The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 3, Episode 8 - Vanderpump Rules - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING
TO YOU VERY QUICKLY HERE, OKAY?

- OH, WOW, LIKE... OOH, OKAY.

- LET ME BE VERY CLEAR WITH YOU.

I WAS LEFT WITH $700,000 IN DEBT

AND A $1.5 MILLION LAWSUIT.

I HAD A ONE-BOOK DEAL.

- BRANDI'S ON HER WAY,
AND I DON'T WANT YOU

TO RUN INTO HER NOW, SO...

- OKAY, BUT DO YOU THINK
IT WOULD BE OKAY

IF MAYBE I STAYED
AND TALKED TO HER?



- OH, GOD, NOT NOW. NOT NOW, NO.

- I KNOW THAT
YOU DON'T LIKE ADRIENNE,

BUT HOLD ON A SECOND...

- NO, NO, THAT'S...
SEE, THAT, AGAIN...

THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- BUT IT IS FAIR

'CAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS THE WAY
YOU'RE DEFENDING WITH BRANDI

WITH THE SITUATION.
- OH, MY GOD.

- WHAT WAS DONE TO YOU, THOUGH,

THAT YOU'RE SO UPSET ABOUT?

- BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE HER SIDE
ON CERTAIN SITUATIONS,

SHE DECIDED I WAS
ENEMY NUMBER ONE.

- YOU JUST CAN'T BE MAKING
THESE, LIKE,

RANDOM ALLEGATIONS.

[upbeat music]



- LIFE ISN'T ALL
DIAMONDS AND ROSE,

BUT IT SHOULD BE.

- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS,

IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.

- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS,

SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.

- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE

TO GO HOME NOW.

- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,

BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.

- LIFE IS A JOURNEY,

AND I'M FINDING MYSELF
EVERY DAY.

- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.

THIS IS MY TOWN.

- WHAT I'VE SEEN
FROM YOU, BRANDI,

IS A LOT
OF REALLY CRUEL BEHAVIOR.

- OKAY.

- AND I JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

I THINK YOU HAVE
TO VICIOUSLY ATTACK PEOPLE.

- I DON'T VICIOUSLY
ATTACK PEOPLE.

- WELL, YOU DO.
- I DON'T.

- YOU VICIOUSLY ATTACKED KIM
LAST YEAR.

- NO, I DON'T. NO, I DIDN'T.

- YOU VICIOUSLY ATTACKED
ADRIENNE THIS YEAR.

YOU JUST THROW THINGS
OUT THERE AT RANDOM

WHERE YOU JUST... YOU KNOW,
YOU GET BACKED IN A CORNER,

AND YOU JUST SAY THINGS.

- I'M GONNA LEAVE.

- AND I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR

WHAT YOU'RE GONNA START SAYING
ABOUT ME NEXT.

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.

WHY WOULD I TALK ABOUT YOU?
- REALLY, REALLY?

I'M SURE YOU DON'T, LOVE.

- NORMALLY, I WOULD FIGHT BACK.

I WOULD STAND UP, I WOULD YELL,

I WOULD DO...
I WOULD DEFEND MYSELF.

BUT I'M JUST THINKING, "AAH!"

[crying]

- LISA, YOU KNOW I CAN'T HELP
FROM TELLING THE TRUTH.

YOU KNOW THAT'S MY NATURE.

- I DON'T KNOW

WHY FAYE HAS MADE THIS
HER PERSONAL BUSINESS.

I DON'T THINK IT IS.

AND FAYE HOPPING ON
ISN'T GONNA HELP MATTERS.

WELL, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD
STOP HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES?

- CAN YOU TELL GLENN TO BRING
THE NEXT COURSE OUT?

FAYE JUST FEELS VERY
DEFENSIVE OF ADRIENNE.

SHE'S NOT TRYING TO HURT BRANDI.

- I-I CANNOT DO THIS.

I CANNOT RELIVE

WHAT WE'VE ALREADY
BEEN THROUGH BEFORE.

I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
I CAN'T, I CAN'T.

AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW FAYE.
I DON'T.

- I AGREE WITH BRANDI.

I UNDERSTAND SHE FEELS BAD,

AND ADRIENNE PROBABLY
FEELS, YOU KNOW,

IS UPSET AND ALL OF THIS.

BUT SHE WANTS
MORE TIME TO GO BY,

SO SHE CAN CLEAR HER HEAD

BEFORE THEY GET TOGETHER
AND HAVE, YOU KNOW,

A MEETING OF THE MINDS.

- IF SHE'S GOT AN OPINION
OF WHAT'S GONE DOWN,

WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL NOW,

AND SO IF SHE WANTS TO TELL YOU,

THEN THAT'S UP TO HER.

- WELL, I'M SORRY.

I DON'T FEEL BAD
ABOUT WHAT I'VE SAID.

BUT I MIGHT SEND HER FLOWERS.
- YOU ARE MEAN.

[laughter]

- ORCHIDS.
- JUST TO KEEP... THE ORCHIDS.

- I CAN'T ALWAYS BE THE BAD GUY.

I'M SORRY.
I'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS.

I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

- WHICH IS WHY I WANT...

PLEASE DON'T CRY. - I CAN'T...

- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE LIKE THAT.

- I WANNA GO.
I DO NOT WANNA BE HERE.

- I UNDERSTAND
YOU DON'T WANNA BE HERE.

- IT'S NOT A FUN PARTY FOR ME,
I'M SORRY.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUN...
I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND.

- [crying]
I DON'T WANNA BE HERE.

- DID YOU HEAR ABOUT HER SAYING

HOW SHE FELT INTIMIDATED
WITH PAUL?

- [growls]
- GO AHEAD.

WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
YOU WANNA TOUCH ME?

- YOU'RE CALLING ME A BITCH
AND UP IN MY FACE.

- YOU JUST SAID
"[bleep] YOU" TO ME.

- BUT THAT'S
WHAT SHE ALWAYS SAYS,

TO MAKE IT OKAY FOR HER
TO SAY HER VICIOUSNESS.

COME ON, YOU... IT'S HILARIOUS.

- NO, I UNDERSTAND
YOU WANNA LEAVE,

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE LIKE THIS.

- IT'S FINE.
- PLEASE, PLEASE.

- IT'S GOT NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.

I JUST CAN'T SIT IN THERE
AND GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN.

- I DON'T SIT AROUND
EVERY TIME SOMEBODY ATTACKS ME

GOING, "OH, BUT CAMILLE
HAS SO MUCH MONEY

THAT SHE SHOULD BE BIGGER."
- SHE WASN'T SAYING THAT.

- OR, "LISA HAS SO MUCH MONEY
THAT SHE SHOULD BE BIGGER."

- SHE WASN'T SAYING THAT.
- WHO CARES ABOUT MONEY?

IT'S ABOUT OUR INTEGRITY...
WHO WE ARE, WHAT WE DO.

- SHE WASN'T SAYING THAT.

- YOU ARE SO PROTECTIVE
AND VERY SWEET.

- I THINK
FAYE IS PATRONIZING ME,

SAYING IT'S SWEET
WHEN I'M DEFENDING BRANDI.

I-I DON'T REALLY
APPRECIATE THAT.

- I'M TELLING YOU SOMETHING.

I-I HEARD ADRIENNE'S VOICE,
AND IT BROKE MY HEART

THE OTHER DAY,
IT BROKE MY HEART.

- I WAS
PRETTY DEVASTATED TOO, FAYE,

WITH WHAT ADRIENNE DID
TO TRY AND HURT

MY BUSINESS AND MY INTEGRITY.

- I THINK LISA AND BRANDI
WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM

'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T
WANNA GET HER HANDS DIRTY.

IN THE BACKGROUND, LISA'S GOING,

"OH, YES,
THIS IS GOING VERY WELL."

