The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Moroccan Madness - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- WHAT REALLY DID GO DOWN
BETWEEN YOU AND ADRIENNE?

- WE ALL KNOW THIS ONE
MAJOR LIE TO BE TRUE,

SO I DECIDE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

THEN, LIKE, SHE...

- YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
WHAT IS THIS WOMAN THINKING?

- YOU LIE!
- I AM NOT LYING, BITCH.

I AM NOT LYING.
- YOU CALL MY WIFE A BITCH?

- [bleep] YOU!
- YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].

- I'M REALLY PISSED.
- I KNOW. I DON'T BLAME YOU.

- REALLY, REALLY PISSED.



- I DON'T BLAME YOU.
- LET'S GO.

- AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU WATCH.
NOW IT'S A LAWSUIT.

- SHEENA REALLY WANTS
TO MEET WITH YOU.

- SHE RUINED MY FAMILY.

DO NOT CRY TO ME ABOUT EDDIE
AND FALLING FOR HIM.

- I'M NOT CRYING OVER THAT.

I'M CRYING 'CAUSE I FEEL BAD,
AND I HONESTLY...

- I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR YOU.
- I DIDN'T KNOW.

- I LOST MY FAMILY.

I LOST EVERYTHING THAT I HAD.

SO, IF ANYONE'S GONNA CRY HERE,
IT'S NOT GONNA BE YOU.

- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS
AND ROSE, BUT IT SHOULD BE.

- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.

- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS,
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.



- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE

TO GO HOME NOW.

- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.

- LIFE IS A JOURNEY, AND I'M
FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.

- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.

THIS IS MY TOWN.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WERE
AND WHAT YOU WEREN'T.

I WAS THE MOTHER
OF HIS CHILDREN.

I WAS HIS WIFE.
I WAS HIS EVERYTHING.

YOU WERE THE OTHER WOMAN.
- I UNDERSTAND.

- SO DON'T GET IT TWISTED.

I JUST WANT YOU
TO JUST RESPECT YOURSELF

AND MOVE FORWARD
IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.

I REALLY AM... - I HAVE.

- THAT'S THE MOTHER IN ME.
- YEAH.

- LIKE, EVERYTHING I HAVE,
I GIVE TO MY CHILDREN.

THEY'RE THE HAPPIEST
[bleep] KIDS

[voice breaking]
THAT COME FROM A DIVORCE FAMILY.

I WILL NOT EVER SAY
A BAD WORD ABOUT THEIR DAD

IN FRONT OF THEM.

EVEN IF HE'S CHEATING NOW,

I DON'T WANT HIM
TO DIVORCE LEANN,

BECAUSE IF THEY...

I DON'T WANT HIM
TO PUT MY KIDS THROUGH THAT.

THEY'RE PERFECT LITTLE BOYS,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE

THEY STAY PERFECT.

I DON'T HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE.

I MEAN, IT'S...
I JUST FEEL LIKE...

DON'T EVER BE THE OTHER WOMAN...
JUST DON'T.

LIKE, YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

- I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY
THAT I HURT YOU.

- I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

SO I'M GONNA RUN NOW 'CAUSE
I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF UP,

BUT WHEN I SEE YOU,
I'M HAPPY TO SAY HELLO.

I'M NOT THAT PERSON. - OKAY.

- SO DON'T, LIKE, RUN FROM ME.
JUST THROW ME A WAVE.

ALL RIGHT? AND, UM...

GOOD LUCK.
NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT.

- THANK YOU.
- I'M NOT... I'M NOT...

- HI, DARLING.

OH... HOW'D IT GO?

LET'S GO AND SIT DOWN.

I AM FILLED WITH ANXIETY

FOR HOW BRANDI'S MANAGED
TO HANDLE IT.

- DO YOU THINK
ONE OF YOUR CUTE BOYFRIENDS

WOULD BRING US
A BIG GLASS OF ROSE?

- STEVEN?

CAN WE HAVE TWO GLASSES OF ROSE?

SHOULD I MAKE THAT TWO BOTTLES?

HOW WAS IT?

- WHEN I WAS GETTING READY,
I WAS REALLY NERVOUS.

I, LIKE, ALMOST THREW UP,

AND I NEVER...
I WAS, LIKE, JUST...

I HAD PITS IN MY STOMACH
BECAUSE IT JUST...

IT'S LIKE GOING BACKWARDS
IN TIME FOR ME.

- DID YOU KIND OF GET ANSWERS
TO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS?

- LIKE, I FEEL LIKE...
I ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

I THINK SHE'S A LITTLE BIT
OF A LOST SOUL.

- HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME.
HE BOUGHT ME DIAMOND EARRINGS.

HE TOOK ME ON TRIPS. THERE WAS...

I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING,
LIKE, IT WAS MORE...

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP
SAYING THIS, HONEY... I GOT IT.

I KNOW YOU WERE [bleep] MY
HUSBAND... I GOT THAT. I GET THAT.

SHE FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT
WITH JAKEY,

AND SHE STILL STAYED WITH HIM.

- OH, REALLY?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

THANKS, DEAR.
- THANK YOU, HONEY.

"HONEY." SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW YOU, BUT HI.

- "HONEY" WILL DO.

JUST KNOWING ALL THE TIME
HE WAS WITH HER,

HE WAS GIVING YOU EXCUSES,
AND YOU WERE...

- "I'M AT THE GOLF COURSE.
I DON'T HAVE CELL PHONE SERVICE.

I DON'T HAVE THIS."

- WE WENT OUT TO BARS TOGETHER.
WE WENT OUT TO RESTAURANTS.

WE WENT TO THE LAKE TOGETHER.
WE WENT...

- YOU WENT TO THE LAKE
ON MY BOAT.

I KNOW. I SAW THE PICTURES
THAT YOU PUT OUT THERE.

- OBVIOUSLY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
BOAT WAS SHARED WITH ANYONE.

- AND I'M LOOKING ACROSS
THE TABLE AT HER, GOING,

"SHE'S NUMBER 3 OF, LIKE, 100."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THERE ARE SO MANY.

AND THERE WILL BE MORE
TO COME, I'M SURE.

BUT YOU CAN'T STEAL
SOMEONE'S HUSBAND.

YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO GO.

BUT I WILL TELL YOU,
WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER AT HOME,

IT WAS PERFECT.

[voice breaking] HE TOLD ME
HOW PRETTY I WAS EVERY DAY.

I HAVEN'T HAD A LOVE
LIKE THAT SINCE,

AND I HOPE I DO AGAIN.

BUT JUST HEARING HER, LIKE,
SAY, "OH, HE DID..."

I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE HER
THE SATISFACTION

OF KNOWING SHE HAD EVEN GOT
TO ME, BECAUSE I JUST...

I REALLY HAVE MOVED ON, BUT...

- I KNOW HOW PAINFUL
THAT MUST FEEL.

I SEE IT. I SEE IT. I SEE IT.

- LIKE, I DON'T LIKE TO BE WEAK.

SORRY... I DON'T LIKE
GOING BACKWARDS.

NO, BUT THAT'S... THE PROBLEM IS,

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...
I HAVE TO BE STRONG.

- YOU ARE STRONG. I SEE THAT.

- I HAVE TO BE STRONG
FOR EVERYONE.

- BUT STRONG DOESN'T MEAN
YOU DON'T HAVE EMOTIONS.

- I CAN'T BE VULNERABLE
FOR MY KIDS.

- I SEE YOU WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

I SEE WHAT A WONDERFUL MOTHER
YOU ARE.

AND LISTEN, THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT
OUT OF THE MARRIAGE.

- I KNOW.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

- SO, ULTIMATELY, YOU DID WIN.
- I KNOW.

- AND YOU'RE MAKING LEAPS
AND BOUNDS, TRUST ME.

