The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Game Night Gone Wild! - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- AND HE'S GETTING NAKED.

NO, JAKEY!

- BRANDI'S SON
GETS OUT OF THE POOL,

TAKES OFF HIS CLOTHES,

AND JUST PEES ON THE GRASS.

- AT LEAST IT'S NOT IN THE POOL.

- READY, TEAM ONE,
KYLE, KIM, BRANDI.

- I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM.

- [laughs]

IT'S NOT CUTE WHEN YOU'RE
RUNNING AROUND



LIKE A LITTLE HO.

- COLOR ME SLUT.

KIM WAS A DISASTER.

SHE WAS IN THE BATHROOM,

AND THEN TEN MINUTES LATER
IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN.

AND AGAIN.

- KIM?
- AND AGAIN.

I'VE HAD MY FAIR SHARE
OF INTERACTION

WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE ON DRUGS.

I KNOW WHAT I KNOW.

HOW MANY TIMES HAS SHE BEEN
IN THE BATHROOM TONIGHT?

YOU SISTER IS WASTED
OUT OF HER [bleep] MIND.

- YOU HAVE NO CLUE
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
- YOU ARE A GOD DAMN BITCH.



- BRING IT, BITCH.

[upbeat music]

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,

BUT I'M ONE-OF-A-KIND.

- I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY

IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO LOOK FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

♪♪ ♪♪

- YOU ARE PATHETIC, OKAY?

- ALL RIGHT, TIME-OUT.

- OH, WAIT,
NOW YOU'RE THE MOTHER?

"TIME-OUT."

- I AM A MOTHER. I AM A MOM.

- HI, CAMILLE.
- SHE DOES HAVE TWO SONS,

WHO, BY THE WAY,
PEED ON THE GRASS,

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN
APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.

- DON'T TALK ABOUT
MY [bleep] CHILDREN.

- I GET THAT KIDS DO THAT.

- DON'T [bleep] TALK...
- BUT YOU'RE LIKE, OH...

- WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
- WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

- I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE CORRECT HIM.

- KIDS DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

THEIR MOTHERS DO.

IF I HAD A SON,
AND I'M SURE IT'S NATURAL

FOR THEM TO WHIP OUT THEIR
PENIS AT A PARTY,

THEN MAYBE I WOULD SAY,

"HONEY, YOU SHOULDN'T
DO THAT AT A PARTY."

I'M SORRY, CAMILLE HAS A SON.

WOULD YOU NOT SAY,

"YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT
AT A PARTY"?

- I WOULD.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, I REALLY
DON'T THINK IT'S A BAD THING.

- WELL, I'M SURE
FROM WHERE YOU'RE FROM,

IT'S NOT.

- OH, WOW.
- [laughs]

- KYLE CAN BE A BITCH.
SHE CAN BE TOUGH.

- I DON'T HAVE 85 NANNIES...

- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE NOT
CAPABLE OF MUCH MORE.

- SHE DOESN'T HAVE 85 NANNIES.

- DID YOU SAY I'M NOT CAPABLE?

- I DON'T HAVE ANY NANNIES.

- REALLY, DON'T GO THAT ROUTE.
- I KNOW.

TRUST ME, DON'T GO THERE.

- I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT THE CHILD.

THE CHILD DOESN'T
KNOW ANY BETTER.

THEY'RE YOUNG.

BUT TO SIT THERE AND SAY,

"OH, HE HAS SO MUCH
RESPECT FOR THE POOL."

- WHAT SHOULD I DO?

SHOULD I JUMP UP AND GO
CATCH HIS PEE

WITH MY [bleep] HANDS?

SERIOUSLY?

YOUR SISTER'S BEEN IN THE
BATHROOM SINCE SHE GOT HERE.

SHE'S WASTED. [bleep] YOU!

- SHE'S NOT WASTED.
- YES, SHE IS!

- SHE WAS DOING HER MAKEUP.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?

SHE'S [bleep] CRACKED OUT
OF HER MIND.

- NO, SHE'S NOT.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT.

- YOU WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY CHILDREN.

- I HAVEN'T BEEN IN
THE BATHROOM ONE TIME ALONE.

- YOU'RE TRASHY,
AND YOU'RE CLASSLESS.

- SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE A BITCH.

[bleep] OFF.

- THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

IT'S BEYOND WHAT ANYONE SHOULD
EVER SAY TO ONE ANOTHER.

- NO ONE INSULTS MY CHILDREN.
YOU CAN [bleep] OFF.

- YOU INSULTED MY SISTER.
YOU CAN [bleep] OFF.

- YOUR SISTER INSULTED
ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SHE WAS SITTING THERE SAYING,
"I DON'T LIKE HER.

I'M ON HER TEAM?
I DON'T LIKE HER."

OKAY, SO I'M SUPPOSED
TO HEAR THAT

AND JUST GO LIKE IT'S GREAT?

ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?

- WELL, I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT.

IF YOU ATTACK MY SISTER,

DON'T EXPECT ME
NOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

- YOU CALLED HER A BITCH.

- SHE WAS BEING A BITCH.

HELLO.

- SHE'S NOT A BITCH.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN, YOU
KNOW WHAT, JUDGMENT MADE.

YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND,

AND WE'RE ALL TRAILER PARK
COMPARED TO YOU.

- NO, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
IN HERE LIKE THAT.

- ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, AT LEAST
I DON'T DO CRYSTAL METH

IN THE BATHROOM
ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT...

- BRANDI, LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- WALK THE [bleep] AWAY.

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BABIES.

I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.

- YOU DO NOT WANT
TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.

YEAH, YOU DO NOT WANNA GO THERE.

MY SISTER,

DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT HER
LIKE THAT AGAIN.

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER.

YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER.

- NO, I DIDN'T.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I DIDN'T MEET HER,

AND SHE INSULTED ME FROM
THE SECOND SHE WALKED IN.

DO NOT PUT YOUR [bleep]
FINGER IN MY FACE.

- YOU'RE GONNA GET MY [bleep]
FINGER IN YOUR FACE TOO.

- ALL RIGHT, OKAY, OKAY.

- DON'T YOU [bleep] THREATEN ME.

- LISTEN, LISTEN, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO! STOP IT!

ENOUGH! - YOU'RE A PIG.

- OKAY!
- YOU'RE A SLUT PIG.

- NO ONE IS TOUCHING ANYONE
IN THIS HOUSE.

NO ONE IS TOUCHING ANYONE.

THERE WILL BE NO TOUCHING.

NO ONE IS HURTING ANYONE
IN THIS HOUSE.

NO ONE IS GONNA LAY
A FINGER ON EACH OTHER.

I WILL NOT HAVE IT.

I WILL NOT HAVE THAT.

- HOW DARE YOU?

- IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.

THEY'RE GONNA, WHAT, BEAT EACH
OTHER UP AT THIS POINT?

LIKE THEY WERE GONNA HAVE
SOME BARROOM BRAWL.

- LISTEN, WE'RE FROM
BEVERLY HILLS.

WE LIVE OUR LIFE,
WE DO OUR THING.

WE DON'T... YOU KNOW.

- NO, I'M NOT.
I'M FROM THE TRAILER.

DON'T FORGET.

- WE KNOW.

- I REALLY AM GOING.

- OH, GOOD.

PLEASE.

- I COULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER,
BUT I WANTED

TO BE THE GROWN-UP,
TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON,

AND THEN I FAILED.

- ALL RIGHT,
SO THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

GAME NIGHT JUST SUCKS.

