The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Higher the Heel, the Closer to God - full transcript
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- HELLO.
- I'M INVITING YOU ALL
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WELL... [chuckles]
- BRANDI, WHY DON'T YOU COME,
AND BRING YOUR BOYS?
- I WOULD LOVE TO, UM...
- THAT'S NICE.
- THANK YOU, VERY...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
[cork pops]
- YOLANDA, THIS IS KIM.
- HI, KIM. HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- WELL...
- ADRIENNE MALOOF.
- SHE'S GONNA SAY,
"I CAN'T MAKE...
I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT
BECAUSE..."
- "BECAUSE I WASN'T INVITED."
- TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING,
AND IF THAT WAS HER INTENTION,
THAT'S REALLY [bleep].
- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS
AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS,
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS,
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY, AND
I'M FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- HEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HI.
- HEY.
MWAH. HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG?
- UM, NO, I ACTUALLY
JUST GOT HERE.
SO... - HI!
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GREAT. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU.
WHAT IS SHE GONNA WANT
FOR HER BIRTHDAY?
IS SHE INTO CLOTHES?
- SHE LOVES CLOTHES.
- WHAT SIZE IS SHE?
- I ACTUALLY SAW... THIS IS WHAT
KENNEDY WAS WEARING YESTERDAY.
IT WAS SO CUTE.
- OH, I KNOW.
- SHE'S...
- THAT'S SO CUTE.
- THAT IS REALLY...
- OH, I LOVE THAT. OKAY.
- THAT IS ADORABLE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL GET THIS FOR HER. - OH...
AND WRAP IT. - SURE, SURE, SURE.
- ALSO, I WANT TO FIND
A PAIR OF SIZE 12 PANTS
FOR MY SON.
- FOR YOU?
- FOR MY SON.
- OH, I THOUGHT...
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
KIM ACTUALLY SHOPS IN HERE.
THESE CLOTHES FIT HER.
- I SHOP IN HERE SOMETIMES TOO.
[laughing] IT'S SO WEIRD.
- I WAS THINKING LIKE
A KIDS' SIZE 12.
YOU ARE SKINNY, YOU COULD DO IT.
- NO, BUT I MEAN... WELL, LOOK.
THERE ARE SOME CUTE THINGS
IN HERE.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- YEAH?
- OH, OKAY, SO...
- MIGHT AS WELL GET A TWO.
- SO ARE YOU GONNA CALL...
DID YOU DECIDE
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO ABOUT LISA?
- MM...
- ARE YOU GONNA CALL HER AND TRY
TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER?
- I DEFINITELY WANT TO HAVE
A TALK WITH HER.
I MEAN, I... I SHOULD.
I'VE WANTED TO.
UM...
I AM MORE THAN WILLING
TO APOLOGIZE TO LISA.
IS SHE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO ME?
DON'T THINK SO.
- I THINK SHE FEELS LIKE
SHE WAS WRONGED BY YOU,
AND THIS, HONESTLY,
IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- NO, NEVER.
- TO RADAR ONLINE?
- I DON'T HAVE TO, ADRIENNE.
- NO.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- NEVER SOLD A STORY.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH
A [bleep] INSULT.
- AT THIS POINT,
I FEEL THAT SHE'S, UM...
UM... VERY, UM...
IMMATURE.
SHE... I HAD NO IDEA
SHE COULD BE THIS IMMATURE.
TO ME, IT'S IMMATURE.
- I THINK, YOU KNOW,
SHE'S HIGHLY SENSITIVE,
AND IF SHE FEELS LIKE...
- I KNOW SHE'S SENSITIVE.
- YOU KNOW...
I MEAN, WE'RE ALL SENSITIVE,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
SOME PEOPLE HANDLE IT
BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
- WE'RE SENSITIVE AS WELL.
- IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR AN APOLOGY FOR HER...
- I'M...
- DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.
- I KNOW SHE'S NOT GOING
TO APOLOGIZE TO ME,
BUT THAT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
- I THINK ADRIENNE WENT TOO FAR
IN HER ARGUMENT WITH LISA.
I UNDERSTAND LISA BEING HURT.
AND I DON'T THINK THAT LISA
OWES ADRIENNE AN APOLOGY
IN THIS ARGUMENT.
- I JUST WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.
AND I THINK IT'S... YOU KNOW.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO WASTE
ANY MORE TIME.
IF WE'RE GONNA MEND
OUR FRIENDSHIP,
IT'S GONNA PROBABLY
HAVE TO BE ME,
'CAUSE IT WON'T BE HER.
[ice clinking]
- WILL THAT BE ENOUGH?
- UM, YEAH, JUST GO AHEAD
AND PUT ENOUGH
THAT IT KIND OF
WATERS IT DOWN A LITTLE,
SO IT'S NOT SO STRONG.
AND THEN MAKES IT COLD.
IS THAT GOOD?
- OKAY.
- WHATEVER YOU THINK.
- YOU TOOK YOUR SHOES OFF
AGAIN, PORTIA.
- I KNOW, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE CAR,
SHE TAKES HER SHOES OFF.
- YOU NEVER COME
WITH YOUR SHOES.
- SHE'S A HIPPIE.
- HIPPIE, HIPPIE.
HEY, DADDY. - HELLO?
- PUPPY...
- HI...
- SHE WENT RUNNING.
ANYBODY HOME? - HELLO?
- HI, KENNEDY.
- HI.
- MWAH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
CAN I HAVE A KISSY?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- MWAH!
- WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
HI, TAYLOR. - HEY, WAIT.
PORTIA, COME OVER HERE.
WHERE'S THE PUPPY?
- HI, DARLING.
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, BABE. HOW ARE YOU?
YOU GUYS LOOK SO NICE. - MWAH.
- I MADE MARGARITAS AND SANGRIA.
- YUM.
- IN HONOR OF YOU TWO,
SO YOU HAVE TO HELP ME...
- MUCHAS GRACIAS.
- IF IT DOESN'T TASTE GOOD.
- MY GOSH.
- WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON
OVER HERE.
- I'M DOING SPANISH FOOD
FOR YOU GUYS.
- SPANISH FOOD?
- WELL, MEXICAN FOOD,
SPANISH FOOD... - YUM.
- OH, WHATEVER. I DON'T KNOW.
- WHEN I SEE HER THERE COOKING
AND SEEMING TO ENJOY HERSELF,
I'M HAPPY.
I THINK, "OKAY,
MAYBE THIS IS A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION."
- OKAY.
THIS IS PRETTY.
- I LOVE HER HOUSE.
- OH! WE'RE COMING!
- YOU WANT TO GET IT?
- [laughs]
- DON'T LET 'EM IN!
DON'T LET 'EM IN!
- GOODNESS! HI!
- OH, MY GOD, LOOK HOW ELEGANT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- ARE WE BEING OBNOXIOUS?
- NO.
THIS IS THE PROBLEM WE'VE GOT
LIVING IN A GATED COMMUNITY.
- YOU GUYS...
- I KNOW, EXACTLY.
- THEY'LL JUST LET ANYBODY
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
- MWAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HI.
- HI. MWAH.
- WE'RE HAVING MEXICAN FOOD,
SO I THOUGHT I WOULD BE MEX...
YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE
A THEME PARTY.
- IT'S MY BEST. [laughter]
- THIS IS REALLY NICE.
OH, MY GOSH.
- SO COOL.
THIS LOOKS GOOD, TAYLOR.
- ALL RIGHT. [sizzling]
- WELL, THAT'S ALL
YOU'RE EATING?
- YEAH.
- IT'S DELICIOUS.
- LOOK.
- I KNOW.
- OH, MY GOD, MAN. COME ON, EAT.
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PLATE
IS THAT?
MY GOD. - OH, MY GOSH.
- JEEZ, PAUL.
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
IN LIFE.
- I REALLY CAN'T RECALL
SEEING ADRIENNE PIG OUT.
MAYBE ONCE IN OUR MARRIAGE.
I CAN'T RECALL THE EVENT.
IT DOESN'T COME TO MY MIND.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU.
THANKS, YOU GUYS.
- DOESN'T SHE LOOK AMAZING?
- I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU
PUT THAT WEIGHT BACK ON.
- THANK YOU. I FEEL BETTER.
- SHE WENT FROM A ZERO
TO A ZERO PLUS.
- NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- A ZERO AND A HALF.
MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE.
- BUT, YOU KNOW,
SPEAKING OF LOOKING GOOD,
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO ASK YOU GUYS.
I HAVE A FAVOR.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY, FOR ONCE,
NOT FROM YOU TWO.
IT'S FROM YOU TWO.
- FROM US TWO?
- REALLY?
- OKAY.
- MM-HMM.
- WHAT'S UP?
- SO YOU KNOW THAT I...
AM ON WHAT I THINK
IS PROBABLY MY LIFE'S MISSION
IN SPEAKING OUT ABOUT,
AHEM, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
AND REALLY SPREADING
THE WORD ABOUT...
ABOUT THAT.
- SO THERE'S AN ORGANIZATION,
AND THEY HAVE EVENTS
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY,
AND IT'S CALLED WALK A MILE.
AND SO I'M GONNA ASK
THE TWO OF YOU
TO WALK A MILE.
- AS LONG AS WE CAN COMPETE
AND RUN.
- IN OUR SHOES.
- IN OUR SHOE... [gasps]
- WHAT? all: OHH!
- WAIT, I'M NOT WEARING
THOSE SHOES THAT SHE'S WEARING.
- OH, MY GOD!
- THAT'S SEVEN-INCH HEELS.
I'M NOT DOING THAT.
- I LOVE THAT.
- [laughs]
- DID YOU...
- YOU'RE GONNA WALK A MILE...
- YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
- IN HIGH HEELS.
- NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- BUT CAN YOU WEAR THOSE...
WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS
CALLED, ADRIENNE?
THOSE, UM...
- BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT.
- THOSE LITTLE,
SHORT HEEL THINGS?
- TOE... KID HEELS?
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. [laughter]
- THESE GUYS ARE WEARING SOCKS.
[indistinct chatter]
- YOU KNOW WHY THEY'RE
ALL WEARING SOCKS,
IS IT HURTS TOO MUCH.
OH, MY GOD.
I'M HOPING TO GET, YOU KNOW,
SOME LITTLE, ITTY BITTY HEELS.
[laughing] I'M VERY NERVOUS.
- I AM SO EXCITED.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA...
- HOW MANY... HOW MANY
YEARS HAVE I SAID...
- YES.
- "SCOTT, IF YOU COULD..."
- [mocking]
"ONLY WALK IN MY SHOES."
WOULD HAVE BEEN 1,000 TIMES.
- MAURICIO AND PAUL
WALKING IN HIGH HEELS...
OH... MY GOSH. I CANNOT WAIT.
- WHEN IS IT?
- COMPETITIVENESS, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- IT'S SOON.
IT'S ON SATURDAY, IN SACRAMENTO.
- YOU KNOW, I HAVE AN ISSUE.
SAME DAY AS PORTIA'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- THIS IS? OH, OKAY.
- WAIT A MINUTE. SO THE TIME...
WAI-WAI-WAI-WAIT.
WHAT TIME IS PORTIA'S BIRTHDAY?
1:00?
- 12:00, SATURDAY THE 28TH.
- AND...
- IT STARTS EARLY.
IT'S LIKE AN 8:00, 9:00 A.M...
- SO HOW CAN WE DO THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- CAN WE LOOK INTO MAKING IT
A LITTLE LATER OR NO?
- I CAN'T... I DON'T
THINK I CAN CHANGE THE DATE.
BUT I CAN MAYBE MOVE THE TIME,
AND, SAY, INSTEAD OF 12:00,
IT'S...
- YEAH.
- I CANNOT MOVE THE DATE
OF OUR BIRTHDAY PARTY,
BUT I WILL MOVE IT
A COUPLE HOURS
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN GO
AND STILL MAKE IT BACK
IN TIME FOR PORTIA'S PARTY.
- HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
IT'LL TAKE YOU GUYS
TO WALK A MILE IN HEELS?
- WELL, I CAN WALK A MILE,
PROBABLY, IN...
- A COUPLE OF DAYS.
- IN HIGH HEELS?
- HONEY, DON'T ACT LIKE
YOU'RE SUCH A PROFESSIONAL,
FOR GOD'S SAKES.
- WELL, I MEAN, WHAT,
LIKE 15 MINUTES, MAYBE?
- 15 MINUTES!
- DUDE...
HOUR AND A HALF, TWO HOURS.
- GOOD LUCK GETTING
FROM HERE TO THE DOOR.
- COMING UP...
- YOU'RE WALKING DUCK-FOOTED.
[laughing] THIS IS...
- COME ON.
- SO THIS IS WHERE WE'RE GOING?
- YES, YES, YES.
- "THE HIGHEST HEEL IN TOWN"?
OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT DO I ALWAYS SAY?
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WHAT, "HIGH HEELS MEANS
YOU'RE CLOSER TO HEAVEN,"
OR SOMETHING?
- NO, THE HIGHER THE HEEL...
THE CLOSER TO GOD.
SO... - HOW ARE YOU? I'M PAUL.
- I'M MAYA.
- MAYA, ADRIENNE.
- HI. I'M MAYA.
- HI, THANK YOU.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU...
- JEEZ.
- WHAT SIZE ARE YOU?
- A 9 1/2 MALE, THOUGH.
NOT 9 1/2 GIRLS SHOE.
A... A MEN'S SHOE.
- IT'S GONNA BE LIKE 12, 13.
- 12, 13?
- UH-HUH.
- I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR
A HEEL LIKE THAT?
- LET'S LOOK.
- HERE, HERE'S A HIGH HEEL.
RIGHT HERE, ADRIENNE. LOOK.
- [laughing] NO, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
- WELL, I CAN WALK IN THAT.
'CAUSE THAT HELL'S
NOT THAT POINTY.
- THE DOROTHY SHOE.
HERE, PLEASE.
- DO YOU HAVE THOSE?
- ENJOY. ARE YOU KIDDING?
- YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
I'M NOT GONNA WALK
IN A SHOE LIKE THAT.
- THIS STORE COULD BE
A PLACE FOR WOMEN
TO BUY HIGH HEELS FOR PARTIES,
DRAG QUEENS... WHO KNOWS?
- WHY DON'T YOU TRY THESE?
MAYA, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THESE?
- OKAY.
- IT'S A [indistinct].
- HOW THE HECK AM I GONNA
COMPLETE A MILE
IN THESE SHOES?
I'M SCARED.
SHOW MY BEAUTIFUL CALVES.
- WITH THE BLACK SOCKS
AND THOSE SHOES...
- THIS IS NICE. THAT'S FINE.
- WELL, LET ME FIX THIS PART.
WAIT A MINUTE. - [snickers]
- ALL RIGHT.
- NOW, OKAY.
STAND UP. - [exhales]
- IT'S A LOT OF WORK, ISN'T IT?
