The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - My Mansion Is Bigger Than Your Mansion - full transcript

Lisa conspires to set Kim on a date, under the watchful eyes on the rest of the ladies.

narrator: previously
on "the real

housewives of beverly hills."

we are just going to
have an arrangement.

kim richards: I would
love that actually.

because I'm tired of trying
to do this by myself.

why don't each of you
pick somebody special?

i'll go to a dinner.

lisa vanderpump: I'm up for it.

i actually have
somebody in mind.

but he's actually,
he's still behind bars.

could I have a chopped salad?



ok.

with mostly turkey and
just add some salami in it.

adrienne maloof: my
patience for paul--

ugh.

just order.

what is it?

oh.

a dog.

he works all the time.

so that's a convenient gift.

get the dog.

and get back to work.

you need to get a
therapist immediately.

you did say it.



kyle richards: you're such
a [beep] liar, camille.

[intense music]

[theme music]

taylor armstrong: it may
look like I have it all.

but I want more.

lisa vanderpump: in beverly
hills, it's who you know.

and I know everyone.

adrienne maloof: money is
what I have, not who I am.

kim richards: I
was a child star.

but now my most important
role is being a mother.

kyle richards: in a
town full of phonies,

i'm not afraid to be me.

camille grammer:
it's time for me

to come out of my
husband's shadow and shine.

[music]

you'll see.

come on.

kyle richards: carina?
- Hey.

kyle richards: hi.

hey, kyle.

how are you?

nice to see you.
- You, too.

mwah.

it's good to see you.

good to see you, too.

this is my sister, kim.

kim richards: hi.

nice to meet you.

kyle richards: so in
the limo in new york,

kim decided that we should
all find dates for her.

so I thought that
we should be giving

her a little makeover before
we went on this man mission.

she doesn't normally like
to do these kinds of things.

that's so exciting.

so she might be a
little intimidated

by what are going to do.
But--

it's going to look good.

very healthy.

kim richards: ok.

and younger looking skin.

kim richards: ok.

kyle richards:
that's what we like.

ok.

get naked.

just--

[laughter]

are you naked?

oh my god.
No.

you're not going to be naked.
- Oh ok.

come on in.

love you.

where were we now?

carina does this
facial that is not

like any other
facial I've ever had.

it's tightening the
muscles in your face.

it's the closest you can get to
a facelift without the surgery.

this does not
feel like a facial.

kim, I'm telling you.

you're going to be gorgeous.

[laughing]

kim richards: oh my god, kyle.

when I turn the electricity
on, you will, uh, feel--

wait.

what do you mean?

carina: a tingling sensation.

what are you talking about?

kyle richards: it's going to
taste weird in your mouth.

like what?

kyle richards: your mouth is
going to taste like metal.

well, what are you doing?

this electric current will
stimulate the face muscles.

kim richards: uh huh.

and also push the product
that's in the cotton

into your dermis.

ok?

[zap]

did you feel it?

no.

i feel these little--

oh.

carina: are you comfortable?

well--

as comfortable as--

whatever you want
to call comfortable.

kyle richards: listen.

we have to suffer for beauty.

you're going to thank
me for this one day.

kim richards: kyle, when she
was younger, was like my baby.

i took care of her.

over the years, she's
become protective over me.

because I'm the single
parent, maybe alone.

and it's become a little bit
of a different relationship.

kyle richards: have you
ever asked a guy on a date?

or do you wait to be asked?
- Oh no.

yeah.

i, I've approached.

kyle richards: you have?

kim richards: I wouldn't
say I'm looking today.

i'm one of those
people that believe

if it's going to happen,
it's going to happen.

i'm not out driving around in
my car looking over the-- oh.

you know, I think I felt
at this point in my life,

i was hoping that there
would be no more worries.

you know?

like, my kids would
be a certain age.

and I wasn't going to have--
Like, my worries would be over.

and now, like, what?

i gotta worry about wrinkles.

i gotta worry about my nose.

my kids.

i want everything
just to be good.

i want to have a person
that I can lay next and go--

kyle richards: she needs
your husband, carina.

carina: yeah.
That's all.

kim richards: he's got
to be somebody fun.

kyle richards: yeah.
Kim richards: somebody's loyal.

kyle richards: well,
this all sounds great.

but it's never who you pick.

[laughing]

kim richards: my kids are
all at a point and an age

now where, if Mr. Right did
come along, I would do it.

you have to admit.

look at this.

yeah.

i know.

it does look good.

it feels like new skin.

move over.

kyle richards: kim
needs to find someone

that can be her best
friend, that they

share the same interests.

like mauricio and me.

if she doesn't find a husband
or a soulmate or someone

to spend the rest
of her life with,

then I am going to be worrying
about her until the day I die.

and I don't want to do that.

magic.

i love it.

