The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 12 - The Great Divide - full transcript
Friendships are re-evaluated in the aftermath of Lisa's tea party, while Taylor puts conflict on the back burner and throws herself into her daughter's lavish birthday party.
PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- ARE YA READY?
- YES.
- HERE WE GO.
- SO, KENNEDY IS TURNING FIVE.
THIS YEAR, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A COWBOY THEME PARTY FOR HER.
- HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE WE FEEDING, TAYLOR?
Both: 200.
- I'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEBODY
THAT I'VE BEEN KEEPING
A LITTLE PRIVATE.
SO, WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
- I FEEL LIKE THAT'S NOT
SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANNA DO.
- SO, WHAT'S
THE SPECIAL OCCASION?
JUST TEA FOR FUN?
- I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD
START SAYING WHAT THEY MEAN.
- BUT EVERYTHING, TAYLOR?
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT
EVERYTHING OUT THERE.
THIS IS AN INTERVENTION
THAT WAS UNEXPECTED,
BUT POSSIBLY NEEDED.
BECAUSE WE'RE ALL
PROTECTING YOU.
- ABOUT MY MARRIAGE?
- WE DON'T SAY THAT HE HITS YOU.
[upbeat music]
- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,
AND I MAKE THE RULES.
- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,
BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.
- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,
BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.
- I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,
AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY,
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK
FOR IT.
- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
FREEDOM IS.
- EVERYONE'S TALKING
BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACK,
AND LET'S ALL JUST START
BEING HONEST.
- BUT EVERYTHING, TAYLOR?
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT
EVERYTHING OUT THERE.
YOU SAID "EVERYTHING."
I WOULD BE CAREFUL,
WITH YOU SAYING THAT,
BECAUSE WE'RE ALL
PROTECTING YOU.
- ABOUT MY MARRIAGE?
- BUT WHAT YOU TOLD US
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
WHAT YOU TOLD US
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
WE'VE BEEN PROTECTING YOU,
BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY
THAT HE HITS YOU.
BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY
THAT HE BROKE YOUR JAW,
OR THAT HE...
- THREW YOU IN THE BATH.
- HE BEAT YOU UP.
AND HE... HE HITS YOU.
WE DON'T SAY THAT,
BUT NOW WE SAID IT, OKAY?
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO WALK AROUND GOING,
"YEAH, WE CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE RUSSELL."
BUT WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE,
BECAUSE YOU COME OVER
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SIGNS
OF PHYSICAL ABUSE ON YOUR BODY.
- THAT'S REALLY UNCOOL.
- MM-HMM.
YES, IT'S REALLY UNCOOL.
BUT YOU SET IT UP, TAYLOR.
- WE'VE ALL TALKED TO TAYLOR
MANY TIMES IN PRIVATE,
BUT I THINK SHE WAS SHOCKED
THAT CAMILLE LAID IT OUT
ON THE TABLE.
CAMILLE'S ANGRY
AT THE INCONSISTENCIES
WITH TAYLOR AND RUSSELL'S
RELATIONSHIP,
AND THIS HAS JUST BEEN THE STRAW
THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.
- YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST.
YOU NEED TO BE HONEST!
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT COOL.
- WHAT SHE JUST SAID WAS ABOVE
AND BEYOND WHAT NEEDS TO...
- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S BEEN
SKATING AROUND IT FOR SO LONG.
I, AS I SAID, TAYLOR,
I BELIEVED WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE,
TO ME, INITIALLY.
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T LIKE HIM.
- AND I APPRECIATE THAT, BUT
YOU'VE NEVER LIKED ME EITHER.
- NO, I WAS CONFUSED BY YOU.
- AND I NEEDED YOU.
AND I... FELT LIKE
A JUNIOR-HIGH GIRL
WHO WANTED TO BE FRIENDS
WITH THE POPULAR GIRL.
AND IT FELT AWFUL.
- I'M SORRY
I MADE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.
- WELL, PART OF IT'S MY FAULT.
- BUT I WAS CONFUSED BY YOU,
AND I-I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO BELIEVE.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
I HAD NO IDEA, BECAUSE
YOU'VE NEVER SAID IT TO ME.
SO, I FORGIVE YOU.
- I REALLY SAW
A DIFFERENT SIDE OF TAYLOR,
WHERE SHE WAS DESPERATE
FOR MY FRIENDSHIP.
AND I FELT KIND OF HUMBLED
BY THE FACT THAT I HADN'T
REALLY SUPPORTED HER.
WOW.
WELL, I FEEL BETTER
ABOUT IT ALL, IN A WAY.
- SO I'M GLAD, LISA,
HONESTLY, MY HAND TO GOD,
THAT YOU AND I
HAVE RESOLVED THINGS,
BECAUSE NOW I CAN JUST BE
AS HONEST AS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE WITH YOU.
- THAT'S RESOLVED?
YOU GUYS HAVE HAD
THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS
TOWARDS EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG,
AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN...
[snaps fingers]
IT'S ALL FINISHED?
EVERYTHING'S HUNKY-DORY?
THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
- NO, BUT I WANT TO BE...
I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH LISA,
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN
BRAVE ENOUGH...
- IT HAS GOT A CERTAIN AMOUNT
OF RESOLUTION, YEAH.
- BECAUSE I'VE NEVER
BEEN ABLE TO SPEAK MY MIND,
AND MAYBE I DIDN'T DO IT WELL,
BUT NOW, THE DOOR'S OPEN.
- THAT'S OKAY.
- FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE,
CONFIDENT ENOUGH
TO JUST BE HONEST.
WE'RE GONNA BE FRIENDS. - OKAY.
AND YOU JUST TELL ME THE...
- PINKY SWEAR.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL,
I KNEW IT.
- [laughs]
- YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH.
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE TRUTH
EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
- OKAY. SWEAR?
- I SWEAR.
- I FEEL THAT I HAVE TO NOW
WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN.
I THINK THAT ANY DOUBTS
I'VE HAD IN THE PAST,
I HAVE TO ERASE
BECAUSE I THINK THIS GIRL
NEEDS MORE SUPPORT.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION.
- IT'S A FIRST.
- IS TBE.
- SO THAT'S NOT A SHIP?
- WELL, WHAT KIND OF SHIP
WOULD THIS BE?
IT'S THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
- NOW THAT
I'VE MOVED IN WITH KEN,
- IT'S DEFINITELY
MORE CHALLENGING, YOU KNOW.
WE'VE GOT THE STRESS
OF THE MOVE,
KIDS THAT ARE GOING
THROUGH THINGS,
AND IT'S...
IT'S BEEN CHALLENGING.
- YOU HAD A VISION.
- I HAD A VISION.
TRIPPING THE SHIP. - [sighs]
I MEAN, THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
- THE BRIDGE.
- YEAH.
I REALLY THINK THIS
IS AN AWESOME
OVER-THE-FIREPLACE PIECE,
THAT... [stammering]
I THINK IT'S AWESOME!
IT SHOULD GO OVER THE FIREPLACE!
- I CAN TRY IT,
SEE WHAT I THINK.
- THINK?
KYLE CRIED WHEN I TOLD HER
THAT KEN AND I
WERE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
IT SADDENED ME TO SEE HER SAD.
AND I WANTED HER
TO SEE ME HAPPY.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I TRIED
TO SHOW HER THE POSITIVE
AND HOPED THAT SHE WOULD WISH
THE BEST FOR ME.
- HOLD THE OTHER SIDE.
- WAIT, WAIT. GIVE ME A SECOND.
- I GOT IT.
- HOLD ON. WAIT.
YOU HAVE TO HOLD
HIS SIDE FOR A SECOND.
- OKAY. WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
PUT THIS INTO HERE.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, NOW...
GO LIKE THIS. THAT'S STRAIGHT.
NO, NO, NO. DOWN.
- DO YOU MIND?
JUST GO LOOK. - JUST HOLD IT.
- WE ARE BOTH CONTROL FREAKS.
WE ARE BOTH STUBBORN.
I'M AN ARABIAN HORSE, YOU KNOW?
[screeches]
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- I... IT'S AWESOME.
- I LIKE IT.
- I DO, TOO.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I KNOW!
- A WOMAN'S TOUCH.
- I'M RIGHT, HUH?
- OKAY. YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
I KNOW. - OKAY.
- THAT'S FINE, YEAH.
DOES THAT WORK?
- I REALLY LIKE THE WAY
IT STICKS OUT
OVER THE FIREPLACE LIKE THAT.
- ME TOO.
- BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL
TO FIND OUT IF THIS
IS THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
FOR ME.
[both laugh]
- I'M MAKING YOU SOME GRAPES.
- I DON'T WANT THESE.
- OKAY. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- MAMA, I WANT TO MAKE,
LIKE, A REAL SNACK.
- A REAL SNACK?
WHAT'S A REAL SNACK?
[knock at door]
- KYLE!
HI, HONEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?
KYLE.
- HELLO?
- HI.
BROUGHT A COUPLE THINGS OVER.
HI.
- HELLO.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
[baby talk]
I WANTED YOU
TO SEE SOME FABRICS,
BECAUSE WE NEED
SOME COLOR IN THIS HOUSE.
- WE... WE DEFINITELY NEED COLOR.
- I KNOW.
- I'M SO NOT
IN THE MINDSET RIGHT NOW.
- WHY?
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- WHAT COLOR IS THIS?
- IT'S BLUE.
- I'LL TELL YOU,
BUT I DON'T WANT HER
TO HEAR THIS.
AFTER THE TEA PARTY,
I'M JUST LOST NOW.
I'M CONFUSED. I DON'T KNOW.
- KYLE, PLEASE.
COME ON, I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
- I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.
- BUT I REALLY WANT
TO SHOW YOU THESE FABRICS, TOO.
I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO INTENSE,
BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET
SOME COLOR IN THE HOUSE.
- I KNOW, BUT IT IS INTENSE.
- OKAY. WHAT IS IT?
- WELL, YESTERDAY,
LISA HAD A TEA AT HER HOUSE,
AND IT WAS CAMILLE, TAYLOR,
LISA, ADRIENNE, AND ME.
- YEAH.
- THINGS GOT A LITTLE HEATED.
- HI, GIRLS.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
HEY, FAYE.
- RIGHT WHEN I WAS GETTING
SERIOUS INFORMATION.
- WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S WRONG?
- I WAS TELLING HER
ABOUT THE TEA PARTY YESTERDAY.
YOU KNOW THE STUFF
THAT TAYLOR HAS SHARED WITH ME,
AND WITH YOU, AT TIMES, ABOUT...
THE ABUSE. - THE ABUSE.
- BUT, I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS
ALL THE DETAILS.
SO CAMILLE,
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT,
SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE ABUSE.
I THINK TAYLOR'S SCARED
THAT RUSSELL MAY FIND OUT
THAT SHE'S TOLD US THIS STUFF.
- YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN WORKING
WITH THIS FOR 19 YEARS.
I KNOW THE PATTERNS,
I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS
TO KNOW ABOUT IT, UNFORTUNATELY.
AND IT'S DANGEROUS.
- NOW, TAYLOR, SHE'S REALLY,
REALLY UPSET WITH CAMILLE.
- OF COURSE SHE IS.
AND SHE'S PROBABLY EMBARRASSED.
- IS THAT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T
WANT IT TO COME OUT?
IS THAT WHAT THE DEAL IS?
- SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT
TO ADDRESS IT YET.
- I THINK THAT'S WHY I HAVE
A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING IT,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU
DON'T SEE SOMETHING,
AND THEN YOU SEE PEOPLE
ACTING HAPPY AT TIMES...
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, THEY DON'T
HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE.
BUT THEN, THEN, YOU KNOW,
THIS WEEKEND WE'RE GOING
TO KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY,
AND EVERYONE'S ALL HAPPY
AND THEY'RE DOING
THE BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S VERY CONFUSING.
- AFTER THE ABUSE, TYPICALLY,
THERE'S THE HONEYMOON PERIOD,
WHERE A MAN JUST ROMANCES YOU.
AND THAT'S WHY
THESE WOMEN GO BACK.
HE SENDS YOU FLOWERS,
AND HE'S, "I LOVE YOU,
I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN."
AND THEN THE WOMAN,
BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM,
SHE BELIEVES HIM,
AND SHE WANTS TO PRETEND
OR ASSUME THAT IT'LL
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
- YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I HAVE SAID TO HER,
"TAYLOR, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE,
AND IF THIS,
WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME,
IS TRUE, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE"?
I CAN'T BELIEVE...
AND I SAY THIS TO HER
AND THEN, NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE HAPPY.
AND THEN I'M THINKING,
"OH, GREAT.
"HERE I'VE SAID THIS,
AND THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER."
- IT'S SO HARD
WHEN YOU SEE RUSSELL...
- AND THEN HE'S NICE TO ME,
AND I SEE HIM PLAY WITH KENNEDY.
- I KNOW. IT'S SO SAD.
- I'M SO CONFUSED BY EVERYTHING.
I HAVE NO REASON NOT TO BELIEVE
IT'S THE TRUTH, YOU KNOW?
BUT I JUST... IT'S SO HARD
FOR ME TO SEE SOMEONE
STILL STAYING THERE, TOGETHER.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
WITH BLACK EYES
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT IT'S NOT REALLY HAPPENING.
- I'M SO CONFUSED BY EVERYTHING.
- IN YOUR CASE,
I THINK ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS JUST LOVE HER LIKE YOU DO.