- SO NOW YOU KNOW
WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- READY TO WALK?
- GOOD. FEEL IT.
- LET ME JUST FEEL THIS.
- [laughing] OH, GOD.
- PROBLEM IS THEY HURT
AROUND THE TOP OF THE...
- THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
- PAUL, YOU'RE WALKING
DUCK-FOOTED.
- JUST...
- YOU'RE WALKING DUCK-FOOTED.
[laughing] THIS IS...
- WALK ON YOUR TOES.
- [laughing]
AFTER A LITTLE BIT
OF TIME, THOUGH,
I GOT A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE
HE STARTED GETTING PRETTY GOOD
AT WALKING IN HIGH HEELS.
HMM.
- THIS IS LIKE A FLAT.
JUST WALK REGULAR.
- OH, THAT'S TOO EASY FOR HIM
IF IT'S LIKE A FLAT.
NOT FAIR.
- THESE ARE JUST LIKE
WALKING ON STILTS.
- SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THE SILVER ON THE RIGHT.
I DON'T THINK
HE'S GONNA LAST LONG
IN THE DOROTHY SHOES.
SO THE MOON BOOTS SEEM TO BE
THE APPROPRIATE SHOE.
- I THINK WE SHOULD GET YOU
A PAIR OF SHOES TO MATCH ME.
- I'M NOT WALKING WITH YOU.
- BUT, YEAH, BUT...
BUT IF YOU'RE ON THE SIDELINE,
CHEERING FOR ME,
I THINK, IF YOU DO THAT,
THEY'LL BE VERY SUPPORTIVE
OF ME.
- REALLY?
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WELL, WHICH ONES, THOUGH?
- WHICH IS YOUR SIZE, THEN?
- THESE, OF COURSE.
- YEAH, YOU...
- I WANT TO BE TALL.
COURSE I'M GONNA WANT THESE.
- OKAY.
- WE CAN WEAR THOSE
FOR HALLOWEEN, TOO, NEXT YEAR.
- [laughs]
- OOPS.
THANKS, ALBERTO.
I'LL BE LIKE
AN HOUR OR SO, OKAY?
- OKAY.
- HI, LOVE.
- HI, MAMA.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOUR FAVORITE DRINK.
- THANKS.
- HOW IS IT?
- IT'S GOOD.
- DID I GET THE RIGHT ONE?
- YEAH. IS IT HOT OUTSIDE?
- UH, NO, IT'S KIND OF OVERCAST.
- OH, 'CAUSE IT MELTED
A LITTLE BIT.
- YEAH, IT... WELL, IT TOOK ME
45 MINUTES TO GET HERE.
HOW ARE YOU, GIRL? - GOOD.
- GIGI HAS BEEN MODELING
SINCE SHE'S MAYBE...
THREE YEARS OLD.
I WENT, YOU KNOW, TO FORT,
NEW YORK MODELS, ELITE.
I MEAN, I VISITED ALL
THE BIG MODELING AGENCIES,
AND SHE WALKED OUT
WITH A CONTRACT
FROM EVERY AGENCY IN NEW YORK.
GIGI'S GOT IT. SHE'S TAKING OFF.
I MEAN, SHE JUST DID THE BIG
FALL CAMPAIGN FOR GUESS.
AND TODAY, SHE'S DOING
AN AD FOR EUROPE.
YOU EXCITED ABOUT
YOUR BIRTHDAY TONIGHT?
- YEAH, I'M SO EXCITED.
- GONNA HAVE FUN?
SEE ALL YOUR FRIENDS. - YEAH.
I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE FIT.
PRETTY MUCH ALL THE FOOD
THAT WE'RE EATING
IS LIKE A HEART ATTACK
IN A MEAL.
IT'S LIKE...
BUT IT'S GONNA BE SO GOOD.
- THAT'S GOOD. YOU CAN HAVE
ONE NIGHT OF BEING BAD.
- YEAH, I WAS ACTUALLY
REALLY GOOD THIS WEEK.
- YEAH. AND NOW YOU GOTTA
GET BACK ON YOUR DIET, THOUGH.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
IN PARIS AND MILAN,
THEY LIKE THE GIRLS JUST A TAD
ON THE SKINNY SIDE.
- YEAH, I'M SCARED.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE
A STAGE MOM,
BECAUSE I THINK THAT IS
A VERY UNATTRACTIVE, UH,
YOU KNOW, THING TO BE.
SO I'M JUST TRYING TO BE
HER MENTAL SUPPORT.
YOU KNOW, I WANT HER TO BE
THE BEST SHE CAN BE.
UM, DO... DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT SHE'S GONNA BE WEARING?
- MOMMY, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
THEY'LL... THEY'LL GIVE IT TO ME
WHEN I NEED TO GET DRESSED.
- DID YOU...
- NO, BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF I'M GETTING DRESSED
RIGHT NOW.
- YOU KNOW,
I'VE TRAVELED THE WORLD.
I'VE HAD A MODELING AGENCY
IN EVERY MAJOR,
BIG CITY IN THE WORLD,
FROM TOKYO TO PARIS
TO MILAN TO LONDON
TO NEW YORK.
SO I'VE BEEN THERE.
I'VE BEEN WHERE GIGI'S GOING.
SO I THINK THAT MY...
MY ADVICE IS VALID.
CAN WE DO SOMETHING
KIND OF SEXY FOR HER?
JUST SO WE, UH...
SHOWS OFF HER LEGS REALLY WELL.
- YEAH. OKAY.
- OH, YEAH.
- THAT'S A CUTE OUTFIT
YOU'RE WEARING.
- NO, IT'S NOT GUESS.
- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO SAY THAT.
HELLO!
[laughter]
- HEY, KID.
- WOULD YOU ROUND GIGI'S EYES
A LITTLE BIT ON THE SIDES, SO...
BECAUSE OF HER HIGH EYEBROWS,
BECAUSE IT MAKES HER
LOOK CHINESE REALLY QUICK.
- YEAH, SURE.
- YEAH?
I'M TRYING NOT
TO GET TOO INVOLVED
IN HER MAKEUP.
I'VE GIVEN HER TIPS,
SAYING, YOU KNOW,
"IF YOU'RE WITH A MAKEUP ARTIST,
"TELL HER TO DO A LITTLE...
"KEEP YOUR EYES
ALWAYS ROUND AND BIG,
SO THEY POP."
NOT THE CHINESE LOOKING,
YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE THAT'S NOT
GOOD FOR HER FACE.
- OKAY, SO STAND IN
THE CENTER OF THE PLEXIGLAS.
GREAT. LET'S GET
A LITTLE BIT OF FAN GOING.
PERFECT.
[camera clicking] GREAT.
NOW, I WANT YOU STRONG,
AND I WANT YOU COMING TOWARD ME.
[upbeat music] NICE.
BEAUTIFUL.
GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN.
GOOD. OH, MY GOD, IT WAS GREAT.
I THINK SHE NEEDS
A LITTLE HELP WITH IT.
- YOUR EYES OKAY, LOVE?
DO YOU WANT EYE DROPS?
- KILLING HER WITH THE FAN.
- YEAH, IT'S JUST THE FAN.
EVERY TIME IT... - YEAH.
- DO YOU WANT SOME EYE DROPS?
- NO, IT'S...
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.
IT'S JUST...
- NO, I KNOW IT'S THE WIND.
BUT SOMETIMES, IF YOU PUT
SOME DROPS INSIDE,
IT CALMS DOWN...
- IT'LL MOISTURIZE IT.
- OKAY, YOU SHOULD
GO AND FIX IT.
'CAUSE IT KIND OF LOOKS
FUNNY ON CAMERA
THAT YOU KEEP, UH...
[sniffles and laughs]
JUST GO AND FIX IT
IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR.
PUT A LITTLE EYE DROP IN IT.
WHEN I WAS MODELING,
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT
AT ALL.
I WAS FLYING ALL OVER THE WORLD,
YOU KNOW, BUT I WAS ON MY OWN.
- EVERYTHING LOOK OKAY?
- YES.
- IT'S ALL OKAY?
ARE WE ALL IN CHECK?
- YES.
- OKAY, GOOD. GOOD.
- GOOD JOB.
- WANNA MAKE SURE YOU APPROVE.
- YEAH.
- BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL.
THERE YOU GO.
VERY BOLD AND STRONG. LOVE IT.
GOOD.
VERY NICE. I THINK WE GOT THAT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- OH, NO WORRIES.
- CAN I JUST LOOK AT THESE?
- SURE. ABSOLUTELY.
- GREAT.
WELL, THAT ONE WASN'T THAT GOOD.
- YEAH.
- THE FIRST ONE.
[laughing]
- LOOK AT THESE.
IT'S CUTE, NO?
- SHE'S A NATURAL.
SHE WAS BRED FOR THIS.
- THERE YOU GO.
- [laughs]
RIGHT?
GOOD JOB, BABY.
I LOVE YOU. I'M GONNA GO HOME.
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
OKAY?
- I WILL.
- MAKE MONEY,
SO YOU CAN BUY
YOUR FIRST APARTMENT
IN NEW YORK CITY.
- YEAH.
- BYE-BYE.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOD.
HELLO. WHAT'S UP, MY BROTHER?
- HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?
- SO, UH, YOU READY?
- I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THE SHOES YOU PICKED.
- I GOT THE, UM, THE CHARITY...
YOU KNOW, GIVING ME
A COUPLE OF CHOICES.
SO I MIGHT BE LIKE...
I HAVE NO CHOICE. - REALLY?
- LIKE IT MIGHT BE SUPER SCARY.
WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE CHARITY GIVING YOU CHOICES?
- 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME...
- I DIDN'T HAVE TIME
TO GO SHOPPING.
YOU MEAN,
YOU HAD TIME TO GO SHOPPING?
- YES.
- YEAH, WE WENT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW...
- YES, WE MADE
A WHOLE EVENT OUT OF IT.
- I HOPE PAUL DOES BETTER
WITH ME IN HIGH HEELS.
[laughs]
THIS IS NOT ONE I NEED TO WIN.
- OH, MY GOD!
- WHOO HOO!
[laughter]
- UNBELIEVABLE!
- THAT IS... [clapping]
- HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
- SEXY, MAN.
- THAT'S PART ONE.
- AFTER ABOUT A BLOCK, HE...
- AND HERE'S YOUR... TOO.
- OH, MY GOD! [laughter]
WELL, THE PLATFORM, I THINK
IS GONNA BE EASIER TO WALK IN.
- OH, YOU'RE GONNA BE SEXY
IN THOSE, PAUL.
- I KNOW.
- SEXY.
- THOSE AREN'T HIGH HEELS.
I MEAN, THAT'S JUST LIKE
AN ELEVATED BOOT.
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT, UH,
KISS WEARS WHEN THEY
GO UP AND SING.
YOU KNOW, THE ROCK STARS.
- TELL US HOW THE EVENT WAS
THE OTHER NIGHT.
- IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, I MEAN...
- IT WAS NICE.
- IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THAT RESTAURANT
LOOKED REALLY NICE.
- NOW, DID ANYTHING
GET MENTIONED
DURING THE EVENT?
WAS THERE ANY, YOU KNOW,
COMMENTS MADE?
ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW, OR...
LIKE, YOU KNOW,
"WHERE WERE THEY?"
- I DON'T THINK ANYTHING OTHER
THAN JUST THE FLOWERS AND STUFF.
- YOU FORGOT TO INVITE HER.
- NO, I DIDN'T.
WE... NOT IN A GREAT SPACE,
TO BE HONEST.
- IT WAS A COMMENT
THAT WAS MADE ON BOTH SIDES.
AND THEY PROBABLY WEREN'T
THE BEST COMMENTS.
YOU KNOW, ON BOTH SIDES,
AND THAT'S IT.
- IMAGINE, YOU HAVE A GROUP
OF FRIENDS,
AND YOU HAVE YOUR
OPINIONATED PEOPLE.
YOU HAVE STRONG PEOPLE,
AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU'RE GONNA SAY SOMETHING
THAT PISSES THE OTHER ONE OFF.
I MEAN, YOU GOTTA BE ABLE
TO GET PAST IT, TOO.
IT'S NOT...
- AND MOVE ON.
- AND, BY THE WAY,
THE PHONE RINGS BOTH WAYS.
- OF COURSE.
- SHE ALSO,
I FEEL, OWES ME AN APOLOGY.
- I'M EXTREMELY UPSET
THE WAY THAT,
YOU KNOW, THE WAY
SHE TREATED YOU AND US.
YOU KNOW.
- COMING UP...
- HAVE YOU GOT A DIAPER?
- SHE'S NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
[laughter]
- OKAY, THE PARTY'S STARTED!
[balloons squeaking]
- PORTIA?
COME HERE, I WANT YOU
TO FINISH GETTING READY!
[Portia grunting]
- OH, LOOK AT YOU.
OKAY. COME OVER HERE FOR NOW.
GOOD.
HI, HONEY.
- HI.
- ANY MORE DELIVERIES COME?
- THAT'S PRETTY.
- DOESN'T THAT LOOK CUTE?
PORTIA, DO YOU WANT
TO SEE YOUR DAD WIN
IN SPARKLY HIGH HEELS?
- THEY'RE SPARKLY?
- THAT'S WHAT TAYLOR SAID.
MAYBE SHE'S JOKING.
I'M REALLY PROUD THAT MAURICIO
OFFERED TO BE THERE FOR TAYLOR,
BUT IF HE DOESN'T
MAKE IT BACK IN TIME
FOR PORTIA'S PARTY,
THAT HIGH HEEL
IS GONNA BE RIGHT UP HIS ASS.
- LET'S GO, BIRTHDAY GIRL.
WHOO!
DON'T SMUDGE YOUR NAILS.
- OKAY.
- GOTTA BE A BIG GIRL.
OH.
OH, MY GOD!
ARE THOSE THE PONIES?
OHH, THEY'RE SO CUTE.
THESE ARE NOT UNICORNS.
ARE YOU WITH THE... HORSES?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- ARE THEY GONNA BE,
ONE, LIKE UNICORN?
- YEAH, YEAH, WE HAVE,
LIKE, A LITTLE...
UNICORN THINGS IN THE...
- TO PUT ON THEM?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- OKAY, 'CAUSE MY DAUGHTER'S
REALLY EXPECTING A UNICORN.
- OKAY.
- THAT IS NOT A UNICORN.
AND THEY'RE DEFINITELY
NOT GONNA BE FLYING,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA
BE LIKE
LITTLE WHITE UNICORN.
- I THINK THEY WERE...
ITS' LIKE A BIG PONY.
- EH, YOU KNOW.
THAT'S GOOD.
THE BIGGER THE BETTER.
- HOW DO I EXPLAIN
A BROWN UNICORN?
- BROWN IS LIKE THE NEW WHITE.
- YOU THE PHOTO BOOTH?
HOW YOU DOIN'?
- GOOD. HOW YOU DOIN'?
- GOOD.
- GLEN!