I SEE HOW YOU'VE GOTTEN
OVER HIM.

AND YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY
WHILE I HAVE TO STAY AT WORK.

COULDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME
THE TRUTH, THOUGH?

DO YOU FEEL BETTER
FOR HAVING DONE THAT?

- I DO. OF COURSE I DO.

CAN I ASK YOU ONE QUESTION?

- YEAH, YOU CAN ASK ME
ANYTHING YOU WANT.

- DO YOU LIKE HER
BETTER THAN ME?

- DO I LIKE HER BETTER THAN YOU?
STOP THAT.

- I WANT TO KNOW.
YOU HAVE TO ANSWER.

- SHE'S NOT MY FRIEND.
SHE WORKS FOR ME.

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.
- SO JUST SAY NO.

- I DON'T CHOOSE PEOPLE TO WORK
FOR ME... I CHOOSE MY FRIENDS.

OKAY, YOU ARE A CHOSEN ONE.
NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP IT?

- I NEED LOVE RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, YOU'VE GOT IT. BYE.

- I'M JUST GONNA SHRIVEL UP
AND DIE AN OLD MAID.

- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE...
IN MY GUESTHOUSE.

- [laughs] HOPEFULLY.

- HELLO, THERE.
- HEY, KYLE.

- LOOK HOW CUTE YOU LOOK.
- HOW ARE YOU, HONEY?

- I'M GOOD,
BUT I'M SCARED OF THESE BEES.

I DON'T WANT TO COME UP THERE.
- NO, I HAVE HIVES.

I'M MAKING HONEY. COME.

- I THINK YOLANDA IS LIKE
THE DUTCH MARTHA STEWART

OR SOMETHING.

SHE'S PICKING LEMONS
IN HER GARDEN AND LAVENDER.

DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE
ENOUGH LEMONS? I'M WORRIED.

[both laugh]

I MEAN, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE
A LEMONADE STAND OR SOMETHING?

- THE FIRST TIME I DID
THE MASTER CLEANSE,

I GOT SO INSPIRED
BY THE WAY I WAS FEELING

THAT I WANTED TO HAVE
ORGANIC LEMONS.

- I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

I THINK YOU WENT
A LITTLE OVERBOARD.

I DO. - I DID.

I WAS INTRODUCED
TO THE MASTER CLEANSE,

WHICH IS A CLEANSE
THAT YOU DO WITH LEMONS.

AND, YOU KNOW,
YOU DON'T EAT FOR TEN DAYS,

AND YOU JUST REALLY CLEANSE
YOUR ENTIRE BODY,

WHICH REALLY REBOOTS
YOUR METABOLISM

AND YOUR BRAIN,
YOU KNOW, CHEMICALS

AND ALL OF THAT.

I JUST FELT SO GOOD DOING THAT

THAT I'M OBSESSED WITH LEMONS.

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE SOME...
- YEAH.

- JUST SO YOU SEE
WHAT GOES IN IT?

- I WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE
TO TRY WHAT IT TASTES LIKE,

'CAUSE I WANTED TO DO THIS.

- SO, IF YOU DO THE LEMONS,
I WILL MEASURE THE REST.

AND, UM, I'LL GET SOME WATER
FOR YOU TO USE.

- CAN'T WE JUST DO
A COOKIE CLEANSE OR SOMETHING?

- SO WE HAVE THE LEMON.
WE HAVE THE MAPLE SYRUP.

AND WE'LL PUT...

A LITTLE TEASPOON
OF CAYENNE PEPPER.

WHAT CAYENNE PEPPER DOES,
IT SPEEDS UP THE METABOLISM.

OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS
THAT YOU LOSE WEIGHT.

YOU CAN LOSE, LIKE, TEN POUNDS.

- WELL, HELLO?
WHY DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS?

- TO BE HEALTHY.

- YEAH, YOU HAVE FUN WITH THAT.

- CHEERS.
- CHEERS.

THIS DOES NOT TASTE BAD.

I'LL DO THIS CLEANSE...
UNTIL I GET BACK HOME TODAY.

I AM STUFFED.

[both laughing]

- YOU'RE FUNNY.

SO HOW IS KIMBERLY DOING?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I INVITED HER, LIKE, THREE...

THREE TIMES
TO COME AND DO THIS WITH HER,

BECAUSE I REALLY WANTED HER TO,
YOU KNOW,

GET HEALTHY AND FEEL GOOD.

AND I SAID...
- WEREN'T YOU GUYS...

YOU GUYS WERE TALKING
ABOUT THIS IN OJAI.

- YEAH, SO WE SAID... YEAH.

LET'S DO THE MASTER CLEANSE.

SHE HASN'T SHOWN UP.
- DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

SHE'S LIKE...
SHE DOES THAT WITH ME TOO.

- YOU KNOW, ONCE, OKAY.
TWO TIMES, NOT SO GOOD.

- THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE OUT?
- THREE STRIKES, WELL...

- WHAT? MY SISTER? NO.

SHE'S DEFINITELY STRONGER,
IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE.

BUT WE STILL HAVE OUR MOMENTS,
YOU KNOW?

I KEPT THINKING, "OH, THAT'S IT.
IT'S ALL GONNA BE GREAT NOW."

- YEAH, IT DOESN'T.
- BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

- NO, NO. AND IT TAKES TIME.

- I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
IT'S WEIRD.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS LITTLE,
SHE WAS, LIKE, MY HERO.

I USED TO THINK SHE WAS MAGIC...
- AW.

- BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS...

DID YOU EVER SEE THE MOVIE
ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN?

- NO.
- SHE HAD POWERS...

AND SHE COULD MAKE THINGS,
YOU KNOW, APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR,

AND SHE WOULD, YOU KNOW,
GO LIKE THIS WITH HER HANDS

AND, YOU KNOW...

SO, WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS MAGIC.

AND IF MY MOM WOULDN'T GET
ME SOMETHING,

I'D SAY, "WELL, KIMMY'S
GONNA GET IT FOR ME."

- THAT'S SO CUTE.
- SHE REALLY DID LOOK AFTER ME.

SHE WAS MY HERO.

BUT WHEN WE WOULD FIGHT,

SHE WOULD, LIKE, DIG
HER NAILS IN ME, DRAW BLOOD.

I WOULD BITE HER.

IT WAS LIKE...
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HORRIBLE.

- THAT'S FUNNY.

- SO I GUESS WE'VE ALWAYS HAD
THAT RELATIONSHIP.

IT MAKES ME REALLY SAD
THE WAY KIM AND I ARGUE...

REALLY SAD.

- KYLE, I'VE HEARD YOU...
FIVE TIMES.

HEARD YOU! BLAH! DONE THAT.

WOW.

- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE RUDE TO ME.

- I'M NOT.
- YEAH, YOU ARE.

- YOU JUST KEEP REPEATING
THE SAME THING.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA TAKE TIME

TO GET TO A VERY HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP.

IT'S NOT JUST
GONNA COME OVERNIGHT.

KIM WILL ALWAYS BE WHO KIM IS.

SHE'S GOT TO LET HER,
YOU KNOW, WALK HER OWN PATH.

SHE'S YOUR SISTER, AND SHE
DESERVES TO HAVE YOU CLOSE,

AND YOU'RE PROBABLY HER ROCK.
- THANK YOU.

- IF WE CAN ONLY GET HER
THROUGH TEN DAYS OF THIS,

IT WILL CHANGE HER CHOICES
IN HER LIFE.

I PROMISE YOU.
I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT.

- YEAH. TELL HER.
BETTER YOU THAN ME.

- THAT'S A NORMAL THING.

- DO YOU THINK
I'LL LOSE WEIGHT BY TOMORROW

IF I HAVE THIS TODAY? - NO.

- DAMN.

- I MADE THESE COOKIES.
DON'T TELL!

I MADE THESE COOKIES.

