The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Charity Cases - full transcript
Taylor shares the reasons behind her charitable heart, while Kyle takes her philanthrophy to the road.
- previously on the real
housewives of beverly hills:
- paranoid and delusional.
get your story straight.
- she really acted like
a crazed homeless woman.
- I think kim
should be dating.
i think it's probably time.
- so this is your, uh,
first date together?
- this is our first meeting
together.
- your meeting.
- I like the way
you said that.
- cedric.
- Oh, my god.
- what are you doing in here?
- What are you doing?
- I just hope
he really is gay
because he spends
a lot of time with my wife.
- wow, cedric.
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
- it may look like
I have it all,
but I want more.
- in beverly hills,
it's who you know,
and I know everyone.
- money is what I have,
not who I am.
- I was a child star,
and now my most important role
is being a mom.
- in a town full of phonies,
i'm not afraid to be me.
- it's time for me
to come out of
my husband's shadow
and shine.
- hey, there.
How are you?
- how are you?
- Good.
- good to see you.
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
- mauricio and I are training
right now
for a 69-mile bike ride
up in napa valley
that is to raise money
for cancer.
ready?
- I think so.
- okay.
I've been training for
this event
with my cycling coach,
mari holden,
who is an olympic medalist.
my husband has been
so busy,
so I know he hasn't been able
to train properly.
- you should probably,
when you're on the ride,
be trying to drink, like,
one bottle every half hour
or so.
- a whole bottle?
I'll never be able to do that.
i can't even reach down
to get that right now.
- okay, we're gonna practice.
- riding bikes is something
I really have just done
with my kids for fun
on the weekends
by the beach or something.
so this was taking on
a lot.
what happens if I fall
when I'm getting my own water?
- I don't--
No, no, no, you won't--
- my feet being locked in
like this, I feel like
when I reach down, I'm gonna be,
like--lose my balance.
- so you just kind of
have to do it
and then it'll be fine.
it'll be, like,
second nature pretty quickly.
- you want a good chamois
like we have.
well, we have--
Like right now,
you have good padding there.
but if you put two of those,
it would almost be like your,
your seat on your bike.
it's too much.
- I like that seat.
- [laughs]
- mari has told me
that I have to have
an extreme bikini wax.
- not everybody,
just the smart girls.
[laughs]
- just the smart girls.
- this is not something
I wanted to do,
so I decided it would be better
to have--
that people come to me
to do the waxing,
just so I'd feel
a little more comfortable
in my environment.
- [rings doorbell]
hi, how are you?
i think we need to have
a chat about it.
- a chat?
- what you want done,
like, how much
you want taken off--
- I was thinking, like,
a dorothy hamill cut.
[both laugh]
i do not want
the telly savalas,
i'm gonna tell you that
right now.
- okay, okay.
- You really do not want--
- I'm not into that.
i didn't mean that literally.
- do they take everything off?
Yeah.
- I guess it's supposed to
make it more comfortable
on the seat,
um, less friction?
- [humming]
- that feels ever so good.
- Yeah. Okay.
- [laughs]
- yeah.
that smells so wrong.
- it will be so right
afterwards.
[tearing noise]
- [screams and laughs]
[tearing noise]
- ow!
[tearing continues]
- [laughs] look at your face.
- I'd love to get some of
this top layer.
- why are you going over there?
that feels like it's not
in a good area.
- it's tiny.
It is seriously--
- that is the maximum.
I've done now.
That was the maximum.
- okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- take a breath for me.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah--
oh, my god, yes.
oh, my god.
- [laughing]
- alexia, I'm so glad that
you're so entertained by this.
ow! My god.
[laughs]
- I did not prepare you
for that one at all, did i?
this is the last one.
- okay, okay, this feels like
a really bad one.
[tearing noise]
ow! My god.
[laughter]
- elbows.
great.
Three hooks here.
- I started off
wanting to learn kickboxing
for self-defense.
but then I realized
all women should have
at least an idea
of how to defend themselves.
so I invited taylor
to join in with my trainer.
he's a five-time
world champion kickboxer.
- all right, okay, nice.
That's pretty sharp.
- awesome.
- Okay? So that's great.
that's pretty sharp.
- Whoa. Yeah.
that was pretty good,
adrienne.
will you be my bodyguard?
- You were great.
- [laughs]
well, in all the years
I've known adrienne,
she's been involved
in martial arts,
self-defense, kickboxing,
all of these macho things
that she does
for a strong woman,
I love it.
- so why don't we start with
a few strikes?
- okay.
- Okay, take your--
that's your jab.
Great, that's not bad.
- very good.
- good, good.
- All right.
- you thinking about someone
on that, or you're just--
[laughter]
doing your thing?
- I'll never tell.
[laughs]
- one, two, three.
two, three, four.
- that's really good, adrienne.
Your face too.
- do I look angry?
you know,
this would be amazing
for the women at
my crisis center.
- oh, yeah.
i volunteer for
the 1736 family crisis center.
take the thumbs,
over the top--
- come around.
Strike.
- and then out of here.
- And then you're out of there.
- it's a safe haven
for women and children
who have experienced
domestic violence
within their home.
always end on a knee strike.
- always end on a knee strike.
- this has been amazing.
I really appreciate it.
- my pleasure.
- Thank you so much.
- you did great.
- I have a lot to learn,
but I've enjoyed it.
- Thanks, kev.
- thank you.
See you soon.
- for the last three years,
the crisis center has had
a celebrity poker tournament
to raise money,
and this year,
we're fortunate enough
to have annie duke,
who's won the world series
of poker
chairing
our poker tournament.
the poker tournament
for the crisis center's
coming up,
and you should come.
i'd love for you to learn
a little bit more about
the organization.
- I want to, absolutely.
- play a little poker,
it'll be fun.
- yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
i'm not very good, but--
- I'm not either, but
we'll make it fun regardless.
- adjust your mirror,
okay?
and not so
you look at yourself, cedric.
you adjust your mirror
so you can
see what's going on
behind you, okay?
cedric and I need to
get our american
driving license,
which to me
is a scary concept.
well, I am driving with
my english license,
which is perfectly legal,
but however, um,
after a certain amount of time
living here,
you have to have
an american driving license.
ooh, my shirt's undone.
i told you, it's the only way
I've got of passing.
- what if the instructor's
not a boob man?
[laughs]
- it's the only chance I have.
- all right,
let's try to do--
wait, how do you call it--
A 2.3 turn?
no, a 3.2.
- A 3.2 turn.
- was it 4.5?
- Oh, no problem.
okay, ready? Go.
[imitates tire screeching]
[both laugh]
- what is wrong with you?
you just ran over, like,
an old lady.
- turn right here, and then
you want to turn around.
around.
- Here's one. Okay.
- see,
you've got it wrong now.
- oh, stop it.
Here's two.
- you have to do it faster,
though.
I've got two licenses,
okay?
- come on,
this is ridiculous, I--
listen, I'd been driving,
okay, for 25 years.
you're not telling me--
- they didn't have any cars
25 years ago.
- oh, please.
- All right, I should--
i should practice now.
- I think once cedric
gets his license,
and that'll be the final
component in him
getting his life together
so he can move out.
okay, but you're not gonna
go crazy, are you?
- my name is not
lisa vanderpump.
[laughs]
- bye.
- what is wrong with you?
- come on.
come on.
[laughs]
i'm gonna wait for you.
[laughs]
ken has been saying
that cedric has to move out.
and I do agree with him,
it's time,
but who am I gonna play with?
- come on.
- you've gotta get up early
to catch me, cedric.
[laughs]
bye.
- hi.
- How are you?
i'm sorry I'm late.
- Oh, it's okay.
- I'm so stressed out.
- tell me why.
- um, monday I woke up
and my--
the girl who works for me
on mondays
said she couldn't come.
her baby was sick,
whatever.
and then lulu, my live-in,
decided
not to come yesterday.
- right.
- and I'm leaving for napa
on friday
so all of a sudden,
I have no housekeeper.
i went and looked in her room.
Everything's gone.
- that's not a good sign.
- no, kim, and I'm leaving
for napa. What am I gonna do?
- are you taking the kids
with you?
- well, maurice wanted it
to be like a romantic weekend.
and we never do that.
and he gave me this whole talk
about how it's not fair
that we never
do anything alone.
so I said, "okay, fine."
i caved, and I said,
"well, you know,
we'll go alone--
I'll leave the kids."
so now I think
I should bring them...to napa.
- I would take them,
personally.
i think that
they should be there.
- yeah, but look
what that's gotten you.
[laughter]
- what are you saying?
you know, I think
she gets so on me
about spending time
with my kids.
as much as she loves me,
it's, like,
she puts me down...a lot.