I DON'T SEE WHERE WE'RE GONNA...
WHERE WE GONNA PUT THE ANIMALS?
- LET ME GET IT TOGETHER.
- WHERE THEY GOING? RIGHT HERE?
- I DON'T KNOW YET.
I'M FIGURING OVER HERE.
- ARE YOU WINGING IT RIGHT NOW?
- WE'RE WINGING IT.
- IS THIS ENOUGH SPACE
FOR THE UNICORNS TO WALK?
ARE THEY GONNA POOP
ALL OVER MY TENNIS COURT?
- IT'LL PROBABLY HOSE OFF.
- AAH! A BEE!
YOU EXCITED ABOUT YOUR PARTY?
LOOK. - YEAH.
- DOESN'T IT LOOK CUTE?
IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY
SHE WAS BORN.
SHE'S GROWING SO FAST,
AND I REALLY WANT TO ENJOY
EVERY MOMENT
THAT I HAVE WITH HER.
I DON'T WANT TO MISS A BEAT.
- WHO COULD BE WITH ME
IN THERE, MAMA?
- WHO COULD BE WITH YOU
IN WHERE?
THE JUMPY? - MM-HMM.
- I'LL GO WITH YOU IN THERE.
- OKAY.
- BUT I HAVE SOME WORK
TO DO FIRST, OKAY?
- NO.
- YES.
I HAVE TO GET YOUR PARTY READY.
- NO.
- YES.
- NO. I HAVE TO.
- NO.
- WELL, WHO ELSE IS GONNA DO IT?
- [giggles]
[crowd cheering]
- WELL, LOOK AT ALL THE...
MY GOODNESS.
THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE.
OH, BOY.
- LOOK AT MINE.
- ALL RIGHT! LET'S DO THIS.
- WELL, COME ON, ADRIENNE.
KEEP UP.
- OKAY,
YOU WAIT. - COME ON!
- I CAN'T WAIT
TO SAY THAT TO YOU.
OHH, BOY.
- ARE YOU GETTING NERVOUS?
- [laughing] I... LOOK AT THIS.
[laughter]
- I WAS SHOCKED AT HOW MANY
PEOPLE WERE THERE.
I MEAN, IT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE
SUPPORTING THIS,
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS JUST
REALLY GREAT AND COOL.
- THIS YOUNG MAN
NEEDS SOME SHOES.
- OKAY.
- HERE WE GO.
- I KIND OF LIKE
THE SILVER OR THE RED.
- LET'S GO CLIMB ON AND SEE.
- ARE THOSE GOLD, TOO? OKAY.
- YEAH.
- YOU GOTTA WEAR HEELS.
- HERE, YOU GOTTA
WEAR YOURS, ADRIENNE.
[chuckling]
- OKAY, I'M WEARING MINE
IN SUPPORT OF MY HUSBAND.
- THAT IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM.
- THEN IF THAT'S THE CASE...
- YOU NEED A BIGGER SIZE.
- I NEED A MUCH BIGGER SIZE.
OUCH. SON OF A BITCH.
- LOOK AT THE GLITTER.
THE GLITTER'S EVERYWHERE.
[laughter] - OH, MY GOD.
THEY WON'T EVEN COME OFF. - 14?
- TA-DA!
- ACTUALLY FELL.
- OH, I LOVE IT.
- WAIT A MINUTE, YOU'RE WEARING
THE SILVER, RIGHT?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD ON.
HE, BUDDY... - MAN.
[laughter]
- OH... MY GOSH.
- OF COURSE PAUL HAS
BETTER LEGS.
A LITTLE HAIRY,
BUT DEFINITELY BETTER LEGS.
[laughter]
- GONNA WEAR ONE OF EACH?
- NO LUCK! [overlapping chatter]
- OH, YEAH. WEAR ONE OF EACH.
- YOU GOTTA WEAR THE TALL ONES.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
I LIKE THE HEIGHT.
- AH, YOU LOOK GOOD.
- THIS IS GONNA BE SO PAINFUL.
MY TOES ARE
GETTING CRUNCHED HERE.
- OH, LOOK, YOUR GIFT
MATCHES YOUR SHIRT.
HOW FUNNY IS THAT?
- I KNOW THAT LISA AND ADRIENNE
ARE BOTH GOING TO BE NERVOUS
ABOUT COMING TO MY HOUSE
FOR PORTIA'S PARTY.
I KNOW THEM.
- HELLO!
- OH, MY GOSH. LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
YOU LOOK LIKE A PICTURE.
- EVERYTHING GOOD?
- YEAH. YOU'RE SO EARLY.
- NO, I KNOW, BUT I HAVE
TO LEAVE BY 1:15, REMEMBER?
- WHY?
- OH, LOOK.
I TOLD YOU, I HAVE, UM, A WINE...
WINE PRESENTATION
AT VILLA BLANCA AT 1:20.
I CAN'T CHANGE IT.
- MAYBE IT'S TRUE.
MAYBE SHE'S TRYING
TO AVOID ADRIENNE.
LOOK AT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!
- OHH!
- WHOO!
- OH, SHE'S SO CUTE.
OH, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
- PORTIA, LET ME SEE.
CAN YOU MODEL FOR ME?
- YEAH.
- [gasps]
- YOU LOOK LIKE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL.
- SHE KEEPS LOOKING
AT THE FEATHERS LIKE,
OH, THAT IS ADORABLE.
OH, MY GOSH.
SO CUTE... LOOK AT HER.
SHE'S SO HAPPY.
LOOK AT HER.
- YOU'RE GONNA GO NEXT...
- COTTON CANDY.
- TO THE ANIMALS.
- HUH? WHERE?
YOU'VE GOT PETTING ZOO?
- I HAVE A LLAMA COMING IN.
- WHEN'S HE COMING?
- THINGS DIDN'T MAKE OUT
WITH MY UNICORN.
THEY'RE COMING THROUGH.
YOU WANNA COME SEE THEM? - YEAH.
- COME LOOK. OKAY, COME ALONG.
PLEASE LOOK.
- OHH! WHAT?
IS THIS A FRIENDLY TYPE OF GUY?
- YES, YOU CAN MAKE OUT
WITH HIM ALL YOU WANT.
- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR MYSELF WITH THIS GUY.
CAN I... CAN I...
- THIS IS PRECIOUS.
- CAN I MAKE OUT WITH HIM
A LITTLE BIT?
- SURE.
- OH, HE'S SO SWEET.
CAN I TAKE HIM FOR A WALK?
- UM, YOU CAN TRY.
- HAVE YOU GOT A LEAD?
- NO, WE JUST HOLD ON TO IT
RIGHT HERE.
- JUST TAKE IT BY THE TEETH.
- THIS COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
[cheering]
- LET'S DO IT!
- WAIT A MINUTE.
THESE ARE NOT EASY.
- IT HURTS, MAN.
OHH. - HA!
- HOW FAR DO WE HAVE TO GO?
- HERE.
- OHH. WHEW.
AT LEAST WE'RE
PASSING SOME PEOPLE.
CHECK THIS OUT.
WE'RE GOING WAY FASTER.
OHH, SON OF A BITCH.
I'M TAKING OFF.
- OHH...
HO HO!
[laughs]
- WELL, PAUL, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF CHEATED,
YOU KNOW, WITH THOSE SHOES.
I MEAN, DEFINITELY A UNFAIR
ADVANTAGE THAT PAUL HAD ON ME,
WEARING THOSE SHOES.
- I'M JUMPING ON YOUR BACK.
HYUH! [both laugh]
- OKAY.
- JUST KEEP A GOOD HOLD
RIGHT THERE.
- OKAY. OH! WHOA. WHOA, WHOA.
OKAY, I'M BOSS NOW.
LET'S BE CALM.
- THERE YOU GO.
- [gasps]
OHH.
COME ON, WE'RE OFF
TO BEVERLY HILLS
WITH A BLANKET... HERE WE GO.
- LISA, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE
TAKING THAT INTO MY HOUSE...
- HERE WE GO.
- GIDDYUP! GIDDYUP.
- WE'RE GATHERING A LITTLE BIT
OF SPEED HERE.
COME ON.
IS SHE GOING OUT THE BACK?
- SHE IS NOT GOING
THROUGH MY HOUSE. LISA!
- HAVE YOU GOT A DIAPER?
- SHE IS NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
[laughing]
SHE IS NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
LISA, IF MAURICIO SAW THIS
ON MY HARDWOOD FLOORS...
- WHY IS HE GONNA SEE IT?
HE'S RUNNING AROUND
IN LADIES' UNDERWEAR...
- WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE?
- IN HIGH HEELS.
DOES HE KNOW WHAT HE'S MISSING?
- OH, MY GOD, HIS FEET.
- OKAY, THE PARTY'S STARTED!
[laughter]
THE PARTY'S STARTED.
- PORTIA! LOOK!
- PORTIA, PRESENT FOR YOU.
- WHEN LISA HAS HER FIRST
HOUSEWARMING PARTY,
I'M BRINGING AN ELEPHANT.
AND NO POOPER SCOOPER.
- OH, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
WITH THE PIG?
- COME ON, PORTIA.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GO OUT AND RELAX,
AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE,
OR A HALF A GLASS OF WINE.
- I REALLY THOUGHT THAT
PORTIA'S PARTY
WAS NEUTRAL GROUND...
A PERFECT PLACE
FOR LISA AND ADRIENNE
TO SAY, "HI, HOW ARE YOU,"
AND JUST BREAK THE ICE
AND PUT ALL THIS RIDICULOUSNESS
BEHIND THEM.
- I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA
SNEAK OFF SOON.
BUT MAYBE, UM...
- I'M NOT SNEAKING OFF.
IT'S REALLY A LONGSTANDING...
THEY'VE COME FROM NAPA VALLEY.
I CAN'T CHANGE IT.
- BUT WILL YOU...
IF I DO A DINNER HERE WEDNESDAY,
WILL YOU COME AND YOU
AND ADRIENNE CAN ALL SIT DOWN
AND YOU GUYS CAN TALK?
I KNOW... I KNOW YOU WANTED TO...
- OH, I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO GO INTO IT AGAIN.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THAT?
- JUST SO WE CAN
MOVE PAST THIS, SO WE...
- WELL, THAT IS... BUT WHY
DO YOU NEED TO GET INVOLVED
IN THE MIDDLE OF IT?
YOU DON'T NEED TO.
- I'M JUST...
- MAYBE I... NO, IT'S OKAY.
YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO.
IT'S NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.
I THINK THAT'S WHEN
THINGS GO AWRY,
WHEN OTHER PEOPLE STEP IN.
- IT'S NOT THAT I'M TRYING
TO MEDDLE.
IT'S THAT I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA END UP TALKING,
SO I THOUGHT IF I DID THIS
ON NEUTRAL GROUND AT MY HOUSE...
- NO, DON'T GET INVOLVED,
DARLING... IT'S FINE.
SHE SENT THE FLOWERS. IT'S OKAY.
I DON'T WANT TO GET
INTO A WHOLE THING.
EVERYBODY GETS INVOLVED
AND EVERYBODY STARTS SCREAMING
AND CHARGING... - NO, IT'S NOT...
- I DON'T WANT TO...
I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN THAT.
REALLY, I'VE GOT SO MUCH
GOING ON IN MY LIFE.
IT'S FINE.
BUT THANK YOU ANYWAY.
- OKAY.
- YOU TRIED.
- I'M TRYING.
I JUST WANT YOU GUY... I MEAN,
I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE OKAY,
AND EVERYBODY
TO BE HAPPY, AND...
NOT HAVE ANYBODY UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I KNOW SHE MEANS WELL.
BUT THIS IS BETWEEN
ADRIENNE AND I.
END OF STORY.
- YEAH, BYE. MWAH, MWAH.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
HAVE LOTS OF FUN, OKAY?
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- WHEN'S MAURICIO, UM...
TAKING HIS HIGH HEELS OFF...
WHAT TIME IS HE COMING BACK?
- WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE'LL BE
WEARING THEM PERMANENTLY NOW.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.
- [laughing]
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.
[chatter and laughter]
[scattered cheers]
- GOD, I LOVE THIS HEIGHT.
CAN I ALWAYS STAY,
LIKE, THIS HIGH?
- YOU'RE FINALLY AS TALL
AS I AM.
[cheers and applause]
- WE'RE DOIN' IT.
- WE'RE DOIN' IT.
[laughter and cheers]
- WAY TO GO!
- THANK YOU!
- [laughing]
- GREAT.
I THINK PAUL GOT OFF TOO EASY.
- I DID IT.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- MY FEET WERE NOT MEANT
TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS.
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S FEET
ARE MEANT TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS.
AND THE CHOICE OF DOING THAT
IS JUST A BAD CHOICE.
- THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
- THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
- [laughing]
- COMING UP...
- I HAVE SO MUCH
ANXIETY RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER FELT LIKE THIS.
- REALLY?
- [sighs]
- KNOCK-KNOCK.
I'M REALLY, REALLY ANXIOUS
ARRIVING AT PORTIA'S PARTY,
BECAUSE I KNOW LISA'S
NOT GONNA BE THERE.
AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF I
HAVE ANY OTHER GO-TOS
THAT WILL BE THERE.
- MAKING SURE THE DRINKS
GET OUT HERE.
- HELLO!
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
- LOOK AT YOUR GLASSES.
- I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- THIS IS FOR PORTIA.
- OH, YOU'RE SO SWEET.
THAT'S SWEET. THANK YOU.
- UM, I CAN'T STAY VERY LONG.
AND... I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT JUST, YOU KNOW,
SOCIALIZING AND... - NO.
- YEAH.
- WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS?
- YEAH, UM...
- IT'S A KIDS' PARTY.
- I KNOW.
- NOBODY'S GONNA BE...
- [laughing] I... THAT'S
WHAT I NEVER KNOW.
- NO, THEY'LL BE...
- IT'S A CRAZY GROUP.
- BOTH, THERE'S JUST...
WE JUST NEED MORE OUT THERE.
HI! LOOK HOW GORGEOUS YOU LOOK.
HOW ARE YOU? - THANK YOU!
OH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD SEEING YOU.
HI, SWEETIE! HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE...
- YOU LOOK AMAZING.
- THANK YOU.
- WOW.
YOU LOOK... LOOK AT THIS.
I LOVE IT. - THANK YOU.
- EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
LISA WAS JUST HERE.
BUT THEN SHE LEFT
BEFORE PAUL AND ADRIENNE
GET HERE.
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
- SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
- ARE THEY... THEY NOT CONNECTED?
I MEAN, COME ON.
- THEY STILL HAVEN'T CONNECTED.
- IT'S LIKE
THEY HAVE TO GET OVER IT.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD.
- WELL, THE OTHER NIGHT, UM,
WE WERE AT SOMETHING
FOR THAT VILLA BLANCA,
AND ADRIENNE ACTUALLY
SET LISA FLOWERS.
- WELL, THAT'S NICE.
