The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 10, Episode 4 - All's Fair in Glam and War - full transcript
After an awkward invitation, Lisa Rinna and Garcelle opt out of Teddi's fitness and wellness retreat, which is far from relaxing for the other ladies. Kyle and Erika question Dorit's ...
- Previously,
- Previously,
on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills":
- I would love to be sharing
this with someone.
Mike Nilon and I were married
almost nine years.
I really thought
this was my last stop.
- Amelia started
to have panic attacks
and anxiety.
The therapist said,
"I don't think it's gonna work
out for her right now."
- I'm coming to your retreat.
The thing is,
I'm coming after lunch.
- Truthfully,
I really don't care
if y'all come
or don't come.
- I was like, "Great.
I don't have to go."
- I'm gonna be very honest.
I thought that you were
gonna be a little boring.
- Do you want Sutton to come
or not come?
- Truthfully...
- You don't want her there.
- Do me a favor.
Just don't come.
[upbeat music]
- Around here,
there's more than just dresses
in everyone's closet.
- The secret to life?
Dance like everyone
is watching.
- I won't settle
for anything less
than everything.
- Life is an audition,
and honey,
I am getting that part.
- You never know
what to expect
when I'm expecting.
- Break a leg?
Not in these heels, honey.
- My life may not
be a fairy tale,
but I'll always get
a happy ending.
♪ ♪
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- I just discovered cold brew,
and I had some today,
and I'm high as a kite.
- So where's everybody else?
- Denise and Dorit
are coming down later.
- Okay.
- And Rinna's in New York.
Yeah.
I'm happy to be home.
- Happy to be home?
- And I get nervous when I
am having to work so much
and things like that.
- Yes.
- I'm having that same thing
right now.
- You are?
I have been extremely busy.
I went to New York
for fashion week.
- Don't be nervous.
- I literally am so nervous.
You have no idea.
Will you try this on
for a second, Rinna?
- That's really pretty.
- Let's do this, then.
Then I went to North Carolina.
- Have you started shooting
yet?
- Just, like,
pre-production stuff:
rehearsals, wardrobe.
I went back to New York,
and then I went back
to North Carolina.
But now I'm going back Sunday,
so I'm gonna be back to...
- Oh, wow.
- Sleeping in the day
and up all night.
Obviously, I'd rather be
home with my family right now,
but I got up
at the crack of dawn
to support Teddi.
Did you text Teddi?
- I did.
- Oh, and tell me--
tell me about that.
I'm curious.
- You know, I just apologized,
and, um, she took it okay.
She's like, "If you want
to come, come."
- "In no way did I ever mean
to upset you.
"I'm planning to come
to your event
if you'll still have me."
- She's coming.
- So I don't want
to bring it up.
I don't want to stress her out.
That's not appropriate,
and I--you know, I--
mm-mm.
I'm gonna be
a very good girl.
Yes, ma'am.
Nice to see you.
I'm fine.
Thank you so much.
[exasperated sigh]
- This is very early
to be up doing this.
- We better get good points,
friendship points, for this.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So schedule for today:
we have this,
we go right into lunch...
Then it's open time
for everybody.
- Yes.
- That's where they can do
their spa treatments,
their naps,
their journaling,
their going on a beach walk--
whatever it is they want to do.
I want it to be perfect,
so every detail
is timed out.
It starts with morning boxing.
Then we have a healthy lunch.
Then there's
a little free time,
mindful meditation,
dinner,
but the one thing
I'm not tolerating today:
my friends' petty bullsh--.
- What do I see?
I see All In by Teddi shirts.
- Oh, good.
- You're nervous?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's okay.
- Oh, 'cause of Teddi?
- Mm-hmm.
both: Don't be.
- Listen...
- We're all here--
- We're all here.
Yeah, it's okay.
- No!
- No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
- Don't feel nervous.
- No, no, you're fine.
- I know, I know.
I-I get the same way.
I feel so bad for Sutton
right now.
It's making me think back
to going
to Kelsey Grammer's show,
and Camille and I
weren't talking.
I can feel
the lump in her throat.
You're fine.
You're fine.
- There she is.
Does she have a clipboard?
[laughs]
Oh, no, I'm just kidding.
- Look at it.
She's pregnant!
I always think it's so--
how are you?
- Oh, my gosh.
Do you guys have--
- Look at this!
- Here you go!
- Hi!
- How are you?
How are you?
- Thanks for coming.
You look so cute.
- Oh, thank you.
- Would I rather be nice
to Sutton,
or have Sutton ruin my retreat
that people are paying
to be a part of?
Oh, that's right.
Be nice to Sutton.
I'll see you guys in a second.
- Where are we going?
- We're just gonna put stuff
down
in my room real quick
before we go work out.
[dramatic rock music]
- All right, ladies.
Here we go!
All right, now watch.
Here.
One, two, front knee.
One, two, front knee.
Go!
♪ ♪
- Oh.
- Switch!
- Okay.
- Go.
- Oh, ow.
Okay.
- You got it.
- Yeah.
[light music]
These gloves are hot.
- Switch!
- I'm already sweating
because I am a weakling.
- Switch!
Last drill.
- Do I just stay here?
♪ ♪
all: Three, two, one!
- We did it!
- Whoo!
- You did it.
You were so good.
- Thank you.
Oh, my God, thank you
for doing this.
I can't thank you enough.
Are we done?
[light percussive music]
- Checking in.
How you doing?
- Good.
- Good?
A'ight, where's this table
going during the off-time?
- Spa.
- Spa?
What kind of treatments?
- Massage.
- I like potato chips
and French fries.
- I just like food.
- I like--I like bread
and pasta.
- I like the food.
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Hello!
- Hello, woman of the hour.
- Thank you so much for coming.
I know how hard it is
to leave the kids,
and, like, I really,
really appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
- I am so happy
to be here, honey.
- I knew ahead of time
not to have any expectations
when it comes
to Dorit's arrival.
I have been sitting here
for over 30 minutes.
- I thought we had
between 4:30 and 5:30.
- You think I was expecting
Dorit to be on time?
No!
- Hi, guys!
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, everyone.
Hello.
- I like your workout ponytail.
- Thank you!
♪ ♪
I'm gonna go up and get food.
- How are you?
Sorry I'm sweaty.
- Oh, no.
- It's buffet style,
if you're hungry.
- Oh, no! [laughs]
- I knew that Dorit
was coming late,
but clearly, she's been
at glam for hours.
- Did you guys box?
- Oh, yes.
- How was it?
- It was good.
- Why didn't you box?
- I wasn't here.
- I know.
Why weren't you?
[laughter]
- Let me back up.
She just made a...
- I was coming late.
- I mean, is glam the reason
that she had
to come late today?
Really?
- And little announcement,
guys:
1:00 to 4:00
is free time today,
and then we have
mindful meditation,
and, yeah, have fun.
- Should we go?
- Yes.
- Let's go.
- Oh, my gosh.
♪ ♪
- Okay, we get to have
a massage out here?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- We should call Garcelle.
- Garcelle's not coming.
By the way, she said
she appreciated
you saying, "You don't want
to come, don't come."
She's like, "That, to me,
was like, 'Yay, perfect,'
I don't feel bad, then."
- When I do invites,
I've always just kind of been
like that,
because I don't want
to put pressure
or expectation on somebody.
- Well, we were talking
about this the other night.
It was more about,
"You're invited,
but if you don't want
to come, don't come,"
'cause then they feel like,
"Well, does she
really want me there?"
type of thing.
- She said, "You know,
truthfully,
"like, at the dinner,
I don't really want you guys
there."
- She never said
"I don't want you to come."
- You weren't there, Kyle.
- You didn't say
"I don't want you to come,"
right?
- If it rubbed anyone
the wrong way,
I was on the defense
that night
because I'd just gotten
out of the car with Rinna,
and she was like...
- What if someone comes
and causes sh--?
- If somebody has
a problem with me,
they shouldn't come.
- What if they do
and they're coming?
- Does someone have
a problem with me?
- I don't know.
I just--
- Rinna, what are you--
- I don't know!
- It put me on the defense,
whereas beforehand,
when I texted you guys,
I had not a worry in the world.
That car ride
shifted everything for me.
- See, I didn't know that.
- Yeah, and I was just, like--
- It kind of makes
a little bit more sense
why you would say it.
- And I was telling Erika,
"If I come to your concert,
"and the whole time,
I'm saying to your concert,
"'You know, Erika,
I'm just here to support you,
"That's the only reason
I'm here,'
"Obviously, I'm here
to support Erika,
but I don't need
to tell her that."
- Um, you lost me there.
Who said "I'm only coming
just to support you"?
- You did, actually,
at the--at Sutton's.
- I want to go
simply to support you.
Obviously, I'm--
- But no, no.
I'm gonna tell you guys.
- She doesn't want
to do the experience,
just support.
- To me,
it felt like a job,
and I was like,
"I don't want you
to have to do something
you don't want to do."
- If someone's going
to support you
and they're saying
that they want to support you,
clearly, it's not a job.
It's a pleasure.
Why the (BLEEP)
am I here?
I would much rather be home
with my kids.
What time is dinner?
- The sunset meditation
is at 5:00,
and then dinner's
right after that.
The meditation's, like,
an hour, an hour and a half.
- Oh, no.
- I don't think I can meditate
for an hour and a half.
- Dorit's like,
"I can't work out,
and I can't meditate."
[laughter]
- I'd rather have to go
to the DMV
every day for a month
than sit
in an hour-long meditation.
- Wait, where are
you bitches going?
- We're going to the bar.
- Kyle, bar!
[low percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Cheers, ladies.
all: Cheers.
- Cheers, Teddi,
even though you're not
drinking.
- I know.
- It's a mocktail.
Cheers.
- It's a mocktail.
- Chips, salsa,
and guacamole
that I can bring out
really quick?
- Yes, thank you.
- Oh, Denise said
that her car is arriving
at 4:00.
She'll be there
in time for dinner.
- What you've done--
this is crazy impressive.
- Thank you.
- I just--
I'm really sorry.
[tense music]
- It was too big of a reaction
for what was ha--was said,
but it just, like, hit a nerve,
and I overreacted.
You th--I mean--
- Well, I misspoke,
and I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
- It's all good.
- Yeah.
- To be fair, maybe just say,
"I'd love to be there."
- I did say that,
a million times!
That's what I'm trying to say.
- I know, but she's saying
the support thing.
- I'm here to support Teddi,
and then she says
I'm disingenuous,
and it brings me
right back to that Teddi
that was scheming against me
last year...
It wasn't actually
your conscience
and thought, "I don't want
to do this to Dorit."
It was, "I don't want to be
the only one
to do this to Dorit."
And really makes me question,
which Teddi am I
actually dealing with?
- What?
