The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Down and Left Out in Beverly Hills - full transcript
The brassy, bold beauties of Beverly Hills are back for a third season of wealth, luxury...and lots of problems. In the first episode, Lisa and Adrienne's friendship has soured, with both expecting apologies for accusations and barbs made previously.
Female announcer: LAST SEASON
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[cheering]
[dogs yapping]
- HEY, HEY.
- [laughs]
[cheering]
- I'M LOVING THE SUNGLASSES.
- $25,000.
- INSANE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- IT'S A TOUGH LIFE,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT.
- BIG HANDS, BIG FEET,
BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.
- BEVERLY HILLS, DARLING.
SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE.
- WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED.
- [laughs]
[orchestral music]
♪ ♪
- WE'VE GOT A NEW MAN.
WHERE IS HE?
- HI.
- IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT
MY SISTER SAY, "I LIKE HIM."
- BLECH.
- THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I CHOSE,
TO LOSE THREE OF MY KIDS.
- SHE SOUNDED LIKE
SHE WAS INTOXICATED.
- AND IF YOU 'FESS UP AND
JUST SAY, "I MISSED MY FLIGHT"...
- THERE'S NO NEED
TO 'FESS UP' WITH, MAURICE.
I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
I COULDN'T LOOK AT MYSELF
IN THE MIRROR ANYMORE.
- BRANDI.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IF YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG,
WOULD YOU REALLY
PUT A STILETTO WITH IT?
- IF YOU GIVE OFF,
LIKE, BITCHINESS,
YOU'RE GETTING IT BACK.
AND I'M PRETTY GOOD
AT BEING A BITCH.
- BRANDI, I SWEAR,
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND.
DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE?
- THIS IS DANGEROUS.
I SWEAR TO GOD...
- JUST DON'T INTERFERE
WITH MY BUSINESS.
- I DON'T KNOW WHO'S MY FRIEND.
MAYBE NOBODY IS.
- TAYLOR, DON'T [bleep]
WITH ME LIKE THAT.
I DON'T LIKE THAT, OKAY?
- IF YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND,
JUST PLEASE, DON'T BE MY ENEMY.
- YOU NEED TO BE HONEST.
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT COOL.
- FRIENDS DON'T SUE FRIENDS.
- TAYLOR IS IN A SUITCASE!
- I WANNA GO HOME.
- YOU'RE HAVING
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME.
- STOP! STOP, STOP!
- AT LEAST I DON'T
DO CRYSTAL METH
IN THE BATHROOM
ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.
- YOU WATCH YOUR [bleep] STEP.
- WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.
- YOU'RE A SLUT PIG.
- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.
- ENOUGH!
[upbeat music]
- LIFE ISN'T ALL
DIAMONDS AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF
EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- I'VE MOVED HOUSE.
IT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER
FROM MY OLD HOUSE.
MISS MALOOF
ISN'T ACROSS THE ROAD.
GOOD BOY.
[doorbell rings]
- LISA. MRS. VANDERPUMP.
- HELLO.
- HEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
- OH, GOOD LORD, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW I HAVE A PREREQUISITE.
- I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF?
- IF WE'RE TO BE FRIENDS,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF,
GO DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, AND...
Both: GAIN 20 POUNDS. [laughing]
- I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST ONE
TO SEE LISA'S HOUSE.
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'M THE CLOSEST
WITH HER RIGHT NOW,
AND I'M A LITTLE COMPETITIVE,
AND I'M, LIKE...
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO...
I'M A RACER, I'M IN A RACE,
AND I WANT TO WIN.
OH, THIS IS FOR YOU.
- OH.
- BUT I NEED KEN TO BE HERE.
SHOW ME, SHOW ME. I WANT TO SEE.
- OH, YOU DO?
- IT'S AMAZING.
- WE'LL OPEN THIS IN A SECOND.
YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE.
I THINK I WAS RETICENT TO BE
FRIENDS WITH BRANDI AT FIRST,
BECAUSE I KNEW
SHE HAD CONNECTIONS WITH CEDRIC.
I DON'T THINK
I GAVE HER A FAIR SHOT.
I'M HONEST WITH THAT.
SO I'VE DONE...
GONE FOR A REAL
KIND OF OPEN PLAN.
YOU KNOW ROSIA, BRANDI?
- I DO.
- YEAH, YEAH,
YOU'VE MET HER BEFORE.
- HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- THIS KITCHEN IS SO...
- KIND OF, LIKE, REAL OPEN PLAN.
I'VE JUST KIND OF EXTENDED IT
FROM THERE TO THERE.
AND THEN IT'S GOT A POOL TABLE.
- THIS IS LIKE THE
BACHELOR ROOM, KIND OF, RIGHT?
- YES.
- IT'S A LITTLE SEXY,
WITH THE DARKER COLORS,
NOT SO MANY DIAMONDS.
- I'M JUST LOVING
THIS NEW HOUSE.
WE WANTED SOMETHING
MORE OPEN PLAN,
WHERE WE COULD ACTUALLY
FIND EACH OTHER.
DARLING?
KEN?
- YEAH?
- WHERE ARE YOU?
IT'S VERY TRANQUIL HERE,
AND, UM, NO NEIGHBORS.
- SHOULD I DROP MY PURSE HERE?
- DO YOU...
DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSTAIRS?
- YES, ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
- TO GO INTO YOUR BEDROOM.
- BUT WITH ME, NOT MY HUSBAND.
- I KNOW.
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH LISA
SINCE HAWAII,
WE'VE REALLY BONDED.
YOU KNOW,
WE STARTED HAVING LUNCHES,
AND THEN LUNCHES
TURNED INTO DINNERS,
AND THEN DINNERS
TURNED INTO SLEEPOVERS,
AND THEN... JUST KIDDING.
- WELL,
THERE'S A GUEST BEDROOM THERE,
A GYM, AND ANOTHER BEDROOM,
AND A TERRACE.
THAT'S KEN'S CLOSET THERE.
[both laughing]
- WOW, I LOVE ALL THE COLOR.
- STOP SNIFFING HIS UNDERWEAR.
- HE DOESN'T CARE THAT YOU HAVE,
LIKE, AN ALL-PINK ROOM?
- NO, HE'S VERY SECURE.
- WITH HIS MANHOOD.
- YOU LEAVE HIS MANHOOD
OUT OF THIS.
- I-I CAN'T HELP
BUT THINK OF IT.
- WE'LL NOT TALK ABOUT MY
HUSBAND'S MANHOOD, OKAY?
- [bleep] YOU.
- [laughs] I DO LOVE IT.
- I'M SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.
- ARE YOU... NO, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE JEALOUS.
- NO, I THOUGHT
THAT WAS A MIRROR.
- NO.
- IT GOES INTO YOUR BATH...
I CAN BE JEALOUS
IF I WANT TO BE.
MY WHOLE HOUSE IS THE SIZE
OF YOUR CLOSET AND BATHROOM.
THIS IS SO PRETTY. OH, MY GOSH.
- HI.
- HI.
HONEY, YOU'RE HOME.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I THOUGHT YOU'D ARRIVE.
BRANDI'S VERY HONEST.
SHE SAYS SHE WANTS
TO HAVE SEX WITH KEN.
KEN'S VERY HONEST.
HE SAYS HE WANTS
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.
I'M VERY HONEST.
I SAY I WANT
TO HAVE SEX WITH NOBODY.
- THIS ONE IS FOR KEN.
- OH, MY GOD.
- ME?
- YES, MY BOYF...
I MEAN, MY FRIEND.
YOU NEED THAT TO GET TO THIS.
- WHAT IS THIS?
- OH, YES.
- SUPER STRAP?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- I SLIP AND SLIDE?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- WHO AM I GOING
TO SLIP AND SLIDE WITH?
- KEN.
AFTER YOU DO A SHOT OF TEQUILA.
- WHAT IS THAT? both: TEQUILA.
- TEQUILA GUN.
- OH, YOU'RE VERY SWEET.
- PUT IT IN YOUR LITTLE, LIKE,
THAT MAN BAR DOWNSTAIRS.
RUBBER SHEET, TEQUILA GUN.
NORMAL TUESDAY NIGHT
FOR THE VANDERPUMPS.
KEY WORD PUMP.
- I WAS WORRIED
WHEN IT SAID "SUPER STRAP."
[both laughing]
- I THINK...
I THINK I'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS.
- IT'S LIKE WE HAVE
A LITTLE SISTERLY BOND,
AND WE BOTH HAVE,
LIKE, DIRTY MINDS.
- THANK YOU
FOR MY SLIP AND SLIDE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
SO WHAT'S THE...
VILLA BLANCA'S
THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
- YEAH.
WE'VE BEEN OPEN THREE YEARS.
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW,
JUST ONCE A YEAR,
WE HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TOGETHER,
HAVE A DRINK.
- IS EVERYONE COMING?
- YEAH. EVERYBODY'S COMING.
- ADRIENNE?
- UM, NO, I DIDN'T INVITE HER.
NO.
I WAS VERY HURT
BY WHAT WENT DOWN WITH ADRIENNE.
IT TAKES A LOT TO PISS ME OFF,
BUT SHE MANAGED IT.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- TO THE TABLOIDS?
- YEAH.
- I'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY...
- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT
FOR A MINUTE.
- IN MY LIFE,
AND I WON'T BE ACCUSED OF THAT.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH
A [bleep] INSULT.
IF SHE WANTS TO EVER
OPEN A CONVERSATION
WITH AN APOLOGY,
THEN SHE'LL HAVE ME
AS AN AUDIENCE.
UNTIL THEN, I'M NOT INTERESTED,
TO BE HONEST.
SO, THAT'S IT.
- WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
THE OTHER GIRLS
ARE GOING TO TELL HER
ABOUT THE PARTY?
- OH, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING ANGST ABOUT IT?
- WELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON
THAN ME.
- NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
MAYBE I'M JUST OLDER THAN YOU.
OLDER AND WISER.
- WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY OLDER.
[laughs]
- [laughs]
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE HAS BEEN
VERY HECTIC LATELY.
MY SISTER KIM GOT OUT OF REHAB,
AND WE REALLY HAVE BEEN TRYING
TO REBUILD OUR RELATIONSHIP.
SOME DAYS, IT'S EASY.
SOME DAYS, NOT SO MUCH.
- HONEY.
I'M HOME.
- HI, HONEY.
- HONEY?
- I'M GETTING READY,
'CAUSE WE HAVE DINNER
WITH FRANCISCO AND DEBRA.
- CAN YOU COME DOWN
FOR A SECOND?
SOMEBODY, LIKE,
DESTROYED OUR FRONT LAWN.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WAS JUST OUTSIDE.
[gasps] - [chuckles]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- IT'S THE ONE YOU LIKED,
SO WE JUST...
- OH...
- WHEN WE WERE WINDOW SHOPPING.
- MY... GOD.
WAIT, IS THAT MINE?
OBVIOUSLY, IT HAS A BOW ON IT,
IT'S MINE, RIGHT?
OH, MY GOD.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
- THAT'S THE ONE.
- I'M SO EXCITED.
THANK YOU.
- DON'T YOU LOVE IT?
- OH, MY GOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
MY HUSBAND KNEW
THAT I WANTED THIS CAR
FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
SO I HAD BEEN DOING
MAJOR HINTING.
- SO HOT.
- WAIT, I WANT TO HEAR.
- IT'S A LITTLE TOO MASCULINE.
I MAY NOT LET YOU KEEP IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS NOT MASCULINE, HONEY.
THIS IS SEXY.
I'VE DONE THE MOMMY CAR THING
FOR A LONG TIME,
SO MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, AUSTIN.
[engine revving]
WHOO-HOO!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE'S BEEN GREAT.
PAUL AND I ARE BUSY
WITH OUR CAREERS.
MY CHILDREN
ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY.
I'M VERY LUCKY.
- THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- YOU WANT TO ORDER NOW,
OR YOU WANT TO WAIT?
- SHOULD WE DO IT?
- GO AHEAD, THEN, IF YOU...
- HE KNOWS WHAT I WANT.
- [indistinct] WITH SPAGHETTI.
- LET'S CLOCK HOW LONG IT TAKES
FOR HIM TO ORDER.
- NO, NO. THIS'LL BE QUICK.
WATCH, IT'S QUICK. YOU READY?
I'LL HAVE THE, UM, TRICOLORE.
- YES, SIR.
- AND I'M GOING
TO HAVE THAT SPELT.
- SPELT SPAGHETTI.
- HOWEVER, THE SAUCE...
GIACOMINO GAVE ME, LAST TIME...
- HERE IT GOES.
- AT THE OTHER RESTAURANT,
SOME, UM...
IT WAS A VERY HEALTHY SAUCE.
IT WAS NOT ARRABBIATA.
IT WAS SOMETHING.
- WAS IT WHITE OR RED?
- FRESH TOMATOES, GARLIC, BASIL?
- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GOING
TO HAVE THE ARRABBIATA.
- THE ARRABBIATA.
THAT'S PRETTY HEALTHY.
- THAT'S NICE AND SPICY.
- THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
- I'LL HAVE THE ARRABBIATA.
- YEAH.
WONDERFUL. THANK YOU.
[phone ringing]
- IS YOUR PHONE RINGING?
- HEY, TAYLOR.
HOW... HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, I'M ACTUALLY
HAVING DINNER WITH PAUL.
- WHY DON'T YOU
PUT HER ON SPEAKER?
- CAN I PUT YOU ON SPEAKER?
HE WANTS TO SAY HI.
- HI, TAYLOR.
- HI, PAUL.
WELL, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT
HAVING A ROMANTIC DINNER?
- OH, YES,
WE ARE HAVING A VERY ROMANT...
IT'S A DINNER OF LOVE.
- [laughs]
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU.
I WANTED TO SEE
IF YOU HAVE ANY TIME
TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME THIS WEEK
BECAUSE I GAINED TEN POUNDS,
AND NOW I CAN'T SQUEEZE
INTO A SINGLE COCKTAIL DRESS
THAT I OWN,
AND WE HAVE THE VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY EVENT COMING UP,
AND I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO WEAR.
- IT WAS VERY SHOCKING,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT LISA'S PARTY.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT,
AND I MISS YOU.
- I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, GIRL.
- BYE.
- THANKS.
- OKAY, HONEY.
- BYE.
THE LAST TIME
WE WERE ALL TOGETHER,
IT WAS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
BETWEEN LISA AND I.