- WHICH WAS A BIG STEP.
YOU KNOW. - HUGE STEP, YES.
- "I'M SORRY," BUT OBVIOUSLY
THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
IN PERSON TOO.
- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY...
AFTER EVERYTHING
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH...
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH...
THAT WE...
- I KNOW.
- THE GIRLS CAN'T COME TOGETHER.
- I'M SURE THEY WILL.
IT'S JUST THAT INITIAL
BREAKING THE ICE.
- YEAH, BREAKING THE ICE
IS SO HARD.
- NOBODY WANTS TO DO THAT.
OH, WELL, AT LEAST
YOU GUYS ARE HERE TODAY.
- I KNOW, I'M JUST SO HAPPY
TO BE HERE.
- OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- I WISH I COULD SAY
TO ALL THESE GIRLS,
"LOOK AT CAMILLE AND ME.
HOW FAR WE'VE COME."
IT'S ANNOYING TO ME
THAT ALL THE ADULTS HERE
ARE ACTING MORE CHILDISH
THAN PORTIA AND HER FRIENDS.
HELLO! GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- MWAH!
- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- OKAY.
- NOW CAN WE GO?
- YEAH.
- OH! WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS A PRESENT
FOR THE BABY FROM YOLANDA.
- OH! THAT'S SO SWEET.
IS YOLANDA HERE?
- UH, I'M AFRAID
SHE'S NOT COMING.
- SHE CAN'T MAKE IT?
- NO.
- OHH, THAT WAS SO SWEET.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
PORTIA, LOOK AT THIS,
WHAT JUST ARRIVED.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU TELL HER I SAID THANK YOU.
I'LL CALL HER LATER.
- YES, I WILL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- SURE.
- [laughing]
- OHH.
THIS IS SO CUTE.
- DANA'S HERE.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH DANA?
- NO. [laughs]
- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT.
- I MEAN, I HAD SOME ISSUES
WITH TAYLOR,
SO I THINK THAT SHE JUST
JUMPED ON THAT TRAIN.
- OH, THAT'S COOL... I GOT
PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY
COMING HERE TONIGHT.
- THAT'S WHY I THINK
I'M GONNA LEAVE.
- NO, DON'T LEAVE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU DON'T FACE YOUR ISSUES...
- WELL, MY DAD'S IN TOWN.
- I KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU DON'T CONFRONT THEM
AT SOME POINT...
- WELL, SOME POINT, YES.
I DON'T THINK A CHILD'S PARTY
IS THE BEST PLACE TO DO IT.
- WELL, MAYBE THAT IS
THE BEST PLACE,
BECAUSE REALLY CAN GO WRONG.
- THERE IS A NET ON THE POOL,
SO I IF I PUSH SOMEONE...
- THERE'S A NET ON THE POOL.
NO ONE CAN THROW ANYBODY IN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- AH... NO. [laughs]
- NO ONE'S GONNA BE RUDE
AT A CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY
RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
FELT LIKE THIS.
- REALLY?
- [sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
- HI.
- HONEY!
WHOO HOO!
- MWAH. WHAT'S UP?
- HOW WAS IT?
- IT WAS FUN.
- WHERE'S THE PICTURE OF YOU
WEARING HIGH HEELS?
THANK GOD YOU'RE NOT
WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.
YOU DON'T HAVE ONE PICTURE
OF YOU WITH THE HEELS ON?
- I DON'T, HONEY.
- OKAY, WE'LL...
IT WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
IT WAS LIKE... OH, MY GOD.
- HONEY, DO YOU HAVE A NEWFOUND
RESPECT FOR ME?
LOOK WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- OHH! MOMMY!
[laughing] - HI!
- I HAVE VIDEO.
- I... YOU KNOW,
YOU HAVE BLACKMAIL... VIDEO.
- BLACKMAIL.
- [laughs]
[indistinct chatter]
- HI!
- OW!
- OH!
- OH, IT'S A PARTY!
- HELLO, BEAUTIFUL LADY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- I'M SO SWEATY.
I'VE BEEN IN A RACE ALL MORNING.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WE FLEW TO SACRAMENTO
FOR OUR RACE,
AND THEN FLEW HERE.
MAURICIO RAN A RACE
IN HIGH HEELS
FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
- THAT'S HUGE.
- [laughing]
AND PAUL, TOO... IN HIGH HEELS.
- I WANT TO SEE PAUL IN HEELS.
SEE... WE'LL SEE IF IT LOOKS GOOD.
IT MADE ME FEEL
REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE
THAT TAYLOR CHOSE
NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME,
AND SHE'S ACKNOWLEDGED CAMILLE.
NOT SAYING HELLO IS LIKE
AN AGGRESSIVE...
AGGRESSIVE THING TO DO.
- I MEAN, WE WERE
DYING LAUGHING.
- MAURICIO.
- OH, MY GOD.
- MAURICIO'S ON THAT SIDE,
PAUL'S ON THAT SIDE.
- I'M STILL UPSET WITH BRANDI.
I FEEL LIKE I'VE EXTENDED
THE OLIVE BRANCH TO HER
ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS.
AND SHE HAS NOT BEEN KIND TO ME.
- YOU THINK IT'S INAPPROPRIATE
THAT SHE WROTE A BOOK?
- UH, IT'S BEEN
LIKE A HOT MINUTE.
- THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
- YOU'VE MADE IT
THE WORLD'S BUSINESS!
- SO I'M STILL ANGRY.
- JUST SO YOU KNOW,
TAYLOR CAME IN
AND SHE SAID HI TO HER AND DIDI,
AND I WAS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE,
AND NOT "HI" TO ME.
AND SO I'M GONNA GO,
JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
THERE TO BE DRAMA,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I JUST... IT LIKE...
SHE SEEMS A LITTLE OFF...
- HEY, IT'S A KIDS' PARTY.
JUST STAY.
- THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE HERE.
SHE'S ONE PERSON.
I MEAN, IT'S FINE.
COME ON, BRANDI. STAY.
- IS SHE ONE PERSON,
OR IS SHE EIGHT PEOPLE?
SHE HAS A LOT OF PERSONALITIES.
[laughs] I'M KIDDING.
- NO, SHE'S...
SHE'S ONE. SHE'S OVER THERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE...
DON'T BE CHASED OUT.
JUST... EVERYBODY ENJOY AND RELAX.
- DON'T ALLOW HER
TO TAKE YOUR POWER.
- OKAY.
- HI.
- 45 HIGH!
- IT'S A MIRACLE!
- NOW GET 'EM!
- KIM HAS ARRIVED.
- WHERE ARE MY NIECES?
- THEY'RE ALL BUSY. I TOLD YOU.
- THEY'RE NOT COMING?
- NO.
- WHY AREN'T THEY HERE?
- AND THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU
YOU HAVE TO REALLY,
LIKE, GIVE ME KUDOS,
'CAUSE I LEFT
THE WHOLE FAMILY TO COME.
- BUT I THOUGHT
THEY WANT TO BE HERE.
- I TOLD YOU.
- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
I LOVE YOU.
I THINK SHE REALLY JUST
WANTED TO DRAG IT OUT
AND MAKE ME WONDER IF SHE
WAS COMING OR NOT,
BUT I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T
DO THAT TO PORTIA.
- HEY!
- HEY! HEY, GIRL.
MMM! I HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
MMM! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
BY THE WAY, YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
YOU GOOD?
- I'M OKAY. YEAH, I'M GOOD.
- YOU LOOK SO HAPPY
AND HEALTHY AND...
- I'M WHERE I AM.
- DID YOU...
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EX?
IS HE GONE, IS HE...
TRYING TO GET BACK IN?
ARE YOU DONE WITH HIM AND WASH
YOUR HANDS OF HIM,
AND SAID THAT'S OKAY?
- I'M JUST HAPPY
TO BE HERE TODAY.
- ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER?
- NO.
- OH. FRIENDS.
- BUT, YOU KNOW HAT?
- FRIENDS.
- HE'S, YOU KNOW, HE'S...
YEAH. - YOU RESPECT ONE ANOTHER.
- YEAH, I RESPECT HIM.
HE RESPECTS ME.
- MM-HMM.
- DID YOU BREAK UP
WITH THAT GUY?
- OH, MY GOD.
- I'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOW.
[laughing]
- I DON'T LIKE THE WORD
BREAK-UP.
- WHAT DID YOU DO?
STOPPED HAVING SEX WITH HIM.
[laughter] - OH, MY GOSH.
- DO YOU SEE THIS, UH...
TEXT FROM BRANDI. - WHAT, WHAT?
- TO YOU AND ME.
- HEY, YOU GUYS. LOVE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
I SAW DRAMA COMING,
SO I HIGHTAILED IT OUT.
- WHAT IS SHE... WHAT DRAMA?
- WHAT DRAMA?
- THERE WAS NO DRAMA.
I JUST WANT ALL THE GIRLS
THAT HAVE ISSUES WITH EACH OTHER
TO GET IT OVER WITH,
JUS TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.
IF THEY DON'T MIND,
I WOULD APPRECIATE THAT.
- I MEAN, A SIMPLE, "HI,
HOW ARE YOU," AND THAT'S IT.
AND THEN YOU MOVE ON.
EATIN' A HOT DOG.
- COMING UP...
- I'M JUST UPSET RIGHT NOW.
EVERYBODY'S PROTECTING LISA.
IT'S VERY HIGH SCHOOL,
VERY CHILDISH.
- KYLE, BE CAREFUL, THERE'S...
- AAH!
WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THAT?
- I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
MICHAEL... STEP IT.
- HOLD ON.
NOBODY COME NEAR THE HORSE POOP.
- OH!
- THE PROBLEM WITH UNICORNS
IS THEY POOP ALL OVER.
PHEW!
I'M GONNA GET THIS POOP
CLEANED UP.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
- I NEVER KNEW UNICORNS POOPED.
- I COULDN'T HOLD IT.
[laughter]
I'M THE POOP GUARDER.
[indistinct chatter]
- OOH.
- HEY, DON'T TOUCH IT.
- SHOULD WE DO GLAMOUR?
- WHATEVER. OKAY, GLAMOUR?
- ALL RIGHT, THREE, TWO, ONE.
[camera clicks]
- CAN I HAVE MY PHONE?
- THAT'S MY PHONE.
- OH! THAT'S YOURS.
OKAY. - [laughs]
- HI.
- HI. MWAH.
DID YOU GUYS HAVE FUN TODAY?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- I HEARD IT WAS HILARIOUS.
- WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
WE HAD A BLAST.
- HELLO, BUTTERCUP.
- MWAH! WERE YOU WEARING
YOUR PINK TOES?
- I WORE BOTH SHOES.
- WHAT'S UP, MY BROTHER?
- YEAH.
- HEY, THERE STILL FOOD?
- YEAH, YOU KIDDING ME?
THERE'S TONS OF FOOD.
- WELL, PAUL CAME IN
VERY HUNGRY, I GUESS,
FROM JOGGING IN HIS HIGH HEELS,
WHICH HE APPARENTLY
LOVED WEARING.
SO HE MUST HAVE REALLY
WORKED UP AN APPETITE.
- WELL, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK AMAZING. - THANK YOU.
- HAVE YOU MET YOLANDA?
- I DID.
I LOVE HER. SHE'S SO SWEET.
- SHE'S SO NICE.
- I REALLY LIKE HER.
CLASSY, PRETTY.
- OKAY, HERE'S
THE WEIRDEST THING.
I MEET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME
AND SHE TELLS ME...
THAT BRANDI SAYS TO HER
THAT SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
"IT'S A SMALL TOWN."
- [laughing]
IT'S NOT THAT SMALL.
- SHE DOESN'T KNOW, EITHER.
- WOW.
- I KNOW!
- UM, ADRIENNE.
- NOT SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT.
- HI!
- HI.
OH, MY GOSH,
YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS.
- SWEETIE, YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS!
SO BRANDI TOLD YOLANDA...
AT LISA'S PARTY...
THAT SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- NO.
- MY HAND TO GOD.
- REALLY?
- OH, WAIT, K-KYLE!
YOU WERE WITH ME. - WITH WHAT?
- DID OR DID NOT BRANDI SAY
THAT SHE SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS?
- I LOVE HOW KYLE RUNS AWAY.
- I'M TRYING TO AVOID PROBLEMAS
ON MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY
ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BRANDI.
WHETHER TAYLOR'S HEARD THIS
OR THAT'S HER OPINION,
I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS.
[indistinct chatter]
- WHOA!
- YAY! I'M GOING FISHING!
- I HOPE MY TENNIS COURT'S
GETTING DESTROYED BY THE...
BY THE, UH, THE... THE BURRITOS.
- OH, MY GOD. IT'S HOT.
- SO I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE
GONNA SEE, UH,
LISA WHEN WE GOT HERE.
- SHE LEFT.
- SHE LEFT EARLY.
- SHE GOT HERE AT 12...
SHE GOT HERE A HALF HOUR EARLY
AND THEN LEFT.
- WHY, ON PURPOSE TO COME EARLY
AND LEAVE BEFORE WE WERE HERE.
- SHE SAID SHE HAS
A WINE TASTING.
- KYLE!
- LITTLE DIFFICULT
FOR ME TO BELIEVE.
UH, I JUST THINK
SHE'S TRYING TO AVOID ME.
- I'M JUST UPSET RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS WHAT I FEEL
THAT'S HAPPENING...
EVERYBODY'S PROTECTING LISA.
I'M UPSET.
SHE'S HURT MY FEELINGS.
I KNOW I'VE HURT HER FEELINGS.
WE HAVE TO COME TOGETHER.
WE NEED TO TALK.
TO HAVE HER STILL MAKING IT
SUCH A HUGE ISSUE,
I WOULD THINK SOMEBODY
AS BUSY AS HER
WOULD HAVE MOVED ON
A LONG TIME AGO.
IT'S VERY HIGH SCHOOL.
VERY CHILDISH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I INVITED THEM ALL
FOR DINNER MONDAY NIGHT.
- AND SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL
NEW HOME.
- AND SEE OUR BEAUTIFUL
NEW HOME.
- HELLO.
- HI! HOW ARE YOU?
- LISA JUST TURNS
AND WALKS AWAY.
NOT COOL.
I DON'T LIKE THAT [bleep].
- SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY MAN IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- THERE'S NOTHING MORE UGLY
THAN A DRUNK WOMAN.
- YOU DON'T SPEAK.
YOU DON'T SING. SHH!
- REALLY? WE DON'T WANT TO SING?
- LIGHTEN UP... WE'RE NOT
MAKING AN ALBUM HERE.
- WHERE YOU GOING?
- TO HAVE A DRINK WITH ADRIENNE.
- I THINK THEY'RE
BOTH DESPICABLE.
IF I KNEW SHE WAS
GOING TO APOLOGIZE,
I'D LIKE TO BE A FLY
ON THE WALL AND WATCH HER.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT
THE HOUSEWIVES,
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- HELLO.
