, KALISH. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HEY!
- HOW ARE YOU?
I JUST GOT A TATTOO. - GOOD.
WELL, HELLO. YOU CAN KISS ME.
CAREFUL 'CAUSE OF MY TONGUE
AND...
- WHAT?
- MY TONGUE IS...
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR TONGUE?
- MY TONGUE AND MY THROAT
ARE SWOLLEN.
- I WASN'T GONNA KISS
YOUR TONGUE.
WE DON'T DO THAT. NOT ME.
- IT'S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT
FOR ME
NOT TO SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND
WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY
THAT'S WRONGED ME.
SO MY PLAN IS TO AVOID LISA
AT ALL COSTS.
JUST AVOID!
- I THOUGHT
I HADN'T HEARD FROM YOU.
- NO, I CAN'T TALK.
- OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, COME...
- GIGI'S IN THERE.
I'M GONNA GET IT
OVER AT THE BAR.
THANK GOD I CAN'T TALK.
- COMING UP...
- I'M NOT DOING THIS IN HERE.
- YOU'VE GOTTA DO IT IN HERE.
- I DON'T WANT TO.
- NO, NO.
LISA, IT'S MY DAUGHTER'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY.
WE'RE NOT HANDLING ANYTHING
RIGHT NOW, NO.
- MOHAMED, CAN WE GET HENNA TOO?
- [laughing]
- YOU GOTTA GET YOUR HENNA
ON YOUR BUTT.
- [laughing]
- GET A BUTTERFLY.
- BUTTERFLY ON IT, YEAH.
RIGHT UP HERE.
- YEAH, A TRAMP STAMP.
- LET'S DO ONE OF THESE STAMPS.
WHAT DO THEY CALL THEM?
- TRAMP STAMPS.
- TRAMP STAMP.
- AWFUL WORD.
AWFUL WORD.
I HAPPEN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE,
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.
[laughter]
- IT'S LIKE A BULL'S-EYE.
- ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT GOING?
- I'M KIND OF NERVOUS, KIND OF.
- YOU ARE?
BIG STEP.
- YEAH, I'M EXCITED THOUGH.
- YEAH, I REMEMBER WHEN PANDORA
LEFT IT WAS A BIG STEP.
HAVE YOU GOT MANY FRIENDS THERE?
- UM, I HAVE A COUPLE FRIENDS
GOING TO SCHOOL THERE,
AND THEN I HAVE WORK FRIENDS,
SO.
- MY LOVE, ARE YOU...
SHOULD WE OPEN THE BUFFET
SO WE CAN EAT?
DO YOUR FRIENDS WANNA EAT?
- YEAH, I THINK SO.
- HELLO!
- WOW!
- THIS IS GREAT!
- THIS LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
OH, MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
[indistinct chatter]
- YOU SIT... I'M GONNA SIT
ON DAVID'S LAP.
HERE. YOU SIT DOWN.
I'LL SIT ON YOUR LAP.
- YEAH, SIT DOWN. YEAH.
- THAT WAS AWKWARD THAT...
YOU WANNA SWITCH PLACES WITH ME?
- OH.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.
- NO. I'M A BIG GIRL.
- CARLTON, LET'S JUST GET...
- RIGHT?
- HERE. GUY... UH...
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- WHY DON'T YOU MOVE OVER HERE?
- OH, OKAY.
- KYLE, MOVE OVER ONE.
AND THEN CARLTON
CAN SIT NEXT TO YOUR MOTHER.
THERE YOU GO.
[laughing] - SIT THERE.
WE'RE GOOD. FOUND A SEAT.
- WHATEVER. [laughing]
I'M PLI... I'M PLIABLE.
- CARLTON DIDN'T WANT TO SIT
NEXT TO ME.
SO I MEAN, MY GOD. JUST...
MAYBE CARLTON COULD WHIP UP
SOME FLOATING CHAIRS FOR US
AND WE COULD ALL
FLOAT AROUND THE ROOM.
ARE YOU LEAVING TOWN, DAVID?
- UM, I AM LEAVING TOWN
TOMORROW.
- TOMORROW MORNING?
- YES, I AM.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- I'M GOING TO SALT LAKE CITY.
I AM RECORDING A SONG
WITH STEVIE WONDER
AND THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR.
THERE'S LIKE 420 SINGERS,
THE PIPE ORGAN,
THE FULL ORCHESTRA, AND STEVIE.
THE CHURCH IS MAG...
- OH, REALLY?