[music]

yes this looks yummy.

do you know how martin likes it?

do you remember?

staff: yeah.

lisa vanderpump: okey doke.

pinky?

in here.

hey, you.
- Hey.

how's it going?
- Good.

how are you?

good.

ooh, beautiful day.

you've been smoking.

i just had one in
the car on the way up.

oh, for god's sake.

is there something
wrong with you?

would you want tea or coffee?

- coffee, please.
- Ok.

ken's out there.

oh.

i'll be out in a second.

martin has been a friend of
ken and I's for 22 years.

i would say he's probably
ken's best friend.

ok.

which one do you want?

i know which one
you're going to want.

you're going to want
that, aren't you?

uh, yeah.

probably.

a small piece of it.

for sure.
- Ok.

all right.
So what's going on?

anything good?

yeah.

it's been busy today.

has it?

what?

showing houses?

had a few showings
this morning.

and then I had to go to a
client's office for a meeting.

hi.

stick it there.

oh, really?

had to drop some
paperwork off.

and then I came here.

all right.

i thought, because you know
how successful I've been

in the past when I set you up--

when you've set me up?
[laughter]

lisa vanderpump: yeah.
- Yeah.

it worked out really
well the last time--

ken todd: look, look at him.

he's like--

lisa vanderpump: ok.

martin is kind of going
through, I don't know, hundreds

of women.

dating and playing the game.

but I think he would really
like to meet somebody special.

i want to set you up
with kyle's sister, kim.

kyle's sister?

you like kyle.

kyle's lovely.
I know.

I've never met her
sister, I don't think.

have i?
- No.

she's not like kyle.

she's different.

you know how you love those
kind of tall brunettes?

oh yeah.
Is she like a tall--

lisa vanderpump: she's not it.

[laughter]

she's a shorter blonde.

and you know how you
don't want children?

exactly.

she's got four.

she's got four children?

yes.

has she got any other hobbies?

lisa vanderpump: no.

holy moly.

lisa vanderpump: I think
kim should be dating.

i think it's probably time.

i see that that's
a gap in her life.

should she get married again?

i don't know.

she's tried it three times.

maybe she's not much good at it.

she's really nice.

isn't she?

really nice.

lisa vanderpump: but she's,
she's a little feisty.

a little feisty?

she's short and feisty?

lisa vanderpump: she's
not short and feisty.

she's just shorter than
you normally go for.

she's, um, short and feisty.

oh, pinky.

lisa vanderpump: and
you're desperate now.

aren't you?

[laughter]

you know what I mean?

so I think it should work well.

what do you think?

mohamed's dinner on thursday?

a very dear friend of mine
wants to have a dinner for me.

i think it would be the perfect
setting for kim and martin

to meet.

it's a proper full-on date.

lisa vanderpump:
so you've got two

or three days to go to the gym.

stop smoking.

[laughter]

stop drinking.

apart from that--

just be yourself.

lisa vanderpump:
you're in good shape.

[laughter]

exactly.

martin genis: all right.

we'll give it a try.

why not?

[music]

kennedy armstrong: this
is the wrong doctor.

taylor armstrong:
I don't think so.

this is Dr. Jay's office.

hi.

how are you?

receptionist: hi, kennedy.

we are to see Dr. Jay today.

ok.

taylor armstrong:
kennedy is waking up

in the morning with her
eyes literally sealed shut.

she seems to be
allergic to something.

hi.

hi, kennedy.

good afternoon.

what can I do for you today?

well, kennedy got a
puppy for her birthday.

and since then, her eyes
have been pretty red.

especially I've
noticed in the morning,

they're almost sealed shut.

it's like there's some fluid.

dr. Jay gordon: are they
sealed shut every morning?

pretty much every morning.

dr. Jay gordon: really?

taylor armstrong: and, um--

what's the puppy's
name, kennedy?

snowball.

dr. Jay gordon: oh, look.

it's a great dane.

[laughter]

taylor armstrong: I've
also noticed that she's got

some rashes on her arms here.

and she holds the puppy a lot.

right there.

taylor armstrong: so
i'm just wondering

if there's a correlation or--

yes.

there is.

i just want to look
at your eyes a little.

look up a little higher.

not a big deal.

and not really
that enlightening.

look up high.

let me look at
your nose, please.

also not a big deal.

but--

taylor armstrong: I just don't
know what we're going to do.

because we're very attached.

i think we might also be
very allergic, in addition

to being very attached.

taylor armstrong:
it's not like I'm

am happy that the
doctor said that kennedy

is allergic to the dog.

but it is a little karmic.

because I had told
russell no dog.

you have only one
really good solution.

and that's the dog
can get another home.

taylor armstrong: I'm
at a loss as a mother.

i mean, having to take her
first pet away from her

is a heartbreaking concept.

i blame russell.

i just can't believe
he's done this.

we're all going to take
deep breaths now, kennedy.

this is terrible.

narrator: coming up.

keep your eyes closed.

they're closed.

come on, man.

just, just do it.

just don't knock me
into a door or something.

open your eyes.