You need to leave early?
♪ ♪
- Coming up:
- I did not buy
into this retreat!
- Then you can leave!
- But you said--
Kyle, I have a ----ing life!
- I'm gonna go, um,
- I'm gonna go, um,
check to make sure
all the setup is done, and...
- Okay.
- What?
You need to leave early?
- If I left, she would not
even feel my absence.
- No, that's not true!
- I don't know.
- Let's go.
- We're leaving.
♪ ♪
Pull all the girls
that came with me,
my friends.
- Kyle, this is my point.
You were actually questioning
if she's gonna be mad
when she said now,
how many times
that she doesn't care,
do what you want?
and you are
the closest to her!
- Maybe move Carrie.
we can just move
this row up.
Is that cool?
- Yes.
- Thank.
Perfect.
- When I said I'd been made
to feel uncomfortable
and I might want
to leave a little early
and not intended to know
that I'm not wanted anyway--
- You can leave early!
- You just said--
- I did not buy
into this retreat.
I came to be with Teddi.
[gentle music]
- Welcome
to sunset meditation
and relaxation.
So inhale,
bringing the chin
to the chest.
Now, lifting the hands
over the top of the head,
straight up,
exhale, coming down,
bringing the hands
beside the hips.
That's it.
Just be here
for this time
you've gifted yourself.
The whole purpose
of this practice
is to subside
the thoughts that we have.
- I'm trying
to be respectful...
- You guys think that we--
- And don't want
to hurt anyone's feelings.
I was up since 5:00 a.m.
- I've been up since 4:00,
honey.
- To do what?
- She doesn't sleep.
You know
she's an insomniac.
- No, but you can leave.
- Kyle, I have a ----ing life.
I have a ----ing life.
I did not wake up
to come straight here.
- Oh, I don't?
I don't?
I mean, honestly,
after everything
that Dorit and Teddi
went through,
I thought that they
were really making an effort,
so showing up late
because you have to have
your hair and makeup done
is not really the way
to repair a friendship.
It's shallow and selfish.
Clearly, you had time
to sit in the glam chair.
Like, you got ready, so...
We're ----ing getting up
at 5:00
to sit in the ----ing car.
- If you do feel any tension
throughout your body,
breathe into that area
and let yourself sink
a little deeper
into the floor.
- Why is this a competition?
What is the ma--
- It's not, but I'm saying--
- You're saying I have no life.
We also have lives, too.
You don't think that's rude?
When I'm ----ing shooting
a movie
and doing a clothing line
and ----ing [indistinct]
- ...Negative
towards you, Kyle.
- I'm not, like,
twiddling my thumbs.
- Is that a minibar?
- That was not a slight
towards you.
That was an explanation
of why I--
- Okay, but don't expect me
to not retaliate
if you say I have
a ----ing life outside of this.
I understand
where Kyle's coming from.
It's inconsiderate.
Listen, was I late
in Berlin for the boat
because of glam?
Yes, I was.
- It's 5:40.
- The boat takes off at 6:00.
- We're not gonna make that,
you guys.
- Oh!
- It was all ----ed up,
but I'm here now.
I apologize.
And guess what.
I apologized,
and I was wrong for that.
I was also trying to look good.
- Cool, great.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hi!
- Of course.
No, you guys.
You made this the best.
- You're amazing.
- Oh, thank you guys.
- I appreciate it.
♪ ♪
- Food's available over there
if you guys are hungry.
I don't know if you guys
already ate over there.
- Oh, fajitas night.
That's right.
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God.
Do we want a fajita?
- I mean, let me look
at Teddi's first,
and then decide.
- I know.
We've, like, literally
nonstop eating,
but that looks good, too.
- It's good.
- Get a little bit?
- Yes.
- Okay, we'll get a little bit.
- It's yummy.
- Oh, what is wrong with me?
I've eaten all fricking day.
- What is wrong with me?
- Come on, we're eating.
♪ ♪
- Hi, girls.
- Ah!
She made it!
- Hi!
- Wow.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my gosh.
No, I was like--
- I had to work earlier.
- When I found out,
I'm like,
"She's leaving at 4:00?
No!"
I felt so bad.
- Took you, like,
2 1/2 hours?
- I don't even know.
I was, like, on the phone,
answering emails.
- Did you have a good time?
♪ ♪
- These are tough subjects.
I would definitely
not broach that.
- All right, all right.
- [sighs]
I don't even know
where to begin.
So it's a lot.
- Um, Kyle was like,
"Why weren't you here
earlier?"
- You came late,
but you had time to do glam.
- Oh, God.
Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
- PK's away.
I'm with my kids.
I brought them to school.
I didn't want to sit in traffic
after they get out of school
when I can get
other things done
and be here
in the exact same time.
I came here.
I've had lunch.
I've had massage.
[laughter]
I've had ----ing snacks.
- That is so generous
of you.
- I sat in the bar
for six hours.
- "I ate,
and I had a massage."
"By the way, Kyle,
"I had to get my hair done,
"get my makeup done,
"find a workout outfit
"that I'm not actually
gonna work out in,
"drive all the way
to Teddi's retreat,
because I have a life, Kyle!
Okay?"
- I got ready in less time
than you got ready today,
so don't even try.
- I don't think so.
I literally--
- Do not try
to suggest, Kyle...
- I put mascara on
in the car ride over here.
- And make me look bad.
- I'm not trying
to make you look--
- No, you are!
- I'm not!
- You are.
- I am not.
- I am taking offense
to it now.
This isn't even your event,
and Teddi doesn't even have
a problem with it.
Why are you attacking me?
You're making me look
like I am a selfish diva.
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
- This is very nice--
you did this,
and that you invited
your dysfunctional family.
- Thank you.
[laughter]
- I'm so tired.
- I'm ready to go.
- Coming up:
- I just, like,
start shaking,
and I start freaking out.
I've thrown up before.
I want to get evaluated.
[percussive music]
- What is this juice place
we're going to?
- Um, this place.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- I need energy so badly.
I'm gonna have
the maca fuel, please.
- Okay.
- Okay, I'll do
the turmeric shot,
and we'll do
a yummier juice.
So we have both of these.
I feel like I need
some sugar in my life.
- The cookies
are really good.
- The peanut butter one
looks dank.
- I'm gonna--
let's get a peanut butter one.
[terminal chimes]
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Should we sit outside?
- Yeah.
- I like this place.
- Do you have
any hand sanitizer
in your little pouch?
- Um, you know,
I don't have any,
um, 'cause I didn't bring
my regular purse.
- Here's your juice...
- Thank you so much.
- And your shot
and your maca fuel.
Enjoy.
Thank you!
- Cheers.
- I'm going to figure out
my anxiety next week.
- Meaning?
- It's like--
it's just, like, pretty bad,
and I don't know.
I want to get evaluated.
- Listen.
A year ago,
Amelia was going
through body dysmorphia issues.
You guys have to eat
a little bit for Dad.
- No, I'm just not hungry.
I'm allergic to everything.
No matter how many deaths
anorexia causes,
all I cared about
was the skinniness.
I could've died.
- Amelia's come
a long way,
but when I was in New York,
after Kyle's fashion show,
I was able to spend
some time with Amelia,
and in spending time
with her,
I could see
she was in trouble.
- When I'm in situations
I don't want to be in,
or that I'm afraid of,
all
of my decision-making tactics
in my brain shut down,
and I just, like,
start shaking,
and I start freaking out.
I've thrown up before.
- I can't imagine
if you were still in New York,
to be honest with you.
- I really can't either,
and I'm just
so much happier here.
- I think what was
at stake for Amelia
if she stayed in New York
was her life.
Would she become suicidal?
Would she make
a bad choice
in a split second
because of depression?
You do not (BLEEP) around
with that
when you have a teenager.
I don't think you were ready
to be there.
I don't think you were ready...
- Look, I can do
my own laundry,
and I can vacuum my floor,
and I can make my bed
and all that,
but to be 3,000 miles away
and also do it...
No, like...
- I couldn't do it.
Remember?
I didn't even end up
going to school.
You lasted longer
than I did.
Here's what happened
at Emerson.
I got in,
and five days in,
I was so homesick
I thought I would die.
- And to be
3,000 miles away,
I couldn't just drive
to you guys
and be like, "Hey, I miss you."
- I know.
I didn't even walk on campus.
I came home.
I went to University of Oregon
after that,
but I couldn't make it
past three months
at University of Oregon.
I failed.
I didn't do it.
Oh, yeah, I was ----ed up
for a while from that.
Take me through exactly
what you've done
up to this point.
- I have
all my math requirements
to transfer into USC,
but this is so that
if I get in,
then I won't have to take
another math class.
I'll have my math credits
for college.
- Good, 'cause I'm not
gonna put you
on a rowing machine
and take a picture of you
and say that--
- That was the wrong thing
to say.
I'm trying to get
into USC here.
I'm like, "Let's not.
Let's just, like..."
- Joking.
I would never, ever do that.
I wouldn't.
Amelia not staying in New York
I think is just a bump
in the road.
The plan is to get her
back in school,
but before we do that,
we've got to get
her anxiety under control,
and that's gonna take
a lot of work.
Oh, there's paparazzi.
(BLEEP)
Um, then that's
what we'll do.
- Why didn't I bring
my glasses?
- It's all right.
There's paparazzi there.
There's paparazzi there.
Hi!
- I just would like
my sunglasses.
- They're everywhere.
We're so Hollywood.
"Oh, my God,
there's the paparazzi.
Where are my glasses?"
Hi!
- You are a handful.
- I am a handful, aren't I?
[dance music]
♪ ♪
- What you got
going on here?
- I was making you
a tequila.
- Oh, that's nice.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you want a single
or a double?
You might want a double
after everything
I have to tell you.
- Oh, you read my mind.
- I'm sorry.
It's been a day.
Cheers.
- What you got cooking?
- [laughs] Happy Friday.
Well, it's been crazy.
These fires.
I didn't realize, like,
it's brought on, like,
post-traumatic stress
from the last year.
I woke up to news
that there is a fire
30 miles away,
and the fires
move quickly here.
The smoke is coming through.
I'm getting a little nervous.
It's a reminder
of what happened
almost a year ago.
I don't think we're gonna be
living back here very soon.
Oh, our beautiful community.
Ugh, the smell is so bad.
- I can smell it.
Look at all this soot.
- The wind blew
all this sh-- over,
so I'm gonna have
to clean all this.
- Yeah, it was super windy.
- It was so windy today.
I am so over living
in Malibu.
I don't--I cannot go
through another fire.
We came back to Malibu
because the kids
go to school here,
and I don't want
to move their schools.
So even though I don't want
to really live here right now,
I'm doing it for my kids.
See, this is nice now.
There's not wind,
so I think we're good.