- I'M SORRY...
- DON'T EVEN WORRY.

COME HERE, COME HERE.
- NO, NO, I'M GOOD.

I JUST NEED MY CRUTCHES.

- WHERE ARE THEY?
- I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING.
- I'LL GET THEM.

- I'D LOVE
TO GRAB HER BY THE HAIR

AND SWING HER AROUND THE ROOM.

- I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A HUG.

SHE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT.

YOU DID NOT DESERVE THAT.
- YOU DID NOT.

- THEY INSULTED ME
FROM THE SECOND THEY...

"I DON'T LIKE MY TEAM."
LIKE, REALLY?

- LISTEN, YOU DID... YOU DID...

YOU DID START A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THE BATHROOM.

- I WANNA GO.
- I DON'T BLAME YOU.

- THAT WAS THE BIGGEST
INSULT I'VE EVER HAD.

- SHE'S NEVER EVEN MET YOU.
WHO EVEN CARES?

SHE MEANS NOTHING.
SHE'S AN IDIOT.

- SHE'S A WHORE.

- I WANT TO HOBBLE OFF.

- I'M GONNA GET YOUR CRUTCHES.
- PERFECT.

- BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I'M SORRY YOU HAD A BAD NIGHT.

WHERE'S THE CRUTCHES? - OH.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

- KIM, WHERE ARE THE CRUTCHES?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- [laughs]

- WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH HER CRUTCHES?

YOU HID HER CRUTCHES?

- THE GIRL HAS SHOWN HER COLORS.

I DON'T NEED PEOPLE
LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE.

NO THANK YOU.

- ARE THE CRUTCHES IN HERE?

I'VE BEEN LOOKING...
I'M, LIKE, TRYING TO FIND THEM.

OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE BEHIND YOUR CHAIR.

- OH, THANK YOU.

- NO, I'LL GET 'EM,
I'LL GET 'EM.

EVERYBODY'S INTENSE.

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

- NO, I... WHEN YOU INSULT
MY CHILDREN,

I TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

DO NOT INSULT MY CHILDREN,
OTHERWISE WE'LL BE FINE.

YOU HAVE A LITTLE BOY,
YOU GET IT.

- I HAVE A... NO, LISTEN,
MY LITTLE BOY IS...

- IT'D BE WORSE IF HE'D PEED
IN THE POOL, SERIOUSLY.

- LISTEN, I HAVE
A LITTLE BOY TOO.

HE'S NOT PERFECT.

- THAT WAS TOO FAR.

THE CRYSTAL METH LINE
WAS WAY TOO FAR.

WAY. IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

- HOW CAN SHE JUST BRING
THAT OUT OF THIN AIR?

- WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
WE JUST MET HER.

- JUST MET THIS GIRL.
- MM-HMM.

- EVERYONE HAS THEIR CRAP.
- YEP.

- EVERYBODY'S GOT
TO SHARE IT, OKAY?

THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKS.

- I'M NOT SAYING I'M PERFECT.

- KIM.
- DOLL FACE.

- PAM.
- PAMELA.

LOVE YOU.

- THANK YOU FOR COMING.

- TAYLOR, CAN YOU GRAB
THE DOOR FOR ME?

I'M SORRY.

- YEAH.
- THANK YOU.

GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I NEVER WANT TO SEE THESE PEOPLE

EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN.

- [laughs]

LISTEN, KIM, I LIKE YOU.

DO YOU WANNA DO, LIKE,
A HEALTHY, LIKE,

SAFE THING, LIKE, ALL OF US,
A HEALTHY, SAFE, VAY-CAY?

LET'S DO IT. - ALL RIGHT.

- I WANT IT. I'D LOVE IT.

IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN. OKAY?

I FEEL DANA SO DESPERATELY
WANTS TO BE A PART

OF THIS CIRCLE OF FRIENDS.

- GET IN THE GOSH DARN CAR
AND GO HOME.

- LISTEN, HONESTLY,
YOU GUYS, HERE'S THE THING.

- THAT WAS REALLY
UNCOMFORTABLE, GUYS.

THAT WAS SO...

- OH, WELL, NOW YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU PUT US THROUGH LAST YEAR.

- [laughs]
- HERE'S THE DEAL.

- THAT WAS TOO MUCH.
- HERE'S THE THING.

- THAT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

SHE'S JOKING.

SHE KNOWS I'M JOKING.

- I KNOW, I'M JUST CLARIFYING.

- YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP...

I'M JUST GONNA GO GET IN MY CAR

AND JUST TELL HER
TO GET OUT OF MY WAY.

LOVE YOU.

- KIM, BE CAREFUL.

I LOVE KIM.

- I KNOW THAT KIM
WAS NOT ON CRYSTAL METH,

BUT I DO WORRY ABOUT KIM THOUGH

BECAUSE SHE DEFINITELY SEEMS
DISORIENTED TO ME.

- EVERYONE'S BACK INSIDE, RIGHT?

- KYLE'S TALKING TO DANA.
- OKAY, GOOD.

- THAT WAS JUST
REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

AFTER WHAT I WENT THROUGH
LAST YEAR WITH, YOU KNOW,

MY PERSONAL LIFE,
THAT WAS JUST...

- IT'S TOO MUCH.

SHE BROUGHT UP
THE SLUT THING AGAIN TONIGHT.

I'M LIKE,
"NOBODY'S CALLING YOU THAT,

AND I COULD CARE LESS."

I DO FEEL FOR BRANDI.

I DON'T LIKE THE FACT

THAT SHE SAYS THINGS
ABOUT HERSELF LIKE,

"I'M A SLUT."

SHE NEEDS TO GET TO THE ROOT
OF WHATEVER IT IS

THAT SHE HATES SO MUCH
ABOUT HERSELF

THAT SHE WOULD SAY
THINGS LIKE THAT.

SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS
DATING THREE GUYS,

AND I THOUGHT, OKAY, GOOD.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED,

THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

- I JUST... I HAVEN'T
DONE THAT MYSELF

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THREE GUYS
THAT LIKE ME OUT THERE.

- HONEY.
- I'M ALL BY MYSELF.

- YOU HAVE 3 MILLION MEN
THAT LIKE YOU.

- NO, NOBODY LIKES ME.

- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I LOVE KIM JUST THE WAY SHE IS.

LET'S DO IT. LET'S GO.

LET'S GO ON OUR JOURNEY.

LET'S JUST GO.

- DANA IS BENDING
OVER BACKWARDS TO FIT IN.

- WE'RE TOGETHER FOREVER.

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE ABOUT.

ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

EVERYBODY.

- WHO?

- YOU. YOU AND YOUR SISTER.

WE'RE ALWAYS FOREVER.

THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

- COMING UP...

- BEVERLY HILLS, DARLING,
SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE.

- OH, MY GOD.

- LISA!
- HELLO, DARLING.

IN HERE.

- OUT HERE.

- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, GUYS.

- EVERYTHING GOOD?
- YEAH.

- LOOK AT OUR TOPS.
WE'RE LIKE TWINS.

WE PLANNED THIS.
- WE PLANNED THIS.

- HOW ARE YOU?
- I DROPPED MY FLOWER.

I WAS GONNA DO "HE LOVES ME,
HE LOVES ME NOT."

- OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAYING,

"LESBIAN, LESBIAN NOT."

- LESBIAN, LESBIAN NOT?

- GAME NIGHT, I HEARD
IT WAS A CATASTROPHE.

OKAY, SLOWLY.
LET'S DO IT SLOWLY.