- I DON'T NEED $100.
REALLY, ADRIENNE.
- I THINK IT'S MORE LIKE,
WHAT, $25,000?
- FOR WHAT?
- TO SELL A STORY.
- ABOUT WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WOULD KNOW.
I DON'T SELL STORIES.
BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT IT'S A WASTE OF TIME
TO HOLD A GRUDGE. YOU MOVE ON.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
- VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY PARTY?
- THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
- WELL, SHE'S PROBABLY NOT
INVITING US.
- DON'T SAY THAT.
THAT'S NOT NICE.
TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING.
AND IF THAT WAS HER INTENTION,
THAT'S REALLY [bleep].
Announcer: COMING UP...
- FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU...
- YEAH.
- TO SOMETHING, IT JUST NEVER
EVEN CROSSED MY MIND.
- IT'S GETTING TO BE VERY PETTY.
- SO CUTE.
YOU'RE SO CUTE, FLUFFY.
MY NAME IS YOLANDA FOSTER.
I WAS BORN IN A SMALL TOWN
CALLED PAPENDRECHT, IN HOLLAND.
AT THE AGE OF 16,
I WAS DISCOVERED BY EILEEN FORD.
THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
I WAS ON THE RUNWAY
IN PARIS AND MILAN,
AND MY LIFE AS A MODEL STARTED.
- GOOD BOY, FLUFFY.
[makes kissing noises]
GOOD BOY.
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
WHEN PEOPLE WALK
INTO THIS HOUSE, THEY'RE LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS INCREDIBLE."
I ACTUALLY DREW AND BUILT
EVERY INCH OF THIS HOUSE.
LISA HAS INVITED ME TO GO
TO HER ANNIVERSARY PARTY
AT VILLA BLANCA.
FLUFF!
OH, YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
- I KNOW YOLANDA
OSTENSIBLY AS MOHAMED'S EX-WIFE.
OH, I LOVE HIM.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MOHAMED,
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHO'S SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
I'M PRETTY CLOSE
TO HER CHILDREN, ACTUALLY,
BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE
WITH MOHAMED,
WE OFTEN HAVE LUNCH AND DINNER.
I THINK SHE'S A FORCE
TO BE RECKONED WITH.
- I HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
ANWAR IS 12 YEARS OLD,
BELLA IS 15, AND GIGI'S 17.
I'M CRAZY FOR MY BABIES.
I MEAN, THEY ARE MY LIFE.
MY HUSBAND IS DAVID FOSTER,
16-TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNER.
HE'S WORKED WITH
BARBRA STREISAND,
WHITNEY HOUSTON,
CELINE DION, MICHAEL JACKSON.
- [indistinct] IS GONE.
- YEAH.
- AND, UH, HE'S A GENIUS.
HI, MY LOVE. - HI, BABY.
- COFFEE.
- OH, NICE.
THANKS, BABE.
- DAVID...
HE ALWAYS LAUGHS ABOUT ME,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I AM THE MOST ROMANTIC PERSON
HE'S EVER MET.
- A LITTLE FLOWER
TO BRIGHTEN US UP.
- THANK YOU.
- EXACTLY.
- 'CAUSE WE ARE NOT
VERY BRIGHT RIGHT NOW.
- I KNOW.
FLOWERS FROM YOUR GARDEN,
MY LOVE.
WHEN I MET DAVID, I SAID,
"DON'T BUY ME ANY JEWELRY.
JUST WRITE ME LOVE NOTES."
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY,
OR NOT A GOOD DAY?
- UM, ARE WE HAVING A GOOD DAY?
- NO, WE'RE NOT.
- WELL, WE'VE DONE...
WE'VE DONE THREE SONGS.
THIS IS NUMBER FOUR.
WE HAVE 20 SONGS TO DO.
- BEFORE TUESDAY?
- NO, BEFORE TONIGHT.
WELL, FOR SIX YEARS,
I'VE BEEN WRITING LOVE LETTERS.
IT'S NOT EASY, BUT IT'S, UM...
IT'S SOMETHING
THAT SHE DOESN'T DEMAND,
BUT IT'S SOMETHING
THAT SHE COMMANDS.
- BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY
YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE
ALL THESE PEOPLE
THAT LOVE ANDREA BOCELLI?
- AND VERONICA AND ANDREA
ARE GOING TO SING ON A BALCONY.
THEY'RE GOING TO SING A SONG
TOGETHER ON A BALCONY.
- OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.
- THAT'S CUTE, YEAH.
- WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT
NEED, YOU KNOW, ATTENTION,
I JUST GO TO MY BOX
WHERE I HAVE, LIKE,
A STACK OF LOVE LETTERS,
AND I JUST READ ONE,
AND IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE
A ROMANTIC NIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL?
- YEAH, IF THEY CAN COME.
- NO, THEY CAN'T.
ROMANTIC FOR TWO ONLY.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I WOULDN'T GO THE OBNOXIOUS
ROUTE WITH ME RIGHT NOW
AFTER ALL... THIS MEANS TO ME.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME
FOR YOU TO BE MEAN TO ME.
HELLO?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HI.
- HI, HONEY.
- I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
- YOU HUNGRY?
- YES.
- I'M STARVING.
- STARVING.
- LET'S GO EAT SOMETHING.
- SO I'VE BEEN HOME
FROM TREATMENT
FOR A LITTLE OVER A MONTH.
THESE FLOWERS ARE AMAZING.
- THANK YOU.
- MY KIDS WENT WITH ME
TO TAKE ME THERE.
I'VE HAD AMAZING SUPPORT
THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE.
- WELL, TODAY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
- MM-HMM.
BECAUSE OF KIMBERLY'S PROM,
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY.
SHE'S MY YOUNGEST,
AND I WANT HER TO FEEL
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL.
AND I KNOW MY SISTER KATHY HAS
BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.
- YOU DEFINITELY WANT
TO WEAR WHITE?
- MM, I DON'T KNOW.
I KIND OF WANT TO WEAR BLACK.
BLACK OR WHITE.
- SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND, KATHY.
BUT I FIGURED
YOU'D HAVE A VARIETY.
- BLACK OR WHITE.
- I WORE BLACK.
AND DID YOU ORDER
HIS BOUTONNIERE?
- WHAT'S A BOUTONNIERE?
- WHAT IS A BOUTONNIERE, KATHY?
- YOU'RE JOKING.
- YOU'RE JOKING.
- WELL, YOU'RE GOING
TO GET A CORSAGE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- AND THEN THE BOUTONNIERE
IS, LIKE, THE LITTLE...
- OH, THE...
- THE FLOWER THING.
- OKAY, THE FLOWER THING.
- RIGHT.
SO WE HAVE TO DO THAT.
- YEAH, I HAVE TO DO THAT NOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S IT CALLED?
- A BOUTONNIERE.
- [laughs]
I MEAN, I'VE GOT A BOOT,
AND I CAN HEAR.
I'M VERY CLOSE WITH KATHY.
WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER,
WE'RE ON THE PHONE.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T
HAVE THAT WITH KYLE RIGHT NOW.
REMEMBER THE PROM
THAT I WENT TO WITH DAN?
- YES, I DO.
- THE CAR PULLS UP, AND IT'S...
A PICKUP TRUCK
WITH THE CAMPER ON THE BACK.
AND ALL I KEPT THINKING WAS,
"HE'S GOING TO TRY
AND GET ME IN THE BACK
OF THIS CAMPER."
THAT WAS WHAT WENT
THROUGH MY HEAD,
THE WHOLE NIGHT.
I WAS SO SCARED.
THEN HE TOOK ME TO THIS PARTY,
AND WE HAD FUN,
AND WE GOT HOME,
AND HE KISSED ME.
[gasps]
HE STARTS TO LEAN TOWARDS ME,
AND I'M LIKE,
"OH, NO.
I NEVER DID THIS BEFORE."
HE PUT HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH.
IT WAS SO GROSS!
[both laughing]
- OH, WOW.
- OKAY.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- MY LITTLE SALON.
- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I LOVE, I LOVE,
THE FLOWERS ON THIS.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I GUESS I COULD CHANGE
FROM BLACK TO WHITE.
- NOW LOOK AT THIS.
- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I WANTED.
I WANTED AN OPEN BACK.
- I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU,
I TOLD YOU
AUNT KATHY WOULD HELP YOU.
- AND IT HAS
THE LITTLE BUILT-IN BRA,
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ANY LITTLE...
- THAT'S AWESOME.
- YOU DON'T WEAR ANYTHING.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- LOOK AT THAT COLOR.
- THAT I SEE ON PARIS.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE WORE THE SHORTER VERSION
TO MY BIRTHDAY.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
IT'S TOUGH
WATCHING YOUR KIDS GROW UP
AND BECOME YOUNG WOMEN
AND YOUNG MEN,
BUT I LOVE IT.
Both: LET ME SEE.
- TURN SIDEWAYS.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL ON YOU.
WHAT WE COULD DO, EVEN?
WE COULD TAKE IT UP
JUST A LITTLE BIT IN FRONT,
AND THEN LEAVE...
- YEAH, THAT WOULD ACTUALLY
BE PRETTY.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH?
- IT FEELS SO SOFT.
- HELLO?
- CAN YOU HELP ME GET UP NOW?
- HELLO?
- HELLO.
- HI.
- THAT'S MY WORKOUT.
- OH, MY GOD.
- HI.
- THAT LOOKS GORGEOUS ON YOU.
ARE YOU EXCITED?
- VERY EXCITED.
- OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, KIMBERLY.
I LOVE THAT.
HI.
- HI, SWEETIE.
- HI, HI.
- HI.
- I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY
THAT MY SISTER IS SOBER.
ALL OF OUR ARGUMENTS
REALLY HAS STEMMED
FROM WHEN SHE WASN'T CLEAN.
NOW, SO HE'S PICKING HER UP?
I'M ALWAYS SCARED AT PROM.
- HAVE YOU MET HIM YET?
- NO.
- HE'S CUTE, HE'S BIG.
HE'S NOT A LITTLE GUY.
HE'S NOT, LIKE, TINY,
LIKE KIMBERLY.
- HOW OLD?
- 20.
- OOH, THAT MAKES ME
UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I KNOW.
AND I-I DID TELL YOU AND KATHY,
I FOUND THEM KISSING
THE OTHER DAY.
- WHAT'S NEXT?
- JUST STOP!
- JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THINGS,
AND DON'T GIVE THEM A CHANCE
TO BE ALONE.
- EVER.
- EVER.
I JUST DON'T SPEND
A LOT OF TIME WITH KYLE.
WHEN I SAW HER, IT WAS JUST...
IT'S HARD.
- I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S WHAT...
- THEY DON'T...
- THEY ALL SAY, ON PROM NIGHT.
- I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME
IN MOVIES.
- THAT'S WHAT I HEAR.
- BUT MY KID'S NOT.
AND I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH...
- YOUR KID HASN'T BEEN
TO A PROM YET.
- HE SAID THAT THEY WEREN'T
GOING TO DO IT
'TILL THEY'RE MARRIED.
- HMM, THAT'S GOOD. YOU JUST...
- THAT'S WHAT THEY DECIDED.
IN MY SOBRIETY,
I NEED TO FORGIVE,
AND I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD.
THE HARDEST PART IS, SOMETIMES,
TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY
TO SOMEBODY
YOU FEEL HAS WRONGED YOU.
I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING.
- COMING UP...
- HELLO, DARLING.
- IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA?
- YEAH.
I'M INVITING YOU OVER
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU GUYS CAN'T HAVE
THIS MANY TREATS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR ME?
CAN YOU DANCE?
- OKAY.
[knocks at door]
- HELLO.
- HELLO!
- OH, YOU'RE TALL TODAY.
- OH, I'M TALL. LOOK AT YOU.
- YES! I HAVE FLATS.
- OKAY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT
DRESS AROUND MY HUSBAND.
- WELL, THAT WAS WHY
I BOUGHT IT.
- [laughs] OKAY, PERFECT.
HELLO. WHO ARE THESE?
- THAT IS CHICA,
AND THAT IS SUGAR.
- OH, THEY'RE SO SWEET.
AND THESE ARE BOTH
FROM THE SHELTER, AREN'T THEY?
- YEAH.
WELCOME TO MY HOME.
- ALL RIGHT.
- [laughs]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR
ON WEDNESDAY?
- OH, GOD, I HAVEN'T EVEN
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING PINK,
SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE.
- NO, I WON'T.
I THINK I MIGHT WEAR BLACK.
- UM, NO, I DON'T KNOW.
JUST A DRE... NOT...
NOTHING TOO DRESSED UP.
- I'M NOT SUPER EXCITED ABOUT
SEEING TAYLOR
AT THE VILLA BLANCA PARTY.
WHEN'S THE BOOK COME OUT,
ANYWAY?
IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A HOT MINUTE.
- THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OKAY? YOU'RE WAY
OUT OF YOUR PLACE.
- YOU'VE MADE IT
THE WORLD'S BUSINESS!
SO I'M HOPING THAT WE CAN JUST
SAY "HI," AND, LIKE,
DO OUR SEPARATE THINGS.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN...
WELL, I'VE SEEN KIM ONCE.
- AND SHE LOOKS GOOD, YOU SAID.
[liquid tinkling]
THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. - YEAH.
I THINK SHE'S DOING QUITE WELL.
- KIM AND I DON'T HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.
SINCE HAWAII WE HAVEN'T REALLY
HAD ANY INTERACTION.
- I THINK THE SISTERS ALWAYS
GO BACK AND FORWARDS.
I DON'T HAVE A SISTER, BUT...
- IF MY SISTER LIVED IN TOWN,
I WOULD PROBABLY...
WE ARGUE ENOUGH WHEN SHE'S...
- EXACTLY.
- YOU KNOW, AN HOUR AWAY FLIGHT.
- YEAH.
- I'M GLAD
YOU DIDN'T BRING GIGGY.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN DRAMA.
AND THEY COULD HAVE
MAYBE HAD A THREESOME.
- [laughs] GIGGY'S A GIGOLO.
- LET'S MAKE SOME CALLS.
WHO ARE YOU GONNA INVITE
TO YOUR PARTY?
- WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
OKAY, I'LL TEACH YOU
HOW TO DO IT.
PORTIA IS TURNING
FOUR YEARS OLD,
AND SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED.