[gasp].

[music]

kim richards: could we
get a table for two?

host: ok.

i'll put you over here.

awesome.

are you looking at your ?

no.

i saw you looking
down for a text.

kimberly: I'm not.

ok.

mhm.

nope.

i do not know what to get.

i get so nervous.

i know.

how about when
you eat, when they

give you the wrong food and you
get upset when I send it back?

because it's scary.

kim richards: why?

because I just feel bad.

they, like, made it.

i don't want--

do you think that they want to
eat something you don't enjoy?

they want you to enjoy it.

like, I get what you mean.

but it just scares, I feel bad.

i used to, I think,
when I was younger.

my relationship with kimberly
is a little different.

she'll pull me
aside and just say,

i just need to talk to you,
and tells me how it is.

something's on your mind.

something's on my mind?

mhm.

kim richards: so in
new york, I decided,

since everybody thought I
had such bad choices in men,

pick somebody.

let's see what
you've got in mind.

i was kind of kidding.

but lisa already
found somebody for me.

kimberly: I know it's
hard just because you're,

like, by yourself.

it's hard on us, too.

you know?

to see you go through all
the things you go through.

and like, we can't
do anything about it.

and like, I know that
you want somebody.

kim richards: I think
my kids are kind

of iffy about me dating again.

kimberly: when I was younger,
when you dated people,

i felt like they were trying
to, like, take you away almost.

and so, like, I said,
terrorised them.

you terrorised one.

a couple.

and it was fun.

it was fun to throw the
cheeseburger in randy's face?

that was an accident.

kim richards: that was fun.

it was an accident.

kim richards: my kids
have to like who I'm with.

if one of my kids
didn't like the person,

then that would be a
definite no for me.

it's got to be a
family decision.

where are you at now?

if I ever decide--

kimberly: I think that,
if you dated somebody now,

i'd be fine with it.

just because, like, now I
have, like, my own life.

i want you to have
your own, too.

but I don't want to lose this.
Kimberly: that's selfish of me.

you won't.

we won't.

kim richards: I love you.

kimberly: I love you, too.

kim richards: it is time
for me to start dating.

i'm going for it.

hello?

i'm still here.

hello?

uh huh.

kimberly: no, please.

[music]

figure out.

i need to figure out what colour
I want to wear to the tony's.

this would be fun.

nicole: you might go long?

i don't know.

i'm looking for the
right colour and feel.

i mean, it's work.

yeah.

but it's fun.

fun kind of work.

camille grammer: kelsey got
nominated for a tony award.

and I'm really excited for him.

i, of course, want to look
amazing for the tonys.

because it's my
husband's big night.

and mine, too, as
far as I'm concerned.

all right.

let's see.

ok, great.

marissa borsetto: hey.

oh my god.

so good to see you.

it's been a while.

you look fantastic.

oh my god, thanks.

look at you, too.

the tony awards are in a
couple of weeks in new york.

and I'm excited about it.

but that's what I thought the
last time I went to new york.

you need to get a
therapist immediately.

kyle suggested that
I needed therapy.

well, kyle?

here's my therapy.

nicole: to die for.

absolutely amazing.

i do love this.

it looks incredible.

and then look at the back.

mhm.

look at the back.

you know what?

love, love, love.

walk this way.

let's see when you walk
down the red carpet.

camille grammer: over the years,
I've been to many award shows

with kelsey.

he's been nominated
for 16 emmys.

and he has won five.

i remember one show
that he didn't win.

he was really upset.

it's not fun to be
on the loser cam.

my husband's great at it.

yeah.

he won.

this one is so adorable.

nicole: I love the shoes.

camille grammer: I
think this might be it.

i mean--

turn around.

let me see.

marissa borsetto: it's so--

camille grammer:
look at the back.

nicole: oh so, so, good.

camille grammer: kelsey was fed
up with red carpets and award

shows until this year.

he's excited about the tonys.

nicole: camille?

love.

marissa borsetto: all right.

you ready for this one?

nicole: wow.

whatever.

this is phenomenal.

camille grammer: is that, like--

yeah.

yeah, you should.

camille grammer:
it's fun being a part

of this celebratory event.

i'm so excited to be with him.

you look amazing in this.

i like the whole--

marissa borsetto: amazing.