[doorbell rings]

HELLO. - HEY, KIM, HOW ARE YOU?

- [laughing]

- HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
- I FEEL GOOD.

- GOOD, GOOD SEEING YOU.
- REALLY GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

GARY'S A LIFE COACH.

SOMETIMES WHEN I GET BAFFLED,

HE JUST COMES ON IN
AND PUTS IN HIS TWO CENTS.

- I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR FOUR OR FIVE YEARS NOW.

AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU,
YOU LOOK SO AMAZING RIGHT NOW.

YOU ARE SO CLEAR
AND SO BEAUTIFUL.

I MEAN, YOUR AURA'S
JUST WONDERFUL, I'M TELLING YOU.

YOU REALLY ARE. - [squeals]

- NO, YOU'RE MAKING LEAPS
AND BOUNDS.

AND THAT'S A WONDERFUL THING.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
I REALLY AM.

YOU KNOW,
BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING.

- GARY HELPS ME COPE,
COMMUNICATE, FIND STRUCTURE,

AND... [inhales deeply]

[exhales deeply] BREATHE.

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
IN MY LIFE THAT I COULD...

WE'VE DISCUSSED
THAT I COULD BE ANGRY ABOUT,

THAT I HAVE RESENTMENT...
THAT I COULD HAVE RESENTMENT.

IF I DON'T LET THOSE RESENTMENTS
AND THAT ANGER GO,

IT WILL BURDEN AND WEIGH ME DOWN
EVERY SINGLE DAY.

- YOU'LL BE A DRUNK
IN THE CORNER SOMEWHERE.

- I'LL BE A DRUNK IN THE CORNER.

BUT I FEEL LIKE, WITH KYLE,

I'M SO...

MAD.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE
SHE'S THE SAME PERSON.

I MISS HER. - YEAH.

IT'S NOT THAT SHE'S NOT
THE SAME... YOU'RE NOT THE SAME.

YOU'RE NOT DRUNK.

NO, IT'S NOT MAYBE.
YOU'RE NOT DRUNK.

YOU'RE SEEING
WITH CLEAR EYES NOW.

YOU HAD A PROBLEM.
SHE COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT.

IT'S OVER WITH NOW.

WORK IT OUT AND CONTINUE
TO GO AND GO ON.

- I-I'M HURT
BY WHAT SHE DID TO ME.

I AM.

YOU STOLE MY GODDAMN HOUSE!

- [bleep] YOU
FOR TALKING LIKE THAT.

- STOP IT!

- YOU ARE A LIAR
AND SICK AND AN ALCOHOLIC.

- STOP IT, STOP IT.
- OKAY?

YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.

- IF YOU LOVE ANYBODY AND
YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A PROBLEM,

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU DON'T GO

TO THEM IN PRIVATE...

AND SAY, "I LOVE YOU,
AND I'M WORRIED."

I WAS NOT WELL.
I WAS IN A REALLY BAD PLACE.

AND I JUST KEPT THINKING,

"SISTERS DON'T DO THAT
TO SISTERS."

- SHE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING YOU.

SHE DIDN'T GO
WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH.

SHE'S THINKING THAT
ONCE YOU COME OUT OF THE REHAB,

YOU'RE KIM AGAIN,
ALL OF THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

EVEN NOW AS WE TALK,
YOU'RE STILL CARRYING BAGGAGE.

AND IT TAKES A WHILE
TO GET THAT BAGGAGE OUT.

THE BOND IS FRAGILE.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

IT'S TIME TO SAY,
"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

"LET'S CUT THE BULL[bleep] OUT.

"LET'S FIND OUT EXACTLY
WHAT THE SITUATION IS.

LET'S MAKE AMENDS AND GO ON."

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,

YOU'RE GONNA BE RIGHT HERE
IN THE SAME PLACE.

- WE HAVEN'T HAD ANY SORT
OF REAL RELATIONSHIP,

AND OBVIOUSLY WE NEED TO HAVE
A CONVERSATION.

- YOU'RE DOING WELL.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU
AT THIS POINT,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND I WILL SAY A PRAYER THAT YOU
DON'T SLIP BACK WITH ONE DRINK.

THAT ONE DRINK WILL JUST...
IT'LL [bleep] YOUR WORLD UP.

- COMING UP...

- I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.
- COME ON, DARLING.

- I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.
- COME ON!

- THAT IS SO CUTE!

- GOOD JOB.
MAKE SURE IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT.

HELLO. HI.
- HI, LISA, HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- DO ME A FAVOR.

GET FRANCIS OUT OF THE KITCHEN,
WILL YOU?

- OF COURSE.
- OKAY.

HOW WAS LUNCH?

- IT WAS BUSY.
- GOOD.

[sighs]
- LET ME GO GRAB HIM FOR YOU.

- I'D LOVE A CUP OF TEA AS WELL.

- CUP OF TEA?
- YEP.

- CREAM, SUGAR?
- MILK, 2%.

- HI, LISA.
- HEY!

- HOW ARE YOU?
VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- LIVING THE DREAM,
WAKING UP IN THE MORNING.

- ARE YOU?

- THAT'S ALL
I CAN ASK FOR, YEAH.

- WHAT'S THE DREAM?
- THE DREAM IS...

- I THOUGHT THE DREAM
WAS WAKING UP WITH BRANDI.

- WELL, YEAH.
- THAT'S ANOTHER DREAM.

SIT DOWN. WHAT'S GOING ON?

- YOU WANT TO ORDER
SOMETHING TO DRINK?

- NO, I'M JUST HAVING
A CUP OF TEA.

- I DO HAVE A GREAT SPECIAL
THAT I WANT YOU TO TRY.

- YOU DO?
BUT LET ME HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

- YOU GOT IT. DEFINITELY.

- OR A QUICK BITE.

- I'LL BRING IT BACK OUT.
YOU HAVE TO.

- OKAY, GOOD.
- MORE THAN ONE.

- OKAY.

- ROCIO.
- YES, MR. KEN?

- WE GOT TO HURRY UP.

SHE'LL BE HOME
IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR.

- OKAY.

- IN OUR NEW HOME, LISA'S BEEN
WORKING LIKE A TROJAN...

DESIGNING, ORDERING FABRICS.

I WANT TO SURPRISE HER
WITH JUST SOMETHING SPECIAL.

IT'S LOOKING GOOD.
- YEAH? YOU LIKE IT?

- YEAH.
- YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE NICE.

- THERE WE GO.

- OKEYDOKEY.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

- IT'S SUPER...
- HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE?

- I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.

- SO THIS IS JUST
ONE OF YOUR OWN INVENTIONS?

- THIS IS MY VERSION
OF A CALIFORNIA ROLL.

I'M USING BEEF...
LIKE, I FLATTENED THE BEEF.

AND THEN I ROLLED CRAB RISOTTO.

- MMM.

MMM.

I'M LOVING THIS.

- IT'S SO GOOD.
- MM-HMM.

I LOVE THAT. - ANY DESSERT?

- HOW ABOUT TEMPURA
BANANA SPLIT?

- I'M WEARING MY WHITE TROUSERS.
- OKAY.

- I LOOKED AT MY BUTT
THIS MORNING

AND THOUGHT, "THERE'S NO ROOM
FOR ANY BANANA SPLIT IN HERE."

- OKAY. THANK YOU.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- ARE WE GONNA SEE YOU TONIGHT
FOR DINNER?

- YEAH, I WILL BE IN TONIGHT.

I'LL BE IN TO HAVE
A QUICK MOSEY AROUND.

- YOU GOT IT. PLEASURE.
- ALL RIGHT.

- DO YOU THINK
SHE'S GONNA LIKE THIS?

- YEAH, SHE'S GONNA LOVE IT.

- I'M HOPING THAT MY PROJECT
WILL INSPIRE

SOME ROMANCE AS WELL.