- I'M INVITING YOU ALL
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WELL... [chuckles]
- BRANDI, WHY DON'T YOU COME,
AND BRING YOUR BOYS?
- I WOULD LOVE TO, UM...
- THAT'S NICE.
- THANK YOU, VERY...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
[cork pops]
- YOLANDA, THIS IS KIM.
- HI, KIM. HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- WELL...
- ADRIENNE MALOOF.
- SHE'S GONNA SAY,
"I CAN'T MAKE...
I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT
BECAUSE..."
- "BECAUSE I WASN'T INVITED."
- TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING,
AND IF THAT WAS HER INTENTION,
THAT'S REALLY [bleep].
- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS
AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS,
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS,
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY, AND
I'M FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- HEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HI.
- HEY.
MWAH. HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG?
- UM, NO, I ACTUALLY
JUST GOT HERE.
SO... - HI!
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GREAT. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU.
WHAT IS SHE GONNA WANT
FOR HER BIRTHDAY?
IS SHE INTO CLOTHES?
- SHE LOVES CLOTHES.
- WHAT SIZE IS SHE?
- I ACTUALLY SAW... THIS IS WHAT
KENNEDY WAS WEARING YESTERDAY.
IT WAS SO CUTE.
- OH, I KNOW.
- SHE'S...
- THAT'S SO CUTE.
- THAT IS REALLY...
- OH, I LOVE THAT. OKAY.
- THAT IS ADORABLE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL GET THIS FOR HER. - OH...
AND WRAP IT. - SURE, SURE, SURE.
- ALSO, I WANT TO FIND
A PAIR OF SIZE 12 PANTS
FOR MY SON.
- FOR YOU?
- FOR MY SON.
- OH, I THOUGHT...
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
KIM ACTUALLY SHOPS IN HERE.
THESE CLOTHES FIT HER.
- I SHOP IN HERE SOMETIMES TOO.
[laughing] IT'S SO WEIRD.
- I WAS THINKING LIKE
A KIDS' SIZE 12.
YOU ARE SKINNY, YOU COULD DO IT.
- NO, BUT I MEAN... WELL, LOOK.
THERE ARE SOME CUTE THINGS
IN HERE.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- YEAH?
- OH, OKAY, SO...
- MIGHT AS WELL GET A TWO.
- SO ARE YOU GONNA CALL...
DID YOU DECIDE
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO ABOUT LISA?
- MM...
- ARE YOU GONNA CALL HER AND TRY
TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER?
- I DEFINITELY WANT TO HAVE
A TALK WITH HER.
I MEAN, I... I SHOULD.
I'VE WANTED TO.
UM...
I AM MORE THAN WILLING
TO APOLOGIZE TO LISA.
IS SHE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO ME?
DON'T THINK SO.
- I THINK SHE FEELS LIKE
SHE WAS WRONGED BY YOU,
AND THIS, HONESTLY,
IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- NO, NEVER.
- TO RADAR ONLINE?
- I DON'T HAVE TO, ADRIENNE.
- NO.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- NEVER SOLD A STORY.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH
A [bleep] INSULT.
- AT THIS POINT,
I FEEL THAT SHE'S, UM...
UM... VERY, UM...
IMMATURE.
SHE... I HAD NO IDEA
SHE COULD BE THIS IMMATURE.
TO ME, IT'S IMMATURE.
- I THINK, YOU KNOW,
SHE'S HIGHLY SENSITIVE,
AND IF SHE FEELS LIKE...
- I KNOW SHE'S SENSITIVE.
- YOU KNOW...
I MEAN, WE'RE ALL SENSITIVE,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
SOME PEOPLE HANDLE IT
BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
- WE'RE SENSITIVE AS WELL.
- IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR AN APOLOGY FOR HER...
- I'M...
- DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.
- I KNOW SHE'S NOT GOING
TO APOLOGIZE TO ME,
BUT THAT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
- I THINK ADRIENNE WENT TOO FAR
IN HER ARGUMENT WITH LISA.
I UNDERSTAND LISA BEING HURT.
AND I DON'T THINK THAT LISA
OWES ADRIENNE AN APOLOGY
IN THIS ARGUMENT.
- I JUST WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.
AND I THINK IT'S... YOU KNOW.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO WASTE
ANY MORE TIME.
IF WE'RE GONNA MEND
OUR FRIENDSHIP,
IT'S GONNA PROBABLY
HAVE TO BE ME,
'CAUSE IT WON'T BE HER.
[ice clinking]
- WILL THAT BE ENOUGH?
- UM, YEAH, JUST GO AHEAD
AND PUT ENOUGH
THAT IT KIND OF
WATERS IT DOWN A LITTLE,
SO IT'S NOT SO STRONG.
AND THEN MAKES IT COLD.
IS THAT GOOD?
- OKAY.
- WHATEVER YOU THINK.
- YOU TOOK YOUR SHOES OFF
AGAIN, PORTIA.
- I KNOW, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE CAR,
SHE TAKES HER SHOES OFF.
- YOU NEVER COME
WITH YOUR SHOES.
- SHE'S A HIPPIE.
- HIPPIE, HIPPIE.
HEY, DADDY. - HELLO?
- PUPPY...
- HI...
- SHE WENT RUNNING.
ANYBODY HOME? - HELLO?
- HI, KENNEDY.
- HI.
- MWAH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
CAN I HAVE A KISSY?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- MWAH!
- WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
HI, TAYLOR. - HEY, WAIT.
PORTIA, COME OVER HERE.
WHERE'S THE PUPPY?
- HI, DARLING.
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI, BABE. HOW ARE YOU?
YOU GUYS LOOK SO NICE. - MWAH.
- I MADE MARGARITAS AND SANGRIA.
- YUM.
- IN HONOR OF YOU TWO,
SO YOU HAVE TO HELP ME...
- MUCHAS GRACIAS.
- IF IT DOESN'T TASTE GOOD.
- MY GOSH.
- WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON
OVER HERE.
- I'M DOING SPANISH FOOD
FOR YOU GUYS.
- SPANISH FOOD?
- WELL, MEXICAN FOOD,
SPANISH FOOD... - YUM.
- OH, WHATEVER. I DON'T KNOW.
- WHEN I SEE HER THERE COOKING
AND SEEMING TO ENJOY HERSELF,
I'M HAPPY.
I THINK, "OKAY,
MAYBE THIS IS A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION."
- OKAY.
THIS IS PRETTY.
- I LOVE HER HOUSE.
- OH! WE'RE COMING!
- YOU WANT TO GET IT?
- [laughs]
- DON'T LET 'EM IN!
DON'T LET 'EM IN!
- GOODNESS! HI!
- OH, MY GOD, LOOK HOW ELEGANT.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- ARE WE BEING OBNOXIOUS?
- NO.
THIS IS THE PROBLEM WE'VE GOT
LIVING IN A GATED COMMUNITY.
- YOU GUYS...
- I KNOW, EXACTLY.
- THEY'LL JUST LET ANYBODY
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
- MWAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, HI.
- HI. MWAH.
- WE'RE HAVING MEXICAN FOOD,
SO I THOUGHT I WOULD BE MEX...
YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE
A THEME PARTY.
- IT'S MY BEST. [laughter]
- THIS IS REALLY NICE.
OH, MY GOSH.
- SO COOL.
THIS LOOKS GOOD, TAYLOR.
- ALL RIGHT. [sizzling]
- WELL, THAT'S ALL
YOU'RE EATING?
- YEAH.
- IT'S DELICIOUS.
- LOOK.
- I KNOW.
- OH, MY GOD, MAN. COME ON, EAT.
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PLATE
IS THAT?
MY GOD. - OH, MY GOSH.
- JEEZ, PAUL.
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
IN LIFE.
- I REALLY CAN'T RECALL
SEEING ADRIENNE PIG OUT.
MAYBE ONCE IN OUR MARRIAGE.
I CAN'T RECALL THE EVENT.
IT DOESN'T COME TO MY MIND.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU.
THANKS, YOU GUYS.
- DOESN'T SHE LOOK AMAZING?
- I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU
PUT THAT WEIGHT BACK ON.
- THANK YOU. I FEEL BETTER.
- SHE WENT FROM A ZERO
TO A ZERO PLUS.
- NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- A ZERO AND A HALF.
MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE.
- BUT, YOU KNOW,
SPEAKING OF LOOKING GOOD,
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO ASK YOU GUYS.
I HAVE A FAVOR.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY, FOR ONCE,
NOT FROM YOU TWO.
IT'S FROM YOU TWO.
- FROM US TWO?
- REALLY?
- OKAY.
- MM-HMM.
- WHAT'S UP?
- SO YOU KNOW THAT I...
AM ON WHAT I THINK
IS PROBABLY MY LIFE'S MISSION
IN SPEAKING OUT ABOUT,
AHEM, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
AND REALLY SPREADING
THE WORD ABOUT...
ABOUT THAT.
- SO THERE'S AN ORGANIZATION,
AND THEY HAVE EVENTS
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY,
AND IT'S CALLED WALK A MILE.
AND SO I'M GONNA ASK
THE TWO OF YOU
TO WALK A MILE.
- AS LONG AS WE CAN COMPETE
AND RUN.
- IN OUR SHOES.
- IN OUR SHOE... [gasps]
- WHAT? all: OHH!
- WAIT, I'M NOT WEARING
THOSE SHOES THAT SHE'S WEARING.
- OH, MY GOD!
- THAT'S SEVEN-INCH HEELS.
I'M NOT DOING THAT.
- I LOVE THAT.
- [laughs]
- DID YOU...
- YOU'RE GONNA WALK A MILE...
- YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
- IN HIGH HEELS.
- NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- BUT CAN YOU WEAR THOSE...
WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS
CALLED, ADRIENNE?
THOSE, UM...
- BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT.
- THOSE LITTLE,
SHORT HEEL THINGS?
- TOE... KID HEELS?
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. [laughter]
- THESE GUYS ARE WEARING SOCKS.
[indistinct chatter]
- YOU KNOW WHY THEY'RE
ALL WEARING SOCKS,
IS IT HURTS TOO MUCH.
OH, MY GOD.
I'M HOPING TO GET, YOU KNOW,
SOME LITTLE, ITTY BITTY HEELS.
[laughing] I'M VERY NERVOUS.
- I AM SO EXCITED.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA...
- HOW MANY... HOW MANY
YEARS HAVE I SAID...
- YES.
- "SCOTT, IF YOU COULD..."
- [mocking]
"ONLY WALK IN MY SHOES."
WOULD HAVE BEEN 1,000 TIMES.
- MAURICIO AND PAUL
WALKING IN HIGH HEELS...
OH... MY GOSH. I CANNOT WAIT.
- WHEN IS IT?
- COMPETITIVENESS, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- IT'S SOON.
IT'S ON SATURDAY, IN SACRAMENTO.
- YOU KNOW, I HAVE AN ISSUE.
SAME DAY AS PORTIA'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- THIS IS? OH, OKAY.
- WAIT A MINUTE. SO THE TIME...
WAI-WAI-WAI-WAIT.
WHAT TIME IS PORTIA'S BIRTHDAY?
1:00?
- 12:00, SATURDAY THE 28TH.
- AND...
- IT STARTS EARLY.
IT'S LIKE AN 8:00, 9:00 A.M...
- SO HOW CAN WE DO THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- CAN WE LOOK INTO MAKING IT
A LITTLE LATER OR NO?
- I CAN'T... I DON'T
THINK I CAN CHANGE THE DATE.
BUT I CAN MAYBE MOVE THE TIME,
AND, SAY, INSTEAD OF 12:00,
IT'S...
- YEAH.
- I CANNOT MOVE THE DATE
OF OUR BIRTHDAY PARTY,
BUT I WILL MOVE IT
A COUPLE HOURS
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN GO
AND STILL MAKE IT BACK
IN TIME FOR PORTIA'S PARTY.
- HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
IT'LL TAKE YOU GUYS
TO WALK A MILE IN HEELS?
- WELL, I CAN WALK A MILE,
PROBABLY, IN...
- A COUPLE OF DAYS.
- IN HIGH HEELS?
- HONEY, DON'T ACT LIKE
YOU'RE SUCH A PROFESSIONAL,
FOR GOD'S SAKES.
- WELL, I MEAN, WHAT,
LIKE 15 MINUTES, MAYBE?
- 15 MINUTES!
- DUDE...
HOUR AND A HALF, TWO HOURS.
- GOOD LUCK GETTING
FROM HERE TO THE DOOR.
- COMING UP...
- YOU'RE WALKING DUCK-FOOTED.
[laughing] THIS IS...
- COME ON.
- SO THIS IS WHERE WE'RE GOING?
- YES, YES, YES.
- "THE HIGHEST HEEL IN TOWN"?
OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT DO I ALWAYS SAY?
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- WHAT, "HIGH HEELS MEANS
YOU'RE CLOSER TO HEAVEN,"
OR SOMETHING?
- NO, THE HIGHER THE HEEL...
THE CLOSER TO GOD.
SO... - HOW ARE YOU? I'M PAUL.
- I'M MAYA.
- MAYA, ADRIENNE.
- HI. I'M MAYA.
- HI, THANK YOU.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU...
- JEEZ.
- WHAT SIZE ARE YOU?
- A 9 1/2 MALE, THOUGH.
NOT 9 1/2 GIRLS SHOE.
A... A MEN'S SHOE.
- IT'S GONNA BE LIKE 12, 13.
- 12, 13?
- UH-HUH.
- I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR
A HEEL LIKE THAT?
- LET'S LOOK.
- HERE, HERE'S A HIGH HEEL.
RIGHT HERE, ADRIENNE. LOOK.
- [laughing] NO, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
- WELL, I CAN WALK IN THAT.
'CAUSE THAT HELL'S
NOT THAT POINTY.
- THE DOROTHY SHOE.
HERE, PLEASE.
- DO YOU HAVE THOSE?
- ENJOY. ARE YOU KIDDING?
- YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
I'M NOT GONNA WALK
IN A SHOE LIKE THAT.
- THIS STORE COULD BE
A PLACE FOR WOMEN
TO BUY HIGH HEELS FOR PARTIES,
DRAG QUEENS... WHO KNOWS?
- WHY DON'T YOU TRY THESE?
MAYA, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THESE?
- OKAY.
- IT'S A [indistinct].
- HOW THE HECK AM I GONNA
COMPLETE A MILE
IN THESE SHOES?
I'M SCARED.
SHOW MY BEAUTIFUL CALVES.
- WITH THE BLACK SOCKS
AND THOSE SHOES...
- THIS IS NICE. THAT'S FINE.
- WELL, LET ME FIX THIS PART.
WAIT A MINUTE. - [snickers]
- ALL RIGHT.
- NOW, OKAY.
STAND UP. - [exhales]
- IT'S A LOT OF WORK, ISN'T IT?
- SO NOW YOU KNOW
WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- READY TO WALK?