I think the pizza oven's
gonna be there,
and then we'll do
the buffet here,
and then the bar,
and I'll put the kids over here
so that they have privacy
and they feel like they
can talk without us hearing.
- Do the ladies know
not to wear, you know, heels?
- I told them
grass-appropriate shoes.
- Perfect.
- Saturday night,
Aaron and I
want to have everyone over.
- Okay.
- We want to have
wood-fired pizzas.
It's outside.
There's grass,
so no pointy-ass heels.
- Oh, it's grass!
- Instead of the desserts
they recommended,
I asked for a sundae bar.
- I love it.
- Right?
And we're gonna do
every topping.
She sent it.
It looks really good.
We're not having
your typical, you know,
Beverly Hills dinner party.
- This is a wild porcini
cappuccino...
- Oh!
- Oh.
- Delicious.
- We don't want dessert
that people
couldn't pronounce,
so we're like,
"(BLEEP) it.
We're gonna have
a ----ing goddamn sundae bar."
- When are people
showing up?
Tomorrow?
What time?
- Well, it starts at 5:30.
I'm very excited
they're all coming.
- Yeah.
- This is our first time
all of the women together
since Kyle's dinner.
I know that a few of them
are upset
that Dorit showed up late
at Teddi's--
you know, her retreat.
- Who cares?
Does it matter?
I don't know.
I'm just--I'm curious.
- So anyhoo, this could be
what the issue is
at our lovely pizza
and ice cream dinner.
- So do you think
this is gonna be, like,
a food fight thing
going on, or...
- Yeah, I don't know.
At this rate,
I kind of hope so,
'cause at least
they'll resolve this sh--.
- Coming up:
- You did a lesbian thing?
- I just made out
with a girl.
- I was with a couple.
- What is the difference?
- There is a penis
and two vaginas.
[heavy dance music]
- All right, let's do this.
Who's hungry?
- Me!
- Ready?
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- All right.
Who's gonna open the door
for the lady?
- Which--this door?
- [laughs] Yeah, that door.
The door you go into.
Thank you.
Hi.
How are you?
- Good.
- Dinner for three.
- Follow me.
- Awesome.
Thank you so much.
[light music]
Thank you so much.
- No problem.
Would you like some waters
to start you off?
- Yes, please.
- Do you want me to put
anything in for you,
or not quite yet?
- Yeah, no,
why don't we go ahead
and do that?
They have to get home
and do homework.
- Um, can I get
the Italian pizza, please?
- Italian pizza.
- Um, I'm gonna do
the short ribs.
Is that good?
- Yeah.
- I'll just have
a cheese pizza.
- Cheese pizza.
- Can I also get
a thing of Coke, please?
- Coke.
- Coke?
Jax...
- Mom...
- Is that okay?
- That's fine.
- Sounds good.
- Yeah, it's fine.
- The custody arrangement
between me and my ex
is that we have the boys
50/50.
We got invited
to the "Spider-Man" premiere.
- Oh, cool.
Is that this week?
- It's tomorrow,
and I know you get 'em
back tonight.
- No, that's fine.
- You sure?
- Of course.
- Coming from where
we came from,
being divorced,
and it was so devastating,
I'm shocked
that we're co-parenting
as well as we are.
Your dad wants you
to call him.
[line trilling]
- Hello!
- Hello.
- Are you on top
of everything this week?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
Babe, we just want you
to do well.
- I am.
- Mike and I
are on the same page,
but if you ask my kids,
I am strict.
You're gonna help
set the table.
You gotta do the dishes.
You know, sweatshop stuff.
[laughs]
Oh, my God, please don't drink
that whole thing.
Thank you.
- Can I have some?
- [laughs] No.
- Pour your brother some.
That way, you don't have
to drink it all.
I'm okay with being strict.
I grew up
with a strict family.
I was scared to break
the rules as a kid,
because you would--
you know.
It's a black mama.
They're not playing.
Are you excited
about the new house?
- Yeah.
I don't have to share a room
with this...
- With your nice brother?
- With my nice brother.
- That's not what
you were gonna say.
[laughs]
- Are you gonna decorate
your room?
- Oh, yeah.
- The boys--
they're excited.
- They're excited.
- They're getting
their own room.
'Cause they've been sleeping
in bunk beds.
Big deal.
I mean, I grew up in Haiti.
If I was a little girl
living in this new house,
I would look around and say,
"How many people
are living here?
I can't imagine it's just
one family living here."
You would have cousins
and uncles
and aunts and grandparents.
- I'll have my little area
with my beanbag
and my, uh, monitors.
- To provide something
like this for my boys
on my own--
it's a great feeling,
but it's also important
for them to know
that you're lucky you get
the things you have,
but you also have
to earn them.
So do you guys
have anything you want
to talk about,
any--anything that you
would like to be different?
- Yeah.
You know what I want
to be different?
[awkward music]
- What?
- Yeah.
- You want Gucci.
- Yeah.
- You need to get a job.
- We are 11.
- Yeah, okay, exactly.
So you don't need a Gucci
if you can't have a job.
- Like, you have
Gucci flip-flops.
- I'm a grown-up.
I work for my stuff.
- I saw them in your closet.
- You're not getting
Gucci anything.
That's obnoxious.
Ooh, yay.
- Ooh, delicious.
- I am starving.
- Thank you.
- Uh, who's gonna say
the prayers?
We shouldn't even--uh, hello.
- Dear Lord,
thank you for this food
we are about to receive
to nourish and strengthen
our bodies,
thank you
for this beautiful day,
and thank you for bringing us
all together as a family.
Amen.
- Amen.
Bon appétit.
- Bon appetet.
- No one says "bon appetet."
- We do.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, this looks so pretty!
- It does look pretty.
- It's coming together, right?
- It is.
We'll make it happen.
- I hope.
I still have to get ready.
- We have plenty of time.
You have, like, ten minutes.
- Oh, this looks so nice.
They did an amazing job.
I love that.
- Oh, wow.
That is something else.
- It looks good.
It's big.
I think it'll look pretty.
Don't you think this is
a nice touch
with our pizza party?
You always have to have
a little sparkle,
even if it's casual.
♪ ♪
- What time are we leaving?
- We should be leaving soon!
It's a little tiny bit
uncomfortable.
- Why?
- Dorit and I are having
a little bit of an issue
right now.
- You are?
- Yeah.
And we went
to Teddi's retreat thing.
Dorit showed up
at, like, 1:00,
so she missed the whole workout
and everything,
but she shows up like--
she had, like,
a workout glam...
[dog whimpers]
And I said something like--
oh, honey, are you
listening to me,
or are you watching the dog?
- I was just getting distracted
'cause the dog's doing
funny stuff down there.
- Well, don't, 'cause I'm
already stressed to go there.
It just became a thing.
But then later,
at the table,
she said something like,
"Well, why don't you
just stay here?
"You can sleep with Teddi.
You like--
you guys like
to sleep together,"
or something like that.
- Honey, you sleep
in the same bed
together all the time.
- I love you
more than anything.
- [indistinct]
- Why do you say that?
I love you so much.
We're sisters.
- [indistinct]
- I don't know
if she is jealous
of my friendship with Teddi,
but bringing up
that she stayed in my bed
one night?
That is really grasping
at straws.
That's all you got, Dorit?
But I haven't seen her
since then,
so it's probably
coming up tonight.
[percussive music]
- So Jaggy, I'm gonna go
to my friend's house.
My friend Garcelle's
gonna be here any minute,
and I'll be back later.
- Mama, do you have to?
- I don't have to,
but I did commit to it already.
- I know, baby.
I know.
Having my children cry
and beg me to stay--
that alone creates this worry.
Oh, my God, am I
the worst mother in the world?
If you want, you can sleep
in Mommy's bed tonight.
Okay?
'Cause Daddy's
not even home yet.
And then, when PK's
out of town,
it's just me.
I'm not even there for them
if they need me.
This is what I meant, Kyle,
when I said I had a life.
Let me just check the time,
bubba-lish.
♪ ♪
- Okay, so tonight,
the husbands that are coming--
well, there's Aaron,
of course.
- Right, and Edwin.
- Edwin.
- Well, PK's in London.
- See, I feel weird
I haven't spoken to Dorit.
Like, she could've ridden
with us.
♪ ♪
- This is the way
to Kyle's house.
Are we picking up Kyle?
- It's a great neighborhood.
[both laugh]
Yeah, are we?
When was the last time
you saw Kyle,
as a matter of fact?
- Last time I saw Kyle
was at the retreat.
I haven't spoken to her,
which is a little odd.
- [gasps] Oh!
- I'm gonna call
Edwin and Teddy
and see if they're
on their way.
- Try Dorit.
- I can't call Dorit right now.
- Joking.
- [sighs]
- Coming up:
- Apparently I'm a lesbian.
- I need to call you up
on that.
- Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
- Bring it on.
[light percussive music]
- Is this the right house?
- I don't know.
- It's the backyard?
- Yeah.
It's definitely set up
for a party.
- Wow, this is so pretty.
- I guess we're
the first ones here.
- Where is everybody?
What time is it?
- 5:35.
- I know.
Sorry.
- I think that we're early
or something.
- We must be super early.
- All right, I'll go change
really quick,
and then I'll go outside.
- That a diamond?
[laughs]
That's so fancy.
- It's beautiful.
- A diamond ice sculpture?
This is, like...
- There's a theme?
- I'm confused.
This is not the Denise
that I know.
New house, who dis?
- Where's Eloise?
- You look so pretty, Mom.
- I do?
Thank you.
- Yeah, you look really good.
- Thank you.
- Hello!
- How's it going?
- Hello!
- It's going good.
How are you, Mauricio?
- Hi, ladies.
- How are you, Rinna?
- Hi!
Oh, how are you?
- So good to see you.
- You'll like this.
Hibiscus tea and something
with, like...
- Okay.
all: Cheers!
- Cheers, cheers.
- We didn't know if we were
at the right house.
- Where is she?
Where are they?
Denise Richards is
the biggest flake
on the planet.
- I thought it was supposed
to start at 2:00.
- Maybe she's not
left home yet.
- We have to hurry
before everyone leaves.
- No, I sit there.
- When's it happening?
- There he is.
- Oh, my God, do you need help?
- Hi!
- No, I'm good.
- Your house is so cute.
I love it.
- Thank you.
Good to see you.
You all right?
- How are you?
- How cute is this place?
I'm good.
I'm good.
- Welcome.
- Thank you for having me.
- You're welcome.
- This is so cute.
- Yeah, thank you.
- I love it.
- Look at you.
Nautical vibe.
- I know.
I'm doing nautical.
- Nautical vibes.
How are you?
- I'm good.
How are you?
- Hi, guys!
How are you?
- Hi!
- Hi. How's it going?