- [crying]

- I'M SORRY YOU'RE FEELING
LIKE THIS, I REALLY AM.

- IT'S OKAY.

- AND I'M SORRY
THIS HAPPENED AT MY HOUSE.

- I'LL BE FINE. I'M ALWAYS FINE.

[sobs]

PLEASE GO BACK IN.
- WHAT'S HAPPENED?

- SHE JUST WANTS TO GO,
SHE WANTS TO LEAVE.

- I JUST NEED TO GO.
- AWW.

- I JUST CAN'T SIT HERE AND DEAL

WITH REHASHING OLD [bleep].

- NO, I KNOW, I KNOW.
I TOLD HER THAT.

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

EVERYONE'S GIVING ME
A HARD TIME... I CANNOT...

IT'S NOT A FUN DINNER PARTY
TO DO THAT.

I WOULD'VE RATHER
HAD ADRIENNE THERE,

AND I'LL JUST STAY HOME
WITH MY KIDS.

LIKE, HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE.

I'M NOT DOING THIS.

I HAVE MY OWN ISSUES
WITH ADRIENNE.

FAYE, I DO NOT HAVE
TO ANSWER TO HER.

- WHY IS FAYE
GETTING SO INVOLVED?

- SHE'S
A VERY OPINIONATED PERSON.

- I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ONE.

- I'M TRYING TO LEAVE
BUT WAITING FOR THE CAR.

- GO, GO.

- I'M JUST NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU
ON THE STEP LIKE THIS.

THAT'S WHY I'M... - NO, NO.

I'LL STAY WITH HER, KYLE.
IT'S FINE.

- [sniffles]

- YOUR CAR IS HERE.

- ALL RIGHT. THANKS, GUYS.

I'M GONNA GO. I'M SORRY.

- OH, NO, I DON'T...

- THANK YOU.

- I-I FEEL BAD
THAT YOU'RE LEAVING.

I REALLY DO.
- IT'S FINE. I'M GOOD.

I JUST HAVE, LIKE,
SNOT RUNNING DOWN...

- MM.
- I JUST WANT TO GO.

I LOVE YOU.

- I'M IN A REALLY BAD POSITION

BECAUSE, TO ME, MY GIRLFRIENDS
ARE LIKE SISTERS.

FAYE IS MY VERY CLOSE FRIEND.

HOWEVER, BRANDI AND I HAVE COME

A LONG WAY SINCE OUR FIGHT,

SO I FEEL VERY STUCK.

- CLEARLY SHE'S HAS...
SHE HAS REMORSE.

SO SHE'S GONNA GO HOME NOW
ON HER OWN IN TEARS?

I DON'T KNOW.

- KYLE, DON'T BE MAD AT ME.
I AM SORRY.

- I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.
I'M NOT MAD AT YOU AT ALL.

- BECAUSE YOU I CANNOT TAKE
THAT BULL[bleep] ODOMETER.

I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT.

- I'M GONNA GO.
I LOVED THE FOOD.

I DIDN'T LOVE THE EVENING.

- IT STARTED OUT NICE.

- THE FOOD WAS DELICIOUS.

- YEAH, BUT THIS IS A PROBLEM

THAT'S NOT GONNA BE RESOLVED
TOO EASILY.

- WELL, THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE TO FIX IT.

- SOME THINGS
AREN'T EASILY FIXED.

I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THEM.

[juicer whirring]

- LAST NIGHT, KYLE'S
DINNER PARTY GOT PRETTY CRAZY.

I'VE GOT SO MUCH
GOING ON IN MY LIFE

THAT I DON'T HAVE
THE ENERGY FOR IT.

[doorbell rings]

HELLO, MS. ALISHA. HOW ARE YOU?

- HELLO, BEAUTIFUL TAYLOR.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. MWAH.

- COME ON IN.
- THANK YOU.

- ALISHA KILLEBREW IS ASSOCIATED
WITH THE AGAPE CHURCH

AND MICHAEL BECKWITH,

WHO IS APPARENTLY ASSOCIATED
WITH OPRAH.

SHE CAME TO ME THROUGH A FRIEND.

SHE ACTUALLY REACHED OUT TO THEM

BECAUSE SHE HAD SOME THINGS
SHE WANTED TO SHARE WITH ME.

- I REALLY WANTED
JUST TO BE OF SERVICE

AND OF HEALING TO YOU
AND BLESS THE HOUSE

AND BRING LIGHTS

AND LOTS OF LOVE AND LOTS
OF LIGHT AND EVERYTHING GOOD.

OKAY, I BROUGHT YOU THIS.
THIS IS FOR DISCHARGING.

THIS IS A BLACK ROCK.

THIS IS... [kisses] YOUR ROCK.

PLEASE KEEP IT FOREVER.

AND YOU'RE GONNA KEEP THIS,

AND YOU USE IT
TO DISCHARGE NEGATIVITY.

- THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS,

I'VE BEEN FIGHTING
A $1.5 MILLION LAWSUIT

FROM A PUBLIC COMPANY.

ONE OF THE THINGS
I REALLY WANNA FIND OUT

FROM ALISHA IS WHETHER
I'M GONNA BE ABLE

TO SETTLE MY LAWSUIT OR NOT.

- THIS IS FOR PRAYING.
IT'S JUST LIKE PRAYER BEADS.

THIS IS YOUR FIRE FINGER,
SO YOU DON'T

WANNA TOUCH THIS FINGER,
IT WILL BURN OUT THE ENERGY.

LOOK UP WHEN YOU'RE MEDITATING,
TO YOUR THIRD EYE.

WHEN YOU MEDITATE
AND YOUR TONGUE GOES UP,

THIS SACRED ELIXIR
COMES DOWN CALLED A MUDRA.

SO I'M GONNA STAND UP.

PLEASE ALLOW ME
TO JUST PRAY FOR ONE MINUTE.

- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT, SO...

I FEEL THAT YOU
ARE STARTING TO FIND

A LITTLE BIT MORE PEACE
AND MORE...

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PEACE
AND CENTERING

AND DIRECTION AND CLARITY.

- WHAT I WANNA KNOW
IS IF YOU SEE

AN END TO THE LITIGATION.

- YES, THERE WILL BE.

I ACTUALLY FEEL
A SETTLEMENT'S GONNA BE MADE.

A SETTLEMENT.

THERE'S GONNA BE, LIKE,
SOME COURT'S

KIND OF AGREEMENT
THAT'S GONNA COME TO YOU.

FATHER, IS THIS... NO.

FATHER, IS THIS... NO.

I DO NOT SEE THIS, UM,
GOING TO COURT.

I FEEL THAT A SETTLEMENT
IS GOING TO BE REACHED.

- OKAY.
- OKAY, FATHER, IS IT GOING TO...

NO, NO, NO.

OKAY, SO A SETTLEMENT
WILL BE REACHED, FATHER?

IS IT GONNA... YES.
OKAY, SO YES, YES, SO GOOD.

AND YOU'RE GONNA FEEL
SO RELIEVED...

- I KNOW.
- AND SO HAPPY.

AND LIKE, "THANK YOU, GOD.
THANK YOU, GOD."

- THERE'S A LOT AT STAKE
WITH THIS LAWSUIT RIGHT NOW.

I'M WILLING TO DO PRETTY MUCH
ANYTHING TO GET PAST IT.

- ALL RIGHT, SO WE'LL GO WORK
ON THE HOUSE NOW.

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

RING, RING, RING. [bell rings]

OKAY, PERFECT.

AND WE'RE GONNA SPRAY.
LET'S JUST SPRAY.

GETTING RID OF...
THIS GETS RID OF...

ROSES, IT'S ROSES,
THE HIGH VIBRATION.

[chanting in foreign language]

[bell rings]

YOU ARE BLESSED AND PROTECTED.

ALL IS WELL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, THANK YOU.

- LATER I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH

ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
WITH PRINCESS DIANA,

'CAUSE SHE TOLD ME.