- GOOD. FEEL IT.
- LET ME JUST FEEL THIS.
- [laughing] OH, GOD.
- PROBLEM IS THEY HURT
AROUND THE TOP OF THE...
- THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
- PAUL, YOU'RE WALKING
DUCK-FOOTED.
- JUST...
- YOU'RE WALKING DUCK-FOOTED.
[laughing] THIS IS...
- WALK ON YOUR TOES.
- [laughing]
AFTER A LITTLE BIT
OF TIME, THOUGH,
I GOT A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE
HE STARTED GETTING PRETTY GOOD
AT WALKING IN HIGH HEELS.
HMM.
- THIS IS LIKE A FLAT.
JUST WALK REGULAR.
- OH, THAT'S TOO EASY FOR HIM
IF IT'S LIKE A FLAT.
NOT FAIR.
- THESE ARE JUST LIKE
WALKING ON STILTS.
- SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THE SILVER ON THE RIGHT.
I DON'T THINK
HE'S GONNA LAST LONG
IN THE DOROTHY SHOES.
SO THE MOON BOOTS SEEM TO BE
THE APPROPRIATE SHOE.
- I THINK WE SHOULD GET YOU
A PAIR OF SHOES TO MATCH ME.
- I'M NOT WALKING WITH YOU.
- BUT, YEAH, BUT...
BUT IF YOU'RE ON THE SIDELINE,
CHEERING FOR ME,
I THINK, IF YOU DO THAT,
THEY'LL BE VERY SUPPORTIVE
OF ME.
- REALLY?
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WELL, WHICH ONES, THOUGH?
- WHICH IS YOUR SIZE, THEN?
- THESE, OF COURSE.
- YEAH, YOU...
- I WANT TO BE TALL.
COURSE I'M GONNA WANT THESE.
- OKAY.
- WE CAN WEAR THOSE
FOR HALLOWEEN, TOO, NEXT YEAR.
- [laughs]
- OOPS.
THANKS, ALBERTO.
I'LL BE LIKE
AN HOUR OR SO, OKAY?
- OKAY.
- HI, LOVE.
- HI, MAMA.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOUR FAVORITE DRINK.
- THANKS.
- HOW IS IT?
- IT'S GOOD.
- DID I GET THE RIGHT ONE?
- YEAH. IS IT HOT OUTSIDE?
- UH, NO, IT'S KIND OF OVERCAST.
- OH, 'CAUSE IT MELTED
A LITTLE BIT.
- YEAH, IT... WELL, IT TOOK ME
45 MINUTES TO GET HERE.
HOW ARE YOU, GIRL? - GOOD.
- GIGI HAS BEEN MODELING
SINCE SHE'S MAYBE...
THREE YEARS OLD.
I WENT, YOU KNOW, TO FORT,
NEW YORK MODELS, ELITE.
I MEAN, I VISITED ALL
THE BIG MODELING AGENCIES,
AND SHE WALKED OUT
WITH A CONTRACT
FROM EVERY AGENCY IN NEW YORK.
GIGI'S GOT IT. SHE'S TAKING OFF.
I MEAN, SHE JUST DID THE BIG
FALL CAMPAIGN FOR GUESS.
AND TODAY, SHE'S DOING
AN AD FOR EUROPE.
YOU EXCITED ABOUT
YOUR BIRTHDAY TONIGHT?
- YEAH, I'M SO EXCITED.
- GONNA HAVE FUN?
SEE ALL YOUR FRIENDS. - YEAH.
I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE FIT.
PRETTY MUCH ALL THE FOOD
THAT WE'RE EATING
IS LIKE A HEART ATTACK
IN A MEAL.
IT'S LIKE...
BUT IT'S GONNA BE SO GOOD.
- THAT'S GOOD. YOU CAN HAVE
ONE NIGHT OF BEING BAD.
- YEAH, I WAS ACTUALLY
REALLY GOOD THIS WEEK.
- YEAH. AND NOW YOU GOTTA
GET BACK ON YOUR DIET, THOUGH.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
IN PARIS AND MILAN,
THEY LIKE THE GIRLS JUST A TAD
ON THE SKINNY SIDE.
- YEAH, I'M SCARED.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE
A STAGE MOM,
BECAUSE I THINK THAT IS
A VERY UNATTRACTIVE, UH,
YOU KNOW, THING TO BE.
SO I'M JUST TRYING TO BE
HER MENTAL SUPPORT.
YOU KNOW, I WANT HER TO BE
THE BEST SHE CAN BE.
UM, DO... DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT SHE'S GONNA BE WEARING?
- MOMMY, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
THEY'LL... THEY'LL GIVE IT TO ME
WHEN I NEED TO GET DRESSED.
- DID YOU...
- NO, BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF I'M GETTING DRESSED
RIGHT NOW.
- YOU KNOW,
I'VE TRAVELED THE WORLD.
I'VE HAD A MODELING AGENCY
IN EVERY MAJOR,
BIG CITY IN THE WORLD,
FROM TOKYO TO PARIS
TO MILAN TO LONDON
TO NEW YORK.
SO I'VE BEEN THERE.
I'VE BEEN WHERE GIGI'S GOING.
SO I THINK THAT MY...
MY ADVICE IS VALID.
CAN WE DO SOMETHING
KIND OF SEXY FOR HER?
JUST SO WE, UH...
SHOWS OFF HER LEGS REALLY WELL.
- YEAH. OKAY.
- OH, YEAH.
- THAT'S A CUTE OUTFIT
YOU'RE WEARING.
- NO, IT'S NOT GUESS.
- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO SAY THAT.
HELLO!
[laughter]
- HEY, KID.
- WOULD YOU ROUND GIGI'S EYES
A LITTLE BIT ON THE SIDES, SO...
BECAUSE OF HER HIGH EYEBROWS,
BECAUSE IT MAKES HER
LOOK CHINESE REALLY QUICK.
- YEAH, SURE.
- YEAH?
I'M TRYING NOT
TO GET TOO INVOLVED
IN HER MAKEUP.
I'VE GIVEN HER TIPS,
SAYING, YOU KNOW,
"IF YOU'RE WITH A MAKEUP ARTIST,
"TELL HER TO DO A LITTLE...
"KEEP YOUR EYES
ALWAYS ROUND AND BIG,
SO THEY POP."
NOT THE CHINESE LOOKING,
YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE THAT'S NOT
GOOD FOR HER FACE.
- OKAY, SO STAND IN
THE CENTER OF THE PLEXIGLAS.
GREAT. LET'S GET
A LITTLE BIT OF FAN GOING.
PERFECT.
[camera clicking] GREAT.
NOW, I WANT YOU STRONG,
AND I WANT YOU COMING TOWARD ME.
[upbeat music] NICE.
BEAUTIFUL.
GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN.
GOOD. OH, MY GOD, IT WAS GREAT.
I THINK SHE NEEDS
A LITTLE HELP WITH IT.
- YOUR EYES OKAY, LOVE?
DO YOU WANT EYE DROPS?
- KILLING HER WITH THE FAN.
- YEAH, IT'S JUST THE FAN.
EVERY TIME IT... - YEAH.
- DO YOU WANT SOME EYE DROPS?
- NO, IT'S...
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.
IT'S JUST...
- NO, I KNOW IT'S THE WIND.
BUT SOMETIMES, IF YOU PUT
SOME DROPS INSIDE,
IT CALMS DOWN...
- IT'LL MOISTURIZE IT.
- OKAY, YOU SHOULD
GO AND FIX IT.
'CAUSE IT KIND OF LOOKS
FUNNY ON CAMERA
THAT YOU KEEP, UH...
[sniffles and laughs]
JUST GO AND FIX IT
IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR.
PUT A LITTLE EYE DROP IN IT.
WHEN I WAS MODELING,
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT
AT ALL.
I WAS FLYING ALL OVER THE WORLD,
YOU KNOW, BUT I WAS ON MY OWN.
- EVERYTHING LOOK OKAY?
- YES.
- IT'S ALL OKAY?
ARE WE ALL IN CHECK?
- YES.
- OKAY, GOOD. GOOD.
- GOOD JOB.
- WANNA MAKE SURE YOU APPROVE.
- YEAH.
- BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL.
THERE YOU GO.
VERY BOLD AND STRONG. LOVE IT.
GOOD.
VERY NICE. I THINK WE GOT THAT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- OH, NO WORRIES.
- CAN I JUST LOOK AT THESE?
- SURE. ABSOLUTELY.
- GREAT.
WELL, THAT ONE WASN'T THAT GOOD.
- YEAH.
- THE FIRST ONE.
[laughing]
- LOOK AT THESE.
IT'S CUTE, NO?
- SHE'S A NATURAL.
SHE WAS BRED FOR THIS.
- THERE YOU GO.
- [laughs]
RIGHT?
GOOD JOB, BABY.
I LOVE YOU. I'M GONNA GO HOME.
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
OKAY?
- I WILL.
- MAKE MONEY,
SO YOU CAN BUY
YOUR FIRST APARTMENT
IN NEW YORK CITY.
- YEAH.
- BYE-BYE.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOD.
HELLO. WHAT'S UP, MY BROTHER?
- HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?
- SO, UH, YOU READY?
- I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THE SHOES YOU PICKED.
- I GOT THE, UM, THE CHARITY...
YOU KNOW, GIVING ME
A COUPLE OF CHOICES.
SO I MIGHT BE LIKE...
I HAVE NO CHOICE. - REALLY?
- LIKE IT MIGHT BE SUPER SCARY.
WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE CHARITY GIVING YOU CHOICES?
- 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME...
- I DIDN'T HAVE TIME
TO GO SHOPPING.
YOU MEAN,
YOU HAD TIME TO GO SHOPPING?
- YES.
- YEAH, WE WENT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW...
- YES, WE MADE
A WHOLE EVENT OUT OF IT.
- I HOPE PAUL DOES BETTER
WITH ME IN HIGH HEELS.
[laughs]
THIS IS NOT ONE I NEED TO WIN.
- OH, MY GOD!
- WHOO HOO!
[laughter]
- UNBELIEVABLE!
- THAT IS... [clapping]
- HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
- SEXY, MAN.
- THAT'S PART ONE.
- AFTER ABOUT A BLOCK, HE...
- AND HERE'S YOUR... TOO.
- OH, MY GOD! [laughter]
WELL, THE PLATFORM, I THINK
IS GONNA BE EASIER TO WALK IN.
- OH, YOU'RE GONNA BE SEXY
IN THOSE, PAUL.
- I KNOW.
- SEXY.
- THOSE AREN'T HIGH HEELS.
I MEAN, THAT'S JUST LIKE
AN ELEVATED BOOT.
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT, UH,
KISS WEARS WHEN THEY
GO UP AND SING.
YOU KNOW, THE ROCK STARS.
- TELL US HOW THE EVENT WAS
THE OTHER NIGHT.
- IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, I MEAN...
- IT WAS NICE.
- IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THAT RESTAURANT
LOOKED REALLY NICE.
- NOW, DID ANYTHING
GET MENTIONED
DURING THE EVENT?
WAS THERE ANY, YOU KNOW,
COMMENTS MADE?
ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW, OR...
LIKE, YOU KNOW,
"WHERE WERE THEY?"
- I DON'T THINK ANYTHING OTHER
THAN JUST THE FLOWERS AND STUFF.
- YOU FORGOT TO INVITE HER.
- NO, I DIDN'T.
WE... NOT IN A GREAT SPACE,
TO BE HONEST.
- IT WAS A COMMENT
THAT WAS MADE ON BOTH SIDES.
AND THEY PROBABLY WEREN'T
THE BEST COMMENTS.
YOU KNOW, ON BOTH SIDES,
AND THAT'S IT.
- IMAGINE, YOU HAVE A GROUP
OF FRIENDS,
AND YOU HAVE YOUR
OPINIONATED PEOPLE.
YOU HAVE STRONG PEOPLE,
AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU'RE GONNA SAY SOMETHING
THAT PISSES THE OTHER ONE OFF.
I MEAN, YOU GOTTA BE ABLE
TO GET PAST IT, TOO.
IT'S NOT...
- AND MOVE ON.
- AND, BY THE WAY,
THE PHONE RINGS BOTH WAYS.
- OF COURSE.
- SHE ALSO,
I FEEL, OWES ME AN APOLOGY.
- I'M EXTREMELY UPSET
THE WAY THAT,
YOU KNOW, THE WAY
SHE TREATED YOU AND US.
YOU KNOW.
- COMING UP...
- HAVE YOU GOT A DIAPER?
- SHE'S NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
[laughter]
- OKAY, THE PARTY'S STARTED!
[balloons squeaking]
- PORTIA?
COME HERE, I WANT YOU
TO FINISH GETTING READY!
[Portia grunting]
- OH, LOOK AT YOU.
OKAY. COME OVER HERE FOR NOW.
GOOD.
HI, HONEY.
- HI.
- ANY MORE DELIVERIES COME?
- THAT'S PRETTY.
- DOESN'T THAT LOOK CUTE?
PORTIA, DO YOU WANT
TO SEE YOUR DAD WIN
IN SPARKLY HIGH HEELS?
- THEY'RE SPARKLY?
- THAT'S WHAT TAYLOR SAID.
MAYBE SHE'S JOKING.
I'M REALLY PROUD THAT MAURICIO
OFFERED TO BE THERE FOR TAYLOR,
BUT IF HE DOESN'T
MAKE IT BACK IN TIME
FOR PORTIA'S PARTY,
THAT HIGH HEEL
IS GONNA BE RIGHT UP HIS ASS.
- LET'S GO, BIRTHDAY GIRL.
WHOO!
DON'T SMUDGE YOUR NAILS.
- OKAY.
- GOTTA BE A BIG GIRL.
OH.
OH, MY GOD!
ARE THOSE THE PONIES?
OHH, THEY'RE SO CUTE.
THESE ARE NOT UNICORNS.
ARE YOU WITH THE... HORSES?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- ARE THEY GONNA BE,
ONE, LIKE UNICORN?
- YEAH, YEAH, WE HAVE,
LIKE, A LITTLE...
UNICORN THINGS IN THE...
- TO PUT ON THEM?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- OKAY, 'CAUSE MY DAUGHTER'S
REALLY EXPECTING A UNICORN.
- OKAY.
- THAT IS NOT A UNICORN.
AND THEY'RE DEFINITELY
NOT GONNA BE FLYING,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA
BE LIKE
LITTLE WHITE UNICORN.
- I THINK THEY WERE...
ITS' LIKE A BIG PONY.
- EH, YOU KNOW.
THAT'S GOOD.
THE BIGGER THE BETTER.
- HOW DO I EXPLAIN
A BROWN UNICORN?
- BROWN IS LIKE THE NEW WHITE.
- YOU THE PHOTO BOOTH?
HOW YOU DOIN'?
- GOOD. HOW YOU DOIN'?
- GOOD.
- GLEN!
I DON'T SEE WHERE WE'RE GONNA...
