The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Opposite of Relaxation - full transcript
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- NO, JAKEY! JAKEY!
[laughs]
AT LEAST IT'S NOT IN THE POOL.
- HER SON PEES ON THE GRASS,
AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN
CORRECT HIM.
- REAL REASON I'M HERE
IS TO COME AND ASK PERMISSION
TO MARRY PANDORA.
- OKAY, THEN.
- YOUR SISTER IS... IS WASTED
OUT OF HER [bleep] MIND.
LEAST I DON'T DO CRYSTAL METH
IN THE BATHROOM
ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.
[both yell indistinct]
- WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.
- DON'T YOU [bleep] THREATEN ME.
- LISTEN, LISTEN, NO. NO, NO!
STOP IT! STOP!
- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,
AND I MAKE THE RULES.
- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,
BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.
- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,
BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.
- I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,
AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO WORK FOR IT.
- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
FREEDOM IS.
- [sighs] ADRIENNE?
- YES?
- SO YOU READY
FOR YOUR COOKING LESSON?
- OH, PLEASE.
- WHAT?
THIS IS, LIKE, GONNA BE
A WAR ZONE HERE, OKAY?
- [laughs]
- BE EASY ON ME.
- COME ON.
- BE GENTLE.
- I WILL.
- LISA HAS ALWAYS
GIVEN ME A HARD TIME
ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO COOK.
THE LAST TIME I DID A CHICKEN,
IT WAS FROZEN ON BOTH SIDES
AND RAW IN THE MIDDLE.
THE ONLY WAY TO SHUT HER UP IS,
"OKAY, SHOW ME
HOW TO COOK, LISA."
- OKAY, WHERE'S THE FRIDGE?
FIRST THING.
- GEE, I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.
- OKAY, GOOD.
- OKAY?
- THAT'S A GOOD START.
- SO, IN FACT,
I'VE GOT THREE OF 'EM.
I CAN COUNT.
- I'VE SOLD THOUSANDS
OF CHICKEN DISHES
IN MY RESTAURANT,
SO I THINK
I'M PERFECTLY QUALIFIED
TO TEACH ADRIENNE
HOW TO COOK A CHICKEN.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.
- IT'S RIGHT HERE. NOW WHAT?
- OKAY,
WE'VE GOT TO OPEN HIM FIRST.
- WHAT DO YOU NEED?
A CUTTING BOARD...
- A CUTTING BOARD AND A KNIFE?
- I HAVE NO IDEA...
- WELL,
WHERE'S THE CHOPPING BOARD?
- OH, WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
OH. NO, THAT WOULDN'T BE IT.
DO YOU REALLY NEED A CHOP...
OH, HERE.
SEE?
OKAY. SO WHAT DO YOU... THIS...
- OKAY, OPEN HIM.
- OKAY. OPEN HIM.
LET ME PUT SOME GLOVES ON,
BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN SICK.
I GOT SALMONELLA POISONING,
SO I'M SCARED TO DEATH.
- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I'VE NEVER HAD THAT.
- I WANT TO PUT GLOVES ON,
'CAUSE...
- WELL, OF COURSE.
JUST PUT IT ON.
- OKAY.
- NOW, RIGHT...
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY, PICK IT UP. NOW REACH...
REACH INSIDE HIS BOTTOM.
NOW, DON'T BE COY.
- REACH...
- JUST...
- THIS IS DISGUSTING.
GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- OH, PLEASE, COME ON.
[laughter]
- WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH THIS STUFF?
- PUT IT IN YOUR HANDBAG.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
- I'LL PUT IT IN MY HANDBAG.
- GONNA TAKE HIM, WE'RE GONNA
WASH HIM FIRST, OKAY?
- OH, WASH HIM FIRST.
- HUH?
- DOES HE HAVE A NAME?
- YEAH.
HE DID ONCE, I'M SURE.
WE'LL JUST REFER TO HIM
AS "CHICKEN."
OKAY.
OKAY, WE DON'T NEED ANY SOAP.
DID YOU JUST PUT SOAP ON HIM?
- YEAH.
- YOU DIDN'T.
- WELL, OF COURSE.
- YOU PUT SOAP ON HIM?
- I WANT TO WASH IT.
- ON THE CHICKEN?
- LET ME TELL YOU WHY.
IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN SICK...
- YOU DON'T PUT SOAP ON IT.
- HAVE YOU EVER
HAD SALMONELLA POISONING?
YOU'D DO THE SAME THING.
- YOU'RE GONNA GET SICK
PUTTING SOAP ON HIM.
- NO, BUT JUST RINSE IT.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT
PUT SOAP ON IT?
- OH, MY GOD.
- HOW ELSE DO YOU GET
A CHICKEN CLEAN?
- NOT LIKE THAT.
- OKAY.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
PUT HIM IN THE DISHWASHER?
LET'S TAKE IT OFF
AND PAT HIM DRY, OKAY?
- AND PAT HIM DRY? OKAY.
- AND WE'RE GONNA CUT
SOME LEMON AND ONIONS.
I HAD NO IDEA
IT WOULD BE THIS STRESSFUL.
WHERE ARE YOUR ONIONS?
- THEY'RE PROBABLY
IN THE REFRIGERATOR, RIGHT?
- WELL, ONE WOULD HOPE SO,
BUT 'ROUND HERE, WHO KNOWS?
- UM, WHERE IN THE HECK...
OH, HERE IT IS.
OKAY.
HERE, I'LL LET YOU CUT THOSE.
- OKAY, NO, YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
OH, GOODNESS.
I HOPE THAT SHE KNOWS
HER WAY AROUND THE BEDROOM
BETTER THAN SHE DOES
AROUND THE KITCHEN,
FOR PAUL'S SAKE.
OKAY, LET'S PUT SOME HERBS
IN HIM AS WELL, OKAY?
SALT AND PEPPER?
HAVE YOU GOT
SALT AND PEPPER IN HERE?
- UH, BERNIE,
WHERE'S THE SALT AND PEPPER?
- OH. THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- OKAY, GIRL.
PUT THIS... STUFF IT ALL IN HIM.
- TO ME, I THINK YOU EITHER
REALLY LOVE COOKING,
OR IT JUST DOESN'T INTEREST YOU.
OH, MY GOD, THIS IS BORING.
OKAY, GO AHEAD.
I CAN'T STAND TO COOK.
- SO YOU STUCK
EVERYTHING UP HIS BOTTOM?
- YES.
- OKAY, GO...
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
- AND IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT,
SOMETHING WILL BE STUCK UP
YOUR BOTTOM
IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT.
- NO SUCH LUCK FOR ME.
I HAVE TO GO
ACROSS THE ROAD FOR THAT.
- YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- OKAY, NOW WE'RE GONNA
PUT HIM IN HERE.
DON'T HOLD HIM LIKE THAT.
PUT HIM IN THE OVEN
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.
- OKAY.
- AND THEN
WHEN YOU TAKE HIM OUT,
YOU LEAVE HIM TO STAND
FOR, LIKE, 15, 20 MINUTES
BEFORE YOU CUT HIM.
- LEAVE HIM TO STAND.
- LEAVE HIM...
YOU DON'T CARVE HIM.
- DO I STAND HIM UP?
- YOU DANCE WITH HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THERE, CATEGORICALLY,
IS NO HOPE FOR
ADRIENNE MALOOF IN THE KITCHEN.
I JUST STUCK IT IN THE OVEN,
AND I HIGH-TAILED IT
OUT OF THERE.
- HERE'S TO...
- HERE'S TO TAKE-OUT.
- HERE'S TO... YES. THANK YOU.
- TAYLOR, DO YOU HAVE PAPER?
- YEAH.
- WE CAN DO, JUST,
LIKE, SOME PAPER,
SO THEY CAN DO THEIR LITTLE...
- FINGER PAINTING?
- YEAH.
- PUT SOME NEWSPAPER DOWN.
- NO, THEY CAN JUST...
ON THE TABLE.
BUT WHERE'S
THE FINGER-PAINTING PAPER?
OH, PERFECT.
- TAYLOR'S, DANA'S,
AND MY CHILDREN
ARE ALL AROUND THE SAME AGE,
SO IT'S NICE
THEY CAN PLAY TOGETHER.
CAMILLE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE
DOLL AT THE CHARITY EVENT.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BARBIE.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID TOO.
- SHE'S BUILT LIKE A BARBIE.
AND THE LITTLE DRESS,
SHE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE.
- DID BRANDI APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- WE DIDN'T SPEAK.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I MEAN, I REALLY
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN... - I KNOW.
- I THINK THAT,
YOU KNOW, HER, UH...
MAKING THOSE ACCUSATIONS
AGAINST MY SISTER
WHEN THEY'VE NEVER
MET BEFORE IS... WAS JUST...
SO UNBELIEVABLE TO ME.
- CRYSTAL METH.
- I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU
COME UP WITH THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS WEIRD.
- IT WAS SUPER WEIRD.
- IT WAS REALLY WEIRD.
- I MEAN, IT WAS
REALLY LEFT FIELD.
- WHO THINKS OF THAT?
[overlapping comments]
- SHE SAID,
"I WANT TO KILL YOU."
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT
FOR ONE MINUTE?
- OH, SHE SAID THAT?
- OKAY, HOLD ON.
LET'S JUST TALK
ABOUT THAT FOR ONE MINUTE.
- SHE DID SAY
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU."
- "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
WHERE DO YOU COME FROM...
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
WHO SAYS, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
- OH, GOSH.
AND I COULD TELL
THAT SHE FELT REALLY BAD
ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
SHE SAID SHE FELT VERY ISOLATED,
LIKE SHE WAS ALONE,
AND THAT WE WEREN'T GIVING...
INCLUDING HER IN THE GROUP.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER...
THE PART THAT I THOUGHT
WAS SO WEIRD
THAT I ASKED HER ABOUT
WAS I SAID,
"WHY DO YOU CALL YOURSELF
NEGATIVE NAMES?" I...
- LIKE SAYING, "I'M A SLUT."
- AND, "I'M TRAILER TRASH."
- LIKE, WHY WOULD SHE
SAY STUFF LIKE THAT?
- AND SHE SAID I JUST LIKE TO
SAY IT BEFORE OTHER PEOPLE DO.
BECAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS
ATTACK ME...
AND, YOU KNOW, SHE JUST SAID
THAT HER HUSBAND
HAS BEEN ATTACKING
HER PARENTING A LOT,
AND SO THE PARENTING THING
GOT HER ALL REVVED UP,
BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY
INSECURE ABOUT HIM
MAYBE COMING AFTER THE KIDS,
NOW THAT HE'S GOT THIS NEW,
STABLE HOME LIFE,
AND SHE'S A SINGLE MOM.
- WHEN TAYLOR TOLD ME WHAT
BRANDI'S BEEN GOING THROUGH,
IT KIND OF GAVE ME
A LITTLE MORE INSIGHT
AS TO WHO SHE IS
AND WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH
IN HER PERSONAL LIFE,
BUT YOU DO NOT SAY ANYTHING
AGAINST MY SISTER.
I DON'T EVEN CARE.
I DON'T NEED
AN APOLOGY FROM HER.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.
- THERE YOU GO.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.
- OH, FEELING GOOD, LITTLE MAN?
- HELLO, GALIF. HOW ARE YOU?
ANYTHING GOOD?
WHERE'S HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS?
- HI, LISA.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- FEELING WELL?
- GIGGY'S NOT FEELING SO GOOD.
- GIVE HIM SOME YOGURT.
I THINK IT WILL CURE ALL.
- MOHAMED, YOU'RE NOT A VET.
- MAYBE I'M NOT A VET IN...
IN A CERTIFICATION,
BUT I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A DOG.
I HAD DOGS ONCE BEFORE.
- YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?
THEY DIED, RIGHT? SO...
- HOW ABOUT SOME... A CUP OF TEA?
- OH, I'D LOVE SOME TEA.
HOUSE IS LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.
- SOME TEA, PLEASE.
- SO WHAT'S GOING ON?
- JULIA AND I DECIDED
TO DO A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR MY GODDAUGHTER PANDORA,
WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS YOUR GODDAUGHTER.
YOU'VE GOT TO PUT HER
IN YOUR WILL, THEN.
LET'S BE HONEST.
- SHE IS IN THE WILL ALREADY.
- SHE IS?
- YEAH.
- OKAY,
BE CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS.
[laughter]
HE ACTUALLY THINKS OF PANDORA
LIKE HIS GODDAUGHTER.
IT'S IRONIC, BECAUSE
SHE'S ACTUALLY THE SAME AGE
AS HIS GIRLFRIEND.
SO THEY KIND OF PLAY TOGETHER.
- GONNA HAVE DANCING GOING ON
AND GREAT FOOD AND GREAT MUSIC.
- WHAT KIND...
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
- ARABIAN NIGHT. ARABIAN THEME.
- OH, YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN.
- BELLY DANCERS.
- OH, REALLY?
- "BALI" DANCERS OR "BELLY"?
- BELLY. OR BELLY AND FROM BALI.
[laughter] - OKAY.
- SHOULD WE HAVE
A CAMEL OUTSIDE?
- OH.
- YEAH.
- YEAH?
SET THE WHOLE THING UP
IN THE MOROCCO ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.
- LET'S GO HAVE A LOOK AT IT.
- WANT TO SEE? LET'S GO.
- MOHAMMED'S HOUSE
IS ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE.
IT'S, LIKE, 60,000 SQUARE FOOT.
IT'S LIKE NOTHING
I'VE EVER SEEN, CERTAINLY.
- HERE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE PEOPLE SIT AROUND,
AROUND HERE.
SO THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING,
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE THEM...
AFTER PARTY HERE.
BOTH HERE.
THE EAT AND DRINK, MUSIC.
- THAT'S NAUGHTY ROOM IN THERE,
ISN'T IT?
- THAT'S A NAUGHTY ROOM.
YES, THAT'S... THAT HAS BEEN
A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY AREA.
- [laughs] OKAY.
- THIS IS A SECRET ROOM
THAT THEY...
- THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS,
MOHAMMED.
I MEAN, YOUR ROYAL NAUGHTINESS.
WHAT ON EARTH WENT ON HERE,
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
- IF SOMEBODY IS TIRED,
THEY WANT TO COME
AND HANG OUT AND RELAX,
WE HAVE A... A KIND OF, UH...
WE CALL IT A COMMUNE BED.
- MOHAMMED.
- WHAT?
- STOP.
- YOU NEVER KNOW.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET TIRED.
- NO, NO, I DO KNOW. IT'S NOT...
NONE OF THAT'S GOING ON HERE.
BUT IT IS AMAZING.
I'VE FORGOTTEN
HOW AMAZING YOU ARE.
- BUT IT'S HERE...
- IF YOU NEED IT.
- IN CASE. IF YOU NEED IT, YES.
- THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S
GONNA BE DOING THAT IS YOU.
OKAY. OH, GOD.
YOU SHOULD BE GIVING THAT UP
AT YOUR AGE, ANYWAY.