Nice to see you.
- Good.
How are you?
- I'm good.
- What's going on, brother?
♪ ♪
- What is
your drink of choice?
- You know, I do like tequila,
but I also like champagne.
- Is Aaron outside?
Okay, good.
- So you like champagne.
- Oh, my God.
Look at you girls.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- This is your jeans outfit?
- [laughs]
- Hi.
How are you?
You guys look
so beautiful.
- Hi, baby.
- There's Dorit.
- She's so cute.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi!
- Hi, everyone!
- Hi, how are you?
Hi, baby.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Honey, how are you?
- Oh, you have a little--
oh, is that supposed
to be like that?
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, I was about to rush
to push it out of the way.
Sorry.
I feel a little anxious
to see Dorit,
because we haven't resolved
anything,
so I know a conversation
has to happen.
- Hi, hi!
- Teddi, how are you?
- How's it going?
- I've heard everyone's side
of the story.
- Oh, see,
it's like a thing now.
It's a ----ing thing.
- Yeah, oh, yeah.
- Kyle and Dorit had a thing
about Dorit being late,
and Dorit said
something like,
"Well, I have a life."
- I was in New York City,
and I was seeing the photos.
- It was a whole photo shoot...
- There was, like,
a photo shoot.
- Of...
[light music]
- What is she doing?
- You feeling me?
- What is happening?
- If she really, genuinely
just had to take
her kids to school,
and then be late, fine,
but what I've seen
on your Instagram was...
You had a full photo shoot
with glam
posing in your living room
for I don't know
how many hours.
I mean, hello,
I have a life.
Oh, your daughters are here.
Hi, honey.
How are you?
- Girls, say hello to everyone.
- Nice to see you.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi.
- Hi, Lola.
How are you, baby?
- All such cute names.
- Let me go see
where the food is.
♪ ♪
Okay, food's coming out.
- Is it time?
Okay, great.
- Is that delicious?
I'm really jealous of that
pink whatever's in there.
- Why is there
so many diamonds everywhere?
[both laugh]
♪ ♪
- All right, grab a plate.
Get your food.
- Oh, come on, gang.
- Yay!
- Ooh, what are
the different kinds?
- Short rib, chicken pesto,
buffalo mozzarella,
or margherita.
- I cut the line.
- Oh, shocker!
Um...
- No, we gotta talk about it,
because I think she--
- Huh?
- Give me the inside situation.
- No, she feels
like she doesn't understand
why you're so mad at her.
- I wasn't late.
There was no itinerary.
- Right.
- So I really want
to understand why she was
so upset that day.
- Oh, 'cause you got--
she got to you.
[both laugh]
I see what's happening here.
- I would like
to make a speech
and thank all of you
for coming here,
and my wonderful kids
over there.
- Aww.
- Uh, it means a lot to us
that you guys came out here.
We love you,
and we're all so happy
that you're here,
so thank you.
- So exciting.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
We're very excited.
Thank you.
- So you guys are married
over a year now.
- Yes, and he's
let himself go.
- You know what?
It happens.
It happens.
- You guys had
a busy first year.
- Right?
- But he really didn't
let himself go.
- She's joking.
- Honey, I'm joking.
- Oh, I'm like--
- He still has a big penis
and big muscles,
so it's all good.
[laughter]
- You know, I haven't seen you
with--
- Anyone
since my ex-husband.
- My husband knows
some good men.
- Oh, my gosh, yes!
Mauricio, Moe,
hook a sister up.
- Yes.
- What's your type?
I like dark skin.
I like dark skin
and an accent.
- Is that why you and Teddi
are so close?
Because her husband
has an accent.
- This is
a really big stretch.
The fact
that Edwin's Hispanic--
another reason that Kyle and I
have joined forces
to go against her?
Keep reaching.
Reach.
- Teddi's not my type normally.
I've never done
the lesbian thing.
- I haven't either.
Like--
- When I was modeling,
when I was modeling.
- You did do a lesbian thing?
- Yeah.
I just made out with a girl.
When you're young
and you're modeling,
and you're free,
I think things happen.
I kissed a girl,
and I liked it.
- Oh, my God.
I wish my kids weren't here.
- Uh, I was with a couple.
- [gasps]
- You dated a couple?
- You dated a couple?
For how long?
♪ ♪
- I had dated someone
that had married
someone I knew,
so when they became
a couple,
we went out on a date,
and I could just kind of tell
where everything was going.
You know, I could tell
that they were into it,
and you know what?
Fine.
Hey, so was I.
- Wait a minute.
Hold on.
So did you have
both of them separately?
- No, no, no.
I've never been with a girl.
I've only been
with a couple.
- What is the difference?
- There is a penis
and two vaginas.
- [laughs]
- I know!
- See, thank you for...
- Oh, my God.
I gotta get my kids
out of here.
- Why are these women
clutching the pearls?
- Oh, my God.
- This is my favorite kind
of conversation.
- These sluts?
Like, come on.
- I had a threesome
long time ago.
- Tell me more, Garcelle.
- It's just--Garcelle.
- It's just you and I.
- It's just us.
Tell me more.
- I'm done.
I am so done
at this table.
My lips are sealed.
It's only between me and her--
and her.
Have you been with a girl?
- No!
- I never had
a threesome, either.
- Rinna, come on.
- Swear to God.
- I'm shocked, 'cause
you're like sex on a stick.
- I know.
No girls touched
this hoo-hoo, ever.
- There might be
some conversation
that's very adult...
- Yeah, so it's fine.
- It's fine.
- I'm a very open,
sexual person.
Aaron had never had
a happy ending,
and we were on the hunt.
- For one?
You wanted one?
- No, I wanted him
to have one.
But that doesn't mean
that I want my kids
hearing this kind of stuff.
- I've never done
a girl thing.
- When you choose
to share a bed
when you've got
a ----ing suite--I don't know.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
I need to call you up on that.
- Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
Bring it on.
Apparently, I'm a lesbian.
♪ ♪
- Coming up:
- I would defend
all my girlfriends.
- Well, not always.
♪ ♪
- (BLEEP) you.
- Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
Bring it on.
Apparently, I'm a lesbian.
- No, that's ridiculous,
but the friendship
that you guys have--
I feel like it's
a reigning pattern
where whenever I say anything
about you and Teddi,
or if I've said something
that Teddi says,
you immediately get,
like, this blind defensiveness.
Kyle and Teddi
are a package deal,
so you know if you're having
any issue with one,
you're gonna have
to deal with two people.
When things aren't
a big deal,
I don't say it.
- Well, I-I--
- It registered for her,
which is what made her go--
- Are you her mouthpiece?
But he didn't mean it
that way.
- But you know
how it hurt my feelings.
- Then he goes,
"But we're good."
- I'm not talking
about that right now.
- No, but you're the heart
of the whole situation.
- Do me a favor.
Let me have a conversation
with Kyle for two seconds.
Which makes being friends
with both of them
extremely frustrating.
And you're mad at me
for turning up
to Teddi's event later
when she's not even mad!
- We all got up
at, like, 5:00 in the morning.
Okay, let's be honest.
And then, all of a sudden,
it's like,
you walk in at 1:00...
- But you knew
she was coming late.
- Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
So it's not just
coming in at 1:00.
It's coming in
in your Barbie glam look...
♪ ♪
- Oh, those are fighting words.
- For a workout
when you're not even
working out.
- Firstly, thank you
for the compliment,
and what the (BLEEP)
do you care?
- If you're gonna come
and support a friend,
just ----ing come
and support her,
but don't come
in your fake workout clothes
with your posing on Instagram,
saying, "Workout Barbie glam,"
but you're not coming
for the ----ing workout.
It's ----ing weird!
- But why are you judging her?
[all talking at once]
- You're judging her, Kyle.
- No, I'm just say--
because it's not genuine.
- So she looks
like a ----ing model.
Who cares?
- Denise.
- Kyle.
- You're just being
a bit mean right now.
- You don't think
being mean,
saying that I slept--
Teddi slept in my bed is mean?
Like, hello.
- But that's actually true.
- Can we just wait
until these ----ing kids
get through?
- Oh, yes, of course.
- Okay, wait.
- Shh, I'm so sorry.
I don't mean to be
an asshole...
- All right, fine,
we can ----ing whisper.
I'm gonna get up
and get ice cream, then,
when they're done.
♪ ♪
[exasperated sigh]
- Teddi.
Teddi.
- I mean, "ragamuffin"
is not the nicest word,
but I could've said worse.
- I feel like Dorit
is irritated
because she thinks
that you blindly rush
to Teddi's defense
in our group.
- Thank you.
You guys
come as a package deal.
I don't think
you would blindly defend
anyone in the group
like you have Teddi.
- I defend you
all the ----ing time.
I lost
one of my closest friends
defending you.
I will defend what's right.
Okay?
I can't sit there
and say, "I do not believe
Lisa did this."
- You think I would give
a story to "Radar Online"...
- Yes.
- About Dorit?
- Yes.
- Bye, Kyle.
Show yourself out, darling.
- Talk about selective memory.
I would defend
all my girlfriends,
because I'm not friends
with assholes.
I would defend Rinna.
- Well, not always.
♪ ♪
- Well, when wouldn't I?
- When it's your sister.
- A sober person
doesn't act like that.
- That's not true.
Just don't make up stories
and spread bad rumors.
Really, Rinna?
- Well...
- You're gonna go that deep?
- Well, no, but I mean...
- Okay, I see
what you're doing now.
- No, but Kyle--
- It's fine.
- I'm just pointing out
the truth.
You can't make that statement.
If it's your sister,
you wouldn't.
- By the way,
I even still did that,
even though it cost me
a relationship with my sister,
so (BLEEP) you.
♪ ♪
So (BLEEP) off.
- Wait, don't tell her
to (BLEEP) off, Kyle.
That's not nice.
- Denise, leave me alone.
- Leave you alone?
All I said was "don't tell her
to (BLEEP) off."
It's my house, but sure,
I'll shut the (BLEEP) up.
- I'm not doing this.
I'm not.
♪ ♪
- Next time
on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills":
- Leave me alone.
I'm done with this.
I'm just gonna go home.
- That's wrong.
- Goodbye.
- (BLEEP)
- Oh, there it is.
There it is.
That's what I was waiting for.
- Yeah.
[laughs]
- So what did you hear
with me and my friends?
- We heard you guys
arguing about threesomes.
- I apologize, you know,
'cause I have, like,
the nastiest mouth ever.
I mean, I thought it was
at wild thing's house.
Maybe not.
- Finally, something
to give clarity,
and now I gave it to you.
- No, you need to be quiet.
Stop.
- No, I don't need to be quiet.
- Then I'm not
gonna finish talking.
Do you ever let people talk?
- Okay, good.
I want you to talk, but not
for you to be an asshole.