- IT'S SO MAGNIFICENT.
- REALLY?
[banging glasses] - OH.
- AWW.
- AWW!
- SHH.
- I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THANK YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE,
AND FOR ALL OF YOUR...
EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM...
FOR YOUR SUPPORT...
AS I'VE GROWN UP
AND SO NOW I'M GOING TO COLLEGE.
IT'S SO WEIRD, BUT, UM...
TO MY PARENTS...
DADDY, DON'T CRY.
DADDY, I'M GONNA CRY. STOP.
- AWW.
- SO TO MY PARENTS,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU,
GUYS, SO MUCH, UM,
FOR EVERYTHING.
ONE THING I'VE ALWAYS SAID
ABOUT MY PARENTS
IS THAT THEY BOTH CAME
FROM AMAZING FAMILIES,
BUT THEY BOTH DEFINITELY
HAD TO WORK THEIR WAY UP,
UM, TO... FOR THE LIFE
THAT THEY'VE GIVEN ME.
AND, UM, YOU KNOW,
OBVIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL HOMES
AND GREAT OPPORTUNITIES
HAVE COME
WITH HAVING THEM AS PARENTS,
BUT I THINK THE BEST THING
THAT THEY'VE GIVEN ME
IS JUST, UM, THEIR WORK ETHIC.
- AS MUCH AS I FEEL CONFIDENT
THAT I'VE RAISED HER
IN THE RIGHT WAY
WHERE SHE CAN HANDLE NEW YORK,
AND, YOU KNOW,
HER FOUNDATION IS RIGHT,
I'M ALSO MOMMY,
AND I'M GONNA MISS HER
DESPERATELY.
- AND TO DAVID...
DON'T LOOK AT ME,
'CAUSE YOU'RE CRYING NOW.
AND IT'S, LIKE, REALLY BAD.
UM, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE
WITHOUT YOU.
YOU'RE SUCH A BIG ROLE MODEL
FOR ME.
AND, UM, YOU'VE TAUGHT ME
SO MUCH.
UM, AND WHY... - THANK YOU, BABY.
- YOU KNOW, HAVING
ONE AMAZING FATHER IS GREAT,
BUT THE FACT
THAT I COULD HAVE A STEPDAD
THAT IS AMAZING AS WELL,
JUST MAKES ME EVEN MORE LUCKY.
I LOVE YOU GUYS. - AWW.
- WOW, WHAT A SPEECH!
WOW.
- OH, MY GOSH. WE'RE NEXT.
KIMBERLY'S GOING TO COLLEGE,
AND NOW ALEXIA IS GOING
TO COLLEGE NEXT YEAR.
I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN
TO THINK OF THAT RIGHT NOW.
- YOU KNOW...
I GUESS I'LL GIVE A TOAST
TO YOU, MY LOVE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO BEGIN, OBVIOUSLY.
I MEAN,
I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE LIFE,
YOU KNOW, WITHOUT YOUR SMILE
IN IT EVERY DAY.
BUT I KNOW IT'S PART OF LIFE,
AND I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE ON NEW YORK,
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.
I JUST WANT YOU
TO LOOK AROUND THIS ROOM
AND KNOW THAT
WE'RE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU,
WE LOVE YOU, WE SUPPORT YOU,
BELIEVE IN YOU,
AND WE WILL MISS YOU.
BUT I LOVE YOU, AND...
- I'M NOT DYING.
I'M JUST GOING TO COLLEGE.
[laughter]
I LOVE YOU. - OH, MY GOD.
[overlapping chatter]
- GEE, WE HAVE EYE MAKEUP HERE.
- I DIDN'T EVEN BRING BACKUP.
- ME NEITHER.
AND I HAVE A DATE AFTER THIS.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
I JUST... THANK GOSH.
YOLANDA DID IT RIGHT, YOU KNOW?
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
SHE'S GANGSTER
WHEN SHE HAS TO BE,
BUT SHE KEEPS HER BABIES
IN LINE.
- YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH...
NO, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
THROUGH THIS YET.
- I DID. WHEN FARRAH LEFT...
- YEAH.
- I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE FINE,
BUT IT WAS SUCH...
SO PAINFUL FOR ME.
- AND YOU'VE BEEN
THROUGH THIS...
LISA, BOTH OF YOU. - YEAH.
PANDY CAME TO PEPPERDINE,
AND WE LEFT FRANCE
AND CAME HERE AFTER.
WHEN YOUR CHILD LEAVES,
IT'S SO DIFFICULT.