I MEAN, YOU'VE BEEN
SUCH A GREAT FRIEND.
- COMING UP...
- THERE ARE THINGS
THAT YOU SAID THAT SHE SAID.
THOSE THINGS, YOU KNOW,
WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
- I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A FRIEND.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, BEAUTY.
HOW ARE YOU? GIVE ME A KISS.
MWAH.
WHAT'S THIS? - I GOT IT.
- BRIDESMAIDS' DRESS.
- OH, REALLY?
- IT'S PERFECT.
- OKAY, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
HOLD IT UP.
- IT'S OUR FIRST
PHYSICAL ARTICLE OF THE WEDDING.
- YES, NOW HOLD IT UP, DARLING.
OH, I LOVE IT. YES.
- ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- PERFECT.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT.
- SUDDENLY SEEING MY DAUGHTER
WITH HER BRIDESMAIDS' DRESS,
IT'S LIKE, "OH, GOOD LORD.
IT'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER."
WE'RE STARTING TO GET EXCITED.
SO YOU'VE GOT TO ORDER...
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FOUR?
- YEAH.
I WANT TO TAKE IT TO VEGAS,
'CAUSE MY, YOU KNOW,
MY MAID OF HONOR
IS FLYING IN
FOR THE BACHELORETTE.
YOU HAVE TO COME.
- PANDORA WANTS TO HAVE
HER BACHELORETTE PARTY
WITH ALL HER FRIENDS
IN LAS VEGAS.
AND A DEAR FRIEND OF OURS
FOR MANY YEARS,
WHO WAS THE CREATOR
OF PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
HAS OFFERED TO HOST
PANDY'S BACHELORETTE PARTY.
- YOU HAVE TO COME. COME ON.
I HAVE ONE BACHELORETTE PARTY
IN MY LIFE.
COME ON.
YOU NIXED THE ANNABELLA.
YOU NEED TO GO
TO THE CHIPPENDALES?
- PANDORA, WE'VE HAD
THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE.
- PLEASE?
- I DON'T TO HANG OUT
WITH A BUNCH OF 25-YEAR-OLDS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SEE
THE CHIPMUNKS IN ACTION.
I MIGHT NEVER COME BACK.
[laughs]
YOU THINK I'VE GOT
NOTHING BETTER TO DO
THAN TO GYRATE AROUND
WITH A LOT OF NAKED MEN?
- NO. I DON'T.
- THAT'S TRUE, I HAVEN'T.
LET'S GO.
- HEY, GIRLS.
Both: HI.
- SO SORRY I'M LATE.
TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET HERE.
ALMOST TWO HOURS IN TRAFFIC.
- OH, MY GOSH.
WE GOTTA GET YOU BACK IN CLOSER.
- I KNOW.
- OH, I FORGOT THE OTHER CHEEK.
[overlapping chatter]
- SO, HOW ARE YOU?
- TIRED.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANKS. THANKS.
HAD TO GO
TO MY SON'S SCHOOL THIS MORNING,
HE HAD A OPEN HOUSE.
SO THEY GO OVER, LIKE,
EVERYTHING THEY DO.
- IT'S SO CUTE.
THEY GET SO EXCITED
TO SHOW EVERY LITTLE THING
ON THE WALL.
I GET SO CHOKED UP
WHEN THEY, YOU KNOW,
THEY WRITE A LITTLE POEM
OR A STORY.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- I GET SO CHOKED UP.
- I KNOW. I DO TOO.
- WELL, MY MOM ALWAYS SAID
YOU CAN NEVER LOVE A MAN
LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN.
- EXACTLY.
- OH, IT'S SO TRUE.
- THEY CAN DO NO WRONG.
AND THE HUSBAND CAN.
[all laugh]
- HELLO? LIVING PROOF.
THE HUSBAND JUST TAKES OFF.
- HEY, HOW YA DOIN'? all: HI.
- CAN I GET YOU STARTED
WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- OH, LET'S SEE.
CAN I GET A COKE?
- AWESOME. YEAH.
- WHAT IS YOUR SOUP OF THE DAY?
- ROASTED RED PEPPER.
DO YOU WANNA TRY IT? - YEAH.
- I THINK I'M GONNA GET
THE VEGGIE BURGER.
- THE VEGGIE BURGER?
- YEAH.
- I'LL GET
THE CRISPY CHICKEN TENDERS.
- SHE'S GONNA HAVE
THE HAPPY MEAL.
[laughs]
- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GET YOU THAT SOUP.
- I FEEL SO TERRIBLE
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
I DO, I FEEL...
- I FEEL TERRIBLE TOO.
- HAVE YOU TALKED TO TAYLOR?
- HAVE I? NO.
- I TEXTED TAYLOR, LIKE,
MAYBE THREE OR FOUR TIMES,
"I'M SO SORRY.
I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU."
- AND TAYLOR HASN'T REPLIED
TO ANY OF YOUR...
- OH, NO.
TAYLOR WON'T REPLY
TO ANY OF MY TEXTS.
- YOU KNOW, YOU WANT
TO BE HER FRIEND.
BUT YOU DON'T WANT
TO SEE YOUR FRIEND BEING...
- HURT OR PUT IN HARM'S WAY,
AND YOU WANT TO PROTECT THEM.
- I THOUGHT
SHE COULD UNDERSTAND THAT.
- I THOUGHT SO TOO.
- I THINK SHE KNOWS
THAT WE ALL HAVE CONCERNS.
I MEAN, THERE ARE THINGS
THAT YOU SAID THAT SHE SAID.
THOSE THINGS, YOU KNOW,
WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
- YES.
I SAID EXACTLY WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
TAYLOR LOOKED AT ME
AND SHE KEPT NODDING HER HEAD,
"YEAH, TELL ME."
DON'T GOAD ME INTO
SAYING SOMETHING
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SAY IT.
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A FRIEND.
AND WHEN YOU HEAR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
YOU WANT TO REACH OUT TO
SOMEBODY AND HELP THEM.
THAT'S ALL I WAS TRYING TO BE.
- [sighs]
SO, THE WHOLE THING
IS SO CONFUSING TO ME.
- IT'S ALMOST LIKE
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
THAT WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT.
- IT'S OUT THERE NOW.
- EVERY GIRL AT THAT TEA
KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON,
SO I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE
I WAS EXPOSING ANYTHING
THAT WE DIDN'T ALL KNOW.
I MEAN, SHE GOES AROUND
TELLING ALL THE GIRLS THIS,
BUT FOR HER TO HEAR IT HERSELF?
MAYBE IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.
OBVIOUSLY.
OBVIOUSLY, IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT
FOR HER TO HEAR.
- SO, HOW DO WE RECTIFY?
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T...
I'VE REACHED OUT.
I KNOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED
IN ME, RIGHTFULLY SO.
I UNDERSTAND.
- WELL, WHY DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
IN THE WRONG HERE.
CAMILLE IS JUST BEING HONEST
ABOUT WHAT TAYLOR'S TOLD HER.
IF SHE DOESN'T WANT US TO BE
INVOLVED IN HER RELATIONSHIP,
SHE SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON,
BECAUSE THEN WHEN IT'S SO,
UM, HARD FOR US TO HANDLE,
THEN OF COURSE WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE AN OPINION.
SO MAYBE SHE
SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING?
LET HER THERAPIST HANDLE IT.
LET THE PROFESSIONALS HANDLE IT.
AND I THINK THAT'S
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
- ALL I KNOW IS,
I WOULD NO WAY STILL BE THERE.
- KENNEDY IS TURNING FIVE,
AND WE'RE HAVING HER PARTY
AT THE SADDLEROCK RANCH
IN MALIBU.
IT'S A HUGE, BEAUTIFUL RANCH
WITH ANIMALS ALL AROUND US,
AND THE VINEYARDS THERE.
IT'S JUST
AN INCREDIBLY SERENE PLACE.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
THE THEME THIS YEAR
IS A COUNTY FAIR,
AND SO THERE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF ACTIVITIES.
WE HAVE A PETTING ZOO,
PONY RIDES, A MECHANICAL BULL,
FISH TACOS, BOUNCE HOUSE,
A MECHANICAL BULL.
DID I ALREADY SAY THAT?
- LOOK AT THESE CUTE COWGIRLS.
- HELLO, MISSY.
- HELLO.
- WHERE'S BOOMER?
- OOH, YOUR MAKEUP LOOKS PRETTY.
- SHE DID A GOOD JOB,
DIDN'T SHE?
- BOOMER, I JUST
GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH.
THEY'LL BE SET UP BY 12:30.
- OKAY, GREAT.
- YEAH.
- THEY'RE STRESSING ME.
- UH-HUH. LIL' BIT.
OKAY, LET ME RUN
SOME STUFF BY YOU.
WE'RE HAVING TO SET UP
UP HERE AND WE'RE GONNA
PUT THE TABLES OVER THERE.
- OKAY.
- SO THEN WE HAVE STAGE,
FOOD, TABLES, AND THEN MAYBE
THE BOUNCIES EITHER
HERE OR UP THERE.
- AND WHAT ABOUT
THE PETTING ZOO?
- I THINK DOWN HERE, YEAH?
- OKAY.
THE ANIMALS HAVEN'T BEEN
UNLOADED FOR THE PETTING ZOO
OR THE PONY RIDES.
THE BOUNCE HOUSE
HAS NOT BEEN INFLATED.
THE MECHANICAL BULL'S
NOT BEEN INFLATED.
THE CHAIRS AND TABLES
AREN'T EVEN SET UP.
THE WHOLE THING
IS A DISASTER AT THIS POINT.
HI THERE.
DO YOU ONLY
HAVE THE MECHANICAL BULL?
- I GOT THE MECHANICAL BULL.
- GREAT, HOW LONG WILL
IT TAKE YOU TO SET THAT UP?
- UH, 25 MINUTES.
- 25 MINUTES.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU
TO UNLOAD THIS TRACKLESS TRAIN?
- YEAH, I THINK PROBABLY,
LIKE, UH, 20-25 MINUTES,
PROBABLY.
- 25 MINUTES. OKAY.
I'LL BE BACK
TO CHECK ON YOU AT THAT POINT.
I DON'T NEED THIS STRESS.
I'VE GOT 250 PEOPLE COMING.
- KENNEDY, YOU LOOK SO CUTE.
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
CHECK OUT MY COWBOY GEAR.
- I LIKE DANA
WALTZING IN AT NOON.
THIS IS GREAT.
HI, DARLING!
NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP!
- LAST YEAR
I WAS REALLY INVOLVED
WITH KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
THIS YEAR, THE ONLY THING
I'M REALLY COORDINATING
IS THE ENTERTAINMENT.
BUT TAYLOR REALLY WANTED
TO HANDLE IT
MOSTLY HERSELF THIS YEAR.
SO, WOULD IT HELP YOU
IF I SET UP CHAIRS AND TABLES?
- SURE. YEAH.
- IS THAT THE RENTAL COMPANY?
- YES.
THEY WERE ONLY LIKE
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE.
WILL YOU LET THEM KNOW
THAT THEY NEED TO ALSO
TO BE SETTING UP TABLES
IN THIS AREA?
- YUP.
I'M GONNA GET IT DONE RIGHT NOW.
HOW MANY TABLES DO WE HAVE?
- UH, WE GOT 12.
- 12 TABLES TOTAL?
- YES.
- THEY ONLY DID 12 TABLES.
IS THAT RIGHT?
- 12 ADULT AND 10 KIDS,
'CAUSE THAT'S 120 ADULTS...
- SO YOU HAVE HOW MANY?
- CHILDREN'S TABLES.
- UH, TABLES? ROUND TABLES?
WE GOT 12.
YOU KNOW,
WE DON'T GOT NO KIDS' TABLES.
- [sighing] OH, MY GOD.
- WELL, WE DID BRING YOU
70 CHILDREN'S, UH, CHAIRS.
- YOU HAVE 70 KIDS' CHAIRS
AND NO TABLES?
- YEAH, NO TABLES.
- THEY BROUGHT
70 CHILDREN'S CHAIRS
AND NO TABLES FOR THEM
TO SIT AT.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- UH, NO.
UM, OKAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
ANOTHER ONE.
THIS'LL BE MY SECOND ONE
OF THE YEAR.
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- COMING UP...
- DID YOU SEE ACE YOUNG IS HERE?
FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHO'S HE?
- ACE YOUNG FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
- WHO?
- UM, THE RENTAL COMPANY DID NOT
BRING THE CHILDREN'S TABLES.
THEY BROUGHT
CHILDREN'S CHAIRS AND NO TABLES.
- I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- I CANNOT BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.
[laughs]
- HELLO? REALLY?
HE SAYS
THE CHILDREN'S TABLES ARE HERE.
OKAY.
WHO SHOULD I BE ASKING FOR?
JAIME.
- IS THAT YOU, JAIME?
IS HE JAIME? - NO.
- IS THERE A JAIME? NO.
HE SAID THERE'S
SOMEBODY NAMED JAIME
THAT HAS CHILDREN'S TABLES.
PLEASE, TELL ME THAT'S JAIME.
OH! DO YOU HAVE
CHILDREN'S TABLES?
- YES, I HAVE
YOUR TABLES RIGHT THERE.
- YAY! THANK YOU!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
YAY, YAY. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THEY TOLD ME
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY KIDS' TABLES.
- DON'T WORRY. I HAVE YOUR
TABLES OVER THERE.
[indistinct]
- OKAY.