- I'm not ----ing doing this.
♪ ♪
- To learn more
about the housewives,
- Previously,
on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills":
- I would love to be sharing
this with someone.
Mike Nilon and I were married
almost nine years.
I really thought
this was my last stop.
- Amelia started
to have panic attacks
and anxiety.
The therapist said,
"I don't think it's gonna work
out for her right now."
- I'm coming to your retreat.
The thing is,
I'm coming after lunch.
- Truthfully,
I really don't care
if y'all come
or don't come.
- I was like, "Great.
I don't have to go."
- I'm gonna be very honest.
I thought that you were
gonna be a little boring.
- Do you want Sutton to come
or not come?
- Truthfully...
- You don't want her there.
- Do me a favor.
Just don't come.
[upbeat music]
- Around here,
there's more than just dresses
in everyone's closet.
- The secret to life?
Dance like everyone
is watching.
- I won't settle
for anything less
than everything.
- Life is an audition,
and honey,
I am getting that part.
- You never know
what to expect
when I'm expecting.
- Break a leg?
Not in these heels, honey.
- My life may not
be a fairy tale,
but I'll always get
a happy ending.
♪ ♪
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- I just discovered cold brew,
and I had some today,
and I'm high as a kite.
- So where's everybody else?
- Denise and Dorit
are coming down later.
- Okay.
- And Rinna's in New York.
Yeah.
I'm happy to be home.
- Happy to be home?
- And I get nervous when I
am having to work so much
and things like that.
- Yes.
- I'm having that same thing
right now.
- You are?
I have been extremely busy.
I went to New York
for fashion week.
- Don't be nervous.
- I literally am so nervous.
You have no idea.
Will you try this on
for a second, Rinna?
- That's really pretty.
- Let's do this, then.
Then I went to North Carolina.
- Have you started shooting
yet?
- Just, like,
pre-production stuff:
rehearsals, wardrobe.
I went back to New York,
and then I went back
to North Carolina.
But now I'm going back Sunday,
so I'm gonna be back to...
- Oh, wow.
- Sleeping in the day
and up all night.
Obviously, I'd rather be
home with my family right now,
but I got up
at the crack of dawn
to support Teddi.
Did you text Teddi?
- I did.
- Oh, and tell me--
tell me about that.
I'm curious.
- You know, I just apologized,
and, um, she took it okay.
She's like, "If you want
to come, come."
- "In no way did I ever mean
to upset you.
"I'm planning to come
to your event
if you'll still have me."
- She's coming.
- So I don't want
to bring it up.
I don't want to stress her out.
That's not appropriate,
and I--you know, I--
mm-mm.
I'm gonna be
a very good girl.
Yes, ma'am.
Nice to see you.
I'm fine.
Thank you so much.
[exasperated sigh]
- This is very early
to be up doing this.
- We better get good points,
friendship points, for this.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So schedule for today:
we have this,
we go right into lunch...
Then it's open time
for everybody.
- Yes.
- That's where they can do
their spa treatments,
their naps,
their journaling,
their going on a beach walk--
whatever it is they want to do.
I want it to be perfect,
so every detail
is timed out.
It starts with morning boxing.
Then we have a healthy lunch.
Then there's
a little free time,
mindful meditation,
dinner,
but the one thing
I'm not tolerating today:
my friends' petty bullsh--.
- What do I see?
I see All In by Teddi shirts.
- Oh, good.
- You're nervous?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's okay.
- Oh, 'cause of Teddi?
- Mm-hmm.
both: Don't be.
- Listen...
- We're all here--
- We're all here.
Yeah, it's okay.
- No!
- No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
- Don't feel nervous.
- No, no, you're fine.
- I know, I know.
I-I get the same way.
I feel so bad for Sutton
right now.
It's making me think back
to going
to Kelsey Grammer's show,
and Camille and I
weren't talking.
I can feel
the lump in her throat.
You're fine.
You're fine.
- There she is.
Does she have a clipboard?
[laughs]
Oh, no, I'm just kidding.
- Look at it.
She's pregnant!
I always think it's so--
how are you?
- Oh, my gosh.
Do you guys have--
- Look at this!
- Here you go!
- Hi!
- How are you?
How are you?
- Thanks for coming.
You look so cute.
- Oh, thank you.
- Would I rather be nice
to Sutton,
or have Sutton ruin my retreat
that people are paying
to be a part of?
Oh, that's right.
Be nice to Sutton.
I'll see you guys in a second.
- Where are we going?
- We're just gonna put stuff
down
in my room real quick
before we go work out.
[dramatic rock music]
- All right, ladies.
Here we go!
All right, now watch.
Here.
One, two, front knee.
One, two, front knee.
Go!
♪ ♪
- Oh.
- Switch!
- Okay.
- Go.
- Oh, ow.
Okay.
- You got it.
- Yeah.
[light music]
These gloves are hot.
- Switch!
- I'm already sweating
because I am a weakling.
- Switch!
Last drill.
- Do I just stay here?
♪ ♪
all: Three, two, one!
- We did it!
- Whoo!
- You did it.
You were so good.
- Thank you.
Oh, my God, thank you
for doing this.
I can't thank you enough.
Are we done?
[light percussive music]
- Checking in.
How you doing?
- Good.
- Good?
A'ight, where's this table
going during the off-time?
- Spa.
- Spa?
What kind of treatments?
- Massage.
- I like potato chips
and French fries.
- I just like food.
- I like--I like bread
and pasta.
- I like the food.
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Hello!
- Hello, woman of the hour.
- Thank you so much for coming.
I know how hard it is
to leave the kids,
and, like, I really,
really appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
- I am so happy
to be here, honey.
- I knew ahead of time
not to have any expectations
when it comes
to Dorit's arrival.
I have been sitting here
for over 30 minutes.
- I thought we had
between 4:30 and 5:30.
- You think I was expecting
Dorit to be on time?
No!
- Hi, guys!
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, everyone.
Hello.
- I like your workout ponytail.
- Thank you!
♪ ♪
I'm gonna go up and get food.
- How are you?
Sorry I'm sweaty.
- Oh, no.
- It's buffet style,
if you're hungry.
- Oh, no! [laughs]
- I knew that Dorit
was coming late,
but clearly, she's been
at glam for hours.
- Did you guys box?
- Oh, yes.
- How was it?
- It was good.
- Why didn't you box?
- I wasn't here.
- I know.
Why weren't you?
[laughter]
- Let me back up.
She just made a...
- I was coming late.
- I mean, is glam the reason
that she had
to come late today?
Really?
- And little announcement,
guys:
1:00 to 4:00
is free time today,
and then we have
mindful meditation,
and, yeah, have fun.
- Should we go?
- Yes.
- Let's go.
- Oh, my gosh.
♪ ♪
- Okay, we get to have
a massage out here?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- We should call Garcelle.
- Garcelle's not coming.
By the way, she said
she appreciated
you saying, "You don't want
to come, don't come."
She's like, "That, to me,
was like, 'Yay, perfect,'
I don't feel bad, then."
- When I do invites,
I've always just kind of been
like that,
because I don't want
to put pressure
or expectation on somebody.
- Well, we were talking
about this the other night.
It was more about,
"You're invited,
but if you don't want
to come, don't come,"
'cause then they feel like,
"Well, does she
really want me there?"
type of thing.
- She said, "You know,
truthfully,
"like, at the dinner,
I don't really want you guys
there."
- She never said
"I don't want you to come."
- You weren't there, Kyle.
- You didn't say
"I don't want you to come,"
right?
- If it rubbed anyone
the wrong way,
I was on the defense
that night
because I'd just gotten
out of the car with Rinna,
and she was like...
- What if someone comes
and causes sh--?
- If somebody has
a problem with me,
they shouldn't come.
- What if they do
and they're coming?
- Does someone have
a problem with me?
- I don't know.
I just--
- Rinna, what are you--
- I don't know!
- It put me on the defense,
whereas beforehand,
when I texted you guys,
I had not a worry in the world.
That car ride
shifted everything for me.
- See, I didn't know that.
- Yeah, and I was just, like--
- It kind of makes
a little bit more sense
why you would say it.
- And I was telling Erika,
"If I come to your concert,
"and the whole time,
I'm saying to your concert,
"'You know, Erika,
I'm just here to support you,
"That's the only reason
I'm here,'
"Obviously, I'm here
to support Erika,
but I don't need
to tell her that."
- Um, you lost me there.
Who said "I'm only coming
just to support you"?
- You did, actually,
at the--at Sutton's.
- I want to go
simply to support you.
Obviously, I'm--
- But no, no.
I'm gonna tell you guys.
- She doesn't want
to do the experience,
just support.
- To me,
it felt like a job,
and I was like,
"I don't want you
to have to do something
you don't want to do."
- If someone's going
to support you
and they're saying
that they want to support you,
clearly, it's not a job.
It's a pleasure.
Why the (BLEEP)
am I here?
I would much rather be home
with my kids.
What time is dinner?
- The sunset meditation
is at 5:00,
and then dinner's
right after that.
The meditation's, like,
an hour, an hour and a half.
- Oh, no.
- I don't think I can meditate
for an hour and a half.
- Dorit's like,
"I can't work out,
and I can't meditate."
[laughter]
- I'd rather have to go
to the DMV
every day for a month
than sit
in an hour-long meditation.
- Wait, where are
you bitches going?
- We're going to the bar.
- Kyle, bar!
[low percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Cheers, ladies.
all: Cheers.
- Cheers, Teddi,
even though you're not
drinking.
- I know.
- It's a mocktail.
Cheers.
- It's a mocktail.
- Chips, salsa,
and guacamole
that I can bring out
really quick?
- Yes, thank you.
- Oh, Denise said
that her car is arriving
at 4:00.
She'll be there
in time for dinner.
- What you've done--
this is crazy impressive.
- Thank you.
- I just--
I'm really sorry.
[tense music]
- It was too big of a reaction
for what was ha--was said,
but it just, like, hit a nerve,
and I overreacted.
You th--I mean--
- Well, I misspoke,
and I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
- It's all good.
- Yeah.
- To be fair, maybe just say,
"I'd love to be there."
- I did say that,
a million times!
That's what I'm trying to say.
- I know, but she's saying
the support thing.
- I'm here to support Teddi,
and then she says
I'm disingenuous,
and it brings me
right back to that Teddi
that was scheming against me
last year...
It wasn't actually
your conscience
and thought, "I don't want
to do this to Dorit."
It was, "I don't want to be
the only one
to do this to Dorit."
And really makes me question,
which Teddi am I
actually dealing with?
- What?
You need to leave early?
♪ ♪
- Coming up:
- I did not buy
into this retreat!
- Then you can leave!
- But you said--
Kyle, I have a ----ing life!