THIS'LL BE A NICE SURPRISE
FOR HER, I THINK, DON'T YOU?

- YEAH. REALLY.

LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. [both laugh]

- WELL, SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL
AT HEART.

- YEAH.
- IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

LIKE, WITH THE FLOWERS,

IF SOME OF THEM ARE DROOPING,
TAKE THEM OUT.

TELL HER... IT'S ANGELA'S JOB...
TAKE THEM OUT,

BREAK THEM OFF,
AND PUT THEM BACK IN.

BUT I'VE GOT TO HAVE SOMEBODY
WHO'S ON IT.

LOOK AT THIS.
I MEAN, THAT SHOULDN'T BE THERE.

SHOULD IT? - NOPE.

- WELL, WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING IT?

NO, NO. OKAY, WE'RE ALL GOOD.

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN BUSY,
BUT THANK YOU.

- OF COURSE.
- BUT KEEP ON IT, PLEASE.

- WE GOT TO HURRY UP,

'CAUSE SHE'S GONNA BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.

- OKAY.

- AND I WANT TO GET CHANGED,

AND THEN PUT GIGGY
IN HIS PINK SUIT.

- HELLO? [door closes]

HELLO?

- IS THAT YOU, BABY? I'M HERE.

- HEY. HI.
- HOW WAS IT?

- IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS FINE.

ARE YOU TWO COORDINATED?
WHO GOT DRESSED FIRST?

HEY, JIG, YOU LITTLE SEXY MAN.

- I'VE GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU.

- GO ON, THEN,
DROP YOUR TROUSERS.

[chuckles] JUST KIDDING.

- YOU SAW THAT THIS MORNING.
OVER THIS WAY, BABY.

THIS WAY.

COME ON, DARLING.

- I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.
- COME ON, DARLING.

- I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.
- COME ON!

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

COME WITH ME.
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES.

- WHAT? NOW YOU'RE SCARING ME.
I DON'T LIKE IT.

- CLOSE YOUR EYES.
- NO, I'M OPENING THEM.

- JUMP!
- OKAY, THAT'S IT.

- I MADE A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.

- WHAT?
- THIS.

YOUR FAVORITE THING
IN THE WORLD.

- [laughing]

THAT IS SO CUTE!

- WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED,

WE USED TO HAVE AN OLD SWING
IN THE BACKYARD,

AND I USED TO PUSH HER.
AND SHE USED TO LOVE THAT.

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
SO HARD ON THE HOUSE, I...

- OH, I LOVE THIS!
THIS IS SO CUTE!

OH, MY GOD! OH, DID YOU DO THAT?

- YEAH, I DID THAT.

AND I DID THIS.
- OH, I LOVE THIS!

- SIT DOWN, BABY.

- THIS IS WHY I MARRIED YOU.
- SIT DOWN.

- I LOVE THIS.
- SIT DOWN.

- OKAY, PUSH ME.
- FOR SURE.

- WHEN DID YOU DO THIS?
I'VE ONLY BEEN GONE TWO HOURS.

- WELL, NO, YOU'VE BEEN GONE
ABOUT SIX HOURS.

- [laughing]

OH, MY GOD, JIG!

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

[laughing]

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!

- I MADE IT BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO
SO THAT...

- I LOVE IT.
- YOU CAN RIDE WITH JIG.

- I THOUGHT
WHEN THE CHILDREN LEFT HOME,

MAYBE WE WOULD TRY SWINGING.

I JUST DIDN'T THINK
IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT...
- OH, NO.

- YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS THIS YEAR?

- WHAT? TIME FOR THAT...

- IT'S OUR 30TH WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY.

- YES, I KNOW.
- SO...

- I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN.

- I THINK WE'RE GONNA DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

- LIKE WHAT?
- WE SHOULD RENEW OUR VOWS...

ON OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- OH, DARLING.

- WELL, YOU CAN RENEW YOURS
AT LEAST.

- [laughs]

DO WE HAVE TO DO THAT
CONSUMMATION THING AGAIN?

- WELL, OF COURSE. WHY NOT?

IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

PEOPLE SOMETIMES
DON'T LAST 30 MINUTES.

- IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT...
- YES?

- IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT...
- OH, GOOD.

IT'S A YES. IT'S A YES, JIG!

- THIS IS WHY I BLOODY LOVE YOU.

OKAY, PUSH ME AGAIN.

THIS IS GONNA BE
A FULL-TIME JOB FOR YOU.

- COMING UP...

- ADRIENNE AND PAUL ARE...

SUING ME.

- WHAT?

- I LOVE YOU, GIRLS!

DON'T FORGET
TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

HOW ARE YOU?

- VERY GOOD. YOURSELF?

- VERY WELL, THANK YOU.

TONIGHT MARISA AND I

ARE HAVING DINNER
AT A MOROCCAN RESTAURANT.

I WAS ACTUALLY
REALLY EMBARRASSED

ABOUT MY DINNER PARTY.

- DON'T JUST SPEW YOUR LIES.

YOU JUST THROW THINGS
OUT THERE AT RANDOM,

WHERE YOU JUST... YOU KNOW
YOU GET BACKED IN A CORNER,

AND YOU JUST SAY THINGS.
- I'M GONNA LEAVE.

- I WANT HER TO SEE
ANOTHER SIDE OF THE GIRLS,

BECAUSE SO FAR,

WHAT SHE'S SEEN
IS PRETTY RIDICULOUS.

- HELLO?
- HI!

I JUST WANTED TO WARN YOU
THAT WE'RE SITTING ON THE FLOOR.

IT'S A RESTAURANT
WHERE YOU SIT ON THE FLOOR.

- I FIGURED
THAT THAT WOULD BE THE CASE,

BECAUSE
IT'S AN INDIAN RESTAURANT.

- MOROCCAN.
- ARE YOU WEARING PANTS, RIGHT?

- I DECIDED TO WEAR
A LONG DRESS...

'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW IF
I'D BE UNCOMFORTABLE IN PANTS.

IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE
IN THE PANTS,

YOU'RE FINE LIKE THAT.

EACH TIME I INCLUDE KIM
IN A DINNER,

MY FIRST WORRY IS ALWAYS
THAT SHE'S NOT GONNA SHOW UP.

AND THEN WHEN SHE DOES SHOW UP,
I'M JUST HOPING WE DON'T FIGHT.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH, KY.
- OKAY, LOVE YOU. BYE.

- I LOVE YOU TOO.

- HELLO?
- [British accent] HELLO.

[normal voice]
I WANTED TO REMIND YOU

THAT WE'RE GONNA BE SITTING
ON THE FLOOR,

SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO WEAR
A REALLY SHORT SKIRT

AND SKIP THE UNDERWEAR TONIGHT.

- [speaks indistinctly]

[both laughing]

AND I SUPPOSE ADRIENNE'S
STILL M.I.A.?

- ADRIENNE AND PAUL
ARE IN NEW YORK, SO...

YOU KNOW, THAT OBVIOUSLY
WOULD'VE BEEN AWKWARD...

THE WHOLE BRANDI SITUATION.

SO THAT SAVED US
ANY AWKWARDNESS.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN, DARLING.
WELL, I WILL SEE YOU LATER.

- TA-TA!
- BYE!

- OKAY, BYE, PAULIE.

I SAW YOU DRIVE UP, SO...
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!

- THANK YOU!
- I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS DRESS.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

- YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

- OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THAT.

OKAY.

- SO HOLD ON...
- KIM IS COMING TONIGHT.

- OH, GOOD.
SO I'LL GET TO MEET HER.

- YOU'VE NEVER MET KIM?
- NO.

NO, BECAUSE WHEN YOU AND I
WERE HANGING OUT,

SHE WAS LIVING IN THE DESERT.