[cell phone rings]
- lisa.
hi, lisa.
i'm good.
How are you?
i'm sitting here at lunch
with kim.
- hi, lisa.
- hold on.
- I'm right here.
- it's been over a week
since I set up kim
on a blind date with martin.
this is your date
for tonight.
this is kim.
- Oh, good. Finally.
- hi. How are you.
- Nice to meet you.
how are you?
- Nice to see you.
- I really wanted kim
to phone martin
and to thank him
for driving her home
because it was a long way
from mohamed's house,
and she wasn't capable
of driving.
maybe she'd had
one drink too many.
- don't talk to me
like that.
"you, you, you, you, you."
Bossy, bossy, bossy.
they won't let it down,
kyle and lisa will not.
"oh, and what you did
to martin,
and you never called martin,
and you never thanked martin."
my phone died, and I didn't have
any way to call anybody.
and I apologize.
i will. Okay.
- bye.
- Bye-bye.
- what did you think of martin,
by the way?
- I actually like martin.
- I wouldn't know it.
see, this is why
you don't end up...
- I'm fine with it.
- no, you're not.
you want to go
sit back at home, alone?
- I know, I don't want
the pressure like that.
it makes me feel
uncomfortable.
- jimmy crack corn, kim.
- why do you like
that saying?
- because I don't care what
you're talking about right now.
[laughter]
- I liked martin,
and I think he liked me.
but I kind of feel like
the man should call the woman.
- ugh! Nothing's ever easy.
you--
Thank you. Sorry.
- everybody's making me out
to be this really bad person.
- no, not a bad person,
just rude.
[laughs]
- coming up...
- I'm still horrified at the
things that kyle said to me.
i think she was
out of control.
- men punch each other
in the eye, and it's over.
- it's easier.
- Boom!
- see, now, that looks great.
just like this.
Presentation is everything.
- yes, it is, my dear.
- okay, now, scott,
i'm just gonna need
a little room
on this table.
- hi.
- oh, hey, guys.
- maureen. Hi.
- you look gorgeous.
You look so pretty.
- deidre.
- Thank you.
- who brought champagne?
farchard, of course.
- Farchard!
- I am so lucky to have
a great group of friends
in my life.
they're such a solid
support group for me.
so I have a little bit
of a dilemma.
- what's your dilemma?
- my dilemma is the girls.
- Oh, boy.
- the whole kyle--
- I know, I know.
i can't help it with
bringing the kyle thing back up.
i would like to try to reunite
and try this over again.
i mean, I'm still horrified
at the things
that kyle said to me.
i think she was
out of control.
- you're such a [bleep] liar,
camille.
you know what,
you need to get help.
- I'm just trying
to figure out a way
to maybe...
- build a bridge.
- Build a bridge.
- how are you gonna do that?
why don't you have a dinner
party, or have her over?
i don't know.
Tell her something.
- that's funny.
[laughter]
- what?
- I like to forgive
and forget and move on.
i don't think I've ever
had anybody treat me
as poorly as kyle has.
i just--
I don't know what to do.
that's why I have you over,
to find out what--
i need advice. Help.
- oh, boy.
- I'd say no.
- because I'm trying
to do the right thing.
- I'm sorry, I just wouldn't
allow someone like that
into my life...again.
one time was enough.
i just think that
you're really asking for it.
- if I have a dinner,
will you be there?
maybe I should invite
some of my friends there to...
- what do you think, mom?
- to counterbalance
the energy.
- I don't really know
a lot of the background of it.
you know,
camille's a lovely person.
i think she would most likely
say, "it's fine.
we'll try again
and see what happens."
- I just want to keep the peace
between all the girls,
the rest of the girls,
and I think by doing this,
this might be--i'm trying
to offer the olive branch.
i think it's a good idea
to have the ladies over
for dinner at my house.
maybe I'm making
a big mistake.
i don't know.
We'll see what happens.
- men punch each other
in the eye, and it's over.
- it's easier.
- Boom!
- is it hot in here,
or is it me?
i'm just sitting next to nick.
That's what--
- that must be it.
- Handsome nick.
handsome nick's doing it again.
- Handsome nick.
- I say that
we just start off,
wave good-bye to everybody...
- and then somehow get
to the end.
- and then get lost
in the shuffle.
and at the end,
have someone pick us up.
- and we'll be, like,
all sweaty,
have somebody pour water
on you.
- we'll go, yeah,
to a winery,
have some wine tasting--
The wine tasting.
meet at the end,
and just act like we did it.
- now you're talking.
- so mauricio and I are
heading to napa.
and my friend christine,
who's a nurse,
offered to stay
with the girls.
i don't want to
come back monday.
- we have to.
- Why?
- 'cause there's no flights
out of there late enough.
- that's three nights.
I mean--
just so you know, that affects
my decision with the kids.
because if it's
an extra night,
that's--
I cannot do that.
- I mean,
we have no choice.
- yes, we do.
- how do you want
to get out of there?
- what if we drove?
- oh...
After the bike ride?
you think we're gonna bike
and then drive?
- I'll drive.
I don't care.
- there's no way, honey.
it's an eight-hour drive.
- Honey, I cannot be--
i can't not be here
on a monday morning.
the kids have school
and everything,
and packing the snacks--
I mean, I can't--
- that's a major [indistinct]
issue going on with you.
- it is. It is.
That's the problem.
mauricio is really trying
to squeeze three days
out of this trip.
It's just so hard for me
to leave the kids like that--
I feel guilty.
- so if we took the kids,
then you'd be fine
with three days,
and have them missing school.
- yes.
- [Laughing]
- I would rather be
with my kids
than anybody
or anything in the world.
portia, do you want
to go to napa?
- no?
she doesn't want
to go to napa.
she wants to go to--
- okay, okay, so fine.
- it's gonna be so nice.
It'll be so romantic.
- people say you're supposed
to put your husband first
because your kids grow up
and they leave.
but it's really hard for me.
can we just see about
coming back sunday night?
just do that for me.
- I will--i'll check.
i'll check, but I'm telling you
there's no flights.
- well, we can drive
to san francisco,
and we can fly out of there.
i know there's flights
all day long.
- this is very simple.
so if we feel like leaving
on sunday,
we leave sunday.
we feel like leaving monday,
we leave monday.
- okay, I feel like
leaving sunday.
[indistinct]
- [laughing]
- see my fire?
- um, amelia and I tried
making s'mores last week.
- I heard.
- we could not start the fire
for the life of us.
- we have a lot
of family barbecues.
some nights it's just
my kids and i,
and other nights,
they're, like,
"mom, can I invite so and so,
can I invite so and so?
and can they invite
a couple of their friends?"
oh, julie, hi!
what are you doing?
- How are you?
nice to see you too.
- hi.
- Hi. Mwah.
- the night before, I knew
we were gonna have a barbecue,
and so kimberly and I ran
to the market.
and there was a bunch
of guys,
and they were buying
the chicken,
and I was, like,
"uh, excuse me, guys,
"um, I don't think
you're taking all the chicken
because I'm taking
the chicken."
so as I walked away,
one of them,
he walked up, and he goes,
"hi, I'm single gary."
and I said, "well, hi.
I'm single kim."
- you should think twice
before you give
random strangers
your number.
- the whole thing with martin
was really sweet of lisa.
but she's given me so much grief
over this.
i can find my own dates.
i don't need--I don't need
everybody's help.
[cell phone rings]
oh, my god.
Is this single gary?
[laughs] so that was really fun
meeting you at the market.
sometimes I've met men
in the market.
it happens. Whatever.
so how was your barbecue
last night?
'cause I--
I mean, we were fighting
over the chicken and I did get
most of the chicken.
that's my chicken.
That's my chicken.
you know,
give me the chicken.
okay. Maybe dinner one night
would be nice.
- kimberly was there.
She was embarrassing me.
wait. Hold on.
Say hi to my daughter.
- hello. Well my mom has
a 24-year-old,
and a 22-year-old,
an 18-year-old,
a 16-year-old,
a 14-year-old,
a 12-year-old,
and a 6-year-old,
and a 2-year-old.
big family.
Mm. You'll love all of us.
- kimberly's like me.
She just does stuff like that.
she just thinks it's funny.
- come on over.
- coming up...
- listen, I've got
a very big test in a minute.
i have to study.
- how many fingers
am I holding up?
- not as many as I'll be holding
up in a minute.
- romantic.
- So romantic.
- even though I'm nervous
to leave my kids,
i'm excited to get away
with my husband.
and napa's
absolutely beautiful.
- we have a reservation
tonight.
- thank you so much.
- You ready?
- thank you.
- Awesome. Thank you.
- finally, my husband and I
got to be alone.
we didn't know people there
so felt very romantic.
- voila.
- Thank you.