- I'm gonna go, um,
- I'm gonna go, um,
check to make sure
all the setup is done, and...
- Okay.
- What?
You need to leave early?
- If I left, she would not
even feel my absence.
- No, that's not true!
- I don't know.
- Let's go.
- We're leaving.
♪ ♪
Pull all the girls
that came with me,
my friends.
- Kyle, this is my point.
You were actually questioning
if she's gonna be mad
when she said now,
how many times
that she doesn't care,
do what you want?
and you are
the closest to her!
- Maybe move Carrie.
we can just move
this row up.
Is that cool?
- Yes.
- Thank.
Perfect.
- When I said I'd been made
to feel uncomfortable
and I might want
to leave a little early
and not intended to know
that I'm not wanted anyway--
- You can leave early!
- You just said--
- I did not buy
into this retreat.
I came to be with Teddi.
[gentle music]
- Welcome
to sunset meditation
and relaxation.
So inhale,
bringing the chin
to the chest.
Now, lifting the hands
over the top of the head,
straight up,
exhale, coming down,
bringing the hands
beside the hips.
That's it.
Just be here
for this time
you've gifted yourself.
The whole purpose
of this practice
is to subside
the thoughts that we have.
- I'm trying
to be respectful...
- You guys think that we--
- And don't want
to hurt anyone's feelings.
I was up since 5:00 a.m.
- I've been up since 4:00,
honey.
- To do what?
- She doesn't sleep.
You know
she's an insomniac.
- No, but you can leave.
- Kyle, I have a ----ing life.
I have a ----ing life.
I did not wake up
to come straight here.
- Oh, I don't?
I don't?
I mean, honestly,
after everything
that Dorit and Teddi
went through,
I thought that they
were really making an effort,
so showing up late
because you have to have
your hair and makeup done
is not really the way
to repair a friendship.
It's shallow and selfish.
Clearly, you had time
to sit in the glam chair.
Like, you got ready, so...
We're ----ing getting up
at 5:00
to sit in the ----ing car.
- If you do feel any tension
throughout your body,
breathe into that area
and let yourself sink
a little deeper
into the floor.
- Why is this a competition?
What is the ma--
- It's not, but I'm saying--
- You're saying I have no life.
We also have lives, too.
You don't think that's rude?
When I'm ----ing shooting
a movie
and doing a clothing line
and ----ing [indistinct]
- ...Negative
towards you, Kyle.
- I'm not, like,
twiddling my thumbs.
- Is that a minibar?
- That was not a slight
towards you.
That was an explanation
of why I--
- Okay, but don't expect me
to not retaliate
if you say I have
a ----ing life outside of this.
I understand
where Kyle's coming from.
It's inconsiderate.
Listen, was I late
in Berlin for the boat
because of glam?
Yes, I was.
- It's 5:40.
- The boat takes off at 6:00.
- We're not gonna make that,
you guys.
- Oh!
- It was all ----ed up,
but I'm here now.
I apologize.
And guess what.
I apologized,
and I was wrong for that.
I was also trying to look good.
- Cool, great.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hi!
- Of course.
No, you guys.
You made this the best.
- You're amazing.
- Oh, thank you guys.
- I appreciate it.
♪ ♪
- Food's available over there
if you guys are hungry.
I don't know if you guys
already ate over there.
- Oh, fajitas night.
That's right.
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God.
Do we want a fajita?
- I mean, let me look
at Teddi's first,
and then decide.
- I know.
We've, like, literally
nonstop eating,
but that looks good, too.
- It's good.
- Get a little bit?
- Yes.
- Okay, we'll get a little bit.
- It's yummy.
- Oh, what is wrong with me?
I've eaten all fricking day.
- What is wrong with me?
- Come on, we're eating.
♪ ♪
- Hi, girls.
- Ah!
She made it!
- Hi!
- Wow.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my gosh.
No, I was like--
- I had to work earlier.
- When I found out,
I'm like,
"She's leaving at 4:00?
No!"
I felt so bad.
- Took you, like,
2 1/2 hours?
- I don't even know.
I was, like, on the phone,
answering emails.
- Did you have a good time?
♪ ♪
- These are tough subjects.
I would definitely
not broach that.
- All right, all right.
- [sighs]
I don't even know
where to begin.
So it's a lot.
- Um, Kyle was like,
"Why weren't you here
earlier?"
- You came late,
but you had time to do glam.
- Oh, God.
Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
- PK's away.
I'm with my kids.
I brought them to school.
I didn't want to sit in traffic
after they get out of school
when I can get
other things done
and be here
in the exact same time.
I came here.
I've had lunch.
I've had massage.
[laughter]
I've had ----ing snacks.
- That is so generous
of you.
- I sat in the bar
for six hours.
- "I ate,
and I had a massage."
"By the way, Kyle,
"I had to get my hair done,
"get my makeup done,
"find a workout outfit
"that I'm not actually
gonna work out in,
"drive all the way
to Teddi's retreat,
because I have a life, Kyle!
Okay?"
- I got ready in less time
than you got ready today,
so don't even try.
- I don't think so.
I literally--
- Do not try
to suggest, Kyle...
- I put mascara on
in the car ride over here.
- And make me look bad.
- I'm not trying
to make you look--
- No, you are!
- I'm not!
- You are.
- I am not.
- I am taking offense
to it now.
This isn't even your event,
and Teddi doesn't even have
a problem with it.
Why are you attacking me?
You're making me look
like I am a selfish diva.
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
- This is very nice--
you did this,
and that you invited
your dysfunctional family.
- Thank you.
[laughter]
- I'm so tired.
- I'm ready to go.
- Coming up:
- I just, like,
start shaking,
and I start freaking out.
I've thrown up before.
I want to get evaluated.
[percussive music]
- What is this juice place
we're going to?
- Um, this place.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- I need energy so badly.
I'm gonna have
the maca fuel, please.
- Okay.
- Okay, I'll do
the turmeric shot,
and we'll do
a yummier juice.
So we have both of these.
I feel like I need
some sugar in my life.
- The cookies
are really good.
- The peanut butter one
looks dank.
- I'm gonna--
let's get a peanut butter one.
[terminal chimes]
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Should we sit outside?
- Yeah.
- I like this place.
- Do you have
any hand sanitizer
in your little pouch?
- Um, you know,
I don't have any,
um, 'cause I didn't bring
my regular purse.
- Here's your juice...
- Thank you so much.
- And your shot
and your maca fuel.
Enjoy.
Thank you!
- Cheers.
- I'm going to figure out
my anxiety next week.
- Meaning?
- It's like--
it's just, like, pretty bad,
and I don't know.
I want to get evaluated.
- Listen.
A year ago,
Amelia was going
through body dysmorphia issues.
You guys have to eat
a little bit for Dad.
- No, I'm just not hungry.
I'm allergic to everything.
No matter how many deaths
anorexia causes,
all I cared about
was the skinniness.
I could've died.
- Amelia's come
a long way,
but when I was in New York,
after Kyle's fashion show,
I was able to spend
some time with Amelia,
and in spending time
with her,
I could see
she was in trouble.
- When I'm in situations
I don't want to be in,
or that I'm afraid of,
all
of my decision-making tactics
in my brain shut down,
and I just, like,
start shaking,
and I start freaking out.
I've thrown up before.
- I can't imagine
if you were still in New York,
to be honest with you.
- I really can't either,
and I'm just
so much happier here.
- I think what was
at stake for Amelia
if she stayed in New York
was her life.
Would she become suicidal?
Would she make
a bad choice
in a split second
because of depression?
You do not (BLEEP) around
with that
when you have a teenager.
I don't think you were ready
to be there.
I don't think you were ready...
- Look, I can do
my own laundry,
and I can vacuum my floor,
and I can make my bed
and all that,
but to be 3,000 miles away
and also do it...
No, like...
- I couldn't do it.
Remember?
I didn't even end up
going to school.
You lasted longer
than I did.
Here's what happened
at Emerson.
I got in,
and five days in,
I was so homesick
I thought I would die.
- And to be
3,000 miles away,
I couldn't just drive
to you guys
and be like, "Hey, I miss you."
- I know.
I didn't even walk on campus.
I came home.
I went to University of Oregon
after that,
but I couldn't make it
past three months
at University of Oregon.
I failed.
I didn't do it.
Oh, yeah, I was ----ed up
for a while from that.
Take me through exactly
what you've done
up to this point.
- I have
all my math requirements
to transfer into USC,
but this is so that
if I get in,
then I won't have to take
another math class.
I'll have my math credits
for college.
- Good, 'cause I'm not
gonna put you
on a rowing machine
and take a picture of you
and say that--
- That was the wrong thing
to say.
I'm trying to get
into USC here.
I'm like, "Let's not.
Let's just, like..."
- Joking.
I would never, ever do that.
I wouldn't.
Amelia not staying in New York
I think is just a bump
in the road.
The plan is to get her
back in school,
but before we do that,
we've got to get
her anxiety under control,
and that's gonna take
a lot of work.
Oh, there's paparazzi.
(BLEEP)
Um, then that's
what we'll do.
- Why didn't I bring
my glasses?
- It's all right.
There's paparazzi there.
There's paparazzi there.
Hi!
- I just would like
my sunglasses.
- They're everywhere.
We're so Hollywood.
"Oh, my God,
there's the paparazzi.
Where are my glasses?"
Hi!
- You are a handful.
- I am a handful, aren't I?
[dance music]
♪ ♪
- What you got
going on here?
- I was making you
a tequila.
- Oh, that's nice.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you want a single
or a double?
You might want a double
after everything
I have to tell you.
- Oh, you read my mind.
- I'm sorry.
It's been a day.
Cheers.
- What you got cooking?
- [laughs] Happy Friday.
Well, it's been crazy.
These fires.
I didn't realize, like,
it's brought on, like,
post-traumatic stress
from the last year.
I woke up to news
that there is a fire
30 miles away,
and the fires
move quickly here.
The smoke is coming through.
I'm getting a little nervous.
It's a reminder
of what happened
almost a year ago.
I don't think we're gonna be
living back here very soon.
Oh, our beautiful community.
Ugh, the smell is so bad.
- I can smell it.
Look at all this soot.
- The wind blew
all this sh-- over,
so I'm gonna have
to clean all this.
- Yeah, it was super windy.
- It was so windy today.
I am so over living
in Malibu.
I don't--I cannot go
through another fire.
We came back to Malibu
because the kids
go to school here,
and I don't want
to move their schools.
So even though I don't want
to really live here right now,
I'm doing it for my kids.
See, this is nice now.
There's not wind,
so I think we're good.
I think the pizza oven's
gonna be there,
and then we'll do
the buffet here,
and then the bar,
and I'll put the kids over here
so that they have privacy
and they feel like they
can talk without us hearing.