- OH, MY GOSH.
- SO I'VE NEVER MET HER.

- I NEVER REALIZED
YOU DIDN'T MEET KIM.

- MM-MM.
ARE YOU AND KIM CLOSE NOW OR...?

- KIM AND ME...
LIKE, WE WILL GET ALONG GREAT,

WE'LL LAUGH AND HAVE FUN.
- YEAH.

- AND OTHER TIMES,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

- MY SISTER... SHE ACTS
LIKE MY PARENTS SOMETIMES.

THAT'S WHAT I DO. - YEAH.

- AND KIM DOESN'T LIKE THAT.

- YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL,
BECAUSE...

THE SHE WON'T WANT TO
SHARE ANYTHING WITH YOU.

- TOO LATE.

[both laughing]

WE'RE HOSTING THE DINNER
IN THE PRIVATE ROOM.

THANK YOU.

- OH, MY GOD, THIS IS GREAT.
- PERFECT!

- LOOK HOW BIG IT IS.

- OH, MY GOD, WE COULD'VE JUST
DONE THIS AT MOHAMMED'S HOUSE.

OKAY, SO LET'S PUT OUT
THE PLACE CARDS.

- OKAY, SO...
WAIT. HOW ARE YOU PLACING?

- I KNOW PEOPLE SOMETIMES LIKE
TO SEPARATE HUSBANDS AND WIVES,

BUT I LIKE TO SIT
WITH MY HUSBAND.

- OKAY.

NO, I GET IT. I AGREE.

- HOW DOES THAT LOOK NEXT TO IT?

- HELLO.
- HEY!

- HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU GUYS?

- YOU HAVE, LIKE, A DIFFERENT
LOOK EVERY TIME I SEE YOU.

- I'M TRYING.
- OH, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

- THE RED LIPSTICK.
- I'M TRYING NEW THINGS.

- IT LOOKS GOOD.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU GUYS TOO.

- AND YOUR HAIR
LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

- I WANTED A MOROCCAN OUTFIT,
AND I WAS JUST...

- THIS WAS LAST-MINUTE.
I HAD IT IN MY CLOSET.

MY SISTER WAS OVER, AND
I WAS TRYING ON ANOTHER DRESS.

- OH, SURE, YOU DID.
- NO, I DID.

- "I JUST THREW
THIS OLD THING ON."

- THIS OLD THING.
- NO.

- WE'RE ALL SO PRETTY.
- YEAH. THANK YOU!

- THIS IS PAUL, MARISA.

YOU HAVE A PAUL TOO? YOUR PAUL.

- THAT'S MY PAUL.
- NOT THAT PAUL.

- THAT'S MY BROTHER PAUL.

- TRUST ME, I KNOW.
MY LAWYER TOLD ME.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- I HAD TO GET A LAWYER TODAY.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- WHAT HAPPENED? WAIT. SIT DOWN.

I WANT TO HEAR THIS.

- ADRIENNE AND PAUL ARE...

SUING ME.

- WHAT?

- I MEAN, THEY WANT
MY LEASED HOUSE?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.
- YEAH.

- ADRIENNE HAS HIRED A LAWYER
WHO'S THREATENING TO SUE ME

IF I DON'T GO TO A MEETING
AND SIGN A PIECE OF PAPER

SAYING THAT I WON'T TALK ABOUT
HER AND HER FAMILY EVER AGAIN.

IS SHE SUING ME?
IS SHE THREATENING TO SUE ME?

IS SHE... DID I HAVE TO HIRE
A LAWYER TO DEFEND MYSELF?

I DID.

BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I CAN DO MOVING FORWARD

EXCEPT TO APOLOGIZE,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- MM-HMM.
- YEAH.

I DON'T THINK YOU FEEL
VERY INSPIRED

TO CALL AND APOLOGIZE NOW.

- THEY WANT ME TO GO
TO A MEETING ON FRIDAY.

IF I DON'T GO,
I'LL BE SERVED WITH PAPERS.

AND SO I GOT A LAWYER TODAY,
AND I SPENT $2,000.

I ALREADY HAVE LAWYERS' BILLS
UP THE WAZOO FROM MY EX.

- RIGHT.

- UM, IT JUST MAKES ME
VERY NERVOUS.

- HELLO. HI.

- OH, THERE'S YOLANDA.
- HEY, SEXY MAMA!

- CHEERS.
- OKAY, CHEERS.

- CHEERS. CHEERS.
CHEERS. I KNOW.

- HELLO! LET ME SEE YOU!

MAMA! - MWAH!

- HELLO! HI, GIRLS.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

I ALWAYS GET NERVOUS LATELY

TO GO TO SEE... YOU KNOW,
MY SISTER'S GONNA BE THERE.

AND THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN THAT
GREAT WITH MY SISTER LATELY.

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN BAD.

THEY JUST HAVEN'T BEEN... GOOD.

- WHAT A GOOD IDEA!
- RIGHT?

- PERFECT! HI.

YOU LOOK PRETTY.
- THANK YOU. SO DO YOU.

- HI, KIM. I'M MARISA.

- HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAVEN'T MET.

WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR...

- 'CAUSE I'VE KNOW KYLE FOREVER,
BUT I NEVER MET YOU.

- WHAT'S IN YOUR HAIR?
- HOW ARE YOU GUYS?

- HI.

- IS DIMITRI COMING?

- NO, HE'S IN DALLAS
WITH HIS SON.

- AW.
- YEAH, HE'S...

- I MEAN, BAD, BUT GOOD.
- YEAH, DADDY DUTY.

- DADDY DUTY.

- HI, BABY.
- YEAH, I WANT THOSE TOO.

- HI! I DIDN'T EVEN
RECOGNIZE HIM.

HI, BABY! - HI, I'M PAUL.

- I'M CAMILLE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- THIS IS MY BROTHER PAUL.
- HI.

HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- DID YOU SAY HI TO MAURICE?
- YEAH.

- MAURICE IS RIGHT THERE.
- PLEASURE.

- HOW ARE YOU, KIM?
- I'M GOOD.

- HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?
- IT WAS GOOD.

- IT WAS GOOD?
- YEAH, I HAD A GOOD WEEK.

- YOU LOOK GREAT...
- THANK YOU. YOU TOO.

- AND HEALTHY AND HAPPY.
- I FEEL IT, FEEL GOOD.

- I ACTUALLY WAS OUT
WITH YOLANDA AT HER HOUSE...

- OH, MY GOD.
- WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU.

- WAITING FOR ME?

- WELL, YOU GUYS
WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET

TO DO THE MASTER CLEANSE THING.

SO I WENT OUT THERE,
AND WE DID IT TOGETHER.

- OH, HOW DID THAT GO?
HOW DID THAT GO?

- SHE SENT ME
THE BOOKLET FOR YOU.

- WHEN WAS I SUPPOSED TO COME
TO YOUR HOUSE?

- DON'T TELL ME LIKE...

OF COURSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO COME.

- NO.

WHEN WAS I SUPPOSED TO COME
TO YOUR HOUSE?

- WE PINKIE SWORE, YOU AND I,

THAT WE WERE GONNA DO
THE MASTER CLEANSE TOGETHER.

REMEMBER?

- YEAH, BUT WE HAVEN'T MADE
A DATE ON IT.

WHEN WAS I SUPPOSED TO COME
TO YOUR HOUSE?

[clicks tongue]

I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO COME
TO YOUR HOUSE.

- YEAH, WE MADE A DATE,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

WE DIDN'T MAKE PLANS ONCE.
WE MADE IT THREE TIMES.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T JUST
SUCK THAT OUT OF MY THUMB.

BUT, YOU KNOW...

- I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
I CAN'T DO THAT.

- YOU CAN'T DO
THE MASTER CLEANSE ANYMORE?

- NO.
- WHY?

- JUST BECAUSE... I CAN'T.
- WHY?