BUT I THINK THE CLOSENESS
WILL STILL STAY THERE.
I JUST THINK THE DISTANCE
IS THE ONLY THING
THAT WILL SEPARATE THEM.
[music playing]
- I THINK YOU'RE GOOD.
[laughing]
[all clapping along]
[zills chiming]
- YOU SCARED OF HER FACE?
- I KNOW. SHE'S LIKE...
- WHOO!
- WHOO!
[cheers and applause]
- CAN I JUST BORROW THAT
FOR A SECOND?
[laughing]
- SHE LOOKS A LITTLE RELIEVED.
- BE CAREFUL.
- KYLE.
- DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
- WANT A HAIRCUT? [laughter]
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY HEADS
TO CHOP OFF.
- OFF WITH HER HEAD!
- [laughing]
- YAY! [cheers and applause]
- WOW, THAT WAS AMAZING.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SO QUIET.
THIS SWOLLEN MOUTH THING
IS SLOWING YOU DOWN, BABY.
SO WHEN WE GO AWAY ON A TRIP,
I JUST NEED TO TAKE
SOME ASPIRINS WITH ME,
AND THAT'S IT.
- YES, SLIP IT INTO MY DRINK.
- HOW BAD?
- I'M SORRY?
- HOW BAD?
- TUESDAY,
I COULDN'T TALK AT ALL.
I'M IN A FUNK.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT. NOW?
YOU WERE GOOD!
- WELL, I MEAN...
YEAH, I WAS.
LISA KNOWS
SOMETHING IS GOING ON.
SHE IS SO BRIGHT IT'S SCARY.
- WHAT TIME ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
I LEAVE WHEN YOU LEAVE.
- YEAH, I MEAN, I'M... I'M...
- YOU'RE WHAT?
- NO, SHE SAID,
"WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?"
BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LEAVE.
- I CAN'T FAKE IT.
I CAN'T SPEAK,
AND THAT IS SAVING MY LIFE
IN EVERY WAY.
- LISA.
- YES?
- WE HAVE TO LEAVE
UNFORTUNATELY.
- NO, DON'T GO.
- WE HAVE TO.
- NO! [laughing]
WHY? - WE HAVE TO.
DAVID HAS BUSINESS PEOPLE IN,
SO.
I'M PRETTY MUCH
A STRAIGHT SHOOTER.
IF I DON'T LIKE YOU,
USUALLY YOU KNOW IT.
I DON'T LIKE KYLE,
AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL.
SO I'M READY TO GO HOME.
- HEY, LOVE,
YOU'RE GOING TO WORK.
- I'M GONNA GO TO WORK, YEAH.
- OH.
- IF YOU DON'T MIND.
BUT IT WAS A GREAT PARTY.
YOUR DAUGHTER DID SO GREAT,
DIDN'T SHE?
- I MEAN...
- AREN'T YOU PROUD OF HER?
- THANK YOU. YES, I AM.
- OKAY, BABY.
- OF COURSE I AM. I LOVE YOU.
HEY, BABE,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- YEAH.
- LET'S GO IN THAT ROOM.
JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
- OOH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- ISN'T IT PRETTY?
- THIS IS CRAZY.
AND YOUR CHILDREN
ARE STILL NORMAL,
WHICH IS AMAZING.
- YEAH.
SO LET'S SIT HERE ON THE SIDE.
SO...
I'M JUST A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED.
'CAUSE I KNOW WE'RE ALL INVITED
TO PUERTO RICO.
- RIGHT.
- BUT I HEARD THAT, YOU KNOW,
CARLTON WAS NOT INVITED.
WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED
THE OTHER NIGHT?
- CARLTON... WE'RE HAVING
A LOVELY DINNER.
CARLTON DECIDED
TO GO IN AFTER KYLE.
- I'VE HAD THIS FEELING
THAT YOU'VE BEEN
TALKING [bleep] ABOUT ME.
SO IT WAS CONFIRMED WHEN,
AT MY PARTY...
- I'VE BEEN TALKING [bleep]
ABOUT YOU?
- YES.
- RUINED HER [bleep]
BIRTHDAY DINNER
WHEN WE'RE ALL GETTING ALONG.
- WELL, ESPECIALLY
WHEN HER CHILDREN ARE THERE.
- YEAH!
- AND I DIDN'T WANNA GO
AFTER KYLE TONIGHT
AND START ANYTHING.
- NO, THERE'S... IT WAS LIKE...