- OKAY, WELL,
WE WENT TO DANA'S HOUSE.

WHEN I GOT THERE,
BRANDI WAS ALREADY THERE.

SO CUT TO THE GAMES.

SO THEY SPLIT US UP INTO GROUPS.

AND THEN KIM SAYS,
"I DON'T LIKE BRANDI.

I DON'T WANT HER ON OUR TEAM."

- NOT LIKING HER BECAUSE
OF WHAT YOU...

- I DON'T KNOW,
JUST THINGS SHE'S HEARD.

JUST HEARING THE THINGS
ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

SLASHING THE EX-HUSBAND'S TIRES.

- THAT LITTLE THING.
- AND I DID TELL HER

ABOUT HER SON GOING
TO THE BATHROOM

ON THE GRASS AT YOUR PARTY,

WHICH I REALLY WANT
TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SON.

- FOR GOD'S SAKE,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NOW IF IT WAS MAX,

I WOULD YANK HIM
BY THE THING AND SAY...

- YOU'D YANK ON HIS WILLY.
- EXACTLY.

- WHEN BRANDI'S SON
PEED ON MY LAWN,

I WAS CERTAINLY NOT UPSET

BECAUSE I HAVE
THREE LITTLE BOYS,

AND I GUARANTEE YOU
AT SOME POINT

THEY WOULD PROBABLY
DO THE SAME THING.

- WELL, ANYWAY, SO WE WENT
THERE FOR GAME NIGHT,

AND YOU HAD TO STAND UP
AND YOU'D GIVE HINTS

TO SEE IF THE PERSON
CAN GUESS THE CELEBRITY.

SO BRANDI STANDS UP
AND SHE SAYS,

"A FAMOUS BLACK LEADER."

- MARTIN LUTHER KING.

- AND THEN SHE SAYS,
"NOT MARTIN LUTHER KING."

AND THEN SHE STARTS GIVING
SOME OTHER HINTS.

GUESS WHO IT WAS. - WHO?

- WINSTON CHURCHILL.

- [laughs]
- SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT.

- [laughs]

- OH, SHE DID NOT.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- HE WAS A VERY FAMOUS
BLACK MAN.

ON SUNDAY YOU GO TO? - CHURCH?

- YEAH, SO THAT'S
HIS LAST NAME, PART OF IT.

FIRST NAME,
HE'S A CIGARETTE SMOKER.

- [laughs]
- WINSTON CHURCHILL.

- I'M SORRY I MISSED IT.

I MEAN, BUT IF I'D GONE
I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE FELT

I WAS, LIKE, DROWNING
IN A BIMBO SOUP.

- SO WE FINISH THE GAME,

AND I SAID SOMETHING LIKE, UM,

"WHY DON'T WE PLAY
THE I.Q. GAME?"

AND THEN I GO, "YOU FIRST."

- OH, NO.
- WELL...

AND THEN SHE GOES,

"BRING IT ON, BITCH."

- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I SWEAR TO GOD.

- BRING IT ON, BITCH.

THEN SHE SAYS TO MY SISTER,

"YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM
DOING CRYSTAL METH ALL NIGHT."

- WHAT?
- LIKE, CRYSTAL METH?

- OH, THAT'S TOTALLY UNCOOL.
- WHAT IS CRYSTAL METH?

I'M LIKE, IS THAT WHAT
YOU PUT IN YOUR HYBRID CAR?

I DON'T... WHAT...
I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS?

- I THINK KYLE COULD BE
IN DENIAL A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT HER SISTER.

I HOPE THAT KIM

IS IN A GOOD PLACE RIGHT NOW.

HOWEVER, SOMETIMES HER BEHAVIOR

CAN BE A LITTLE ERRATIC.

BRANDI CALLED ME.

SHE SAID IT WAS HORRIBLE.

ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE,
THAT THEY ATTACKED HER.

AND I SAID,
"WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING

MAYBE YOU NEED
TO TALK TO KYLE ABOUT."

- WHAT'S ATTACKING BY SAYING,
YOU SHOULD HAVE CORRECTED

YOUR SON GOING
TO THE BATHROOM ON THE GRASS?

OR SAYING TO SOMEONE,

YOU'VE BEEN DOING CRYSTAL METH
WHEN THEY'VE NEVER MET THEM?

THAT IS DISGUSTING.

- I'M SURE THAT KIM AND KYLE

WERE PUSHING A LITTLE BIT
OF BRANDI'S BUTTONS.

THERE WAS MULTIPLE
PEOPLE AT FAULT.

SO GIVE BRANDI...
YOU KNOW, GIVE HER A BREAK.

- SO KIM HEARD HER SAY
THE CRYSTAL METH COMMENT?

- YES.

- WE KNOW KIM'S HAD HER ISSUES,

BUT THAT IS A LOW BLOW.

WOULDN'T TAKE IT.

COUNTERATTACK ABSOLUTELY
WELL-DESERVED.

WHAT A BITCH.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

- SHORT OF ANYBODY
KILLING EACH OTHER

OR PHYSICALLY HURTING...

- ARE YOU GOING TO
CAMILLE'S CHARITY EVENT OR NOT?

- YEAH, WHY, IS SHE GOING TOO?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- I THINK SHE WAS INVITED
TO THAT TOO.

- I CANNOT GO INTO
WORLD WAR BLOODY THREE

WITH WINSTON CHURCHILL.

- WINSTON CHURCHILL.

WITH WINSTON CHURCHILL'S FRIEND.

- OH, GOD.
- OH, MY GOSH.

- HI, YOU.

PART OF ME EMPATHIZES
WITH BRANDI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

YOUR HAIR LOOKS PRETTY
LIKE THAT.

- OH, THANKS.

IT'S CALLED "DIRTY."

- OH. DIRTY WORKS FOR YOU.

- THANK YOU.

- I HAVE A TENDENCY TO SEE
PEOPLE'S WEAKNESSES

AND FEEL FOR THEM FOR THOSE

BECAUSE THAT'S A PLACE
THAT I COME FROM.

I'M IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING.

- BEEN THERE.

- HOW DID IT WORK OUT FOR YOU?

- I'M DIVORCED.

- YEAH, EXACTLY.

- CAN I BRING YOU
ANYTHING TO DRINK TO START?

- WHAT ARE YOU GETTING,
A LATTE OR...

- YEAH, I'M GONNA GET
A VANILLA CAPPUCCINO, NONFAT.

- OKAY.

- THE CHOPPED SALAD,

CAN I HAVE THAT WITH
MOZZARELLA CHEESE

INSTEAD OF SWISS?

- YEAH, OF COURSE.

AND WOULD YOU LIKE
SALAMI OR TURKEY?

- SALAMI, PLEASE.
AND DO YOU HAVE PEPERONCINIS?

- THE LITTLE CORNICHONS

IS THE CLOSEST THING WE HAVE.

- CAN YOU ADD A FEW
OF THOSE ON THE SIDE?

- SURE.
- THANK YOU.

AND A SIDE OF FRENCH FRIES.
- SURE.

- OKAY, AND I'LL HAVE, UM,

A LATTE WITH AN EXTRA SHOT
AND WHOLE MILK.

- ABSOLUTELY.
- OKAY, THANK YOU.

- I'VE HAD THE LONGEST WEEKEND.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP.

HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EAT
THAT MUCH.

AFTER GAME NIGHT,
I WAS SO UPSET.

I STILL DON'T REALLY KNOW

EXACTLY HOW IT GOT
TO THAT LEVEL.