NOW, CAN YOU MAKE
THE SUN COME OUT?
- YEAH.
- OKAY.
THIS YEAR'S PARTY
WAS REALLY SPECIAL FOR ME,
MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS OUT
IN A COUNTRY SETTING
AND IT JUST REMINDED ME
MORE OF BEING HOME AND...
AND KENNEDY GETTING TO
EXPERIENCE A LITTLE BIT
MORE WITH NATURE.
- IT LOOKS SO CUTE FROM HERE!
- YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
- YOU'RE SWEET.
- I LOVE YOU, AND, UM,
I'VE ENJOYED THIS MORNING.
IT WAS A WORKOUT.
[both laugh]
- THERE, BABY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- IT ALL WORKED OUT GOOD.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- IT LOOKS GOOD.
- THANK GOODNESS.
THANK GOODNESS, ONCE A YEAR.
- HERE'S A TICKET.
- SO WHERE DO THEY PUT
THE GIFTS FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIRL?
- SO, ARE YOU HAPPY
WITH EVERYTHING?
- YEAH. THE VENDOR
DID A TERRIBLE JOB.
- I THINK YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- HI!
- DAD, LOOK!
IT'S A CHOO-CHOO TRAIN!
- A CHOO-CHOO TRAIN.
- GRAB YOUR PARTNER, DO-SI-DO.
- [laughs]
NOW I'VE GOT MY PARTNER.
- HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I LOVE IT.
- THIS IS SO GORGEOUS
OUT HERE. OH, MY GOD.
- ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
- I LOVE IT. IT'S AMAZING.
- WHENEVER I MAKE IT BIG,
I'M BUYING THIS RANCH.
- OH, MY GOD. IT'S GORGEOUS.
- HEY, WHERE'S RUSSELL?
- RIGHT THERE.
- IT'S REALLY AWKWARD SEEING
RUSSELL AFTER THE TEA PARTY.
I THINK EVERYBODY IS TRYING
TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH HIM.
- DID YOU SEE ACE YOUNG IS HERE?
- WHO?
- FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
ACE YOUNG IS SINGING.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHO'S HE?
- ACE YOUNG, FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
YOU KNOW? THE LONG DARK HAIR?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M EXCITED.
- OKAY, WELL, HE'S EVEN CUTER
IN PERSON THAN HE WAS
WHEN I SAW A PHOTO OF HIM.
- OH, MY GOD. HOW EXCITING.
- DANA'S GIFT FOR KENNEDY
IS A PERFORMANCE
FROM HER STEPSON,
CONNOR FLYNN, AND ACE YOUNG.
WHAT'S UP?
I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS SONG.
- YEAH? IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
THE FIRST TIME SONG I HEARD
THE SONG THAT ACE AND CONNOR
WROTE FOR KENNEDY,
I SAT AT MY DESK AND CRIED.
I'M SITTING
IN MY OFFICE BAWLING.
- I LOVE THAT.
- AND I CALLED MY ASSISTANT
AND I SAID, "COME IN HERE
"FOR A MINUTE AND SEE
IF I'M OFF MY ROCKER"...
BECAUSE I AM A LITTLE BIT...
AND SHE STARTED CRYING, TOO.
AND SHE'S 23.
SO I WAS LIKE, "PERFECT,
SHE HAS NO KIDS."
- YES! I LOVE IT.
- YOU LOVE TO MAKE WOMEN CRY?
- I DO. I DO.
[both laugh]
- I'LL TRY
TO KEEP MYSELF TOGETHER.
- NO, DON'T. THAT'S EVEN BETTER.
THIS IS A FESTIVAL.
- THIS IS A FESTIVAL.
THIS IS LIKE, UM,
KENNEDY-PALOOZA.
- SO, HAVE YOU RIDDEN THE PONY?
[both laugh]
- I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
- OKAY, IF YOU WERE ANY CUTER...
YOU'RE KILLING ME RIGHT NOW.
- YOU'D EAT ME UP.
- YEAH. [laughs]
IT'S KILLING ME.
I'M AN OLD WOMAN.
- WE'RE UP TO 187 PEOPLE.
I AM PUTTING A CAP ON IT.
- IT'S GONNA BE
MORE THAN 187 PEOPLE.
- WHY? YOU'VE ONLY
LIVED HERE FIVE YEARS,
HOW CAN YOU KNOW
THAT MANY PEOPLE?
- HE'S LIVED HERE 25 YEARS.
- WE'RE TRIMMING.
WE'RE TRIMMING.
- WE'VE GOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS,
ALL OF OUR FRIENDS,
ALL OF OUR FAMILY,
ALL OF HIS FAMILY,
FAMILY FRIENDS,
YOUR FAMILY FRIENDS.
- WE DON'T HAVE
ANY FAMILY FRIENDS.
- [laughs]
- OKAY, LISTEN.
TODAY, SERIOUSLY,
I WANT TO GO OVER
THE INVITATIONS.
I'M NOT GOING
TO KENNEDY'S PARTY TODAY
BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN PARTY
TO PLAN WITH PANDORA,
WHO'S BEING
VERY DEMANDING LATELY,
AND I'VE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION.
SO, I HAVE TO SPEND THE DAY
PLANNING HER WEDDING.
YOU WANT TO GO
CHOOSE AN INVITATION?
YOU DO?
- HE JUST WINKED,
DID YOU SEE THAT?
- IT'S A MATTER OF URGENCY.
WE HAVE TO GET
SOME THINGS ORGANIZED.
SO, TODAY WE'RE DOING
WEDDING INVITATIONS.
SO, I WANT SOMETHING UNUSUAL,
SEXY, GORGEOUS, SUMPTUOUS.
I WANT PANDORA TO HAVE
SOMETHING OUT OF THIS WORLD.
- HELLO, DARLING.
MWAH. MWAH.
- HELLO, SIR.
NICE TO MEET YOU, FINALLY.
- NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. GREAT.
- HEARD A LOT OF GREAT THINGS.
- THANK YOU.
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
LOOK AT THAT, PANDORA.
OH, I LOVE THAT.
- THAT IS SO CUTE.
- IT'S ALL EXQUISITE.
IS THIS YOUR COMPANY?
- IT IS. IT IS.
WE DO EVERYTHING AS
CUSTOM-DESIGNED,
SO WE CAN, ESSENTIALLY
MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT.
- I HAD NO IDEA THAT
IT WAS THIS KIND OF DECADENT,
THIS EXTENSIVE.
- OF COURSE, DARLING.
YOU GOTTA GO ALL-OUT.
- NO. WE'RE NOT GOING...
- YES, WE ARE, DARLING.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- IT'S A SCROLL.
- OH, MY GOD. ISN'T THAT FUN?
LOOK AT THAT.
WILD, HUH?
I LOVE IT.
REALLY UNUSUAL. I LOVE IT.
LOOK AT THIS.
- OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S TOO BIG A DEAL.
- THAT IS SO EXCITING.
THAT'S EXCITING.
- I LOVE IT. HOT PINK.
WITH A HUGE INVITATION
LIKE THAT, SO IMPRESSIVE.
- I LOVE THAT.
- I LOVE IT.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT.
- YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.
- THIS IS MY WEDDING.
THIS IS MY WEDDING.
I GOT TO HAVE THIS INVITATION.
I LOVE THIS.
- KEVIN,
YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.
NO. STEP BACK. TAKE A BREATH.
THIS IS MY DAY. BACK OFF.
- FLOWERS AND DIAMONDS.
JUST YOU, RIGHT THERE, LISA.
FLOWERS AND DIAMONDS.
THAT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.
- I DO SORT OF WANT PEOPLE TO
OPEN IT AND BE, LIKE, [gasps].
- YOU DON'T WANT JUST...
[small gasp]
I WANT "WOW!", YOU KNOW?
THAT'S WHAT I NEED. [laughs]
- I LOVE THE GIANT BOX,
BUT IS IT TOO MUCH?
- PANDORA, LET'S JUST...
OUT OF THE BOX...
- PANDORA'S BOX, THERE YOU GO.
- OH, PANDORA'S BOX.
- PANDORA'S BOX.
- YEAH. CHECK IT OUT.
- IT IS BEAUTIFUL,
BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- I LOVE IT.
WHEN YOU RECEIVE BOX LIKE THAT,
AND WHEN YOU OPEN UP...
[snaps fingers]
INSTANT SURPRISE.
AND GRAND WEDDING.
- IT'S NOT A GRAND WEDDING,
IT'S GONNA BE ROMANTIC,
IN THE GARDEN.
- AND... AND GRAND.
I LOVE IT.
SO OUTRAGEOUS, YOU KNOW?
YOU NEED ONE LIKE THIS
FOR YOUR WEDDING.
- I LOVE THIS BOX. I LOVE IT.
- ME TOO, PANDORA.
- I'M OBSESSED WITH IT.
- THIS IS INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT.
LISA, YOU GOT IT.
THIS IS THE ONE, ALL RIGHT?
- I FEEL THIS NIGHTMARE
IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING.
- I LOVE IT.
- YOU NAME A CARD, MOMMY.
- THREE OF HEARTS.
- IN HIS HAIR. IT'S IN HIS HAIR.
- JUMP!
- JUMP ON?
- YEAH.
- [laughs]
OH, MY GOD.
[laughter]
- LIKE THIS?
[screams]
NO!
I AM NOT... STOPPING.
[laughter]
- THANK YOU.
WOO!
NO, I'M GOOD. THANKS.
HOW ARE WE GONNA FIND ANYBODY?
KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE SEEN KYLE SINCE
I TOLD HER
I WAS MOVING IN WITH KEN.
THE LAST TIME I SAW HER, SHE WAS
VERY EMOTIONAL AND UPSET.
[both laughing]
- SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S GOOD.
- GO, ALEXIA!
- I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
- OH, MY GOD!
[laughter]
- OKAY.
- YOU STARTED GETTING
THE HANG OF IT.
- GET UP!
- WOW. THIS IS EASY.
- THAT'S EASY.
[laughter]
- I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED
AS MUCH IN MY SISTER'S LIFE
AS I HAVE BEEN.
I SHOULDN'T BE, YOU KNOW,
TRYING TO CONTROL
WHAT SHE'S DOING WITH HER LIFE.
- THERE YA GO! THERE YA GO!
[laughs]
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA HIT A POTHOLE,
AND I'M GONNA GO DOWN.
[laughs]
HI. HOW ARE YOU? - HI.
I'M SO GOOD.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- THANKS FOR HAVING US.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, CARI.
- CARI.
- WELCOME, WELCOME.
- IT'S GOOD TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
- THIS IS FOR KENNEDY.
I DIDN'T WANNA LOSE IT.
I DIDN'T REMEMBER
HOW OLD SHE WAS TURNING, SORRY.
- FIVE. SHE'S FIVE.
- OH, MY GOD.
MY BOYS ARE WITH THEIR DAD
TODAY, BUT I REALLY LIKE TAYLOR,
SO I... I, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T MIND
COMING TO HER KID'S PARTY,
AND I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FUN.
- SO, HAVE FUN.
THERE'S WAHOO FISH TACOS,
AND I HAVE
THE FIREMAN OVER THERE.
KIDS CAN TRY
ON FIRE GEAR IF THEY WANT.
- IS HE CUTE? [laughs]
- SUPER-CUTE, ACTUALLY.
[both laugh]
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO CHECK ON THAT CHILD.
- RIGHT, STAT!
- [laughs]
- YOU WANT TO GO TO THE FIREMAN?
[both laugh]
- FIREMAN'S THAT WAY.
- THIS WAY!
SERIOUSLY.
- LOOK AT THOSE CUTE PONIES.
- POO-POO.
- THAT IS POO-POO.
[gasps] A UNICORN, PORTIA!
THIS LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL, TAYLOR.
THIS IS SUCH A NICE IDEA.
SO NICE.
- SO, YEAH, LISA SAID
SHE WOULD LOVE TO COME,
BUT IF SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP,
IT WASN'T BECAUSE
SHE WAS ANGRY WITH ME.
AND CAMILLE, UM,
IF SHE SHOWED UP,
SHE WOULD BE SHOVELING [bleep]
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
- [laughs]
- I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT HAVE
SHARED PERSONAL INFORMATION
ABOUT MY MARRIAGE WITH CAMILLE,
BUT THEN CAMILLE SHOULDN'T HAVE
BLURTED IT OUT AT A TEA PARTY
IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.
AND I'M STILL MAD AT HER.
- IS SHE GONNA COME?
- SHE WOULD NOT SHOW HER FACE.
- WELL, HAVE YOU GUYS
BEEN TEXTING BACK AND FORTH?
OR WHAT'S HAPPENED?
- SHE'S APOLOGIZED
TO ME 500 TIMES.
"I'M SO SORRY."
"I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU."
"I NEVER MEANT TO BETRAY YOU."
- I KNOW THAT TAYLOR DOESN'T
LIKE WHAT CAMILLE HAS SAID,
BUT, IN ALL FAIRNESS,
CAMILLE IS ONLY REPEATING
WHAT TAYLOR HAS TOLD US.
IT'S NOT FAIR FOR HER TO BE
UPSET WITH CAMILLE ABOUT THIS.
- AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
SHE IS DONE WITH ME.
- COMING UP...
- LISA'S STAYING
AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
WHICH IS OUR COMPETITION,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULD DO THAT.
IT'S RUDE.
- READY, BOYS?
- THANKS.
- OVER HERE. COME ON.