- the pietro gnocchi
with spring vegetables
might be a good way to go.
uh, we're also kind of known
for the garganelli
with the rabbit sauce,
one of chef chiarello's
signature items.
- ooh. That's the one
I saw that guy eating.
it looked amazing.
- Yes, super yummy.
- amazing.
- Rabbit sauce?
- pretend it's lamb
or pretend it's veal.
- not going to happen.
- it's a little bit of mushroom,
little tomato.
- it looked amazing.
- I'm not doing that.
- that's what we're going
to have.
- I don't want to have
something with a rabbit.
- fine.
- I think a lot of times
he caves in
just because he'd rather have
things, uh, smooth.
and his philosophy is
"happy wife, happy life."
- enjoy the rest
of your bubbles.
i'll check back
in a couple minutes.
and let me know if you have
any other questions on the menu.
- thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- I can't believe we're
actually, finally away--
just you and me.
[cell phone rings]
oh, it's the kids.
Hold on. Hi, honey.
i'm not coming tonight.
I'm coming later.
in a couple days.
I'm with daddy.
- bye.
- I love you, bye.
yeah, honey,
you guys all good?
- I love you, mom.
- I love you, honey. Bye.
- so good.
- Bye, honey.
- bye, mom.
- are we going to go home
sunday night or monday?
- we'll decide at the end.
no decisions today.
- that gives me
a lot of stress.
- a little bit of anxiety.
- like I said, we'll decide
where we, uh, on the last night.
- well, is there not a flight
and you're tricking me?
- there's tons of flights.
- so why'd you tell me
we can't leave sunday night?
- I didn't want to.
- you are a tricker.
- I negotiate for a living.
so certainly I think
that when I make arrangements
with kyle, part of my
negotiating skills
just innately take affect.
- you know, I've been thinking
so much lately
about we go back and forth
about another baby.
i'm not pregnant.
don't worry.
I'm not pregnant.
- better not be dropping
any bombs on me right now.
- no, no, no, no, no, I'm not
pregnant. I'm not pregnant.
but...
- Right.
- I think
I would like to be.
- oh, my god.
you don't think it's too much
for us to handle?
- some months he says
yes, he wants a baby.
some months he says no.
he says it all depends
on what my american express bill
is that month.
if it's high,
he said "forget it.
we're done.
Factory closed."
- as a man,
I have all of the situations,
you know, that I think about,
which is, you know,
economics, you know,
retirement funds,
children's funds,
college funds.
i mean, I do want
to retire one day.
I've already hit my limit.
Four kids seems to be enough.
- well, just so you know
that if I want to,
you won't even know
what happened.
no, if we have another baby now,
I promise it's the last one.
no, because then portia
will have a little playmate.
- no, let me explain
to you something.
i promise it's the last one,
okay?
i chop off the weiner
after this thing.
it's done.
[laughs]
[doorbell rings]
- front door.
Front door?
he's here.
- hi.
- Hey there.
- oh, my gosh.
- How are you?
- wow, hi.
- westlake is small.
and anybody that lives
in this little area
is probably
not a serial killer.
so we hope.
- should've mentioned
everyone was going to be here.
- I should've told you
that it was a family situation.
hi.
- This is reilly.
- nice to meet you.
- Can you say "hi, kim"?
- we have lots of dogs.
- We have three dogs.
- he ended up showing up
with his granddaughter.
this is presley.
this is my baby.
have you met my daughter
presley?
- no.
- She's my daughter, presley.
[cell phone rings]
oh, it's okay.
you know what, her dad calls
all the time.
i can't even stand him.
I hate him.
- your daughter is hungry.
She wants you.
- oh, hang on.
i'm gonna have to go nurse.
poor guy.
here he thought he met a nice,
single mom in the market.
i told him I had, like,
eight kids,
and the youngest one's
eight months,
and I'm still nursing.
- she needs you to feed her.
- can you feed her?
- mom, I missed you.
- you do?
[laughter]
- and I go off in the corner.
and he was, like,
[inhales] "wow."
- what?
- I think I--
That is my sense of humor.
- hey, we're gonna go get
some ice cream.
you're welcome to come.
- all right. Let's all go.
- okay, good.
- I should've told you.
- next time.
- you're a little angel.
Can I have a hug?
a real hug? Aw.
- she never does this.
- Really?
good night.
- Good night. Good night.
- single gary.
- Did we like him? All?
- I liked him.
I loved his granddaughter.
- then why--
- I don't think for your mom.
- why?
Explain. I want to hear.
- you say no?
- I don't know.
- she's just a matchmaker.
- I just hook you guys up.
- I like him.
- I like him too.
- I love that he loves
his granddaughter.
- I love that he was totally
cool coming in here.
- I love--I love him.
No, I'm just joking.
i love him.
- All right.
- can't believe you're taking me
to do the test now.
when did I have time
to prepare for this test?
- oh, excuse me,
we read the book together.
so we showed up
where the dmv was.
it was in some godforsaken
place.
i don't know. I was kind
of fearing for my life.
i thought "okay, we need to get
this over and done with asap."
it's a bit
of a culture shock.
i mean, when you live
in beverly hills,
you tend to kind
of isolate yourself
from the rest of los angeles.
it was pretty kind of, uh,
eclectic, shall we say.
- hi.
you saw me last night?
- Yeah.
you were, uh, talking about...
- something you want
to tell us, lisa?
- come on. You were talking
about, uh...
- really. Honestly.
no, I promise you you've
mistaken me for somebody else.
i sat down
in the waiting room
and there was this--
Some weirdo guy
sitting in front of me.
listen, I've got a very
big test in a minute.
i have to study.
Have to. Okay.
- you're not going to be tested
on what we're talking about.
- no. But I'm not gonna pass
unless I read this bloody book.
- how many fingers
am I holding up?
- not as many as I'll be holding
up in a minute.
i was just, like,
"get me out of here
as soon as possible."
- oh, that's us. Oh oh.
- Oh, okay.
- mandarin.
no, no, english.
[laughter]
- all right.
pens are on the counter.
- This is my test?
- that is your test.
- God, I'm so nervous right now.
- the questions
are bloody difficult,
i have to be honest.
[laughs]
wish me luck.
- good luck.
- it's like,
they give you 40 questions,
and I think you're allowed
to get six wrong.
- all right.
- I'm in? I'm in?
yes!
hey, arrivederci, cedric.
[giggles]
poor cedric, I think
he needs to get a chauffeur.
i don't know.
He didn't look at the book.
he didn't study.
He didn't do anything.
stop.
- so I failed again?
oh, god.
- you did?
Oh, no.
it could be worse.
it could have been me
that failed. Yes!
maybe he failed the test
on purpose.
to delay the moving out process.
i guess I'm driving home,
right?
- yeah.
- so we've been working
like dogs
on these gift bags already.
- oh, my goodness.
Look at all these.
- there's more
in the other office.
we have about 200 done,
and then we'll be making 44 more
for the celebrities.
- okay.
Do you need help?
the 1736 family crisis center
poker tournament is tomorrow.
- so I'll tell you a little bit
about how the day will go then.
- okay.
- And then after you win
the tournament and--
- Yes.
- now, you know, we have
about 44 celebrities coming,
and we have a red carpet
starting at 2:00.
- oh, at 2:00.
- so I really was hoping that
you would walk the red carpet
since you've been such
a long-time volunteer of ours.
- okay.
- Then what I was going
to ask you to do, taylor,
and you can say yes or no,
i really want someone
like you to say a few words.
- I had a difficult
early childhood.
my parents divorced
when I was very young,
and it was hard
on my mom and i.
you know, there were things
that happened
that I don't really talk about.
and...
just some tough memories.
- you know this organization.
you've been with us
a long time.
you have a deep passion for it.
and I really want that
to be stated.
- my earliest childhood memory
literally
in blue-footed zip-up pajamas
was someone waging an attack
on my mother.
and that is why I connect
so heavily
with the work being done
at the crisis center
and especially
with the children there.
- I know I keep saying
you've got passion for it,
but you really do.
you go in there, you know,
you relate to these--
These women and children,
and I just have to tell you
that, when you leave, they cry.
and they cry
because...
- now you're gonna make me cry.
- you come in there,
and you give your heart to them.
and you come in and show it.
- I remember feeling ashamed
about the experience
that I had had,
and I was so young.
when I meet children
that are experiencing that,
i want nothing more
than them to realize
it has nothing to do with them
and everything to do
with the person
who was the abuser.
i guess I'm gonna go
back to my office,
get some work done,
and finalize my speech.
- oh, thank you so much
for everything, taylor.
- oh, honey, I love you.
I love what you do.
- coming up...
- You know,
it's really unfortunate.
we could have had
a much larger turnout
if we picked
a different weekend.