LIKE, IT JUST GOT REALLY
UGLY REALLY FAST.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW
I CROSSED THE LINE.

I REGRET IT.

I GOT REALLY MAD,

AND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING
ABOUT THE WAY I PARENT

OR MY CHILD, THE GLOVES COME OFF

AND I LOSE MY MIND.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WANT
TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT

BECAUSE I JUST FEEL LIKE

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU CAN
GO BACK FROM THAT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- I REALLY HATE IT
THAT YOU GUYS GOT OFF

ON SUCH A BAD FOOT.

I FEEL LIKE THE KIM THING
COULD HAPPEN

BECAUSE SHE JUST SAYS THINGS.

- BUT I'M SITTING IN A CHAIR
WITH A CAST ON,

AND THEY BOTH COME OVER TO ME.

I'M NOT SAYING I'M PERFECTLY
INNOCENT IN ALL THIS.

I'M JUST SAYING I DIDN'T
EXPECT IT TO BE THAT WAY.

I WANTED TO COME AWAY
WITH, LIKE,

GETTING TO KNOW YOU GUYS BETTER.

- RIGHT.

TRUTH BE KNOWN, I MEAN,

KIM HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH
A LOT OF PANIC ATTACKS

AND A LOT OF ANXIETY,

AND I THINK THAT KIM
WAS PROBABLY TAKING

SOME SORT OF ANXIETY MEDICATION.

BUT THEN TO ACCUSE HER
OF TAKING CRYSTAL METH

WAS A LITTLE HARSH.

- SHE MADE EXCUSES FOR KIM.

DOESN'T FLY WITH ME.
I KNOW BETTER.

I KNOW WHAT'S UP.
THERE'S A PROBLEM.

- YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE FIRST
GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE,

I THINK THAT EVERYONE NEEDS
TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR,

AND IT JUST STARTED OFF
SO BADLY.

YOU MAY HAVE TO, YOU KNOW,
BE OPEN TO APOLOGIZING.

WHAT DO YOU FEEL
LIKE YOU SHOULD DO?

LET ME ASK YOU THAT.

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE WE COULD GO FROM...

FROM WHERE WE ARE.

- I THINK TALKING TO KYLE
IS GONNA BE

THE ONLY WAY TO WORK THROUGH IT.

AND I KNOW IT'S NOT
GONNA BE PLEASANT.

- OH, GOD.

- SOPHIA!

OKAY, GET YOUR LUGGAGE.

I'M GONNA FALL
DOWN THESE STAIRS.

I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.

KIM AND I ARE GOING
TO PALM DESERT

WITH ALL OF OUR KIDS.

IT'S THE FIRST TIME
WE'VE BEEN AWAY TOGETHER

SINCE OUR LIMO INCIDENT.

I'M SO SICK OF YOUR CRAP.
EVERYBODY IS.

EVERYBODY'S SICK
OF WHAT YOU PUT US THROUGH.

- OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING.

- DEFINITELY HAVE MORE WORK
TO DO IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

LET'S GO.

EVERYONE GO
TO THE BATHROOM ALREADY?

- YEAH.
- YES.

- YES, MOTHER.

DON'T WORRY, WE DID.

- REAL FUNNY.

KIM LIKES TO GET HER JABS IN

ABOUT HOW I'M NOT HER MOM,

WHICH HURTS MY FEELINGS
A LITTLE BIT

SINCE I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD
NOT TO BE LIKE THAT.

I GUESS SHE HASN'T NOTICED.

- OH, MY GOSH, YOU WANNA
HEAR SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY?

MY FRIEND ASKED ME
THE OTHER DAY,

"DO YOU HAVE ANY BREATH SPRAY?"

- THEY STILL MAKE THAT STUFF?

- AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO.

I JUST PICKED SOME UP.
IT'S REALLY WEIRD

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T
SEEN ANY IN SO LONG.

SO I GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE GOES,

"IS THIS A SICK JOKE?

THIS IS AIR-SCENT.

AIR DEODORIZER.
- DID HE PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH?

- I'VE BEEN USING IT
IN MY MOUTH FOR A WEEK.

- KIM.

- AFTER A WEEK,

NOBODY COMPLAINED
ABOUT MY BREATH.

HA HA!

OH, HERE'S THE BREATH SPRAY.

- DON'T GIVE THAT...

KIM, YOU WERE SPRAYING THIS
IN YOUR MOUTH?

- YES.

- WELL, I HAVE TO ADMIT,
THIS DOES LOOK LIKE...

- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
WAS BREATH SPRAY.

- LET ME SEE.
- SHUT UP.

- BUT THE SECOND
YOU PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH,

YOU WOULD KNOW
IT WASN'T BREATH SPRAY.

- WELL, I DIDN'T.

- WHY DIDN'T WHITNEY
RIDE WITH US?

- SHE HAD SCHOOLWORK.

- WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?

- IS IT 'CAUSE
OF YOUR LITTLE TIFF?

- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
- TELL US.

- [sighs]

- WHAT?

- IT'S NOT MY PLACE TO DISCUSS
MY GIRLS' ISSUES.

JUST LIKE I FEEL LIKE
SOME OF OUR STUFF

THAT SHE'S GONE AHEAD
AND TALKED ABOUT

SHOULD HAVE REMAINED
BETWEEN SHE AND I.

- I MEAN, FIGHTING WITH
A SISTER IS RIDICULOUS.

[laughs]

- OH, MY GOSH.

YOU'VE GOT NERVE.

- SO DO YOU.

- KEEP IT UP, SIS.

YOU KNOW, I JUST...
I TOLD MY GIRLS YESTERDAY

WHEN THEY WERE
HAVING THEIR MOMENT,

I SAID, "I GET IT, YOU KNOW?"

- I SO GET IT.

- DO YOU?

- YEAH, I DO, I DO.

- ARE YOU SURE? OKAY.

- COMING UP...

- I'M NOT GONNA SAY
I TOLD YOU SO,

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

- BUT YOU DO.

- YAY, WE'RE HERE!

WHOO!

- I MISS GRANDMA.

- WHENEVER WE'RE AT
THE HOUSE IN PALM DESERT,

ALL OF US TEND
TO MISS MY MOM A LOT MORE

THAN IF WE WERE ANYWHERE ELSE.

I CAN REALLY FEEL
MY MOM'S ENERGY THERE,

AND SO CAN KIM.

- HONEY, I'M HOME.

- HI, HONEY. DADDY'S HERE.

- HI, GUYS.

WHAT'S UP? - WOW, LOOK AT YOU.

SLICK.

- WHAT'S UP?

HI, GORGEOUS.

MWAH. - HI, HONEY.

- HI, MY LOVE.

WHAT'S UP? HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?

- IT WAS GOOD.

- KIM THREW OUT SOME ALLEGATIONS

IN THAT LIMO FIGHT REGARDING
THE HOUSE IN PALM DESERT.

- YOU STOLE MY GOD DAMN HOUSE!

- DID YOU HEAR
WHAT YOU JUST SAID, KIM?

ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR [bleep] MIND?

- KYLE AND I HAVE
NOT DISCUSSED THE FACT

THAT SHE TOOK THE HOUSE

BECAUSE I DIDN'T TALK
TO KYLE FOR MONTHS.

AND TWO,

WE'RE TRYING
TO REBUILD OUR FRIENDSHIP

AND OUR RELATIONSHIP.

IT'S HOVERING OVER ME.

IT'S NOT GOING AWAY.

OH, MY GOSH, DOESN'T
THIS BRING BACK MEMORIES?