AFTER THE TEA PARTY,
I AM SO CONFUSED ABOUT TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL AND THEIR MARRIAGE.
HOWEVER, AS HER FRIEND,
I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER.
HI. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
MWAH.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- OH, SO DO YOU GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
- IS YOUR BACK BAD?
- HUH?
- IS YOUR BACK BAD?
- NO, MY HAMSTRINGS
ARE VERY TIGHT.
- OR ARE YOUR JEANS TOO TIGHT?
[both laugh]
- ANYTHING NEW?
- I MEAN, LISA'S NOT HERE.
CAMILLE'S NOT HERE.
- OKAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERED ME
THOUGH, ADRIENNE, THE OTHER DAY?
IS EVERYBODY LEFT
REALLY UPSET, YOU KNOW?
AND NOW, TAYLOR DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO CAMILLE AT ALL...
- NO, NO, NO. I CAN TELL YOU
WHAT I'M UPSET ABOUT.
I'M UPSET BECAUSE LISA
DIDN'T COME TO ME
FOR HER DAUGHTER'S
ENGAGEMENT PARTY
TO STAY AT THE PALMS.
THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE,
I HAD HEARD THAT LISA
WAS THROWING PANDORA'S
BACHELORETTE PARTY
AT ONE OF OUR COMPETING CASINOS.
THEY'RE STAYING
AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
WHICH IS OUR COMPETITION,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULD DO THAT.
WHY DIDN'T SHE COME TO ME FIRST?
I WOULD HAVE ROLLED OUT
THE RED CARPET FOR HER.
IT'S RUDE.
- RIGHT.
- IT'S NOT ONLY RUDE.
IT'S... IT'S NOT...
I TRY TO PROMOTE HER RESTAURANT.
"HER FOOD'S GREAT, BLAH BLAH
BLAH." YOU KNOW?
I WOULD APPRECIATE A LITTLE
COMMON COURTESY BACK.
- I GO TO HER RESTAURANT WITH
BUSINESS PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
- YOU THINK SHE WAS
UNCOMFORTABLE TO ASK YOU?
- NO! NO, I DON'T.
LISA'S NEVER UNCOMFORTABLE
TO ASK FOR THINGS.
SORRY, BUT NO.
LISA'S VERY DIRECT.
SO WHY WASN'T SHE DIRECT
WITH ME WHEN, YOU KNOW?
- RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TO ASK HER.
- IT HURTS MY FEELINGS
THAT LISA ISN'T SUPPORTING ME.
[sighs]
- I JUST THINK IT'S WEIRD.
THERE'S A LOT OF CRACKS
IN OUR LITTLE GROUP RIGHT NOW.
- WE HAVE AN ISSUE.
MY DAUGHTER
HAD A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION.
- [crying]
- JULIE WENT
TO GET YOUR DRESS, LOVE.
OH, LOOK, THERE'S YOUR DRESSES.
OKAY, WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?
GO PICK IT, AND HURRY.
- OH, I LOVE YOUR BOOTS.
- THANK YOU. FALCONHEAD.
- THOSE ARE AWESOME.
I JUST LEARNED
ABOUT COWBOY STUFF.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT, REALLY, IT WAS.
[laughs]
- I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A COWGIRL.
MATTER OF FACT, WHEN I WENT
TO BUY MY FIRST HORSE,
I THOUGHT I WAS COWBOY JANE,
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN RIDING
DISNEY HORSES MY WHOLE LIFE.
SO I GET UP THERE, AND I'M LIKE,
"YES, I'M GONNA BUY A HORSE,"
AND I'M EXPECTING THEM TO, LIKE,
GET DOWN LIKE THIS,
AND I'M LIKE,
"UM, THE HORSE,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND."
AND THEY'RE LIKE,
"WELL, HOP UP."
I'M LIKE, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND...
"OH! OH, OKAY."
AND SO I, LIKE,
GET ON THE HORSE, I'M LIKE...
"OH, MY GOD!"
"THIS IS A BAD HORSE!
THIS IS A VERY BAD HORSE!"
- I WAS REALLY NERVOUS
TO SEE KIM
JUST BECAUSE KIM AND I
HAD ZERO INTERACTION
DURING SPA DAY.
- DID YOU SEE BRANDI?
- NOPE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DECIDED?
NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY
THAT'S GONNA BE NEGATIVE,
SO TO TALK LIKE THAT?
IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME.
- I WANNA SAY HI TO YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
- FINE.
- OKAY.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TALKING TO ME?
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
YOU DON'T EXIST.
SO...
- I WANTED TO BREAK THE ICE
AND BE LIKE, "YO, IT'S ALL GOOD.
"SORRY,
I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU."
BUT I-I CAN'T SPEAK FOR KIM.
I MEAN, KIM CAN'T EVEN
SPEAK FOR HERSELF, SO...
CLEARLY, SHE DOESN'T
SAY ANYTHING.
BYE. BYE.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
- [laughs]
AWKWARD.
- I HAVE A NEW SAYING
ABOUT, UH, WHO WEARS
THE PANTS IN MY FAMILY.
I CAN TELL YOU WHO WEARS THEM.
I WEAR THE PANTS IN MY FAMILY.
- SOMEONE SAID THAT ALREADY,
BY THE WAY.
- YOU'RE NOT WEARING NO
FRIGGIN' PANTS IN YOUR FAMILY.
- SHE JUST PICKS THE COLOR,
THE SIZE... [all laugh]
- I BUY THEM.
- YOU JUST... YOU JUST PUT 'EM ON.
- EXCUSE ME, GUYS. HI.
- HEY, BRANDI.
- HI, HONEY.
- WELL, I TRIED
TO TALK TO YOUR SISTER
JUST TO TRY
TO BREAK THE ICE, BUT...
- MY SISTER?
- YEAH.
- OH, I AM LIKE, I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND.
WHAT HAPPENED?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I WANT IT ALL UNDER THE BRIDGE.
IT'S JUST KILLING ME.
TRYING TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON,
AND I WANT IT TO GO AWAY
A LITTLE BIT,
BUT IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
[laughs]
- OH, MY GOD. WHAT?
WAS SHE... AH...
- SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU?
- OH, REALLY, WE ONLY HAVE
REALLY BAD IMPRESSIONS
OF ONE ANOTHER.
- I WISH BRANDI A LOT OF LUCK
WITH KIM FORGIVING HER.
WHEN KIM IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING,
SHE DOES NOT LET GO
FOR A LONG TIME.
- IF SHE MEANT SOMETHING TO ME,
I WOULD WANT AN APOLOGY.
SHE'S NOT WORTH IT.
THE WAY SHE SPOKE...
- WAS SO INTENSE.
- WAS SO DISGUSTING.
I HAVE NO DESIRE
FOR EVEN AN APOLOGY.
- I KNOW. I UNDERSTAND.
I SAW IT IN YOUR FACE.
- NO, THANK YOU.
- KENNEDY'S HAVING FUN,
SHE HAS ALL
OF HER FRIENDS THERE,
THERE'S LOTS TO DO,
AND IT'S A GREAT DAY.
HE'S ON AMERICAN IDOL.
THIS IS KENNEDY.
- WHAT'S UP?
HOW ARE YOU, KENNEDY?
- THIS IS SIENNA...
OH! SHE'S SHY.
- CAN I GET A HUG?
MAY I HAVE A HUG?
THANK YOU.
YEAH, YOU'RE A HUGGER.
- ALL RIGHT, SHE'S A HUGGER.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
- SHE'S JUST A BIT SHY.
ALL RIGHT.
- HEY, TAYLOR?
- YEAH?
- I'M WAITING
FOR THE HORSE TO GET HERE.
- OKAY.
- 4:00.
- I'M GONNA BRING THE CAKE DOWN.
- WHAT WE ARE GONNA DO,
WE'RE GONNA TAKE
A FAMILY PICTURE RIGHT NOW...
- OH PLEASE,
WE GOTTA DO THE CAKE.
- WE'RE BRINGIN' THE CAKE DOWN
AND SINGIN' THE SONG.
- WE HAVE TO DO THE CAKE.
- LET'S DO THAT AT 4:00.
- OKAY, WE HAD THREE PLANS.
- WE... WE... WE... THIS
HAS REALLY GOTTA HAPPEN NOW.
- DANA, WOULD YOU RELAX?
- OKAY.
- WE HAVE A VERY NICE GIFT
THAT IS GONNA BE READY AT 4:00.
- RIGHT, BUT I'M SAYING
THAT WE DON'T HAVE...
OH, ANYWAY, RUSSELL.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
- NOTHING.
WHAT REALLY UPSET ME
WAS THAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
ABOUT KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY.
HE'S MORE CONCERNED
ABOUT EVERYONE SEEING HIM
AS FATHER OF THE YEAR.
- I DO NOT KNOW WHAT
TO THINK ABOUT TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL'S MARRIAGE.
SHE'S HAPPY, SHE'S NOT HAPPY.
THERE'S TROUBLE,
THERE'S NOT TROUBLE.
I JUST AM COMPLETELY
BAFFLED BY THIS.
- COMING UP...
- THIS IS THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW
THAT HAS LIPS BIGGER THAN MINE.
- MAURICIO AND I ARE GONNA
GO RIDE THE BULL SOON.
I'M A JEWISH KID
AND I DON'T RIDE BULLS AT ALL.
- HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET
YOU'LL DO VERY WELL?
LET'S ASK THE GUY HOW TO DO IT.
- WHAT'S THE TECHNIQUE?
- IS THERE A TECHNIQUE, SIR?
BALANCE? THAT'S IT?
- COME ON, MAURICIO.
YEE-HAW!
- WOO-HOO!
- GOOD JOB, MAURICIO.
- AW, HE'S GOOD.
[laughter]
- WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW DO YOU GET ON IT?
[grunts] HOLD ON.
[both laughing]
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- [grunt]
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- YEAH, THIS IS EASY.
- [laughs]
- AM I REALLY MARRIED
TO THIS MAN?
- AW, AT LEAST
HE GOT ON THE HORSE.
[laughter]
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING TODAY
TO CELEBRATE MY DAUGHTER
TURNING FIVE,
AND THIS SEEMS FITTING
FOR A FIFTH BIRTHDAY PARTY,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
NOW I'M A BIT OVERWHELMED
BECAUSE I AM
A GIRL FROM OKLAHOMA
WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN
FOUND MYSELF
IN THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
AND I COULDN'T IMAGINE
EVER HAVING TWO GUYS LIKE THIS
MAKE A SONG UP FOR MY DAUGHTER.
SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[soft acoustic guitar]
- ♪♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES
LEAD ME THROUGH YOUR DREAMS ♪♪
♪♪ IT'S FLYING
THROUGH THE CLOUDS ♪♪
♪♪ YOU ARE THE PILOT ♪♪
♪♪ IT'S BEAUTIFUL ♪♪
- KENNEDY,
LISTEN TO YOUR SONG, BABY.
- ♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY TO ME ♪♪
- I JUST THOUGHT
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL,
AND IT REALLY SPEAKS
TO EVERY MOTHER'S HEART
THAT YOUR CHILDREN DO REALLY
MAKE EVERY DAY A SPECIAL DAY.
- YOU GUYS, SING IT WITH US.
YOU MAKE EVERY DAY A BIRTHDAY.
♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY TO ME ♪♪
DO IT AGAIN! COME ON!
- WHILE ACE WAS SINGING,
HE HAD A DRINK IN HIS HAND,
AND HE'S, LIKE,
POINTING AT THE CROWD,
AND HE'S, LIKE,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
[laughs]
IT WAS FUNNY. [laughs]
- ♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY ♪♪
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENNEDY.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENNEDY.
- WOO!
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
WE HAVE A SURPRISE RIGHT HERE.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KENNEDY HAS A BRAND-NEW HORSE.
- GETTING KENNEDY A HORSE
IS THE WORST IDEA.
I MEAN,
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE A DOG,
HOW ARE YOU GONNA
HANDLE A HORSE?
- THIS IS THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW
THAT HAS LIPS BIGGER THAN MINE.
[laughs]
- TAYLOR'S BEEN COMPLAINING
ABOUT HER MARRIAGE
FOR FOUR YEARS.
I THINK PART OF TAYLOR'S ISSUE
IS SHE'S AFRAID TO BE ALONE,
AND SO ANYTHING'S
BETTER THAN BEING ALONE.
- HOLD ON.
- OH, YAY.
- RUSSELL AND I HAVE
A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE.
THAT'S A FACT. IT'S BEEN
DIFFICULT FOR A LONG TIME.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY.
- FINDING REAL HAPPINESS
WITH ANOTHER PERSON
TAKES A LOT OF WORK.
BUT I WANT TO BE HAPPY,
ABSOLUTELY.
- I DON'T THINK TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL EVER HAD THAT
IN-LOVE FEELING
WHERE THEY WERE JUST
CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER
AND RESPECTED EACH OTHER.
SO, I FEEL THAT SHE'S FIGHTING
FOR SOMETHING THAT
SHE'S NEVER HAD TO BEGIN WITH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I WAS THINKING,
TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
LIKE, THIS LADY,
SHE'S A PORN STAR.
SO, SHE COMES,
AND SHE TEACHES YOU HOW TO,
LIKE, DO BJs AND STUFF.
- I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I'M A LITTLE UPSET.
- WITH?
- YOU. AND MY FEELINGS ARE HURT.
- OKAY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- HEY.
- HI!
- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE IN THERE.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- ARE YA READY?