SHE'S REALLY ENJOYING PLANNING
THIS BIRTHDAY.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO CALL FIRST?
- [takes big breath]
UM, KENNEDY'S MOM.
- KENNEDY'S MOM? [chuckles]
OKAY, THAT WOULD BE TAYLOR.
MY GOD, FARRAH'S ALREADY
GRADUATED COLLEGE.
ALEXIA'S GONNA BE DRIVING SOON.
SOPHIA'S GRADUATING
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
IT'S ALL FLYING BY
WAY TOO QUICKLY FOR ME.
[line ringing]
- HELLO?
- WHO IS THIS?
- HI, IT'S TAYLOR. WHO'S THIS?
- THIS IS PORTIA.
- HI, PORTIA!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WE'RE INVITING YOU TO MY...
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- YOU ARE?
- YEAH.
- I AM SO EXCITED.
I WILL BE THERE!
- SEE YOU SATURDAY!
- OKAY, HONEY.
OKAY, BYE.
- BYE. OKAY.
[dialing number]
[whispering] IT'S AUNT KIM.
[line ringing]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY
TO AUNT KIM?
- [whispering] I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, BE THINKING ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE
GONNA PLAN A PARTY,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT RIGHT,
PORTIA.
HELLO?
- YOU HAVE REACHED
THE SPRINT VOICE MAIL BOX...
- UGH.
- OF 3-1-0...
THAT MAILBOX IS FULL.
- BIG SHOCK.
JUST BECAUSE KIM IS SOBER
DOESN'T MEAN I CAN REACH HER.
STILL UNPREDICTABLE.
- GOOD-BYE.
- OH, IT'S SO, SO ANNOYING.
- [laughs]
[line ringing] - KYLE.
- OH.
- HELLO?
- HELLO?
- HELLO, THIS IS LISA.
WHO'S THAT?
IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA?
- YEAH.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, DARLING.
- [laughs]
- WHAT DO YOU WANT,
LITTLE PORTIA?
- I'M INVITING YOU OVER
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- OH, I WOULD LOVE
TO COME... BIRTHDAY PARTY.
NOW, WHEN IS IT?
WHEN IS IT?
- 1:00.
IT'S SATURDAY AT 1...
- I CAN'T WAIT!
- IT'S SATURDAY, 1:00,
AT OUR HOUSE.
- OH, HELLO, MOMMY.
SATURDAY, 1:00, AT YOUR HOUSE.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- I DON'T EVEN WANT...
OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, THANKS.
- OKAY.
BRANDI...
- BRANDI, WHY DON'T YOU COME
AND BRING YOUR BOYS?
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
- THAT'S NICE.
- THANK YOU VERY...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
KYLE AND I ARE FINE.
WE'VE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS,
AND OUR CRAZY TIME,
BUT WE ACTUALLY
GET ALONG REALLY WELL.
AND I THINK WE'RE FINE.
I MEAN, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
- OKAY, YOU GUYS.
SAY, "WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY."
- WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
I'LL SPEAK TO YOU LATER.
- SAY, "BYE, DARLING."
- TELL PORTIA
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- BYE, DARLING.
- OH, BYE, DARLING. [laughs]
SHE'S SO CUTE!
- THAT IS...
I KIND OF... I THINK I JUST FORCED
MYSELF ON HER WHEN I SAID,
"HI, IT'S BRANDI."
- NO, YOU DIDN'T.
- I MIGHT HAVE.
- LOOK, SHE'S...
- BUT I-I...
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT,
THAT'S IT.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
LET IT GO, IT'S FINE.
AND IF YOUR BOYS ARE AVAILABLE,
THEN TAKE THEM.
WE NEED TO START MENDING
SOME BRIDGES HERE.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
[beeping]
- BYE, DARLING.
- BYE, DARLING.
[laughs] - BYE.
- OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
- [giggles]
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
- WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
- [laughs]
- IT'S BEEN NINE MONTHS
SINCE I LOST RUSSELL.
AT TIMES I DO GET OVERWHELMED
WITH THE SITUATIONS
I'VE BEEN LEFT WITH,
LAWSUITS,
AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES.
BUT NOW IT'S JUST ABOUT
GETTING UP EVERY DAY
AND PUTTING ONE FOOT
IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO PICK UP ALL THESE PIECES
AND START A NEW CHAPTER
IN MY LIFE.
HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- GOOD.
I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR SOMETHING NEW.
- ALL RIGHT,
WE GOT TONS OF THAT.
- ONE THING ADRIENNE
AND I CAN ALWAYS
CONNECT ON IS SHOPPING.
WE HAVE, LIKE, SIMILAR TASTE
AND IT'LL BE FUN.
SHE'LL GIVE ME
HER HONEST OPINION.
- HELLO.
- HEY, YOU. [chuckles]
HERE I AM ON THE BLACK
AND GRAY RACK AS ALWAYS.
- OF COURSE, I KNOW.
I LOVE BLACK TOO.
HI. - HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU LOOK GOOD.
- THANK YOU
FOR COMING TO MEET ME.
- TAYLOR SAID
SHE HAD GAINED TEN POUNDS.
THOSE TEN POUNDS
LOOK TERRIFIC ON HER THOUGH.
- SO HOW'S PAUL?
- UM, HE'S BUSY
WITH THE PRACTICE.
HE'S THINKING ABOUT
BEING BICOASTAL.
HE MIGHT MOVE
PART OF HIS PRACTICE
TO NEW YORK, SO BACK AND FORTH.
- GIVE YOU A REASON TO GO.
- YEAH, TO BE BICOASTAL.
- YEAH, EXACTLY.
- BUT OF COURSE, I... YOU KNOW,
I DON'T WANNA LEAVE MY KIDS
TOO MUCH, SO...
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
AND PLUS YOU WOULD
MISS PAUL, TERRIBLY.
- I WOULD. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- [laughs]
- YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I JUST THOUGHT
I'D HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT ONE.
- YEAH, YES. THANK YOU, DEAR.
- OKAY, I'M COMING OUT.
OKAY, I CAN'T DECIDE
IF LIKE THIS,
OR IF LOOK LIKE MC HAMMER.
- NO WAY. I LIKE THAT.
- [laughs] ARE YOU SURE?
- YES, IT'S ACTUALLY
VERY FLATTERING.
- YEAH?
- IN THE COLOR.
- AND IT'S DRAWSTRING,
SO IT'S FORGIVING.
- LOVE THAT.
- OKAY, CHECK...
ON ONE THING. [laughs]
- THAT'S A MUST.
- THIS IS CUTE.
- OKAY, I KNOW THAT
WE AREN'T LOVING THE CAPRI,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE ROLLED UP
FOR RUNNING AROUND WITH KENNEDY?
- I LIKE THAT.
- THEY'RE SUPER STRETCHY.
- AND I LIKE THE TOP.
WELL, YOUR LEGS LOOK REALLY TINY
IN THOSE BIG SHOES. - PERFECT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE
IN THE BIG SHOES.
- [laughs]
JUST LIKE THE BIG PURSES,
REMEMBER.
- EXACTLY, THE BIGGER THE PURSE,
THE SMALLER THE BUTT.
- YES, YES.
AND THE HIGHER THE HEEL,
THE CLOSER TO GOD.
- I'M FEELING A LITTLE AWKWARD
BECAUSE LISA CHOSE
NOT TO INVITE ADRIENNE
TO VILLA BLANCA.
AND I FEEL LIKE A BIG JERK
FOR LETTING THE CAT
OUT OF THE BAG.
SORRY I HAD TO BE, LIKE,
both: THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS.
- IT'S OKAY.
- AND I JUST...
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN NEIGHBORS
FOR SO LONG.
SO FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU
TO SOMETHING?
IT JUST NEVER EVEN
CROSSED MY MIND,
EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE HAD
A LITTLE FRICTION OR WHATEVER.
- YEAH, BUT...
- IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
THE LONGEVITY
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP,
IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN
JUST GO ACROSS THE STREET
ANYMORE THOUGH,
NOW THAT SHE MOVED.
- NO, NO.
- IT'S PROBABLY GONNA...
- I THOUGHT WE HAD MOVED ON
AND...
AND, UM, APPARENTLY
SHE'S STILL UPSET.
TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT MEAN GIRL-ISH.
AND IT SEEMED PRETTY,
UH, FRIVOLOUS
TO GO TO THIS EXTENT.
I DON'T LIKE THIS.
THIS ISN'T ME...
I THINK IT'S SUCH A WASTE
OF REALLY VALUABLE TIME.
AND IT'S GETTING TO BE
VERY PETTY.
AND NOT ONLY ALL MY FRIENDS,
BUT MY FRIENDS' FRIENDS
WERE GOING.
SO OF COURSE BEING LEFT OUT
IS HURTFUL.
- COMING UP...
- IT'S A SMALL TOWN.
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW EVERYONE.
YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
- WE JUST SLEPT WITH EVERY GUY
IN THIS TOWN, INTERESTING.
[cork pops]
- THAT IS SO CUTE.
IF YOU'VE GOT
TIME TO SIT AROUND,
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
GET ON EVERYBODY.
YOU'RE, LIKE,
ONE OF MY HEAD SERVERS.
COME ON.
I'VE BEEN SO PREOCCUPIED
WITH MOVING,
I REALLY HAVEN'T HAD TIME
TO SEE ANYBODY LATELY.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICE
JUST TO KIND OF
SEE SOME FAMILIAR FACES.
KNOCK IT BACK DOWN IN ONE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DOWN IT
IN ONE, RIGHT?
- OH, JESUS.
- YOU DON'T LOVE THAT?
I LOVE THAT.
- OH, YEAH. IT'S HOT THOUGH.
[background chatter]
- THANK YOU. OKAY.
- WOW. BEAUTIFUL DAY.
- [chuckles]
- THANK YOU.
WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
HI. - HELLO!
- LISA, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
- OH, NO, YOU'RE WELCOME.
LET'S GET YOU A DRINK.
- [giggles] THANK YOU.
- AH, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO.
- [chuckles]
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR AGES.
- I KNOW.
- YOU LOOK WELL.
- THANK YOU.
LOOKIN' GOOD. BABY STEPS.
- NO, YOU'VE DONE A BIG STEP.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
- YEAH, THANK YOU.
- KIM WAS THERE,
HALLE-BLOODY-LUJAH.
ANYWAY, I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEBODY.
- OKAY.
- YOLANDA, THIS IS KIM.
- HI, KIM, HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- SO WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
- JUST WATER...
I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- SOMETHING? ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- YOU STAY CLOSE TO ME,
BECAUSE I'M DRINKING WATER TOO.
WE'LL HAVE A WATER PARTY.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THAT WOULD BE REALLY EXCITING.
- REALLY EXCITING.
DO YOU LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS,
OR WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
- I JUST MOVED BACK, LIKE,
HALFWAY IN BETWEEN...
I WAS LIVING OUT IN WESTLAKE.
- YEAH.
- IT WAS A LITTLE
TOO FAR OUT FOR MY FAMILY,
SO NOW I JUST MOVED
A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.
NOT QUITE ALL THE WAY,
BUT I GET A LITTLE CLOSER.
YEAH. - YEAH, GOOD.
- THIS IS WATER, RIGHT?
- YES.
- THANK YOU. CHEERS, GIRL.
- ALL RIGHTY.
- YOU MUST BE FREEZING.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THERE ARE, LIKE, NAKED ANGELS
WITH BIG FEATHERS
AND WINGS AND...
I WOULDN'T HAVE
EXPECTED ANYTHING LESS.
HELLO!
- HOW ARE YOU? HI, YOLANDA.
- THIS IS YOLANDA.
- I KNOW YOLANDA.
NO, I KNOW... I MET HER BEFORE.
- NO.
- YEAH, WE'VE MET.
- YEAH.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- WE, UH... I MEAN,
WE DO LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU? - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOLANDA.
- YOLANDA,
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- THANK YOU.
- UH, REMEMBER ME?
- I-I'M JUST
GETTING TO KNOW HER.
- YOU'RE GETTING TO ME, RIGHT?
OKAY.
- OH, IT'S SO PRICKLY.
IT'S LIKE KISSING A BROOM.
- OH, GIVE ME A KISS.
- YOU LOVE IT.
- I DO NOT LOVE IT.
- WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW
I DON'T HAVE TO?
- [laughs]
- I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO GOING TO VILLA BLANCA.
I GUESS THE ONLY THING
THAT I'M NOT
LOOKING FORWARD TO
IS SEEING BRANDI.
WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN RED.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- TAYLOR, YOU KNOW YOLANDA?
- HI. WE'VE NEVER
OFFICIALLY MET,
BUT IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
- OH, GOSH.
THANK YOU.
WOW. [laughs]
THIS IS CRAZY, WOW.
THIS IS AWESOME.
YOU GUYS SHOULD
COME HOME WITH ME.
THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. [laughter]
both: HELLO! - OH, MY GOD.
NOW I REALLY DO
FEEL LIKE A DWARF.
OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU.
YOLANDA, MEET BRANDI. - HI.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOLANDA. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOUR EX-HUSBAND IS MOHAMED.
- YES. IT'S A SMALL TOWN.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW EVERYONE.
YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD.
- I WAS SPEECHLESS.
WE JUST SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN THIS TOWN,
INTERESTING.
- WHO'S HERE? WHO'S HERE?
I'M NERVOUS.
- WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT?
- WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW, I'M KINDA
NERVOUS TO SEE EVERYONE.
- BRANDI STARTED OFF ON
A KIND OF BAD...
IN A BAD PLACE WITH
THE OTHER WOMEN,
TO BE HONEST.
- AND I'M STILL THERE.
I'M REALLY NERVOUS
ABOUT SEEING KIM
AT VILLA BLANCA,
BECAUSE SHE STILL
KINDA BLAMES ME
FOR ALL OF HER PROBLEMS.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
- THEY'RE HER RESPONSIBILITY,
AND I'M NOT GONNA
BE A SCAPEGOAT FOR HER.
- ACTUALLY, WE BONDED WHEN...
- WE MADE OUT.
- OH.
WE DIDN'T MAKE OUT.
SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT,
WHICH GET HER IN TROUBLE.
- WE DID.
- SERIOUSLY?
- PORTIA CALLED YOU
TEN TIMES YESTERDAY,
TRYING TO REACH YOU. - I SAW.
I DID SEE TWO MISSED CALLS.
I CALLED YOU BACK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
SHE KEPT CALLING, CALLING.