STOP IT.
- HA HA HA.
- I'M GETTING... YOU KNOW,
I'M PRACTICING FOR MY WEDDING.
- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
IF THE WALLS HAD EARS,
OH, GOOD LORD.
I'D HAVE TO PUT
MY FINGER IN MINE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT,
MOHAMMED.
GIVE IT UP.
- GIVE IT UP?
- YEAH, GIVE IT UP.
- I JUST STARTED.
- [laughs]
- COMING UP...
- KIM, STOP THIS
CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
WE HAVE TO GO.
- BOUNCE, BOUNCE,
BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE.
[laughs]
- I REALLY WANT TO HAVE
THE GIRLS ENJOY THEMSELVES
FOR THE DAY,
SO I DECIDED,
"WHY NOT HAVE A SPA DAY?"
I BUILT A FULL SPA AT MY HOUSE,
SO WHY GO ANYWHERE ELSE?
I BOUGHT EVERYTHING.
SPRAY-TANNING BOOTH...
LASER MACHINE.
HYDRO FACIAL.
I HAVE TWO MANICURISTS.
HOW'S EVERYTHING? OKAY?
ARE YOU SET UP?
- YES, WE'RE READY.
- WONDERFUL.
- TO DO GEL OR MANNIES.
- OH, GOOD.
- THREE MASSEUSES.
TWO AESTHETICIANS.
HOW'S EVERYTHING?
- JUST GETTING SET UP.
- OKAY, GOOD.
- DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OKAY OVER HERE?
- IF YOU NEED EXTRA TOWELS...
- MM-HMM.
- UH, WE'VE GOT LOADS OF TOWELS.
- OKAY.
- SO WHATEVER YOU NEED.
- OKAY.
- THREE WAITERS.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVING
ON A TRAY... CHAMPAGNE.
SO MAYBE YOU COULD GET
A TRAY FROM HIM.
- SURE. AND GET STARTED?
- AND HE CAN START AT THE DOOR
WHEN THE WOMEN WALK IN...
- AS SOON AS THEY WALK IN.
- JUST GIVE 'EM
A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.
- EXCELLENT. OKAY.
- AND OF COURSE
MY WONDERFUL CHEF BERNIE
AND HIS AMAZING DESSERTS.
OKAY, KIDS. HI.
- HI.
- LOOKING GOOD.
LOOKING REALLY GOOD.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- THIS IS FANTASTIC.
WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS RED VELVET CAKE.
- I LOVE THE GLITTER.
- UM, THIS IS... THIS IS MY,
ACTUALLY, MY NEW ADDITION
TO MY MANY TOYS.
LET ME GET IT OUT. SEE?
AND I'M GONNA SERVE 'EM
LIKE THIS ON THE TRAY.
- OH, GREAT.
- WE'LL HAVE A ROW OF 'EM,
SO I'LL TAKE IT OUT ON,
LIKE, A PLATTER.
- AND WHILE THE GIRLS
ARE BEING PAMPERED
WE'LL BE SERVING CHAMPAGNE,
CUCUMBER WATER,
FINGER FOODS, GOURMET CHEESE,
AND FROZEN YOGURT
WITH 15 DIFFERENT TOPPINGS.
- THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE
THE TOPPING FOR THE YOGURT,
SO THESE ARE ACTUALLY CREPES.
- THIS LOOKS GREAT.
- OKAY.
- THANK YOU.
- HELLO.
HELLO?
- WHO IS THAT?
- HELLO!
OH, I'M SO EXCITED AT YOUR FOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU.
- HI, MY DEAR.
- LOOK AT YOU. HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
I WASN'T AT GAME NIGHT,
BUT I DID HEAR ABOUT KIM
AND KYLE AND BRANDI'S ARGUMENT.
MAYBE IF I HAD BEEN THERE
IT WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN
SO OUT OF HAND.
- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.
- OH, REALLY? IS THAT A THREAT?
- PLEASE. PLEASE.
- YEAH. YEAH.
- I KNOW SHE'S VERY OUTSPOKEN,
BUT SHE'S A REALLY GOOD PERSON,
AND I'M HOPING KYLE AND KIM
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.
WHAT'S NEW?
- WHAT'S UP WITH
THE CHIPPENDALES WAITERS?
- [laughs]
NOT BAD LOOKING, RIGHT?
HE'S CUTE, RIGHT? REALLY CUTE.
WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS EDIBLE...
- CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
- GOLD DUST.
- I KNEW YOU WERE
GONNA SAY THAT. ONLY...
- ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS
WOULD YOU...
ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS, RIGHT?
- CAN I TRY IT? I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT GOLD TASTES LIKE.
- YEAH. GO FOR IT.
- I'M GONNA NIBBLE
ON MY JEWELRY LATER.
- WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
- CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS GOLD.
I'M EATING GOLD.
DO YOU HAVE ANY DIAMONDS?
- [laughs]
- WHERE WERE THE DIAMONDS?
SO CHEAP.
- JUST GO TO THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS,
AND THERE'S A VERY HANDSOME
YOUNG GENTLEMAN
WAITING TO HELP OUT.
- PUT A ROBE ON ME?
- YES.
- DE-ROBE ME?
- DON'T WORRY.
- HI. SORRY.
I JUST WALKED RIGHT IN.
- THAT'S OKAY. YEAH.
NO WORRIES.
MY HOME IS YOUR HOME.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
REALLY? PROMISE?
- YEAH. YEAH. EXACTLY.
- HI, HONEY. HOW ARE YOU?
I LIKE YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT.
- DO YOU REALLY?
- UH-HUH, I DO.
- I WAS TRYING SOMETHING
DIFFERENT TODAY.
- HI, BABY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU'RE AWFULLY DRESSED UP
FOR SPA DAY.
- I KNOW.
- IT'S JUST JEANS.
- HELLO.
- HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?
- HELLO? OH, HELLO.
- WAI... OOH.
- THAT LOOKS VERY NICE.
- HI. HELL-O.
- TIME TO CHANGE.
- WHICH SHOEBOX DO I GET?
- UM, THE ONE WITH
YOUR NAME ON IT.
[laughs]
- NO, I WANT TO SEE WHAT
WE'RE GONNA BE WEARING TODAY.
- OH, OKAY.
- OH, CUTE.
LITTLE FLORAL FLIP FLOPS.
- LET ME SEE.
- YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ADRIENNE
WOULD NEVER GET US FLAT SHOES.
THERE HAS TO BE A HEEL.
- HEEL FLIP FLOPS.
- SURE.
THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- EVERYBODY'S RIGHT UPSTAIRS.
- UPSTAIRS. OKAY.
GETTING DRESSED?
- YES.
- INTO WHAT?
- INTO YOUR SPA OUTFITS.
- SPA OUTFIT. OKAY.
LET'S GO.
- DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING?
- WELL, YEAH.
- YES.
- WHAT'S ON... [laughter]
- WHAT'S ON THE MENU?
- SOMEBODY THAT WANTS
TO TRY THIS,
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
IT EXFOLIATES, AND THEN IT PUTS
VITAMINS BACK IN YOUR SKIN.
AND I PROMISE YOU,
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.
YOU WANT TO DO IT?
- I NEED TO DO THAT,
'CAUSE MY SKIN IS VERY DRY.
- SO, AUBREY, YOU WANT
TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT THIS IS?
- IS IT GONNA STRIP OFF MY TAN?
- IT'S... NOT REALLY.
- YOU'RE GONNA BE...
- 'CAUSE WHAT IF THE...
HALF THE TAN COMES OFF,
AND I WALK AROUND
LOOKING LIKE I'M...
- IT DOESN'T.
I PROMISE YOU, YOU'RE GONNA...
- IT'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A,
YOU KNOW...
- HELLO.
OOH.
ADRIENNE?
- ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING
THAT YOU KNOW OF,
LIKE, TOPICALLY, OR...?
- WHAT... WHAT IS IT
GONNA DO TO ME?
- IT'S GOING
TO LIGHTLY EXFOLIATE.
- IS IT SAFE AND NO NEEDLES?
- NO, NO NEEDLES.
- FEELS VERY GOOD.
DOESN'T HURT OR ANYTHING.
AND THEN...
- THAT LOOKS, LIKE... SCARY.
- OKAY. I'M GONNA
START ON YOUR FOREHEAD,
AND YOU JUST LET ME KNOW
IF IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE,
WHICH IT SHOULDN'T BE.
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OW. JUST KIDDING.
[laughs] I'M KIDDING.
- HELLO.
HOW COME YOU'RE SO LATE?
WE THOUGHT WE WERE LATE,
AND THEN YOU'RE EVEN LATER.
HELLO, DARLING.
- I BEEN... BUSY DOING THINGS.
HI.
I DIDN'T THINK I WAS LATE.
SOMEBODY MUST HAVE GIVEN ME
THE WRONG TIME.
- I DON'T KNOW. BUT I...
SO THIS IS ADRIENNE'S MACHINE
SHE HAS AT HOME?
- YEAH, IT'S HER MACHINE.
- HOW MUCH
IS A MACHINE LIKE THIS?
- A MACHINE LIKE THIS? 30,000.
- CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THAT MUCH.
- IT CAN DEFINITELY
CHANGE THE SKIN.
- COULD JUST GET A WHOLE NEW
FACE FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY.
ADRIENNE IS ONE LUCKY WOMAN.
I REALLY WISH I LIVED THERE.
- THE REST OF THE GIRLS
ARE HERE.
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
- HI.
- HI.
- KYLE,
YOUR SISTER'S FINALLY HERE.
KYLE KEEPS GOING,
"IS KIM HERE? IS KIM HERE?"
- WHERE IS SHE?
- SHE'S GETTING,
LIKE, A TREATMENT.
- I JUST HAD A FACIAL.
- DID YOU?
- WELL, NOT A FACIAL.
A HYDRATING...
THIS... FOR THIS MACHINE.
YOU HAVE TO DO THAT.
LOOK, I JUST DID IT.
FEELS SUPER SOFT.
- MM.
- PRETTY.
I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT KIM
SHOWED UP AT ADRIENNE'S,
BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN SHE'S GONNA SHOW UP.
ISN'T THIS PRETTY?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- OH, MY GOD.
- LOOK AT THE TREES.
- SHOULD WE GO ON
THE TRAMPOLINE? RIGHT NOW?
- WANT TO GO DO IT?
- SHOULD WE?
- THE ONLY PROBLEM...
- YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
WE LOVE TRAMPOLINES.
[laughs]
DO YOU HAVE A PEDICURE?
- SO MUCH FUN.
- OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA...
AFTER FOUR KIDS, IT'S NOT FUN
TO GO ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
- YES, IT IS. WATCH THIS.
OH!
DON'T... KIM,
I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS.
LITERALLY.
WE WERE HAVING A LOT OF FUN.
JUST REMINDING ME
OF WHEN WE WERE LITTLE,
AND JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE...
EXCEPT IT WAS BEFORE
I HAD FOUR KIDS,
AND MY BLADDER
WAS STRONGER THEN.
[laughs]
OW!
- FOR ME, I'M... I'M ALWAYS
JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
I LOVE IT.
BUT KYLE FELT, LIKE,
KIND OF SILLY,
AND LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO.
- KIM, STOP
THIS CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
WE HAVE TO GO.
- [sighs] YEAH.
BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE,
BOUNCE, BOUNCE.
[laughs]
DO YOU WANT TO GO
ON THE SEE-SAW?
[laughter]
- HI.
- HELLO.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- YOU OKAY?
- YEAH, I GOT IT. THANKS.
WHEN ADRIENNE
INVITED ME TO SPA DAY,
I THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOSH,
I'D RATHER BREAK MY OTHER LEG
THAN GO TO YOUR HOUSE
AND HANG OUT WITH KIM AND KYLE.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- BUT IT WAS REALLY
IMPORTANT FOR ME
TO GO AND SHOW ADRIENNE
THAT, YOU KNOW,
I WASN'T GONNA SKIP SOMETHING
THAT SHE WANTED ME TO GO TO
BECAUSE OF THE OTHER DRAMA.
I'M GONNA BE A GOOD
FRIEND TO HER.
- A RELAXING SPA DAY
AND A DAY WITH BRANDI
IS KIND OF AN OXYMORON.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
[speaking indistinct]
- COMING UP...
- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
WHAT A TRAITOR.
- NO, NO, STOP.
I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.
- OKAY, GIRLS?
GIRLS, THIS MACHINE
IS AMAZING FOR YOUR FACE.
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THIS DOES.
SO THIS IS INFRARED LIGHTING.
IT'S ALL LIGHT THERAPY.
AND THIS WILL HELP
WITH TIGHTENING OF THE SKIN,
ROSACEA, ACNE.
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE
THAT YOU WANT TO IMPROVE ON,
THIS IS THE DEAL.
- I DID A COUPLE SPA TREATMENTS
WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE
TO TALK TO ANYONE ON PURPOSE,
BECAUSE I WAS SCARED.
- BRANDI, YOU OKAY OVER THERE?
WHAT IS IT? LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GOING INTO SURGERY.
- I KNOW. IT'S FINE.
I JUST... THERE'S NOTHING.
I'M JUST WAITING
FOR THE RESULTS.
- DID YOU SEE BRANDI?
- NO. YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDED?
NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY
THAT'S GONNA BE NEGATIVE,
THAT'S GONNA TALK LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T EVEN
WANT TO LOOK AT HER.
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S CUTE.
I DON'T THINK
SHE'S GOT A PRETTY MOUTH.
DIRTY, DIRTY, UGLY MOUTH.
LIKE A SEWER.
NO. IT'S NOT SOMEBODY
I WANT IN MY HOUSE.
NO, THANK YOU.
DON'T EVEN CARE TO SEE, DISCUSS.
- YEAH, BUT SHE'S GONNA BE
IN THE ROOM WITH US.
WE HAVE NO CHOICE.
- I HAVE A CHOICE.
IT'S CALLED SELECTIVE HEARING,
SELECTIVE SEEING.
SELECTIVE ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
[laughter]
- SELECTIVE IGNORING.
- WHATEVER.
- YOU FEED INTO IT,
IT'S LIKE FEEDING...
A PLANT THAT YOU LOVE,
OR FEEDING...
- A PIRANHA.
[laughs]
- WOW. SEE, THIS LOOKS AMAZING.
- CHECK THESE OUT.
THIS IS AMAZING, ADRIENNE.
IT REALLY IS JUST SPECTACULAR.
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME.
- OF COURSE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HELP YOURSELF.
- OKAY, THANK YOU.
- BEFORE MY YOGURT, I'M HUNGRY.
I'LL HAVE SOME CHEESE.
I LIKE TO EAT A LOT.
- [laughs]
- TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT.
[crack] OOPS.
- UH-OH.
- ADRIENNE'S SPA DAY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
I DON'T THINK ANYTHING
LIKE THIS EXISTS.
- THAT'S THE MACHINE?
- YES, ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
- THESE ARE HOT.