- COMING UP...

- SCHEANA... SHE SAID TO ME

THAT SHE REALLY,
REALLY WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU.

- OF COURSE
I'LL MEET WITH HER, FOR YOU.

[ducks quacking]

- IS MARISA GONNA BRING
HER OWN MAT, OR...?

- I WOULD LAY ONE OUT FOR HER.

YOU KNOW MARISA.
- I NEED THE SQUISHIER ONE.

- DO YOU WANT PURPLE
OR KIND OF...

- WHATEVER ONE'S GONNA
PROTECT MY FACE

WHEN I FALL ON IT.
- THIS ONE, THIS ONE.

- KYLE?

- WHEN I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS...

- HELLO.
- HI!

- WHO'S HERE? OH.
- MARISA.

- I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
I'VE BEEN WORKING

AT THE OFFICE.
- OH, DON'T PRETEND.

- I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF A BIG DEAL.

- JUST KIDDING. [laughs]

- I'M THE MIDDLE OF A BIG DEAL.

AND I'VE BEEN EMAILING, TEXTING.

I'M SUCH A STRESS BALL,
AS WE KNOW.

- LISTEN, THE ONLY...
- KYLE AND I ARE A LOT ALIKE.

- I WAS JUST TELLING HIM,
HE SHOULD'VE BEEN

AT OUR DINNER PARTY LAST NIGHT...
MY DINNER PARTY LAST NIGHT.

- OH, YES, YES.
- YOU WERE ALL WIGGING OUT?

- SHE PROBABLY THINKS
EVERYBODY'S INSANE.

EVERYBODY WAS FIGHTING.
- IT'S SO WEIRD.

ALL THESE WOMEN,
IT'S LIKE HIGH SCHOOL.

- NO, IT'S NOT HIGH SCHOOL.
IT'S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

- OKAY, FINE, YEAH.
- DON'T ACT LIKE...

WELL, YOU GO THROUGH THIS
WITH YOUR WIFE'S STUFF TOO.

- LIKE A PING-PONG BALL
OF NONSENSE.

LET'S HAVE AN UJJAYI BREATH.

- I NEED YOU
TO STRETCH OUT MY BACK.

I'M HAVING PROBLEMS HERE.
- OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
HOW ABOUT IF WE DO SOME YOGA?

CAN YOU PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN?
- OKAY, OKAY.

- YEAH, MARISA, NO TEXTING.
- THANK YOU. LET'S JUST...

- SHE ALWAYS GETS MAD AT ME
WHEN I TEXT.

- LET'S JUST START.
MOVE UP TO THE FRONT

OF YOUR MAT,
SO YOU DON'T BUMP HER.

AND LET'S JUST DO
MOUNTAIN POSE, FIVE BREATH.

STAND STILL,
HANDS AT YOUR SIDES,

TALL CHEST, SHOULDERS DOWN,
GOOD POSTURE,

BIG SMILE,
AND BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE.

- OKAY.

- GIRLS CAN BE REALLY MEAN.

AND I JUST FEEL LIKE,
IN THIS SITUATION,

WITH THESE WOMEN,
WE ARE GROWN ADULTS.

WE AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO TREAT EACH OTHER THIS WAY.

COMING INTO, LIKE,
THIS HUGE SITUATION

WITH A BIG PROBLEM
THAT HAD ARISED...

- LAST... LAST NIGHT
WAS NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE.

RIGHT NOW
IT'S JUST EXTRA SENSITIVE

BECAUSE OF THE COMMENT

THAT BRANDI MADE ABOUT ADRIENNE.

- RIGHT.

- YOU KNOW, WHAT SHE REVEALED
AND TOLD PEOPLE.

- DO YOU THINK BRANDI
FEELS BAD ABOUT THAT?

- I REALLY... HONESTLY,
I DON'T THINK SHE FEELS BAD.

- REALLY?
- NO.

- YEAH.

- INSTEAD OF COMPETING WITH
WHO DID THIS OR WHO DID WHAT

AND BEATING YOURSELVES UP
IN YOUR MIND,

LET'S JUST MOVE INTO WARRIOR II

WITH A NICE, EASY, OPEN FEELING

AND STRENGTH...
THERE WE GO, GIRLS.

OKAY, LET'S MOVE UP TO THE SKY.

- JUST BECAUSE SHE'S SAYING,
"I'M SORRY,

I KNOW I MADE A MISTAKE,
I FEEL BAD,"

DOESN'T MEAN SHE REALLY DOES.

- I CAN'T GO FAR.

- WELL, IF YOU'D STOP TALKING...
FALL DOWN.

- I MEAN, MY IMPRESSION
OF HER LAST NIGHT...

- LIFT YOUR FEET,
AND LIFT YOUR HANDS.

AND HOLD THEM BRIEFLY.
- WAS SHE'S A COOL GIRL,

YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE SHE WAS NICE TO ME,

BEING A NEW PERSON.
SHE WAS, LIKE, NICE.

- MY ELDEST IS TURNING NINE
IN A WEEK.

- YEAH?
- AND I HAVE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD

AS WELL. - OH, YEAH.

AND YOU HAVE BOYS, YEAH?
- BOYS, YEAH.

- WHEREAS, TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU,

CAMILLE AND TAYLOR
DIDN'T ENGAGE ME.

AND I THINK THAT'S RUDE.
- RIGHT.

- YOU KNOW,
WHEN THERE'S SOMEBODY NEW,

YOU SHOULD TRY AND MAKE THEM
FEEL COMFORTABLE, YOU KNOW?

AND JUST KIND OF
MAKE THEM FEEL AT HOME.

LOOKIT, I UNDERSTAND.
YOU HAVE A HISTORY WITH HER.

- NO, BUT IT'S
NOT A GOOD HISTORY,

THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO FIX IT.
- NO, I KNOW, I KNOW.

- AND I THINK
THAT'S WHY FAYE WAS SO UPSET.

- THE THING I DIDN'T LIKE WAS

IT WASN'T HER BATTLE
TO FIGHT, I JUST FELT.

- THIS ONE'S NOT EASY GIRLS,

BUT IF YOU'LL FOCUS
FOR A HALF A SECOND,

WE'RE GONNA GET IT.
- THAT'S VERY DIFFICULT.

- TAKE YOUR LEFT ARM UNDERNEATH.

- OH, NO.

- BRING IT IN HERE
AND STRETCH OUT

YOUR HIP FOR A SECOND.
- OH, MY GOD.

- DID FAYE GO
A LITTLE TOO FAR? PROBABLY.

BUT SHE'S NOT BUYING
BRANDI'S APOLOGY.

I PROMISE YOU,
THEY REALLY ARE FUN SOMETIMES.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS,
I SWEAR.

- RIGHT. WELL, I MIGHT...

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO BET
SOME MONEY ON IT OR SOMETHING.

[both laugh]

- WELL,
I DON'T WANNA DO THAT, NO.

I'M NOT MAKING THAT MUCH
OF A GUARANTEE.

- OH, YEAH, MARK, THAT'S GOOD.

- [laughs] MARK.

- I MEAN, HOW ABOUT
IF WE DON'T EVEN TALK

FOR A FEW SECONDS?

- OH, TALK OF THE DEVIL.
- HELLO.

- HELLO, DARLING.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD.

- EVERYTHING GOOD?
- YES, EVERYTHING'S GOOD.

I'M EXCITED TO BE SHOPPING.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?

- AFTER KYLE'S DINNER PARTY
THE OTHER NIGHT

WITH FAYE, CHICK WITH A DICK,

UH, I DEFINITELY
NEEDED RETAIL THERAPY.

I DON'T LIKE FAYE, BUT I GET

SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO BE
A LOYAL FRIEND TO ADRIENNE,

BUT I'M OVER IT.

- OH, THIS IS CUTE.
IS IT A SKIRT?