- let's head over
to the women's section.
- awesome.
I'll go browse.
- honey?
- Yeah.
- make sure
you find a good pad.
- yeah, I need
a heavy pad
for my butt.
- yeah.
honey, I want to see
your outfit.
how long did you last
on the bike in vegas?
tell the truth.
The truth.
- 10 minutes maybe.
15 minutes?
- four.
my husband is a major athlete.
he's good at every sport
he does.
so I think
he would really be tortured
if I finished the race
and he couldn't.
- but then again,
i was coming down with a cold,
so I was like--
- no, four minutes
is pretty good.
- [laughs]
- I was not four minutes.
- so let's have some fun.
- why do I have a pit
in my stomach?
- 'cause you're nervous.
You're doing your first ride.
- all of a sudden,
I look back,
and I see this sea of people
on their bicycle.
and they look
like professionals to me.
and it's feeling
very intimidating.
- three...
- two...
Both: one!
- go!
[cheers and applause]
- oh, my god.
i'm going to be run over
and smashed to the ground.
i cannot believe
the people flying by me,
whizzing by me.
i thought I was gonna have
a panic attack.
- perfect.
- They're coming so fast
and cutting at an angle.
- Yeah.
but just pick up the pace
a little bit.
that way, you don't have that
many people swarming around you.
- okay.
oh.
after losing so many
family members to cancer--
i lost my mother,
my father, an uncle--
this charity's really important
to me.
- here we go.
yeah.
okay.
- [Pants]
[both sigh]
- my mom gives me
a lot more motivation
to get out there
because that's a long bike ride.
so if I didn't have that
in the back of my head,
i don't think I could do
the 69 miles.
- good-bye, 30.
Yoo-hoo!
- oh, [bleep].
i don't see any flat ground
in the near future.
oh, god, I need this
to be over.
both: hey!
- hi.
- good to see you.
Thanks for coming today.
- ready to go?
- Yes, I'm ready to go
do our weekly run.
yay.
- This will be good.
- come on.
Let's get psyched up.
a good run.
[laughter]
you haven't done it
on the beach for a long time?
yeah, neither have i.
- okay, let's move
past that one
and let's just get going.
- after you've been married
for a while,
you don't do it anywhere.
Sorry.
it's really important for me,
especially
in the last few months,
to realize how important
women have been in my life.
so psyched.
This is gonna be great fun.
- perfect day.
- It is a perfect day.
there we go.
oh, my god,
the ocean.
- I know. Maybe we'll see
some dolphins today.
now kelsey's doing the show
through february, right?
- yeah.
- You're not gonna spend
the whole time
in new york, right?
- when kelsey first left
to do the play in new york,
the plan was
that the kids and i
were going to move there
in the summertime,
and then I got a phone call
saying that plans
have been changed.
i don't know
if I'm gonna stay full-time
in september.
kelsey and I
are gonna discuss that.
kelsey had called me and said
he might want to live
in new york full-time.
- wow, what are you gonna do
about that?
- I don't know.
my husband feels that
his career in l.a. Is over
and that new york loves him
and he's--
he told me
he feels appreciated there.
i love running on the beach
so I'm looking at the ocean.
- yup.
That's how fortunate we are.
- I am not interested in moving
back to new york full-time.
the winters are tough.
I lived there.
i'm not ready to go back.
- see, you need to come out
more often and run the beach.
see how great it is?
- when I go to new york
for the tonys, kelsey and i
really are gonna have
to have a heart-to-heart
about this new
change of plans.
- the wind is,
like, [indistinct].
- yes.
Feels good.
- [breathing heavily]
- it was probably
40 miles into the race,
and we were
climbing this hill.
this thing was five miles long
or six miles long,
and it was a straight up,
really inclined hill.
- I do not see any flat area.
- they called it, um,
the climb of death,
or something like that.
- at this point,
i'm exhausted.
there's just
no way I can do this.
ugh.
oh, my god.
oh, god,
I need this to be over.
oh, my god.
and I really felt like
maybe my mom and my dad,
their hands were on my back
at that point.
oh.
- you made it.
you made it.
See?
- oh, my god.
that definitely was the
highlight of the ride for me.
when I finally
made it to the top,
it was, like, elation.
- nobody behind us.
it was a great bonding moment.
i loved it.
the experience
of doing that with my wife
was just so great.
and, for me, you know,
being an athlete,
to have a romantic experience
together with an athletic event
was just one of the best
trips of my life.
- riders continue to finish
in the 2010 echelon gran fondo.
- nice job.
- I could not wait
to get off that bike.
- five hours and 15 minutes.
- 69 miles.
- hug.
- oh, my god.
i feel exhausted,
but I feel great.
i feel great.
my legs felt like jell-o.
i was ready at that point
to just call a taxi.
- [exhales]
- ugh.
- this is one of the happiest
moments of my life.
- oh, my god.
when we got back
to our hotel room,
i really thought,
"oh, my god,
I've done some
major damage to my body."
- no--
[laughs]
- I couldn't move.
I couldn't walk.
it was bad.
i can't even take my helmet off.
[laughter]
oh, my god.
i could no way
have gotten on a plane.
even though
we were both exhausted,
it was a really
beautiful weekend.
it was a romantic weekend.
we had time to be alone.
so he was right.
- I can't get up.
honey, take me.
- I'll give you some power.
mwah.
- Thank you.
- russell.
are you ready?
we're gonna be late.
Can we go?
leaving for
the crisis center event,
you know, I was feeling
a lot of emotions
about my impending speech.
- you know,
it's really unfortunate
that you picked this weekend.
uh, probably
half the people I invited
are traveling this weekend.
so we could have had
a much larger turnout,
picked a different weekend.
- well...
i'm really excited
to have some action,
some poker, and some fun
in support of an amazing cause.
- taylor, taylor, taylor.
- hey, annie.
- hi. How are you?
- oh, so good to see you.
- oh, my god.
Taylor, hello.
- it is par for doing
events in l.a.
you run into all kinds of...
Famous people?
- seriously.
Right there. One more time.
hey, that's my wallet.
- oh, hi.
- honey, I am so--
So sorry we're late.
- adrienne and I
are close enough
that I was comfortable
having her there
to, uh, share my story with,
but the other girls, it was much
more of a serious occasion
than just a social event,
so I thought it was best
just to have adrienne alone.
- let's shuffle up and deal.
- I know what I'm doing...
Not!
- yeah, so here...
- I've literally played poker
maybe two or three times
in my life,
because I can't gamble
in our own casino.
- oh, you won again?
- maybe we can find out
what kind of favor you worked.
- remember I told you
how lucky I am all the time?
i swear, this must be
ten hands in a row.
- you--you might win
this whole thing.
oh, my goodness.
Adrienne.
- I was very lucky.
- prior to giving my speech,
i felt incredibly nervous.
i'm gonna go take a deep breath.
- you're gonna give
your little speech right now?
- give my little speech,
take a deep breath,
and I'll see you guys
in a little while.
thank you again, annie.
i was so nervous
i didn't know if I was gonna
be able to go through with it.
- coming up...
- what many of you
may not know...
sorry.
[clears throat]
- you know, it's a story
that I typically only share
with people
at the crisis center
who have been through
some difficult circumstances.
i felt incredibly nervous.
i didn't know if I was gonna be
able to go through with it.
well, thank you so much
for coming.
the 1736 family crisis center
is an organization that is
incredibly dear to my heart
for many reasons.
what many of you may not know
is that I'm a child
of domestic violence.
sorry.
[clears throat]
one of my earliest childhood
experiences was abuse.
and so it means the world to me
that you're here today
to stand up for the people
that can't stand up
for themselves,
and to support
the women and children
who so desperately need
the money that you're donating
to make a fresh start,
and to build a life
like I have built for myself.
[cheers and applause]
- when I first heard
that taylor
had had some abuse
in her childhood,
that actually came to me
as a complete surprise.
maybe she felt, uh,
a little embarrassed by it.
as a friend,
I hope I can be there for her.
- the money
that you are raising today
for this amazing organization,
it gives them a new life.
and to move forward
and to fulfill the dreams
that are inside
each and every one of us.
i want everyone who's
been through that experience
to know that you're
the same as me.
you know,
it's just your circumstances
that are different.
and so by being there
and telling my story,
i hope that it gives hope
that they can put their
circumstances in their past
and have whatever life
they can dream for themselves.
i mean, they can live
in beverly hills just like I do.
- next time on the real
housewives of beverly hills...
- so saturday night
i'm having a dinner at my house.
- I thought, "here we go."
- you're entirely washed up.
- I'm not talking to you.
i'm talking to camille.
- you did call me
a delusional bitch.
- this is all
bull[bleep] to me.