- MY MOM LEFT
A NUMBER OF PROPERTIES

TO MY SISTERS AND ME.

THIS PARTICULAR HOUSE,
SHE LEFT TO THE THREE OF US,

AND I ENDED UP BUYING
MY TWO SISTERS OUT.

- I CAN REMEMBER
KIMBERLY COMING,

GETTING HOME AT THE END
OF THE DAY AFTER SCHOOL,

SHE'D GET IN HER GOLF CART.

THE DOGS WOULD GO WITH HER
AND FOLLOW HER,

AND SHE'D GO UP
AND DOWN THE GOLF COURSE.

I SAID TO KYLE,

"I'D LIKE TO TAKE OUT 20,000

OUT OF MY SHARE OF THE HOUSE."

SUCH MEMORIES HERE!

- WHEN KIM WANTED
TO BUY BACK IN AND I SAID NO,

SHE WAS REALLY UPSET ABOUT THAT.

- AND THEN I GO
TO GIVE THE MONEY BACK AND,

"WE DON'T WANT A PARTNER."

YOU DON'T WANT A PARTNER?

I LIVED IN THAT HOUSE.

I TOOK CARE OF MY MOTHER
IN THAT HOUSE.

IF THEY THINK I SOLD IT
FOR $20,000,

ARE THEY OKAY?

HELLO!

- WHAT WAS UP?
HOW WAS THE TRIP, GUYS?

WAS IT FUN? WAS IT A PARTY BUS?

- WELL, WE...
YEAH, WE PUT MUSIC ON,

AND WE WERE DANCING.

- NO BOXING MATCHES.
- NO, IT WAS FUN.

- THEY BOTH KNOW THAT
THERE'S DEFINITELY

SOME FRAGILITY THERE,

AND THEY BOTH HAVE TO WALK
A VERY FINE LINE.

- OKAY.

OH, MY GOD!

- SHE'S ALL ABOUT
THE COZINESS, HUH?

- SHE LIKES TO BE COZY.

- SHE LIKES THAT WORD TOO.

- AND THIS WAS HER GRANDMA'S
FAVORITE BLANKY.

- I HAVE GRANDMA'S RED ONE TOO.

- IT WASN'T ABOUT THE HOUSE
OR MONEY OR ANYTHING.

IT WAS THE SENTIMENTAL VALUE
OBVIOUSLY TO KIM.

AND I UNDERSTAND THAT.

BUT KIM KNOWS THAT HOUSE
IS OBVIOUSLY

AS MUCH HER HOME AS IT IS MINE.

100%.

- MWAH.

- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

- [laughing]

- JUST A LITTLE OVER THE TOP.

- I KNOW, I'M SCARED.

- OKAY.

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS USED
THIS WEDDING PLANNER,

KEVIN LEE MANY, MANY TIMES

AND ASSURES ME HE'S THE BEST.

SO HE'S COMING OVER
TO GIVE ME THE HEADS-UP

ON WHAT A BEVERLY HILLS
WEDDING COULD BE LIKE.

HELLO. - HELLO, LISA!

- HOW ARE YOU, DARLING?
- MWAH, MWAH.

SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
- THIS IS PANDORA.

- HI, PANDORA.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.

- PANDORA'S VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH.

AND KEVIN ARRIVES IN HIS
KIND OF SUITED AND BOOTED

AND HIS MAKEUP.

AND I'M LIKE, OH, HOLY COW.
THIS COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG.

- SO BACK HERE
IS THIS REALLY BEAUTIFUL

SORT OF SECRET GARDEN. - YEAH.

- OH, THAT SOUNDS SO DIVINE.

- AND IT HAS THIS LITTLE PATH.

- WE'RE A LITTLE
AT ODDS OVER THIS,

BECAUSE I ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU'D GET MARRIED IN A CHURCH.

I MEAN, BEING HONEST.

- YEAH, BUT I'D RATHER GET
MARRIED OUTSIDE, I THINK.

- OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO GORGEOUS.

- YOU THINK?
- ABSOLUTELY.

- I'M NOT 100% SURE,

BECAUSE WE COULD
GET MARRIED IN A CHURCH,

AND THEN WE COULD
DRIVE BACK HERE.

- NO, DO IT HERE.

THIS IS SO SPECTACULAR.

WHY GO TO CHURCH?
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

- YEAH, DEFINITELY.
- SHE'S VERY OLD-FASHIONED.

- BECAUSE I'M MOVING ON.

LIKE THAT'S GOT SOMETHING
TO DO WITH IT.

NO, OKAY,
LET'S THINK ABOUT THAT.

- OKAY, LET'S BUILD
THE CHURCH RIGHT HERE THEN.

HOW 'BOUT THAT? - YEAH, NO.

WHAT ON EARTH
IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

WE'RE HAVING A WEDDING.
WE'RE NOT BUILDING A HOUSE.

- TONS OF CANDLES EVERYWHERE.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- OH, I LOVE IT.

- DO YOU?
I MEAN, IT'S SUCH A MESS NOW.

LOOK.

SO THAT'S KIND OF
PLAN "A" OR "B."

- "A."
- PLAN "B" IS?

- CHURCH.
- CHURCH.

BUT SHE WANTS TO BE HAVING
THE WEDDING OUT HERE.

- DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD
BE BEAUTIFUL AT SUNSET

WITH THE CANDLES?

- YEAH, IT'D BE SO SPECTACULAR.

- YOU'RE KIND OF DOING THINGS
BACK TO FRONT ANYWAY

'CAUSE THEY'RE LIVING
TOGETHER, SO...

LIVING IN SIN.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE
GOING TO CHURCH.

- WELL, WE'LL SEE. ALL RIGHT.

- ULTIMATELY, IT'S HER DAY.

SO I HAVE TO SUPPORT HER

WITH WHATEVER I WANT...
SHE WANTS.

SO THE ONE THING I THOUGHT
WOULD BE REALLY BEAUTIFUL

IS YOU COULD DO THIS KIND
OF LIKE AN ENCHANTED GARDEN,

SO THEY WOULDN'T KNOW
IT WAS THE TENNIS COURTS.

- THIS IS THE TENNIS COURT
WE'RE WALKING INTO.

OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THIS PLACE!

LOOK AT THIS, SO ENORMOUS.

LIKE, A FABULOUS RECEPTION.

SO WHAT'S THE GUEST COUNT?

- I THINK, LIKE, 180, 175.

- OH...
- THAT'S ALL?

- YEAH.
- THAT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH.

WE'RE GONNA JUST MAKE
A SPECTACULAR GRAND WEDDING.

- NO, NO, NO, SHE WANTS
SOMETHING KIND OF SMALL.

- THIS IS THE BEVERLY HILLS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE A HUGE,
GRAND WEDDING HERE.

- I WILL MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS,

AND THAT'S THE END OF IT.

KEVIN WILL EXECUTE MY...

OR MAYBE I'LL EXECUTE KEVIN.

- NUMBER ONE PARTY
IN BEVERLY HILLS.

- NO, NO, SHE WANTS
SOMETHING SIMPLE.

- NO, IT HAS TO BE
SPECTACULAR, VERY GRAND.

VERY BEVERLY HILLS.

- NOT VERY BEVERLY HILLS.
VERY ENGLISH.

I WANT IT KIND OF ROMANTIC,

DOWN-TO-EARTH AND GORGEOUS.

- DOWN-TO-EARTH DOESN'T
WORK AT THIS HOUSE.

WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS HOUSE?
OH, IT'S ENORMOUS.