WHERE WE GONNA PUT THE ANIMALS?
- LET ME GET IT TOGETHER.
- WHERE THEY GOING? RIGHT HERE?
- I DON'T KNOW YET.
I'M FIGURING OVER HERE.
- ARE YOU WINGING IT RIGHT NOW?
- WE'RE WINGING IT.
- IS THIS ENOUGH SPACE
FOR THE UNICORNS TO WALK?
ARE THEY GONNA POOP
ALL OVER MY TENNIS COURT?
- IT'LL PROBABLY HOSE OFF.
- AAH! A BEE!
YOU EXCITED ABOUT YOUR PARTY?
LOOK. - YEAH.
- DOESN'T IT LOOK CUTE?
IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY
SHE WAS BORN.
SHE'S GROWING SO FAST,
AND I REALLY WANT TO ENJOY
EVERY MOMENT
THAT I HAVE WITH HER.
I DON'T WANT TO MISS A BEAT.
- WHO COULD BE WITH ME
IN THERE, MAMA?
- WHO COULD BE WITH YOU
IN WHERE?
THE JUMPY? - MM-HMM.
- I'LL GO WITH YOU IN THERE.
- OKAY.
- BUT I HAVE SOME WORK
TO DO FIRST, OKAY?
- NO.
- YES.
I HAVE TO GET YOUR PARTY READY.
- NO.
- YES.
- NO. I HAVE TO.
- NO.
- WELL, WHO ELSE IS GONNA DO IT?
- [giggles]
[crowd cheering]
- WELL, LOOK AT ALL THE...
MY GOODNESS.
THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE.
OH, BOY.
- LOOK AT MINE.
- ALL RIGHT! LET'S DO THIS.
- WELL, COME ON, ADRIENNE.
KEEP UP.
- OKAY,
YOU WAIT. - COME ON!
- I CAN'T WAIT
TO SAY THAT TO YOU.
OHH, BOY.
- ARE YOU GETTING NERVOUS?
- [laughing] I... LOOK AT THIS.
[laughter]
- I WAS SHOCKED AT HOW MANY
PEOPLE WERE THERE.
I MEAN, IT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE
SUPPORTING THIS,
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS JUST
REALLY GREAT AND COOL.
- THIS YOUNG MAN
NEEDS SOME SHOES.
- OKAY.
- HERE WE GO.
- I KIND OF LIKE
THE SILVER OR THE RED.
- LET'S GO CLIMB ON AND SEE.
- ARE THOSE GOLD, TOO? OKAY.
- YEAH.
- YOU GOTTA WEAR HEELS.
- HERE, YOU GOTTA
WEAR YOURS, ADRIENNE.
[chuckling]
- OKAY, I'M WEARING MINE
IN SUPPORT OF MY HUSBAND.
- THAT IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM.
- THEN IF THAT'S THE CASE...
- YOU NEED A BIGGER SIZE.
- I NEED A MUCH BIGGER SIZE.
OUCH. SON OF A BITCH.
- LOOK AT THE GLITTER.
THE GLITTER'S EVERYWHERE.
[laughter] - OH, MY GOD.
THEY WON'T EVEN COME OFF. - 14?
- TA-DA!
- ACTUALLY FELL.
- OH, I LOVE IT.
- WAIT A MINUTE, YOU'RE WEARING
THE SILVER, RIGHT?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD ON.
HE, BUDDY... - MAN.
[laughter]
- OH... MY GOSH.
- OF COURSE PAUL HAS
BETTER LEGS.
A LITTLE HAIRY,
BUT DEFINITELY BETTER LEGS.
[laughter]
- GONNA WEAR ONE OF EACH?
- NO LUCK! [overlapping chatter]
- OH, YEAH. WEAR ONE OF EACH.
- YOU GOTTA WEAR THE TALL ONES.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
I LIKE THE HEIGHT.
- AH, YOU LOOK GOOD.
- THIS IS GONNA BE SO PAINFUL.
MY TOES ARE
GETTING CRUNCHED HERE.
- OH, LOOK, YOUR GIFT
MATCHES YOUR SHIRT.
HOW FUNNY IS THAT?
- I KNOW THAT LISA AND ADRIENNE
ARE BOTH GOING TO BE NERVOUS
ABOUT COMING TO MY HOUSE
FOR PORTIA'S PARTY.
I KNOW THEM.
- HELLO!
- OH, MY GOSH. LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
YOU LOOK LIKE A PICTURE.
- EVERYTHING GOOD?
- YEAH. YOU'RE SO EARLY.
- NO, I KNOW, BUT I HAVE
TO LEAVE BY 1:15, REMEMBER?
- WHY?
- OH, LOOK.
I TOLD YOU, I HAVE, UM, A WINE...
WINE PRESENTATION
AT VILLA BLANCA AT 1:20.
I CAN'T CHANGE IT.
- MAYBE IT'S TRUE.
MAYBE SHE'S TRYING
TO AVOID ADRIENNE.
LOOK AT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!
- OHH!
- WHOO!
- OH, SHE'S SO CUTE.
OH, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
- PORTIA, LET ME SEE.
CAN YOU MODEL FOR ME?
- YEAH.
- [gasps]
- YOU LOOK LIKE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL.
- SHE KEEPS LOOKING
AT THE FEATHERS LIKE,
OH, THAT IS ADORABLE.
OH, MY GOSH.
SO CUTE... LOOK AT HER.
SHE'S SO HAPPY.
LOOK AT HER.
- YOU'RE GONNA GO NEXT...
- COTTON CANDY.
- TO THE ANIMALS.
- HUH? WHERE?
YOU'VE GOT PETTING ZOO?
- I HAVE A LLAMA COMING IN.
- WHEN'S HE COMING?
- THINGS DIDN'T MAKE OUT
WITH MY UNICORN.
THEY'RE COMING THROUGH.
YOU WANNA COME SEE THEM? - YEAH.
- COME LOOK. OKAY, COME ALONG.
PLEASE LOOK.
- OHH! WHAT?
IS THIS A FRIENDLY TYPE OF GUY?
- YES, YOU CAN MAKE OUT
WITH HIM ALL YOU WANT.
- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR MYSELF WITH THIS GUY.
CAN I... CAN I...
- THIS IS PRECIOUS.
- CAN I MAKE OUT WITH HIM
A LITTLE BIT?
- SURE.
- OH, HE'S SO SWEET.
CAN I TAKE HIM FOR A WALK?
- UM, YOU CAN TRY.
- HAVE YOU GOT A LEAD?
- NO, WE JUST HOLD ON TO IT
RIGHT HERE.
- JUST TAKE IT BY THE TEETH.
- THIS COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
[cheering]
- LET'S DO IT!
- WAIT A MINUTE.
THESE ARE NOT EASY.
- IT HURTS, MAN.
OHH. - HA!
- HOW FAR DO WE HAVE TO GO?
- HERE.
- OHH. WHEW.
AT LEAST WE'RE
PASSING SOME PEOPLE.
CHECK THIS OUT.
WE'RE GOING WAY FASTER.
OHH, SON OF A BITCH.
I'M TAKING OFF.
- OHH...
HO HO!
[laughs]
- WELL, PAUL, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF CHEATED,
YOU KNOW, WITH THOSE SHOES.
I MEAN, DEFINITELY A UNFAIR
ADVANTAGE THAT PAUL HAD ON ME,
WEARING THOSE SHOES.
- I'M JUMPING ON YOUR BACK.
HYUH! [both laugh]
- OKAY.
- JUST KEEP A GOOD HOLD
RIGHT THERE.
- OKAY. OH! WHOA. WHOA, WHOA.
OKAY, I'M BOSS NOW.
LET'S BE CALM.
- THERE YOU GO.
- [gasps]
OHH.
COME ON, WE'RE OFF
TO BEVERLY HILLS
WITH A BLANKET... HERE WE GO.
- LISA, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE
TAKING THAT INTO MY HOUSE...
- HERE WE GO.
- GIDDYUP! GIDDYUP.
- WE'RE GATHERING A LITTLE BIT
OF SPEED HERE.
COME ON.
IS SHE GOING OUT THE BACK?
- SHE IS NOT GOING
THROUGH MY HOUSE. LISA!
- HAVE YOU GOT A DIAPER?
- SHE IS NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
[laughing]
SHE IS NOT GOING IN MY HOUSE!
LISA, IF MAURICIO SAW THIS
ON MY HARDWOOD FLOORS...
- WHY IS HE GONNA SEE IT?
HE'S RUNNING AROUND
IN LADIES' UNDERWEAR...
- WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE?
- IN HIGH HEELS.
DOES HE KNOW WHAT HE'S MISSING?
- OH, MY GOD, HIS FEET.
- OKAY, THE PARTY'S STARTED!
[laughter]
THE PARTY'S STARTED.
- PORTIA! LOOK!
- PORTIA, PRESENT FOR YOU.
- WHEN LISA HAS HER FIRST
HOUSEWARMING PARTY,
I'M BRINGING AN ELEPHANT.
AND NO POOPER SCOOPER.
- OH, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
WITH THE PIG?
- COME ON, PORTIA.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GO OUT AND RELAX,
AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE,
OR A HALF A GLASS OF WINE.
- I REALLY THOUGHT THAT
PORTIA'S PARTY
WAS NEUTRAL GROUND...
A PERFECT PLACE
FOR LISA AND ADRIENNE
TO SAY, "HI, HOW ARE YOU,"
AND JUST BREAK THE ICE
AND PUT ALL THIS RIDICULOUSNESS
BEHIND THEM.
- I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA
SNEAK OFF SOON.
BUT MAYBE, UM...
- I'M NOT SNEAKING OFF.
IT'S REALLY A LONGSTANDING...
THEY'VE COME FROM NAPA VALLEY.
I CAN'T CHANGE IT.
- BUT WILL YOU...
IF I DO A DINNER HERE WEDNESDAY,
WILL YOU COME AND YOU
AND ADRIENNE CAN ALL SIT DOWN
AND YOU GUYS CAN TALK?
I KNOW... I KNOW YOU WANTED TO...
- OH, I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO GO INTO IT AGAIN.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THAT?
- JUST SO WE CAN
MOVE PAST THIS, SO WE...
- WELL, THAT IS... BUT WHY
DO YOU NEED TO GET INVOLVED
IN THE MIDDLE OF IT?
YOU DON'T NEED TO.
- I'M JUST...
- MAYBE I... NO, IT'S OKAY.
YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO.
IT'S NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.
I THINK THAT'S WHEN
THINGS GO AWRY,
WHEN OTHER PEOPLE STEP IN.
- IT'S NOT THAT I'M TRYING
TO MEDDLE.
IT'S THAT I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA END UP TALKING,
SO I THOUGHT IF I DID THIS
ON NEUTRAL GROUND AT MY HOUSE...
- NO, DON'T GET INVOLVED,
DARLING... IT'S FINE.
SHE SENT THE FLOWERS. IT'S OKAY.
I DON'T WANT TO GET
INTO A WHOLE THING.
EVERYBODY GETS INVOLVED
AND EVERYBODY STARTS SCREAMING
AND CHARGING... - NO, IT'S NOT...
- I DON'T WANT TO...
I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN THAT.
REALLY, I'VE GOT SO MUCH
GOING ON IN MY LIFE.
IT'S FINE.
BUT THANK YOU ANYWAY.
- OKAY.
- YOU TRIED.
- I'M TRYING.
I JUST WANT YOU GUY... I MEAN,
I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE OKAY,
AND EVERYBODY
TO BE HAPPY, AND...
NOT HAVE ANYBODY UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I KNOW SHE MEANS WELL.
BUT THIS IS BETWEEN
ADRIENNE AND I.
END OF STORY.
- YEAH, BYE. MWAH, MWAH.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
HAVE LOTS OF FUN, OKAY?
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- WHEN'S MAURICIO, UM...
TAKING HIS HIGH HEELS OFF...
WHAT TIME IS HE COMING BACK?
- WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE'LL BE
WEARING THEM PERMANENTLY NOW.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.
- [laughing]
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.
[chatter and laughter]
[scattered cheers]
- GOD, I LOVE THIS HEIGHT.
CAN I ALWAYS STAY,
LIKE, THIS HIGH?
- YOU'RE FINALLY AS TALL
AS I AM.
[cheers and applause]
- WE'RE DOIN' IT.
- WE'RE DOIN' IT.
[laughter and cheers]
- WAY TO GO!
- THANK YOU!
- [laughing]
- GREAT.
I THINK PAUL GOT OFF TOO EASY.
- I DID IT.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- MY FEET WERE NOT MEANT
TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS.
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S FEET
ARE MEANT TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS.
AND THE CHOICE OF DOING THAT
IS JUST A BAD CHOICE.
- THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
- THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
- [laughing]
- COMING UP...
- I HAVE SO MUCH
ANXIETY RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER FELT LIKE THIS.
- REALLY?
- [sighs]
- KNOCK-KNOCK.
I'M REALLY, REALLY ANXIOUS
ARRIVING AT PORTIA'S PARTY,
BECAUSE I KNOW LISA'S
NOT GONNA BE THERE.
AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF I
HAVE ANY OTHER GO-TOS
THAT WILL BE THERE.
- MAKING SURE THE DRINKS
GET OUT HERE.
- HELLO!
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
- LOOK AT YOUR GLASSES.
- I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- THIS IS FOR PORTIA.
- OH, YOU'RE SO SWEET.
THAT'S SWEET. THANK YOU.
- UM, I CAN'T STAY VERY LONG.
AND... I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT JUST, YOU KNOW,
SOCIALIZING AND... - NO.
- YEAH.
- WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS?
- YEAH, UM...
- IT'S A KIDS' PARTY.
- I KNOW.
- NOBODY'S GONNA BE...
- [laughing] I... THAT'S
WHAT I NEVER KNOW.
- NO, THEY'LL BE...
- IT'S A CRAZY GROUP.
- BOTH, THERE'S JUST...
WE JUST NEED MORE OUT THERE.
HI! LOOK HOW GORGEOUS YOU LOOK.
HOW ARE YOU? - THANK YOU!
OH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD SEEING YOU.
HI, SWEETIE! HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE...
- YOU LOOK AMAZING.
- THANK YOU.
- WOW.
YOU LOOK... LOOK AT THIS.
I LOVE IT. - THANK YOU.
- EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
LISA WAS JUST HERE.
BUT THEN SHE LEFT
BEFORE PAUL AND ADRIENNE
GET HERE.
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
- SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
- ARE THEY... THEY NOT CONNECTED?
I MEAN, COME ON.
- THEY STILL HAVEN'T CONNECTED.
- IT'S LIKE
THEY HAVE TO GET OVER IT.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD.
- WELL, THE OTHER NIGHT, UM,
WE WERE AT SOMETHING
FOR THAT VILLA BLANCA,
AND ADRIENNE ACTUALLY
SET LISA FLOWERS.
- WELL, THAT'S NICE.
- WHICH WAS A BIG STEP.