- enough. Enough.
Enough! Enough!
- to learn more
about the housewives,
housewives of beverly hills:
- paranoid and delusional.
get your story straight.
- she really acted like
a crazed homeless woman.
- I think kim
should be dating.
i think it's probably time.
- so this is your, uh,
first date together?
- this is our first meeting
together.
- your meeting.
- I like the way
you said that.
- cedric.
- Oh, my god.
- what are you doing in here?
- What are you doing?
- I just hope
he really is gay
because he spends
a lot of time with my wife.
- wow, cedric.
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
- it may look like
I have it all,
but I want more.
- in beverly hills,
it's who you know,
and I know everyone.
- money is what I have,
not who I am.
- I was a child star,
and now my most important role
is being a mom.
- in a town full of phonies,
i'm not afraid to be me.
- it's time for me
to come out of
my husband's shadow
and shine.
- hey, there.
How are you?
- how are you?
- Good.
- good to see you.
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
- mauricio and I are training
right now
for a 69-mile bike ride
up in napa valley
that is to raise money
for cancer.
ready?
- I think so.
- okay.
I've been training for
this event
with my cycling coach,
mari holden,
who is an olympic medalist.
my husband has been
so busy,
so I know he hasn't been able
to train properly.
- you should probably,
when you're on the ride,
be trying to drink, like,
one bottle every half hour
or so.
- a whole bottle?
I'll never be able to do that.
i can't even reach down
to get that right now.
- okay, we're gonna practice.
- riding bikes is something
I really have just done
with my kids for fun
on the weekends
by the beach or something.
so this was taking on
a lot.
what happens if I fall
when I'm getting my own water?
- I don't--
No, no, no, you won't--
- my feet being locked in
like this, I feel like
when I reach down, I'm gonna be,
like--lose my balance.
- so you just kind of
have to do it
and then it'll be fine.
it'll be, like,
second nature pretty quickly.
- you want a good chamois
like we have.
well, we have--
Like right now,
you have good padding there.
but if you put two of those,
it would almost be like your,
your seat on your bike.
it's too much.
- I like that seat.
- [laughs]
- mari has told me
that I have to have
an extreme bikini wax.
- not everybody,
just the smart girls.
[laughs]
- just the smart girls.
- this is not something
I wanted to do,
so I decided it would be better
to have--
that people come to me
to do the waxing,
just so I'd feel
a little more comfortable
in my environment.
- [rings doorbell]
hi, how are you?
i think we need to have
a chat about it.
- a chat?
- what you want done,
like, how much
you want taken off--
- I was thinking, like,
a dorothy hamill cut.
[both laugh]
i do not want
the telly savalas,
i'm gonna tell you that
right now.
- okay, okay.
- You really do not want--
- I'm not into that.
i didn't mean that literally.
- do they take everything off?
Yeah.
- I guess it's supposed to
make it more comfortable
on the seat,
um, less friction?
- [humming]
- that feels ever so good.
- Yeah. Okay.
- [laughs]
- yeah.
that smells so wrong.
- it will be so right
afterwards.
[tearing noise]
- [screams and laughs]
[tearing noise]
- ow!
[tearing continues]
- [laughs] look at your face.
- I'd love to get some of
this top layer.
- why are you going over there?
that feels like it's not
in a good area.
- it's tiny.
It is seriously--
- that is the maximum.
I've done now.
That was the maximum.
- okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- take a breath for me.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah--
oh, my god, yes.
oh, my god.
- [laughing]
- alexia, I'm so glad that
you're so entertained by this.
ow! My god.
[laughs]
- I did not prepare you
for that one at all, did i?
this is the last one.
- okay, okay, this feels like
a really bad one.
[tearing noise]
ow! My god.
[laughter]
- elbows.
great.
Three hooks here.
- I started off
wanting to learn kickboxing
for self-defense.
but then I realized
all women should have
at least an idea
of how to defend themselves.
so I invited taylor
to join in with my trainer.
he's a five-time
world champion kickboxer.
- all right, okay, nice.
That's pretty sharp.
- awesome.
- Okay? So that's great.
that's pretty sharp.
- Whoa. Yeah.
that was pretty good,
adrienne.
will you be my bodyguard?
- You were great.
- [laughs]
well, in all the years
I've known adrienne,
she's been involved
in martial arts,
self-defense, kickboxing,
all of these macho things
that she does
for a strong woman,
I love it.
- so why don't we start with
a few strikes?
- okay.
- Okay, take your--
that's your jab.
Great, that's not bad.
- very good.
- good, good.
- All right.
- you thinking about someone
on that, or you're just--
[laughter]
doing your thing?
- I'll never tell.
[laughs]
- one, two, three.
two, three, four.
- that's really good, adrienne.
Your face too.
- do I look angry?
you know,
this would be amazing
for the women at
my crisis center.
- oh, yeah.
i volunteer for
the 1736 family crisis center.
take the thumbs,
over the top--
- come around.
Strike.
- and then out of here.
- And then you're out of there.
- it's a safe haven
for women and children
who have experienced
domestic violence
within their home.
always end on a knee strike.
- always end on a knee strike.
- this has been amazing.
I really appreciate it.
- my pleasure.
- Thank you so much.
- you did great.
- I have a lot to learn,
but I've enjoyed it.
- Thanks, kev.
- thank you.
See you soon.
- for the last three years,
the crisis center has had
a celebrity poker tournament
to raise money,
and this year,
we're fortunate enough
to have annie duke,
who's won the world series
of poker
chairing
our poker tournament.
the poker tournament
for the crisis center's
coming up,
and you should come.
i'd love for you to learn
a little bit more about
the organization.
- I want to, absolutely.
- play a little poker,
it'll be fun.
- yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
i'm not very good, but--
- I'm not either, but
we'll make it fun regardless.
- adjust your mirror,
okay?
and not so
you look at yourself, cedric.
you adjust your mirror
so you can
see what's going on
behind you, okay?
cedric and I need to
get our american
driving license,
which to me
is a scary concept.
well, I am driving with
my english license,
which is perfectly legal,
but however, um,
after a certain amount of time
living here,
you have to have
an american driving license.
ooh, my shirt's undone.
i told you, it's the only way
I've got of passing.
- what if the instructor's
not a boob man?
[laughs]
- it's the only chance I have.
- all right,
let's try to do--
wait, how do you call it--
A 2.3 turn?
no, a 3.2.
- A 3.2 turn.
- was it 4.5?
- Oh, no problem.
okay, ready? Go.
[imitates tire screeching]
[both laugh]
- what is wrong with you?
you just ran over, like,
an old lady.
- turn right here, and then
you want to turn around.
around.
- Here's one. Okay.
- see,
you've got it wrong now.
- oh, stop it.
Here's two.
- you have to do it faster,
though.
I've got two licenses,
okay?
- come on,
this is ridiculous, I--
listen, I'd been driving,
okay, for 25 years.
you're not telling me--
- they didn't have any cars
25 years ago.
- oh, please.
- All right, I should--
i should practice now.
- I think once cedric
gets his license,
and that'll be the final
component in him
getting his life together
so he can move out.
okay, but you're not gonna
go crazy, are you?
- my name is not
lisa vanderpump.
[laughs]
- bye.
- what is wrong with you?
- come on.
come on.
[laughs]
i'm gonna wait for you.
[laughs]
ken has been saying
that cedric has to move out.
and I do agree with him,
it's time,
but who am I gonna play with?
- come on.
- you've gotta get up early
to catch me, cedric.
[laughs]
bye.
- hi.
- How are you?
i'm sorry I'm late.
- Oh, it's okay.
- I'm so stressed out.
- tell me why.
- um, monday I woke up
and my--
the girl who works for me
on mondays
said she couldn't come.
her baby was sick,
whatever.
and then lulu, my live-in,
decided
not to come yesterday.
- right.
- and I'm leaving for napa
on friday
so all of a sudden,
I have no housekeeper.
i went and looked in her room.
Everything's gone.
- that's not a good sign.
- no, kim, and I'm leaving
for napa. What am I gonna do?
- are you taking the kids
with you?
- well, maurice wanted it
to be like a romantic weekend.
and we never do that.
and he gave me this whole talk
about how it's not fair
that we never
do anything alone.
so I said, "okay, fine."
i caved, and I said,
"well, you know,
we'll go alone--
I'll leave the kids."
so now I think
I should bring them...to napa.
- I would take them,
personally.
i think that
they should be there.
- yeah, but look
what that's gotten you.
[laughter]
- what are you saying?
you know, I think
she gets so on me
about spending time
with my kids.
as much as she loves me,
it's, like,
she puts me down...a lot.
[cell phone rings]
- lisa.
hi, lisa.
i'm good.