HOW CAN IT BE DOWN-TO-EARTH?

THIS IS NOT A SHACK HOUSE.
COME ON!

- OH, MY GOD.

HE'S LIKE THE ASIAN VERSION OF
THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE.

A LOT OF WHAT HE SAYS
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

SO WHAT KIND OF DRESS
DID YOU WANT?

- I WANT A DRESS
WITH PINK IN IT.

- WHAT?

NO!

I DON'T THINK SO.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- YEAH, I MEAN LIKE
PINK ROSES AND PINK DIAMONDS.

- OH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

- 100% I'M HAVING IT, SO...

- NO WAY. THAT'S SO TACKY TO ME.

- WELL, YOU'RE NOT HAVING
A WHOLE PINK DRESS.

IT'D BE LIKE A BARBIE WEDDING.

- NO, I'M HAVING, LIKE,
PINK ROSES AND PINK DIAMONDS.

IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL.

- YOU THINK IT SHOULD
ALL BE WHITE?

- DEFINITELY.

- YEAH, BUT SHE CAN HAVE
PINK ACCENTS ON IT.

- I DON'T THINK SO.

SOMETHING VERY ELEGANT
AND CLASSY, VERY FLOWY.

- IT WILL BE WITH PINK ROSES.

I'M A LITTLE WORRIED RIGHT NOW

AS WHO'S GOING TO BE
WEARING THE DRESS.

I THINK THEY'LL BE
FIGHTING OVER IT.

WHAT KIND OF BUDGET
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

- WAIT, DO WE HAVE A BUDGET?

- YEAH, WE DO HAVE A BUDGET.

WE DON'T WANT IT TO BE, LIKE,
OUT OF CONTROL.

- THE AVERAGE WEDDINGS
IN BEVERLY HILLS

WITH 180 GUESTS,
ABOUT A MILLION.

- WHAT'S HE GONNA DO
AS PARTY FAVORS,

GIVE PEOPLE A BAG OF MONEY
TO GO HOME WITH?

I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

- NO, I'M NOT JOKING WITH YOU.

I'M VERY REAL.
- WELL, THERE'S NO WAY

SHE'S GETTING MARRIED
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

THERE'S NO WAY.
- AT LEAST WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT.

- IF YOU TELL ME IT'S ANYWHERE
MORE THAN $150,000...

- IT'S NOT REALISTIC, 150,000.

- OKAY, YOU'RE GOING BACK
TO A LITTLE CHURCH IN ENGLAND.

- OKAY.

- IN THE COUNTRY, IN THE PUB.

THAT'S IT. - I'M GETTING SCARED.

- BUT HE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE SO STYLISH,

AND HE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE THE BEST.

SO I'M GONNA GO WITH HIM.

- WELL, WELL, WELL.

MWAH, MWAH.

- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE MEETING YOU TOO.

- WHY DOES NOBODY KISS,
ACTUALLY TOUCH,

HAVE CONTACT IN BEVERLY HILLS?

WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT'S WRONG LIKE...

- BEVERLY HILLS, DARLING.
SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE.

- HI.
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU, LADIES?

- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- SORRY, KIM, SORRY.

IT IS HARD AT TIMES WITH KIM

BECAUSE I HAVE HAD
TO TAKE A STEP BACK

AND REMOVE MYSELF A LITTLE BIT.

THAT ALSO MEANS
I DON'T ALWAYS KNOW

WHAT'S GOING ON IN KIM'S LIFE.

BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER
THAT'S NOT ALWAYS MY BUSINESS.

WHAT WERE THE GIRLS
FIGHTING ABOUT?

- YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST BEEN
A LOT OF LITTLE THINGS

BACK AND FORTH.

NITPICKING.

THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US

AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE
KIMBERLY AND CHAD AND...

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE DISTANCE?

- THEY'RE IN L.A.
AND WE'RE IN WESTLAKE.

JUST THAT 20, 30-MINUTE TRIP.

- YOU NEED TO MOVE CLOSER.

- I'M GONNA BE LOOKING
TO MOVE BACK CLOSER

TO KINDA BRIDGE THAT GAP
A LITTLE MORE BETWEEN EVERYBODY,

'CAUSE I THINK IT'S BEEN
REALLY HARD ON EVERYBODY.

- WELL, LAST TIME
WHEN YOU WERE PICKING A PLACE

YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT KIMBERLY
AND THE SCHOOL AND DRIVING.

NOW KIMBERLY'S GONNA HAVE
HER LICENSE SOON.

- HERE WE GO AGAIN.

KYLE FEELS THAT
SHE'S LIKE THE MOTHER.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN...

I FEEL LIKE KYLE'S
VERY CONTROLLING.

- I'M NOT GONNA SAY
I TOLD YOU SO,

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

- BUT YOU DO.

I DON'T REGRET
STAYING OUT THERE.

I THINK... I THINK I AM...

- I THINK EVERY TIME YOU MOVE
FARTHER AWAY FROM US

IT ENDS UP BEING A MISTAKE
AND YOU END UP REGRETTING IT.

AND THAT'S WHAT I WAS
TRYING TO SAY LAST TIME.

- IN A SITUATION
LIKE GAME NIGHT,

KYLE AND I WILL HAVE
EACH OTHER'S BACK 100%.

IT COULD GET KNOCK-DOWN,
DRAG-OUT UGLY.

WHEN KYLE AND I ARE ALONE,

SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE PICK, PICK,
PICK, PICK, PICK, PICK, PICK.

YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE, YOUR HAIR.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR...
OH, YOUR LIPS AREN'T RIGHT.

AND, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE NOT EATING ENOUGH.

HONESTLY,

I NEED TO KEEP A BIT
OF MY SELF INDEPENDENCE TOO.

I'VE GOTTEN VERY STRONG
SINCE THE GIRLS...

I'VE MADE A LOT OF CHANGES
THIS LAST YEAR.

- I KNOW I KEEP SAYING THAT
I NEED TO LET KIM

LIVE HER OWN LIFE,

AND CLEARLY IT'S STILL
A STRUGGLE FOR ME.

I'M WORKING AT IT.

SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
MOVE IN CLOSER?

- NO.

- OKAY.

- OKAY, KNOW-IT-ALL,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

- I WOULD MOVE CLOSER IN TOWN,

CLOSER WITH ALL YOUR FAMILY.

AND CHAD AND KIMBERLY CAN DRIVE.

IT'S NOT THAT FAR.

AND GET A SMALL PLACE
AND NOT HAVE, YOU KNOW,

FIVE BEDROOMS AND BE IN THIS
BIG HOUSE BY YOURSELF.

BUT I TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE.

AND I CAN TELL, WE'RE GONNA
GO RIGHT BACK TO THAT.

[clears throat]

JUST THE PATTERN.

- KYLE'S A PERSON THAT THINKS
SHE'S ALWAYS RIGHT.

KYLE IS RIGHT.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

- OKAY.

WHERE'S THE WAITRESS?

- WOW.

- I... THE FUNNY THING IS...

- DON'T.
- OKAY.

- COMING UP...

- DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.

REALLY, KIDS SHOULD BE
OFF-LIMITS IN MY WORLD.

- [murmuring]

DEDRA. - YO.

- YO, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THESE FOR THIS DRESS?

IS IT TOO MUCH?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

TOO MUCH. - NO, I LIKE 'EM.

- YOU LIKE THEM?
- I DO LIKE THEM.

- YOU LIKE THESE? OR THIS?