[laughter]
HOW CUTE ARE THOSE?
AREN'T THOSE CUTE?
I'M JUST GONNA CLOSE
THIS WHILE I PREP.
- OH, SURE. GO AHEAD.
- THIS IS A GOOD LOOK FOR ME.
[laughter]
- I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE
A SPRAY TAN BOOTH AT MY HOUSE,
BUT THE FACT THAT SHE'S HAD THAT
ACROSS THE ROAD FROM ME
AND JUST FORGOTTEN
TO MENTION IT...
HMM.
- AAH!
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. STOP. STOP.
- AAH!
- AAH!
- SORRY.
- OH, DON'T ACT SHY NOW.
- HOLD ON. [laughter]
THE SPA GUYS ARE COMING IN.
- HE'S GOT A VERY LARGE PENIS!
- WHO?
[laughter]
I SWEAR.
WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO HERE?
- CAMILLE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC,
DARLING.
BEND OVER. BEND OVER.
- I'M GETTING BEAUTIFIED.
- OKAY, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
- OH, BOY.
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M OKAY. I'M JUST...
- YOU'RE... YOU'RE VERY
SERENE TODAY.
I KNOW THIS WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN
KIND OF, LIKE, EASY GOING...
BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LATER,
I MEAN, TALK TO HER, AND...
- RIGHT. NO, I WILL.
I'LL RELAX, AND I'LL... I'LL
DEFINITELY GO TALK TO HER.
I JUST DON'T WANT...
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FEAR
OF REJECTION AS WELL.
YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE
TO BE LIKE,
"NO, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.
- WHEN ALL OF US GET TOGETHER,
AND...
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T WANT...
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MUCH...
- TENSION.
- RIGHT.
- SO...
- I'LL TALK TO HER.
LET ME JUST FINISH THIS UP.
YEAH, YEAH, I WILL.
- I KNOW. I JUST WANTED
TO SEE IF YOU WERE OKAY,
'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SO QUIET.
- I KNOW. THANK YOU, BABE.
- ALL RIGHT, HON.
- I CAN'T EMOTIONALLY HANDLE
ALL OF THE THINGS
THAT ARE GOING ON IN MY LIFE
PLUS KIM AND KYLE.
- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, CAMILLE?
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU NOW?
- OH, LET'S SEE.
WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?
I'M BRINGING ON A THERAPIST.
BRINGING A... A NEW THERAPIST
TO WORK SOLELY WITH MY CHILDREN.
- IS IT THAT BAD NOW?
- NOT SOMEBODY THAT'S
THROUGH THE COURT SYSTEM
OR HIRED THROUGH
MY EX'S ATTORNEY.
- YEAH, BECAUSE
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BIASED.
- YES.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY BIASED.
I'M BRINGING SOMEBODY
THAT'S SOLELY GONNA WORK
FOR MY CHILDREN,
FOR THEIR BE...
YOU KNOW,
FOR THEIR BEST INTERESTS.
IT'S JUST BEEN TOUGH.
- IS HE STILL A MESS?
JUDE, YOU KNOW.
- JUDE'S GOTTEN A LOT BETTER.
- OH, GOOD.
- HE'S DOING
REALLY, REALLY WELL.
- OH, THAT'S GOOD.
BECAUSE HE'S IN ONE PLACE NOW?
- YES.
- BECAUSE HE'S WITH YOU?
- YES. YES, HE'S BACK HOME.
HE'S HAPPY. HE'S ON PLAY DATES.
HE'S HAPPY. HE LOVES HIS SCHOOL.
HE LOVES BEING
AROUND HIS SISTER.
- OH, THANK GOD.
- HE'S ACTIVE, AND HE'S...
- YEAH.
- HE'S A LITTLE BOY.
- RELAX.
- I'M RELAXED
AS I'M GONNA GET AROUND HERE.
- [laughs]
- RIGHT, LISA?
- I'M NOT GONNA
GO BLIND FROM THIS...
[upbeat music]
- [laughs] I'M TICKLISH.
[laughs] OH, YOU BI...
[laughter]
I WAS LIKE,
"WHAT IS THIS WOMAN DOING?"
OH, MY GOD.
OW, MY TOE.
- I HATE TO RUIN YOUR...
HATE TO RUIN YOUR MASSAGE,
BUT, UM, I JUST
TALKED TO BRANDI.
SHE SAID HE MIGHT WANT TO TALK
TO YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.
- RIGHT NOW?
- NO, NOT NOW. LATER.
- THANKS FOR
THE RELAXING MASSAGE.
[laughter]
- I KNOW.
- MY WHOLE BODY
JUST KNOTTED UP LIKE...
TALK TO BRANDI?
COULDN'T YOU'VE HAD ME
DO THAT FIRST,
AND THEN I COULD GET THE MASSAGE
TO WORK THE KNOTS OUT?
[sighs]
AND SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO KIM.
THEN WE CAN TALK.
- YEAH. I THINK
THAT'S THE FIRST STEP.
- OKAY.
- I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS
ON A RELAXING DAY.
- HEY.
- WHERE'S KIM?
- GETTING HER NAILS DONE
RIGHT THERE.
- OH, OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
- OH, GOD.
- THIS IS WHAT I THINK.
NO, NO, NO, COME ON. COME HERE.
IT'S OKAY. COME HERE.
I THINK THE ONLY THING
THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO,
BECAUSE KIM'S KIND OF
AVOIDING YOU,
IS APOLOGIZE FOR JUST SAYING
THE THING ABOUT THE...
THE DRUGS.
- BUT SHE INSULTED ME FIRST,
AND I FEEL LIKE WHY AM I
TAKING ALL THE BLAME
WHEN THEY DID IT TOO?
- NO, NO, NO, I... I KNOW,
BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
IT'S SUCH A HARSH STATEMENT...
- RIGHT.
- ...TO MAKE.
- HAVE YOU TALKED TO BRANDI?
- I TOLD YOU I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF ACKNOWLEDGING.
I'M NOT GONNA FEED A PIRANHA.
- A WHAT?
- A PIRANHA.
- OH.
- YOU GAVE ME THE WORD.
- A PIRANHA.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HONESTLY I DON'T...
YOU KNOW HOW
I DON'T LIKE CONFLICT.
- YEAH.
- AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT I EVEN LET THIS PERSON IN
WITH... TALKS... TALKS FULLY...
DOESN'T... I MEAN, JUST...
JUST GOES
TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE
AND TALKS THIS WAY
AND ACTS THIS WAY.
AND I... DRAG... ACTUALLY DRAG ME...
LIKE, LET MY... - INTO IT. YEAH.
- AND I DON'T GO THERE.
YOU KNOW I DON'T.
- YEAH, YEAH.
NO, I KNOW YOU DON'T.
- SO I'M HONESTLY...
I JUST DECIDED I'M NOT
GONNA EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE.
IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT WORTH
ME GETTING UPSET.
- DO YOU THINK
SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- WELL, IT FIRST STARTED WITH...
DEFINITELY,
SHE WENT AFTER BOTH OF US.
SHE STARTED WITH KYLE, AND I...
- SHE WAS MORE RUDE TO YOU.
I DON'T... SOMEONE WANTS
TO CALL ME A BITCH,
I DON'T CARE, BUT THAT WAS RUDE
WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU.
- MAYBE JUST BE
THE BIGGER PERSON.
SAY, "LISTEN, I'M SORRY
I ACCUSED YOU OF THIS."
- I DON'T THINK ADRIENNE
HAD ALL THE INFORMATION
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,
AND I THINK SHE JUST WAS REALLY
TRYING TO KEEP THE PEACE.
- WELL, I WOULDN'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH WHAT SHE CALLED ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU...
IN... SHOOT IT, SMOKE IT? SNORT?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO
WITH THE STUFF ANYWAY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU DO WITH THE STUFF.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THINK THAT IT GOES
MORE THAN ONE WAY.
IT GOES BOTH WAYS,
AND, I MEAN, I HAVE A TRIGGER,
WHICH IS MY CHILDREN,
OBVIOUSLY MY SON,
AND SHE... KYLE HAS A TRIGGER,
WHICH IS HER SISTER,
AND THEN I JUST FELT
REALLY GANGED UP ON.
NOW... NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GO
CRAWLING BACK AND SAY SORRY.
AND IT... I DON'T WANT
THERE TO BE FRICTION,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME
I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR.
IT'S JUST... IT'S NOT FAIR.
- I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.
I DON'T WANT ANY...
- SHE SAID THAT
SHE HEARD YOU SAY,
"I DON'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- OH, BIG DEAL.
"I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."
SO EVERY ONE OF US
WOULD SAY THAT.
- IF I SAID ANYTHING,
IT WAS PROBABLY, LIKE,
"I DON'T... I DON'T LIKE...
I LOVE... I WANT CAMILLE.
I... 'CAUSE I LOVE CAMILLE."
IT WASN'T, "I DON'T LIKE HER."
- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
- BECAUSE, I MEAN,
IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.
- I MEAN, SHE SAID,
"I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."
I'M SITTING RIGHT THERE.
THAT WAS HARD.
AND THEN THEY... THEY, YOU KNOW,
ATTACKED MY CHILD. KYLE DID.
I... THAT'S NOT OKAY WITH ME.
- SHE DOES HAVE TWO SONS,
WHO, BY THE WAY,
PEED ON THE GRASS,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN
APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
- DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BABIES!
I JUST FEEL LIKE
IT MIGHT BE BETTER
TO SPEAK TO KYLE, JUST BECAUSE...
THAN KIM, TO BE... IN MY...
JUST BECAUSE I MET KIM
FOR TWO SECONDS THAT NIGHT.
I DON'T... I'VE NEVER
HAD A CONVERSATION WITH KIM.
EXCEPT FOR THE ARGUMENT.
I JUST... I JUST DON'T WANT IT
TO GET OUT OF HAND AGAIN.
I HAVE... I CANNOT
DEAL WITH THAT TODAY.
I, FIRST OF ALL, DON'T THINK
KIM KNOWS WHAT WENT DOWN.
I DON'T THINK THAT SHE'S READY
TO HAVE A DISCUSSION
ABOUT HAVING ANYTHING
TO DO WITH DRUGS,
OR BEING OBVIOUSLY
INEBRIATED THAT NIGHT.
SHE CLEARLY HAS A PROBLEM,
AND YOU CAN'T FIGHT WITH CRAZY,
SO I'M NOT GOING THERE.
- KYLE,
CAN SHE TALK TO YOU GUYS?
- KIM, YOU ACCEPT THE APOLOGY.
SHE WAS THE MOST RUDE...
- I DON'T WANT...
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH HER.
- I ASKED HER
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
- I DON'T WANT IT.
- BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STRONG,
BUT...
- THANK YOU, BUT...
- KYLE.
- WHAT?
- SHE WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU AS WELL.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO.
- PLEASE.
- I'VE HAD TOO MUCH
CAFFEINE FOR THIS TODAY.
I WILL. I WILL.
- PLEASE. IN A MINUTE.
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.
I'M JUST LETTING HER SAY
WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY.
- JUST LET HER...
- YOU KNOW,
WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO HER?
- I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HER.
IT'S THE RUDEST THING
I'VE EVER... EVER...
- I TOLD... I TOLD HER SHE HAS...
- OKAY, I WILL...
I WILL TALK TO HER.
- OH, ABSOLUTELY.
- BUT SHE'S WILLING
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
BUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY,
THEN...
- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.
I MEAN, I'M JUST...
I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE...
GIVING HER THE BENEFIT OF THE
DOUBT TO EXPLAIN HERSELF, OR...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO EXPLAIN.
WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN?
- I UNDERSTAND
HOW HARD IT IS TO...
BE THE TARGET.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES
AND SAY THINGS
WE SHOULDN'T SAY
ONCE IN A WHILE.
BRANDI DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.
- YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE
TO TALK TO HER?
- YOU'RE JUST GONNA TALK.
JUST...
- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- I'M GONNA LET HER SAY...
I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, KYLE? NOT COOL.
WHAT A TRAITOR.
I'M SORRY. I DEFENDED YOU.
I BASICALLY GOT TORN
TO SHREDS BY THIS GIRL,
AND THEN YOU WANT TO HAVE
A TALK WITH HER?
IT'S UPSETTING TO ME.
AND THE THING IS,
SHE'S NOT WORTH IT TO ME.
- THEN DON'T... THEN DON'T...
THEN THAT'S FINE.
- I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THIS PERSON.
YOU GUYS, I LOVE.
AND IF ONE OF YOU HAD
SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
IT WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS.
- WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
NO, NO, STOP.
I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.
DON'T BE UPSET. DON'T BE UPSET.
- DON'T EVEN LIKE
PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEM.
- LET'S JUST RELAX
AND NOT EVEN...
- I'M NOT SAYING
I'M GOING TO ACCEPT
AN APOLOGY ON YOUR BEHALF.
I'M JUST GONNA HEAR
WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY TO ME.
- BUT THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS.
I ONLY WAS DEFENDING YOU.
- THIS IS JUST A STRESS
THAT I DON'T NEED.
- I KNOW.
BUT, I MEAN, SOMETIMES PEACE
IS WORTH A LOT, SO...
- BUT I FEEL LIKE
WHEN I SPEAK TO CAMILLE,
SHE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE.
LIKE, SHE'S JUST SO CAREFUL,
AND I GET IT.
- HMM.
- [sighs] YI-YI-YI.
I SHOULD JUST
HIGH-TAIL IT OUT OF HERE.
I SHOULD GO, BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO SAY SORRY ANYWAY.
[laughs]
- HI.
- HELLO.
- COMING UP...
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.
ESPECIALLY MAKING
AN ACCUSATION LIKE THAT.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- I THINK I NEED
A GLASS OF WINE.
- YOU WANNA SIT AND ME STAND?
- UH, I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY.
- JUST A LITTLE...
- OKAY.
UM...
- I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA SAY.
"WE GOT STARTED OFF ON THE WRONG
FOOT," BLAH BLAH, WAH WAH.
- I JUST... THIS IS KILLING ME.
LIKE, ALL OF THE DRAMA
THAT WENT ON THE OTHER NIGHT.
I... YOU KNOW, I LOST IT.
OBVIOUSLY. I THINK
YOU GUYS LOST IT AS WELL.
I THINK IT WAS JUST...
MY TRIGGER IS MY KID.
LIKE, IF ANY... OR MY PARENT... IF
ANYTHING WITH MY CHILDREN...
LIKE, I LOSE MY MIND, AND I DID.
I LOST IT.
AND YOUR TRIGGER'S
OBVIOUSLY YOUR SISTER.
AND IT... WENT BAD,
AND IT WENT BAD QUICKLY,
AND I JUST FELT, LIKE,
ALONE AND GANGED UP ON.
AND I SAID THINGS
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.
AND I DON'T WANNA...
I DON'T WANNA HAVE IT, LIKE,
WHENEVER I SEE YOU,
NOT BE ABLE TO SAY HELLO.