- I JUST WANTED YOUR VIEW OF IT,
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WERE THERE.
- I THOUGHT THAT CARLTON,
IN THAT CASE, WAS OUT OF LINE.
EVEN THOUGH I LIKE HER
AND WE'RE FRIENDS,
KYLE WAS RIGHT.
WOW. [laughs]
CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THAT.
- WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
- YEAH.
- I DON'T WANNA GIVE THIS
TO CARLTON,
BUT IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
I GAVE HER.
- TO WHO?
- CARLTON.
I GAVE HER A NECKLACE,
AND THAT GOES TO IT.
KEEP IT.
- THAT'S SILLY.
- OKAY.
- GIVE THAT TO HER,
'CAUSE IT GOES WITH IT.
THAT'S THE OTHER HALF OF IT.
- WHAT?
- OH, NO, NOTHING.
- I'LL JUST KEEP IT.
- IT'S THE CROWN
TO A SKULL I GAVE HER.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
OF COURSE I'LL GIVE IT TO HER.
- BUT I DON'T...
I HAVE NO USE FOR THAT.
IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
I GAVE HER.
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- SO I'LL LET YOU DO IT.
I'LL LET YOU DO THAT.
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
- WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S A... IT'S A RING.
- FOR WHO?
- FOR CARLTON.
- HA.
- WHO'S THAT DRIVER IN THERE?
- HEY, WAIT, WAIT.
I HAVE THIS FOR YOU.
THIS IS FROM KYLE.
IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE
THAT SHE GAVE YOU.
SHE ASKED... SHE JUST ASKED ME
TO GIVE IT TO YOU.
SO... MEANS YOU'RE THE QUEEN
FOR THE DAY.
- WOW! OKAY.
- I DON'T...
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
I DON'T KNOW.
- IF IT WAS A PEACE OFFERING,
THEN KYLE SHOULD HAVE THE BALLS
TO COME UP TO ME
AND GIVE ME THE RING
AS A PEACE OFFERING.
IF ANYBODY GETS ANYBODY
TO DO THEIR DIRTY WORK,
IT WOULD BE KYLE.
- THAT'S WEIRD.
- WHY?
- WELL, THAT NECKLACE WAS BLUE,
WASN'T IT?
- IT WAS A SKULL.
- BUT IT GOES WITH.
- OH, OKAY.
- YOU SURE
YOU WANNA TAKE IT, OR...
- IF YOU DON'T WANNA TAKE IT,
I'LL KEEP IT.
- YEAH, ONE OF YOU GUYS KEEP IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
I MEAN, IT'S A GIFT.
I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KEEP IT.
- I CAN'T, YOU KNOW.
I'M SORRY, I REALLY CAN'T.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- WELL, THEN GIVE IT
BACK TO HER.
- I DON'T WANNA BE
THE MIDDLE MAN IN THIS,
'CAUSE I'LL JUST KEEP IT
AND WEAR IT.
- WELL, THEN YOU GIVE IT
BACK TO HER.
- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO HER.
THIS IS [bleep] RIDICULOUS.
LISA WILL ALWAYS
JUST INSERT HERSELF
IN SOMETHING THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO [bleep] DO WITH HER.
IT'S ANNOYING.
IT'S LIKE, GUESS WHAT.
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.
LIKE, SHUT UP.
- DOES IT GO WITH THE NECKLACE?
- NO.
- KYLE!
- MAYBE I'M MISSING SOMETHING.
WHAT DOES A GOLD RING
HAVE TO DO WITH A BLUE NECKLACE?
I MEAN, IS SHE GONNA GIVE HER
HER WHOLE BLOODY JEWELRY BOX?
I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
WASN'T IT A BLUE SKULL
OR SOMETHING?
WELL, MAYBE
IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
- YOU KNOW...
- HAVE YOUR PEACE OFFERING.
IT MIGHT BE A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
MIGHT BE, CARLTON.
- IT TAKES MORE THAN A GIFT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- WELL, TRY. IT'S A START.
- I'M NOT DOING THIS IN HERE.
- THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO START IT.
YOU'VE GOTTA DO IT.
- I DON'T WANT TO. I DON'T.
- WHETHER YOU DO IT HERE,
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
- THAT'S OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT
TO DO THIS HERE.
- I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD DO THIS HERE.
- IT MIGHT BE A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
- NO, NO. LISA, IT'S
MY DAUGHTER'S GOING-AWAY PARTY.