- NO, YOU ALWAYS WEAR THOSE.
WEAR SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

- THIS?
- NO.

I LIKE THE OTHER ONES.
NO, WEAR SOME...

- THESE, MOM?

- YOU'RE LOVELY.
- OR THIS?

- LOOK AT THESE ONES.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, MOM?

DO YOU LIKE THESE?

- WHY DON'T YOU LOOK
IN THE MIRROR

AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM?

- HOLD ON, I'M GONNA RUN
TO THE MIRROR REAL FAST.

TODAY I'M HOSTING
A CHARITY EVENT

THAT MY MOM
AND I ARE BEING HONORED,

AND IT'S FOR
THE JOHN WAYNE CANCER INSTITUTE

RESEARCH FOR BREAST
AND PROSTATE CANCER.

- THOSE ARE CUTE TOO.

- THESE ARE CUTE TOO,
BUT THEY'RE GONNA LEAVE A MARK.

- NO, THEN DON'T WEAR THEM.

- MY MOM SURVIVED
STAGE THREE OVARIAN CANCER,

AND SHE'S NOW BATTLING
BLADDER CANCER.

I LOVE THOSE SHOES, MOM.
THEY'RE SO PRETTY.

- THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

- ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT TODAY?

- I'M VERY EXCITED.

[overlapping chatter]

- CAMILLE, RIGHT HERE.
- JUST A LITTLE BIT...

- RIGHT THERE.

- TODAY'S ALL ABOUT
SPREADING THE WORD

AND GETTING INVOLVED.

- YES, GETTING INVOLVED,
AWARENESS,

AND RAISING FUNDS FOR RESEARCH.

[overlapping chatter]

- CHARITY LUNCHEONS
ARE A BIG PART

OF THE SOCIAL SCENE
IN BEVERLY HILLS.

SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY
GIVE THEIR TIME

AND THEIR MONEY TO THE CAUSE.

AND OTHERS ARE THERE
TO JUST PUT ON AN OUTFIT

AND WALTZ AROUND.

I DIDN'T GET THE HAT MEMO.

IT LOOKED LIKE AN EASTER BASKET.

IT WAS RIDICULOUS.

- HELLO.

HI, GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD. EVERYTHING GOOD?

- I WAS INVITED
TO CAMILLE'S CHARITY EVENT,

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE BULLIED.

I'M NOT GONNA BE THE ONE
THAT DOESN'T SHOW UP

BECAUSE THE MEAN GIRLS
ARE MEAN TO ME.

OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S SO PRETTY.

- THANK YOU.

- KYLE MIGHT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
ABOUT BRANDI BEING THERE,

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY PERSONAL
ISSUES AGAINST BRANDI,

SO I WOULD NEVER CALL HER

TO UNINVITE HER TO ANYTHING.

- OH, IT'S SO...
IT'S SO, LIKE, 1950s PRINCESS.

I LOVE THIS. HOW MUCH IS IT?

- 2,900.

- HI, BEAUTIFUL.

OH, MY GOD, I LOVE YOUR DRESS.

I GOTTA HAVE IT. - REALLY?

- [indistinct]

- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

AND WHO IS THIS?

- FOR CHARITY,
THEY'RE SELLING THESE.

YOU CAN BUY A FUR FOR CHARITY.
- WOW.

I HAD THIS EXACT SAME THING,
BUT IT'S FAUX.

MINE'S FAUX.

- OKAY, MINE'S REAL.
I'M REALLY SORRY.

[laughs]

SORRY, LITTLE GUY.
- THAT'S OKAY.

- I LOVE YOUR WHOLE OUTFIT.

YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

- OH, LOOK AT THAT DRESS.

- OH, MY GOSH.

THAT'S GONNA GET
ANYBODY'S ATTENTION.

- NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

- BRANDI AND DANA...
- ARE THEY IN THERE?

- YEAH, I THINK IT'S THEM.

THEY'RE SITTING TOGETHER
RIGHT ON THE FAR CORNER.

IS THAT A GOOD THING
OR A BAD THING?

ARE THEY FRIENDS?
GIVE ME THE HEADS-UP.

- I DON'T KNOW
IF THEY'RE FRIENDS.

- ALL RIGHT.

- YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO HER,
AND I'M NOT.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO ME.

I'M SITTING ON YOUR BLOODY LAP.

YOU'RE NOT SITTING ANYWHERE.

- THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'M GONNA BE SEEING BRANDI

SINCE GAME NIGHT,
AND THE AWKWARDNESS LEVEL

IS JUST AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH

AT THAT LUNCHEON WITH BRANDI
SITTING ACROSS FROM ME.

HI, HOWARD. - HEY, SWEETHEART.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - THANK YOU.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.

- I'VE NEVER HOSTED ANYTHING
LIKE THIS BEFORE.

- WELL, HAVE YOU GOT A SPEECH?

- I HAVE STUFF TO SAY,
BUT YES, I HAVE A SPEECH, BUT...

- YOU'LL DO FINE.

- OKAY, THANK YOU. JUST NERVOUS.

- HI, BEAUTIFUL.
YOUR MOM LOOKS AMAZING.

- YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

- OF COURSE. YOU LOOK SO CUTE.

- THANK YOU. THAT'S PRETTY.

- LOOK LIKE A LITTLE TULIP
OR A BARBIE.

IT'S JUST TOO MUCH.

BUT SHE LOOKS AMAZING.

- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT.

- LADIES, WE GOTTA START.

COME ON, I'LL GIVE YOU
YOUR SEAT.

- HAVE YOU GUYS HAD
A CHANCE TO... CHAT?

- NO, WE HAVEN'T.

- I SEE.

- GOOD AFTERNOON.
I'M LANA SCHERVONE,

AND I'M DELIGHTED
TO WELCOME YOU ALL HERE.

I WANT TO ALSO WELCOME...

NO, I... EXCUSE ME,
I'M SO NERVOUS.

PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME
TO CAMILLE GRAMMER.

[cheers and applause]

- THANK YOU.

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS MYSELF.

OKAY, THANK YOU, LANA.

I WOULD LIKE TO RECOGNIZE
SOME SPECIAL GUESTS

IN OUR AUDIENCE.

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

OF THE JOHN WAYNE
CANCER INSTITUTE,

PATRICK WAYNE.

[applause]

- CAMILLE WAS SO NERVOUS.

I UNDERSTAND THAT,
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN

IN THAT SITUATION MYSELF.

- AS WE FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT,

STRONGER, KNOWING THAT WE
ARE NOT ALONG... ALONE,

AND WE'RE CERTAINLY WITHOUT...
NOT WITHOUT LOVE.

I DO GET NERVOUS
SPEAKING IN FRONT

OF LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE.

I THINK EVERYBODY DOES, RIGHT?

MOST PEOPLE I KNOW.

EVEN THE BEST-TRAINED
ACTORS OUT THERE

AND SPEECH...
EVERYBODY GETS NERVOUS

BEFORE THEY GO ONSTAGE.

AND I WANT TO THANK
MY MOM FOR TEACHING ME

COURAGE, DIGNITY, AND GRACE.

MOM, TODAY WE ARE HONORING YOU

WITH THIS AWARD.

[cheers and applause]

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE.

- AFTER LOSING MY MOM
TO BREAST CANCER,

I CAN'T HELP BUT
WATCH CAMILLE AND HER MOM

AND THINKING HOW LUCKY
CAMILLE IS TO HAVE HER MOM.

[applause]

THANK YOU.