I JUST THINK THAT, I DON'T... WE
DON'T NEED TO BE BEST FRIENDS.
BUT I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
WHERE WE HATE EACH OTHER.
- I DON'T HATE ANYBODY,
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
AND I GET THAT YOUR KIDS
ARE YOUR TRIGGER POINT,
BUT YOU STARTED THAT BEFORE
YOU TALKED ABOUT THE KIDS.
- WHAT?
- YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, STARTED IN
WITH, YOU KNOW, ABOUT MY SISTER.
THAT'S A VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATION
TO MAKE ABOUT SOMEBODY.
TO SAY SOMETHING... I DON'T
EVEN... WHATEVER THAT STUFF IS.
CRYSTAL MUD... MENTHOL... WHAT IS
IT? METHADONE? I DON'T KNOW...
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, BUT
THAT DIDN'T... THAT WASN'T BEFORE.
- OKAY, WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D BEEN
IN THE BATHROOM ALL NIGHT...
- THAT'S NOT... THAT'S WHEN
THE FIGHT HAD ALREADY STARTED.
- YEAH, BUT YOU THREW
THAT JAB ABOUT MY SISTER.
SO THAT'S WHEN I...
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S
MY SISTER, YOU CAN'T...
- SO THAT'S HER SIS...
WHAT... WHAT... LISTEN.
- AND I WASN'T ATTACKING
YOUR CHILDREN, BY THE WAY.
AS YOU KNOW, I SAID...
- THINK ABOUT THIS.
- BUT YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT
MY CHILDREN AT ALL.
I WOULD NEVER TALK
ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN.
- I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL.
I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL...
- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
CAN I SAY SOMETHING? HOLD ON,
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
- I JUST SAID YOU COULD'VE
AT LEAST MAYBE CORRECT THEM.
- WHAT DID I TELL YOU BEFORE?
- MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID
THAT TO YOU.
BUT YOU SAID A LOT OF THINGS
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID,
LIKE YOU SAID, AND I ALSO DID.
- I AGREE.
- LISTEN, BRANDI, SHE DIDN'T
MEAN TO ATTACK YOUR CHILD.
SHE WAS JUST
SUGGESTING SOMETHING...
- IT WAS NOT ABOUT
THE CHILD EVER.
THE CHILD HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
- AND I TOLD YOU. IT'S... WAS
NOT ABOUT YOUR CHILD.
IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
THE PROPER THING TO DO
IF YOUR CHILD IS DOING THAT.
AND I WOULD...
TRUST ME, I HAVE BOYS.
AND I THINK THAT'S WHERE
SHE WAS GOING WITH IT.
AND MAYBE YOU TOOK IT
THE WRONG WAY.
THAT'S... THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT
HER INTENTIONS WERE.
- ANYWAY I-I APPRECIATE
THE EFFORT AND...
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU SAID,
WE BOTH SAID THINGS
THAT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE.
BUT JUST DON'T EVER... YOU SAID
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS,
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.
ESPECIALLY MAKING ACCUSATIONS
LIKE THAT.
- OKAY, SO CAN WE MAKE A DEAL?
YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT
MY KIDS AND I...
- I WASN'T TALKING
ABOUT YOUR KIDS.
- OR LET'S JUST NOT EVEN...
NOT... NOT RIGHT NOW.
- I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU
HANDLED IT, NOT YOUR KIDS.
- THAT'S MY PARENTING.
I'M NOT GONNA EVER SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR PARENTING.
I MEAN, I'M A SINGLE MOM.
NONE OF YOU GUYS ARE.
SO YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- I HAVE BEEN.
I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM.
- OKAY, BUT MY SITUATION'S
A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
- I DON'T KNOW YOUR SITUATION
AND I SYMPATHIZE...
- BEING A PARENT IN GENERAL
IS VERY DIFFICULT.
- IS DIFFICULT, EXACTLY.
AND I'M NOT CHALLENGING
YOUR, UM, BEING A PARENT.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOM.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT
AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.
AND, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,
THINGS WERE HEATED.
AND WE SAID THINGS
WE DIDN'T MEAN, SO...
MOVING ON. MAYBE YOU COULD
APOLOGIZE TO MY SISTER.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!
I MEAN, LITERALLY,
I MET HER THAT NIGHT,
LIKE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE.
- IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT,
YOU'VE GOT TO APOLOGIZE.
- SHE WANTS TO.
- OKAY, WELL, THEN.
SEE IF KIM WILL ACCEPT IT.
I MEAN, THAT'S A LOW BLOW.
- I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S...
YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SHE SAT THERE AND SHE GOES,
"I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."
I'D NEVER MET HER BEFORE.
- I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM.
- [laughs]
- I JUST DON'T THINK PEOPLE SAY
THAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
AND THEN IT GOT...
- SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO BE ON YOUR TEAM.
- SHE WANTED CAMILLE, AND SHE
WAS KIND OF JOKING LIKE THAT.
THAT WAS RUDE WHEN SHE SAID
THAT, I-I-I ADMIT.
- ALL RIGHT, JUST TO HAVE THAT
SAID, IT WASN'T COMFORTABLE.
- I GET THAT, I GET THAT.
- WELL, THEN APOLOGIZE TO KIM
AND THEN SORT IT OUT.
- I JUST... I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
I DON'T KNOW THAT
I CAN DO THAT TODAY.
- EXACTLY, THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE SAYING,
YOU SHOULDN'T SAY
THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT HER
WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER.
- IT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT.
- WE DON'T NEED TO KEEP GOING
BACK OVER AND OVER THAT AGAIN.
SO... IT'S... LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
OKAY?
OKAY. - ALL RIGHTY THEN.
- I CAN'T WIN.
I-I CAN'T WIN. EVEN THOUGH
I'M SITTING HERE SAYING SORRY,
SHE'S STILL
KIND OF ATTACKING ME,
WHEN I FELT LIKE I WASN'T
A HUNDRED PERCENT WRONG.
- SHE'S CRYING.
- I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T EVEN WANNA...
- OH, MY GOD, KIM.
- SHE'S AN ACTRESS, I THINK.
SHE JUST WANTS TO BE.
DID YOU SEE HOW SHE WENT
FROM BEING NASTY
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...
[fake crying]
"MY BABIES." - [laughs]
WELL, SHE MIGHT COME APOLOGIZE
TO YOU, SO BE PREPARED.
NOW HOW'S THAT MASSAGE FEELING?
[laughs]
YOU FEEL RELAXED?
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, THEN, ALL
I CAN TELL YOU IS
SHE'LL END UP
WITH TWO BROKEN LEGS.
- [laughs] OH, MY GOD.
YOU WANNA SWIM WITH THE FISHES?
YOU WANNA PLAY
WITH THE BIG GIRLS?
- THANK YOU, HONEY, FOR DOING
THAT. THAT... THAT WAS...
- YOU WANNA PLAY
WITH THE BIG GIRLS?
GO AHEAD.
[laughter]
- OH, MY LORD.
I WANTED TO TRY
TO BE THE PEACEKEEPER.
BUT ULTIMATELY IT'S UP TO THEM
TO TRY TO... TO WORK IT OUT.
- WELL, I THINK THAT YOU
AND KYLE WERE ABLE TO RESOLVE
THAT YOU EACH HAD A PART IN... IN
SAYING THINGS YOU DIDN'T MEAN.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M... I'M THE ONE.
EVERYONE'S SAYING IT'S MY FAULT.
AND I JUST... [sighs]
IT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY
FOR THEM TO BE THAT WAY TO ME,
JUST BECAUSE I DID
SOMETHING WRONG, TOO.
- WELL...
I-I MEAN, I DO THINK,
AT SOME POINT,
YOU'VE GOTTA SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT THE CRYSTAL METH THING.
'CAUSE THAT WAS, LIKE...
REALLY OVER THE TOP.
- WAS IT?
I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN...
I'M GONNA GO.
I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT.
I NEED TO DO THINGS.
- OKAY.
- I DON'T PLAN ON
BRINGING KIM UP TO KYLE
OR ANY OF THE GIRLS AGAIN.
BECAUSE... THERE'S NO POINT.
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE.
I... I'M WASHING MY HANDS
OF THAT WHOLE SITUATION.
IT'S REALLY HARD 'CAUSE
NO ONE SEEMS TO HAVE MY SIDE.
NO ONE HAS MY BACK,
NO ONE'S SAYING...
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
- OH, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE.
YOU DIDN'T...
NO ONE IS ON MY SIDE.
AND I-I DEFINITELY HAVE
A VALID POINT OF THE WAY
I WAS TREATED THAT NIGHT.
IT WAS NOT GOOD.
AND I-I LOST IT, I LOST IT.
AND I WAS WRONG, BUT I DON'T...
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, THE PROBLEM IS,
IS YOU HAVE TO SEE BOTH SIDES.
YOU KNOW? THAT'S...
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- THERE'S YOUR STORY,
THERE'S HER STORY,
AND THERE'S THE TRUTH.
- RIGHT.
- SO MAYBE IT'S TOO SOON FOR
YOU, MAYBE IT'S SOON FOR HER.
BUT... ANYWAY.
- WELL, IT WORKS BETTER.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, OKAY.
- THANKS.
- SO... BUT YOU LOOK GOOD.
- WELL, THANKS. THANKS.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, SO I'LL
TALK, WE'LL TALK, AND... OKAY?
- YEAH, I'LL TEXT YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- COMING UP:
- DON'T LET THE DOOR
HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.
[laughs]
- WHOO! COME IN, GIRLS.
COME INTO THE BABY POOL.
YOU KNOW, GIRLS BECOME WOMEN.
AND WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES
DIFFICULT.
AND IT COMES WITH
ALL THEIR DRAMA.
SO HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY
TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM NOW
IS SOMETHING THAT
I REALLY ENJOY.
- I'M A MERMAID!
- ARE YOU A MERMAID?
- YEAH.
- SHOW ME.
- I'M A MERMAID.
- YOU LOOK LIKE A MERMAID.
HERE I COME.
SPENDING TIME WITH THE FAMILY
AND FAMILY TIME,
I THINK IS SO IMPORTANT.
UH, HOPEFULLY THE TIME
THAT WE SPEND WITH THEM NOW
WILL HELP OFFSET, YOU KNOW,
SOME CRANKY TEENAGERS
IN THE... LATER DOWN THE ROAD.
- [laughs]
- GAHHH!
- AHH, YOU HURT MY EYES.
- I'M SORRY.
- WATER EYES.
- [laughs]
- HOW WAS IT, KIM?
- LIKE, REALLY GOOD.
- HOW CAN YOU STAY RELAXED?
- I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T LET PEOPLE THAT
DON'T MATTER BOTHER ME.
- YOU WERE SHAKING
AND CRYING AT ONE...
- BECAUSE I WAS THINKING,
IF ONE OF YOU HAD DONE IT,
I WOULD WANT AN APOLOGY
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS.
YOU GUYS ALL MATTER TO ME.
AND THAT'S WHEN
I STARTED TO CRY.
BUT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MATTER
TO ME, THAT'S LIKE A SORE
OR A THING THAT NEEDS
TO BE CUT OFF THE BODY,
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
THEY DON'T...
THEY DON'T BOTHER ME.
BUT I GOT UPSET WHEN I LOOKED
AT ALL OF YOU GUYS.
IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME.
- YOU WERE GETTING MAD AT ME
FOR GOING OUT
TO EVEN HEAR
WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY.
- [chuckles] I-I'M DISAPPOINTED.
- WELL, IT WASN'T
ABOUT BRANDI, KIM,
IT WAS ABOUT ADRIENNE.
SHE WAS ASKING ME.
- BUT SHE HAD TO GO OUT.
ADRIENNE...
- NO, SHE DIDN'T.
- OF COURSE SHE DID.
SHE COULDN'T TELL HER
TO BUGGER OFF.
- I WAS PROTECTING YOU.
- I... AND I WAS PROTECTING YOU,
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- AND THEN SHE WENT
AFTER ME IN THAT HORRIBLE WAY.
- WASN'T LIKE WE WERE
TOTALLY INNOCENT THAT NIGHT.
LET'S BE HONEST.
- WHA... SHE... WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- I'M JUST SAYING, IT WASN'T
LIKE WE WERE, LIKE,
SITTING THERE LIKE
TWO LITTLE ANGELS.
WE FOUGHT BACK.
- I WAS ON THE RECEIVING END OF
KYLE'S SLINGS AND ARROWS
LAST YEAR,
SO I COULD EMPATHIZE
WITH BRANDI.
- WELL, THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING OFF.
NOBODY JUST FLIES OFF
THE HANDLE LIKE THAT.
FOR NO REASON.
- I COULD TELL YOU
WHAT HER PROBLEM IS.
SHE HAS NO FILTER.
SHE JUST SAYS WHAT
SHE WANTS TO SAY.
AND THEN SHE THINKS
ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS, LIKE,
"I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT."
- YOU KNOW WHAT, ADRIENNE?
THAT JUST WON'T WORK WITH ME.
- THAT'S THE WAY SHE IS,
THAT'S HER PERSONALITY.
- SO SOMEBODY SAYS... THE FIRST
THING SHE SAID WAS
"BRING IT ON, BITCH."
IS THAT WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU?
- I THINK EVERYTHING'S A BLUR.
- SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL.
- SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL.
- SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT OUT THERE,
THE BIG TEARS AND EVERYTHING.
I'M CONFUSED, I'M CONFUSED.
- BIG TEARS?
[fake sniffling] THAT'S AN ACT.
- KIM AND KYLE WERE MEAN TO ME.
I KNOW I'M A GOOD PERSON.
AND IF THEY DON'T WANT
TO SEE THAT SIDE OF ME,
THEN THEY CAN [bleep] OFF.
- - NOBODY LOOKS AND JUST...
"BRING IT ON, B-I-T-C-H."
YOU DON'T JUST LOOK,
LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN...
AND SUDDENLY... AND JUST... AND
THEN TO GO AFTER ME AFTERWARDS.
- NO, NO.
WHY? THAT'S EXACTLY WHY...
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY... HELLO.
[overlapping chatter, laughter]
- I WANT TO MOVE ON...
WITHOUT BRANDI. [laughs]
- DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU
ON THE WAY OUT.
[laughs] SORRY, BUT YOU KNOW...
- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS:
- HAPPY ENGAGEMENT, DARLING.
- OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SUCH
AN EXCITING NIGHT.
- A SMALL PARTY.
- OH, GOD, YOU'RE NOT... OH, NO!
[cheering]
- SO DID YOU READ
THE BIG STORY TODAY?
THEY LINK IT TO LISA.
WE'LL JUST SERVE THEM
WITH A LAWSUIT.
- THIS IS VERY AWKWARD.
AM I NEXT?
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
EVERYBODY ELSE FINDING OUT
ABOUT US?
WE WERE PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT KEEPING THAT A SECRET,
HAVEN'T WE?
- YOU HAVEN'T MET
MY SISTERS YET.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- NO, JAKEY! JAKEY!