[music]

paul nassif: oh.

bernie.

bernie: ok?

look at you, my friend.

it's the anniversary.

adrienne and I have been
married for eight years.

i'm going all out
for this anniversary.

i want to make this the best
anniversary that we'll have.

red velvet cake
with cream cheese

frosting and almond roca.

i met paul through
a mutual friend.

i walked up.

and I go, hi.

nice to meet you.

so basically here's
what she did.

hi, nice to meet you.

i don't think
he got over that.

bring the wine in first.

then this.
Bernie: ok.

and I'll bring this out.

and give us what?

about 20 minutes or so in there?

bernie: ok.

paul nassif: years go by.

friends of mine said, you
know, come to this party

in orange county.

she introduced
herself to everybody.

and I said, you were
a real blank to me.

who cares?

paul nassif: and she
sat down next to me.

and within about 10 seconds,
I said this is the young lady

i'm going to marry.

and then the rest is history.
All right.

well, I'm going to go kind
of find out where she is.

bernie: ok.
- And let's get going.

that looks beautiful.

adrienne?

yes?

paul nassif: oh.

happy anniversary, honey.

let's go here first.
Adrienne maloof: wait.

are we going out to dinner?
What are we doing?

no.

i'm having dinner here.

i have some things, I
have some special things

planned for tonight.

so the out to dinner
is not out to dinner.

we're not going out to dinner.

normally to celebrate
an anniversary,

paul kind of thinks about
it maybe the day before.

sometimes the day of.

but at least he thinks about it.

i first have a little
surprise in here.

wow.

[harp music]

adrienne maloof: oh my gosh.

hi.

happy anniversary.

thank you.

paul nassif: I think romance is
very important in a marriage.

this is so unlike you, though.

to go through this much detail.

thank you very much.
I appreciate it--

- but I'm saying--
- I really.

because no.

i think it's lovely.

it's beautiful.

what I'm saying is that you
put a lot of detail in this.

all right.
Now look at me.

first let me tell
you about this wine.

ok.

all right.

this wine is a white
burgundy from france.

this is very hard to get.

and I got a case of this.

and it's very nice.

i think you're going
to really like that.

adrienne maloof:
specifically for me?

paul nassif: well,
do I drink white?

yes.

no.

i don't drink white.
- You do.

yeah, you do.
- I don't drink white.

- yes, you do.
- I drink red.

you drink both.

no.

i don't.

it's starting already.

cheers.

and happy anniversary
to another 75.

75?

yeah.

more.

for some reason, it seems
like it's been 75 years.

there goes those digs.

just kidding.

have a sense of humour.

come on.

bernie: hey, you guys.

happy anniversary.

oh.

hey, bernie.

paul nassif: forget
about your diet tonight.

bernie: yeah.

paul nassif: because
this is like--

bernie: we had the
had that green chiles

flown in from new mexico.

adrienne maloof: that
is beautiful, bernie.

thank you.

paul nassif: as years go by,
our marriage gets easier.

isn't this a nice anniversary?

isn't it starting off--
Isn't this nice and peaceful?

ok.

want to try this?

adrienne maloof: no thanks.

paul nassif: how about
if I just make you one?

please?
Adrienne maloof: no.

paul nassif: no, no.
Please?

one?
Please?

no.

i'm fine.

paul nassif: we're already
used to each other's way

we do things.

the candles.
The flowers.

wow.
This is beautiful.

i picked all those
flowers from the garden.

[laughing]

ok.

maybe not.

can you, like, move in?

my god.

i'm as far in as I can go.

ok.

we kind of learn how not to
push each other's buttons.

it's ok.
I got it.

that's not a
napkin, I don't think.

I've got it.

look at that.

wait a minute.

so how do we do this?

adrienne maloof: that is lovely.

that's grilled halibut.

paul nassif: whoa.

it's not that hot.

oh my, you're so dramatic.

it's extremely
difficult to shop

for a woman who has everything.

i have a surprise for you.

[door bell]

i want you to come right
outside in the hallway here.

one year, he gave me a purse.

it actually looked like
a champagne bottle.

and I don't know
what he was thinking

or who talked him into it.

but plain and simple,
it was hideous.

paul nassif: but you're going
to have to close your eyes.

so here.

seriously?

grab my arm.

close, you have to
completely close.

no.

close them.

cover-- no.
Cover your hands, too.

because I don't trust you.

i'll close my eyes.

cover your hands.

i don't know about this one.

this is like the blind
leading the blind.

keep your eyes closed.

come on, man.

they're closed.

just do it.

just don't knock me
into a door or something.

[music]

narrator: coming up.

hopefully with martin,
though, she'll be

on her best behaviour.
Yeah.

he's a pretty funny guy.

yeah?

can he hold his own?

does he have to hold his own?

that's why he's
meeting kim, isn't it?

he doesn't have to.

[laughter]

[music]

adrienne maloof: ok.
I've got to look at the--

paul nassif: no.

you can't look.

I've got you.

you're fine.
Just keep walking.

- no.
- Keep walking.

i'll tell you when
there's a step.

i don't think it's really
that difficult to shop for me.

he's just got to think.

and open your eyes.