- OH, YEAH.
THAT'S GONNA LOOK LOVELY.

- YEAH, YOU COULD DO IT
AS A SKIRT OR AS A TUBE TOP.

- OR YOU COULD DO IT AS A BELT.

- SERIOUSLY, IT'S ADORABLE
AS A TUBE TOP.

- NO, IT'S A BELT, DARLING.
IT'S NOT A SKIRT.

TRY IT ON, JUST FOR A LAUGH.
- I MEAN, I WILL IF YOU WANT.

I JUST DON'T THINK
I CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.

- YES, YOU CAN.
- OH, I THINK YOU CAN,

JUST NOT AROUND MY HUSBAND.

- [laughs]
WELL, THEN LET ME, LET ME...

- PUT IT...
- THIS IS PRETTY.

- UM, LISTEN.
- YES?

- SCHEANA, SHE CAME TO ME
THE OTHER DAY...

- YES.

- AND SAID THAT...
AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND

IF YOU TELL ME TO...

- [bleep] OFF? I'M KIDDING.
- YEAH.

NO, I'D RATHER
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.

BUT SHE SAID TO ME

THAT SHE REALLY,
REALLY WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU.

AND IT'S LIKE,
YOU'VE KIND OF CROSSED PATHS,

WHAT, HALF A DOZEN TIMES NOW?
- YEAH.

OH, YOU'RE THE GIRL
THAT HAD SEX WITH MY HUSBAND.

- SLIGHT PERSONAL PROBLEM.

BRANDI, I KIND OF
USED TO DATE HER HUSBAND.

- LAST TIME, SHE LEFT IN TEARS
AT VILLA BLANCA.

- SHE LEFT IN TEARS?
- YEAH.

I... DARLING, I DON'T...

- I'M SORRY, IT'S REALLY HARD
FOR ME TO FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

- I'M NOT ASKING YOU
TO FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

I'M JUST SAYING
THAT SHE'S COME TO ME

AND SAID THAT SHE JUST

REALLY WOULD LIKE TO...
TO MEET YOU

AND TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

- THIS IS A WOMAN THAT HAD
AN AFFAIR WITH MY HUSBAND

WHILE I WAS PREGNANT
AND MARRIED.

AND, UM, YEAH, SHE'S A HOOKER.

I...

SHE RUINED MY FAMILY.

AND IT WAS HIM TOO, BUT, LIKE...

I WAS HAPPY, YOU KNOW?

- [sighs]
- I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST HARD

'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO
BACKWARDS.

I MEAN, OF COURSE
I'LL MEET WITH HER, FOR YOU.

I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
EMOTIONAL FOR ME.

AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE...
LET HER SEE THAT GET TO ME.

BUT IT DID...
IT WAS A BIG DEAL FOR ME.

- THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT IT
THAT WAS RIGHT.

AND I FEEL... YEAH, I DO
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT.

I REALLY DO.

AND, AS I SAY, I CAN...
OR WE CAN JUST GO ON,

AND I'LL KEEP KIND OF
MOVING AROUND OR...

- NO, I MEAN, I DON'T WANT
YOU TO HAVE TO DO THAT.

IT'S... IT'S...
THAT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU,

AND I UNDERSTAND,
BUT I-I DON'T...

LIKE, I DON'T FORESEE US,
LIKE, BEING FRIENDLY.

- OH, GOOD LORD, NO.
I DON'T EXPECT THAT EITHER.

- SCHEANA [bleep]
EVERY CELEBRITY SHE COULD.

SHE [bleep] EDDIE,
WENT ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD

AND CRIED ABOUT IT.

AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE
I WANNA GIVE HER

ANY MORE ATTENTION
FOR BEING A STAR [bleep].

LIKE, REALLY? LIKE, GO AWAY.

I'VE SAID TO YOU, I DON'T KNOW...

I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE I MAYBE
OWE HER A THANK-YOU,

BECAUSE I WOULD'VE STAYED
IN A BAD MARRIAGE

PROBABLY FOREVER AND NOT KNOWN,

IF SHE HADN'T DONE WHAT SHE DID.

BUT HAVING SAID THAT,
IT WAS, LIKE,

THE HARDEST 2 1/2 YEARS
OF MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, RIDICULOUS.

- I'M NOT SAYING I HAVE
ANY SYMPATHY FOR HER

IN THE SITUATION,
BRANDI, AT ALL.

TRUST ME, I WOULD FIRE HER
IN A HOT SECOND,

BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE SHE'S
WORKED FOR ME FOR THREE YEARS.

I HAVE SOME KIND
OF LOYALTY TO HER.

- NO, I'M NOT ASKING YOU
TO FIRE HER.

- AND ALSO, SHE SAID TO ME

THAT SHE FEELS SHE MADE
A MISTAKE, YOU KNOW?

- MAYBE, LIKE... LIKE, KICK HER

WHEN SHE'S WALKING
THROUGH THE RESTAURANT.

I'M KIDDING.

- WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE
GOT A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT IT.

- I HAVE TO. YOU'VE GOTTA...

YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LAUGH

AT LIFE'S HORRIBLE THINGS
THAT HAPPEN.

BECAUSE, THEN IF I DIDN'T...

- I'M GONNA LEAVE IT WITH YOU.

I'M NOT PUTTING ANY PRESSURE
ON YOU.

- COMING UP...

- HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME.
HE BOUGHT ME DIAMOND EARRINGS.

HE TOOK ME ON TRIPS.
- THERE WERE FEELINGS... GREAT.

- THERE WAS...
I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING, LIKE,

IT WAS MORE.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP

SAYING THIS, HONEY. I GOT IT.

I KNOW YOU WERE
[bleep] MY HUSBAND.

I GOT THAT. I GET THAT.

[wrapper crinkling]

[phone ringing]

- HELLO?

- TAYLOR, IT'S JOHN.
HOW ARE YOU?

- OH, HI. I'M PRETTY GOOD.

JUST KINDA GETTING
OUR DAY STARTED AROUND HERE.

- YEAH, LISTEN, DO YOU
HAVE A COUPLE OF MINUTES?

I WANTED TO DISCUSS
A COUPLE THINGS

THAT HAVE COME UP
IN YOUR LITIGATION.

- SURE, MY FAVORITE TOPIC.

RUSSELL ENTERED
INTO A SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT

WHEN HE PARTED WAYS
WITH A FORMER COMPANY

THAT HE WAS WORKING WITH,

AND PART OF THE AGREEMENT WAS

THAT I HAD TO SIGN OFF
AS RUSSELL'S WIFE.

SO EVERYTHING
FELL ON MY SHOULDERS.

- WE HAD A CONVERSATION
LAST NIGHT

WHERE I THINK HE WANTS
TO GET AWAY FROM THIS LAWSUIT.

- OKAY.

- WE TOLD HIM WE WEREN'T
GONNA PAY HIM ANY MONEY,

AND WE ARE GONNA FIGHT
THIS THING TO THE FINISH.

AND, UM, I THINK HE SEES

THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH
OUT IN THIS THING.

- THE LAWSUIT
IS FOR $1.5 MILLION.

AND I WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE LEFT WITH A TRUST

FROM RUSSELL
CONTAINING 14 MILLION,

WHICH IS EMPTY.

SO I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE CLOSE
TO THE MONEY TO PAY FOR THIS.

- WHAT HE HAS PROPOSED
IS HE HAS PROPOSED

THAT, UH... THAT HE TAKE
YOUR WEDDING RING.

AND HE THINKS THAT, GIVEN
THAT IT'S A TEN-CARAT RING,

HE CAN MONETIZE THAT.

AND HE CAN SELL IT AND PUT
THE MONEY INTO HIS COMPANY

AND HE CLAIM VICTORY.

- I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA BE SICK.