- YES.
- HERE WE GO.
- SO, KENNEDY IS TURNING FIVE.
THIS YEAR, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A COWBOY THEME PARTY FOR HER.
- HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE WE FEEDING, TAYLOR?
Both: 200.
- I'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEBODY
THAT I'VE BEEN KEEPING
A LITTLE PRIVATE.
SO, WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
- I FEEL LIKE THAT'S NOT
SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANNA DO.
- SO, WHAT'S
THE SPECIAL OCCASION?
JUST TEA FOR FUN?
- I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD
START SAYING WHAT THEY MEAN.
- BUT EVERYTHING, TAYLOR?
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT
EVERYTHING OUT THERE.
THIS IS AN INTERVENTION
THAT WAS UNEXPECTED,
BUT POSSIBLY NEEDED.
BECAUSE WE'RE ALL
PROTECTING YOU.
- ABOUT MY MARRIAGE?
- WE DON'T SAY THAT HE HITS YOU.
[upbeat music]
- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,
AND I MAKE THE RULES.
- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,
BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.
- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,
BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.
- I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,
AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY,
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK
FOR IT.
- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
FREEDOM IS.
- EVERYONE'S TALKING
BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACK,
AND LET'S ALL JUST START
BEING HONEST.
- BUT EVERYTHING, TAYLOR?
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT
EVERYTHING OUT THERE.
YOU SAID "EVERYTHING."
I WOULD BE CAREFUL,
WITH YOU SAYING THAT,
BECAUSE WE'RE ALL
PROTECTING YOU.
- ABOUT MY MARRIAGE?
- BUT WHAT YOU TOLD US
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
WHAT YOU TOLD US
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
WE'VE BEEN PROTECTING YOU,
BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY
THAT HE HITS YOU.
BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY
THAT HE BROKE YOUR JAW,
OR THAT HE...
- THREW YOU IN THE BATH.
- HE BEAT YOU UP.
AND HE... HE HITS YOU.
WE DON'T SAY THAT,
BUT NOW WE SAID IT, OKAY?
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO WALK AROUND GOING,
"YEAH, WE CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE RUSSELL."
BUT WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE,
BECAUSE YOU COME OVER
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SIGNS
OF PHYSICAL ABUSE ON YOUR BODY.
- THAT'S REALLY UNCOOL.
- MM-HMM.
YES, IT'S REALLY UNCOOL.
BUT YOU SET IT UP, TAYLOR.
- WE'VE ALL TALKED TO TAYLOR
MANY TIMES IN PRIVATE,
BUT I THINK SHE WAS SHOCKED
THAT CAMILLE LAID IT OUT
ON THE TABLE.
CAMILLE'S ANGRY
AT THE INCONSISTENCIES
WITH TAYLOR AND RUSSELL'S
RELATIONSHIP,
AND THIS HAS JUST BEEN THE STRAW
THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.
- YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST.
YOU NEED TO BE HONEST!
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT COOL.
- WHAT SHE JUST SAID WAS ABOVE
AND BEYOND WHAT NEEDS TO...
- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S BEEN
SKATING AROUND IT FOR SO LONG.
I, AS I SAID, TAYLOR,
I BELIEVED WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE,
TO ME, INITIALLY.
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T LIKE HIM.
- AND I APPRECIATE THAT, BUT
YOU'VE NEVER LIKED ME EITHER.
- NO, I WAS CONFUSED BY YOU.
- AND I NEEDED YOU.
AND I... FELT LIKE
A JUNIOR-HIGH GIRL
WHO WANTED TO BE FRIENDS
WITH THE POPULAR GIRL.
AND IT FELT AWFUL.
- I'M SORRY
I MADE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.
- WELL, PART OF IT'S MY FAULT.
- BUT I WAS CONFUSED BY YOU,
AND I-I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO BELIEVE.
- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
I HAD NO IDEA, BECAUSE
YOU'VE NEVER SAID IT TO ME.
SO, I FORGIVE YOU.
- I REALLY SAW
A DIFFERENT SIDE OF TAYLOR,
WHERE SHE WAS DESPERATE
FOR MY FRIENDSHIP.
AND I FELT KIND OF HUMBLED
BY THE FACT THAT I HADN'T
REALLY SUPPORTED HER.
WOW.
WELL, I FEEL BETTER
ABOUT IT ALL, IN A WAY.
- SO I'M GLAD, LISA,
HONESTLY, MY HAND TO GOD,
THAT YOU AND I
HAVE RESOLVED THINGS,
BECAUSE NOW I CAN JUST BE
AS HONEST AS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE WITH YOU.
- THAT'S RESOLVED?
YOU GUYS HAVE HAD
THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS
TOWARDS EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG,
AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN...
[snaps fingers]
IT'S ALL FINISHED?
EVERYTHING'S HUNKY-DORY?
THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
- NO, BUT I WANT TO BE...
I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH LISA,
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN
BRAVE ENOUGH...
- IT HAS GOT A CERTAIN AMOUNT
OF RESOLUTION, YEAH.
- BECAUSE I'VE NEVER
BEEN ABLE TO SPEAK MY MIND,
AND MAYBE I DIDN'T DO IT WELL,
BUT NOW, THE DOOR'S OPEN.
- THAT'S OKAY.
- FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE,
CONFIDENT ENOUGH
TO JUST BE HONEST.
WE'RE GONNA BE FRIENDS. - OKAY.
AND YOU JUST TELL ME THE...
- PINKY SWEAR.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL,
I KNEW IT.
- [laughs]
- YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH.
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE TRUTH
EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
- OKAY. SWEAR?
- I SWEAR.
- I FEEL THAT I HAVE TO NOW
WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN.
I THINK THAT ANY DOUBTS
I'VE HAD IN THE PAST,
I HAVE TO ERASE
BECAUSE I THINK THIS GIRL
NEEDS MORE SUPPORT.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION.
- IT'S A FIRST.
- IS TBE.
- SO THAT'S NOT A SHIP?
- WELL, WHAT KIND OF SHIP
WOULD THIS BE?
IT'S THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
- NOW THAT
I'VE MOVED IN WITH KEN,
- IT'S DEFINITELY
MORE CHALLENGING, YOU KNOW.
WE'VE GOT THE STRESS
OF THE MOVE,
KIDS THAT ARE GOING
THROUGH THINGS,
AND IT'S...
IT'S BEEN CHALLENGING.
- YOU HAD A VISION.
- I HAD A VISION.
TRIPPING THE SHIP. - [sighs]
I MEAN, THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
- THE BRIDGE.
- YEAH.
I REALLY THINK THIS
IS AN AWESOME
OVER-THE-FIREPLACE PIECE,
THAT... [stammering]
I THINK IT'S AWESOME!
IT SHOULD GO OVER THE FIREPLACE!
- I CAN TRY IT,
SEE WHAT I THINK.
- THINK?
KYLE CRIED WHEN I TOLD HER
THAT KEN AND I
WERE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
IT SADDENED ME TO SEE HER SAD.
AND I WANTED HER
TO SEE ME HAPPY.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I TRIED
TO SHOW HER THE POSITIVE
AND HOPED THAT SHE WOULD WISH
THE BEST FOR ME.
- HOLD THE OTHER SIDE.
- WAIT, WAIT. GIVE ME A SECOND.
- I GOT IT.
- HOLD ON. WAIT.
YOU HAVE TO HOLD
HIS SIDE FOR A SECOND.
- OKAY. WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
PUT THIS INTO HERE.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, NOW...
GO LIKE THIS. THAT'S STRAIGHT.
NO, NO, NO. DOWN.
- DO YOU MIND?
JUST GO LOOK. - JUST HOLD IT.
- WE ARE BOTH CONTROL FREAKS.
WE ARE BOTH STUBBORN.
I'M AN ARABIAN HORSE, YOU KNOW?
[screeches]
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- I... IT'S AWESOME.
- I LIKE IT.
- I DO, TOO.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I KNOW!
- A WOMAN'S TOUCH.
- I'M RIGHT, HUH?
- OKAY. YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
I KNOW. - OKAY.
- THAT'S FINE, YEAH.
DOES THAT WORK?
- I REALLY LIKE THE WAY
IT STICKS OUT
OVER THE FIREPLACE LIKE THAT.
- ME TOO.
- BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL
TO FIND OUT IF THIS
IS THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
FOR ME.
[both laugh]
- I'M MAKING YOU SOME GRAPES.
- I DON'T WANT THESE.
- OKAY. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- MAMA, I WANT TO MAKE,
LIKE, A REAL SNACK.
- A REAL SNACK?
WHAT'S A REAL SNACK?
[knock at door]
- KYLE!
HI, HONEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?
KYLE.
- HELLO?
- HI.
BROUGHT A COUPLE THINGS OVER.
HI.
- HELLO.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
[baby talk]
I WANTED YOU
TO SEE SOME FABRICS,
BECAUSE WE NEED
SOME COLOR IN THIS HOUSE.
- WE... WE DEFINITELY NEED COLOR.
- I KNOW.
- I'M SO NOT
IN THE MINDSET RIGHT NOW.
- WHY?
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- WHAT COLOR IS THIS?
- IT'S BLUE.
- I'LL TELL YOU,
BUT I DON'T WANT HER
TO HEAR THIS.
AFTER THE TEA PARTY,
I'M JUST LOST NOW.
I'M CONFUSED. I DON'T KNOW.
- KYLE, PLEASE.
COME ON, I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
- I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.
- BUT I REALLY WANT
TO SHOW YOU THESE FABRICS, TOO.
I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO INTENSE,
BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET
SOME COLOR IN THE HOUSE.
- I KNOW, BUT IT IS INTENSE.
- OKAY. WHAT IS IT?
- WELL, YESTERDAY,
LISA HAD A TEA AT HER HOUSE,
AND IT WAS CAMILLE, TAYLOR,
LISA, ADRIENNE, AND ME.
- YEAH.
- THINGS GOT A LITTLE HEATED.
- HI, GIRLS.
- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?
HEY, FAYE.
- RIGHT WHEN I WAS GETTING
SERIOUS INFORMATION.
- WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S WRONG?
- I WAS TELLING HER
ABOUT THE TEA PARTY YESTERDAY.
YOU KNOW THE STUFF
THAT TAYLOR HAS SHARED WITH ME,
AND WITH YOU, AT TIMES, ABOUT...
THE ABUSE. - THE ABUSE.
- BUT, I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS
ALL THE DETAILS.
SO CAMILLE,
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT,
SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE ABUSE.
I THINK TAYLOR'S SCARED
THAT RUSSELL MAY FIND OUT
THAT SHE'S TOLD US THIS STUFF.
- YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN WORKING
WITH THIS FOR 19 YEARS.
I KNOW THE PATTERNS,
I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS
TO KNOW ABOUT IT, UNFORTUNATELY.
AND IT'S DANGEROUS.
- NOW, TAYLOR, SHE'S REALLY,
REALLY UPSET WITH CAMILLE.
- OF COURSE SHE IS.
AND SHE'S PROBABLY EMBARRASSED.
- IS THAT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T
WANT IT TO COME OUT?
IS THAT WHAT THE DEAL IS?
- SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT
TO ADDRESS IT YET.
- I THINK THAT'S WHY I HAVE
A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING IT,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU
DON'T SEE SOMETHING,
AND THEN YOU SEE PEOPLE
ACTING HAPPY AT TIMES...
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, THEY DON'T
HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE.
BUT THEN, THEN, YOU KNOW,
THIS WEEKEND WE'RE GOING
TO KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY,
AND EVERYONE'S ALL HAPPY
AND THEY'RE DOING
THE BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S VERY CONFUSING.
- AFTER THE ABUSE, TYPICALLY,
THERE'S THE HONEYMOON PERIOD,
WHERE A MAN JUST ROMANCES YOU.
AND THAT'S WHY
THESE WOMEN GO BACK.
HE SENDS YOU FLOWERS,
AND HE'S, "I LOVE YOU,
I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN."
AND THEN THE WOMAN,
BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM,
SHE BELIEVES HIM,
AND SHE WANTS TO PRETEND
OR ASSUME THAT IT'LL
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
- YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I HAVE SAID TO HER,
"TAYLOR, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE,
AND IF THIS,
WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME,
IS TRUE, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE"?
I CAN'T BELIEVE...
AND I SAY THIS TO HER
AND THEN, NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE HAPPY.
AND THEN I'M THINKING,
"OH, GREAT.
"HERE I'VE SAID THIS,
AND THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER."
- IT'S SO HARD
WHEN YOU SEE RUSSELL...
- AND THEN HE'S NICE TO ME,
AND I SEE HIM PLAY WITH KENNEDY.
- I KNOW. IT'S SO SAD.
- I'M SO CONFUSED BY EVERYTHING.
I HAVE NO REASON NOT TO BELIEVE
IT'S THE TRUTH, YOU KNOW?
BUT I JUST... IT'S SO HARD
FOR ME TO SEE SOMEONE
STILL STAYING THERE, TOGETHER.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
WITH BLACK EYES
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT IT'S NOT REALLY HAPPENING.
- I'M SO CONFUSED BY EVERYTHING.
- IN YOUR CASE,
I THINK ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS JUST LOVE HER LIKE YOU DO.
I MEAN, YOU'VE BEEN
SUCH A GREAT FRIEND.
- COMING UP...
- THERE ARE THINGS
THAT YOU SAID THAT SHE SAID.