AND THEN SHE GOES,
"UGH. ANNOYING."
- [chuckles]
- I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
NO, 'CAUSE 1:00 SATURDAY
IS HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
AND I WANNA GIVE YOU GUYS
A HEADS-UP.
AND I KNOW BOTH OF YOU AREN'T
GONNA LIKE THIS, PROBABLY.
INITIALLY,
I DID NOT INVITE BRANDI,
JUST BECAUSE YOU GUYS
HAVE YOUR ISSUES WITH HER.
AND I DON'T WANT, OBVIOUSLY,
ANY PROBLEMS AT PORTIA'S PARTY.
BUT WHEN WE CALLED LISA
TO INVITE HER,
I GAVE HER ALL THE INFORMATION
ON THE PHONE.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN BRANDI GOES,
"HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI."
AND I REALLY FELT
PUT ON THE SPOT.
AND SINCE SHE HAS
LITTLE KIDS, I SAID,
"LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH YOUR BOYS
AND WHATEVER?"
BRANDI AND I MADE UP
A LONG TIME AGO.
I STILL HEAR LITTLE WHISPERINGS
OF THINGS SHE SAYS ABOUT ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ACTUALLY DO ENJOY
SEEING HER FACE...
BOTH OF THEM.
- IT'S NOT MY PARTY.
- WELL, OBVIOUSLY
WE DON'T WANT PROBLEMS
AT PORTIA'S PARTY, SO...
- WELL, I MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO COME ANYWAY.
Both: WHY?
- BECAUSE ALL MY KIDS
AREN'T TOGETHER ALL THE TIME,
AND SO WE'RE ALL PLANNING ON
SPENDING THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.
SO UNLESS MY KIDS...
- TWO HOURS WITH YOU
AND YOUR KIDS
TO BE WITH YOUR NIECE
AND THEIR COUSINS.
- IF I CAN GET AWAY,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA
LEAVE ALL MY KIDS...
- I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE THEM.
I WANT THEM THERE.
IT'S THEIR COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY.
- THEY MAY NOT WANNA COME.
- HAVE YOU MET BRANDI?
- HI. YES.
- OH, YEAH,
WE'VE ALREADY SAID HELLO.
HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO.
- I'M GONNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA.
I'LL BE BACK. - OKAY.
- I LIKE YOLANDA.
SHE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL AURA
ABOUT HER.
- I DON'T... I GET IT. I GET IT.
- I'M SORRY.
- NO. GOSH, NO. IT'S FINE.
IT'S LIKE,
BABY STEPS, BABY STEPS.
- LIKE, INFANTILE STEPS.
- LIKE, I'VE JUST GOTTA...
JUST SWALLOW ME UP NOW.
THIS INCIDENT SPEAKS VOLUMES
ABOUT MY FUTURE WITH KIM,
BECAUSE
CLEARLY SHE STILL BLAMES ME
FOR ALL OF HER
DRUG AND ALCOHOL ISSUES.
- CALL IT A DAY.
- OH, KIM WENT TO GO
LOOK FOR YOLANDA THAT WAY.
SHE'S GONNA BE
COMING AROUND THIS WAY.
- MY SISTER KIM'S
ON THE HUNT FOR YOU, YOLANDA.
- WHERE IS SHE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S LIKE,
"I WANNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA."
- WE HAD... WE HAD SOME GOOD
BONDING TIME.
- YOU DID?
- YEAH.
- WHAT SIGN ARE YOU?
- CAPRICORN.
- OH, MY GOD!
ANOTHER CAPRICORN!
Both: FINALLY!
YES! THESE WOMEN ARE ALL VIRGOS.
- NOT US, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE
ARE VIRGOS.
- AND WHAT ARE YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT BRANDI IS...
A GEMINI. - GEMINI. YOU?
- CAPRICORN.
- OH, LIKE ME? GOOD.
- WHAT DAY?
- YOU GO, GIRL.
JANUARY 11TH. - ME...
- OH, NO WAY!
- YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
- NO, YOU'RE KIDDING.
- WE'RE THE SAME DAY?
- NO WAY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I JUST WENT LOOKING FOR YOU.
- YOU KNOW WHAT
I JUST FOUND OUT? - WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHY I JUST
ADORE YOU RIGHT AWAY?
- YOU'RE A VIRGO?
- NO.
I'M A CAPRICORN, BORN
THE SAME DAY AS YOUR SISTER.
- OH, YAY.
NO, I'M JUST JOKING. [laughter]
I DIDN'T...
- SHE'S SUCH A TREAT SOMETIMES.
- WHY, IS THAT NOT GOOD?
- NO, IT IS GOOD.
- WE WERE THE ONLY ONES.
YOU'RE CAPRICORN.
BRANDI'S A SCORPIO.
SSS! - OOH.
THAT'S WHY SHE SAID I SLEPT
WITH EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN.
I WAS LIKE... - SHE DID THAT?
- YEAH, BECAUSE I GUESS
SCORPIO THEY SAY
IS THE MOST SEXUAL
SIGN OF THE ZODIAC, RIGHT?
- SHE SAID THAT I SLEPT WITH
EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN?
- WELL, SHE SAID THAT
THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL.
- THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
NO, NO, NO!
I TAKE THAT BACK.
NOT THAT SHE DID THAT,
THAT SHE WOULD SAY THAT.
[laughs]
LET ME CLARIFY THAT.
I JUST MEANT THAT
IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME
SHE WOULD SAY THAT,
NOT THAT SHE DID THAT.
- NO, NO, NO, I MEAN,
WHICH IS FINE.
BUT SHE SAID THE TOWN
IS SO SMALL
THAT YOU KNOW EVERYBODY,
YOU KNOW?
SHE'S PROBABLY JOKING.
I MEAN, WHATEVER.
[laughter]
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HER.
- THE TOWN IS SO SMALL IT'S HARD
NOT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
WELL, I MEAN, NOT FOR ME, LIKE...
- OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
- EVEN IF SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
ALL OF BEVERLY HILLS...
AND LISTEN, I DON'T DOUBT IT...
I DON'T KNOW THAT SHE NEEDS
TO BE ANNOUNCING IT
AT A VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY PARTY
TO SOMEONE SHE JUST MET.
[indistinct chatter]
- OH, PERFECT.
- THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
- I DON'T WANNA INTERRUPT YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE A FLOWER DELIVERY.
- OH, I DO?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- FROM WHO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY WANNA TELL, SO...
- OOH, A SECRET ADMIRER.
- I WISH.
- THEY'RE STUNNING.
I WANNA SHOW YOU. - REALLY?
- I HAVE NO IDEA
WHO THEY'RE FROM.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- ISN'T THAT GORGEOUS?
- I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'RE FROM.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- ADRIENNE MALOOF...
SENT THESE TO YOU
WITH LOTS OF BEST WISHES.
- THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET.
- LET'S FIND OUT WHY...
- A PERSONAL CARD?
- CAN I SEE IT?
- NO, A PERSONAL CARD.
WHAT PART OF PERSONAL
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
- SHE'S GONNA SAY, "I CAN'T
MAKE IT TONIGHT BECAUSE..."
- "BECAUSE I WASN'T INVITED."
I THINK IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE AN OLIVE BRANCH,
BUT IT LOOKED LIKE THE WHOLE
DAMN TREE CAME IN THE ROOM.
- YOU FORGOT TO INVITE HER?
- NO, I DIDN'T.
WE ARE NOT IN A GREAT SPACE,
TO BE HONEST.
THE LAST FEW MONTHS,
I'LL TELL YOU.
IT'S NOT...
- WOW, YOU GIRLS
HAVE A LOT OF DRAMA.
- IT'S KIND OF STRANGE
FOR SOMEBODY TO SEND FLOWERS
TO AN EVENT
THEY'RE NOT INVITED TO.
- COMING UP...
- YOU WERE SAYING
YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING
I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
- OH, WELL TELL HER I SAID HI.
[indistinct chatter]
- WELL, IT'S THE BIGGEST
FLOWER ARRANGEMENT
I'VE NEVER RECEIVED.
- ARE YOU SURE IT'S FROM THEM?
- ABSOLUTELY.
- NO WAY.
- IT'S CALCULATING.
IT'S ALL ADRIENNE.
- "ADRIENNE. DEAR KEN AND LISA,
"CONGRATULATIONS
ON THE ANNIVERSARY.
WISHING YOU
A VERY SPECIAL EVENING,
ADRIENNE." - THAT'S A LIE.
THEY DON'T MEAN THAT.
- WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST COME?
- THEY DON'T MEAN THAT.
- THEY WEREN'T INVITED.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS
"LET ME MAKE SURE
EVERYONE KNOWS
WE WEREN'T INVITED,"
OR, "THIS IS REALLY A GESTURE
AND I'M REACHING OUT."
I SAW IT COMING IN AND
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT?"
I THOUGHT IT WAS
A SHAPE OF AN ANIMAL.
- IT'S LIKE A TURKEY.
IT'S LIKE A THANKSGIVING DAY
PARADE FLOAT.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD.
OKAY, HELP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
- WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?
ARE YOU GONNA COME OR NOT?
- I WOULD RATHER SAY TO YOU
THAT THERE IS A POSSIBILITY
I CAN'T BE THERE NOW
THAN TO SAY TO YOU, "OKAY,
I'LL BE THERE," AND NOT SHOW.
- I DON'T GET THE REASON STILL,
BUT THAT'S FINE.
YOU'RE SAYING
YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING
I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
I JUST FEEL LIKE
BETWEEN KIM AND ME,
THERE TENDS TO BE
AN UNDERLYING TENSION.
AND I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE RESENTMENT FROM THINGS
SHE'S DONE IN THE PAST.
- YOU STOLE MY GODDAMN HOUSE!
- [bleep] YOU
FOR TALKING LIKE THAT!
- IT'S NOT M-ME.
I STARTED SEEING HER DEMEANOR.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE
I KNOW HER SO MUCH.
- WELL, IT'S BULL[bleep].
- I'M RIGHT HERE.
- IT'S NOT BULL[bleep].
- IT IS BULL[bleep].
- MM-KAY, WELL...
- WHEN I WAS ANGRY WITH KIM,
WHEN SHE WAS DRINKING,
SHE WAS ANGRY AT ME
AND THE WAY I REACTED TO IT.
BUT NOW THAT SHE'S SOBER,
I KIND OF WONDER, LIKE,
WHY DO I STILL FEEL TENSION?
- WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETIMES
WE'LL JUST NEVER GET BACK
TO THE WAY WE WERE.
[sniffles]
- THIS SEASON ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[exclamations]
- FIND YOUR INNER SEXY!
- AHH.
- LET'S GO.
- OH, MY GOD.
- VROOM, VROOM, SHABANG!
- AAH! [laughter]
- DON'T DO...
I'M GONNA [bleep] KILL YOU.
WE'RE CRAZY.
- OH, MY GOD.
OH, I LOVE THIS.
- DIMITRI.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- THE SECRET MAN
IS OUT AND ABOUT.
- I JUST HAVE NEVER FELT
THIS SEXUAL.
- WE BETTER GIVE
SOME OF THOSE PILLS TO LISA.
- GIVE ME THE WHOLE BAG.
KEN, NO!
WAIT TILL OUR ANNIVERSARY.
KEN!
- [laughs] THIS IS...
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
- WHATEVER I SAID 30 YEARS AGO
STILL STANDS.
I WILL OBEY YOU.
[laughter]
- DARLING?
YOU NEVER REALIZE
HOW IMPORTANT SOMEBODY IS
UNTIL THERE'S JUST A CHANCE
THAT THEY COULD
BE TAKEN FROM YOU.
- HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
HE WAS MY EVERYTHING.
YOU WERE THE OTHER WOMAN.
[crying]
I'LL BE FINE. I'M ALWAYS FINE.
[exhales]
- KIM?
BECAUSE OF MY SISTER'S HISTORY,
I'M TERRIFIED
AS TO WHAT I MAY FIND.
- I WAS GONNA DIE.
- EVERY TIME MY PHONE
RANG IN THE NIGHT
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA SAY,
"YOUR SISTER'S DEAD."
- YOU DON'T SPEAK,
YOU DON'T SING.
- REALLY, WE DON'T WANNA SING.
WE DON'T WANT
TO BE A PART OF IT.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WE'RE NOT MAKING AN ALBUM HERE.
- YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF,
BECAUSE
YOU'RE A REAL [bleep]HOLE.
BUT IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
- THAT'S OUR POINT.
- THAT'S THE POINT, YOLANDA!
- WHO IS ADRIENNE MALOOF
IN THIS WORLD?
- UGH.
- SHE'S NOBODY.
- WE JUST HEARD COMMENTS
THAT THAT BITCH MADE,
SO I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.
- WHO?
- YOU JUST CALLED ME A BITCH.
- YOU ARE A BITCH.
- [bleep] YOU.
- YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].
- WELL, SCREW YOU.
- PIECE OF [bleep].
- YOU THINK I GET BRANDI
TO SPEAK ON MY BEHALF?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I THINK THAT YOU
GET HER WORKED UP.
- CAMILLE IS BEING A TOTAL BITCH
TRYING TO HUMILIATE ME.
- WHO GIVES A [bleep]
ABOUT SETTLING SCORES?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
SOMEBODY'S LIFE HERE.
- YOU NEVER LISTEN.
- HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
LIES AND PETTY GOSSIP
AND BULL[bleep], KEN.
- FRIENDS DO NOT SUE FRIENDS.
WE COULD'VE
TAKEN UMBRAGE AGAINST
BERNIE AND YOU
FOR WHAT YOU SAID.
- LET ME FINISH MY STATEMENT.
- OH, YOU FINISH
YOUR BULL[bleep],
AND THEN WE'LL TALK.
- MY BULL[bleep]?
- YOU'RE NOT SUING ME?
- NO. THERE WAS NO LAWSUIT.
- ADRIENNE, YOU'RE FULL
OF [bleep] [bleep].
- ADRIENNE, DO YOU SMELL SMOKE?
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
[coughs] - I'M LEAVING.
I'M TAKING THE KIDS.
- WE GOTTA GO IN.
- LET'S JUST GO.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT.
- JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
- MOVE!
PAUL DOESN'T GET IN THE CAR
WITH THE KIDS AND I.
BAD CHOICE.
- PAUL AND ADRIENNE SEPARATED.