I-I CAN'T IMAGINE
SOMEONE EVEN HAVING THE GUTS

TO ASK SOMEONE
FOR THEIR WEDDING RING.

- I FEEL BAD EVEN TALKING
TO YOU ABOUT IT.

BUT IT'S, UH...

IT IS A WAY TO TRY
AND GET AWAY FROM THIS THING.

- [exhales]

- THERE IS ONE OTHER COMPONENT
TO THIS.

THEY WANT ONE OTHER THING
THAT'S YOURS.

UM, I HATE TO EVEN BRING IT UP,

BUT THEY'VE ASKED FOR TWO
OF YOUR HERMES HANDBAGS.

- THE HARDEST PART ABOUT IT
IS THAT I USED TO BE FRIENDS

WITH THE PERSON
WHO'S ASKING THIS OF ME.

HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND
AT THE TIME

WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE
THAT WE TOLD

WE WERE PREGNANT WITH KENNEDY.

AND IT'S JUST UNBELIEVABLE TO ME

THAT WE'VE GOTTEN TO THIS POINT.

JUST GIVE ME A COUPLE DAYS.
DO I HAVE A COUPLE DAYS?

- YEAH, WE CAN GET BACK TO HIM.

HE'D LIKE TO HAVE AN ANSWER
BY TOMORROW.

- SO I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL

BY TOMORROW WITH MY ANSWER.

- ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- BYE.

- HI.

HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD AFTERNOON.

- THANK YOU.

HI, HONEY.

ALL RIGHT.
- SO I'M GLAD YOU CAME,

MY DARLING. - SINCE WE...

I ONLY HAVE, LIKE,
A HALF AN HOUR.

- HERE.

- THAT'S BAD LUCK,
TO PUT IT ON THE FLOOR.

CAN I PUT IT RIGHT HERE?

OKAY. - OKAY.

NOW THERE'S LIPSTICK
ALL OVER MY...

THAT'S... - NOW THERE'S NOT.

HERE YOU GO.

RELAX.

GOD, DON'T SWEAT
THE SMALL STUFF.

- WOULD YOU LIKE
A GLASS OF WATER?

- WHAT?
- WOULD YOU LIKE A GLASS, HUH?

- I'D RATHER SHARE WITH YOU.

- IT'S OKAY, YOU'VE ALREADY
CONTAMINATED IT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU
JUST KEEP GOING?

- OH, GOD. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
- ANYWAY.

I'VE BEEN DOING MY RESEARCH,
LIKE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT,

FOR THE SKIN CARE LINE. - RIGHT.

- I'VE ALREADY PUT
A LOT OF TIME INTO THIS.

- WE BOTH HAVE.

- ALL RIGHT.

- PAUL AND I ARE STARTING
OUR OWN SKIN CARE LINE TOGETHER.

IT'S CUTTING-EDGE.

I USE IT ALL THE TIME
ON MY SKIN,

AND I WANNA BRING IT
TO THE PUBLIC.

- SINCE WE PUT A LOT OF TIME
INTO THIS,

I FINALLY THINK
THAT NOW WE'RE DOWN

TO THE FINAL TWO PRODUCTS.

LET'S LOOK AT SOME
OF THE TEXTURES AND COLORS,

AND GIVE ME
YOUR INITIAL THOUGHTS.

- IT WAS TIME TO DISTANCE MYSELF

FROM THE GIRLS
FOR A LITTLE WHILE

BECAUSE I FEEL THAT BRANDI
HIT BELOW THE BELT,

AND I JUST NEEDED SOME TIME
TO BE AWAY

FROM SOMEBODY SO TOXIC.

WHY DO YOU LIE?

- GET YOUR FINGER
OUT OF MY FACE.

- NO, NO, NO.
MY FINGER'S NOT IN YOUR FACE.

- REALLY, HOW... ARE YOU KIDDING?

- MORE COMMENTS
WITH YOUR SMILE ON YOUR FACE?

WHERE DO YOU
GET THIS BULL[bleep]?

I JUST WANT YOU
TO FEEL THE ACTUAL CLEANSER.

- EXFOLIANT, BUT NOT TOO...
NOT TOO HARSH ON THE SKIN.

- WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
NOW NEXT TO IT...

NOW HERE, THIS
IS A DIFFERENT ONE THOUGH.

- YOU THINK? [chuckles]

I PREFER THIS WITH
A LITTLE BIT OF EXFOLIATION.

BRANDI HAS CAUSED MORE ISSUES
THAN SHE KNOWS.

IT'S PUT A STRAIN
ON OUR RELATIONSHIP.

- HOW DID WE DO ON OUR FIRST
BUSINESS LITTLE VENTURE

SO FAR TOGETHER?

HOW ARE WE GETTING ALONG,
DOING THIS?

- TIME WILL TELL.

- YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
I THINK WE DID PRETTY WELL.

- NOT BAD.
WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

- CAM GRAM?

- HEY!

- HI.
- JUST LETTING MYSELF IN.

HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- YOU TOO. OH, YOU'RE SO SKINNY.

I'M GONNA BREAK YOU IN HALF.
- SO ARE YOU.

- NO, I'M NOT.
- LOOK WHO'S TALKING.

DON'T MIND MY LITTLE MAN, JOEY.

HEY, BUDDY. - HE'S SO CUTE.

- CAMILLE AND I HAVE GROWN
REALLY CLOSE.

SHE GIVES ME ADVICE.

AND I-I-I LOVE HER.

- WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- OH, YOU TOO.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.

- YOU TOO, AS ALWAYS.
- THANKS.

- SO WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON
WITH YOU?

- LET'S SEE, UM, YOU KNOW,
JUST MOVING FORWARD WITH MY LIFE

AND, UM, TRYING
TO GET THIS SETTLEMENT DONE.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S TAKING SO LONG.

- I JUST WANT IT
TO BE OVER WITH.

HE CAN'T EVEN SAY
MY NAME IN HIS HOUSE.

MY KIDS ARE NOT ALLOWED
TO SAY MY NAME OR SAY "MOM."

IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE
TO PUT ON THOSE CHILDREN.

- OH, MY GOD.
- DO YOU THINK

IT'S THE NEW WIFE'S INSECURITY,

OR HE DOESN'T WANNA
ACCEPT HIS GUILT,

OR FACE MAYBE... - I DON'T KNOW.

- BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANNA DEAL
WITH HIS OWN GUILT, OR...?

I GO THROUGH THESE THINGS.

- BUT WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT ACTORS HERE.

SO THESE GUYS HAVE GIANT EGOS

THAT HAVE TO BE STROKED
AND PROTECTED.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DO
HALF THE [bleep] THEY DO.

I HONESTLY DON'T. - I AGREE.

- CAMILLE AND I HAVE
GONE THROUGH

ALMOST IDENTICAL
MARRIAGE AND BREAKUPS.

AND I FEEL LIKE SHE MIGHT
BE ABLE TO GIVE ME

A LITTLE BIT OF A DIFFERENT
PERSPECTIVE THAN LISA.

BECAUSE LISA WANTS EVERYONE
HAPPY AND COPACETIC,

AND I-I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN BE HAPPY

AND COPACETIC WITH SCHEANA.

SO THAT IS KIND OF WHY I CAME.

BECAUSE I KIND OF HAVE A CHANCE

TO TALK TO ONE
OF EDDIE'S EX-GIRLFRIENDS

ABOUT KIND OF WHAT WENT ON

IN MY MARRIAGE
WHILE THEY WERE TOGETHER.

- WHICH GIRL IS... I MEAN...

- IT'S THIS GIRL
THAT WORKS FOR LISA.

I FEEL BAD FOR LISA.
I KNOW LISA'S UNCOMFORTABLE.

I... LISA SAID THAT, YOU KNOW,

"SCHEANA WANTS TO TALK TO YOU."

AND I-I KIND OF FEEL LIKE

IT COULD BE GOOD FOR ME
TO TALK TO HER.