[laughs]
AT LEAST IT'S NOT IN THE POOL.
- HER SON PEES ON THE GRASS,
AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN
CORRECT HIM.
- REAL REASON I'M HERE
IS TO COME AND ASK PERMISSION
TO MARRY PANDORA.
- OKAY, THEN.
- YOUR SISTER IS... IS WASTED
OUT OF HER [bleep] MIND.
LEAST I DON'T DO CRYSTAL METH
IN THE BATHROOM
ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.
[both yell indistinct]
- WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.
- DON'T YOU [bleep] THREATEN ME.
- LISTEN, LISTEN, NO. NO, NO!
STOP IT! STOP!
- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,
AND I MAKE THE RULES.
- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,
BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.
- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,
BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.
- I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,
AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO WORK FOR IT.
- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
FREEDOM IS.
- [sighs] ADRIENNE?
- YES?
- SO YOU READY
FOR YOUR COOKING LESSON?
- OH, PLEASE.
- WHAT?
THIS IS, LIKE, GONNA BE
A WAR ZONE HERE, OKAY?
- [laughs]
- BE EASY ON ME.
- COME ON.
- BE GENTLE.
- I WILL.
- LISA HAS ALWAYS
GIVEN ME A HARD TIME
ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO COOK.
THE LAST TIME I DID A CHICKEN,
IT WAS FROZEN ON BOTH SIDES
AND RAW IN THE MIDDLE.
THE ONLY WAY TO SHUT HER UP IS,
"OKAY, SHOW ME
HOW TO COOK, LISA."
- OKAY, WHERE'S THE FRIDGE?
FIRST THING.
- GEE, I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.
- OKAY, GOOD.
- OKAY?
- THAT'S A GOOD START.
- SO, IN FACT,
I'VE GOT THREE OF 'EM.
I CAN COUNT.
- I'VE SOLD THOUSANDS
OF CHICKEN DISHES
IN MY RESTAURANT,
SO I THINK
I'M PERFECTLY QUALIFIED
TO TEACH ADRIENNE
HOW TO COOK A CHICKEN.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.
- IT'S RIGHT HERE. NOW WHAT?
- OKAY,
WE'VE GOT TO OPEN HIM FIRST.
- WHAT DO YOU NEED?
A CUTTING BOARD...
- A CUTTING BOARD AND A KNIFE?
- I HAVE NO IDEA...
- WELL,
WHERE'S THE CHOPPING BOARD?
- OH, WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
OH. NO, THAT WOULDN'T BE IT.
DO YOU REALLY NEED A CHOP...
OH, HERE.
SEE?
OKAY. SO WHAT DO YOU... THIS...
- OKAY, OPEN HIM.
- OKAY. OPEN HIM.
LET ME PUT SOME GLOVES ON,
BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN SICK.
I GOT SALMONELLA POISONING,
SO I'M SCARED TO DEATH.
- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I'VE NEVER HAD THAT.
- I WANT TO PUT GLOVES ON,
'CAUSE...
- WELL, OF COURSE.
JUST PUT IT ON.
- OKAY.
- NOW, RIGHT...
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY, PICK IT UP. NOW REACH...
REACH INSIDE HIS BOTTOM.
NOW, DON'T BE COY.
- REACH...
- JUST...
- THIS IS DISGUSTING.
GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- OH, PLEASE, COME ON.
[laughter]
- WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH THIS STUFF?
- PUT IT IN YOUR HANDBAG.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
- I'LL PUT IT IN MY HANDBAG.
- GONNA TAKE HIM, WE'RE GONNA
WASH HIM FIRST, OKAY?
- OH, WASH HIM FIRST.
- HUH?
- DOES HE HAVE A NAME?
- YEAH.
HE DID ONCE, I'M SURE.
WE'LL JUST REFER TO HIM
AS "CHICKEN."
OKAY.
OKAY, WE DON'T NEED ANY SOAP.
DID YOU JUST PUT SOAP ON HIM?
- YEAH.
- YOU DIDN'T.
- WELL, OF COURSE.
- YOU PUT SOAP ON HIM?
- I WANT TO WASH IT.
- ON THE CHICKEN?
- LET ME TELL YOU WHY.
IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN SICK...
- YOU DON'T PUT SOAP ON IT.
- HAVE YOU EVER
HAD SALMONELLA POISONING?
YOU'D DO THE SAME THING.
- YOU'RE GONNA GET SICK
PUTTING SOAP ON HIM.
- NO, BUT JUST RINSE IT.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT
PUT SOAP ON IT?
- OH, MY GOD.
- HOW ELSE DO YOU GET
A CHICKEN CLEAN?
- NOT LIKE THAT.
- OKAY.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
PUT HIM IN THE DISHWASHER?
LET'S TAKE IT OFF
AND PAT HIM DRY, OKAY?
- AND PAT HIM DRY? OKAY.
- AND WE'RE GONNA CUT
SOME LEMON AND ONIONS.
I HAD NO IDEA
IT WOULD BE THIS STRESSFUL.
WHERE ARE YOUR ONIONS?
- THEY'RE PROBABLY
IN THE REFRIGERATOR, RIGHT?
- WELL, ONE WOULD HOPE SO,
BUT 'ROUND HERE, WHO KNOWS?
- UM, WHERE IN THE HECK...
OH, HERE IT IS.
OKAY.
HERE, I'LL LET YOU CUT THOSE.
- OKAY, NO, YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
OH, GOODNESS.
I HOPE THAT SHE KNOWS
HER WAY AROUND THE BEDROOM
BETTER THAN SHE DOES
AROUND THE KITCHEN,
FOR PAUL'S SAKE.
OKAY, LET'S PUT SOME HERBS
IN HIM AS WELL, OKAY?
SALT AND PEPPER?
HAVE YOU GOT
SALT AND PEPPER IN HERE?
- UH, BERNIE,
WHERE'S THE SALT AND PEPPER?
- OH. THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- OKAY, GIRL.
PUT THIS... STUFF IT ALL IN HIM.
- TO ME, I THINK YOU EITHER
REALLY LOVE COOKING,
OR IT JUST DOESN'T INTEREST YOU.
OH, MY GOD, THIS IS BORING.
OKAY, GO AHEAD.
I CAN'T STAND TO COOK.
- SO YOU STUCK
EVERYTHING UP HIS BOTTOM?
- YES.
- OKAY, GO...
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
- AND IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT,
SOMETHING WILL BE STUCK UP
YOUR BOTTOM
IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT.
- NO SUCH LUCK FOR ME.
I HAVE TO GO
ACROSS THE ROAD FOR THAT.
- YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- OKAY, NOW WE'RE GONNA
PUT HIM IN HERE.
DON'T HOLD HIM LIKE THAT.
PUT HIM IN THE OVEN
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.
- OKAY.
- AND THEN
WHEN YOU TAKE HIM OUT,
YOU LEAVE HIM TO STAND
FOR, LIKE, 15, 20 MINUTES
BEFORE YOU CUT HIM.
- LEAVE HIM TO STAND.
- LEAVE HIM...
YOU DON'T CARVE HIM.
- DO I STAND HIM UP?
- YOU DANCE WITH HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THERE, CATEGORICALLY,
IS NO HOPE FOR
ADRIENNE MALOOF IN THE KITCHEN.
I JUST STUCK IT IN THE OVEN,
AND I HIGH-TAILED IT
OUT OF THERE.
- HERE'S TO...
- HERE'S TO TAKE-OUT.
- HERE'S TO... YES. THANK YOU.
- TAYLOR, DO YOU HAVE PAPER?
- YEAH.
- WE CAN DO, JUST,
LIKE, SOME PAPER,
SO THEY CAN DO THEIR LITTLE...
- FINGER PAINTING?
- YEAH.
- PUT SOME NEWSPAPER DOWN.
- NO, THEY CAN JUST...
ON THE TABLE.
BUT WHERE'S
THE FINGER-PAINTING PAPER?
OH, PERFECT.
- TAYLOR'S, DANA'S,
AND MY CHILDREN
ARE ALL AROUND THE SAME AGE,
SO IT'S NICE
THEY CAN PLAY TOGETHER.
CAMILLE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE
DOLL AT THE CHARITY EVENT.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BARBIE.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID TOO.
- SHE'S BUILT LIKE A BARBIE.
AND THE LITTLE DRESS,
SHE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE.
- DID BRANDI APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- WE DIDN'T SPEAK.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I MEAN, I REALLY
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN... - I KNOW.
- I THINK THAT,
YOU KNOW, HER, UH...
MAKING THOSE ACCUSATIONS
AGAINST MY SISTER
WHEN THEY'VE NEVER
MET BEFORE IS... WAS JUST...
SO UNBELIEVABLE TO ME.
- CRYSTAL METH.
- I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU
COME UP WITH THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS WEIRD.
- IT WAS SUPER WEIRD.
- IT WAS REALLY WEIRD.
- I MEAN, IT WAS
REALLY LEFT FIELD.
- WHO THINKS OF THAT?
[overlapping comments]
- SHE SAID,
"I WANT TO KILL YOU."
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT
FOR ONE MINUTE?
- OH, SHE SAID THAT?
- OKAY, HOLD ON.
LET'S JUST TALK
ABOUT THAT FOR ONE MINUTE.
- SHE DID SAY
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU."
- "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
WHERE DO YOU COME FROM...
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
WHO SAYS, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?
- OH, GOSH.
AND I COULD TELL
THAT SHE FELT REALLY BAD
ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
SHE SAID SHE FELT VERY ISOLATED,
LIKE SHE WAS ALONE,
AND THAT WE WEREN'T GIVING...
INCLUDING HER IN THE GROUP.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER...
THE PART THAT I THOUGHT
WAS SO WEIRD
THAT I ASKED HER ABOUT
WAS I SAID,
"WHY DO YOU CALL YOURSELF
NEGATIVE NAMES?" I...
- LIKE SAYING, "I'M A SLUT."
- AND, "I'M TRAILER TRASH."
- LIKE, WHY WOULD SHE
SAY STUFF LIKE THAT?
- AND SHE SAID I JUST LIKE TO
SAY IT BEFORE OTHER PEOPLE DO.
BECAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS
ATTACK ME...
AND, YOU KNOW, SHE JUST SAID
THAT HER HUSBAND
HAS BEEN ATTACKING
HER PARENTING A LOT,
AND SO THE PARENTING THING
GOT HER ALL REVVED UP,
BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY
INSECURE ABOUT HIM
MAYBE COMING AFTER THE KIDS,
NOW THAT HE'S GOT THIS NEW,
STABLE HOME LIFE,
AND SHE'S A SINGLE MOM.
- WHEN TAYLOR TOLD ME WHAT
BRANDI'S BEEN GOING THROUGH,
IT KIND OF GAVE ME
A LITTLE MORE INSIGHT
AS TO WHO SHE IS
AND WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH
IN HER PERSONAL LIFE,
BUT YOU DO NOT SAY ANYTHING
AGAINST MY SISTER.
I DON'T EVEN CARE.
I DON'T NEED
AN APOLOGY FROM HER.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.
- THERE YOU GO.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.
- OH, FEELING GOOD, LITTLE MAN?
- HELLO, GALIF. HOW ARE YOU?
ANYTHING GOOD?
WHERE'S HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS?
- HI, LISA.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- FEELING WELL?
- GIGGY'S NOT FEELING SO GOOD.
- GIVE HIM SOME YOGURT.
I THINK IT WILL CURE ALL.
- MOHAMED, YOU'RE NOT A VET.
- MAYBE I'M NOT A VET IN...
IN A CERTIFICATION,
BUT I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A DOG.
I HAD DOGS ONCE BEFORE.
- YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?
THEY DIED, RIGHT? SO...
- HOW ABOUT SOME... A CUP OF TEA?
- OH, I'D LOVE SOME TEA.
HOUSE IS LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.
- SOME TEA, PLEASE.
- SO WHAT'S GOING ON?
- JULIA AND I DECIDED
TO DO A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR MY GODDAUGHTER PANDORA,
WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS YOUR GODDAUGHTER.
YOU'VE GOT TO PUT HER
IN YOUR WILL, THEN.
LET'S BE HONEST.
- SHE IS IN THE WILL ALREADY.
- SHE IS?
- YEAH.
- OKAY,
BE CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS.
[laughter]
HE ACTUALLY THINKS OF PANDORA
LIKE HIS GODDAUGHTER.
IT'S IRONIC, BECAUSE
SHE'S ACTUALLY THE SAME AGE
AS HIS GIRLFRIEND.
SO THEY KIND OF PLAY TOGETHER.
- GONNA HAVE DANCING GOING ON
AND GREAT FOOD AND GREAT MUSIC.
- WHAT KIND...
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
- ARABIAN NIGHT. ARABIAN THEME.
- OH, YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN.
- BELLY DANCERS.
- OH, REALLY?
- "BALI" DANCERS OR "BELLY"?
- BELLY. OR BELLY AND FROM BALI.
[laughter] - OKAY.
- SHOULD WE HAVE
A CAMEL OUTSIDE?
- OH.
- YEAH.
- YEAH?
SET THE WHOLE THING UP
IN THE MOROCCO ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.
- LET'S GO HAVE A LOOK AT IT.
- WANT TO SEE? LET'S GO.
- MOHAMMED'S HOUSE
IS ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE.
IT'S, LIKE, 60,000 SQUARE FOOT.
IT'S LIKE NOTHING
I'VE EVER SEEN, CERTAINLY.
- HERE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE PEOPLE SIT AROUND,
AROUND HERE.
SO THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING,
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE THEM...
AFTER PARTY HERE.
BOTH HERE.
THE EAT AND DRINK, MUSIC.
- THAT'S NAUGHTY ROOM IN THERE,
ISN'T IT?
- THAT'S A NAUGHTY ROOM.
YES, THAT'S... THAT HAS BEEN
A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY AREA.
- [laughs] OKAY.
- THIS IS A SECRET ROOM
THAT THEY...
- THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS,
MOHAMMED.
I MEAN, YOUR ROYAL NAUGHTINESS.
WHAT ON EARTH WENT ON HERE,
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
- IF SOMEBODY IS TIRED,
THEY WANT TO COME
AND HANG OUT AND RELAX,
WE HAVE A... A KIND OF, UH...
WE CALL IT A COMMUNE BED.
- MOHAMMED.
- WHAT?
- STOP.
- YOU NEVER KNOW.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET TIRED.
- NO, NO, I DO KNOW. IT'S NOT...
NONE OF THAT'S GOING ON HERE.
BUT IT IS AMAZING.
I'VE FORGOTTEN
HOW AMAZING YOU ARE.
- BUT IT'S HERE...
- IF YOU NEED IT.
- IN CASE. IF YOU NEED IT, YES.
- THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S
GONNA BE DOING THAT IS YOU.
OKAY. OH, GOD.
YOU SHOULD BE GIVING THAT UP
AT YOUR AGE, ANYWAY.
STOP IT.
- HA HA HA.