- Do the ladies know
not to wear, you know, heels?
- I told them
grass-appropriate shoes.
- Perfect.
- Saturday night,
Aaron and I
want to have everyone over.
- Okay.
- We want to have
wood-fired pizzas.
It's outside.
There's grass,
so no pointy-ass heels.
- Oh, it's grass!
- Instead of the desserts
they recommended,
I asked for a sundae bar.
- I love it.
- Right?
And we're gonna do
every topping.
She sent it.
It looks really good.
We're not having
your typical, you know,
Beverly Hills dinner party.
- This is a wild porcini
cappuccino...
- Oh!
- Oh.
- Delicious.
- We don't want dessert
that people
couldn't pronounce,
so we're like,
"(BLEEP) it.
We're gonna have
a ----ing goddamn sundae bar."
- When are people
showing up?
Tomorrow?
What time?
- Well, it starts at 5:30.
I'm very excited
they're all coming.
- Yeah.
- This is our first time
all of the women together
since Kyle's dinner.
I know that a few of them
are upset
that Dorit showed up late
at Teddi's--
you know, her retreat.
- Who cares?
Does it matter?
I don't know.
I'm just--I'm curious.
- So anyhoo, this could be
what the issue is
at our lovely pizza
and ice cream dinner.
- So do you think
this is gonna be, like,
a food fight thing
going on, or...
- Yeah, I don't know.
At this rate,
I kind of hope so,
'cause at least
they'll resolve this sh--.
- Coming up:
- You did a lesbian thing?
- I just made out
with a girl.
- I was with a couple.
- What is the difference?
- There is a penis
and two vaginas.
[heavy dance music]
- All right, let's do this.
Who's hungry?
- Me!
- Ready?
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- All right.
Who's gonna open the door
for the lady?
- Which--this door?
- [laughs] Yeah, that door.
The door you go into.
Thank you.
Hi.
How are you?
- Good.
- Dinner for three.
- Follow me.
- Awesome.
Thank you so much.
[light music]
Thank you so much.
- No problem.
Would you like some waters
to start you off?
- Yes, please.
- Do you want me to put
anything in for you,
or not quite yet?
- Yeah, no,
why don't we go ahead
and do that?
They have to get home
and do homework.
- Um, can I get
the Italian pizza, please?
- Italian pizza.
- Um, I'm gonna do
the short ribs.
Is that good?
- Yeah.
- I'll just have
a cheese pizza.
- Cheese pizza.
- Can I also get
a thing of Coke, please?
- Coke.
- Coke?
Jax...
- Mom...
- Is that okay?
- That's fine.
- Sounds good.
- Yeah, it's fine.
- The custody arrangement
between me and my ex
is that we have the boys
50/50.
We got invited
to the "Spider-Man" premiere.
- Oh, cool.
Is that this week?
- It's tomorrow,
and I know you get 'em
back tonight.
- No, that's fine.
- You sure?
- Of course.
- Coming from where
we came from,
being divorced,
and it was so devastating,
I'm shocked
that we're co-parenting
as well as we are.
Your dad wants you
to call him.
[line trilling]
- Hello!
- Hello.
- Are you on top
of everything this week?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
Babe, we just want you
to do well.
- I am.
- Mike and I
are on the same page,
but if you ask my kids,
I am strict.
You're gonna help
set the table.
You gotta do the dishes.
You know, sweatshop stuff.
[laughs]
Oh, my God, please don't drink
that whole thing.
Thank you.
- Can I have some?
- [laughs] No.
- Pour your brother some.
That way, you don't have
to drink it all.
I'm okay with being strict.
I grew up
with a strict family.
I was scared to break
the rules as a kid,
because you would--
you know.
It's a black mama.
They're not playing.
Are you excited
about the new house?
- Yeah.
I don't have to share a room
with this...
- With your nice brother?
- With my nice brother.
- That's not what
you were gonna say.
[laughs]
- Are you gonna decorate
your room?
- Oh, yeah.
- The boys--
they're excited.
- They're excited.
- They're getting
their own room.
'Cause they've been sleeping
in bunk beds.
Big deal.
I mean, I grew up in Haiti.
If I was a little girl
living in this new house,
I would look around and say,
"How many people
are living here?
I can't imagine it's just
one family living here."
You would have cousins
and uncles
and aunts and grandparents.
- I'll have my little area
with my beanbag
and my, uh, monitors.
- To provide something
like this for my boys
on my own--
it's a great feeling,
but it's also important
for them to know
that you're lucky you get
the things you have,
but you also have
to earn them.
So do you guys
have anything you want
to talk about,
any--anything that you
would like to be different?
- Yeah.
You know what I want
to be different?
[awkward music]
- What?
- Yeah.
- You want Gucci.
- Yeah.
- You need to get a job.
- We are 11.
- Yeah, okay, exactly.
So you don't need a Gucci
if you can't have a job.
- Like, you have
Gucci flip-flops.
- I'm a grown-up.
I work for my stuff.
- I saw them in your closet.
- You're not getting
Gucci anything.
That's obnoxious.
Ooh, yay.
- Ooh, delicious.
- I am starving.
- Thank you.
- Uh, who's gonna say
the prayers?
We shouldn't even--uh, hello.
- Dear Lord,
thank you for this food
we are about to receive
to nourish and strengthen
our bodies,
thank you
for this beautiful day,
and thank you for bringing us
all together as a family.
Amen.
- Amen.
Bon appétit.
- Bon appetet.
- No one says "bon appetet."
- We do.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, this looks so pretty!
- It does look pretty.
- It's coming together, right?
- It is.
We'll make it happen.
- I hope.
I still have to get ready.
- We have plenty of time.
You have, like, ten minutes.
- Oh, this looks so nice.
They did an amazing job.
I love that.
- Oh, wow.
That is something else.
- It looks good.
It's big.
I think it'll look pretty.
Don't you think this is
a nice touch
with our pizza party?
You always have to have
a little sparkle,
even if it's casual.
♪ ♪
- What time are we leaving?
- We should be leaving soon!
It's a little tiny bit
uncomfortable.
- Why?
- Dorit and I are having
a little bit of an issue
right now.
- You are?
- Yeah.
And we went
to Teddi's retreat thing.
Dorit showed up
at, like, 1:00,
so she missed the whole workout
and everything,
but she shows up like--
she had, like,
a workout glam...
[dog whimpers]
And I said something like--
oh, honey, are you
listening to me,
or are you watching the dog?
- I was just getting distracted
'cause the dog's doing
funny stuff down there.
- Well, don't, 'cause I'm
already stressed to go there.
It just became a thing.
But then later,
at the table,
she said something like,
"Well, why don't you
just stay here?
"You can sleep with Teddi.
You like--
you guys like
to sleep together,"
or something like that.
- Honey, you sleep
in the same bed
together all the time.
- I love you
more than anything.
- [indistinct]
- Why do you say that?
I love you so much.
We're sisters.
- [indistinct]
- I don't know
if she is jealous
of my friendship with Teddi,
but bringing up
that she stayed in my bed
one night?
That is really grasping
at straws.
That's all you got, Dorit?
But I haven't seen her
since then,
so it's probably
coming up tonight.
[percussive music]
- So Jaggy, I'm gonna go
to my friend's house.
My friend Garcelle's
gonna be here any minute,
and I'll be back later.
- Mama, do you have to?
- I don't have to,
but I did commit to it already.
- I know, baby.
I know.
Having my children cry
and beg me to stay--
that alone creates this worry.
Oh, my God, am I
the worst mother in the world?
If you want, you can sleep
in Mommy's bed tonight.
Okay?
'Cause Daddy's
not even home yet.
And then, when PK's
out of town,
it's just me.
I'm not even there for them
if they need me.
This is what I meant, Kyle,
when I said I had a life.
Let me just check the time,
bubba-lish.
♪ ♪
- Okay, so tonight,
the husbands that are coming--
well, there's Aaron,
of course.
- Right, and Edwin.
- Edwin.
- Well, PK's in London.
- See, I feel weird
I haven't spoken to Dorit.
Like, she could've ridden
with us.
♪ ♪
- This is the way
to Kyle's house.
Are we picking up Kyle?
- It's a great neighborhood.
[both laugh]
Yeah, are we?
When was the last time
you saw Kyle,
as a matter of fact?
- Last time I saw Kyle
was at the retreat.
I haven't spoken to her,
which is a little odd.
- [gasps] Oh!
- I'm gonna call
Edwin and Teddy
and see if they're
on their way.
- Try Dorit.
- I can't call Dorit right now.
- Joking.
- [sighs]
- Coming up:
- Apparently I'm a lesbian.
- I need to call you up
on that.
- Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
- Bring it on.
[light percussive music]
- Is this the right house?
- I don't know.
- It's the backyard?
- Yeah.
It's definitely set up
for a party.
- Wow, this is so pretty.
- I guess we're
the first ones here.
- Where is everybody?
What time is it?
- 5:35.
- I know.
Sorry.
- I think that we're early
or something.
- We must be super early.
- All right, I'll go change
really quick,
and then I'll go outside.
- That a diamond?
[laughs]
That's so fancy.
- It's beautiful.
- A diamond ice sculpture?
This is, like...
- There's a theme?
- I'm confused.
This is not the Denise
that I know.
New house, who dis?
- Where's Eloise?
- You look so pretty, Mom.
- I do?
Thank you.
- Yeah, you look really good.
- Thank you.
- Hello!
- How's it going?
- Hello!
- It's going good.
How are you, Mauricio?
- Hi, ladies.
- How are you, Rinna?
- Hi!
Oh, how are you?
- So good to see you.
- You'll like this.
Hibiscus tea and something
with, like...
- Okay.
all: Cheers!
- Cheers, cheers.
- We didn't know if we were
at the right house.
- Where is she?
Where are they?
Denise Richards is
the biggest flake
on the planet.
- I thought it was supposed
to start at 2:00.
- Maybe she's not
left home yet.
- We have to hurry
before everyone leaves.
- No, I sit there.
- When's it happening?
- There he is.
- Oh, my God, do you need help?
- Hi!
- No, I'm good.
- Your house is so cute.
I love it.
- Thank you.
Good to see you.
You all right?
- How are you?
- How cute is this place?
I'm good.
I'm good.
- Welcome.
- Thank you for having me.
- You're welcome.
- This is so cute.
- Yeah, thank you.
- I love it.
- Look at you.
Nautical vibe.
- I know.
I'm doing nautical.
- Nautical vibes.
How are you?
- I'm good.
How are you?
- Hi, guys!
How are you?
- Hi!
- Hi. How's it going?
Nice to see you.
- Good.
How are you?
- I'm good.
- What's going on, brother?
♪ ♪
- What is
your drink of choice?
- You know, I do like tequila,
but I also like champagne.