[gasp].

oh my gosh.

hi.

oh my god.

how beautiful.

oh my gosh.

wow.

paul nassif: hi.

i love the dog.

if I could, I would have
a house full of dogs.

paul nassif: this is a female.

that's why.

i give myself kudos for
pulling this one off.

because she was really,
really surprised.

and she loved the gift.

wow.

oh my gosh.

paul nassif: and
she's got good bite.

she's got a good everything.

it's very difficult to find
the right kind of dog for us.

going through the breeding
and the background

of the dog, the training,
and the family tree.

the right dog was in germany.

so we had to ship the dog out.

wow.

this is the best
gift I've ever had.

paul nassif: so--

seriously.

adrienne maloof: it's
actually, this time,

exactly what I wanted.

a dog doesn't talk back.

he's always loyal.

you know, he's your
best friend sometimes.

philippa reaver:
paul worked really,

paul worked very hard on this.

i'll tell you.

do I get a hug?

thank you.

oh my gosh.

wow.

paul nassif: the night came
off exactly as I hoped.

it was flawless.

let's go play with the dogs.

[music]

taylor armstrong: it's nice out.

isn't it?

doesn't it look great out
here with the new accessories?

this couch just--

taylor armstrong: yeah.

it's an outdoor couch.

isn't that cool?

looks pretty nice
to be outdoors.

it's nice.

that's the point.

i'm really struggling with
this whole snowball issue.

you asked me about
getting kennedy a dog.

and I specifically told
you that she wasn't ready.

and now she's
allergic to the dog.

she's really allergic.

well, she does seem
to be getting better.

so--

taylor armstrong:
I blame russell.

seeing my child
getting sick, it was

making me more frustrated
with russell day

by day for purchasing a
dog against my wishes.

russell armstrong: I mean
she doesn't seem to be,

to be getting
congested any longer.

so--

taylor armstrong: these
rashes on her arm,

i'm really concerned that when
she gets older, if she has

these rashes for 13 years, and
if she's got this congestion

happening all the time.

and so, just hear
me out for a second.

and you, you
truly believe this

is all being caused by the dog?

well, I took her
to see Dr. Gordon.

and he said 100%
it's from the dog.

he said we needed to
get rid of the dog.

well, I don't want
to give the dog away.

taylor armstrong: no one
wants to give the dog away.

but at the same time, the
alternative for kennedy

is either medication
for the next 13

years or allergy injections.

and we're not going to give
her shots in order to keep

a puppy for half of her life.

we've got a big
decision to make.

i'm very concerned about having
to get rid of her first family

pet and traumatising her.

but I should never have
been put in this situation.

the last thing I want to do
is take a dog away from her.

i feel horrible for her.

well, I know kennedy is not
going to be happy about this.

i mean I don't want her to
lose anything in her life.

but at the same
time, I'm not going

to let her be sick and have
allergies over an animal.

we have to handle
this very gently.

[music]

anxiety.

i'm going on a date.

[phone rings]

lisa vanderpump:
(on phone) hello?

kim richards: well,
i'm getting ready.

i was thinking, tell me a
little bit about tonight.

what, who is this guy?

lisa vanderpump: (on phone)
um, tonight, I'm setting you

up with a debonair young man.

well, he's not debonair.

but he's the best I could find.

ok?

i don't want you to
get too cocky tonight.

he's fine.

he's age appropriate darling.

ok.

being that I don't
think anybody's

going to knock on my
door today and say,

hey, want to go out tonight?

i don't think I have a
big choice right now.

what is his name again?

lisa vanderpump: (on phone) no.

i'm not telling you his name.

you're not googling him
and doing all that stuff.

oh, come on.

lisa vanderpump: (one
phone) it's a blind date.

you know what that is?

you're going in blind.

going on the blind
date and, first of all,

not knowing who he was
and everybody being there?

it was really, like,
kind of nerve wracking.

lisa vanderpump: (on phone) bye.

you better do me well.

[music]

kyle richards: what's that
you're putting in my hair?

this is really flexible hold.

kyle richards: that's what
I use in sofia's hair.

it's not crunchy hair stuff.

not at all.

mauricio and I have
met martin a few times.

i like martin.

i think he could be
a good match for kim.

i hope she's on
her best behaviour.

this could be really
ugly, or really cute.

no.
It's beautiful.

i'm scared.

taylor armstrong:
oh my goodness.

what do you think I
should wear, big guy?

this is kind of fun.

sparkly.

you like sparkly?

i'm still upset with
russell about the dog.

but I'm going to
put it behind me

today and put on a happy
face and go to the party.

because that's what I do.
No.

no, no, no.
It's not a toy.

not a toy.

this is for peepee.

ok?