- [crying]
- ADRIENNE.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT
THE HOUSEWIVES,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[cheering]
[dogs yapping]
- HEY, HEY.
- [laughs]
[cheering]
- I'M LOVING THE SUNGLASSES.
- $25,000.
- INSANE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- IT'S A TOUGH LIFE,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT.
- BIG HANDS, BIG FEET,
BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.
- BEVERLY HILLS, DARLING.
SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE.
- WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED.
- [laughs]
[orchestral music]
♪ ♪
- WE'VE GOT A NEW MAN.
WHERE IS HE?
- HI.
- IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT
MY SISTER SAY, "I LIKE HIM."
- BLECH.
- THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I CHOSE,
TO LOSE THREE OF MY KIDS.
- SHE SOUNDED LIKE
SHE WAS INTOXICATED.
- AND IF YOU 'FESS UP AND
JUST SAY, "I MISSED MY FLIGHT"...
- THERE'S NO NEED
TO 'FESS UP' WITH, MAURICE.
I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
I COULDN'T LOOK AT MYSELF
IN THE MIRROR ANYMORE.
- BRANDI.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IF YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG,
WOULD YOU REALLY
PUT A STILETTO WITH IT?
- IF YOU GIVE OFF,
LIKE, BITCHINESS,
YOU'RE GETTING IT BACK.
AND I'M PRETTY GOOD
AT BEING A BITCH.
- BRANDI, I SWEAR,
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND.
DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE?
- THIS IS DANGEROUS.
I SWEAR TO GOD...
- JUST DON'T INTERFERE
WITH MY BUSINESS.
- I DON'T KNOW WHO'S MY FRIEND.
MAYBE NOBODY IS.
- TAYLOR, DON'T [bleep]
WITH ME LIKE THAT.
I DON'T LIKE THAT, OKAY?
- IF YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND,
JUST PLEASE, DON'T BE MY ENEMY.
- YOU NEED TO BE HONEST.
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT COOL.
- FRIENDS DON'T SUE FRIENDS.
- TAYLOR IS IN A SUITCASE!
- I WANNA GO HOME.
- YOU'RE HAVING
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME.
- STOP! STOP, STOP!
- AT LEAST I DON'T
DO CRYSTAL METH
IN THE BATHROOM
ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.
- YOU WATCH YOUR [bleep] STEP.
- WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.
- YOU'RE A SLUT PIG.
- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.
- ENOUGH!
[upbeat music]
- LIFE ISN'T ALL
DIAMONDS AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF
EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- I'VE MOVED HOUSE.
IT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER
FROM MY OLD HOUSE.
MISS MALOOF
ISN'T ACROSS THE ROAD.
GOOD BOY.
[doorbell rings]
- LISA. MRS. VANDERPUMP.
- HELLO.
- HEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
- OH, GOOD LORD, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW I HAVE A PREREQUISITE.
- I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF?
- IF WE'RE TO BE FRIENDS,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF,
GO DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, AND...
Both: GAIN 20 POUNDS. [laughing]
- I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST ONE
TO SEE LISA'S HOUSE.
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'M THE CLOSEST
WITH HER RIGHT NOW,
AND I'M A LITTLE COMPETITIVE,
AND I'M, LIKE...
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO...
I'M A RACER, I'M IN A RACE,
AND I WANT TO WIN.
OH, THIS IS FOR YOU.
- OH.
- BUT I NEED KEN TO BE HERE.
SHOW ME, SHOW ME. I WANT TO SEE.
- OH, YOU DO?
- IT'S AMAZING.
- WE'LL OPEN THIS IN A SECOND.
YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE.
I THINK I WAS RETICENT TO BE
FRIENDS WITH BRANDI AT FIRST,
BECAUSE I KNEW
SHE HAD CONNECTIONS WITH CEDRIC.
I DON'T THINK
I GAVE HER A FAIR SHOT.
I'M HONEST WITH THAT.
SO I'VE DONE...
GONE FOR A REAL
KIND OF OPEN PLAN.
YOU KNOW ROSIA, BRANDI?
- I DO.
- YEAH, YEAH,
YOU'VE MET HER BEFORE.
- HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- THIS KITCHEN IS SO...
- KIND OF, LIKE, REAL OPEN PLAN.
I'VE JUST KIND OF EXTENDED IT
FROM THERE TO THERE.
AND THEN IT'S GOT A POOL TABLE.
- THIS IS LIKE THE
BACHELOR ROOM, KIND OF, RIGHT?
- YES.
- IT'S A LITTLE SEXY,
WITH THE DARKER COLORS,
NOT SO MANY DIAMONDS.
- I'M JUST LOVING
THIS NEW HOUSE.
WE WANTED SOMETHING
MORE OPEN PLAN,
WHERE WE COULD ACTUALLY
FIND EACH OTHER.
DARLING?
KEN?
- YEAH?
- WHERE ARE YOU?
IT'S VERY TRANQUIL HERE,
AND, UM, NO NEIGHBORS.
- SHOULD I DROP MY PURSE HERE?
- DO YOU...
DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSTAIRS?
- YES, ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
- TO GO INTO YOUR BEDROOM.
- BUT WITH ME, NOT MY HUSBAND.
- I KNOW.
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH LISA
SINCE HAWAII,
WE'VE REALLY BONDED.
YOU KNOW,
WE STARTED HAVING LUNCHES,
AND THEN LUNCHES
TURNED INTO DINNERS,
AND THEN DINNERS
TURNED INTO SLEEPOVERS,
AND THEN... JUST KIDDING.
- WELL,
THERE'S A GUEST BEDROOM THERE,
A GYM, AND ANOTHER BEDROOM,
AND A TERRACE.
THAT'S KEN'S CLOSET THERE.
[both laughing]
- WOW, I LOVE ALL THE COLOR.
- STOP SNIFFING HIS UNDERWEAR.
- HE DOESN'T CARE THAT YOU HAVE,
LIKE, AN ALL-PINK ROOM?
- NO, HE'S VERY SECURE.
- WITH HIS MANHOOD.
- YOU LEAVE HIS MANHOOD
OUT OF THIS.
- I-I CAN'T HELP
BUT THINK OF IT.
- WE'LL NOT TALK ABOUT MY
HUSBAND'S MANHOOD, OKAY?
- [bleep] YOU.
- [laughs] I DO LOVE IT.
- I'M SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.
- ARE YOU... NO, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE JEALOUS.
- NO, I THOUGHT
THAT WAS A MIRROR.
- NO.
- IT GOES INTO YOUR BATH...
I CAN BE JEALOUS
IF I WANT TO BE.
MY WHOLE HOUSE IS THE SIZE
OF YOUR CLOSET AND BATHROOM.
THIS IS SO PRETTY. OH, MY GOSH.
- HI.
- HI.
HONEY, YOU'RE HOME.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I THOUGHT YOU'D ARRIVE.
BRANDI'S VERY HONEST.
SHE SAYS SHE WANTS
TO HAVE SEX WITH KEN.
KEN'S VERY HONEST.
HE SAYS HE WANTS
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.
I'M VERY HONEST.
I SAY I WANT
TO HAVE SEX WITH NOBODY.
- THIS ONE IS FOR KEN.
- OH, MY GOD.
- ME?
- YES, MY BOYF...
I MEAN, MY FRIEND.
YOU NEED THAT TO GET TO THIS.
- WHAT IS THIS?
- OH, YES.
- SUPER STRAP?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- I SLIP AND SLIDE?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- WHO AM I GOING
TO SLIP AND SLIDE WITH?
- KEN.
AFTER YOU DO A SHOT OF TEQUILA.
- WHAT IS THAT? both: TEQUILA.
- TEQUILA GUN.
- OH, YOU'RE VERY SWEET.
- PUT IT IN YOUR LITTLE, LIKE,
THAT MAN BAR DOWNSTAIRS.
RUBBER SHEET, TEQUILA GUN.
NORMAL TUESDAY NIGHT
FOR THE VANDERPUMPS.
KEY WORD PUMP.
- I WAS WORRIED
WHEN IT SAID "SUPER STRAP."
[both laughing]
- I THINK...
I THINK I'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS.
- IT'S LIKE WE HAVE
A LITTLE SISTERLY BOND,
AND WE BOTH HAVE,
LIKE, DIRTY MINDS.
- THANK YOU
FOR MY SLIP AND SLIDE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
SO WHAT'S THE...
VILLA BLANCA'S
THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
- YEAH.
WE'VE BEEN OPEN THREE YEARS.
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW,
JUST ONCE A YEAR,
WE HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TOGETHER,
HAVE A DRINK.
- IS EVERYONE COMING?
- YEAH. EVERYBODY'S COMING.
- ADRIENNE?
- UM, NO, I DIDN'T INVITE HER.
NO.
I WAS VERY HURT
BY WHAT WENT DOWN WITH ADRIENNE.
IT TAKES A LOT TO PISS ME OFF,
BUT SHE MANAGED IT.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY?
- TO THE TABLOIDS?
- YEAH.
- I'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY...
- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT
FOR A MINUTE.
- IN MY LIFE,
AND I WON'T BE ACCUSED OF THAT.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH
A [bleep] INSULT.
IF SHE WANTS TO EVER
OPEN A CONVERSATION
WITH AN APOLOGY,
THEN SHE'LL HAVE ME
AS AN AUDIENCE.
UNTIL THEN, I'M NOT INTERESTED,
TO BE HONEST.
SO, THAT'S IT.
- WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
THE OTHER GIRLS
ARE GOING TO TELL HER
ABOUT THE PARTY?
- OH, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING ANGST ABOUT IT?
- WELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON
THAN ME.
- NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
MAYBE I'M JUST OLDER THAN YOU.
OLDER AND WISER.
- WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY OLDER.
[laughs]
- [laughs]
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE HAS BEEN
VERY HECTIC LATELY.
MY SISTER KIM GOT OUT OF REHAB,
AND WE REALLY HAVE BEEN TRYING
TO REBUILD OUR RELATIONSHIP.
SOME DAYS, IT'S EASY.
SOME DAYS, NOT SO MUCH.
- HONEY.
I'M HOME.
- HI, HONEY.
- HONEY?
- I'M GETTING READY,
'CAUSE WE HAVE DINNER
WITH FRANCISCO AND DEBRA.
- CAN YOU COME DOWN
FOR A SECOND?
SOMEBODY, LIKE,
DESTROYED OUR FRONT LAWN.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WAS JUST OUTSIDE.
[gasps] - [chuckles]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- IT'S THE ONE YOU LIKED,
SO WE JUST...
- OH...
- WHEN WE WERE WINDOW SHOPPING.
- MY... GOD.
WAIT, IS THAT MINE?
OBVIOUSLY, IT HAS A BOW ON IT,
IT'S MINE, RIGHT?
OH, MY GOD.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
- THAT'S THE ONE.
- I'M SO EXCITED.
THANK YOU.
- DON'T YOU LOVE IT?
- OH, MY GOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
MY HUSBAND KNEW
THAT I WANTED THIS CAR
FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
SO I HAD BEEN DOING
MAJOR HINTING.
- SO HOT.
- WAIT, I WANT TO HEAR.
- IT'S A LITTLE TOO MASCULINE.
I MAY NOT LET YOU KEEP IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS NOT MASCULINE, HONEY.
THIS IS SEXY.
I'VE DONE THE MOMMY CAR THING
FOR A LONG TIME,
SO MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, AUSTIN.
[engine revving]
WHOO-HOO!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE'S BEEN GREAT.
PAUL AND I ARE BUSY
WITH OUR CAREERS.
MY CHILDREN
ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY.
I'M VERY LUCKY.
- THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- YOU WANT TO ORDER NOW,
OR YOU WANT TO WAIT?
- SHOULD WE DO IT?
- GO AHEAD, THEN, IF YOU...
- HE KNOWS WHAT I WANT.
- [indistinct] WITH SPAGHETTI.
- LET'S CLOCK HOW LONG IT TAKES
FOR HIM TO ORDER.
- NO, NO. THIS'LL BE QUICK.
WATCH, IT'S QUICK. YOU READY?
I'LL HAVE THE, UM, TRICOLORE.
- YES, SIR.
- AND I'M GOING
TO HAVE THAT SPELT.
- SPELT SPAGHETTI.
- HOWEVER, THE SAUCE...
GIACOMINO GAVE ME, LAST TIME...
- HERE IT GOES.
- AT THE OTHER RESTAURANT,
SOME, UM...
IT WAS A VERY HEALTHY SAUCE.
IT WAS NOT ARRABBIATA.
IT WAS SOMETHING.
- WAS IT WHITE OR RED?
- FRESH TOMATOES, GARLIC, BASIL?
- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GOING
TO HAVE THE ARRABBIATA.
- THE ARRABBIATA.
THAT'S PRETTY HEALTHY.
- THAT'S NICE AND SPICY.
- THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
- I'LL HAVE THE ARRABBIATA.
- YEAH.
WONDERFUL. THANK YOU.
[phone ringing]
- IS YOUR PHONE RINGING?
- HEY, TAYLOR.
HOW... HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, I'M ACTUALLY
HAVING DINNER WITH PAUL.
- WHY DON'T YOU
PUT HER ON SPEAKER?
- CAN I PUT YOU ON SPEAKER?
HE WANTS TO SAY HI.
- HI, TAYLOR.
- HI, PAUL.
WELL, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT
HAVING A ROMANTIC DINNER?
- OH, YES,
WE ARE HAVING A VERY ROMANT...
IT'S A DINNER OF LOVE.
- [laughs]
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU.
I WANTED TO SEE
IF YOU HAVE ANY TIME
TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME THIS WEEK
BECAUSE I GAINED TEN POUNDS,
AND NOW I CAN'T SQUEEZE
INTO A SINGLE COCKTAIL DRESS
THAT I OWN,
AND WE HAVE THE VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY EVENT COMING UP,
AND I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO WEAR.
- IT WAS VERY SHOCKING,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT LISA'S PARTY.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT,
AND I MISS YOU.
- I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, GIRL.
- BYE.
- THANKS.
- OKAY, HONEY.
- BYE.
THE LAST TIME
WE WERE ALL TOGETHER,
IT WAS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
BETWEEN LISA AND I.
- I DON'T NEED $100.
REALLY, ADRIENNE.
- I THINK IT'S MORE LIKE,
WHAT, $25,000?
- FOR WHAT?
- TO SELL A STORY.
- ABOUT WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WOULD KNOW.