- YEAH, WE DON'T WANNA DO THAT...
- WE'RE NOT HANDLING ANYTHING
RIGHT NOW.
- EITHER WAY,
WE DON'T WANNA DO THAT HERE.
- NO.
LISA NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.
BECAUSE UNCONSCIOUSLY
SHE'S BEEN INTIMIDATING
THE GIRLS IN THIS GROUP.
OR AT LEAST I THINK
IT'S SOMETHING
SHE DOES UNCONSCIOUSLY.
MAYBE SHE DOES IT CONSCIOUSLY.
BUT I FIND IT EXHAUSTING.
- PRETTY GIRL...
I'M GIVING THIS BACK TO YOU.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- [laughing]
SHE CAN'T ACCEPT IT.
- COMING UP...
- IT WAS SEEN
AS A PEACE OFFERING TONIGHT,
WASN'T IT?
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SAID IT'S GOLD,
IT DOESN'T MATCH WITH BLUE.
THAT'S WHAT BRANDI
SAID YOU SAID.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT?
- CARLTON SAID
SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY ACCEPT THIS.
AND I SAID,
"IT MATCHES THE NECKLACE THAT..."
- IT'S THE CROWN TO THE SKULL
I GAVE HER.
- RIGHT. UM...
- RIGHT?
- BUT LISA POINTED OUT
THAT THE NECKLACE
YOU GAVE HER WAS BLUE,
AND IT DOESN'T EVEN MATCH.
SO WHY WOULD SHE WANT IT?
- BUT WHY WOULD LISA SAY THAT?
- YOU TELL ME.
- FEELS LIKE TO ME THAT LISA'S
TRYING TO STIR UP TROUBLE
BY SAYING THAT TO CARLTON.
BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.
SHE'S SNEAKY.
- IT WAS HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
SHE DOESN'T WANT IT.
LISA SAYS IT DOESN'T MATCH.
I'LL TAKE IT. - THANKS, LISA.
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT?
- YEAH, I WOULD.
- I THINK LISA'S TRYING
TO STIR THE POT,
AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO MEDDLE
IN EVERYONE'S [bleep] BUSINESS.
I HATE IT.
- WHY'S LISA'S SAYING,
"WHY WOULD SHE WANT THIS?
IT DOESN'T GO WITH IT"?
THAT'S SO ODD.
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
IT GOES WITH IT.
- SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
YOU ASK HER.
- SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
- ASK HER TOMORROW
WHEN SHE CALLS YOU. GOOD!
HI, YO-YO! - HI, GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HEY.
- HOW WAS... HOW'S GIGI?
IS SHE HAVING FUN?
- SHE'S GOOD.
I JUST WANTED TO FIND HER.
YEAH.
I WANNA FIND HER BECAUSE
I WANNA KEEP IT ABOUT HER.
- YEAH.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- PUT AN END TO THE DRAMA.
- ABSO... NO!
- OKAY, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
- OKAY, THEN.
- WHY DID... I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU SAID TO CARLTON?
- WHAT I SAID TO CARLTON?
- SEE, SO I...
- SHE GAVE... BRANDI GAVE HER
A RING OR SOMETHING FROM YOU.
- NO, AT THE RED, WHITE,
AND BLUE PARTY,
I HAD ON... IT WAS A GOLD CHAIN.
- MM-HMM.
- AND A BLUE...
IT WAS CARVED.
- YEAH, AND YOU GAVE IT TO HER.
- YEAH. I GAVE IT TO HER.
- IT WAS BLUE,
AND YOU GAVE IT TO HER.
- SO WHEN I GOT HOME...
- MM-HMM.
- LATER, I REALIZE THAT
THAT GOLD CROWN,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SLIDE IT
ON THE CHAIN
AND IT LIKE SITS
ON TOP OF THE SKULL.
- I KNOW, BUT IT WAS SEEN
AS A PEACE OFFERING TONIGHT,
WASN'T IT?
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SAID, "IT'S GOLD,
IT DOESN'T MATCH WITH BLUE."
THAT'S WHAT BRANDI
SAID YOU SAID.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT?
- BRANDI SAID THAT YOU SAID...
- NO, I... NO, NO.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- IT DOESN'T EVEN MATCH.
IT'S BLUE, IT'S GOLD.
WHY WOULD SHE WANT THAT?
- I SAID,
"DOES THIS GO WITH IT?"
AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."
THAT'S WEIRD. - WHY?
- WELL, THAT NECKLACE
WAS BLUE, WASN'T IT?