[music]

lisa vanderpump:
mohamed is really

well known in
beverly hills and has

absolutely fabulous parties.

so I was thrilled
when he said he

wanted to have a dinner for me.

mohamed's latest house is
four times the size of mine.

in fact, it makes mine
look like a shack.

it's 60,000 square
foot, which is huge.

mohamed?

and I felt pretty amazing.

i was wearing this dress
that I bought in paris.

hey.

lisa.

how are you?

you look amazing.

lisa vanderpump:
there's nothing better

to take the wind
out of your sails

than being greeted
by a 25-year-old, six

foot supermodel as
I kind of waddle

down the hall behind her.

oh, it looks beautiful, mohamed.

ken todd: stunning.

well done, mohamed.

lisa vanderpump: the
gardens are beautiful.

the view.

i mean, it's the perfect
place to have a dinner party.

[music]

hello.

you got here before me.

i did.
I have my glass of champagne.

- are you behaving yourself?
- No.

of course not.
- No.

of course.
What's new?

mohamed.

how have you been, man?
- Good to see you.

you look well, russell.

- you look better.
- Hi.

- thank you.
- You remember taylor?

lovely to see you.

yes, taylor.

my girlfriend.

hi.

pleasure to meet you.

lisa vanderpump: hello.

good to see you.

great to see you.

i wore pink in your honour.

oh thank you.

you know you're not allowed
to, but thank you anyway.

where's your new date?

this is the set up night.

yeah.

exactly.

hopefully with martin,
though, she'll be

on her best behaviour.

yeah.

well, we'll see.

martin's pretty, a
pretty funny guy.

can he hold his own?

does he have to hold his own?

that's why he's meeting kim.

isn't it?

he doesn't have to.

[laughter]
- oh.

so she can hold his own for him.

exactly.

- martin?
- Should I interview him?

yeah.

go see what you think.

martin, no.
- Is that her?

no.

this isn't kim.

[laughter]

taylor.

taylor, nice to meet you.

thank you.

he got all excited
for a moment.

maybe change your name?

[laughter]

this is my husband, russell.

- how do you do, russell?
- Husband.

husband.

i heard, I heard.

well, it's nice to meet you.

best of wishes.

thank you.

better you than me.

how are you?

good to see you.

how are you?
Hi.

how are you?

good to see you.

mohamed's home is one of
those homes that you walk in

and, no matter how
many amazing homes

you've seen in los angeles,
you're kind of blown away.

completely mind blowing.

you don't get used
to seeing that.

kyle richards:
here are the girls.

look how gorgeous you all are.

i love that dress.

that's so pretty.

thank you.

it fits you like a glove.

thank you.

you look gorgeous.

so, yeah.

everything's good?
- Very good.

very good.

you didn't speak to camille?

nope.

nobody has.

nope.

no, I haven't
spoken with her yet.

thank god, camille's not here.

i do not need new york
round two tonight.

so where's the ol'
skin and blister?

the skin and who?

rhyming slang for sister.

[laughter]

- rhyming slang.
- You didn't know that?

you know, she's not--

i don't know.

don't tell me
she's not coming.

she's not.
No.

i'm kidding.
- Oh, stop it.

can you imagine there's
martin hanging over there?

exactly.

kyle richards: lisa and mohamed
have made such an effort

to have this beautiful party.

i really hope kim
gets here soon.

she's always late.

well, he's not
going to like that.

- don't tell martin that.
- Yeah.

exactly.

just tell him we wanted
her to make a grand entrance.

narrator: coming up.

kyle richards: there's kim.

there's kim.

[laughter]

lisa vanderpump:
and her breasts,

they had a life of their own.

[music]

she's always late.

well, he's not
going to like that.

- don't tell martin that.
- Yeah.

exactly.

just tell him we wanted
her to make a grand entrance.

kim richards: I dressed
total kim style.

all kim.

i mean, I went like
off with, like, me.

kyle richards: there's
kim, there's kim.

lisa vanderpump: hello.

hi, darling.

how are you?

mwah.

kim arrived in this kind of
very va-voom, not a dress

i would particularly have
chosen for a first date.

and her breasts, they
had a life of their own.

ooh, look at these puppies.

woo.

he couldn't wait any longer.

yeah.

exactly.

this is your date for tonight.

this is kim.

ah, finally.

[laughter]
- hi.

how are you?
- Nice to meet you.

lisa vanderpump:
she thought it was--

how are you?

nice to see you.

he was adorable.

but I was so nervous.

ok.

whatever they've
been telling you--

lisa vanderpump: it's all true.

kyle richards: I think we
all made kim very nervous.

cheers.
Good health.

you must say hi to everyone.

well, they're not going
to leave us alone now.

are they?

no.

let me go and say hello.

kim richards: I think everybody
was just kind of staring

and kind of waiting to see what
martin and I were going to do

and how were we doing.

and it put a lot
of pressure on me.

i was definitely
nervous and tense.

you know my
brother-in-law, martin.

ken todd: he's always
wanted a family.