- I'M GETTING... YOU KNOW,
I'M PRACTICING FOR MY WEDDING.
- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
IF THE WALLS HAD EARS,
OH, GOOD LORD.
I'D HAVE TO PUT
MY FINGER IN MINE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT,
MOHAMMED.
GIVE IT UP.
- GIVE IT UP?
- YEAH, GIVE IT UP.
- I JUST STARTED.
- [laughs]
- COMING UP...
- KIM, STOP THIS
CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
WE HAVE TO GO.
- BOUNCE, BOUNCE,
BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE.
[laughs]
- I REALLY WANT TO HAVE
THE GIRLS ENJOY THEMSELVES
FOR THE DAY,
SO I DECIDED,
"WHY NOT HAVE A SPA DAY?"
I BUILT A FULL SPA AT MY HOUSE,
SO WHY GO ANYWHERE ELSE?
I BOUGHT EVERYTHING.
SPRAY-TANNING BOOTH...
LASER MACHINE.
HYDRO FACIAL.
I HAVE TWO MANICURISTS.
HOW'S EVERYTHING? OKAY?
ARE YOU SET UP?
- YES, WE'RE READY.
- WONDERFUL.
- TO DO GEL OR MANNIES.
- OH, GOOD.
- THREE MASSEUSES.
TWO AESTHETICIANS.
HOW'S EVERYTHING?
- JUST GETTING SET UP.
- OKAY, GOOD.
- DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OKAY OVER HERE?
- IF YOU NEED EXTRA TOWELS...
- MM-HMM.
- UH, WE'VE GOT LOADS OF TOWELS.
- OKAY.
- SO WHATEVER YOU NEED.
- OKAY.
- THREE WAITERS.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVING
ON A TRAY... CHAMPAGNE.
SO MAYBE YOU COULD GET
A TRAY FROM HIM.
- SURE. AND GET STARTED?
- AND HE CAN START AT THE DOOR
WHEN THE WOMEN WALK IN...
- AS SOON AS THEY WALK IN.
- JUST GIVE 'EM
A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.
- EXCELLENT. OKAY.
- AND OF COURSE
MY WONDERFUL CHEF BERNIE
AND HIS AMAZING DESSERTS.
OKAY, KIDS. HI.
- HI.
- LOOKING GOOD.
LOOKING REALLY GOOD.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- THIS IS FANTASTIC.
WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS RED VELVET CAKE.
- I LOVE THE GLITTER.
- UM, THIS IS... THIS IS MY,
ACTUALLY, MY NEW ADDITION
TO MY MANY TOYS.
LET ME GET IT OUT. SEE?
AND I'M GONNA SERVE 'EM
LIKE THIS ON THE TRAY.
- OH, GREAT.
- WE'LL HAVE A ROW OF 'EM,
SO I'LL TAKE IT OUT ON,
LIKE, A PLATTER.
- AND WHILE THE GIRLS
ARE BEING PAMPERED
WE'LL BE SERVING CHAMPAGNE,
CUCUMBER WATER,
FINGER FOODS, GOURMET CHEESE,
AND FROZEN YOGURT
WITH 15 DIFFERENT TOPPINGS.
- THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE
THE TOPPING FOR THE YOGURT,
SO THESE ARE ACTUALLY CREPES.
- THIS LOOKS GREAT.
- OKAY.
- THANK YOU.
- HELLO.
HELLO?
- WHO IS THAT?
- HELLO!
OH, I'M SO EXCITED AT YOUR FOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- HI.
- OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU.
- HI, MY DEAR.
- LOOK AT YOU. HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
I WASN'T AT GAME NIGHT,
BUT I DID HEAR ABOUT KIM
AND KYLE AND BRANDI'S ARGUMENT.
MAYBE IF I HAD BEEN THERE
IT WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN
SO OUT OF HAND.
- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.
- OH, REALLY? IS THAT A THREAT?
- PLEASE. PLEASE.
- YEAH. YEAH.
- I KNOW SHE'S VERY OUTSPOKEN,
BUT SHE'S A REALLY GOOD PERSON,
AND I'M HOPING KYLE AND KIM
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.
WHAT'S NEW?
- WHAT'S UP WITH
THE CHIPPENDALES WAITERS?
- [laughs]
NOT BAD LOOKING, RIGHT?
HE'S CUTE, RIGHT? REALLY CUTE.
WHAT IS THIS?
- THIS IS EDIBLE...
- CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
- GOLD DUST.
- I KNEW YOU WERE
GONNA SAY THAT. ONLY...
- ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS
WOULD YOU...
ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS, RIGHT?
- CAN I TRY IT? I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT GOLD TASTES LIKE.
- YEAH. GO FOR IT.
- I'M GONNA NIBBLE
ON MY JEWELRY LATER.
- WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
- CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS GOLD.
I'M EATING GOLD.
DO YOU HAVE ANY DIAMONDS?
- [laughs]
- WHERE WERE THE DIAMONDS?
SO CHEAP.
- JUST GO TO THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS,
AND THERE'S A VERY HANDSOME
YOUNG GENTLEMAN
WAITING TO HELP OUT.
- PUT A ROBE ON ME?
- YES.
- DE-ROBE ME?
- DON'T WORRY.
- HI. SORRY.
I JUST WALKED RIGHT IN.
- THAT'S OKAY. YEAH.
NO WORRIES.
MY HOME IS YOUR HOME.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
REALLY? PROMISE?
- YEAH. YEAH. EXACTLY.
- HI, HONEY. HOW ARE YOU?
I LIKE YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT.
- DO YOU REALLY?
- UH-HUH, I DO.
- I WAS TRYING SOMETHING
DIFFERENT TODAY.
- HI, BABY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU'RE AWFULLY DRESSED UP
FOR SPA DAY.
- I KNOW.
- IT'S JUST JEANS.
- HELLO.
- HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?
- HELLO? OH, HELLO.
- WAI... OOH.
- THAT LOOKS VERY NICE.
- HI. HELL-O.
- TIME TO CHANGE.
- WHICH SHOEBOX DO I GET?
- UM, THE ONE WITH
YOUR NAME ON IT.
[laughs]
- NO, I WANT TO SEE WHAT
WE'RE GONNA BE WEARING TODAY.
- OH, OKAY.
- OH, CUTE.
LITTLE FLORAL FLIP FLOPS.
- LET ME SEE.
- YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ADRIENNE
WOULD NEVER GET US FLAT SHOES.
THERE HAS TO BE A HEEL.
- HEEL FLIP FLOPS.
- SURE.
THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- EVERYBODY'S RIGHT UPSTAIRS.
- UPSTAIRS. OKAY.
GETTING DRESSED?
- YES.
- INTO WHAT?
- INTO YOUR SPA OUTFITS.
- SPA OUTFIT. OKAY.
LET'S GO.
- DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING?
- WELL, YEAH.
- YES.
- WHAT'S ON... [laughter]
- WHAT'S ON THE MENU?
- SOMEBODY THAT WANTS
TO TRY THIS,
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
IT EXFOLIATES, AND THEN IT PUTS
VITAMINS BACK IN YOUR SKIN.
AND I PROMISE YOU,
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.
YOU WANT TO DO IT?
- I NEED TO DO THAT,
'CAUSE MY SKIN IS VERY DRY.
- SO, AUBREY, YOU WANT
TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT THIS IS?
- IS IT GONNA STRIP OFF MY TAN?
- IT'S... NOT REALLY.
- YOU'RE GONNA BE...
- 'CAUSE WHAT IF THE...
HALF THE TAN COMES OFF,
AND I WALK AROUND
LOOKING LIKE I'M...
- IT DOESN'T.
I PROMISE YOU, YOU'RE GONNA...
- IT'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A,
YOU KNOW...
- HELLO.
OOH.
ADRIENNE?
- ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING
THAT YOU KNOW OF,
LIKE, TOPICALLY, OR...?
- WHAT... WHAT IS IT
GONNA DO TO ME?
- IT'S GOING
TO LIGHTLY EXFOLIATE.
- IS IT SAFE AND NO NEEDLES?
- NO, NO NEEDLES.
- FEELS VERY GOOD.
DOESN'T HURT OR ANYTHING.
AND THEN...
- THAT LOOKS, LIKE... SCARY.
- OKAY. I'M GONNA
START ON YOUR FOREHEAD,
AND YOU JUST LET ME KNOW
IF IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE,
WHICH IT SHOULDN'T BE.
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OW. JUST KIDDING.
[laughs] I'M KIDDING.
- HELLO.
HOW COME YOU'RE SO LATE?
WE THOUGHT WE WERE LATE,
AND THEN YOU'RE EVEN LATER.
HELLO, DARLING.
- I BEEN... BUSY DOING THINGS.
HI.
I DIDN'T THINK I WAS LATE.
SOMEBODY MUST HAVE GIVEN ME
THE WRONG TIME.
- I DON'T KNOW. BUT I...
SO THIS IS ADRIENNE'S MACHINE
SHE HAS AT HOME?
- YEAH, IT'S HER MACHINE.
- HOW MUCH
IS A MACHINE LIKE THIS?
- A MACHINE LIKE THIS? 30,000.
- CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THAT MUCH.
- IT CAN DEFINITELY
CHANGE THE SKIN.
- COULD JUST GET A WHOLE NEW
FACE FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY.
ADRIENNE IS ONE LUCKY WOMAN.
I REALLY WISH I LIVED THERE.
- THE REST OF THE GIRLS
ARE HERE.
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
- HI.
- HI.
- KYLE,
YOUR SISTER'S FINALLY HERE.
KYLE KEEPS GOING,
"IS KIM HERE? IS KIM HERE?"
- WHERE IS SHE?
- SHE'S GETTING,
LIKE, A TREATMENT.
- I JUST HAD A FACIAL.
- DID YOU?
- WELL, NOT A FACIAL.
A HYDRATING...
THIS... FOR THIS MACHINE.
YOU HAVE TO DO THAT.
LOOK, I JUST DID IT.
FEELS SUPER SOFT.
- MM.
- PRETTY.
I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT KIM
SHOWED UP AT ADRIENNE'S,
BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN SHE'S GONNA SHOW UP.
ISN'T THIS PRETTY?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- OH, MY GOD.
- LOOK AT THE TREES.
- SHOULD WE GO ON
THE TRAMPOLINE? RIGHT NOW?
- WANT TO GO DO IT?
- SHOULD WE?
- THE ONLY PROBLEM...
- YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
WE LOVE TRAMPOLINES.
[laughs]
DO YOU HAVE A PEDICURE?
- SO MUCH FUN.
- OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA...
AFTER FOUR KIDS, IT'S NOT FUN
TO GO ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
- YES, IT IS. WATCH THIS.
OH!
DON'T... KIM,
I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS.
LITERALLY.
WE WERE HAVING A LOT OF FUN.
JUST REMINDING ME
OF WHEN WE WERE LITTLE,
AND JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE...
EXCEPT IT WAS BEFORE
I HAD FOUR KIDS,
AND MY BLADDER
WAS STRONGER THEN.
[laughs]
OW!
- FOR ME, I'M... I'M ALWAYS
JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
I LOVE IT.
BUT KYLE FELT, LIKE,
KIND OF SILLY,
AND LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO.
- KIM, STOP
THIS CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
WE HAVE TO GO.
- [sighs] YEAH.
BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE,
BOUNCE, BOUNCE.
[laughs]
DO YOU WANT TO GO
ON THE SEE-SAW?
[laughter]
- HI.
- HELLO.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.
- YOU OKAY?
- YEAH, I GOT IT. THANKS.
WHEN ADRIENNE
INVITED ME TO SPA DAY,
I THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOSH,
I'D RATHER BREAK MY OTHER LEG
THAN GO TO YOUR HOUSE
AND HANG OUT WITH KIM AND KYLE.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- BUT IT WAS REALLY
IMPORTANT FOR ME
TO GO AND SHOW ADRIENNE
THAT, YOU KNOW,
I WASN'T GONNA SKIP SOMETHING
THAT SHE WANTED ME TO GO TO
BECAUSE OF THE OTHER DRAMA.
I'M GONNA BE A GOOD
FRIEND TO HER.
- A RELAXING SPA DAY
AND A DAY WITH BRANDI
IS KIND OF AN OXYMORON.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
[speaking indistinct]
- COMING UP...
- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
WHAT A TRAITOR.
- NO, NO, STOP.
I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.
- OKAY, GIRLS?
GIRLS, THIS MACHINE
IS AMAZING FOR YOUR FACE.
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THIS DOES.
SO THIS IS INFRARED LIGHTING.
IT'S ALL LIGHT THERAPY.
AND THIS WILL HELP
WITH TIGHTENING OF THE SKIN,
ROSACEA, ACNE.
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE
THAT YOU WANT TO IMPROVE ON,
THIS IS THE DEAL.
- I DID A COUPLE SPA TREATMENTS
WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE
TO TALK TO ANYONE ON PURPOSE,
BECAUSE I WAS SCARED.
- BRANDI, YOU OKAY OVER THERE?
WHAT IS IT? LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GOING INTO SURGERY.
- I KNOW. IT'S FINE.
I JUST... THERE'S NOTHING.
I'M JUST WAITING
FOR THE RESULTS.
- DID YOU SEE BRANDI?
- NO. YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDED?
NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY
THAT'S GONNA BE NEGATIVE,
THAT'S GONNA TALK LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T EVEN
WANT TO LOOK AT HER.
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S CUTE.
I DON'T THINK
SHE'S GOT A PRETTY MOUTH.
DIRTY, DIRTY, UGLY MOUTH.
LIKE A SEWER.
NO. IT'S NOT SOMEBODY
I WANT IN MY HOUSE.
NO, THANK YOU.
DON'T EVEN CARE TO SEE, DISCUSS.
- YEAH, BUT SHE'S GONNA BE
IN THE ROOM WITH US.
WE HAVE NO CHOICE.
- I HAVE A CHOICE.
IT'S CALLED SELECTIVE HEARING,
SELECTIVE SEEING.
SELECTIVE ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
[laughter]
- SELECTIVE IGNORING.
- WHATEVER.
- YOU FEED INTO IT,
IT'S LIKE FEEDING...
A PLANT THAT YOU LOVE,
OR FEEDING...
- A PIRANHA.
[laughs]
- WOW. SEE, THIS LOOKS AMAZING.
- CHECK THESE OUT.
THIS IS AMAZING, ADRIENNE.
IT REALLY IS JUST SPECTACULAR.
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME.
- OF COURSE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HELP YOURSELF.
- OKAY, THANK YOU.
- BEFORE MY YOGURT, I'M HUNGRY.
I'LL HAVE SOME CHEESE.
I LIKE TO EAT A LOT.
- [laughs]
- TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT.
[crack] OOPS.
- UH-OH.
- ADRIENNE'S SPA DAY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
I DON'T THINK ANYTHING
LIKE THIS EXISTS.
- THAT'S THE MACHINE?
- YES, ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
- THESE ARE HOT.
[laughter]
HOW CUTE ARE THOSE?