- WELL, IF IT GIVES YOU
SOME SORT OF CLOSURE,

I THINK IT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA.

- BUT DO I NEED TO KNOW DETAILS?

THAT'S WHAT
I'M JUST THINKING, LIKE...

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT

TO KNOW SPECIFIC DETAILS.
- RIGHT.

- BUT IF I HAD A CHANCE
TO TALK TO KAYTE...

- IF YOU HAD A CHANCE,
WOULD YOU?

- I WOULD.
- REALLY?

- BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW...
I WOULD WANNA KNOW

WHAT HE WAS TELLING HER,
BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.

- WELL, YOU'LL GET THAT CHANCE

WHEN HE GETS MARRIED NEXT TIME.

- YEAH. [both laugh]

IF YOU DO TALK TO HER,
IS THERE ANYTHING

THAT SHE COULD POSSIBLY SAY
THAT MIGHT UPSET YOU?

AND YOU...
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS?

- I DON'T KNOW...
I MEAN, I REALLY FEEL LIKE,

AT THIS POINT,
IF I CAN GO TO THERAPY

WITH LEANN AND EDDIE, I CAN SIT
WITH ONE OF HIS GIRLS...

- EX-FLINGS.
- AND HAVE A CONVERSATION.

I DON'T THINK THAT THERE'S
ANYTHING THAT SHE COULD SAY,

AS FAR AS HE GOES,
THAT COULD HURT ME

BECAUSE I'VE...
I'VE ALREADY MOURNED THAT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SO I DON'T KNOW,
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW

IF ANYTHING
THAT SHE IS GONNA SAY

COULD POTENTIALLY HURT ME.

- IF YOU SEE HER
EVERY TIME YOU GO TO SUR,

AND SHE WORKS FOR LISA,
IT'S PROBABLY GOOD

JUST TO MOVE... TO CONFRONT IT.

- JUST TO TRY TO GET THE GIANT
ELEPHANT OUT OF THE ROOM.

- EXACTLY, AND MOVE FORWARD.
- IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

I WOULD RATHER JUST SAY,
"HELLO. GET ME SOME COFFEE."

[both laugh]

I FEEL BAD BECAUSE I SPEND
SO MUCH TIME WITH LISA AND KEN,

AND I DO FEEL REALLY AWKWARD
EVERY TIME

LISA'S, LIKE, SCURRYING AROUND,

AND WAITRESSES
ARE CHANGING AND MOVING.

AND I FEEL LIKE
IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.

THIS GIRL'S IN HER LIFE.
I'M IN LISA'S LIFE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

- WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
- UGH, THANKS.

- I HOPE IT WORKS OUT
FOR THE BEST.

- WANNA COME? [both laugh]

BUCKLE UP, KIDDIES.

- COMING UP...
- DON'T CRY.

I LOST MY FAMILY.

I LOST EVERYTHING THAT I HAD.

SO IF ANYONE'S GONNA CRY HERE,
IT'S NOT GONNA BE YOU.

- HI, MAMA.
- HI, GIRLS.

- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?

- WHAT ARE YOU MAKING?

- YOUR FAVORITE,
SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE.

- I MISS CLUB VOLLEYBALL.

- GIGI WANTED TO MODEL
ALL THIS TIME.

- NICE. BEAUTIFUL.

- AND NOW SHE'S LIKE,
"WELL, I WANNA GO BACK

TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL."

AND SHE'S GOTTA
START BUILDING HER CAREER,

AND THAT MEANS SOMETIMES

WE HAVE TO GIVE UP THINGS
THAT WE LOVE TO DO.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

VOLLEYBALL IS A VERY
MASCULINE SPORT.

MODELING IS A VERY
FEMININE THING.

- I KNOW.

- THESE GIRLS, THEY TRAIN
FOUR HOURS A DAY AFTER SCHOOL,

SO THEIR BODIES
ARE BIG AND BULKY.

AND, I MEAN,
THEY EAT LIKE... LIKE MEN.

- IN THIRD GRADE, REMEMBER,
I USED TO WEAR

BASKETBALL CLOTHES
TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY?

- YES, A LAKER JERSEY, RIGHT?

- YEAH, TO SCHOOL, EVERY DAY.

- I THOUGHT
THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS A...

LESBIAN.

- THIS'LL BE A FUN OCCASION.

- YEAH.

THANK YOU.

- I'VE SEEN YOU NAKED.
YOU HAVE A VERY PRETTY BODY.

- WHEN HAVE YOU SEEN ME NAKED?

- YOU HAVE A FLAT TUMMY
AND A PRETTY BUTT.

- WHY ARE YOU BUYING
THOSE MAGAZINES?

- I FOUND 'EM
UNDER MAURICIO'S BED.

I HAVE SEEN THAT BUTT,

NICE AND PLUMPY.

LISA VANDERPLUMP.

- I LOOK MUCH BETTER NUDE.

- OH, BUT THAT THING...
[laughter]

WELL, YEAH,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE

TO KINDA WRAP IT UP... - REALLY?

- HELLO.
- ANYWAY, MOVING ON... HELLO.

- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- HEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- HOW ARE YOU?

Both: MWAH.
- OH, I JUST GRABBED YOU, SORRY.

- HI, DARLING.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR...

DON'T GET UP. HOW ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, HE'S GOOD.

CAN YOU FEEL THIS?

I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL THIS.

YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

- HE IS?
- HE CAN JUMP UP, YES.

- OH, REALLY,
YOU AREN'T CARRYING HIM?

- THEY WERE JUST
HEARING INTIMATE DETAILS.

- OH, REALLY?
DID I MISS INTIMATE THINGS?

- YOU DID. HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
- GOOD.

Both: SO...
- OH, SO YOU'RE FEELING...

YOU'RE FEELING WELL, KEN?

ARE YOU PERFECT? - OH, PERFECT.

- DID YOU THANK TAYLOR
FOR YOUR BASKET?

- I DID, UH, THANK YOU.
DIDN'T I PHONE YOU?

- OF COURSE... YES, ABSOLUTELY.

- WHAT BASKET?
- WITH THE MOVIES.

- YEAH, I SENT HIM A LITTLE...
SOME STUFF TO DO

WHILE HE WAS RECUPERATING,
BRITISH MOVIES.

- YEAH, BUT PORNO, REALLY.
- THERE WERE NO PORN.

I PROMISE, I JUST
SENT HIM BRITISH MOVIES.

I THOUGHT
THEY WERE BRITISH, RIGHT?

- BRITISH PORN, IT WAS FINE.
IT WAS OKAY.

[laughter] NEW SUBJECT.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU LAUGHING.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S...
THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

- WELL, I HAVE FINALLY
SETTLED MY LAWSUIT.

- OH, FANTASTIC.

SO HOW DID YOU SETTLE IT THOUGH?

- A FEW DAYS AGO, THE ATTORNEYS

SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE
AND TOOK MY WEDDING RING.

IT'S A GOOD THING. I'M SORRY.

[clears throat]

- OH, WOW.

- AND, UM, TWO HERMES BAGS.

AND THEN I STILL OWE THEM
A LITTLE MONEY,

BUT IT'S OVER.

- WELL, THOSE ARE MATERIAL
THINGS THAT CAN BE REPLACED.

AND THANK GOD YOU HAVE THIS,

YOU KNOW,
WEIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS.

- AND I'M PROUD OF YOU, TAYLOR.

AND I HAVE TO SAY THIS
REALLY HONESTLY

'CAUSE WE'VE BEEN
WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW?

WE'VE SEEN HOW YOU
HAVEN'T DEALT VERY WELL,

AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN COPING.

REALLY BEING HONEST HERE.
- YEAH.

- AND I'VE SEEN YOU STRUGGLING.