[indistinct chatter]

- [laughs]

- KYLE AND LISA
WERE GIGGLING A LOT,

AND TALKING REALLY LOW
AND SECRETS

AND IT SEEMED
A LITTLE BIT CHILDISH.

- DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.

- OH, YOUR SON?
- MY EX.

- OH, YOUR EX. OH, OF COURSE.

IS HE, UM, GIVING YOU
A HARD TIME?

- YES.

AND THAT'S PART OF THE REASON

I JUST DON'T WANT ANYONE
TALKING ABOUT MY KIDS

OR MY PARENTING.

I JUST FEEL LIKE REALLY KIDS
SHOULD BE OFF-LIMITS

IN MY WORLD.

I... - YEAH.

I AGREE.

- ARE YOU GONNA SAY ANYTHING?

- WHY SHOULD I?

- I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST FEELS...

- I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT
FOR ME TO SAY.

- I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING
'CAUSE IT'S, LIKE,

GETTING RUDE.

- IT'S PAST THE POINT OF RUDE.

IT'S MOVED ON
TO ANOTHER SITUATION.

- I KNOW, BUT... NO?

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY TO HER?

- I DON'T KNOW, ANYTHING.

- OKAY, SAY SOMETHING. COME ON.

ENTERTAIN ME.

- HOW COULD YOU SIT THERE
WITH ALL THESE WOMEN,

I MEAN, BASICALLY IGNORING HER?

I MEAN, I WOULD HAVE
HOPPED IT OUT OF THERE.

- SAY SOMETHING.

- STOP NUDGING ME.

I'LL DO IT IN MY OWN TIME,

FOR GOD'S SAKE.

BRANDI, WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

- MULHOLLAND.
- OH, MULHOLLAND.

- YEAH.

- THAT WAS GOOD.

[chuckles]

- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK
ABOUT, WINSTON CHURCHILL?

- [chuckles]

- COMING UP...

- HOW ARE YOU AND KYLE DOING?

- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER
BE EXACTLY THE SAME.

I CAN NEVER FORGET.

- I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAVE HAD
A GREAT AFTERNOON.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

- I THINK THE EVENT
WAS A SUCCESS.

- JUST TRIED TO KEEP IT, LIKE,
DRAMA-FREE TODAY, YOU KNOW?

I REALLY JUST KEPT TO MYSELF,

AND I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE ABOUT DRAMA.

I WANT IT TO BE ABOUT
CAMILLE AND HER DAY.

I DID GOOD, WELL, ON MY PART.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED OTHERWISE.

- I'M GONNA GO GIVE THIS
FOR THE RECEIPT

TO BUY THE FLOWERS.

- OH.
- YEAH.

- BECAUSE OF GAME NIGHT,

IT MADE ME WANT TO SHOW UP
EVEN MORE

TO LET KYLE KNOW
I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER.

- THAT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

I'M SORRY, BUT I FIND

THESE SITUATIONS
REALLY STRESSFUL.

YOU'RE SITTING THERE
OPPOSITE SOMEBODY,

AND YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING THERE?

- WELL, I HAD NOTHING TO SAY.

I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY
THE OTHER NIGHT TO HER.

- WITH WHAT I'VE HEARD
WITH BRANDI,

I THINK IT'S GONNA BE
EXTREMELY DIFFICULT

TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
WITH THIS WOMAN.

EITHER SHE SAYS,
"I'M SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED,"

AND YOU MOVE ON,

BUT TO ACTUALLY
SIT THERE SAYING NOTHING,

IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.

OH, DEAR, WE COULD HAVE
AT LEAST TALKED

ABOUT WINSTON CHURCHILL.

- SO YOU MISSED CAMILLE'S
CHARITY EVENT.

- I WAS SO BUMMED.

- I HEARD ABOUT GAME NIGHT.

- IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE

IT HAD ANYTHING TO DO
WITH THAT GIRL BRANDI,

NOT... NO CAN DO.

I WILL WALK INTO A ROOM

AND THAT GIRL CAN BE THERE,

AND I WOULDN'T EVEN SEE HER.

- SO WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE?

- BECAUSE I WAS PACKING.

- OKAY, OKAY.

- I'M PACKING MY HOUSE UP.

WHAT I'M MOST UPSET ABOUT,

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING
SO HARD ON MYSELF

AND I AM IN SUCH A GOOD PLACE,

IS THAT I LET SOMEONE
LIKE BRANDI

BRING ME TO HER LEVEL.

FROM THE MINUTE SHE SAID,
"BRING IT ON, YOU KNOW, BITCH,"

AND THEN JUST THE WHOLE THING

WAS JUST SUCH A DOMINO EFFECT
DOWNWARD FOR HER.

- FROM WHAT SHE TOLD ME,
SHE FELT TERRIBLE.

SO SHE DID... SHE FELT AWFUL
FOR WHAT SHE SAID.

I'M JUST THROWING
THAT OUT THERE.

- BRANDI DOES NOT DESERVE
A SECOND CHANCE WITH ME.

SHE WON'T GET ONE.

THAT'S DONE.

- SO HOW ARE YOU AND KYLE DOING?

- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER
BE EXACTLY THE SAME.

I DON'T KNOW.

I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME
IT GETS BETTER,

BUT AT THE SAME TIME,

I LOOK AND THERE'S TIMES
I LOOK AT HER

AND I JUST... I LOVE HER SO MUCH,

AND, LIKE, MY HEART
IS SO FORGIVING TO HER.

AND THEN THERE'S TIMES
I JUST LOOK AND I GO,

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THAT?"

- YOU ARE SO SICK!

YOU ARE A LIAR AND SICK
AND AN ALCOHOLIC.

- STOP IT, STOP IT.
- OKAY?

- YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT, I'VE SAID IT.
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS.

- I JUST...
I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.

I CAN NEVER FORGET.

I CAN NEVER FORGET
THE NIGHT IN THE LIMO.

- OKAY, YOU MIGHT NOT
BE ABLE TO FORGET,

BUT MAYBE EVENTUALLY
YOU CAN FORGIVE.

- THAT I KNOW.

AND I'M GONNA BE
IN A BETTER PLACE

THE SOONER I CAN GET THERE.

AND I'M THERE, I GET THERE,

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
IT, LIKE, HITS ME,

AND, LIKE, THAT MEMORY HITS ME,

AND I'M LIKE, UGH.

FOR HER TO GO TO THAT PLACE

MAKES IT SO MUCH HARDER
THAN TO FORGIVE

SOME OTHER PERSON
THAT WASN'T THERE

TO EXPERIENCE THE MOMENTS,
THE PAINFUL MOMENTS

OF OUR LIVES.

SHE WAS THERE AND SAW THE PAIN.

AND SO FOR HER TO DO
WHAT SHE DID,

IT'S TAKING ME A LOT LONGER

TO GET OVER IT.

- AT LEAST
I KNOW THAT IT'S MOVING

IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION.

SO THAT'S A BIG STEP.

RIGHT?

- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- SO I WANT TO DO A LITTLE
SURPRISE PARTY FOR PANDORA.

- WHEN MOHAMED SAYS HE WANTS
TO HAVE THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY,

YOU WILL SAY YES,

'CAUSE YOU KNOW
IT'S GONNA BE FABULOUS.

ADRIENNE'S SPA DAY.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

I DON'T THINK ANYTHING
LIKE THIS EXISTS.

- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU.

- NO, NO, STOP.

I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.

- DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER,

ESPECIALLY MAKING
AN ACCUSATION LIKE THAT.

- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,