I DON'T SELL STORIES.
BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT IT'S A WASTE OF TIME
TO HOLD A GRUDGE. YOU MOVE ON.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
- VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY PARTY?
- THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
- WELL, SHE'S PROBABLY NOT
INVITING US.
- DON'T SAY THAT.
THAT'S NOT NICE.
TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING.
AND IF THAT WAS HER INTENTION,
THAT'S REALLY [bleep].
Announcer: COMING UP...
- FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU...
- YEAH.
- TO SOMETHING, IT JUST NEVER
EVEN CROSSED MY MIND.
- IT'S GETTING TO BE VERY PETTY.
- SO CUTE.
YOU'RE SO CUTE, FLUFFY.
MY NAME IS YOLANDA FOSTER.
I WAS BORN IN A SMALL TOWN
CALLED PAPENDRECHT, IN HOLLAND.
AT THE AGE OF 16,
I WAS DISCOVERED BY EILEEN FORD.
THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
I WAS ON THE RUNWAY
IN PARIS AND MILAN,
AND MY LIFE AS A MODEL STARTED.
- GOOD BOY, FLUFFY.
[makes kissing noises]
GOOD BOY.
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
WHEN PEOPLE WALK
INTO THIS HOUSE, THEY'RE LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS INCREDIBLE."
I ACTUALLY DREW AND BUILT
EVERY INCH OF THIS HOUSE.
LISA HAS INVITED ME TO GO
TO HER ANNIVERSARY PARTY
AT VILLA BLANCA.
FLUFF!
OH, YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
- I KNOW YOLANDA
OSTENSIBLY AS MOHAMED'S EX-WIFE.
OH, I LOVE HIM.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MOHAMED,
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHO'S SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
I'M PRETTY CLOSE
TO HER CHILDREN, ACTUALLY,
BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE
WITH MOHAMED,
WE OFTEN HAVE LUNCH AND DINNER.
I THINK SHE'S A FORCE
TO BE RECKONED WITH.
- I HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
ANWAR IS 12 YEARS OLD,
BELLA IS 15, AND GIGI'S 17.
I'M CRAZY FOR MY BABIES.
I MEAN, THEY ARE MY LIFE.
MY HUSBAND IS DAVID FOSTER,
16-TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNER.
HE'S WORKED WITH
BARBRA STREISAND,
WHITNEY HOUSTON,
CELINE DION, MICHAEL JACKSON.
- [indistinct] IS GONE.
- YEAH.
- AND, UH, HE'S A GENIUS.
HI, MY LOVE. - HI, BABY.
- COFFEE.
- OH, NICE.
THANKS, BABE.
- DAVID...
HE ALWAYS LAUGHS ABOUT ME,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I AM THE MOST ROMANTIC PERSON
HE'S EVER MET.
- A LITTLE FLOWER
TO BRIGHTEN US UP.
- THANK YOU.
- EXACTLY.
- 'CAUSE WE ARE NOT
VERY BRIGHT RIGHT NOW.
- I KNOW.
FLOWERS FROM YOUR GARDEN,
MY LOVE.
WHEN I MET DAVID, I SAID,
"DON'T BUY ME ANY JEWELRY.
JUST WRITE ME LOVE NOTES."
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY,
OR NOT A GOOD DAY?
- UM, ARE WE HAVING A GOOD DAY?
- NO, WE'RE NOT.
- WELL, WE'VE DONE...
WE'VE DONE THREE SONGS.
THIS IS NUMBER FOUR.
WE HAVE 20 SONGS TO DO.
- BEFORE TUESDAY?
- NO, BEFORE TONIGHT.
WELL, FOR SIX YEARS,
I'VE BEEN WRITING LOVE LETTERS.
IT'S NOT EASY, BUT IT'S, UM...
IT'S SOMETHING
THAT SHE DOESN'T DEMAND,
BUT IT'S SOMETHING
THAT SHE COMMANDS.
- BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY
YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE
ALL THESE PEOPLE
THAT LOVE ANDREA BOCELLI?
- AND VERONICA AND ANDREA
ARE GOING TO SING ON A BALCONY.
THEY'RE GOING TO SING A SONG
TOGETHER ON A BALCONY.
- OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.
- THAT'S CUTE, YEAH.
- WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT
NEED, YOU KNOW, ATTENTION,
I JUST GO TO MY BOX
WHERE I HAVE, LIKE,
A STACK OF LOVE LETTERS,
AND I JUST READ ONE,
AND IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE
A ROMANTIC NIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL?
- YEAH, IF THEY CAN COME.
- NO, THEY CAN'T.
ROMANTIC FOR TWO ONLY.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I WOULDN'T GO THE OBNOXIOUS
ROUTE WITH ME RIGHT NOW
AFTER ALL... THIS MEANS TO ME.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME
FOR YOU TO BE MEAN TO ME.
HELLO?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HI.
- HI, HONEY.
- I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
- YOU HUNGRY?
- YES.
- I'M STARVING.
- STARVING.
- LET'S GO EAT SOMETHING.
- SO I'VE BEEN HOME
FROM TREATMENT
FOR A LITTLE OVER A MONTH.
THESE FLOWERS ARE AMAZING.
- THANK YOU.
- MY KIDS WENT WITH ME
TO TAKE ME THERE.
I'VE HAD AMAZING SUPPORT
THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE.
- WELL, TODAY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
- MM-HMM.
BECAUSE OF KIMBERLY'S PROM,
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY.
SHE'S MY YOUNGEST,
AND I WANT HER TO FEEL
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL.
AND I KNOW MY SISTER KATHY HAS
BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.
- YOU DEFINITELY WANT
TO WEAR WHITE?
- MM, I DON'T KNOW.
I KIND OF WANT TO WEAR BLACK.
BLACK OR WHITE.
- SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND, KATHY.
BUT I FIGURED
YOU'D HAVE A VARIETY.
- BLACK OR WHITE.
- I WORE BLACK.
AND DID YOU ORDER
HIS BOUTONNIERE?
- WHAT'S A BOUTONNIERE?
- WHAT IS A BOUTONNIERE, KATHY?
- YOU'RE JOKING.
- YOU'RE JOKING.
- WELL, YOU'RE GOING
TO GET A CORSAGE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- AND THEN THE BOUTONNIERE
IS, LIKE, THE LITTLE...
- OH, THE...
- THE FLOWER THING.
- OKAY, THE FLOWER THING.
- RIGHT.
SO WE HAVE TO DO THAT.
- YEAH, I HAVE TO DO THAT NOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S IT CALLED?
- A BOUTONNIERE.
- [laughs]
I MEAN, I'VE GOT A BOOT,
AND I CAN HEAR.
I'M VERY CLOSE WITH KATHY.
WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER,
WE'RE ON THE PHONE.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T
HAVE THAT WITH KYLE RIGHT NOW.
REMEMBER THE PROM
THAT I WENT TO WITH DAN?
- YES, I DO.
- THE CAR PULLS UP, AND IT'S...
A PICKUP TRUCK
WITH THE CAMPER ON THE BACK.
AND ALL I KEPT THINKING WAS,
"HE'S GOING TO TRY
AND GET ME IN THE BACK
OF THIS CAMPER."
THAT WAS WHAT WENT
THROUGH MY HEAD,
THE WHOLE NIGHT.
I WAS SO SCARED.
THEN HE TOOK ME TO THIS PARTY,
AND WE HAD FUN,
AND WE GOT HOME,
AND HE KISSED ME.
[gasps]
HE STARTS TO LEAN TOWARDS ME,
AND I'M LIKE,
"OH, NO.
I NEVER DID THIS BEFORE."
HE PUT HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH.
IT WAS SO GROSS!
[both laughing]
- OH, WOW.
- OKAY.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- MY LITTLE SALON.
- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I LOVE, I LOVE,
THE FLOWERS ON THIS.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I GUESS I COULD CHANGE
FROM BLACK TO WHITE.
- NOW LOOK AT THIS.
- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I WANTED.
I WANTED AN OPEN BACK.
- I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU,
I TOLD YOU
AUNT KATHY WOULD HELP YOU.
- AND IT HAS
THE LITTLE BUILT-IN BRA,
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ANY LITTLE...
- THAT'S AWESOME.
- YOU DON'T WEAR ANYTHING.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- LOOK AT THAT COLOR.
- THAT I SEE ON PARIS.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE WORE THE SHORTER VERSION
TO MY BIRTHDAY.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
IT'S TOUGH
WATCHING YOUR KIDS GROW UP
AND BECOME YOUNG WOMEN
AND YOUNG MEN,
BUT I LOVE IT.
Both: LET ME SEE.
- TURN SIDEWAYS.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL ON YOU.
WHAT WE COULD DO, EVEN?
WE COULD TAKE IT UP
JUST A LITTLE BIT IN FRONT,
AND THEN LEAVE...
- YEAH, THAT WOULD ACTUALLY
BE PRETTY.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH?
- IT FEELS SO SOFT.
- HELLO?
- CAN YOU HELP ME GET UP NOW?
- HELLO?
- HELLO.
- HI.
- THAT'S MY WORKOUT.
- OH, MY GOD.
- HI.
- THAT LOOKS GORGEOUS ON YOU.
ARE YOU EXCITED?
- VERY EXCITED.
- OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, KIMBERLY.
I LOVE THAT.
HI.
- HI, SWEETIE.
- HI, HI.
- HI.
- I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY
THAT MY SISTER IS SOBER.
ALL OF OUR ARGUMENTS
REALLY HAS STEMMED
FROM WHEN SHE WASN'T CLEAN.
NOW, SO HE'S PICKING HER UP?
I'M ALWAYS SCARED AT PROM.
- HAVE YOU MET HIM YET?
- NO.
- HE'S CUTE, HE'S BIG.
HE'S NOT A LITTLE GUY.
HE'S NOT, LIKE, TINY,
LIKE KIMBERLY.
- HOW OLD?
- 20.
- OOH, THAT MAKES ME
UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I KNOW.
AND I-I DID TELL YOU AND KATHY,
I FOUND THEM KISSING
THE OTHER DAY.
- WHAT'S NEXT?
- JUST STOP!
- JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THINGS,
AND DON'T GIVE THEM A CHANCE
TO BE ALONE.
- EVER.
- EVER.
I JUST DON'T SPEND
A LOT OF TIME WITH KYLE.
WHEN I SAW HER, IT WAS JUST...
IT'S HARD.
- I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S WHAT...
- THEY DON'T...
- THEY ALL SAY, ON PROM NIGHT.
- I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME
IN MOVIES.
- THAT'S WHAT I HEAR.
- BUT MY KID'S NOT.
AND I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH...
- YOUR KID HASN'T BEEN
TO A PROM YET.
- HE SAID THAT THEY WEREN'T
GOING TO DO IT
'TILL THEY'RE MARRIED.
- HMM, THAT'S GOOD. YOU JUST...
- THAT'S WHAT THEY DECIDED.
IN MY SOBRIETY,
I NEED TO FORGIVE,
AND I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD.
THE HARDEST PART IS, SOMETIMES,
TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY
TO SOMEBODY
YOU FEEL HAS WRONGED YOU.
I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING.
- COMING UP...
- HELLO, DARLING.
- IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA?
- YEAH.
I'M INVITING YOU OVER
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU GUYS CAN'T HAVE
THIS MANY TREATS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR ME?
CAN YOU DANCE?
- OKAY.
[knocks at door]
- HELLO.
- HELLO!
- OH, YOU'RE TALL TODAY.
- OH, I'M TALL. LOOK AT YOU.
- YES! I HAVE FLATS.
- OKAY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT
DRESS AROUND MY HUSBAND.
- WELL, THAT WAS WHY
I BOUGHT IT.
- [laughs] OKAY, PERFECT.
HELLO. WHO ARE THESE?
- THAT IS CHICA,
AND THAT IS SUGAR.
- OH, THEY'RE SO SWEET.
AND THESE ARE BOTH
FROM THE SHELTER, AREN'T THEY?
- YEAH.
WELCOME TO MY HOME.
- ALL RIGHT.
- [laughs]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR
ON WEDNESDAY?
- OH, GOD, I HAVEN'T EVEN
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING PINK,
SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE.
- NO, I WON'T.
I THINK I MIGHT WEAR BLACK.
- UM, NO, I DON'T KNOW.
JUST A DRE... NOT...
NOTHING TOO DRESSED UP.
- I'M NOT SUPER EXCITED ABOUT
SEEING TAYLOR
AT THE VILLA BLANCA PARTY.
WHEN'S THE BOOK COME OUT,
ANYWAY?
IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A HOT MINUTE.
- THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OKAY? YOU'RE WAY
OUT OF YOUR PLACE.
- YOU'VE MADE IT
THE WORLD'S BUSINESS!
SO I'M HOPING THAT WE CAN JUST
SAY "HI," AND, LIKE,
DO OUR SEPARATE THINGS.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN...
WELL, I'VE SEEN KIM ONCE.
- AND SHE LOOKS GOOD, YOU SAID.
[liquid tinkling]
THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. - YEAH.
I THINK SHE'S DOING QUITE WELL.
- KIM AND I DON'T HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.
SINCE HAWAII WE HAVEN'T REALLY
HAD ANY INTERACTION.
- I THINK THE SISTERS ALWAYS
GO BACK AND FORWARDS.
I DON'T HAVE A SISTER, BUT...
- IF MY SISTER LIVED IN TOWN,
I WOULD PROBABLY...
WE ARGUE ENOUGH WHEN SHE'S...
- EXACTLY.
- YOU KNOW, AN HOUR AWAY FLIGHT.
- YEAH.
- I'M GLAD
YOU DIDN'T BRING GIGGY.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN DRAMA.
AND THEY COULD HAVE
MAYBE HAD A THREESOME.
- [laughs] GIGGY'S A GIGOLO.
- LET'S MAKE SOME CALLS.
WHO ARE YOU GONNA INVITE
TO YOUR PARTY?
- WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
OKAY, I'LL TEACH YOU
HOW TO DO IT.
PORTIA IS TURNING
FOUR YEARS OLD,
AND SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED.
SHE'S REALLY ENJOYING PLANNING
THIS BIRTHDAY.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO CALL FIRST?
- [takes big breath]
UM, KENNEDY'S MOM.
- KENNEDY'S MOM? [chuckles]
OKAY, THAT WOULD BE TAYLOR.