YOU KNOW. - HUGE STEP, YES.
- "I'M SORRY," BUT OBVIOUSLY
THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
IN PERSON TOO.
- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY...
AFTER EVERYTHING
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH...
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH...
THAT WE...
- I KNOW.
- THE GIRLS CAN'T COME TOGETHER.
- I'M SURE THEY WILL.
IT'S JUST THAT INITIAL
BREAKING THE ICE.
- YEAH, BREAKING THE ICE
IS SO HARD.
- NOBODY WANTS TO DO THAT.
OH, WELL, AT LEAST
YOU GUYS ARE HERE TODAY.
- I KNOW, I'M JUST SO HAPPY
TO BE HERE.
- OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- I WISH I COULD SAY
TO ALL THESE GIRLS,
"LOOK AT CAMILLE AND ME.
HOW FAR WE'VE COME."
IT'S ANNOYING TO ME
THAT ALL THE ADULTS HERE
ARE ACTING MORE CHILDISH
THAN PORTIA AND HER FRIENDS.
HELLO! GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- MWAH!
- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- OKAY.
- NOW CAN WE GO?
- YEAH.
- OH! WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS A PRESENT
FOR THE BABY FROM YOLANDA.
- OH! THAT'S SO SWEET.
IS YOLANDA HERE?
- UH, I'M AFRAID
SHE'S NOT COMING.
- SHE CAN'T MAKE IT?
- NO.
- OHH, THAT WAS SO SWEET.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
PORTIA, LOOK AT THIS,
WHAT JUST ARRIVED.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU TELL HER I SAID THANK YOU.
I'LL CALL HER LATER.
- YES, I WILL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- SURE.
- [laughing]
- OHH.
THIS IS SO CUTE.
- DANA'S HERE.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH DANA?
- NO. [laughs]
- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT.
- I MEAN, I HAD SOME ISSUES
WITH TAYLOR,
SO I THINK THAT SHE JUST
JUMPED ON THAT TRAIN.
- OH, THAT'S COOL... I GOT
PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY
COMING HERE TONIGHT.
- THAT'S WHY I THINK
I'M GONNA LEAVE.
- NO, DON'T LEAVE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU DON'T FACE YOUR ISSUES...
- WELL, MY DAD'S IN TOWN.
- I KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU DON'T CONFRONT THEM
AT SOME POINT...
- WELL, SOME POINT, YES.
I DON'T THINK A CHILD'S PARTY
IS THE BEST PLACE TO DO IT.
- WELL, MAYBE THAT IS
THE BEST PLACE,
BECAUSE REALLY CAN GO WRONG.
- THERE IS A NET ON THE POOL,
SO I IF I PUSH SOMEONE...
- THERE'S A NET ON THE POOL.
NO ONE CAN THROW ANYBODY IN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- AH... NO. [laughs]
- NO ONE'S GONNA BE RUDE
AT A CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY
RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
FELT LIKE THIS.
- REALLY?
- [sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
- HI.
- HONEY!
WHOO HOO!
- MWAH. WHAT'S UP?
- HOW WAS IT?
- IT WAS FUN.
- WHERE'S THE PICTURE OF YOU
WEARING HIGH HEELS?
THANK GOD YOU'RE NOT
WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.
YOU DON'T HAVE ONE PICTURE
OF YOU WITH THE HEELS ON?
- I DON'T, HONEY.
- OKAY, WE'LL...
IT WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
IT WAS LIKE... OH, MY GOD.
- HONEY, DO YOU HAVE A NEWFOUND
RESPECT FOR ME?
LOOK WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- OHH! MOMMY!
[laughing] - HI!
- I HAVE VIDEO.
- I... YOU KNOW,
YOU HAVE BLACKMAIL... VIDEO.
- BLACKMAIL.
- [laughs]
[indistinct chatter]
- HI!
- OW!
- OH!
- OH, IT'S A PARTY!
- HELLO, BEAUTIFUL LADY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- I'M SO SWEATY.
I'VE BEEN IN A RACE ALL MORNING.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WE FLEW TO SACRAMENTO
FOR OUR RACE,
AND THEN FLEW HERE.
MAURICIO RAN A RACE
IN HIGH HEELS
FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
- THAT'S HUGE.
- [laughing]
AND PAUL, TOO... IN HIGH HEELS.
- I WANT TO SEE PAUL IN HEELS.
SEE... WE'LL SEE IF IT LOOKS GOOD.
IT MADE ME FEEL
REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE
THAT TAYLOR CHOSE
NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME,
AND SHE'S ACKNOWLEDGED CAMILLE.
NOT SAYING HELLO IS LIKE
AN AGGRESSIVE...
AGGRESSIVE THING TO DO.
- I MEAN, WE WERE
DYING LAUGHING.
- MAURICIO.
- OH, MY GOD.
- MAURICIO'S ON THAT SIDE,
PAUL'S ON THAT SIDE.
- I'M STILL UPSET WITH BRANDI.
I FEEL LIKE I'VE EXTENDED
THE OLIVE BRANCH TO HER
ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS.
AND SHE HAS NOT BEEN KIND TO ME.
- YOU THINK IT'S INAPPROPRIATE
THAT SHE WROTE A BOOK?
- UH, IT'S BEEN
LIKE A HOT MINUTE.
- THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
- YOU'VE MADE IT
THE WORLD'S BUSINESS!
- SO I'M STILL ANGRY.
- JUST SO YOU KNOW,
TAYLOR CAME IN
AND SHE SAID HI TO HER AND DIDI,
AND I WAS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE,
AND NOT "HI" TO ME.
AND SO I'M GONNA GO,
JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
THERE TO BE DRAMA,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I JUST... IT LIKE...
SHE SEEMS A LITTLE OFF...
- HEY, IT'S A KIDS' PARTY.
JUST STAY.
- THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE HERE.
SHE'S ONE PERSON.
I MEAN, IT'S FINE.
COME ON, BRANDI. STAY.
- IS SHE ONE PERSON,
OR IS SHE EIGHT PEOPLE?
SHE HAS A LOT OF PERSONALITIES.
[laughs] I'M KIDDING.
- NO, SHE'S...
SHE'S ONE. SHE'S OVER THERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE...
DON'T BE CHASED OUT.
JUST... EVERYBODY ENJOY AND RELAX.
- DON'T ALLOW HER
TO TAKE YOUR POWER.
- OKAY.
- HI.
- 45 HIGH!
- IT'S A MIRACLE!
- NOW GET 'EM!
- KIM HAS ARRIVED.
- WHERE ARE MY NIECES?
- THEY'RE ALL BUSY. I TOLD YOU.
- THEY'RE NOT COMING?
- NO.
- WHY AREN'T THEY HERE?
- AND THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU
YOU HAVE TO REALLY,
LIKE, GIVE ME KUDOS,
'CAUSE I LEFT
THE WHOLE FAMILY TO COME.
- BUT I THOUGHT
THEY WANT TO BE HERE.
- I TOLD YOU.
- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
I LOVE YOU.
I THINK SHE REALLY JUST
WANTED TO DRAG IT OUT
AND MAKE ME WONDER IF SHE
WAS COMING OR NOT,
BUT I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T
DO THAT TO PORTIA.
- HEY!
- HEY! HEY, GIRL.
MMM! I HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
MMM! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
BY THE WAY, YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
YOU GOOD?
- I'M OKAY. YEAH, I'M GOOD.
- YOU LOOK SO HAPPY
AND HEALTHY AND...
- I'M WHERE I AM.
- DID YOU...
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EX?
IS HE GONE, IS HE...
TRYING TO GET BACK IN?
ARE YOU DONE WITH HIM AND WASH
YOUR HANDS OF HIM,
AND SAID THAT'S OKAY?
- I'M JUST HAPPY
TO BE HERE TODAY.
- ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER?
- NO.
- OH. FRIENDS.
- BUT, YOU KNOW HAT?
- FRIENDS.
- HE'S, YOU KNOW, HE'S...
YEAH. - YOU RESPECT ONE ANOTHER.
- YEAH, I RESPECT HIM.
HE RESPECTS ME.
- MM-HMM.
- DID YOU BREAK UP
WITH THAT GUY?
- OH, MY GOD.
- I'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOW.
[laughing]
- I DON'T LIKE THE WORD
BREAK-UP.
- WHAT DID YOU DO?
STOPPED HAVING SEX WITH HIM.
[laughter] - OH, MY GOSH.
- DO YOU SEE THIS, UH...
TEXT FROM BRANDI. - WHAT, WHAT?
- TO YOU AND ME.
- HEY, YOU GUYS. LOVE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
I SAW DRAMA COMING,
SO I HIGHTAILED IT OUT.
- WHAT IS SHE... WHAT DRAMA?
- WHAT DRAMA?
- THERE WAS NO DRAMA.
I JUST WANT ALL THE GIRLS
THAT HAVE ISSUES WITH EACH OTHER
TO GET IT OVER WITH,
JUS TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.
IF THEY DON'T MIND,
I WOULD APPRECIATE THAT.
- I MEAN, A SIMPLE, "HI,
HOW ARE YOU," AND THAT'S IT.
AND THEN YOU MOVE ON.
EATIN' A HOT DOG.
- COMING UP...
- I'M JUST UPSET RIGHT NOW.
EVERYBODY'S PROTECTING LISA.
IT'S VERY HIGH SCHOOL,
VERY CHILDISH.
- KYLE, BE CAREFUL, THERE'S...
- AAH!
WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THAT?
- I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
MICHAEL... STEP IT.
- HOLD ON.
NOBODY COME NEAR THE HORSE POOP.
- OH!
- THE PROBLEM WITH UNICORNS
IS THEY POOP ALL OVER.
PHEW!
I'M GONNA GET THIS POOP
CLEANED UP.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
- I NEVER KNEW UNICORNS POOPED.
- I COULDN'T HOLD IT.
[laughter]
I'M THE POOP GUARDER.
[indistinct chatter]
- OOH.
- HEY, DON'T TOUCH IT.
- SHOULD WE DO GLAMOUR?
- WHATEVER. OKAY, GLAMOUR?
- ALL RIGHT, THREE, TWO, ONE.
[camera clicks]
- CAN I HAVE MY PHONE?
- THAT'S MY PHONE.
- OH! THAT'S YOURS.
OKAY. - [laughs]
- HI.
- HI. MWAH.
DID YOU GUYS HAVE FUN TODAY?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- I HEARD IT WAS HILARIOUS.
- WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
WE HAD A BLAST.
- HELLO, BUTTERCUP.
- MWAH! WERE YOU WEARING
YOUR PINK TOES?
- I WORE BOTH SHOES.
- WHAT'S UP, MY BROTHER?
- YEAH.
- HEY, THERE STILL FOOD?
- YEAH, YOU KIDDING ME?
THERE'S TONS OF FOOD.
- WELL, PAUL CAME IN
VERY HUNGRY, I GUESS,
FROM JOGGING IN HIS HIGH HEELS,
WHICH HE APPARENTLY
LOVED WEARING.
SO HE MUST HAVE REALLY
WORKED UP AN APPETITE.
- WELL, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK AMAZING. - THANK YOU.
- HAVE YOU MET YOLANDA?
- I DID.
I LOVE HER. SHE'S SO SWEET.
- SHE'S SO NICE.
- I REALLY LIKE HER.
CLASSY, PRETTY.
- OKAY, HERE'S
THE WEIRDEST THING.
I MEET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME
AND SHE TELLS ME...
THAT BRANDI SAYS TO HER
THAT SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
"IT'S A SMALL TOWN."
- [laughing]
IT'S NOT THAT SMALL.
- SHE DOESN'T KNOW, EITHER.
- WOW.
- I KNOW!
- UM, ADRIENNE.
- NOT SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT.
- HI!
- HI.
OH, MY GOSH,
YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS.
- SWEETIE, YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS!
SO BRANDI TOLD YOLANDA...
AT LISA'S PARTY...
THAT SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- NO.
- MY HAND TO GOD.
- REALLY?
- OH, WAIT, K-KYLE!
YOU WERE WITH ME. - WITH WHAT?
- DID OR DID NOT BRANDI SAY
THAT SHE SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN BEVERLY HILLS?
- I LOVE HOW KYLE RUNS AWAY.
- I'M TRYING TO AVOID PROBLEMAS
ON MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY
ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BRANDI.
WHETHER TAYLOR'S HEARD THIS
OR THAT'S HER OPINION,
I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS.
[indistinct chatter]
- WHOA!
- YAY! I'M GOING FISHING!
- I HOPE MY TENNIS COURT'S
GETTING DESTROYED BY THE...
BY THE, UH, THE... THE BURRITOS.
- OH, MY GOD. IT'S HOT.
- SO I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE
GONNA SEE, UH,
LISA WHEN WE GOT HERE.
- SHE LEFT.
- SHE LEFT EARLY.
- SHE GOT HERE AT 12...
SHE GOT HERE A HALF HOUR EARLY
AND THEN LEFT.
- WHY, ON PURPOSE TO COME EARLY
AND LEAVE BEFORE WE WERE HERE.
- SHE SAID SHE HAS
A WINE TASTING.
- KYLE!
- LITTLE DIFFICULT
FOR ME TO BELIEVE.
UH, I JUST THINK
SHE'S TRYING TO AVOID ME.
- I'M JUST UPSET RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS WHAT I FEEL
THAT'S HAPPENING...
EVERYBODY'S PROTECTING LISA.
I'M UPSET.
SHE'S HURT MY FEELINGS.
I KNOW I'VE HURT HER FEELINGS.
WE HAVE TO COME TOGETHER.
WE NEED TO TALK.
TO HAVE HER STILL MAKING IT
SUCH A HUGE ISSUE,
I WOULD THINK SOMEBODY
AS BUSY AS HER
WOULD HAVE MOVED ON
A LONG TIME AGO.
IT'S VERY HIGH SCHOOL.
VERY CHILDISH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I INVITED THEM ALL
FOR DINNER MONDAY NIGHT.
- AND SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL
NEW HOME.
- AND SEE OUR BEAUTIFUL
NEW HOME.
- HELLO.
- HI! HOW ARE YOU?
- LISA JUST TURNS
AND WALKS AWAY.
NOT COOL.
I DON'T LIKE THAT [bleep].
- SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
EVERY MAN IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- THERE'S NOTHING MORE UGLY
THAN A DRUNK WOMAN.
- YOU DON'T SPEAK.
YOU DON'T SING. SHH!
- REALLY? WE DON'T WANT TO SING?
- LIGHTEN UP... WE'RE NOT
MAKING AN ALBUM HERE.
- WHERE YOU GOING?
- TO HAVE A DRINK WITH ADRIENNE.
- I THINK THEY'RE
BOTH DESPICABLE.
IF I KNEW SHE WAS
GOING TO APOLOGIZE,
I'D LIKE TO BE A FLY
ON THE WALL AND WATCH HER.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT
THE HOUSEWIVES,