How are you?
i'm sitting here at lunch
with kim.
- hi, lisa.
- hold on.
- I'm right here.
- it's been over a week
since I set up kim
on a blind date with martin.
this is your date
for tonight.
this is kim.
- Oh, good. Finally.
- hi. How are you.
- Nice to meet you.
how are you?
- Nice to see you.
- I really wanted kim
to phone martin
and to thank him
for driving her home
because it was a long way
from mohamed's house,
and she wasn't capable
of driving.
maybe she'd had
one drink too many.
- don't talk to me
like that.
"you, you, you, you, you."
Bossy, bossy, bossy.
they won't let it down,
kyle and lisa will not.
"oh, and what you did
to martin,
and you never called martin,
and you never thanked martin."
my phone died, and I didn't have
any way to call anybody.
and I apologize.
i will. Okay.
- bye.
- Bye-bye.
- what did you think of martin,
by the way?
- I actually like martin.
- I wouldn't know it.
see, this is why
you don't end up...
- I'm fine with it.
- no, you're not.
you want to go
sit back at home, alone?
- I know, I don't want
the pressure like that.
it makes me feel
uncomfortable.
- jimmy crack corn, kim.
- why do you like
that saying?
- because I don't care what
you're talking about right now.
[laughter]
- I liked martin,
and I think he liked me.
but I kind of feel like
the man should call the woman.
- ugh! Nothing's ever easy.
you--
Thank you. Sorry.
- everybody's making me out
to be this really bad person.
- no, not a bad person,
just rude.
[laughs]
- coming up...
- I'm still horrified at the
things that kyle said to me.
i think she was
out of control.
- men punch each other
in the eye, and it's over.
- it's easier.
- Boom!
- see, now, that looks great.
just like this.
Presentation is everything.
- yes, it is, my dear.
- okay, now, scott,
i'm just gonna need
a little room
on this table.
- hi.
- oh, hey, guys.
- maureen. Hi.
- you look gorgeous.
You look so pretty.
- deidre.
- Thank you.
- who brought champagne?
farchard, of course.
- Farchard!
- I am so lucky to have
a great group of friends
in my life.
they're such a solid
support group for me.
so I have a little bit
of a dilemma.
- what's your dilemma?
- my dilemma is the girls.
- Oh, boy.
- the whole kyle--
- I know, I know.
i can't help it with
bringing the kyle thing back up.
i would like to try to reunite
and try this over again.
i mean, I'm still horrified
at the things
that kyle said to me.
i think she was
out of control.
- you're such a [bleep] liar,
camille.
you know what,
you need to get help.
- I'm just trying
to figure out a way
to maybe...
- build a bridge.
- Build a bridge.
- how are you gonna do that?
why don't you have a dinner
party, or have her over?
i don't know.
Tell her something.
- that's funny.
[laughter]
- what?
- I like to forgive
and forget and move on.
i don't think I've ever
had anybody treat me
as poorly as kyle has.
i just--
I don't know what to do.
that's why I have you over,
to find out what--
i need advice. Help.
- oh, boy.
- I'd say no.
- because I'm trying
to do the right thing.
- I'm sorry, I just wouldn't
allow someone like that
into my life...again.
one time was enough.
i just think that
you're really asking for it.
- if I have a dinner,
will you be there?
maybe I should invite
some of my friends there to...
- what do you think, mom?
- to counterbalance
the energy.
- I don't really know
a lot of the background of it.
you know,
camille's a lovely person.
i think she would most likely
say, "it's fine.
we'll try again
and see what happens."
- I just want to keep the peace
between all the girls,
the rest of the girls,
and I think by doing this,
this might be--i'm trying
to offer the olive branch.
i think it's a good idea
to have the ladies over
for dinner at my house.
maybe I'm making
a big mistake.
i don't know.
We'll see what happens.
- men punch each other
in the eye, and it's over.
- it's easier.
- Boom!
- is it hot in here,
or is it me?
i'm just sitting next to nick.
That's what--
- that must be it.
- Handsome nick.
handsome nick's doing it again.
- Handsome nick.
- I say that
we just start off,
wave good-bye to everybody...
- and then somehow get
to the end.
- and then get lost
in the shuffle.
and at the end,
have someone pick us up.
- and we'll be, like,
all sweaty,
have somebody pour water
on you.
- we'll go, yeah,
to a winery,
have some wine tasting--
The wine tasting.
meet at the end,
and just act like we did it.
- now you're talking.
- so mauricio and I are
heading to napa.
and my friend christine,
who's a nurse,
offered to stay
with the girls.
i don't want to
come back monday.
- we have to.
- Why?
- 'cause there's no flights
out of there late enough.
- that's three nights.
I mean--
just so you know, that affects
my decision with the kids.
because if it's
an extra night,
that's--
I cannot do that.
- I mean,
we have no choice.
- yes, we do.
- how do you want
to get out of there?
- what if we drove?
- oh...
After the bike ride?
you think we're gonna bike
and then drive?
- I'll drive.
I don't care.
- there's no way, honey.
it's an eight-hour drive.
- Honey, I cannot be--
i can't not be here
on a monday morning.
the kids have school
and everything,
and packing the snacks--
I mean, I can't--
- that's a major [indistinct]
issue going on with you.
- it is. It is.
That's the problem.
mauricio is really trying
to squeeze three days
out of this trip.
It's just so hard for me
to leave the kids like that--
I feel guilty.
- so if we took the kids,
then you'd be fine
with three days,
and have them missing school.
- yes.
- [Laughing]
- I would rather be
with my kids
than anybody
or anything in the world.
portia, do you want
to go to napa?
- no?
she doesn't want
to go to napa.
she wants to go to--
- okay, okay, so fine.
- it's gonna be so nice.
It'll be so romantic.
- people say you're supposed
to put your husband first
because your kids grow up
and they leave.
but it's really hard for me.
can we just see about
coming back sunday night?
just do that for me.
- I will--i'll check.
i'll check, but I'm telling you
there's no flights.
- well, we can drive
to san francisco,
and we can fly out of there.
i know there's flights
all day long.
- this is very simple.
so if we feel like leaving
on sunday,
we leave sunday.
we feel like leaving monday,
we leave monday.
- okay, I feel like
leaving sunday.
[indistinct]
- [laughing]
- see my fire?
- um, amelia and I tried
making s'mores last week.
- I heard.
- we could not start the fire
for the life of us.
- we have a lot
of family barbecues.
some nights it's just
my kids and i,
and other nights,
they're, like,
"mom, can I invite so and so,
can I invite so and so?
and can they invite
a couple of their friends?"
oh, julie, hi!
what are you doing?
- How are you?
nice to see you too.
- hi.
- Hi. Mwah.
- the night before, I knew
we were gonna have a barbecue,
and so kimberly and I ran
to the market.
and there was a bunch
of guys,
and they were buying
the chicken,
and I was, like,
"uh, excuse me, guys,
"um, I don't think
you're taking all the chicken
because I'm taking
the chicken."
so as I walked away,
one of them,
he walked up, and he goes,
"hi, I'm single gary."
and I said, "well, hi.
I'm single kim."
- you should think twice
before you give
random strangers
your number.
- the whole thing with martin
was really sweet of lisa.
but she's given me so much grief
over this.
i can find my own dates.
i don't need--I don't need
everybody's help.
[cell phone rings]
oh, my god.
Is this single gary?
[laughs] so that was really fun
meeting you at the market.
sometimes I've met men
in the market.
it happens. Whatever.
so how was your barbecue
last night?
'cause I--
I mean, we were fighting
over the chicken and I did get
most of the chicken.
that's my chicken.
That's my chicken.
you know,
give me the chicken.
okay. Maybe dinner one night
would be nice.
- kimberly was there.
She was embarrassing me.
wait. Hold on.
Say hi to my daughter.
- hello. Well my mom has
a 24-year-old,
and a 22-year-old,
an 18-year-old,
a 16-year-old,
a 14-year-old,
a 12-year-old,
and a 6-year-old,
and a 2-year-old.
big family.
Mm. You'll love all of us.
- kimberly's like me.
She just does stuff like that.
she just thinks it's funny.
- come on over.
- coming up...
- listen, I've got
a very big test in a minute.
i have to study.
- how many fingers
am I holding up?
- not as many as I'll be holding
up in a minute.
- romantic.
- So romantic.
- even though I'm nervous
to leave my kids,
i'm excited to get away
with my husband.
and napa's
absolutely beautiful.
- we have a reservation
tonight.
- thank you so much.
- You ready?
- thank you.
- Awesome. Thank you.
- finally, my husband and I
got to be alone.
we didn't know people there
so felt very romantic.
- voila.
- Thank you.