THOSE THINGS, YOU KNOW,
WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
- I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A FRIEND.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, BEAUTY.
HOW ARE YOU? GIVE ME A KISS.
MWAH.
WHAT'S THIS? - I GOT IT.
- BRIDESMAIDS' DRESS.
- OH, REALLY?
- IT'S PERFECT.
- OKAY, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
HOLD IT UP.
- IT'S OUR FIRST
PHYSICAL ARTICLE OF THE WEDDING.
- YES, NOW HOLD IT UP, DARLING.
OH, I LOVE IT. YES.
- ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- PERFECT.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT.
- SUDDENLY SEEING MY DAUGHTER
WITH HER BRIDESMAIDS' DRESS,
IT'S LIKE, "OH, GOOD LORD.
IT'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER."
WE'RE STARTING TO GET EXCITED.
SO YOU'VE GOT TO ORDER...
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FOUR?
- YEAH.
I WANT TO TAKE IT TO VEGAS,
'CAUSE MY, YOU KNOW,
MY MAID OF HONOR
IS FLYING IN
FOR THE BACHELORETTE.
YOU HAVE TO COME.
- PANDORA WANTS TO HAVE
HER BACHELORETTE PARTY
WITH ALL HER FRIENDS
IN LAS VEGAS.
AND A DEAR FRIEND OF OURS
FOR MANY YEARS,
WHO WAS THE CREATOR
OF PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
HAS OFFERED TO HOST
PANDY'S BACHELORETTE PARTY.
- YOU HAVE TO COME. COME ON.
I HAVE ONE BACHELORETTE PARTY
IN MY LIFE.
COME ON.
YOU NIXED THE ANNABELLA.
YOU NEED TO GO
TO THE CHIPPENDALES?
- PANDORA, WE'VE HAD
THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE.
- PLEASE?
- I DON'T TO HANG OUT
WITH A BUNCH OF 25-YEAR-OLDS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SEE
THE CHIPMUNKS IN ACTION.
I MIGHT NEVER COME BACK.
[laughs]
YOU THINK I'VE GOT
NOTHING BETTER TO DO
THAN TO GYRATE AROUND
WITH A LOT OF NAKED MEN?
- NO. I DON'T.
- THAT'S TRUE, I HAVEN'T.
LET'S GO.
- HEY, GIRLS.
Both: HI.
- SO SORRY I'M LATE.
TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET HERE.
ALMOST TWO HOURS IN TRAFFIC.
- OH, MY GOSH.
WE GOTTA GET YOU BACK IN CLOSER.
- I KNOW.
- OH, I FORGOT THE OTHER CHEEK.
[overlapping chatter]
- SO, HOW ARE YOU?
- TIRED.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANKS. THANKS.
HAD TO GO
TO MY SON'S SCHOOL THIS MORNING,
HE HAD A OPEN HOUSE.
SO THEY GO OVER, LIKE,
EVERYTHING THEY DO.
- IT'S SO CUTE.
THEY GET SO EXCITED
TO SHOW EVERY LITTLE THING
ON THE WALL.
I GET SO CHOKED UP
WHEN THEY, YOU KNOW,
THEY WRITE A LITTLE POEM
OR A STORY.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- I GET SO CHOKED UP.
- I KNOW. I DO TOO.
- WELL, MY MOM ALWAYS SAID
YOU CAN NEVER LOVE A MAN
LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN.
- EXACTLY.
- OH, IT'S SO TRUE.
- THEY CAN DO NO WRONG.
AND THE HUSBAND CAN.
[all laugh]
- HELLO? LIVING PROOF.
THE HUSBAND JUST TAKES OFF.
- HEY, HOW YA DOIN'? all: HI.
- CAN I GET YOU STARTED
WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- OH, LET'S SEE.
CAN I GET A COKE?
- AWESOME. YEAH.
- WHAT IS YOUR SOUP OF THE DAY?
- ROASTED RED PEPPER.
DO YOU WANNA TRY IT? - YEAH.
- I THINK I'M GONNA GET
THE VEGGIE BURGER.
- THE VEGGIE BURGER?
- YEAH.
- I'LL GET
THE CRISPY CHICKEN TENDERS.
- SHE'S GONNA HAVE
THE HAPPY MEAL.
[laughs]
- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GET YOU THAT SOUP.
- I FEEL SO TERRIBLE
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
I DO, I FEEL...
- I FEEL TERRIBLE TOO.
- HAVE YOU TALKED TO TAYLOR?
- HAVE I? NO.
- I TEXTED TAYLOR, LIKE,
MAYBE THREE OR FOUR TIMES,
"I'M SO SORRY.
I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU."
- AND TAYLOR HASN'T REPLIED
TO ANY OF YOUR...
- OH, NO.
TAYLOR WON'T REPLY
TO ANY OF MY TEXTS.
- YOU KNOW, YOU WANT
TO BE HER FRIEND.
BUT YOU DON'T WANT
TO SEE YOUR FRIEND BEING...
- HURT OR PUT IN HARM'S WAY,
AND YOU WANT TO PROTECT THEM.
- I THOUGHT
SHE COULD UNDERSTAND THAT.
- I THOUGHT SO TOO.
- I THINK SHE KNOWS
THAT WE ALL HAVE CONCERNS.
I MEAN, THERE ARE THINGS
THAT YOU SAID THAT SHE SAID.
THOSE THINGS, YOU KNOW,
WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
- YES.
I SAID EXACTLY WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
TAYLOR LOOKED AT ME
AND SHE KEPT NODDING HER HEAD,
"YEAH, TELL ME."
DON'T GOAD ME INTO
SAYING SOMETHING
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SAY IT.
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A FRIEND.
AND WHEN YOU HEAR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
YOU WANT TO REACH OUT TO
SOMEBODY AND HELP THEM.
THAT'S ALL I WAS TRYING TO BE.
- [sighs]
SO, THE WHOLE THING
IS SO CONFUSING TO ME.
- IT'S ALMOST LIKE
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
THAT WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT.
- IT'S OUT THERE NOW.
- EVERY GIRL AT THAT TEA
KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON,
SO I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE
I WAS EXPOSING ANYTHING
THAT WE DIDN'T ALL KNOW.
I MEAN, SHE GOES AROUND
TELLING ALL THE GIRLS THIS,
BUT FOR HER TO HEAR IT HERSELF?
MAYBE IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.
OBVIOUSLY.
OBVIOUSLY, IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT
FOR HER TO HEAR.
- SO, HOW DO WE RECTIFY?
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T...
I'VE REACHED OUT.
I KNOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED
IN ME, RIGHTFULLY SO.
I UNDERSTAND.
- WELL, WHY DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
IN THE WRONG HERE.
CAMILLE IS JUST BEING HONEST
ABOUT WHAT TAYLOR'S TOLD HER.
IF SHE DOESN'T WANT US TO BE
INVOLVED IN HER RELATIONSHIP,
SHE SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON,
BECAUSE THEN WHEN IT'S SO,
UM, HARD FOR US TO HANDLE,
THEN OF COURSE WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE AN OPINION.
SO MAYBE SHE
SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING?
LET HER THERAPIST HANDLE IT.
LET THE PROFESSIONALS HANDLE IT.
AND I THINK THAT'S
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
- ALL I KNOW IS,
I WOULD NO WAY STILL BE THERE.
- KENNEDY IS TURNING FIVE,
AND WE'RE HAVING HER PARTY
AT THE SADDLEROCK RANCH
IN MALIBU.
IT'S A HUGE, BEAUTIFUL RANCH
WITH ANIMALS ALL AROUND US,
AND THE VINEYARDS THERE.
IT'S JUST
AN INCREDIBLY SERENE PLACE.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
THE THEME THIS YEAR
IS A COUNTY FAIR,
AND SO THERE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF ACTIVITIES.
WE HAVE A PETTING ZOO,
PONY RIDES, A MECHANICAL BULL,
FISH TACOS, BOUNCE HOUSE,
A MECHANICAL BULL.
DID I ALREADY SAY THAT?
- LOOK AT THESE CUTE COWGIRLS.
- HELLO, MISSY.
- HELLO.
- WHERE'S BOOMER?
- OOH, YOUR MAKEUP LOOKS PRETTY.
- SHE DID A GOOD JOB,
DIDN'T SHE?
- BOOMER, I JUST
GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH.
THEY'LL BE SET UP BY 12:30.
- OKAY, GREAT.
- YEAH.
- THEY'RE STRESSING ME.
- UH-HUH. LIL' BIT.
OKAY, LET ME RUN
SOME STUFF BY YOU.
WE'RE HAVING TO SET UP
UP HERE AND WE'RE GONNA
PUT THE TABLES OVER THERE.
- OKAY.
- SO THEN WE HAVE STAGE,
FOOD, TABLES, AND THEN MAYBE
THE BOUNCIES EITHER
HERE OR UP THERE.
- AND WHAT ABOUT
THE PETTING ZOO?
- I THINK DOWN HERE, YEAH?
- OKAY.
THE ANIMALS HAVEN'T BEEN
UNLOADED FOR THE PETTING ZOO
OR THE PONY RIDES.
THE BOUNCE HOUSE
HAS NOT BEEN INFLATED.
THE MECHANICAL BULL'S
NOT BEEN INFLATED.
THE CHAIRS AND TABLES
AREN'T EVEN SET UP.
THE WHOLE THING
IS A DISASTER AT THIS POINT.
HI THERE.
DO YOU ONLY
HAVE THE MECHANICAL BULL?
- I GOT THE MECHANICAL BULL.
- GREAT, HOW LONG WILL
IT TAKE YOU TO SET THAT UP?
- UH, 25 MINUTES.
- 25 MINUTES.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU
TO UNLOAD THIS TRACKLESS TRAIN?
- YEAH, I THINK PROBABLY,
LIKE, UH, 20-25 MINUTES,
PROBABLY.
- 25 MINUTES. OKAY.
I'LL BE BACK
TO CHECK ON YOU AT THAT POINT.
I DON'T NEED THIS STRESS.
I'VE GOT 250 PEOPLE COMING.
- KENNEDY, YOU LOOK SO CUTE.
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
CHECK OUT MY COWBOY GEAR.
- I LIKE DANA
WALTZING IN AT NOON.
THIS IS GREAT.
HI, DARLING!
NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP!
- LAST YEAR
I WAS REALLY INVOLVED
WITH KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
THIS YEAR, THE ONLY THING
I'M REALLY COORDINATING
IS THE ENTERTAINMENT.
BUT TAYLOR REALLY WANTED
TO HANDLE IT
MOSTLY HERSELF THIS YEAR.
SO, WOULD IT HELP YOU
IF I SET UP CHAIRS AND TABLES?
- SURE. YEAH.
- IS THAT THE RENTAL COMPANY?
- YES.
THEY WERE ONLY LIKE
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE.
WILL YOU LET THEM KNOW
THAT THEY NEED TO ALSO
TO BE SETTING UP TABLES
IN THIS AREA?
- YUP.
I'M GONNA GET IT DONE RIGHT NOW.
HOW MANY TABLES DO WE HAVE?
- UH, WE GOT 12.
- 12 TABLES TOTAL?
- YES.
- THEY ONLY DID 12 TABLES.
IS THAT RIGHT?
- 12 ADULT AND 10 KIDS,
'CAUSE THAT'S 120 ADULTS...
- SO YOU HAVE HOW MANY?
- CHILDREN'S TABLES.
- UH, TABLES? ROUND TABLES?
WE GOT 12.
YOU KNOW,
WE DON'T GOT NO KIDS' TABLES.
- [sighing] OH, MY GOD.
- WELL, WE DID BRING YOU
70 CHILDREN'S, UH, CHAIRS.
- YOU HAVE 70 KIDS' CHAIRS
AND NO TABLES?
- YEAH, NO TABLES.
- THEY BROUGHT
70 CHILDREN'S CHAIRS
AND NO TABLES FOR THEM
TO SIT AT.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- UH, NO.
UM, OKAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
ANOTHER ONE.
THIS'LL BE MY SECOND ONE
OF THE YEAR.
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- COMING UP...
- DID YOU SEE ACE YOUNG IS HERE?
FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHO'S HE?
- ACE YOUNG FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
- WHO?
- UM, THE RENTAL COMPANY DID NOT
BRING THE CHILDREN'S TABLES.
THEY BROUGHT
CHILDREN'S CHAIRS AND NO TABLES.
- I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- I CANNOT BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.
[laughs]
- HELLO? REALLY?
HE SAYS
THE CHILDREN'S TABLES ARE HERE.
OKAY.
WHO SHOULD I BE ASKING FOR?
JAIME.
- IS THAT YOU, JAIME?
IS HE JAIME? - NO.
- IS THERE A JAIME? NO.
HE SAID THERE'S
SOMEBODY NAMED JAIME
THAT HAS CHILDREN'S TABLES.
PLEASE, TELL ME THAT'S JAIME.
OH! DO YOU HAVE
CHILDREN'S TABLES?
- YES, I HAVE
YOUR TABLES RIGHT THERE.
- YAY! THANK YOU!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
YAY, YAY. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THEY TOLD ME
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY KIDS' TABLES.
- DON'T WORRY. I HAVE YOUR
TABLES OVER THERE.
[indistinct]
- OKAY.
NOW, CAN YOU MAKE
THE SUN COME OUT?
- YEAH.
- OKAY.
THIS YEAR'S PARTY
WAS REALLY SPECIAL FOR ME,
MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS OUT
IN A COUNTRY SETTING
AND IT JUST REMINDED ME
MORE OF BEING HOME AND...