AND IT'S BEEN REALLY,
REALLY DIFFICULT

TO EVEN WATCH AS YOUR FRIEND
TRYING TO SUPPORT YOU.

BUT SO MANY THINGS
HAVE WORRIED US.

HAVEN'T WE... WELL, WE HAVE...
WE'VE TALKED HONESTLY.

AND I SEE
YOU'VE TURNED A CORNER.

AND I CHEERS TO THAT,

I REALLY DO. - THANK YOU.

WELL, I WANTED YOU
TO COME HERE TONIGHT

BECAUSE IN ALL OF IT,
YOU GUYS WERE MY FRIENDS.

AND IT'S REALLY GREAT,
IN THE END,

TO KNOW WHO MY FRIENDS ARE.

- I'M SO HAPPY.
- THAT'S AMAZING.

- I LOVE HAPPY DINNERS.

- [laughs]
- ISN'T IT GREAT?

- YES.
- AND ALSO, WHAT ABOUT HIM?

TWO WEEKS ON HIS BACK. - YES.

- I MEAN, THAT'S, LIKE, JUST...

- I DIDN'T REALLY...
I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE IT DONE.

- YOU DID THAT JUST TO GET OUT
OF THE L.A. LIVE DINNER.

I KNOW YOU. [laughs]

- I HAD NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY.

- KYLE, I WAS UP AT
THE HAVANA CLUB TODAY FOR LUNCH.

AND THEY SAID
THAT KIM'S BEEN UP THERE.

- MY SISTER?
- YEAH.

- THE CIGAR CLUB?
- YEAH.

- KIM?

- SHE'S ALLOWED
TO GO TO A CIGAR CLUB.

- OF COURSE SHE IS.

I JUST NEVER KNEW SHE WOULD
EVEN KNOW THAT PLACE EXISTED.

WELL, THAT CAN'T BE.

MY SISTER WOULD NEVER BE THERE,
ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW

WHILE SHE'S WORKING SO HARD
ON HER SOBRIETY.

I CALLED HER TO INVITE HER
TO THE DINNER LAST WEEK.

AND SHE SAID, "WELL,
YOU FORGOT ABOUT CHAD'S PARTY."

AND I SAID,
"I NEVER GOT AN INVITE

TO CHAD'S PARTY IN VEGAS.
I HAD NO IDEA."

- OH, SO YOU WEREN'T
REALLY INVITED?

- NO, I WAS NOT INVITED.
- [gasps]

- THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S OKAY.
- IT'S NOT OKAY, OBVIOUSLY.

- IT'S OKAY. IT'S FINE.
- NO, IT'S NOT OKAY.

- I MEAN, I WOULD'VE LIKED
TO HAVE BEEN THERE,

BUT IT'S FINE. - IT'S NOT FINE.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY IT'S FINE
IF IT'S NOT?

- MY RELATIONSHIP WITH KIM
HAS ABSOLUTELY CHANGED.

I REALLY THOUGHT THAT
ONCE SHE BECAME SOBER,

EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE,

BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE I KNOW HER

AS WELL AS I USED TO KNOW HER.

- ARE YOU OKAY?
NO, YOU'RE NOT OKAY.

YOU'RE NOT. - NO, I'M FINE.

- YOU'RE NOT.
- I'M FINE.

- HELLO.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

- [sighs]

EXHAUSTED. I COULDN'T EVEN
SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

- JUST THINKING ABOUT IT?
- YEAH.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT,
YOU KNOW?

- NO, I-I NEED TO. I WANT TO.

LIKE, I NEED TO HAVE HER
HEAR MY SIDE.

I NEED TO APOLOGIZE,
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH.

I JUST... I NEED TO DO THIS.

LIKE, WE'RE AROUND EACH OTHER
AT ODD TIMES TOO OFTEN

THAT'S IT'S JUST
BEYOND UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME.

I JUST CAN'T, LIKE,
TAKE IT ANYMORE.

IT'S JUST LIKE, I NEED
TO JUST, LIKE, GET IT OUT

AND GET IT OVER WITH.

- SHE'LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE.
- OKAY.

THANKS.

[exhales]

- I THINK SCHEANA'S
ALREADY GROWN FROM THIS

AND UNDERSTANDS THE CONSEQUENCES
OF HER ACTIONS.

BUT MAYBE WHEN SHE LOOKS BRANDI
IN THE EYES

AND REALIZES THE PAIN

AND THE DEVASTATION
THAT SHE CAUSED,

MAYBE THAT'S THE BEST LESSON
SHE CAN LEARN.

HEY.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- YOU GORGEOUS THING.
- MM, THANK YOU, BABE.

- YOU OKAY?
- I MEAN, IT'S... IT'S LIKE...

IT'S OLD NEWS, BUT I MEAN,
THERE'S QUESTIONS,

YOU KNOW, THAT I MEAN, IT WOULD
BE NICE TO HAVE ANSWERS TO.

- I KNOW.

WELL, SHE WANTS TO KIND OF
MOVE ON AS WELL, I THINK.

IT MIGHT BE BETTER
FOR BOTH OF YOU.

- I'M GONNA NEED
A GIANT DRINK FOR THIS.

- I'LL HAVE FUN
WITH YOU AFTER, OKAY?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

- I KNOW YOU DO... NO, NO, NO.

I'VE MADE THE DECISION.
I WANNA DO THIS.

SO I'M DOING IT. - ALL RIGHT.

- WISH ME LUCK.
- YOU DON'T NEED LUCK.

- WHERE IS SHE?

- JUST REMEMBER,
SHE WAS YOUNG AND STUPID, OKAY?

- YEP.

HELLO. - HI.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M NERVOUS.

UM, OBVIOUSLY I DON'T THINK
THIS IS SOMETHING

EITHER OF US
NECESSARILY WANT TO DO,

BUT I THINK I JUST HAVE SO MUCH

THAT I JUST NEED
TO GET OFF MY CHEST WITH YOU.

AND... I'M, LIKE,
SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

UM, IT'S, LIKE, A CONVERSATION

I'VE BEEN DREADING FOR YEARS

BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE
I NEED TO HAVE.

UM, I'LL START BY SAYING
I'M SORRY, LIKE...

- THANKS.
- BUT, UM...

GOD.

- DON'T CRY, REALLY.
- I KNOW.

- BECAUSE I-I LOST MY FAMILY.

I LOST EVERYTHING THAT I HAD.

SO IF ANYONE'S GONNA CRY HERE,

IT'S NOT GONNA BE YOU.

SHE DECIDED
TO DATE A MARRIED MAN.

SHE SOLD HER STORY TO THE PRESS.

EVERYTHING BAD WAS...
CAME FROM HER AND EDDIE.

NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO HER.
PUT THE TEARS AWAY.

OH, GOSH, I DON'T WANNA GET
IN A BACK-AND-FORTH WITH YOU,

BUT WHEN YOU FOUND OUT
THAT HE WAS MARRIED

AND YOU FOUND OUT
THAT HE WAS WITH LEANN,

YOU WENT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION
AND YOU...

YOU CRIED ABOUT MY HUSBAND
LEAVING YOU FOR LEANN,

AND I WAS WATCHING
WITH MY TWO-YEAR-OLD.

AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
THERE WAS A YOU AT THAT TIME.

- WHY WOULD I NOT WANNA GET
MY SIDE OF THE STORY OUT THERE?

I DON'T WANNA JUST LOOK
LIKE THIS MISTRESS.

THERE WERE FEELINGS INVOLVED.
- BUT YOU... OF COURSE.

- HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME.

HE BOUGHT ME DIAMOND EARRINGS.
HE TOOK ME ON TRIPS.

- GREAT.
- I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING...

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP
SAYING THIS, HONEY, I GOT IT.

IT'S HURTFUL RIGHT NOW
FOR YOU TO SAY THIS TO ME.

I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WERE
AND WHAT YOU WEREN'T.