- Is Aaron outside?
Okay, good.
- So you like champagne.
- Oh, my God.
Look at you girls.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- This is your jeans outfit?
- [laughs]
- Hi.
How are you?
You guys look
so beautiful.
- Hi, baby.
- There's Dorit.
- She's so cute.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi!
- Hi, everyone!
- Hi, how are you?
Hi, baby.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Honey, how are you?
- Oh, you have a little--
oh, is that supposed
to be like that?
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, I was about to rush
to push it out of the way.
Sorry.
I feel a little anxious
to see Dorit,
because we haven't resolved
anything,
so I know a conversation
has to happen.
- Hi, hi!
- Teddi, how are you?
- How's it going?
- I've heard everyone's side
of the story.
- Oh, see,
it's like a thing now.
It's a ----ing thing.
- Yeah, oh, yeah.
- Kyle and Dorit had a thing
about Dorit being late,
and Dorit said
something like,
"Well, I have a life."
- I was in New York City,
and I was seeing the photos.
- It was a whole photo shoot...
- There was, like,
a photo shoot.
- Of...
[light music]
- What is she doing?
- You feeling me?
- What is happening?
- If she really, genuinely
just had to take
her kids to school,
and then be late, fine,
but what I've seen
on your Instagram was...
You had a full photo shoot
with glam
posing in your living room
for I don't know
how many hours.
I mean, hello,
I have a life.
Oh, your daughters are here.
Hi, honey.
How are you?
- Girls, say hello to everyone.
- Nice to see you.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi.
- Hi, Lola.
How are you, baby?
- All such cute names.
- Let me go see
where the food is.
♪ ♪
Okay, food's coming out.
- Is it time?
Okay, great.
- Is that delicious?
I'm really jealous of that
pink whatever's in there.
- Why is there
so many diamonds everywhere?
[both laugh]
♪ ♪
- All right, grab a plate.
Get your food.
- Oh, come on, gang.
- Yay!
- Ooh, what are
the different kinds?
- Short rib, chicken pesto,
buffalo mozzarella,
or margherita.
- I cut the line.
- Oh, shocker!
Um...
- No, we gotta talk about it,
because I think she--
- Huh?
- Give me the inside situation.
- No, she feels
like she doesn't understand
why you're so mad at her.
- I wasn't late.
There was no itinerary.
- Right.
- So I really want
to understand why she was
so upset that day.
- Oh, 'cause you got--
she got to you.
[both laugh]
I see what's happening here.
- I would like
to make a speech
and thank all of you
for coming here,
and my wonderful kids
over there.
- Aww.
- Uh, it means a lot to us
that you guys came out here.
We love you,
and we're all so happy
that you're here,
so thank you.
- So exciting.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
We're very excited.
Thank you.
- So you guys are married
over a year now.
- Yes, and he's
let himself go.
- You know what?
It happens.
It happens.
- You guys had
a busy first year.
- Right?
- But he really didn't
let himself go.
- She's joking.
- Honey, I'm joking.
- Oh, I'm like--
- He still has a big penis
and big muscles,
so it's all good.
[laughter]
- You know, I haven't seen you
with--
- Anyone
since my ex-husband.
- My husband knows
some good men.
- Oh, my gosh, yes!
Mauricio, Moe,
hook a sister up.
- Yes.
- What's your type?
I like dark skin.
I like dark skin
and an accent.
- Is that why you and Teddi
are so close?
Because her husband
has an accent.
- This is
a really big stretch.
The fact
that Edwin's Hispanic--
another reason that Kyle and I
have joined forces
to go against her?
Keep reaching.
Reach.
- Teddi's not my type normally.
I've never done
the lesbian thing.
- I haven't either.
Like--
- When I was modeling,
when I was modeling.
- You did do a lesbian thing?
- Yeah.
I just made out with a girl.
When you're young
and you're modeling,
and you're free,
I think things happen.
I kissed a girl,
and I liked it.
- Oh, my God.
I wish my kids weren't here.
- Uh, I was with a couple.
- [gasps]
- You dated a couple?
- You dated a couple?
For how long?
♪ ♪
- I had dated someone
that had married
someone I knew,
so when they became
a couple,
we went out on a date,
and I could just kind of tell
where everything was going.
You know, I could tell
that they were into it,
and you know what?
Fine.
Hey, so was I.
- Wait a minute.
Hold on.
So did you have
both of them separately?
- No, no, no.
I've never been with a girl.
I've only been
with a couple.
- What is the difference?
- There is a penis
and two vaginas.
- [laughs]
- I know!
- See, thank you for...
- Oh, my God.
I gotta get my kids
out of here.
- Why are these women
clutching the pearls?
- Oh, my God.
- This is my favorite kind
of conversation.
- These sluts?
Like, come on.
- I had a threesome
long time ago.
- Tell me more, Garcelle.
- It's just--Garcelle.
- It's just you and I.
- It's just us.
Tell me more.
- I'm done.
I am so done
at this table.
My lips are sealed.
It's only between me and her--
and her.
Have you been with a girl?
- No!
- I never had
a threesome, either.
- Rinna, come on.
- Swear to God.
- I'm shocked, 'cause
you're like sex on a stick.
- I know.
No girls touched
this hoo-hoo, ever.
- There might be
some conversation
that's very adult...
- Yeah, so it's fine.
- It's fine.
- I'm a very open,
sexual person.
Aaron had never had
a happy ending,
and we were on the hunt.
- For one?
You wanted one?
- No, I wanted him
to have one.
But that doesn't mean
that I want my kids
hearing this kind of stuff.
- I've never done
a girl thing.
- When you choose
to share a bed
when you've got
a ----ing suite--I don't know.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
I need to call you up on that.
- Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
Bring it on.
Apparently, I'm a lesbian.
♪ ♪
- Coming up:
- I would defend
all my girlfriends.
- Well, not always.
♪ ♪
- (BLEEP) you.
- Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it.
- Let's talk about it, baby.
- Let's talk about it.
Bring it on.
Apparently, I'm a lesbian.
- No, that's ridiculous,
but the friendship
that you guys have--
I feel like it's
a reigning pattern
where whenever I say anything
about you and Teddi,
or if I've said something
that Teddi says,
you immediately get,
like, this blind defensiveness.
Kyle and Teddi
are a package deal,
so you know if you're having
any issue with one,
you're gonna have
to deal with two people.
When things aren't
a big deal,
I don't say it.
- Well, I-I--
- It registered for her,
which is what made her go--
- Are you her mouthpiece?
But he didn't mean it
that way.
- But you know
how it hurt my feelings.
- Then he goes,
"But we're good."
- I'm not talking
about that right now.
- No, but you're the heart
of the whole situation.
- Do me a favor.
Let me have a conversation
with Kyle for two seconds.
Which makes being friends
with both of them
extremely frustrating.
And you're mad at me
for turning up
to Teddi's event later
when she's not even mad!
- We all got up
at, like, 5:00 in the morning.
Okay, let's be honest.
And then, all of a sudden,
it's like,
you walk in at 1:00...
- But you knew
she was coming late.
- Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
So it's not just
coming in at 1:00.
It's coming in
in your Barbie glam look...
♪ ♪
- Oh, those are fighting words.
- For a workout
when you're not even
working out.
- Firstly, thank you
for the compliment,
and what the (BLEEP)
do you care?
- If you're gonna come
and support a friend,
just ----ing come
and support her,
but don't come
in your fake workout clothes
with your posing on Instagram,
saying, "Workout Barbie glam,"
but you're not coming
for the ----ing workout.
It's ----ing weird!
- But why are you judging her?
[all talking at once]
- You're judging her, Kyle.
- No, I'm just say--
because it's not genuine.
- So she looks
like a ----ing model.
Who cares?
- Denise.
- Kyle.
- You're just being
a bit mean right now.
- You don't think
being mean,
saying that I slept--
Teddi slept in my bed is mean?
Like, hello.
- But that's actually true.
- Can we just wait
until these ----ing kids
get through?
- Oh, yes, of course.
- Okay, wait.
- Shh, I'm so sorry.
I don't mean to be
an asshole...
- All right, fine,
we can ----ing whisper.
I'm gonna get up
and get ice cream, then,
when they're done.
♪ ♪
[exasperated sigh]
- Teddi.
Teddi.
- I mean, "ragamuffin"
is not the nicest word,
but I could've said worse.
- I feel like Dorit
is irritated
because she thinks
that you blindly rush
to Teddi's defense
in our group.
- Thank you.
You guys
come as a package deal.
I don't think
you would blindly defend
anyone in the group
like you have Teddi.
- I defend you
all the ----ing time.
I lost
one of my closest friends
defending you.
I will defend what's right.
Okay?
I can't sit there
and say, "I do not believe
Lisa did this."
- You think I would give
a story to "Radar Online"...
- Yes.
- About Dorit?
- Yes.
- Bye, Kyle.
Show yourself out, darling.
- Talk about selective memory.
I would defend
all my girlfriends,
because I'm not friends
with assholes.
I would defend Rinna.
- Well, not always.
♪ ♪
- Well, when wouldn't I?
- When it's your sister.
- A sober person
doesn't act like that.
- That's not true.
Just don't make up stories
and spread bad rumors.
Really, Rinna?
- Well...
- You're gonna go that deep?
- Well, no, but I mean...
- Okay, I see
what you're doing now.
- No, but Kyle--
- It's fine.
- I'm just pointing out
the truth.
You can't make that statement.
If it's your sister,
you wouldn't.
- By the way,
I even still did that,
even though it cost me
a relationship with my sister,
so (BLEEP) you.
♪ ♪
So (BLEEP) off.
- Wait, don't tell her
to (BLEEP) off, Kyle.
That's not nice.
- Denise, leave me alone.
- Leave you alone?
All I said was "don't tell her
to (BLEEP) off."
It's my house, but sure,
I'll shut the (BLEEP) up.
- I'm not doing this.
I'm not.
♪ ♪
- Next time
on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills":
- Leave me alone.
I'm done with this.
I'm just gonna go home.
- That's wrong.
- Goodbye.
- (BLEEP)
- Oh, there it is.
There it is.
That's what I was waiting for.
- Yeah.
[laughs]
- So what did you hear
with me and my friends?
- We heard you guys
arguing about threesomes.
- I apologize, you know,
'cause I have, like,
the nastiest mouth ever.
I mean, I thought it was
at wild thing's house.
Maybe not.
- Finally, something
to give clarity,
and now I gave it to you.
- No, you need to be quiet.
Stop.
- No, I don't need to be quiet.
- Then I'm not
gonna finish talking.
Do you ever let people talk?
- Okay, good.
I want you to talk, but not
for you to be an asshole.
- I'm not ----ing doing this.
♪ ♪
- To learn more
about the housewives,