YOU SAY THAT. LET US KNOW WHY.

- WELL, NO, I MEAN,
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

IT'S JUST... MY BODY IS NOT...

I'M SUPPOSED TO EAT,

AND NOT TO EAT WOULD NOT BE
GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

- WHY?

- FOR MY METABOLISM AND MY BODY.

IT'S JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA. - OH.

- SHE MAY NOT WANT TO EXPECT
TOO MUCH FROM MY SISTER KIM.

- I JUST... I CAN'T.

COMING UP...

- SHE SAID SOMETHING.

SHE'S ADMITTING SHE'S WRONG.

- TO EVERYBODY EXCEPT
FOR ADRIENNE.

I MEAN, I THINK IT'S EVEN STUPID

THAT WE'RE EVEN
TALKING ABOUT THIS.

THAT'S THE REALITY.
- LET ME [bleep] TALK!

- YOU KNOW,
WITH THE CAYENNE PEPPER,

THAT GETS YOUR VEINS PUMPING.

[bells jingling]

OH, HI.

IS SHE FLIRTING WITH ME?

[bells jingling, clapping]
- OH, I CAN DO THIS.

[indistinct talking]

- OH, WOW.

- YOU KNOW, I WAS MARRIED
TO AN ARAB MAN.

I LOVE BELLY DANCERS.

IT'S A BIG PART
OF THE ARABIC CULTURE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
THERE YOU GO.

- KYLE... I KNOW KYLE CAN DO THIS.

- YOU'RE GONNA GET
IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, GIRL.

- I ONLY TAKE 100s.

HONEY, IF THAT WAS
ANY LESS THAN 100,

DON'T BOTHER ME.

I CAN DO THAT.

- YOU GOT TO BE REALLY HEALTHY

BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTERS
NEED YOU AROUND, YOU KNOW?

- YOU SHOULD COME WORK OUT
WITH ME TOMORROW.

IT'LL BE FUN. - YEAH, I WILL.

- I'VE HAD MY TRAINER
FOR NINE YEARS.

SHE'S AMA... - THE SAME PERSON?

- YEAH.

- WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE DINNER,

AND KIM DECIDES SHE WANTS
TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH ME.

- I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU.
- NO, YOU DIDN'T!

YOU MISSED THE FLIGHT.
YOU MISSED THE BOAT.

YOU MISSED THE BUS.

WHATEVER THE THING...
AND THEN YOU GET MAD AT ME.

FOR SO MANY YEARS,
I WANTED KIM TO APOLOGIZE

FOR THE HURT THAT SHE CAUSED
MY FAMILY AND ME

WITH HER DRINKING.

- I'M NOT GONNA GO BACK
TO YESTERDAY OR WHY... WHATEVER.

WE'RE HERE, SO...

- WELL, IT'S BULL[bleep].
- I'M RIGHT HERE.

- IT'S NOT BULL[bleep].
- IT IS BULL[bleep].

- OKAY.

- AND HER APOLOGIZING TO ME,

IF SHE DOESN'T STAY SOBER,

DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING,
DOES IT?

AND I'M SORRY
I DON'T HANDLE THINGS

AS WELL AS I SHOULD SOMETIMES.

- DO WE HAVE A WAITER?

- [laughing]

- SHE GOES,
"DO WE HAVE A WAITER?"

- I KNOW, RIGHT?

- MM. LISER!

- WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
CALL ME THAT?

- THEY NEED SOME ASS-KICKING
GOING ON BACK THERE,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE TO DO IT.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?

- GO BACK THERE
AND KICK SOME VILLA BLANCA ASS.

- THAT DOESN'T CURE IT
OVERNIGHT, THOUGH.

THAT'S WHAT I REALIZED.
AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

AND I REALIZED IT DOESN'T.

- I UNDERSTAND THAT.

- WHEN I DO SEE YOU,
MAYBE I AM COLD...

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN HURT.

AM I 100% CONVINCED
SHE'LL STAY SOBER?

NO, NOT YET.

THAT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME.

[indistinct background
conversation]

- YOU KNOW?

I JUST NEED YOU TO...

I WANT TO EXPLORE
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH MY SISTER,

AND WE NEED
TO BECOME FRIENDS AGAIN.

WE HAVE TO START THERE.

WE NEED TO BE SISTERS AGAIN.

- I AGREE.

- THANK YOU, SIR. OW!

- OW, THAT'S NICE.
NOW WE'RE TALKING.

THERE IS NOT A LOT
OF ARABIC CULTURE

GOING ON HERE AT ALL.

- I CAN'T EAT THIS
WITH MY FINGERS.

I CAVE. GIVE ME A FLIPPIN' FORK.
- I WILL.

- WOW, IT'S HOT.

HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT.

- [laughing]

- YOLANDA,
WHERE'S DAVID TONIGHT?

- HE'S WITH BARBARA STREISAND
TONIGHT.

- OH, HOW FUN.
- SHE WAS AT THE HOUSE.

THEY WERE REHEARSING
FOR AN EVENT NEXT WEEK.

- YOU KNOW THAT KIM AND I
DID A MOVIE WITH HER HUSBAND?

WE PLAYED SISTERS IN A MOVIE...

JAMES BROLIN.

HE'S SO HANDSOME.

I EVEN KNEW HE WAS HANDSOME
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

REMEMBER HOW HANDSOME HE WAS?
- I NEVER THOUGHT HE WAS.

NO, JUST JOKING.
- HONEY, I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD.

MY GOD. - HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

- JEALOUS?

- NOW THAT I'M READY TO DATE,
GET OUT THERE AND FIND ME A KEN.

- THEY DON'T EXIST.
- OR A LISA.

- [laughing] ARE YOU A LESBIAN?

ARE YOU A LESBIAN FOR LISA?
- YOU WILL MEET SOMEBODY.

YOU WILL, BUT IT'S... - LISER.

- FOR ME, IT'S TAKEN SOME TIME,
NOT BECAUSE...

I DON'T WANT SOMEONE IN MY LIFE,

BUT BECAUSE I HAVE
AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT

OF FEELING LIKE... IT STILL FEELS
LIKE CHEATING TO ME...

IN A WEIRD WAY,

LIKE I SHOULDN'T BE
WITH SOMEONE YET.

- IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T...

YOU CAN'T CARRY THE GUILT
FOR WHAT HE'S DONE.

THAT WAS HIS CHOICE.

- IT'S OKAY
FOR YOU TO GO AND DATE.

IT'S NOT A BAD THING. - YES.

- NO, BUT THERE'S A GUILT
THAT'S ASSOCIATED WITH IT.

- I WAS GUN-SHY
IN THE BEGINNING TOO.

- I UNDERSTAND,
BUT YOU SHOULDN'T.

- BUT YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T,
'CAUSE IT DOES HELP.

- BUT I FEEL,
IN A WAY, BECAUSE HE'S GONE...

- YOU'RE CARRYING THE GUILT.
- AND I...

- WELL, BECAUSE OF THE WAY
IT HAPPENED.

- LOVED HIM.
- I KNOW.

AND IT WAS THE WAY IT HAPPENED.

- AND I HATE HIM
AT THE SAME TIME.

AND I'M MAD AT HIM.

AND HE LIED TO ME.

- BECAUSE HE DID
THE MOST SELFISH ACT...

HE DID THE MOST SELFISH ACT
A PERSON CAN DO...

IS TAKE ONE'S LIFE.
- HE LIED TO ME.

AND HE'S LIED TO EVERYONE
IN HIS LIFE.

AND I FOUGHT ALL THOSE BATTLES
FOR HIS LIES

FOR ALL THIS TIME.

MY DAUGHTER STILL GOES, "MOMMY,
CAN WE GO ON OUR PLANE AGAIN?"

AND I'M LIKE,
"BABY, THERE'S NO PLANE."