MY GOD, FARRAH'S ALREADY
GRADUATED COLLEGE.
ALEXIA'S GONNA BE DRIVING SOON.
SOPHIA'S GRADUATING
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
IT'S ALL FLYING BY
WAY TOO QUICKLY FOR ME.
[line ringing]
- HELLO?
- WHO IS THIS?
- HI, IT'S TAYLOR. WHO'S THIS?
- THIS IS PORTIA.
- HI, PORTIA!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WE'RE INVITING YOU TO MY...
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- YOU ARE?
- YEAH.
- I AM SO EXCITED.
I WILL BE THERE!
- SEE YOU SATURDAY!
- OKAY, HONEY.
OKAY, BYE.
- BYE. OKAY.
[dialing number]
[whispering] IT'S AUNT KIM.
[line ringing]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY
TO AUNT KIM?
- [whispering] I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, BE THINKING ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE
GONNA PLAN A PARTY,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT RIGHT,
PORTIA.
HELLO?
- YOU HAVE REACHED
THE SPRINT VOICE MAIL BOX...
- UGH.
- OF 3-1-0...
THAT MAILBOX IS FULL.
- BIG SHOCK.
JUST BECAUSE KIM IS SOBER
DOESN'T MEAN I CAN REACH HER.
STILL UNPREDICTABLE.
- GOOD-BYE.
- OH, IT'S SO, SO ANNOYING.
- [laughs]
[line ringing] - KYLE.
- OH.
- HELLO?
- HELLO?
- HELLO, THIS IS LISA.
WHO'S THAT?
IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA?
- YEAH.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, DARLING.
- [laughs]
- WHAT DO YOU WANT,
LITTLE PORTIA?
- I'M INVITING YOU OVER
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- OH, I WOULD LOVE
TO COME... BIRTHDAY PARTY.
NOW, WHEN IS IT?
WHEN IS IT?
- 1:00.
IT'S SATURDAY AT 1...
- I CAN'T WAIT!
- IT'S SATURDAY, 1:00,
AT OUR HOUSE.
- OH, HELLO, MOMMY.
SATURDAY, 1:00, AT YOUR HOUSE.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- I DON'T EVEN WANT...
OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, THANKS.
- OKAY.
BRANDI...
- BRANDI, WHY DON'T YOU COME
AND BRING YOUR BOYS?
- I WOULD LOVE TO.
- THAT'S NICE.
- THANK YOU VERY...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
KYLE AND I ARE FINE.
WE'VE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS,
AND OUR CRAZY TIME,
BUT WE ACTUALLY
GET ALONG REALLY WELL.
AND I THINK WE'RE FINE.
I MEAN, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
- OKAY, YOU GUYS.
SAY, "WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY."
- WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
I'LL SPEAK TO YOU LATER.
- SAY, "BYE, DARLING."
- TELL PORTIA
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- BYE, DARLING.
- OH, BYE, DARLING. [laughs]
SHE'S SO CUTE!
- THAT IS...
I KIND OF... I THINK I JUST FORCED
MYSELF ON HER WHEN I SAID,
"HI, IT'S BRANDI."
- NO, YOU DIDN'T.
- I MIGHT HAVE.
- LOOK, SHE'S...
- BUT I-I...
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT,
THAT'S IT.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
LET IT GO, IT'S FINE.
AND IF YOUR BOYS ARE AVAILABLE,
THEN TAKE THEM.
WE NEED TO START MENDING
SOME BRIDGES HERE.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
[beeping]
- BYE, DARLING.
- BYE, DARLING.
[laughs] - BYE.
- OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
- [giggles]
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
- WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
- [laughs]
- IT'S BEEN NINE MONTHS
SINCE I LOST RUSSELL.
AT TIMES I DO GET OVERWHELMED
WITH THE SITUATIONS
I'VE BEEN LEFT WITH,
LAWSUITS,
AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES.
BUT NOW IT'S JUST ABOUT
GETTING UP EVERY DAY
AND PUTTING ONE FOOT
IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO PICK UP ALL THESE PIECES
AND START A NEW CHAPTER
IN MY LIFE.
HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- GOOD.
I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR SOMETHING NEW.
- ALL RIGHT,
WE GOT TONS OF THAT.
- ONE THING ADRIENNE
AND I CAN ALWAYS
CONNECT ON IS SHOPPING.
WE HAVE, LIKE, SIMILAR TASTE
AND IT'LL BE FUN.
SHE'LL GIVE ME
HER HONEST OPINION.
- HELLO.
- HEY, YOU. [chuckles]
HERE I AM ON THE BLACK
AND GRAY RACK AS ALWAYS.
- OF COURSE, I KNOW.
I LOVE BLACK TOO.
HI. - HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU LOOK GOOD.
- THANK YOU
FOR COMING TO MEET ME.
- TAYLOR SAID
SHE HAD GAINED TEN POUNDS.
THOSE TEN POUNDS
LOOK TERRIFIC ON HER THOUGH.
- SO HOW'S PAUL?
- UM, HE'S BUSY
WITH THE PRACTICE.
HE'S THINKING ABOUT
BEING BICOASTAL.
HE MIGHT MOVE
PART OF HIS PRACTICE
TO NEW YORK, SO BACK AND FORTH.
- GIVE YOU A REASON TO GO.
- YEAH, TO BE BICOASTAL.
- YEAH, EXACTLY.
- BUT OF COURSE, I... YOU KNOW,
I DON'T WANNA LEAVE MY KIDS
TOO MUCH, SO...
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
AND PLUS YOU WOULD
MISS PAUL, TERRIBLY.
- I WOULD. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- [laughs]
- YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I JUST THOUGHT
I'D HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT ONE.
- YEAH, YES. THANK YOU, DEAR.
- OKAY, I'M COMING OUT.
OKAY, I CAN'T DECIDE
IF LIKE THIS,
OR IF LOOK LIKE MC HAMMER.
- NO WAY. I LIKE THAT.
- [laughs] ARE YOU SURE?
- YES, IT'S ACTUALLY
VERY FLATTERING.
- YEAH?
- IN THE COLOR.
- AND IT'S DRAWSTRING,
SO IT'S FORGIVING.
- LOVE THAT.
- OKAY, CHECK...
ON ONE THING. [laughs]
- THAT'S A MUST.
- THIS IS CUTE.
- OKAY, I KNOW THAT
WE AREN'T LOVING THE CAPRI,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE ROLLED UP
FOR RUNNING AROUND WITH KENNEDY?
- I LIKE THAT.
- THEY'RE SUPER STRETCHY.
- AND I LIKE THE TOP.
WELL, YOUR LEGS LOOK REALLY TINY
IN THOSE BIG SHOES. - PERFECT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE
IN THE BIG SHOES.
- [laughs]
JUST LIKE THE BIG PURSES,
REMEMBER.
- EXACTLY, THE BIGGER THE PURSE,
THE SMALLER THE BUTT.
- YES, YES.
AND THE HIGHER THE HEEL,
THE CLOSER TO GOD.
- I'M FEELING A LITTLE AWKWARD
BECAUSE LISA CHOSE
NOT TO INVITE ADRIENNE
TO VILLA BLANCA.
AND I FEEL LIKE A BIG JERK
FOR LETTING THE CAT
OUT OF THE BAG.
SORRY I HAD TO BE, LIKE,
both: THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS.
- IT'S OKAY.
- AND I JUST...
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN NEIGHBORS
FOR SO LONG.
SO FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU
TO SOMETHING?
IT JUST NEVER EVEN
CROSSED MY MIND,
EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE HAD
A LITTLE FRICTION OR WHATEVER.
- YEAH, BUT...
- IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
THE LONGEVITY
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP,
IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN
JUST GO ACROSS THE STREET
ANYMORE THOUGH,
NOW THAT SHE MOVED.
- NO, NO.
- IT'S PROBABLY GONNA...
- I THOUGHT WE HAD MOVED ON
AND...
AND, UM, APPARENTLY
SHE'S STILL UPSET.
TO NOT BE INVITED
IS A LITTLE BIT MEAN GIRL-ISH.
AND IT SEEMED PRETTY,
UH, FRIVOLOUS
TO GO TO THIS EXTENT.
I DON'T LIKE THIS.
THIS ISN'T ME...
I THINK IT'S SUCH A WASTE
OF REALLY VALUABLE TIME.
AND IT'S GETTING TO BE
VERY PETTY.
AND NOT ONLY ALL MY FRIENDS,
BUT MY FRIENDS' FRIENDS
WERE GOING.
SO OF COURSE BEING LEFT OUT
IS HURTFUL.
- COMING UP...
- IT'S A SMALL TOWN.
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW EVERYONE.
YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
- WE JUST SLEPT WITH EVERY GUY
IN THIS TOWN, INTERESTING.
[cork pops]
- THAT IS SO CUTE.
IF YOU'VE GOT
TIME TO SIT AROUND,
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
GET ON EVERYBODY.
YOU'RE, LIKE,
ONE OF MY HEAD SERVERS.
COME ON.
I'VE BEEN SO PREOCCUPIED
WITH MOVING,
I REALLY HAVEN'T HAD TIME
TO SEE ANYBODY LATELY.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICE
JUST TO KIND OF
SEE SOME FAMILIAR FACES.
KNOCK IT BACK DOWN IN ONE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DOWN IT
IN ONE, RIGHT?
- OH, JESUS.
- YOU DON'T LOVE THAT?
I LOVE THAT.
- OH, YEAH. IT'S HOT THOUGH.
[background chatter]
- THANK YOU. OKAY.
- WOW. BEAUTIFUL DAY.
- [chuckles]
- THANK YOU.
WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
HI. - HELLO!
- LISA, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
- OH, NO, YOU'RE WELCOME.
LET'S GET YOU A DRINK.
- [giggles] THANK YOU.
- AH, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO.
- [chuckles]
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR AGES.
- I KNOW.
- YOU LOOK WELL.
- THANK YOU.
LOOKIN' GOOD. BABY STEPS.
- NO, YOU'VE DONE A BIG STEP.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
- YEAH, THANK YOU.
- KIM WAS THERE,
HALLE-BLOODY-LUJAH.
ANYWAY, I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEBODY.
- OKAY.
- YOLANDA, THIS IS KIM.
- HI, KIM, HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- SO WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
- JUST WATER...
I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- SOMETHING? ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- YOU STAY CLOSE TO ME,
BECAUSE I'M DRINKING WATER TOO.
WE'LL HAVE A WATER PARTY.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THAT WOULD BE REALLY EXCITING.
- REALLY EXCITING.
DO YOU LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS,
OR WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
- I JUST MOVED BACK, LIKE,
HALFWAY IN BETWEEN...
I WAS LIVING OUT IN WESTLAKE.
- YEAH.
- IT WAS A LITTLE
TOO FAR OUT FOR MY FAMILY,
SO NOW I JUST MOVED
A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.
NOT QUITE ALL THE WAY,
BUT I GET A LITTLE CLOSER.
YEAH. - YEAH, GOOD.
- THIS IS WATER, RIGHT?
- YES.
- THANK YOU. CHEERS, GIRL.
- ALL RIGHTY.
- YOU MUST BE FREEZING.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THERE ARE, LIKE, NAKED ANGELS
WITH BIG FEATHERS
AND WINGS AND...
I WOULDN'T HAVE
EXPECTED ANYTHING LESS.
HELLO!
- HOW ARE YOU? HI, YOLANDA.
- THIS IS YOLANDA.
- I KNOW YOLANDA.
NO, I KNOW... I MET HER BEFORE.
- NO.
- YEAH, WE'VE MET.
- YEAH.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- WE, UH... I MEAN,
WE DO LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU? - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOLANDA.
- YOLANDA,
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- THANK YOU.
- UH, REMEMBER ME?
- I-I'M JUST
GETTING TO KNOW HER.
- YOU'RE GETTING TO ME, RIGHT?
OKAY.
- OH, IT'S SO PRICKLY.
IT'S LIKE KISSING A BROOM.
- OH, GIVE ME A KISS.
- YOU LOVE IT.
- I DO NOT LOVE IT.
- WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW
I DON'T HAVE TO?
- [laughs]
- I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO GOING TO VILLA BLANCA.
I GUESS THE ONLY THING
THAT I'M NOT
LOOKING FORWARD TO
IS SEEING BRANDI.
WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN RED.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- TAYLOR, YOU KNOW YOLANDA?
- HI. WE'VE NEVER
OFFICIALLY MET,
BUT IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
- OH, GOSH.
THANK YOU.
WOW. [laughs]
THIS IS CRAZY, WOW.
THIS IS AWESOME.
YOU GUYS SHOULD
COME HOME WITH ME.
THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. [laughter]
both: HELLO! - OH, MY GOD.
NOW I REALLY DO
FEEL LIKE A DWARF.
OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU.
YOLANDA, MEET BRANDI. - HI.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOLANDA. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOUR EX-HUSBAND IS MOHAMED.
- YES. IT'S A SMALL TOWN.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW EVERYONE.
YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD.
- I WAS SPEECHLESS.
WE JUST SLEPT WITH
EVERY GUY IN THIS TOWN,
INTERESTING.
- WHO'S HERE? WHO'S HERE?
I'M NERVOUS.
- WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT?
- WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW, I'M KINDA
NERVOUS TO SEE EVERYONE.
- BRANDI STARTED OFF ON
A KIND OF BAD...
IN A BAD PLACE WITH
THE OTHER WOMEN,
TO BE HONEST.
- AND I'M STILL THERE.
I'M REALLY NERVOUS
ABOUT SEEING KIM
AT VILLA BLANCA,
BECAUSE SHE STILL
KINDA BLAMES ME
FOR ALL OF HER PROBLEMS.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
- THEY'RE HER RESPONSIBILITY,
AND I'M NOT GONNA
BE A SCAPEGOAT FOR HER.
- ACTUALLY, WE BONDED WHEN...
- WE MADE OUT.
- OH.
WE DIDN'T MAKE OUT.
SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT,
WHICH GET HER IN TROUBLE.
- WE DID.
- SERIOUSLY?
- PORTIA CALLED YOU
TEN TIMES YESTERDAY,
TRYING TO REACH YOU. - I SAW.
I DID SEE TWO MISSED CALLS.
I CALLED YOU BACK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
SHE KEPT CALLING, CALLING.
AND THEN SHE GOES,
"UGH. ANNOYING."