WASN'T IT A BLUE SKULL
OR SOMETHING?
WHY WOULD BRANDI EVEN BOTHER
TO REPEAT THAT?
THAT WAS AN INNOCUOUS,
INANE REMARK.
JUST STATING THE FACTS...
WHAT DOES A RING HAVE TO DO
WITH A NECKLACE?
WHY ARE WE TRYING
TO CREATE A PROBLEM HERE?
I SAID, "IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION."
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT WASN'T EVEN THAT,
TO BE HONEST, LISA.
- WHAT IS IT?
- I DON'T WANT THAT EVEN THERE.
IT'S PART OF IT.
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THAT,
I'M GONNA REMEMBER
THE BLUE NECK...
I DON'T WANT ANY ASSOCIATION
WITH HER.
- COME ON, LET'S BE HONEST.
YOU COULD THROW IT IN THE BIN.
IT WAS THE POINT THAT YOU...
- I COULD, BUT I DON'T WANNA
THROW IT IN THE BIN.
IT'S NICE JEWELRY.
I COULD THROW THESE
IN THE BIN TOO.
- NO, BUT IT CAME FROM A PLACE
OF TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER.
- WELL, YEAH, I DON'T WANNA BE
IN A NEGATIVE SPACE.
- YEAH.
- DO I WANNA BE HER FRIEND?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
HERE SHE IS TELLING CARLTON,
"THAT DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE.
DON'T TAKE IT."
AND THEN SHE'S COMING OVER TO ME
AND SAYING,
"OH, BUT THAT WAS A GESTURE
ON YOUR PART, RIGHT?"
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,
PLAYING BOTH SIDES LIKE THIS?
DON'T PLAY THESE GAMES.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
- I DON'T WANNA BE...
I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THANK YOU FOR THE RING.
WE'RE GOOD. FINE.
HELLO? - IT'S NOT A RING.
IT'S THE CROWN OF THE SKULL.
- WELL, THE CROWN
OF THE SKULL, WHATEVER.
LET'S NOT DO THIS AGAIN.
COME ON.
COME ON!
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,
WHY PEOPLE MAKE THINGS
SO BLOODY COMPLICATED.
I KINDA THINK THAT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I'M A MAN
IN A WOMAN'S BODY
AND THEY FORGOT TO GIVE ME
THE DICK
WHEN THEY WERE DOLING THEM OUT,
BECAUSE I DON'T GET IT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- UM...
- AND THEN WE'LL COME BACK OUT.
- WELL, I'M JUST GONNA
HOLD ON TO THIS FOR A WHILE.
- GIVE IT TO ME.
I DIDN'T SAY
IT DOESN'T GO WITH IT.
- WHY?
YEAH, YOU DID. - NO, I DIDN'T.
SHE SAID, "DOES..."
I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT,
THE BLUE THING?"
AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID.
- YOU SAID, "IT DOESN'T EVEN GO
WITH THE NECKLACE SHE GOT HER."
- NO, I DIDN'T. NO, I DIDN'T.
I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT?"
- THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID.
- OKAY, BRANDI.
- I'M SAYING THAT YOU SAID,
"WHY IS SHE GIVING THIS TO YOU?"
- YEAH. WHY IS SHE?
- BECAUSE IT WAS PART
OF HER NECKLACE.
- THIS IS A PEACE OFFERING.
- NO, IT'S A PART
OF HER NECKLACE.
- IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW!
- WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
WHAT IT WAS?
- I'M NOT INVOLVED IN THIS!
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- WELL, LET'S GET SOME...
DESSERT.
- WE FORGOT TO GIVE GIGI
HER CAKE.
- THANK GOD. LET US EAT CAKE.
- AWW.
- GIGI, DON'T GO!
- YOU PUT ME ON IT?
- YES!
- CHANGE YOUR MIND!
- SCHEANA DID IT.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
MAKE A WISH. - MAKE A WISH?
- A WISH FOR YOUR TRIP
TO NEW YORK.
I GUESS NOT TRIP... - TRIP?
- YOUR MOVE.
- MOVE.
OKAY.
ONE MORE.
[cheers and applause]
- YAY!
- MWAH!
- I HAVE 'EM IN MY BAG.
YES? - AH.
- WHERE'S MAURICIO?
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
HE WASN'T HERE.
- OH, THAT'S NICE.
I'LL TELL HIM.
HE'S ACTUALLY IN CABO.
- WELL, I DID IN THE BEGINNING.