SO MUCH OF MY LIFE
WAS NOTHING BUT A BIG LIE

THAT IT'S ALMOST BETTER
THAT IT'S GONE,

AND I'M OKAY WITH IT.
- WELL, YOU'RE STARTING FRESH.

ANEW.

- NEW LIFE!
- NEW LIFE.

- I SETTLED MY LAWSUIT.
- YOU DID?

CONGRATULATIONS!
OH, THAT'S JUST SO AWESOME.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU
THAT THAT'S OVER.

- IT'S OVER.
I GET TO GO BACK TO BE, LIKE...

- YOU GET TO BREATHE,

AND NOW YOU CAN START
LIVING YOUR LIFE AGAIN.

- I KNOW.
IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR.

- YOU'RE STARTING OVER,
AND I'M STARTING OUT.

- STARTING OUT WITH... OH.

COURT.
- I'M TALKING ABOUT ADRIENNE.

- YOU OBVIOUSLY THINK
IT'S WRONG, WHAT BRANDI SAID.

BUT WITH THAT SAID, IT'S DONE.

SO WHAT IS SHE SUING FOR NOW?

I MEAN, WHAT DOES BRANDI HAVE
THAT SHE CAN GET?

- WELL, I THINK IT'S
TO INTIMIDATE HER.

LIKE, TO SAY,
"DON'T TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN."

- I DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT
ADRIENNE'S INTIMIDATING BRANDI

WITH HER FINANCIAL POWER.

- GETTING LAWYERS IS...
- RIDICULOUS.

- WHEN YOU CAN'T HANDLE
A DISCUSSION.

- YOURSELF, YEAH.

- IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE
THE DISCUSSION,

YOU CALL THE LAWYER, SO I MEAN...

- WOULD YOU EVER?
- NO, NEVER. EVER. NEVER.

- SHE DOESN'T OWN ANYTHING.
SHE'S TRYING TO SURVIVE HERSELF.

SUE FOR WHAT?

I MEAN, WE KNOW ADRIENNE'S COME
FROM A KIND OF FAMILY OF MONEY.

WHAT IS SHE DOING?

SHE ALREADY SPENT $2,000 TODAY

JUST TO SIT DOWN
AND WRITE A LETTER.

- AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE
THAT MONEY.

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES,
BUT IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS...

- EVERYBODY'S MADE MISTAKES.
WE'VE ALL SAID THINGS.

- BUT IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS
TO SAY SOMETHING,

THEN YOU ALSO
GOT TO HAVE THE BALLS

TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL

AND SAY, "HEY, I [bleep] UP.
I MADE A MISTAKE.

LET'S HAVE A COFFEE.
LET'S TALK IT OUT."

- AND I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
SAID IT, AND I GET THAT,

AND I UNDERSTAND THAT
FULLY AND COMPLETELY.

- RIGHT, BUT IT DIDN'T NEED
TO BE SAID.

- NO, OF COURSE.
YOU'RE RIGHT, AND I...

- AND THAT'S THE REALITY.

- HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID

THAT I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID IT?

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID
IF I'M GONNA SAY SORRY...

I HAD THIS CONVERSATION
WITH FAYE AND EVERYONE ELSE.

IF I'M GONNA SAY SORRY,
I'M GONNA SAY IT TO ADRIENNE

AT THIS POINT, BUT NOW...

- HAVE YOU SAID IT TO ADRIENNE?

- WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD
A CHANCE TO.

HER LAWYER...
THEY'RE SUING ME NOW.

- [sighs] I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE A FIGHT,

SO I'M NOT GONNA
GET INVOLVED WITH THIS.

- BUT I'VE HEARD
FROM EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE...

EVERY ACTUALLY PERSON HERE...
THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT.

- EXCEPT FOR ME.

- I KNOW THIS IS
A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT.

YOU'VE ALREADY ADMITTED
THAT YOU ARE WRONG

FOR SAYING WHAT YOU SAID.

I THINK THEY'RE JUST SAYING
THAT... JUST CALL HER MAYBE.

- I'VE TRIED TO CALL HER,

AND THEN HER LAWYER
GAVE US A LETTER.

- WELL, YOU CAN CALL EVEN
IF YOU GET AN ATTORNEY'S LETTER.

- YES, 'CAUSE IT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT THEY'RE REALLY PURSUING...

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I'VE RECEIVED ATTORNEY'S LETTERS
FOR A LOT OF THINGS.

I PICKED UP THE PHONE,
I MADE THE PHONE CALL,

AND THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER
WENT AWAY IN TWO SECONDS.

THAT'S THE REALITY... I MEAN,
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES.

- NOW, HOLD ON A SECOND.

WASN'T IT ADRIENNE
THAT SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN

"FRIENDS DON'T SUE FRIENDS,"
RIGHT?

- THAT WAS WHAT UPSET ME,

IS, LIKE, I THOUGHT
THAT IT WAS A BIG DEAL

WHEN IT WAS MY [bleep]
COMING OUT IN THE GROUP.

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHEN IT'S HER STUFF,

IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT
BALL GAME,

AND EVERYBODY
SHOULD REACT DIFFERENTLY.

AND MY STUFF WAS
A LITTLE BIT MORE HEAVY.

YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT PHYSICAL ABUSE,

AND THERE'S A DEAD MAN INVOLVED.

- YOU HAD NO CHOICE.

- SHE ACTUALLY
DID HAVE A CHOICE.

SHE COULD'VE WALKED AWAY.

SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO STAY
IN THAT MARRIAGE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, KIM?

- NOTHING, TAYLOR.

- I'VE ALWAYS SUPPORTED YOU,
SO DON'T RIGHT NOW.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'M NOT TALKING...

I'M JUST WATCHING YOU, TAYLOR.
- WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE?

- I JUST WANT TO GET THE [bleep]
OUT OF HERE.

- NO, NO, NO. DON'T...

'CAUSE YOU ALWAYS WALK OUT.
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

- JUST OVERALL, I CAN'T.
- DON'T! DON'T DO THIS.

DON'T DO THIS.

- CALL HER UP AND SAY...

EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T ANSWER YOU
THE FIRST TIME, YOU CALL AGAIN.

YOU KEEPING CALLING HER
UNTIL YOU SAY...

YOU LEAVE MESSAGES.

SAY, "IT'S BRANDI.
I WANT TO HAVE A FACE-TO-FACE."

- I MEAN,
I THINK IT'S EVEN STUPID

THAT WE'RE EVEN
TALKING ABOUT THIS.

THAT'S THE REALITY.
- I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS ANYMORE.

I'M NOT GONNA CRY,
AND I'M NOT GONNA WALK AWAY.

I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW.

AND WE'RE GONNA SIT HERE.

WE'RE NOT GONNA CRY,
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA WALK AWAY.

- I JUST DON'T APPRECIATE
ALL THIS.

- AND WE'RE GONNA BE
SINGLE WOMEN

WHO CAN GET THROUGH
WHATEVER WE'RE DEALT WITH.

AND THAT'S THE WAY
IT'S GONNA GO!

LISTEN!

- WE DON'T HAVE
THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

- WE'RE NOT GONNA WALK AWAY.

WE DON'T HAVE
THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

THAT EVERYBODY ELSE HAS.

- WE DON'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT THAT EVERYBODY ELSE HAS.

SO WE HAVE TO BE STRONG.
- WE'RE GONNA DO THIS.

- WE OWE THAT TO OURSELVES.
- TOTALLY.

- MM-HMM.

- WHY DID SHE SAY IT?
- I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE SAID IT.

- WHY DID SHE SAY IT?
- I DON'T KNOW!

- TO CREATE [bleep].

- IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHY SHE SAID IT, SHE SAID IT.

- OF COURSE IT MATTERS
WHY IT WAS SAID.