- [chuckles]
- I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
NO, 'CAUSE 1:00 SATURDAY
IS HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
AND I WANNA GIVE YOU GUYS
A HEADS-UP.
AND I KNOW BOTH OF YOU AREN'T
GONNA LIKE THIS, PROBABLY.
INITIALLY,
I DID NOT INVITE BRANDI,
JUST BECAUSE YOU GUYS
HAVE YOUR ISSUES WITH HER.
AND I DON'T WANT, OBVIOUSLY,
ANY PROBLEMS AT PORTIA'S PARTY.
BUT WHEN WE CALLED LISA
TO INVITE HER,
I GAVE HER ALL THE INFORMATION
ON THE PHONE.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN BRANDI GOES,
"HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI."
AND I REALLY FELT
PUT ON THE SPOT.
AND SINCE SHE HAS
LITTLE KIDS, I SAID,
"LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH YOUR BOYS
AND WHATEVER?"
BRANDI AND I MADE UP
A LONG TIME AGO.
I STILL HEAR LITTLE WHISPERINGS
OF THINGS SHE SAYS ABOUT ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ACTUALLY DO ENJOY
SEEING HER FACE...
BOTH OF THEM.
- IT'S NOT MY PARTY.
- WELL, OBVIOUSLY
WE DON'T WANT PROBLEMS
AT PORTIA'S PARTY, SO...
- WELL, I MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO COME ANYWAY.
Both: WHY?
- BECAUSE ALL MY KIDS
AREN'T TOGETHER ALL THE TIME,
AND SO WE'RE ALL PLANNING ON
SPENDING THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.
SO UNLESS MY KIDS...
- TWO HOURS WITH YOU
AND YOUR KIDS
TO BE WITH YOUR NIECE
AND THEIR COUSINS.
- IF I CAN GET AWAY,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA
LEAVE ALL MY KIDS...
- I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE THEM.
I WANT THEM THERE.
IT'S THEIR COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY.
- THEY MAY NOT WANNA COME.
- HAVE YOU MET BRANDI?
- HI. YES.
- OH, YEAH,
WE'VE ALREADY SAID HELLO.
HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO.
- I'M GONNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA.
I'LL BE BACK. - OKAY.
- I LIKE YOLANDA.
SHE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL AURA
ABOUT HER.
- I DON'T... I GET IT. I GET IT.
- I'M SORRY.
- NO. GOSH, NO. IT'S FINE.
IT'S LIKE,
BABY STEPS, BABY STEPS.
- LIKE, INFANTILE STEPS.
- LIKE, I'VE JUST GOTTA...
JUST SWALLOW ME UP NOW.
THIS INCIDENT SPEAKS VOLUMES
ABOUT MY FUTURE WITH KIM,
BECAUSE
CLEARLY SHE STILL BLAMES ME
FOR ALL OF HER
DRUG AND ALCOHOL ISSUES.
- CALL IT A DAY.
- OH, KIM WENT TO GO
LOOK FOR YOLANDA THAT WAY.
SHE'S GONNA BE
COMING AROUND THIS WAY.
- MY SISTER KIM'S
ON THE HUNT FOR YOU, YOLANDA.
- WHERE IS SHE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S LIKE,
"I WANNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA."
- WE HAD... WE HAD SOME GOOD
BONDING TIME.
- YOU DID?
- YEAH.
- WHAT SIGN ARE YOU?
- CAPRICORN.
- OH, MY GOD!
ANOTHER CAPRICORN!
Both: FINALLY!
YES! THESE WOMEN ARE ALL VIRGOS.
- NOT US, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE
ARE VIRGOS.
- AND WHAT ARE YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT BRANDI IS...
A GEMINI. - GEMINI. YOU?
- CAPRICORN.
- OH, LIKE ME? GOOD.
- WHAT DAY?
- YOU GO, GIRL.
JANUARY 11TH. - ME...
- OH, NO WAY!
- YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
- NO, YOU'RE KIDDING.
- WE'RE THE SAME DAY?
- NO WAY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I JUST WENT LOOKING FOR YOU.
- YOU KNOW WHAT
I JUST FOUND OUT? - WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHY I JUST
ADORE YOU RIGHT AWAY?
- YOU'RE A VIRGO?
- NO.
I'M A CAPRICORN, BORN
THE SAME DAY AS YOUR SISTER.
- OH, YAY.
NO, I'M JUST JOKING. [laughter]
I DIDN'T...
- SHE'S SUCH A TREAT SOMETIMES.
- WHY, IS THAT NOT GOOD?
- NO, IT IS GOOD.
- WE WERE THE ONLY ONES.
YOU'RE CAPRICORN.
BRANDI'S A SCORPIO.
SSS! - OOH.
THAT'S WHY SHE SAID I SLEPT
WITH EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN.
I WAS LIKE... - SHE DID THAT?
- YEAH, BECAUSE I GUESS
SCORPIO THEY SAY
IS THE MOST SEXUAL
SIGN OF THE ZODIAC, RIGHT?
- SHE SAID THAT I SLEPT WITH
EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN?
- WELL, SHE SAID THAT
THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL.
- THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
NO, NO, NO!
I TAKE THAT BACK.
NOT THAT SHE DID THAT,
THAT SHE WOULD SAY THAT.
[laughs]
LET ME CLARIFY THAT.
I JUST MEANT THAT
IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME
SHE WOULD SAY THAT,
NOT THAT SHE DID THAT.
- NO, NO, NO, I MEAN,
WHICH IS FINE.
BUT SHE SAID THE TOWN
IS SO SMALL
THAT YOU KNOW EVERYBODY,
YOU KNOW?
SHE'S PROBABLY JOKING.
I MEAN, WHATEVER.
[laughter]
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HER.
- THE TOWN IS SO SMALL IT'S HARD
NOT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
WELL, I MEAN, NOT FOR ME, LIKE...
- OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
- EVEN IF SHE HAS SLEPT WITH
ALL OF BEVERLY HILLS...
AND LISTEN, I DON'T DOUBT IT...
I DON'T KNOW THAT SHE NEEDS
TO BE ANNOUNCING IT
AT A VILLA BLANCA
ANNIVERSARY PARTY
TO SOMEONE SHE JUST MET.
[indistinct chatter]
- OH, PERFECT.
- THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
- I DON'T WANNA INTERRUPT YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE A FLOWER DELIVERY.
- OH, I DO?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- FROM WHO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY WANNA TELL, SO...
- OOH, A SECRET ADMIRER.
- I WISH.
- THEY'RE STUNNING.
I WANNA SHOW YOU. - REALLY?
- I HAVE NO IDEA
WHO THEY'RE FROM.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- ISN'T THAT GORGEOUS?
- I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'RE FROM.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- WHO'S IT FROM?
- ADRIENNE MALOOF...
SENT THESE TO YOU
WITH LOTS OF BEST WISHES.
- THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET.
- LET'S FIND OUT WHY...
- A PERSONAL CARD?
- CAN I SEE IT?
- NO, A PERSONAL CARD.
WHAT PART OF PERSONAL
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
- SHE'S GONNA SAY, "I CAN'T
MAKE IT TONIGHT BECAUSE..."
- "BECAUSE I WASN'T INVITED."
I THINK IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE AN OLIVE BRANCH,
BUT IT LOOKED LIKE THE WHOLE
DAMN TREE CAME IN THE ROOM.
- YOU FORGOT TO INVITE HER?
- NO, I DIDN'T.
WE ARE NOT IN A GREAT SPACE,
TO BE HONEST.
THE LAST FEW MONTHS,
I'LL TELL YOU.
IT'S NOT...
- WOW, YOU GIRLS
HAVE A LOT OF DRAMA.
- IT'S KIND OF STRANGE
FOR SOMEBODY TO SEND FLOWERS
TO AN EVENT
THEY'RE NOT INVITED TO.
- COMING UP...
- YOU WERE SAYING
YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING
I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
- OH, WELL TELL HER I SAID HI.
[indistinct chatter]
- WELL, IT'S THE BIGGEST
FLOWER ARRANGEMENT
I'VE NEVER RECEIVED.
- ARE YOU SURE IT'S FROM THEM?
- ABSOLUTELY.
- NO WAY.
- IT'S CALCULATING.
IT'S ALL ADRIENNE.
- "ADRIENNE. DEAR KEN AND LISA,
"CONGRATULATIONS
ON THE ANNIVERSARY.
WISHING YOU
A VERY SPECIAL EVENING,
ADRIENNE." - THAT'S A LIE.
THEY DON'T MEAN THAT.
- WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST COME?
- THEY DON'T MEAN THAT.
- THEY WEREN'T INVITED.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS
"LET ME MAKE SURE
EVERYONE KNOWS
WE WEREN'T INVITED,"
OR, "THIS IS REALLY A GESTURE
AND I'M REACHING OUT."
I SAW IT COMING IN AND
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT?"
I THOUGHT IT WAS
A SHAPE OF AN ANIMAL.
- IT'S LIKE A TURKEY.
IT'S LIKE A THANKSGIVING DAY
PARADE FLOAT.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD.
OKAY, HELP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
- WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?
ARE YOU GONNA COME OR NOT?
- I WOULD RATHER SAY TO YOU
THAT THERE IS A POSSIBILITY
I CAN'T BE THERE NOW
THAN TO SAY TO YOU, "OKAY,
I'LL BE THERE," AND NOT SHOW.
- I DON'T GET THE REASON STILL,
BUT THAT'S FINE.
YOU'RE SAYING
YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING
I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
I JUST FEEL LIKE
BETWEEN KIM AND ME,
THERE TENDS TO BE
AN UNDERLYING TENSION.
AND I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE RESENTMENT FROM THINGS
SHE'S DONE IN THE PAST.
- YOU STOLE MY GODDAMN HOUSE!
- [bleep] YOU
FOR TALKING LIKE THAT!
- IT'S NOT M-ME.
I STARTED SEEING HER DEMEANOR.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE
I KNOW HER SO MUCH.
- WELL, IT'S BULL[bleep].
- I'M RIGHT HERE.
- IT'S NOT BULL[bleep].
- IT IS BULL[bleep].
- MM-KAY, WELL...
- WHEN I WAS ANGRY WITH KIM,
WHEN SHE WAS DRINKING,
SHE WAS ANGRY AT ME
AND THE WAY I REACTED TO IT.
BUT NOW THAT SHE'S SOBER,
I KIND OF WONDER, LIKE,
WHY DO I STILL FEEL TENSION?
- WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETIMES
WE'LL JUST NEVER GET BACK
TO THE WAY WE WERE.
[sniffles]
- THIS SEASON ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[exclamations]
- FIND YOUR INNER SEXY!
- AHH.
- LET'S GO.
- OH, MY GOD.
- VROOM, VROOM, SHABANG!
- AAH! [laughter]
- DON'T DO...
I'M GONNA [bleep] KILL YOU.
WE'RE CRAZY.
- OH, MY GOD.
OH, I LOVE THIS.
- DIMITRI.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- THE SECRET MAN
IS OUT AND ABOUT.
- I JUST HAVE NEVER FELT
THIS SEXUAL.
- WE BETTER GIVE
SOME OF THOSE PILLS TO LISA.
- GIVE ME THE WHOLE BAG.
KEN, NO!
WAIT TILL OUR ANNIVERSARY.
KEN!
- [laughs] THIS IS...
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
- WHATEVER I SAID 30 YEARS AGO
STILL STANDS.
I WILL OBEY YOU.
[laughter]
- DARLING?
YOU NEVER REALIZE
HOW IMPORTANT SOMEBODY IS
UNTIL THERE'S JUST A CHANCE
THAT THEY COULD
BE TAKEN FROM YOU.
- HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
HE WAS MY EVERYTHING.
YOU WERE THE OTHER WOMAN.
[crying]
I'LL BE FINE. I'M ALWAYS FINE.
[exhales]
- KIM?
BECAUSE OF MY SISTER'S HISTORY,
I'M TERRIFIED
AS TO WHAT I MAY FIND.
- I WAS GONNA DIE.
- EVERY TIME MY PHONE
RANG IN THE NIGHT
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA SAY,
"YOUR SISTER'S DEAD."
- YOU DON'T SPEAK,
YOU DON'T SING.
- REALLY, WE DON'T WANNA SING.
WE DON'T WANT
TO BE A PART OF IT.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WE'RE NOT MAKING AN ALBUM HERE.
- YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF,
BECAUSE
YOU'RE A REAL [bleep]HOLE.
BUT IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
- THAT'S OUR POINT.
- THAT'S THE POINT, YOLANDA!
- WHO IS ADRIENNE MALOOF
IN THIS WORLD?
- UGH.
- SHE'S NOBODY.
- WE JUST HEARD COMMENTS
THAT THAT BITCH MADE,
SO I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.
- WHO?
- YOU JUST CALLED ME A BITCH.
- YOU ARE A BITCH.
- [bleep] YOU.
- YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].
- WELL, SCREW YOU.
- PIECE OF [bleep].
- YOU THINK I GET BRANDI
TO SPEAK ON MY BEHALF?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I THINK THAT YOU
GET HER WORKED UP.
- CAMILLE IS BEING A TOTAL BITCH
TRYING TO HUMILIATE ME.
- WHO GIVES A [bleep]
ABOUT SETTLING SCORES?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
SOMEBODY'S LIFE HERE.
- YOU NEVER LISTEN.
- HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
LIES AND PETTY GOSSIP
AND BULL[bleep], KEN.
- FRIENDS DO NOT SUE FRIENDS.
WE COULD'VE
TAKEN UMBRAGE AGAINST
BERNIE AND YOU
FOR WHAT YOU SAID.
- LET ME FINISH MY STATEMENT.
- OH, YOU FINISH
YOUR BULL[bleep],
AND THEN WE'LL TALK.
- MY BULL[bleep]?
- YOU'RE NOT SUING ME?
- NO. THERE WAS NO LAWSUIT.
- ADRIENNE, YOU'RE FULL
OF [bleep] [bleep].
- ADRIENNE, DO YOU SMELL SMOKE?
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
[coughs] - I'M LEAVING.
I'M TAKING THE KIDS.
- WE GOTTA GO IN.
- LET'S JUST GO.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT.
- JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
- MOVE!
PAUL DOESN'T GET IN THE CAR
WITH THE KIDS AND I.
BAD CHOICE.
- PAUL AND ADRIENNE SEPARATED.
- [crying]
- ADRIENNE.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT
THE HOUSEWIVES,