AREN'T THOSE CUTE?
I'M JUST GONNA CLOSE
THIS WHILE I PREP.
- OH, SURE. GO AHEAD.
- THIS IS A GOOD LOOK FOR ME.
[laughter]
- I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE
A SPRAY TAN BOOTH AT MY HOUSE,
BUT THE FACT THAT SHE'S HAD THAT
ACROSS THE ROAD FROM ME
AND JUST FORGOTTEN
TO MENTION IT...
HMM.
- AAH!
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. STOP. STOP.
- AAH!
- AAH!
- SORRY.
- OH, DON'T ACT SHY NOW.
- HOLD ON. [laughter]
THE SPA GUYS ARE COMING IN.
- HE'S GOT A VERY LARGE PENIS!
- WHO?
[laughter]
I SWEAR.
WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO HERE?
- CAMILLE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC,
DARLING.
BEND OVER. BEND OVER.
- I'M GETTING BEAUTIFIED.
- OKAY, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
- OH, BOY.
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M OKAY. I'M JUST...
- YOU'RE... YOU'RE VERY
SERENE TODAY.
I KNOW THIS WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN
KIND OF, LIKE, EASY GOING...
BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LATER,
I MEAN, TALK TO HER, AND...
- RIGHT. NO, I WILL.
I'LL RELAX, AND I'LL... I'LL
DEFINITELY GO TALK TO HER.
I JUST DON'T WANT...
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FEAR
OF REJECTION AS WELL.
YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE
TO BE LIKE,
"NO, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.
- WHEN ALL OF US GET TOGETHER,
AND...
- I KNOW.
- I DON'T WANT...
I MEAN, THERE'S SO MUCH...
- TENSION.
- RIGHT.
- SO...
- I'LL TALK TO HER.
LET ME JUST FINISH THIS UP.
YEAH, YEAH, I WILL.
- I KNOW. I JUST WANTED
TO SEE IF YOU WERE OKAY,
'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SO QUIET.
- I KNOW. THANK YOU, BABE.
- ALL RIGHT, HON.
- I CAN'T EMOTIONALLY HANDLE
ALL OF THE THINGS
THAT ARE GOING ON IN MY LIFE
PLUS KIM AND KYLE.
- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, CAMILLE?
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU NOW?
- OH, LET'S SEE.
WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?
I'M BRINGING ON A THERAPIST.
BRINGING A... A NEW THERAPIST
TO WORK SOLELY WITH MY CHILDREN.
- IS IT THAT BAD NOW?
- NOT SOMEBODY THAT'S
THROUGH THE COURT SYSTEM
OR HIRED THROUGH
MY EX'S ATTORNEY.
- YEAH, BECAUSE
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BIASED.
- YES.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY BIASED.
I'M BRINGING SOMEBODY
THAT'S SOLELY GONNA WORK
FOR MY CHILDREN,
FOR THEIR BE...
YOU KNOW,
FOR THEIR BEST INTERESTS.
IT'S JUST BEEN TOUGH.
- IS HE STILL A MESS?
JUDE, YOU KNOW.
- JUDE'S GOTTEN A LOT BETTER.
- OH, GOOD.
- HE'S DOING
REALLY, REALLY WELL.
- OH, THAT'S GOOD.
BECAUSE HE'S IN ONE PLACE NOW?
- YES.
- BECAUSE HE'S WITH YOU?
- YES. YES, HE'S BACK HOME.
HE'S HAPPY. HE'S ON PLAY DATES.
HE'S HAPPY. HE LOVES HIS SCHOOL.
HE LOVES BEING
AROUND HIS SISTER.
- OH, THANK GOD.
- HE'S ACTIVE, AND HE'S...
- YEAH.
- HE'S A LITTLE BOY.
- RELAX.
- I'M RELAXED
AS I'M GONNA GET AROUND HERE.
- [laughs]
- RIGHT, LISA?
- I'M NOT GONNA
GO BLIND FROM THIS...
[upbeat music]
- [laughs] I'M TICKLISH.
[laughs] OH, YOU BI...
[laughter]
I WAS LIKE,
"WHAT IS THIS WOMAN DOING?"
OH, MY GOD.
OW, MY TOE.
- I HATE TO RUIN YOUR...
HATE TO RUIN YOUR MASSAGE,
BUT, UM, I JUST
TALKED TO BRANDI.
SHE SAID HE MIGHT WANT TO TALK
TO YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.
- RIGHT NOW?
- NO, NOT NOW. LATER.
- THANKS FOR
THE RELAXING MASSAGE.
[laughter]
- I KNOW.
- MY WHOLE BODY
JUST KNOTTED UP LIKE...
TALK TO BRANDI?
COULDN'T YOU'VE HAD ME
DO THAT FIRST,
AND THEN I COULD GET THE MASSAGE
TO WORK THE KNOTS OUT?
[sighs]
AND SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO KIM.
THEN WE CAN TALK.
- YEAH. I THINK
THAT'S THE FIRST STEP.
- OKAY.
- I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS
ON A RELAXING DAY.
- HEY.
- WHERE'S KIM?
- GETTING HER NAILS DONE
RIGHT THERE.
- OH, OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
- OH, GOD.
- THIS IS WHAT I THINK.
NO, NO, NO, COME ON. COME HERE.
IT'S OKAY. COME HERE.
I THINK THE ONLY THING
THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO,
BECAUSE KIM'S KIND OF
AVOIDING YOU,
IS APOLOGIZE FOR JUST SAYING
THE THING ABOUT THE...
THE DRUGS.
- BUT SHE INSULTED ME FIRST,
AND I FEEL LIKE WHY AM I
TAKING ALL THE BLAME
WHEN THEY DID IT TOO?
- NO, NO, NO, I... I KNOW,
BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
IT'S SUCH A HARSH STATEMENT...
- RIGHT.
- ...TO MAKE.
- HAVE YOU TALKED TO BRANDI?
- I TOLD YOU I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF ACKNOWLEDGING.
I'M NOT GONNA FEED A PIRANHA.
- A WHAT?
- A PIRANHA.
- OH.
- YOU GAVE ME THE WORD.
- A PIRANHA.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HONESTLY I DON'T...
YOU KNOW HOW
I DON'T LIKE CONFLICT.
- YEAH.
- AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT I EVEN LET THIS PERSON IN
WITH... TALKS... TALKS FULLY...
DOESN'T... I MEAN, JUST...
JUST GOES
TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE
AND TALKS THIS WAY
AND ACTS THIS WAY.
AND I... DRAG... ACTUALLY DRAG ME...
LIKE, LET MY... - INTO IT. YEAH.
- AND I DON'T GO THERE.
YOU KNOW I DON'T.
- YEAH, YEAH.
NO, I KNOW YOU DON'T.
- SO I'M HONESTLY...
I JUST DECIDED I'M NOT
GONNA EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE.
IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT WORTH
ME GETTING UPSET.
- DO YOU THINK
SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- WELL, IT FIRST STARTED WITH...
DEFINITELY,
SHE WENT AFTER BOTH OF US.
SHE STARTED WITH KYLE, AND I...
- SHE WAS MORE RUDE TO YOU.
I DON'T... SOMEONE WANTS
TO CALL ME A BITCH,
I DON'T CARE, BUT THAT WAS RUDE
WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU.
- MAYBE JUST BE
THE BIGGER PERSON.
SAY, "LISTEN, I'M SORRY
I ACCUSED YOU OF THIS."
- I DON'T THINK ADRIENNE
HAD ALL THE INFORMATION
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,
AND I THINK SHE JUST WAS REALLY
TRYING TO KEEP THE PEACE.
- WELL, I WOULDN'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH WHAT SHE CALLED ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU...
IN... SHOOT IT, SMOKE IT? SNORT?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO
WITH THE STUFF ANYWAY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU DO WITH THE STUFF.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THINK THAT IT GOES
MORE THAN ONE WAY.
IT GOES BOTH WAYS,
AND, I MEAN, I HAVE A TRIGGER,
WHICH IS MY CHILDREN,
OBVIOUSLY MY SON,
AND SHE... KYLE HAS A TRIGGER,
WHICH IS HER SISTER,
AND THEN I JUST FELT
REALLY GANGED UP ON.
NOW... NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GO
CRAWLING BACK AND SAY SORRY.
AND IT... I DON'T WANT
THERE TO BE FRICTION,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME
I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR.
IT'S JUST... IT'S NOT FAIR.
- I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.
I DON'T WANT ANY...
- SHE SAID THAT
SHE HEARD YOU SAY,
"I DON'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- OH, BIG DEAL.
"I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."
SO EVERY ONE OF US
WOULD SAY THAT.
- IF I SAID ANYTHING,
IT WAS PROBABLY, LIKE,
"I DON'T... I DON'T LIKE...
I LOVE... I WANT CAMILLE.
I... 'CAUSE I LOVE CAMILLE."
IT WASN'T, "I DON'T LIKE HER."
- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
- BECAUSE, I MEAN,
IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.
- I MEAN, SHE SAID,
"I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."
I'M SITTING RIGHT THERE.
THAT WAS HARD.
AND THEN THEY... THEY, YOU KNOW,
ATTACKED MY CHILD. KYLE DID.
I... THAT'S NOT OKAY WITH ME.
- SHE DOES HAVE TWO SONS,
WHO, BY THE WAY,
PEED ON THE GRASS,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN
APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
- DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BABIES!
I JUST FEEL LIKE
IT MIGHT BE BETTER
TO SPEAK TO KYLE, JUST BECAUSE...
THAN KIM, TO BE... IN MY...
JUST BECAUSE I MET KIM
FOR TWO SECONDS THAT NIGHT.
I DON'T... I'VE NEVER
HAD A CONVERSATION WITH KIM.
EXCEPT FOR THE ARGUMENT.
I JUST... I JUST DON'T WANT IT
TO GET OUT OF HAND AGAIN.
I HAVE... I CANNOT
DEAL WITH THAT TODAY.
I, FIRST OF ALL, DON'T THINK
KIM KNOWS WHAT WENT DOWN.
I DON'T THINK THAT SHE'S READY
TO HAVE A DISCUSSION
ABOUT HAVING ANYTHING
TO DO WITH DRUGS,
OR BEING OBVIOUSLY
INEBRIATED THAT NIGHT.
SHE CLEARLY HAS A PROBLEM,
AND YOU CAN'T FIGHT WITH CRAZY,
SO I'M NOT GOING THERE.
- KYLE,
CAN SHE TALK TO YOU GUYS?
- KIM, YOU ACCEPT THE APOLOGY.
SHE WAS THE MOST RUDE...
- I DON'T WANT...
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH HER.
- I ASKED HER
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
- I DON'T WANT IT.
- BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STRONG,
BUT...
- THANK YOU, BUT...
- KYLE.
- WHAT?
- SHE WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU AS WELL.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO.
- PLEASE.
- I'VE HAD TOO MUCH
CAFFEINE FOR THIS TODAY.
I WILL. I WILL.
- PLEASE. IN A MINUTE.
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.
I'M JUST LETTING HER SAY
WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY.
- JUST LET HER...
- YOU KNOW,
WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO HER?
- I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HER.
IT'S THE RUDEST THING
I'VE EVER... EVER...
- I TOLD... I TOLD HER SHE HAS...
- OKAY, I WILL...
I WILL TALK TO HER.
- OH, ABSOLUTELY.
- BUT SHE'S WILLING
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
BUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY,
THEN...
- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.
I MEAN, I'M JUST...
I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE...
GIVING HER THE BENEFIT OF THE
DOUBT TO EXPLAIN HERSELF, OR...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO EXPLAIN.
WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN?
- I UNDERSTAND
HOW HARD IT IS TO...
BE THE TARGET.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES
AND SAY THINGS
WE SHOULDN'T SAY
ONCE IN A WHILE.
BRANDI DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.
- YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE
TO TALK TO HER?
- YOU'RE JUST GONNA TALK.
JUST...
- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?
- I'M GONNA LET HER SAY...
I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, KYLE? NOT COOL.
WHAT A TRAITOR.
I'M SORRY. I DEFENDED YOU.
I BASICALLY GOT TORN
TO SHREDS BY THIS GIRL,
AND THEN YOU WANT TO HAVE
A TALK WITH HER?
IT'S UPSETTING TO ME.
AND THE THING IS,
SHE'S NOT WORTH IT TO ME.
- THEN DON'T... THEN DON'T...
THEN THAT'S FINE.
- I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THIS PERSON.
YOU GUYS, I LOVE.
AND IF ONE OF YOU HAD
SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
IT WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS.
- WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
NO, NO, STOP.
I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.
DON'T BE UPSET. DON'T BE UPSET.
- DON'T EVEN LIKE
PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEM.
- LET'S JUST RELAX
AND NOT EVEN...
- I'M NOT SAYING
I'M GOING TO ACCEPT
AN APOLOGY ON YOUR BEHALF.
I'M JUST GONNA HEAR
WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY TO ME.
- BUT THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS.
I ONLY WAS DEFENDING YOU.
- THIS IS JUST A STRESS
THAT I DON'T NEED.
- I KNOW.
BUT, I MEAN, SOMETIMES PEACE
IS WORTH A LOT, SO...
- BUT I FEEL LIKE
WHEN I SPEAK TO CAMILLE,
SHE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE.
LIKE, SHE'S JUST SO CAREFUL,
AND I GET IT.
- HMM.
- [sighs] YI-YI-YI.
I SHOULD JUST
HIGH-TAIL IT OUT OF HERE.
I SHOULD GO, BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO SAY SORRY ANYWAY.
[laughs]
- HI.
- HELLO.
- COMING UP...
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.
ESPECIALLY MAKING
AN ACCUSATION LIKE THAT.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- I THINK I NEED
A GLASS OF WINE.
- YOU WANNA SIT AND ME STAND?
- UH, I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY.
- JUST A LITTLE...
- OKAY.
UM...
- I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA SAY.
"WE GOT STARTED OFF ON THE WRONG
FOOT," BLAH BLAH, WAH WAH.
- I JUST... THIS IS KILLING ME.
LIKE, ALL OF THE DRAMA
THAT WENT ON THE OTHER NIGHT.
I... YOU KNOW, I LOST IT.
OBVIOUSLY. I THINK
YOU GUYS LOST IT AS WELL.
I THINK IT WAS JUST...
MY TRIGGER IS MY KID.
LIKE, IF ANY... OR MY PARENT... IF
ANYTHING WITH MY CHILDREN...
LIKE, I LOSE MY MIND, AND I DID.
I LOST IT.
AND YOUR TRIGGER'S
OBVIOUSLY YOUR SISTER.
AND IT... WENT BAD,
AND IT WENT BAD QUICKLY,
AND I JUST FELT, LIKE,
ALONE AND GANGED UP ON.
AND I SAID THINGS
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.
AND I DON'T WANNA...
I DON'T WANNA HAVE IT, LIKE,
WHENEVER I SEE YOU,
NOT BE ABLE TO SAY HELLO.