- WHY?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY?

'CAUSE YOU'RE EITHER A GOSSIPER
OR YOU'RE NOT A GOSSIPER.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

- OH, THAT'S BULL[bleep],
MAURICIO.

- WHAT?
- WHAT HAPPENED?

- THAT'S BULL[bleep].
- GO AHEAD.

- SHE SAID IT IN CONVERSATION.

- RIGHT, SO... TO BE NICE.

- BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHY SHE SAID IT.

- OH, SHE SAID IT TO BE A THR...

SHE WAS... SHE WANTED
TO BE PLEASANT.

- BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
SHE SAID IT.

- IF THE GUYS START FIGHTING,
REALLY,

THEN WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

- SHE SAID IT.
- WHY?

- IT DOESN'T MATTER.
- JUST TO BE NICE.

- IT'S THE TRUTH.
IT'S THE TRUTH. SHE SAID IT.

- WHY DID SHE SAY IT?
DID YOU SAY IT TO BE NICE?

- NO, I SAID IT BECAUSE...
I WILL TELL YOU.

- SHE JUST SAID IT.
- BECAUSE I...

KYLE ASKED ME A QUESTION,
AND I'M HONEST.

- 'CAUSE IT WAS A MISTAKE.

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE [bleep] TALKING ABOUT.

- COMING UP...
- GO [bleep] YOURSELF!

IT'S ABOUT MY KIDS,
AND IT'S ABOUT MY LIFE!

- RIGHT.
- SERIOUSLY!

SO JUST SHUT THE [bleep] UP!

- DID YOU SAY IT TO BE NICE?

- NO, I SAID IT BECAUSE...
I WILL TELL YOU.

- SHE JUST SAID IT.
- BECAUSE I...

KYLE ASKED ME A QUESTION,
AND I'M HONEST.

- 'CAUSE IT WAS A MISTAKE.

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE [bleep] TALKING ABOUT.

- PICK UP THE PHONE.
- REALLY? HOW IS THAT?

I HAVE NOT TALKED TO...
- YOU HAVEN'T TRIED!

- YES, I HAVE.

- REALLY?
- YES.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE
A GOOD NIGHT,

AND IT WENT TO HELL
IN A HANDBAG.

WELCOME TO BEVERLY HILLS.
[chuckles]

- OKAY.

- MAURICIO, WHEN YOU'RE
BEING SUED BY SOMEBODY,

MAYBE YOU DON'T
WANT TO PICK UP THE PHONE,

BECAUSE YOUR LAWYER SAYS,
"DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE."

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN
TO YOUR ATTORNEY.

- WHY?
- HAVE COMMON SENSE.

- SO STRANGE FOR TWO MEN

TO START YELLING AND SCREAMING
AT EACH OTHER

OVER A WOMAN'S ISSUE.

GO HAVE A BEER SOMEWHERE.

- YOU'RE ALLOWED TO PICK
UP THE PHONE...

- THAT'S YOU, THAT'S YOU.
- AND CREATE YOUR OWN ACTIONS.

- NO, BUT THAT'S YOU.

YOU'RE A MAN.
YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

- BUT MAYBE SHE WAS TOLD BY...

- WOMEN ARE AS STRONG
AS MEN, OKAY?

I HAVE FOUR DAUGHTERS,
AND THEY HAVE AMAZING BRAINS.

- EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.

SHE'S GOT NO MAN PROTECTING HER.

SHE'S DIVORCED, AND SUDDENLY
SOMEBODY'S SUING HER.

- OKAY.
- WHAT DOES SHE DO?

- PICK UP THE PHONE
AND CALL AND APOLOGIZE.

- WHY?

- 'CAUSE EVERYBODY
THAT'S TALKING TO HER

IS TELLING HER TO DO THAT.

- ADRIENNE'S
NEVER SAID SORRY TO ME...

NOT EVER. - ABOUT WHAT?

- ABOUT... THERE'S A PLETHORA
OF THINGS.

- OKAY, SO THAT'S... SO WHY
DON'T YOU PICK UP THE PHONE

AND SAY, "ADRIENNE,
YOU KNOW WHAT"...

- WHY SHOULD SHE?

- WHY SHOULD SHE PICK UP
THE PHONE?

- I'LL TELL YOU WHY...

BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT STARTED IT ALL.

- I AM?
- WELL, ACTUALLY...

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME
THAT BRANDI'S MADE...

SAID THINGS THAT...
WELL, IN MY CASE,

HONESTLY, I'VE HAD SOMETHING
SAID ABOUT ME THAT'S UNTRUE.

AND YOU'VE DONE IT
A COUPLE TIMES.

SO NOT... AND I'M...

- WELL, IT WASN'T UNTRUE.
IT WAS INCORRECT.

YEAH, NO, I MEAN,
HONESTLY THERE WAS A PROBLEM.

- BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE,
BRANDI.

- BUT YOU WERE ATTACKING ME.
- WHAT YOU SAID WAS UNTRUE.

- YOU WERE ATTACKING ME
BEFORE THAT.

- THAT'S THE...
THE POINT IS WHAT I'M SAYING...

YOU JUST DON'T THROW THINGS OUT
ABOUT PEOPLE.

- DUDE!

ADRIENNE STARTED IT WITH ME.
I DIDN'T START IT WITH HER.

PERIOD.

- HOPEFULLY,
WE LEARN FROM THESE THINGS...

THAT WE JUST DON'T THROW THINGS
OUT ABOUT PEOPLE.

WE TRY TO, LIKE, DEAL
WITH THINGS IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

- WELL, EXCUSE ME.

WHEN YOU SAY WE DON'T THROW
THINGS OUT ABOUT THINGS...

SO WHERE WAS EVERYBODY
WHEN ADRIENNE STARTED SAYING,

"YOU'RE SELLING STORIES"?

I'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY
SOLD STORY IN MY LIFE.

- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT
FOR A MINUTE.

- AND I WON'T BE ACCUSED
OF THAT.

I THINK THAT'S SUCH
A [bleep] INSULT.

WELL, DID EVERYBODY JUMP
TO MY DEFENSE?

NO. EVERYBODY WAS REALLY QUIET.

SO SHE... IT'S OKAY FOR HER...
- WAIT A MINUTE.

WHO GIVES A [bleep]
ABOUT SELLING STORIES?

- I GIVE A [bleep].

- YOU REALLY GIVE A [bleep]
ABOUT THAT?

- YEAH, IT'S STILL
YOUR INTEGRITY.

I CARE ABOUT THAT. - WHO CARES?

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
LET ME [bleep] TALK!

I DID SAY THAT! I DID SAY IT.

AND WAS I PISSED?

MOTHER[bleep],
YES, I WAS PISSED.

SO GO [bleep] YOURSELF!

IT'S ABOUT MY KIDS,
AND IT'S ABOUT MY LIFE!

- RIGHT, AND YOU...
- SERIOUSLY!

- AND YOU DESERVE ALL OF THAT.
- SO JUST SHUT THE [bleep] UP!

- WHO'S READY FOR DESSERT?

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- THIS ONE.
- UH-HUH!

- I LOVE IT. AND HOW MUCH IS IT?

- $14,000.

- THE PAINTING IS NOT WORTH
$14,000 TO ME.

- WHOA!

- I THOUGHT THAT WOULD LOOK
AMAZING ON YOUR BAR.

- I DON'T LIKE IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT WAS
A PEACE OFFERING OR NOT.

- IF YOU WANT,
WE COULD TASTE IT NOW.

- I DON'T WANT TO TASTE IT NOW.
I'M GOING.

- JUST WITH BRANDI, I THINK
IT WENT A LITTLE TOO FAR.

SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, OUT OF LINE.

IF SHE HAS AN ISSUE WITH ME,
THEN CONFRONT ME FACE-TO-FACE.

- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,