[laughter]

[music]

kyle richards: martin,
what happened to your date?

ken todd: she shrank.

kyle richards: kim
disappeared for quite a bit.

and I started thinking, please
tell me she didn't leave.

[music]

next time we go to a party
like this, on a blind date,

i'm going to put her on
a leash with a dog cone

around her neck.

lisa vanderpump: but
where has she gone?

i mean, did she?

she wouldn't do that.

kim, my friend, can be
a little unpredictable.

so I'm thinking, has she gone
in search of a better offer?

she's just gone to the bathroom.

mohamed: we don't know
which bathroom, though.

there are only 17.

normally, they're
gone by the appetiser.

what did you say, martin?

darling.

oh, please.

we are-- we're going
to the guest room.

he said, may I have a
chat with you for a moment?

martin genis: every
time I have a date,

they hear the french
accent and they're off.

kim richards: well,
you know what?

your accent is pretty cute, too.

martin genis: well,
it's not french, though.

is it?
It's only english.

kim richards: it's english.
I like english.

martin genis: and roger, he's
got that suave french thing.

i was walking back.

and he said, may I walk
you back to your seat?

i feel so torn.

[laughter]

he said, welcome, darling.

[laughter]

you need to turn
around and forget it.

but this is not
the right size.

martin genis: he said
it's not the right size.

i say, yeah.
It's too big.

[laughter]

kyle richards: that's very rude.

kim richards: there were
other cute men there.

but I really liked, I
really liked mohamed's--

i mean, not mohamed.

i really liked
martin's personality.

do you like vegetables?

not a lot.

i hate vegetables.

peas are the only
vegetable I eat.

me, too.

we have peas in common.

cedric: they're like two
peas in a pod already.

[laughter]

let me high five myself.

high five, cedric.

kim richards: ok.

i'm going to use the
ladies' room really quick.

and then I'm going to let
you all talk about me--

martin genis: do you
know where it is?

no.
Do you want to take me?

martin genis: yeah.
I'll show you.

because you can get
lost here very easily.

he walked me to
the ladies' room.

he's just very much a gentleman.

let their imaginations run wild.

exactly.

just to the left there.

kim richards: my type
is somebody that's

kind, that's a gentleman.

she seems like
a very nice girl.

lovely.

yes.

i think you look
great together.

i think you'll make
a great couple.

martin genis: here she comes.

did you want another
soda water or something?

i think I'm good right now.

martin genis: more wine?

maybe, I'll have a
tonic water in a moment.

i think there is
potential with martin.

you kind of feeling a vibe?

you like him a little?

kim richards: I do.

i think he's very handsome.

taylor armstrong: all right.

he seems very elegant.

yeah.

so it's a to be continued?

kim richards: yeah.

this could be--

kyle richards: the beginning.

beginning of a
beautiful relationship.

i see spark going on.

yeah.

martin genis: well, thank you
for your blessing, mohamed.

i appreciate it.

[laughter]

cheers, darling.

i think you're very charming.

martin genis: well, thank you.

did pinky do a good job?

yes.

martin genis: finally,
someone's on my team.

thank you.

[music]

mauricio, we need
you for a minute.

i'm busy right now.
Do you mind?

paul nassif: how
come you guys are

very close together in the
lower part of your bodies?

when I see how affectionate
mauricio and kyle are,

i wish that russell and
I were more like that.

i don't know why we
can't be like that.

so the first how many
years were challenging?

i think the first--

first four years?

- even longer.
- It was?

yeah.

because you know,
we're having babies.

and you're pregnant.

and you're tired.

and when we were younger,
if something upset me,

we would be--

now I'm, like, oh please.

who has the time to
fight about that?

[music]

looks like it's working.

kyle richards: my
husband is like, yes.

fine.

i think, I think that they've
got it going on right now.

i saw them taking off--

now you have to
go off with someone.

i saw them going off together.

and they're like, they got
a little mojo going on.

that's so awkward.
Isn't it?

i'm feeling a little--

[laughter]

so this is your
first date together?

it's our first
meeting together.

paul nassif: your meeting.

i like the way you said that.

paul nassif: is it a
date or is it a meeting?

martin genis: it's
not really a--

paul nassif: why don't you
call it a date instead?

i don't want to call
it a date, per se.

that's too much pressure.

this is our first
meeting together.

the first time we've met.

get to know each
other a little bit.

and how's it going?

kim richards: well, I'm not,
like, five 12 and brunette.

five 12.

that would make
you six foot three.

[laughter]
paul nassif: that's six feet.

martin genis: no.

kim richards: I heard he
only likes, like, really

tall, tall brunettes.

yeah.

but you're hot.

who wouldn't want you?

kim richards: oh my god.
I love you.

martin genis: see?

he knows.

he knows how to flatter a woman.

he's very clever.

and it's true.

you two have met tonight.

and you guys have good
chemistry together.

he's the third
person that said that.

i know.

isn't that amazing?

who knows?

kim richards: oh, I
forgot to tell you.

i married my first blind date.