WHERE IS HE? - HE'S IN CABO.
- DOING WHAT?
- WE'RE OPENING AN AGENCY
IN MEXICO.
- OH, REALLY?
- YEAH.
- BACK TO HIS ROOTS.
- BACK TO HIS ROOTS. EXACTLY.
- WOW.
- SO, YEAH.
I HAVE TO GET SOME THINGS
IN PUERTO RICO.
- LIKE WHAT?
- LIKE BATHING SUITS
AND DRESSES.
- GET SOME THINGS
FOR PUERTO RICO.
- YEAH.
- OH, OKAY.
- NO. FOR PUERTO RICO.
- MAYBE I'LL COME
TO YOUR SHOP TOMORROW.
I NEED A COUPLE
OF LONG DRESSES OR SOMETHING.
- YEAH. LET'S MEET TOMORROW.
- OKAY.
WHERE'S, UH, JOYCE?
- JOYCE'S DAD DIED YESTERDAY.
- WHAT?
- HER FATHER PASSED AWAY.
- OH, NO!
- YESTERDAY, JOYCE CALLED ME
TO TELL ME THAT HER FATHER
PASSED AWAY,
AND I THOUGHT
MAYBE SOME OF THE WOMEN
WOULD WANNA REACH OUT TO HER.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
JOYCE'S DAD DIED.
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
- JOYCE'S DAD DIED?
- THAT'S WHAT THEY JUST SAID.
- OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE KIDDING.
- I JUST KNEW
SHE WAS CANCELLING ON EVENTS,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHY.
- AND IS SHE STILL GOING
TO PUERTO RICO, OR NO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED
TO ANY MEMBER OF MY FAMILY,
I WOULD BE IN A STRAITJACKET
FOR MONTHS.
I FEEL HORRIBLE.
I FEEL LIKE, IF THAT'S THE CASE,
WE SHOULD...
MAYBE NOT GO.
- ON THE TRIP?
YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD CANCEL.
- COMING UP...
- WE NEVER DID TALK
ABOUT THAT DAY,
AND THE REASON I WANNA SAY
IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE,
IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.
- OH, MY GOD, I THOUGHT WE HAD.
- THIS IS THE HARDEST,
FROM BEING ON OUR DIET.
- I HAVE TO HAVE A BIT
FOR GOOD LUCK THOUGH.
- UM...
- MOMMY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A LITTLE BITE WITH ME.
- MM-MM.
- YES, YOU ARE.
- I... OKAY.
YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE BITE.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE BITE.
BUT NOT TOO BIG.
NO, THAT'S TOO BIG.
HALF OF THAT.
GIGI'S IN CHARGE
OF HER OWN DIET.
BUT TO BE ON YOUR BEST WEIGHT,
YOU GOTTA MAKE
THE RIGHT CHOICES.
THIS IS YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT, GIGI?
I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH BREAD.
I'LL DO... I'LL DO THIS.
HOW IS IT?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU JUST DID THAT.
- IT'S SO GOOD.
- I'LL SHOW YOU SOME OF THESE,
WHICH I LIKE.
- I'M EXCITED, RIGHT?
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.
THIS... THESE, UM, ARE CAMILLA.
AND THESE ARE EXCLUSIVE
TO MY STORE.
I'M OBSESSED WITH THESE.
- THIS IS CUTE TOO, ISN'T IT?
- YES.
I JUST LIKE THESE KIND FABRICS
FOR GOING, YOU KNOW,
SOMEPLACE LIKE PUERTO RICO.
- AND I QUITE LIKE
THIS SWIMMING...
SO JOYCE INFORMED US
THAT HER FATHER HAD PASSED AWAY
AND THAT SHE STILL WANTED
TO GO AHEAD WITH THE TRIP.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
SHE'S GOING TO DEAL WITH IT,
BUT EVERYBODY DEALS WITH GRIEF
DIFFERENTLY.
AND I THINK, RIGHT NOW,
IT'S NOT ABOUT US.
IT'S ABOUT HER,
AND WE HAVE TO SUPPORT HER.
END OF STORY.
- ACTUALLY I WANNA TRY THIS TOO
MYSELF.
SORRY, THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.
[laughing]
- OH, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE.
NICE, SELFLESS.
- AFTER SPEAKING WITH BRANDI,
I REALIZED THAT WITH LISA...
EVEN WHEN SHE'S BEING KIND
AND SAYING SOMETHING NICE,
YOU'RE WONDERING,
IS THIS GENUINE?