- the pietro gnocchi
with spring vegetables
might be a good way to go.
uh, we're also kind of known
for the garganelli
with the rabbit sauce,
one of chef chiarello's
signature items.
- ooh. That's the one
I saw that guy eating.
it looked amazing.
- Yes, super yummy.
- amazing.
- Rabbit sauce?
- pretend it's lamb
or pretend it's veal.
- not going to happen.
- it's a little bit of mushroom,
little tomato.
- it looked amazing.
- I'm not doing that.
- that's what we're going
to have.
- I don't want to have
something with a rabbit.
- fine.
- I think a lot of times
he caves in
just because he'd rather have
things, uh, smooth.
and his philosophy is
"happy wife, happy life."
- enjoy the rest
of your bubbles.
i'll check back
in a couple minutes.
and let me know if you have
any other questions on the menu.
- thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- I can't believe we're
actually, finally away--
just you and me.
[cell phone rings]
oh, it's the kids.
Hold on. Hi, honey.
i'm not coming tonight.
I'm coming later.
in a couple days.
I'm with daddy.
- bye.
- I love you, bye.
yeah, honey,
you guys all good?
- I love you, mom.
- I love you, honey. Bye.
- so good.
- Bye, honey.
- bye, mom.
- are we going to go home
sunday night or monday?
- we'll decide at the end.
no decisions today.
- that gives me
a lot of stress.
- a little bit of anxiety.
- like I said, we'll decide
where we, uh, on the last night.
- well, is there not a flight
and you're tricking me?
- there's tons of flights.
- so why'd you tell me
we can't leave sunday night?
- I didn't want to.
- you are a tricker.
- I negotiate for a living.
so certainly I think
that when I make arrangements
with kyle, part of my
negotiating skills
just innately take affect.
- you know, I've been thinking
so much lately
about we go back and forth
about another baby.
i'm not pregnant.
don't worry.
I'm not pregnant.
- better not be dropping
any bombs on me right now.
- no, no, no, no, no, I'm not
pregnant. I'm not pregnant.
but...
- Right.
- I think
I would like to be.
- oh, my god.
you don't think it's too much
for us to handle?
- some months he says
yes, he wants a baby.
some months he says no.
he says it all depends
on what my american express bill
is that month.
if it's high,
he said "forget it.
we're done.
Factory closed."
- as a man,
I have all of the situations,
you know, that I think about,
which is, you know,
economics, you know,
retirement funds,
children's funds,
college funds.
i mean, I do want
to retire one day.
I've already hit my limit.
Four kids seems to be enough.
- well, just so you know
that if I want to,
you won't even know
what happened.
no, if we have another baby now,
I promise it's the last one.
no, because then portia
will have a little playmate.
- no, let me explain
to you something.
i promise it's the last one,
okay?
i chop off the weiner
after this thing.
it's done.
[laughs]
[doorbell rings]
- front door.
Front door?
he's here.
- hi.
- Hey there.
- oh, my gosh.
- How are you?
- wow, hi.
- westlake is small.
and anybody that lives
in this little area
is probably
not a serial killer.
so we hope.
- should've mentioned
everyone was going to be here.
- I should've told you
that it was a family situation.
hi.
- This is reilly.
- nice to meet you.
- Can you say "hi, kim"?
- we have lots of dogs.
- We have three dogs.
- he ended up showing up
with his granddaughter.
this is presley.
this is my baby.
have you met my daughter
presley?
- no.
- She's my daughter, presley.
[cell phone rings]
oh, it's okay.
you know what, her dad calls
all the time.
i can't even stand him.
I hate him.
- your daughter is hungry.
She wants you.
- oh, hang on.
i'm gonna have to go nurse.
poor guy.
here he thought he met a nice,
single mom in the market.
i told him I had, like,
eight kids,
and the youngest one's
eight months,
and I'm still nursing.
- she needs you to feed her.
- can you feed her?
- mom, I missed you.
- you do?
[laughter]
- and I go off in the corner.
and he was, like,
[inhales] "wow."
- what?
- I think I--
That is my sense of humor.
- hey, we're gonna go get
some ice cream.
you're welcome to come.
- all right. Let's all go.
- okay, good.
- I should've told you.
- next time.
- you're a little angel.
Can I have a hug?
a real hug? Aw.
- she never does this.
- Really?
good night.
- Good night. Good night.
- single gary.
- Did we like him? All?
- I liked him.
I loved his granddaughter.
- then why--
- I don't think for your mom.
- why?
Explain. I want to hear.
- you say no?
- I don't know.
- she's just a matchmaker.
- I just hook you guys up.
- I like him.
- I like him too.
- I love that he loves
his granddaughter.
- I love that he was totally
cool coming in here.
- I love--I love him.
No, I'm just joking.
i love him.
- All right.
- can't believe you're taking me
to do the test now.
when did I have time
to prepare for this test?
- oh, excuse me,
we read the book together.
so we showed up
where the dmv was.
it was in some godforsaken
place.
i don't know. I was kind
of fearing for my life.
i thought "okay, we need to get
this over and done with asap."
it's a bit
of a culture shock.
i mean, when you live
in beverly hills,
you tend to kind
of isolate yourself
from the rest of los angeles.
it was pretty kind of, uh,
eclectic, shall we say.
- hi.
you saw me last night?
- Yeah.
you were, uh, talking about...
- something you want
to tell us, lisa?
- come on. You were talking
about, uh...
- really. Honestly.
no, I promise you you've
mistaken me for somebody else.
i sat down
in the waiting room
and there was this--
Some weirdo guy
sitting in front of me.
listen, I've got a very
big test in a minute.
i have to study.
Have to. Okay.
- you're not going to be tested
on what we're talking about.
- no. But I'm not gonna pass
unless I read this bloody book.
- how many fingers
am I holding up?
- not as many as I'll be holding
up in a minute.
i was just, like,
"get me out of here
as soon as possible."
- oh, that's us. Oh oh.
- Oh, okay.
- mandarin.
no, no, english.
[laughter]
- all right.
pens are on the counter.
- This is my test?
- that is your test.
- God, I'm so nervous right now.
- the questions
are bloody difficult,
i have to be honest.
[laughs]
wish me luck.
- good luck.
- it's like,
they give you 40 questions,
and I think you're allowed
to get six wrong.
- all right.
- I'm in? I'm in?
yes!
hey, arrivederci, cedric.
[giggles]
poor cedric, I think
he needs to get a chauffeur.
i don't know.
He didn't look at the book.
he didn't study.
He didn't do anything.
stop.
- so I failed again?
oh, god.
- you did?
Oh, no.
it could be worse.
it could have been me
that failed. Yes!
maybe he failed the test
on purpose.
to delay the moving out process.
i guess I'm driving home,
right?
- yeah.
- so we've been working
like dogs
on these gift bags already.
- oh, my goodness.
Look at all these.
- there's more
in the other office.
we have about 200 done,
and then we'll be making 44 more
for the celebrities.
- okay.
Do you need help?
the 1736 family crisis center
poker tournament is tomorrow.
- so I'll tell you a little bit
about how the day will go then.
- okay.
- And then after you win
the tournament and--
- Yes.
- now, you know, we have
about 44 celebrities coming,
and we have a red carpet
starting at 2:00.
- oh, at 2:00.
- so I really was hoping that
you would walk the red carpet
since you've been such
a long-time volunteer of ours.
- okay.
- Then what I was going
to ask you to do, taylor,
and you can say yes or no,
i really want someone
like you to say a few words.
- I had a difficult
early childhood.
my parents divorced
when I was very young,
and it was hard
on my mom and i.
you know, there were things
that happened
that I don't really talk about.
and...
just some tough memories.
- you know this organization.
you've been with us
a long time.
you have a deep passion for it.
and I really want that
to be stated.
- my earliest childhood memory
literally
in blue-footed zip-up pajamas
was someone waging an attack
on my mother.
and that is why I connect
so heavily
with the work being done
at the crisis center
and especially
with the children there.
- I know I keep saying
you've got passion for it,
but you really do.
you go in there, you know,
you relate to these--
These women and children,
and I just have to tell you
that, when you leave, they cry.
and they cry
because...
- now you're gonna make me cry.
- you come in there,
and you give your heart to them.
and you come in and show it.
- I remember feeling ashamed
about the experience
that I had had,
and I was so young.
when I meet children
that are experiencing that,
i want nothing more
than them to realize
it has nothing to do with them
and everything to do
with the person
who was the abuser.
i guess I'm gonna go
back to my office,
get some work done,
and finalize my speech.
- oh, thank you so much
for everything, taylor.
- oh, honey, I love you.
I love what you do.
- coming up...
- You know,
it's really unfortunate.
we could have had
a much larger turnout
if we picked
a different weekend.
- let's head over
to the women's section.
- awesome.