I WAS THE MOTHER
OF HIS CHILDREN.

I WAS HIS WIFE.
I WAS HIS EVERYTHING.

YOU WERE THE OTHER WOMAN.
- I UNDERSTAND.

- SO DON'T GET IT TWISTED.

IT'S NOT A PISSING CONTEST.

SAY YOUR PEACE,
SAY YOU'RE SORRY,

SAY WHAT YOU CAME TO SAY,
AND GO THE [bleep] AWAY.

IN FACT, I'M LUCKY
THAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU.

I WOULD'VE STAYED
WITH EDDIE FOREVER

BECAUSE HE SAID
IT WAS A ONE-TIME THING.

HAD I NOT FIGURED OUT
THAT THERE WERE...

BY THE WAY, THERE WAS
MORE THAN JUST YOU...

I WOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT.

- I WAS HURT TOO.

THIS GUY MAKES ME FALL FOR HIM,

AND THEN I FIND OUT
HE HAS A WIFE AND KIDS.

- I DON'T CARE.

I MEAN, LOOK AT WHERE
YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE.

AND I'M IN SUCH A BETTER PLACE.

I-I WIN. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

DO NOT CRY TO ME

ABOUT EDDIE
AND FALLING FOR HIM AND...

- I'M NOT CRYING OVER THAT.
I'M CRYING 'CAUSE I FEEL BAD.

- I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR YOU.
- HONESTLY, I DIDN'T KNOW.

AND THAT'S FINE.

- HE LEFT ONE NIGHT A WEEK...
TUESDAY NIGHTS.

I MEAN, I WOULD NEVER
WANNA BE THE OTHER GIRL

THAT JUST GOT TUESDAY NIGHTS.

- DO YOU WANT ME
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU?

- YEAH.
- IT WASN'T ONLY TUESDAYS.

WE WENT OUT TO BARS TOGETHER.
WE WENT OUT TO RESTAURANTS.

IT WAS A LOT OF THINGS THAT...
- RESTAURANTS WHERE?

- THERE WAS THIS PLACE CALLED,
UH, COACH & HORSES.

- OH, THAT... THAT WAS OUR BAR.
THAT'S FUNNY.

- WELL, I'M SORRY.
WE WENT TO MAMMOTH TOGETHER.

HE TOOK ME ON TRIPS, LIKE...
- I KNOW.

I WAS INVITED,
THEN I WAS UNINVITED

'CAUSE HE SAID,
"IT'S GONNA BE A BOYS' TRIP."

- WELL, THAT...

- WE DON'T HAVE
TO GO BACK AND FORTH.

I KNOW YOU WERE
[bleep] MY HUSBAND.

I GOT THAT. I GET THAT.

- I DID FIND OUT.

AND I CHOSE TO BELIEVE
THAT HE WAS SEPARATED.

- YOU KNEW, I KNOW.
- ALL OF THESE THINGS...

I HAD ASKED HIM
IF HE WAS MARRIED

'CAUSE I HEARD A RUMOR,
STRAIGHT-UP LIED TO MY FACE.

- BUT DID YOU SAY,
"IS YOUR WIFE PREGNANT

WITH BABY NUMBER TWO?"
- HE DENIED EVERYTHING.

HE MET MY MOTHER,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

- WHEN DID HE MEET YOUR MOTHER?

- WHEN HE MOVED ME
INTO MY APARTMENT.

- LIKE, HE HELPED YOU MOVE?
- YEAH.

- COMING UP...

- I DON'T WANT HIM TO PUT
MY KIDS THROUGH THAT.

THEY'RE PERFECT LITTLE BOYS,

AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE
THEY STAY PERFECT.

- I WAS CURIOUS.

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
IN MY LIFE,

AND THEY SAY THEY DIDN'T KNOW.

AND I WANTED TO KNOW
WHO YOU KNEW OUT OF HIS FRIENDS.

- REALLY, THE ONLY TWO I KNEW
WHERE SHANE AND SCOTTY.

- I HAVE A TEXT MESSAGE
FROM SCOTTY,

'CAUSE HE'S, LIKE,
ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE

IN THE WORLD,
SAYING HE HAD NO IDEA.

- HE KNEW THE ENTIRE TIME.

THAT'S A LIE RIGHT THERE

'CAUSE I COULD SHOW YOU
TEXT MESSAGES FROM HIM.

- I JUST DON'T GET IT.

[deep breath]

YEAH, I FEEL BETRAYED.

IT'S BETTER TO BE UP FRONT
WITH PEOPLE AND SLEEP AT NIGHT

THAN TO BE A [bleep] [bleep].

YOU KNOW EDDIE'S GONNA BE
IN MY LIFE FOREVER

BECAUSE WE HAVE
TWO LITTLE BOYS TOGETHER.

SORRY, I DON'T WANT
TO GET UPSET.

HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
HE WAS MY EVERYTHING.

SO IF I DIDN'T HAVE
HIS KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF,

I WOULD... I DON'T KNOW
WHERE I'D BE.

OH, [bleep].

YOU SHOULD SEE MY KIDS.

THEY'RE THE HAPPIEST KIDS THAT
COME FROM A DIVORCED FAMILY.

I WILL NOT EVER SAY A BAD WORD

ABOUT THEIR DAD
IN FRONT OF THEM.

AND IF YOU SAW THEM,
THEY ARE SO [bleep] CUTE

AND SO BAD, BUT, LIKE,
IN THE BEST WAY.

THEY'RE PERFECT,
AND I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER

LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THEM.

SO EVEN IF HE'S CHEATING NOW,

I DON'T WANT HIM
TO DIVORCE LEANN,

BECAUSE IF THEY...

I DON'T WANT HIM TO
PUT MY KIDS THROUGH THAT.

THEY'RE PERFECT LITTLE BOYS,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE

THEY STAY PERFECT.

GUESS WHAT? YOU CAN CRY,

OR YOU CAN PUT YOUR
BIG-GIRL PANTIES ON

AND MOVE FORWARD.

UM, I APPRECIATE YOU
COMING TO MEET ME.

AND I, LIKE I SAID,
DON'T HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE.

I MEAN, IT'S... I JUST FEEL LIKE

DON'T EVER BE THE OTHER WOMAN...
JUST DON'T.

LIKE, YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

- I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY
THAT I HURT YOU.

- I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

SO I'M GONNA RUN OUT
'CAUSE I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF UP,

BUT WHEN I SEE YOU,
I'M HAPPY TO SAY HELLO.

I'M NOT THAT PERSON. - OKAY.

- I'M REALLY... SO DON'T,
LIKE, RUN FROM ME.

JUST THROW ME A WAVE. AND, UM...

GOOD LUCK.

IT WAS FOR SCHEANA.
IT WASN'T FOR ME.

IT WAS SO SHE WOULD
FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF.

AND I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHY THAT WAS MY JOB TO DO THAT,

BUT I DID IT.

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- I MADE A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.

- WHAT?
- THIS.

YOUR FAVORITE THING
IN THE WORLD.

- OH, THAT IS SO CUTE!

THIS IS WHY I BLOODY LOVE YOU.

- SHE'S YOUR SISTER, AND SHE
DESERVES TO HAVE YOU CLOSE.

AND YOU'RE PROBABLY HER ROCK.

- IF I DON'T LET THOSE
RESENTMENTS AND THAT ANGER GO...

- YOU'LL BE A DRUNK
IN THE CORNER SOMEWHERE.

[Indian music playing]

- THANK YOU.

- ADRIENNE AND PAUL
ARE SUING ME.

BUT I'VE HEARD FROM
EVERY, ACTUALLY, PERSON HERE

THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT.
- EXCEPT FROM ME.

- IT'S ABOUT MY KIDS,
AND IT'S ABOUT MY LIFE!

SERIOUSLY!
SO JUST SHUT THE [bleep] UP!

- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,