AND KENNEDY GETTING TO
EXPERIENCE A LITTLE BIT
MORE WITH NATURE.
- IT LOOKS SO CUTE FROM HERE!
- YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
- YOU'RE SWEET.
- I LOVE YOU, AND, UM,
I'VE ENJOYED THIS MORNING.
IT WAS A WORKOUT.
[both laugh]
- THERE, BABY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- IT ALL WORKED OUT GOOD.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- IT LOOKS GOOD.
- THANK GOODNESS.
THANK GOODNESS, ONCE A YEAR.
- HERE'S A TICKET.
- SO WHERE DO THEY PUT
THE GIFTS FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIRL?
- SO, ARE YOU HAPPY
WITH EVERYTHING?
- YEAH. THE VENDOR
DID A TERRIBLE JOB.
- I THINK YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- HI!
- DAD, LOOK!
IT'S A CHOO-CHOO TRAIN!
- A CHOO-CHOO TRAIN.
- GRAB YOUR PARTNER, DO-SI-DO.
- [laughs]
NOW I'VE GOT MY PARTNER.
- HI!
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I LOVE IT.
- THIS IS SO GORGEOUS
OUT HERE. OH, MY GOD.
- ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
- I LOVE IT. IT'S AMAZING.
- WHENEVER I MAKE IT BIG,
I'M BUYING THIS RANCH.
- OH, MY GOD. IT'S GORGEOUS.
- HEY, WHERE'S RUSSELL?
- RIGHT THERE.
- IT'S REALLY AWKWARD SEEING
RUSSELL AFTER THE TEA PARTY.
I THINK EVERYBODY IS TRYING
TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH HIM.
- DID YOU SEE ACE YOUNG IS HERE?
- WHO?
- FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
ACE YOUNG IS SINGING.
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHO'S HE?
- ACE YOUNG, FROM AMERICAN IDOL.
YOU KNOW? THE LONG DARK HAIR?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M EXCITED.
- OKAY, WELL, HE'S EVEN CUTER
IN PERSON THAN HE WAS
WHEN I SAW A PHOTO OF HIM.
- OH, MY GOD. HOW EXCITING.
- DANA'S GIFT FOR KENNEDY
IS A PERFORMANCE
FROM HER STEPSON,
CONNOR FLYNN, AND ACE YOUNG.
WHAT'S UP?
I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS SONG.
- YEAH? IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
THE FIRST TIME SONG I HEARD
THE SONG THAT ACE AND CONNOR
WROTE FOR KENNEDY,
I SAT AT MY DESK AND CRIED.
I'M SITTING
IN MY OFFICE BAWLING.
- I LOVE THAT.
- AND I CALLED MY ASSISTANT
AND I SAID, "COME IN HERE
"FOR A MINUTE AND SEE
IF I'M OFF MY ROCKER"...
BECAUSE I AM A LITTLE BIT...
AND SHE STARTED CRYING, TOO.
AND SHE'S 23.
SO I WAS LIKE, "PERFECT,
SHE HAS NO KIDS."
- YES! I LOVE IT.
- YOU LOVE TO MAKE WOMEN CRY?
- I DO. I DO.
[both laugh]
- I'LL TRY
TO KEEP MYSELF TOGETHER.
- NO, DON'T. THAT'S EVEN BETTER.
THIS IS A FESTIVAL.
- THIS IS A FESTIVAL.
THIS IS LIKE, UM,
KENNEDY-PALOOZA.
- SO, HAVE YOU RIDDEN THE PONY?
[both laugh]
- I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
- OKAY, IF YOU WERE ANY CUTER...
YOU'RE KILLING ME RIGHT NOW.
- YOU'D EAT ME UP.
- YEAH. [laughs]
IT'S KILLING ME.
I'M AN OLD WOMAN.
- WE'RE UP TO 187 PEOPLE.
I AM PUTTING A CAP ON IT.
- IT'S GONNA BE
MORE THAN 187 PEOPLE.
- WHY? YOU'VE ONLY
LIVED HERE FIVE YEARS,
HOW CAN YOU KNOW
THAT MANY PEOPLE?
- HE'S LIVED HERE 25 YEARS.
- WE'RE TRIMMING.
WE'RE TRIMMING.
- WE'VE GOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS,
ALL OF OUR FRIENDS,
ALL OF OUR FAMILY,
ALL OF HIS FAMILY,
FAMILY FRIENDS,
YOUR FAMILY FRIENDS.
- WE DON'T HAVE
ANY FAMILY FRIENDS.
- [laughs]
- OKAY, LISTEN.
TODAY, SERIOUSLY,
I WANT TO GO OVER
THE INVITATIONS.
I'M NOT GOING
TO KENNEDY'S PARTY TODAY
BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN PARTY
TO PLAN WITH PANDORA,
WHO'S BEING
VERY DEMANDING LATELY,
AND I'VE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION.
SO, I HAVE TO SPEND THE DAY
PLANNING HER WEDDING.
YOU WANT TO GO
CHOOSE AN INVITATION?
YOU DO?
- HE JUST WINKED,
DID YOU SEE THAT?
- IT'S A MATTER OF URGENCY.
WE HAVE TO GET
SOME THINGS ORGANIZED.
SO, TODAY WE'RE DOING
WEDDING INVITATIONS.
SO, I WANT SOMETHING UNUSUAL,
SEXY, GORGEOUS, SUMPTUOUS.
I WANT PANDORA TO HAVE
SOMETHING OUT OF THIS WORLD.
- HELLO, DARLING.
MWAH. MWAH.
- HELLO, SIR.
NICE TO MEET YOU, FINALLY.
- NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. GREAT.
- HEARD A LOT OF GREAT THINGS.
- THANK YOU.
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
LOOK AT THAT, PANDORA.
OH, I LOVE THAT.
- THAT IS SO CUTE.
- IT'S ALL EXQUISITE.
IS THIS YOUR COMPANY?
- IT IS. IT IS.
WE DO EVERYTHING AS
CUSTOM-DESIGNED,
SO WE CAN, ESSENTIALLY
MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT.
- I HAD NO IDEA THAT
IT WAS THIS KIND OF DECADENT,
THIS EXTENSIVE.
- OF COURSE, DARLING.
YOU GOTTA GO ALL-OUT.
- NO. WE'RE NOT GOING...
- YES, WE ARE, DARLING.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- IT'S A SCROLL.
- OH, MY GOD. ISN'T THAT FUN?
LOOK AT THAT.
WILD, HUH?
I LOVE IT.
REALLY UNUSUAL. I LOVE IT.
LOOK AT THIS.
- OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S TOO BIG A DEAL.
- THAT IS SO EXCITING.
THAT'S EXCITING.
- I LOVE IT. HOT PINK.
WITH A HUGE INVITATION
LIKE THAT, SO IMPRESSIVE.
- I LOVE THAT.
- I LOVE IT.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT.
- YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.
- THIS IS MY WEDDING.
THIS IS MY WEDDING.
I GOT TO HAVE THIS INVITATION.
I LOVE THIS.
- KEVIN,
YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.
NO. STEP BACK. TAKE A BREATH.
THIS IS MY DAY. BACK OFF.
- FLOWERS AND DIAMONDS.
JUST YOU, RIGHT THERE, LISA.
FLOWERS AND DIAMONDS.
THAT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.
- I DO SORT OF WANT PEOPLE TO
OPEN IT AND BE, LIKE, [gasps].
- YOU DON'T WANT JUST...
[small gasp]
I WANT "WOW!", YOU KNOW?
THAT'S WHAT I NEED. [laughs]
- I LOVE THE GIANT BOX,
BUT IS IT TOO MUCH?
- PANDORA, LET'S JUST...
OUT OF THE BOX...
- PANDORA'S BOX, THERE YOU GO.
- OH, PANDORA'S BOX.
- PANDORA'S BOX.
- YEAH. CHECK IT OUT.
- IT IS BEAUTIFUL,
BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- I LOVE IT.
WHEN YOU RECEIVE BOX LIKE THAT,
AND WHEN YOU OPEN UP...
[snaps fingers]
INSTANT SURPRISE.
AND GRAND WEDDING.
- IT'S NOT A GRAND WEDDING,
IT'S GONNA BE ROMANTIC,
IN THE GARDEN.
- AND... AND GRAND.
I LOVE IT.
SO OUTRAGEOUS, YOU KNOW?
YOU NEED ONE LIKE THIS
FOR YOUR WEDDING.
- I LOVE THIS BOX. I LOVE IT.
- ME TOO, PANDORA.
- I'M OBSESSED WITH IT.
- THIS IS INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT.
LISA, YOU GOT IT.
THIS IS THE ONE, ALL RIGHT?
- I FEEL THIS NIGHTMARE
IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING.
- I LOVE IT.
- YOU NAME A CARD, MOMMY.
- THREE OF HEARTS.
- IN HIS HAIR. IT'S IN HIS HAIR.
- JUMP!
- JUMP ON?
- YEAH.
- [laughs]
OH, MY GOD.
[laughter]
- LIKE THIS?
[screams]
NO!
I AM NOT... STOPPING.
[laughter]
- THANK YOU.
WOO!
NO, I'M GOOD. THANKS.
HOW ARE WE GONNA FIND ANYBODY?
KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE SEEN KYLE SINCE
I TOLD HER
I WAS MOVING IN WITH KEN.
THE LAST TIME I SAW HER, SHE WAS
VERY EMOTIONAL AND UPSET.
[both laughing]
- SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S GOOD.
- GO, ALEXIA!
- I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
- OH, MY GOD!
[laughter]
- OKAY.
- YOU STARTED GETTING
THE HANG OF IT.
- GET UP!
- WOW. THIS IS EASY.
- THAT'S EASY.
[laughter]
- I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED
AS MUCH IN MY SISTER'S LIFE
AS I HAVE BEEN.
I SHOULDN'T BE, YOU KNOW,
TRYING TO CONTROL
WHAT SHE'S DOING WITH HER LIFE.
- THERE YA GO! THERE YA GO!
[laughs]
[laughter]
- I'M GONNA HIT A POTHOLE,
AND I'M GONNA GO DOWN.
[laughs]
HI. HOW ARE YOU? - HI.
I'M SO GOOD.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
- THANKS FOR HAVING US.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, CARI.
- CARI.
- WELCOME, WELCOME.
- IT'S GOOD TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
- THIS IS FOR KENNEDY.
I DIDN'T WANNA LOSE IT.
I DIDN'T REMEMBER
HOW OLD SHE WAS TURNING, SORRY.
- FIVE. SHE'S FIVE.
- OH, MY GOD.
MY BOYS ARE WITH THEIR DAD
TODAY, BUT I REALLY LIKE TAYLOR,
SO I... I, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T MIND
COMING TO HER KID'S PARTY,
AND I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FUN.
- SO, HAVE FUN.
THERE'S WAHOO FISH TACOS,
AND I HAVE
THE FIREMAN OVER THERE.
KIDS CAN TRY
ON FIRE GEAR IF THEY WANT.
- IS HE CUTE? [laughs]
- SUPER-CUTE, ACTUALLY.
[both laugh]
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO CHECK ON THAT CHILD.
- RIGHT, STAT!
- [laughs]
- YOU WANT TO GO TO THE FIREMAN?
[both laugh]
- FIREMAN'S THAT WAY.
- THIS WAY!
SERIOUSLY.
- LOOK AT THOSE CUTE PONIES.
- POO-POO.
- THAT IS POO-POO.
[gasps] A UNICORN, PORTIA!
THIS LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL, TAYLOR.
THIS IS SUCH A NICE IDEA.
SO NICE.
- SO, YEAH, LISA SAID
SHE WOULD LOVE TO COME,
BUT IF SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP,
IT WASN'T BECAUSE
SHE WAS ANGRY WITH ME.
AND CAMILLE, UM,
IF SHE SHOWED UP,
SHE WOULD BE SHOVELING [bleep]
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
- [laughs]
- I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT HAVE
SHARED PERSONAL INFORMATION
ABOUT MY MARRIAGE WITH CAMILLE,
BUT THEN CAMILLE SHOULDN'T HAVE
BLURTED IT OUT AT A TEA PARTY
IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.
AND I'M STILL MAD AT HER.
- IS SHE GONNA COME?
- SHE WOULD NOT SHOW HER FACE.
- WELL, HAVE YOU GUYS
BEEN TEXTING BACK AND FORTH?
OR WHAT'S HAPPENED?
- SHE'S APOLOGIZED
TO ME 500 TIMES.
"I'M SO SORRY."
"I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU."
"I NEVER MEANT TO BETRAY YOU."
- I KNOW THAT TAYLOR DOESN'T
LIKE WHAT CAMILLE HAS SAID,
BUT, IN ALL FAIRNESS,
CAMILLE IS ONLY REPEATING
WHAT TAYLOR HAS TOLD US.
IT'S NOT FAIR FOR HER TO BE
UPSET WITH CAMILLE ABOUT THIS.
- AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
SHE IS DONE WITH ME.
- COMING UP...
- LISA'S STAYING
AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
WHICH IS OUR COMPETITION,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULD DO THAT.
IT'S RUDE.
- READY, BOYS?
- THANKS.
- OVER HERE. COME ON.
AFTER THE TEA PARTY,
I AM SO CONFUSED ABOUT TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL AND THEIR MARRIAGE.
HOWEVER, AS HER FRIEND,
I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER.