I'll go browse.
- honey?
- Yeah.
- make sure
you find a good pad.
- yeah, I need
a heavy pad
for my butt.
- yeah.
honey, I want to see
your outfit.
how long did you last
on the bike in vegas?
tell the truth.
The truth.
- 10 minutes maybe.
15 minutes?
- four.
my husband is a major athlete.
he's good at every sport
he does.
so I think
he would really be tortured
if I finished the race
and he couldn't.
- but then again,
i was coming down with a cold,
so I was like--
- no, four minutes
is pretty good.
- [laughs]
- I was not four minutes.
- so let's have some fun.
- why do I have a pit
in my stomach?
- 'cause you're nervous.
You're doing your first ride.
- all of a sudden,
I look back,
and I see this sea of people
on their bicycle.
and they look
like professionals to me.
and it's feeling
very intimidating.
- three...
- two...
Both: one!
- go!
[cheers and applause]
- oh, my god.
i'm going to be run over
and smashed to the ground.
i cannot believe
the people flying by me,
whizzing by me.
i thought I was gonna have
a panic attack.
- perfect.
- They're coming so fast
and cutting at an angle.
- Yeah.
but just pick up the pace
a little bit.
that way, you don't have that
many people swarming around you.
- okay.
oh.
after losing so many
family members to cancer--
i lost my mother,
my father, an uncle--
this charity's really important
to me.
- here we go.
yeah.
okay.
- [Pants]
[both sigh]
- my mom gives me
a lot more motivation
to get out there
because that's a long bike ride.
so if I didn't have that
in the back of my head,
i don't think I could do
the 69 miles.
- good-bye, 30.
Yoo-hoo!
- oh, [bleep].
i don't see any flat ground
in the near future.
oh, god, I need this
to be over.
both: hey!
- hi.
- good to see you.
Thanks for coming today.
- ready to go?
- Yes, I'm ready to go
do our weekly run.
yay.
- This will be good.
- come on.
Let's get psyched up.
a good run.
[laughter]
you haven't done it
on the beach for a long time?
yeah, neither have i.
- okay, let's move
past that one
and let's just get going.
- after you've been married
for a while,
you don't do it anywhere.
Sorry.
it's really important for me,
especially
in the last few months,
to realize how important
women have been in my life.
so psyched.
This is gonna be great fun.
- perfect day.
- It is a perfect day.
there we go.
oh, my god,
the ocean.
- I know. Maybe we'll see
some dolphins today.
now kelsey's doing the show
through february, right?
- yeah.
- You're not gonna spend
the whole time
in new york, right?
- when kelsey first left
to do the play in new york,
the plan was
that the kids and i
were going to move there
in the summertime,
and then I got a phone call
saying that plans
have been changed.
i don't know
if I'm gonna stay full-time
in september.
kelsey and I
are gonna discuss that.
kelsey had called me and said
he might want to live
in new york full-time.
- wow, what are you gonna do
about that?
- I don't know.
my husband feels that
his career in l.a. Is over
and that new york loves him
and he's--
he told me
he feels appreciated there.
i love running on the beach
so I'm looking at the ocean.
- yup.
That's how fortunate we are.
- I am not interested in moving
back to new york full-time.
the winters are tough.
I lived there.
i'm not ready to go back.
- see, you need to come out
more often and run the beach.
see how great it is?
- when I go to new york
for the tonys, kelsey and i
really are gonna have
to have a heart-to-heart
about this new
change of plans.
- the wind is,
like, [indistinct].
- yes.
Feels good.
- [breathing heavily]
- it was probably
40 miles into the race,
and we were
climbing this hill.
this thing was five miles long
or six miles long,
and it was a straight up,
really inclined hill.
- I do not see any flat area.
- they called it, um,
the climb of death,
or something like that.
- at this point,
i'm exhausted.
there's just
no way I can do this.
ugh.
oh, my god.
oh, god,
I need this to be over.
oh, my god.
and I really felt like
maybe my mom and my dad,
their hands were on my back
at that point.
oh.
- you made it.
you made it.
See?
- oh, my god.
that definitely was the
highlight of the ride for me.
when I finally
made it to the top,
it was, like, elation.
- nobody behind us.
it was a great bonding moment.
i loved it.
the experience
of doing that with my wife
was just so great.
and, for me, you know,
being an athlete,
to have a romantic experience
together with an athletic event
was just one of the best
trips of my life.
- riders continue to finish
in the 2010 echelon gran fondo.
- nice job.
- I could not wait
to get off that bike.
- five hours and 15 minutes.
- 69 miles.
- hug.
- oh, my god.
i feel exhausted,
but I feel great.
i feel great.
my legs felt like jell-o.
i was ready at that point
to just call a taxi.
- [exhales]
- ugh.
- this is one of the happiest
moments of my life.
- oh, my god.
when we got back
to our hotel room,
i really thought,
"oh, my god,
I've done some
major damage to my body."
- no--
[laughs]
- I couldn't move.
I couldn't walk.
it was bad.
i can't even take my helmet off.
[laughter]
oh, my god.
i could no way
have gotten on a plane.
even though
we were both exhausted,
it was a really
beautiful weekend.
it was a romantic weekend.
we had time to be alone.
so he was right.
- I can't get up.
honey, take me.
- I'll give you some power.
mwah.
- Thank you.
- russell.
are you ready?
we're gonna be late.
Can we go?
leaving for
the crisis center event,
you know, I was feeling
a lot of emotions
about my impending speech.
- you know,
it's really unfortunate
that you picked this weekend.
uh, probably
half the people I invited
are traveling this weekend.
so we could have had
a much larger turnout,
picked a different weekend.
- well...
i'm really excited
to have some action,
some poker, and some fun
in support of an amazing cause.
- taylor, taylor, taylor.
- hey, annie.
- hi. How are you?
- oh, so good to see you.
- oh, my god.
Taylor, hello.
- it is par for doing
events in l.a.
you run into all kinds of...
Famous people?
- seriously.
Right there. One more time.
hey, that's my wallet.
- oh, hi.
- honey, I am so--
So sorry we're late.
- adrienne and I
are close enough
that I was comfortable
having her there
to, uh, share my story with,
but the other girls, it was much
more of a serious occasion
than just a social event,
so I thought it was best
just to have adrienne alone.
- let's shuffle up and deal.
- I know what I'm doing...
Not!
- yeah, so here...
- I've literally played poker
maybe two or three times
in my life,
because I can't gamble
in our own casino.
- oh, you won again?
- maybe we can find out
what kind of favor you worked.
- remember I told you
how lucky I am all the time?
i swear, this must be
ten hands in a row.
- you--you might win
this whole thing.
oh, my goodness.
Adrienne.
- I was very lucky.
- prior to giving my speech,
i felt incredibly nervous.
i'm gonna go take a deep breath.
- you're gonna give
your little speech right now?
- give my little speech,
take a deep breath,
and I'll see you guys
in a little while.
thank you again, annie.
i was so nervous
i didn't know if I was gonna
be able to go through with it.
- coming up...
- what many of you
may not know...
sorry.
[clears throat]
- you know, it's a story
that I typically only share
with people
at the crisis center
who have been through
some difficult circumstances.
i felt incredibly nervous.
i didn't know if I was gonna be
able to go through with it.
well, thank you so much
for coming.
the 1736 family crisis center
is an organization that is
incredibly dear to my heart
for many reasons.
what many of you may not know
is that I'm a child
of domestic violence.
sorry.
[clears throat]
one of my earliest childhood
experiences was abuse.
and so it means the world to me
that you're here today
to stand up for the people
that can't stand up
for themselves,
and to support
the women and children
who so desperately need
the money that you're donating
to make a fresh start,
and to build a life
like I have built for myself.
[cheers and applause]
- when I first heard
that taylor
had had some abuse
in her childhood,
that actually came to me
as a complete surprise.
maybe she felt, uh,
a little embarrassed by it.
as a friend,
I hope I can be there for her.
- the money
that you are raising today
for this amazing organization,
it gives them a new life.
and to move forward
and to fulfill the dreams
that are inside
each and every one of us.
i want everyone who's
been through that experience
to know that you're
the same as me.
you know,
it's just your circumstances
that are different.
and so by being there
and telling my story,
i hope that it gives hope
that they can put their
circumstances in their past
and have whatever life
they can dream for themselves.
i mean, they can live
in beverly hills just like I do.
- next time on the real
housewives of beverly hills...
- so saturday night
i'm having a dinner at my house.
- I thought, "here we go."
- you're entirely washed up.
- I'm not talking to you.
i'm talking to camille.
- you did call me
a delusional bitch.
- this is all
bull[bleep] to me.
- enough. Enough.
Enough! Enough!
- to learn more
about the housewives,