I DON'T WANNA FEEL LIKE THAT
WITH MY FRIENDS.
- I REALLY WANT TO GO
TO PUERTO RICO
AND HAVE NO BULL[bleep].
- ME TOO.
- I THINK I'M TIRED OF IT.
REALLY.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE
THERE'S SO MUCH, LIKE...
I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW...
I MEAN, YOU AND I
HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD OUR PROBLEMS.
- OH, FORGET ABOUT THAT.
- PEOPLE HAVE BEEN COMING TO ME
AND SAYING, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, "HOW CAN YOU HAVE
A PARTY WITH LISA?"
- WHO SAID THAT?
- "HOW'D YOU GUYS DO THAT?"
YOU KNOW... - WHO SAYS THAT?
- PEOPLE.
"HOW'D YOU GUYS JUST DO THAT?
DID YOU GUYS..."
- OH, YOLANDA SAYS THAT.
DID SHE SAY THAT TO...
- I'M NOT SAYING WHO,
I'M JUST SAYING THEY'RE LIKE
LOOKING AT ME LIKE,
"DID YOU GUYS EVER TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING SINCE,
YOU KNOW..." - YES!
- "THE WHOLE THING
THAT HAPPENED?"
I MEAN, I'M CERTAINLY
NOT GONNA TELL LISA.
BUT CLEARLY YOLANDA AND BRANDI
HAVE VALID POINTS.
- I SAID THAT SO LONG AGO.
AND ONE THING
THAT'S REMAINED REALLY...
- AND THEY'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT WHAT...
THEY'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT THE ARGUMENT BEFORE.
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
SINCE THEN.
LIKE, THE ACCUSATIONS
WITH MAURICIO.
- SINCE WHAT?
- LIKE, THE STUFF WITH MAURICIO,
THE ACCUSATIONS
- THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES
THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.
[laughing]
- WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I'M SERIOUS.
I DON'T WANNA KEEP DOING THAT.
THE REASON I WANNA...
- MY GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW SUPPORTIVE
KEN AND I HAVE BEEN
OVER THIS WHOLE...
- LISTEN, CAN I...
- I AM ON MAURICIO'S SIDE.
- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
- FORGET IT, IT'S DONE.
- WE NEVER DID TALK ABOUT THAT.
AND THE REASON I WANNA SAY
IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE,
IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
- BUT I HAVE MOVED FORWARD.
- BUT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TOO.
- OH, MY GOD, I THOUGHT WE HAD.
- NO, LISTEN.
MY POINT IS IT WAS HURTFUL,
IT HURT ME,
AND I JUST WANNA
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT
AND TALK ABOUT IT,
AND THEN MOVE ON.
AND I'M NOT KIDDING.
I'M NOT GONNA BRING IT UP.
I DON'T WANNA KEEP GOING ON
AND ON AND ON ABOUT IT.
- OH, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
- THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID.
- I THOUGHT WE WERE OKAY.
I CAN'T DO IT, KYLE.
- I WANT TO HEAR LISA TELL ME
SHE'S SORRY.
I DON'T WANNA HEAR,
"OH, WE'VE DONE THIS,
WE'VE DONE THIS,"
AND BRUSHING IT
UNDER THE CARPET.
NO.
THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME
SO... UPSET.
I NEED TO HEAR SHE'S SORRY.
- I DON'T NEED
TO JUSTIFY MY POSITION.
YOU WOULD NEVER FIND AGAIN
ANOTHER FRIEND
THAT WAS MORE LOYAL TO YOU
THAN I WAS,
AND DON'T FORGET THAT, MISSY.
- NEXT TIME, ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- THIS IS WHY WE CAME.
- HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS!
- LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS WATER.
OH, MY GOSH!
- AYE-YI-YI.
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU WERE MOVING AWAY FROM ME
AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M REALLY UPSET.
- LISA, WALKING AWAY
IS NOT GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.
- WELL, I DON'T WANNA STAY.
- IT'S ALL CLEAR THAT KYLE
NEEDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
- IF THAT'S THE TRUTH,
IT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING
YOU CAN DO.
- INSTEAD OF, LIKE,
HEARING TWO THINGS
FROM TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE,
I WANNA KNOW.
- THIS IS A [bleep]
SABOTAGE ATTACK.
- I'M TIRED
OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!
YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN, OLD MAN!
SHUT UP! - SERIOUSLY.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- EVEN BRANDI.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,