[music]

taylor armstrong: on purpose.

[laughter]

nice to see you two.

thank you very much for having
us to your beautiful home.

thank you very much.

thank you so much.

it was such a beautiful evening.

lisa vanderpump:
thank you, darling.

muah.

thank you.

lisa vanderpump:
evening was beautiful.

just magical.

and I think us
girls needed that.

kim richards: oh, love you.

ken todd: love you, too.

look after my buddy.

don't do anything I wouldn't do.

i would never do
anything you would do.

lisa vanderpump: I think
this has gone quite well.

i can't be sure.

because she was kind of missing
in action for a little while.

but I think she likes him.

i'm hopeful.

and he's driving her home.

so I'm not, I'm not
saying anything.

but I will have a full
report in the morning.

narrator: coming up.

do you feel like
he's your good friend?

i feel like we're
great business partners.

lisa vanderpump: ok.

we're going to see.

oh, wow.

taylor armstrong: I don't know.

but I may need a drink for it.

lisa vanderpump: I
mean, I love a laugh.

so I said, cedric,
why don't you go down

and check out the turkish bath?

it's just very
private down there.

nobody will see you.

have you seen it?

taylor armstrong:
lisa loves to play

practical jokes, especially
with cedric as the butt of them.

lisa vanderpump: cedric--
Taylor armstrong: oh my.

lisa vanderpump: what
are you doing in here?

who does that at a party?

who does that?

that's an exhibitionist.

nice to see you.

anyway, you need to
pull your sock down there.

that's a very large--

wow.

[laughs]

lisa vanderpump: I
was very disappointed

to see that, under
all that dynamite,

there's, like, a two inch fuse.

je ne sais pas.

au revoir.

paul nassif: kim, spank him.

kim richards: what?
I--

paul nassif: spank him.

[laughter]

[music]

hello, darling.

hi.

how are you?

you look gorgeous, as always.

thank you.

you do.

taylor armstrong:
what a pretty top.

of all the ladies, kyle really
has a marriage that I admire.

what's going on with you?

i didn't want a
dog for kennedy yet.

because she's not ready.

and now it turns
out she's allergic.

i said, you know, my friend, she
doesn't have any little kids.

and she doesn't have a husband.

she doesn't have a dog.

she's not going
to care, taylor.

she goes, well, we
can give her daddy.

[laughter]

that's a good idea.

[laughter]

taylor armstrong: you know the
beginning of a relationship

when you feel like, oh you
like vanilla ice cream?

that's my favourite, too.

oh, you like to go to mexico?

that's my favourite place, too.
- Right.

taylor armstrong: and you go
like, we're just meant to be.

and then as your marriage
grows, you start to realise all

the ways that you're different.
- Right.

taylor armstrong:
and all of the things

that you don't provide for
each other that you lack.

but there's also times
when you just want to,

just want to scream.

[music]

we're so disconnected.

and I don't know what to do
to bring it back together.

do you feel like
he's your good friend?

i feel like we're
great business partners.

i don't know how long it
takes before you have a really

good friendship in a marriage.

i mean, when you and mauricio
first got married, you know,

in the first five years,
were you great friends?

yeah.

otherwise, I wouldn't
have married him.

i always feel like he has
my back, no matter what.

i feel like he's my biggest fan.

taylor armstrong:
when I meet a big fan,

i don't really know if it's
ok for me to need that.

of course, you need that.

we all need that.

taylor armstrong: you know
i'm just kind of hoping that,

that we're going to grow.

i keep thinking, well, we're
going to grow into that.

you know, where it just is,
is constant, unconditional

approval.

kyle richards: usually,
you would have that

as a foundation to begin with.

i mean, because there's going
to be so many rough patches

through your life.

you know?

going through different
problems and stuff.

if you don't have that to
begin with, that's hard.

if you don't have that
and you can't change that,

what would you do?

i don't know.

because there's a part of
me that feels like it's even

unfair of me to ask for that.

kyle richards: that's not true.

that's not true.

he's so lucky to have you.

he really is.

and you shouldn't feel that you
don't deserve to ask for that.

we all deserve to have it all.

you know?

you should expect everything.

anybody would be
lucky to have you.

we'll see.

narrator: next time on "the real
housewives of beverly hills."

kyle richards: my husband would
really be tortured if I finish

the race and he couldn't.

lisa vanderpump: cedric
and I need to get

our american driving licences.

oops, my shirt is undone.

what if the instructor
is not a boob man?

lisa vanderpump: it's
the only chance I have.

one, two, three.

wow.

very good.

are you thinking
about someone on that?

i'll never tell.

i'm still horrified at the
things that kyle said to me.

i think she was out of control.

men punch each
other in the eye.

and it's over.

boom.

narrator: to learn more
about the housewives,