I JUST THINK THAT, I DON'T... WE
DON'T NEED TO BE BEST FRIENDS.
BUT I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
WHERE WE HATE EACH OTHER.
- I DON'T HATE ANYBODY,
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
AND I GET THAT YOUR KIDS
ARE YOUR TRIGGER POINT,
BUT YOU STARTED THAT BEFORE
YOU TALKED ABOUT THE KIDS.
- WHAT?
- YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, STARTED IN
WITH, YOU KNOW, ABOUT MY SISTER.
THAT'S A VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATION
TO MAKE ABOUT SOMEBODY.
TO SAY SOMETHING... I DON'T
EVEN... WHATEVER THAT STUFF IS.
CRYSTAL MUD... MENTHOL... WHAT IS
IT? METHADONE? I DON'T KNOW...
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, BUT
THAT DIDN'T... THAT WASN'T BEFORE.
- OKAY, WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D BEEN
IN THE BATHROOM ALL NIGHT...
- THAT'S NOT... THAT'S WHEN
THE FIGHT HAD ALREADY STARTED.
- YEAH, BUT YOU THREW
THAT JAB ABOUT MY SISTER.
SO THAT'S WHEN I...
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S
MY SISTER, YOU CAN'T...
- SO THAT'S HER SIS...
WHAT... WHAT... LISTEN.
- AND I WASN'T ATTACKING
YOUR CHILDREN, BY THE WAY.
AS YOU KNOW, I SAID...
- THINK ABOUT THIS.
- BUT YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT
MY CHILDREN AT ALL.
I WOULD NEVER TALK
ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN.
- I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL.
I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL...
- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
CAN I SAY SOMETHING? HOLD ON,
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
- I JUST SAID YOU COULD'VE
AT LEAST MAYBE CORRECT THEM.
- WHAT DID I TELL YOU BEFORE?
- MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID
THAT TO YOU.
BUT YOU SAID A LOT OF THINGS
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID,
LIKE YOU SAID, AND I ALSO DID.
- I AGREE.
- LISTEN, BRANDI, SHE DIDN'T
MEAN TO ATTACK YOUR CHILD.
SHE WAS JUST
SUGGESTING SOMETHING...
- IT WAS NOT ABOUT
THE CHILD EVER.
THE CHILD HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
- AND I TOLD YOU. IT'S... WAS
NOT ABOUT YOUR CHILD.
IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
THE PROPER THING TO DO
IF YOUR CHILD IS DOING THAT.
AND I WOULD...
TRUST ME, I HAVE BOYS.
AND I THINK THAT'S WHERE
SHE WAS GOING WITH IT.
AND MAYBE YOU TOOK IT
THE WRONG WAY.
THAT'S... THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT
HER INTENTIONS WERE.
- ANYWAY I-I APPRECIATE
THE EFFORT AND...
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU SAID,
WE BOTH SAID THINGS
THAT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE.
BUT JUST DON'T EVER... YOU SAID
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS,
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.
ESPECIALLY MAKING ACCUSATIONS
LIKE THAT.
- OKAY, SO CAN WE MAKE A DEAL?
YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT
MY KIDS AND I...
- I WASN'T TALKING
ABOUT YOUR KIDS.
- OR LET'S JUST NOT EVEN...
NOT... NOT RIGHT NOW.
- I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU
HANDLED IT, NOT YOUR KIDS.
- THAT'S MY PARENTING.
I'M NOT GONNA EVER SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR PARENTING.
I MEAN, I'M A SINGLE MOM.
NONE OF YOU GUYS ARE.
SO YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I GO THROUGH.
- I HAVE BEEN.
I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM.
- OKAY, BUT MY SITUATION'S
A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
- I DON'T KNOW YOUR SITUATION
AND I SYMPATHIZE...
- BEING A PARENT IN GENERAL
IS VERY DIFFICULT.
- IS DIFFICULT, EXACTLY.
AND I'M NOT CHALLENGING
YOUR, UM, BEING A PARENT.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOM.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT
AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.
AND, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,
THINGS WERE HEATED.
AND WE SAID THINGS
WE DIDN'T MEAN, SO...
MOVING ON. MAYBE YOU COULD
APOLOGIZE TO MY SISTER.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!
I MEAN, LITERALLY,
I MET HER THAT NIGHT,
LIKE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE.
- IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT,
YOU'VE GOT TO APOLOGIZE.
- SHE WANTS TO.
- OKAY, WELL, THEN.
SEE IF KIM WILL ACCEPT IT.
I MEAN, THAT'S A LOW BLOW.
- I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S...
YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SHE SAT THERE AND SHE GOES,
"I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."
I'D NEVER MET HER BEFORE.
- I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM.
- [laughs]
- I JUST DON'T THINK PEOPLE SAY
THAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
AND THEN IT GOT...
- SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO BE ON YOUR TEAM.
- SHE WANTED CAMILLE, AND SHE
WAS KIND OF JOKING LIKE THAT.
THAT WAS RUDE WHEN SHE SAID
THAT, I-I-I ADMIT.
- ALL RIGHT, JUST TO HAVE THAT
SAID, IT WASN'T COMFORTABLE.
- I GET THAT, I GET THAT.
- WELL, THEN APOLOGIZE TO KIM
AND THEN SORT IT OUT.
- I JUST... I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
I DON'T KNOW THAT
I CAN DO THAT TODAY.
- EXACTLY, THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE SAYING,
YOU SHOULDN'T SAY
THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT HER
WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER.
- IT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT.
- WE DON'T NEED TO KEEP GOING
BACK OVER AND OVER THAT AGAIN.
SO... IT'S... LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
OKAY?
OKAY. - ALL RIGHTY THEN.
- I CAN'T WIN.
I-I CAN'T WIN. EVEN THOUGH
I'M SITTING HERE SAYING SORRY,
SHE'S STILL
KIND OF ATTACKING ME,
WHEN I FELT LIKE I WASN'T
A HUNDRED PERCENT WRONG.
- SHE'S CRYING.
- I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T EVEN WANNA...
- OH, MY GOD, KIM.
- SHE'S AN ACTRESS, I THINK.
SHE JUST WANTS TO BE.
DID YOU SEE HOW SHE WENT
FROM BEING NASTY
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...
[fake crying]
"MY BABIES." - [laughs]
WELL, SHE MIGHT COME APOLOGIZE
TO YOU, SO BE PREPARED.
NOW HOW'S THAT MASSAGE FEELING?
[laughs]
YOU FEEL RELAXED?
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, THEN, ALL
I CAN TELL YOU IS
SHE'LL END UP
WITH TWO BROKEN LEGS.
- [laughs] OH, MY GOD.
YOU WANNA SWIM WITH THE FISHES?
YOU WANNA PLAY
WITH THE BIG GIRLS?
- THANK YOU, HONEY, FOR DOING
THAT. THAT... THAT WAS...
- YOU WANNA PLAY
WITH THE BIG GIRLS?
GO AHEAD.
[laughter]
- OH, MY LORD.
I WANTED TO TRY
TO BE THE PEACEKEEPER.
BUT ULTIMATELY IT'S UP TO THEM
TO TRY TO... TO WORK IT OUT.
- WELL, I THINK THAT YOU
AND KYLE WERE ABLE TO RESOLVE
THAT YOU EACH HAD A PART IN... IN
SAYING THINGS YOU DIDN'T MEAN.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M... I'M THE ONE.
EVERYONE'S SAYING IT'S MY FAULT.
AND I JUST... [sighs]
IT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY
FOR THEM TO BE THAT WAY TO ME,
JUST BECAUSE I DID
SOMETHING WRONG, TOO.
- WELL...
I-I MEAN, I DO THINK,
AT SOME POINT,
YOU'VE GOTTA SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT THE CRYSTAL METH THING.
'CAUSE THAT WAS, LIKE...
REALLY OVER THE TOP.
- WAS IT?
I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN...
I'M GONNA GO.
I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT.
I NEED TO DO THINGS.
- OKAY.
- I DON'T PLAN ON
BRINGING KIM UP TO KYLE
OR ANY OF THE GIRLS AGAIN.
BECAUSE... THERE'S NO POINT.
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE.
I... I'M WASHING MY HANDS
OF THAT WHOLE SITUATION.
IT'S REALLY HARD 'CAUSE
NO ONE SEEMS TO HAVE MY SIDE.
NO ONE HAS MY BACK,
NO ONE'S SAYING...
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
- OH, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE.
YOU DIDN'T...
NO ONE IS ON MY SIDE.
AND I-I DEFINITELY HAVE
A VALID POINT OF THE WAY
I WAS TREATED THAT NIGHT.
IT WAS NOT GOOD.
AND I-I LOST IT, I LOST IT.
AND I WAS WRONG, BUT I DON'T...
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, THE PROBLEM IS,
IS YOU HAVE TO SEE BOTH SIDES.
YOU KNOW? THAT'S...
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- THERE'S YOUR STORY,
THERE'S HER STORY,
AND THERE'S THE TRUTH.
- RIGHT.
- SO MAYBE IT'S TOO SOON FOR
YOU, MAYBE IT'S SOON FOR HER.
BUT... ANYWAY.
- WELL, IT WORKS BETTER.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, OKAY.
- THANKS.
- SO... BUT YOU LOOK GOOD.
- WELL, THANKS. THANKS.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, SO I'LL
TALK, WE'LL TALK, AND... OKAY?
- YEAH, I'LL TEXT YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- COMING UP:
- DON'T LET THE DOOR
HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.
[laughs]
- WHOO! COME IN, GIRLS.
COME INTO THE BABY POOL.
YOU KNOW, GIRLS BECOME WOMEN.
AND WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES
DIFFICULT.
AND IT COMES WITH
ALL THEIR DRAMA.
SO HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY
TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM NOW
IS SOMETHING THAT
I REALLY ENJOY.
- I'M A MERMAID!
- ARE YOU A MERMAID?
- YEAH.
- SHOW ME.
- I'M A MERMAID.
- YOU LOOK LIKE A MERMAID.
HERE I COME.
SPENDING TIME WITH THE FAMILY
AND FAMILY TIME,
I THINK IS SO IMPORTANT.
UH, HOPEFULLY THE TIME
THAT WE SPEND WITH THEM NOW
WILL HELP OFFSET, YOU KNOW,
SOME CRANKY TEENAGERS
IN THE... LATER DOWN THE ROAD.
- [laughs]
- GAHHH!
- AHH, YOU HURT MY EYES.
- I'M SORRY.
- WATER EYES.
- [laughs]
- HOW WAS IT, KIM?
- LIKE, REALLY GOOD.
- HOW CAN YOU STAY RELAXED?
- I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T LET PEOPLE THAT
DON'T MATTER BOTHER ME.
- YOU WERE SHAKING
AND CRYING AT ONE...
- BECAUSE I WAS THINKING,
IF ONE OF YOU HAD DONE IT,
I WOULD WANT AN APOLOGY
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS.
YOU GUYS ALL MATTER TO ME.
AND THAT'S WHEN
I STARTED TO CRY.
BUT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MATTER
TO ME, THAT'S LIKE A SORE
OR A THING THAT NEEDS
TO BE CUT OFF THE BODY,
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
THEY DON'T...
THEY DON'T BOTHER ME.
BUT I GOT UPSET WHEN I LOOKED
AT ALL OF YOU GUYS.
IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME.
- YOU WERE GETTING MAD AT ME
FOR GOING OUT
TO EVEN HEAR
WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY.
- [chuckles] I-I'M DISAPPOINTED.
- WELL, IT WASN'T
ABOUT BRANDI, KIM,
IT WAS ABOUT ADRIENNE.
SHE WAS ASKING ME.
- BUT SHE HAD TO GO OUT.
ADRIENNE...
- NO, SHE DIDN'T.
- OF COURSE SHE DID.
SHE COULDN'T TELL HER
TO BUGGER OFF.
- I WAS PROTECTING YOU.
- I... AND I WAS PROTECTING YOU,
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- AND THEN SHE WENT
AFTER ME IN THAT HORRIBLE WAY.
- WASN'T LIKE WE WERE
TOTALLY INNOCENT THAT NIGHT.
LET'S BE HONEST.
- WHA... SHE... WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- I'M JUST SAYING, IT WASN'T
LIKE WE WERE, LIKE,
SITTING THERE LIKE
TWO LITTLE ANGELS.
WE FOUGHT BACK.
- I WAS ON THE RECEIVING END OF
KYLE'S SLINGS AND ARROWS
LAST YEAR,
SO I COULD EMPATHIZE
WITH BRANDI.
- WELL, THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING OFF.
NOBODY JUST FLIES OFF
THE HANDLE LIKE THAT.
FOR NO REASON.
- I COULD TELL YOU
WHAT HER PROBLEM IS.
SHE HAS NO FILTER.
SHE JUST SAYS WHAT
SHE WANTS TO SAY.
AND THEN SHE THINKS
ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS, LIKE,
"I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT."
- YOU KNOW WHAT, ADRIENNE?
THAT JUST WON'T WORK WITH ME.
- THAT'S THE WAY SHE IS,
THAT'S HER PERSONALITY.
- SO SOMEBODY SAYS... THE FIRST
THING SHE SAID WAS
"BRING IT ON, BITCH."
IS THAT WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU?
- I THINK EVERYTHING'S A BLUR.
- SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL.
- SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL.
- SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT OUT THERE,
THE BIG TEARS AND EVERYTHING.
I'M CONFUSED, I'M CONFUSED.
- BIG TEARS?
[fake sniffling] THAT'S AN ACT.
- KIM AND KYLE WERE MEAN TO ME.
I KNOW I'M A GOOD PERSON.
AND IF THEY DON'T WANT
TO SEE THAT SIDE OF ME,
THEN THEY CAN [bleep] OFF.
- - NOBODY LOOKS AND JUST...
"BRING IT ON, B-I-T-C-H."
YOU DON'T JUST LOOK,
LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN...
AND SUDDENLY... AND JUST... AND
THEN TO GO AFTER ME AFTERWARDS.
- NO, NO.
WHY? THAT'S EXACTLY WHY...
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY... HELLO.
[overlapping chatter, laughter]
- I WANT TO MOVE ON...
WITHOUT BRANDI. [laughs]
- DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU
ON THE WAY OUT.
[laughs] SORRY, BUT YOU KNOW...
- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS:
- HAPPY ENGAGEMENT, DARLING.
- OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SUCH
AN EXCITING NIGHT.
- A SMALL PARTY.
- OH, GOD, YOU'RE NOT... OH, NO!
[cheering]
- SO DID YOU READ
THE BIG STORY TODAY?
THEY LINK IT TO LISA.
WE'LL JUST SERVE THEM
WITH A LAWSUIT.
- THIS IS VERY AWKWARD.
AM I NEXT?
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
EVERYBODY ELSE FINDING OUT
ABOUT US?
WE WERE PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT KEEPING THAT A SECRET,
HAVEN'T WE?
- YOU HAVEN'T MET
MY SISTERS YET.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,