HI. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
MWAH.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- OH, SO DO YOU GUYS.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
- IS YOUR BACK BAD?
- HUH?
- IS YOUR BACK BAD?
- NO, MY HAMSTRINGS
ARE VERY TIGHT.
- OR ARE YOUR JEANS TOO TIGHT?
[both laugh]
- ANYTHING NEW?
- I MEAN, LISA'S NOT HERE.
CAMILLE'S NOT HERE.
- OKAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERED ME
THOUGH, ADRIENNE, THE OTHER DAY?
IS EVERYBODY LEFT
REALLY UPSET, YOU KNOW?
AND NOW, TAYLOR DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO CAMILLE AT ALL...
- NO, NO, NO. I CAN TELL YOU
WHAT I'M UPSET ABOUT.
I'M UPSET BECAUSE LISA
DIDN'T COME TO ME
FOR HER DAUGHTER'S
ENGAGEMENT PARTY
TO STAY AT THE PALMS.
THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE,
I HAD HEARD THAT LISA
WAS THROWING PANDORA'S
BACHELORETTE PARTY
AT ONE OF OUR COMPETING CASINOS.
THEY'RE STAYING
AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD,
WHICH IS OUR COMPETITION,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULD DO THAT.
WHY DIDN'T SHE COME TO ME FIRST?
I WOULD HAVE ROLLED OUT
THE RED CARPET FOR HER.
IT'S RUDE.
- RIGHT.
- IT'S NOT ONLY RUDE.
IT'S... IT'S NOT...
I TRY TO PROMOTE HER RESTAURANT.
"HER FOOD'S GREAT, BLAH BLAH
BLAH." YOU KNOW?
I WOULD APPRECIATE A LITTLE
COMMON COURTESY BACK.
- I GO TO HER RESTAURANT WITH
BUSINESS PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
- YOU THINK SHE WAS
UNCOMFORTABLE TO ASK YOU?
- NO! NO, I DON'T.
LISA'S NEVER UNCOMFORTABLE
TO ASK FOR THINGS.
SORRY, BUT NO.
LISA'S VERY DIRECT.
SO WHY WASN'T SHE DIRECT
WITH ME WHEN, YOU KNOW?
- RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TO ASK HER.
- IT HURTS MY FEELINGS
THAT LISA ISN'T SUPPORTING ME.
[sighs]
- I JUST THINK IT'S WEIRD.
THERE'S A LOT OF CRACKS
IN OUR LITTLE GROUP RIGHT NOW.
- WE HAVE AN ISSUE.
MY DAUGHTER
HAD A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION.
- [crying]
- JULIE WENT
TO GET YOUR DRESS, LOVE.
OH, LOOK, THERE'S YOUR DRESSES.
OKAY, WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?
GO PICK IT, AND HURRY.
- OH, I LOVE YOUR BOOTS.
- THANK YOU. FALCONHEAD.
- THOSE ARE AWESOME.
I JUST LEARNED
ABOUT COWBOY STUFF.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT, REALLY, IT WAS.
[laughs]
- I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A COWGIRL.
MATTER OF FACT, WHEN I WENT
TO BUY MY FIRST HORSE,
I THOUGHT I WAS COWBOY JANE,
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN RIDING
DISNEY HORSES MY WHOLE LIFE.
SO I GET UP THERE, AND I'M LIKE,
"YES, I'M GONNA BUY A HORSE,"
AND I'M EXPECTING THEM TO, LIKE,
GET DOWN LIKE THIS,
AND I'M LIKE,
"UM, THE HORSE,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND."
AND THEY'RE LIKE,
"WELL, HOP UP."
I'M LIKE, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND...
"OH! OH, OKAY."
AND SO I, LIKE,
GET ON THE HORSE, I'M LIKE...
"OH, MY GOD!"
"THIS IS A BAD HORSE!
THIS IS A VERY BAD HORSE!"
- I WAS REALLY NERVOUS
TO SEE KIM
JUST BECAUSE KIM AND I
HAD ZERO INTERACTION
DURING SPA DAY.
- DID YOU SEE BRANDI?
- NOPE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DECIDED?
NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY
THAT'S GONNA BE NEGATIVE,
SO TO TALK LIKE THAT?
IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME.
- I WANNA SAY HI TO YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
- FINE.
- OKAY.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TALKING TO ME?
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
YOU DON'T EXIST.
SO...
- I WANTED TO BREAK THE ICE
AND BE LIKE, "YO, IT'S ALL GOOD.
"SORRY,
I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU."
BUT I-I CAN'T SPEAK FOR KIM.
I MEAN, KIM CAN'T EVEN
SPEAK FOR HERSELF, SO...
CLEARLY, SHE DOESN'T
SAY ANYTHING.
BYE. BYE.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
- [laughs]
AWKWARD.
- I HAVE A NEW SAYING
ABOUT, UH, WHO WEARS
THE PANTS IN MY FAMILY.
I CAN TELL YOU WHO WEARS THEM.
I WEAR THE PANTS IN MY FAMILY.
- SOMEONE SAID THAT ALREADY,
BY THE WAY.
- YOU'RE NOT WEARING NO
FRIGGIN' PANTS IN YOUR FAMILY.
- SHE JUST PICKS THE COLOR,
THE SIZE... [all laugh]
- I BUY THEM.
- YOU JUST... YOU JUST PUT 'EM ON.
- EXCUSE ME, GUYS. HI.
- HEY, BRANDI.
- HI, HONEY.
- WELL, I TRIED
TO TALK TO YOUR SISTER
JUST TO TRY
TO BREAK THE ICE, BUT...
- MY SISTER?
- YEAH.
- OH, I AM LIKE, I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND.
WHAT HAPPENED?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I WANT IT ALL UNDER THE BRIDGE.
IT'S JUST KILLING ME.
TRYING TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON,
AND I WANT IT TO GO AWAY
A LITTLE BIT,
BUT IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
[laughs]
- OH, MY GOD. WHAT?
WAS SHE... AH...
- SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU?
- OH, REALLY, WE ONLY HAVE
REALLY BAD IMPRESSIONS
OF ONE ANOTHER.
- I WISH BRANDI A LOT OF LUCK
WITH KIM FORGIVING HER.
WHEN KIM IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING,
SHE DOES NOT LET GO
FOR A LONG TIME.
- IF SHE MEANT SOMETHING TO ME,
I WOULD WANT AN APOLOGY.
SHE'S NOT WORTH IT.
THE WAY SHE SPOKE...
- WAS SO INTENSE.
- WAS SO DISGUSTING.
I HAVE NO DESIRE
FOR EVEN AN APOLOGY.
- I KNOW. I UNDERSTAND.
I SAW IT IN YOUR FACE.
- NO, THANK YOU.
- KENNEDY'S HAVING FUN,
SHE HAS ALL
OF HER FRIENDS THERE,
THERE'S LOTS TO DO,
AND IT'S A GREAT DAY.
HE'S ON AMERICAN IDOL.
THIS IS KENNEDY.
- WHAT'S UP?
HOW ARE YOU, KENNEDY?
- THIS IS SIENNA...
OH! SHE'S SHY.
- CAN I GET A HUG?
MAY I HAVE A HUG?
THANK YOU.
YEAH, YOU'RE A HUGGER.
- ALL RIGHT, SHE'S A HUGGER.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
- SHE'S JUST A BIT SHY.
ALL RIGHT.
- HEY, TAYLOR?
- YEAH?
- I'M WAITING
FOR THE HORSE TO GET HERE.
- OKAY.
- 4:00.
- I'M GONNA BRING THE CAKE DOWN.
- WHAT WE ARE GONNA DO,
WE'RE GONNA TAKE
A FAMILY PICTURE RIGHT NOW...
- OH PLEASE,
WE GOTTA DO THE CAKE.
- WE'RE BRINGIN' THE CAKE DOWN
AND SINGIN' THE SONG.
- WE HAVE TO DO THE CAKE.
- LET'S DO THAT AT 4:00.
- OKAY, WE HAD THREE PLANS.
- WE... WE... WE... THIS
HAS REALLY GOTTA HAPPEN NOW.
- DANA, WOULD YOU RELAX?
- OKAY.
- WE HAVE A VERY NICE GIFT
THAT IS GONNA BE READY AT 4:00.
- RIGHT, BUT I'M SAYING
THAT WE DON'T HAVE...
OH, ANYWAY, RUSSELL.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
- NOTHING.
WHAT REALLY UPSET ME
WAS THAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
ABOUT KENNEDY'S BIRTHDAY.
HE'S MORE CONCERNED
ABOUT EVERYONE SEEING HIM
AS FATHER OF THE YEAR.
- I DO NOT KNOW WHAT
TO THINK ABOUT TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL'S MARRIAGE.
SHE'S HAPPY, SHE'S NOT HAPPY.
THERE'S TROUBLE,
THERE'S NOT TROUBLE.
I JUST AM COMPLETELY
BAFFLED BY THIS.
- COMING UP...
- THIS IS THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW
THAT HAS LIPS BIGGER THAN MINE.
- MAURICIO AND I ARE GONNA
GO RIDE THE BULL SOON.
I'M A JEWISH KID
AND I DON'T RIDE BULLS AT ALL.
- HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET
YOU'LL DO VERY WELL?
LET'S ASK THE GUY HOW TO DO IT.
- WHAT'S THE TECHNIQUE?
- IS THERE A TECHNIQUE, SIR?
BALANCE? THAT'S IT?
- COME ON, MAURICIO.
YEE-HAW!
- WOO-HOO!
- GOOD JOB, MAURICIO.
- AW, HE'S GOOD.
[laughter]
- WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW DO YOU GET ON IT?
[grunts] HOLD ON.
[both laughing]
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- [grunt]
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- YEAH, THIS IS EASY.
- [laughs]
- AM I REALLY MARRIED
TO THIS MAN?
- AW, AT LEAST
HE GOT ON THE HORSE.
[laughter]
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING TODAY
TO CELEBRATE MY DAUGHTER
TURNING FIVE,
AND THIS SEEMS FITTING
FOR A FIFTH BIRTHDAY PARTY,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
NOW I'M A BIT OVERWHELMED
BECAUSE I AM
A GIRL FROM OKLAHOMA
WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN
FOUND MYSELF
IN THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
AND I COULDN'T IMAGINE
EVER HAVING TWO GUYS LIKE THIS
MAKE A SONG UP FOR MY DAUGHTER.
SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[soft acoustic guitar]
- ♪♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES
LEAD ME THROUGH YOUR DREAMS ♪♪
♪♪ IT'S FLYING
THROUGH THE CLOUDS ♪♪
♪♪ YOU ARE THE PILOT ♪♪
♪♪ IT'S BEAUTIFUL ♪♪
- KENNEDY,
LISTEN TO YOUR SONG, BABY.
- ♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY TO ME ♪♪
- I JUST THOUGHT
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL,
AND IT REALLY SPEAKS
TO EVERY MOTHER'S HEART
THAT YOUR CHILDREN DO REALLY
MAKE EVERY DAY A SPECIAL DAY.
- YOU GUYS, SING IT WITH US.
YOU MAKE EVERY DAY A BIRTHDAY.
♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY TO ME ♪♪
DO IT AGAIN! COME ON!
- WHILE ACE WAS SINGING,
HE HAD A DRINK IN HIS HAND,
AND HE'S, LIKE,
POINTING AT THE CROWD,
AND HE'S, LIKE,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
[laughs]
IT WAS FUNNY. [laughs]
- ♪♪ YOU MAKE EVERY DAY
A BIRTHDAY ♪♪
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENNEDY.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENNEDY.
- WOO!
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
WE HAVE A SURPRISE RIGHT HERE.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KENNEDY HAS A BRAND-NEW HORSE.
- GETTING KENNEDY A HORSE
IS THE WORST IDEA.
I MEAN,
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE A DOG,
HOW ARE YOU GONNA
HANDLE A HORSE?
- THIS IS THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW
THAT HAS LIPS BIGGER THAN MINE.
[laughs]
- TAYLOR'S BEEN COMPLAINING
ABOUT HER MARRIAGE
FOR FOUR YEARS.
I THINK PART OF TAYLOR'S ISSUE
IS SHE'S AFRAID TO BE ALONE,
AND SO ANYTHING'S
BETTER THAN BEING ALONE.
- HOLD ON.
- OH, YAY.
- RUSSELL AND I HAVE
A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE.
THAT'S A FACT. IT'S BEEN
DIFFICULT FOR A LONG TIME.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY.
- FINDING REAL HAPPINESS
WITH ANOTHER PERSON
TAKES A LOT OF WORK.
BUT I WANT TO BE HAPPY,
ABSOLUTELY.
- I DON'T THINK TAYLOR
AND RUSSELL EVER HAD THAT
IN-LOVE FEELING
WHERE THEY WERE JUST
CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER
AND RESPECTED EACH OTHER.
SO, I FEEL THAT SHE'S FIGHTING
FOR SOMETHING THAT
SHE'S NEVER HAD TO BEGIN WITH.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I WAS THINKING,
TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
LIKE, THIS LADY,
SHE'S A PORN STAR.
SO, SHE COMES,
AND SHE TEACHES YOU HOW TO,
LIKE, DO BJs AND STUFF.
- I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I'M A LITTLE UPSET.
- WITH?
- YOU. AND MY FEELINGS ARE HURT.
- OKAY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- HEY.
- HI!
- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE IN THERE.
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,