The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - It's My Party and I'll Spend if I Want To - full transcript

[music playing]

announcer: previously
on "the real

housewives of beverly hills."

I've been looking for
a bigger home for months,

but right now I'm
really under the gun.

sometimes I think--

[sighs] --I just can't
do this anymore with her.

you have a house.

you have a husband.

you know where
you're going to live.

i don't.



and by the way, I
thank you all the time.

why don't you just
do it on your own?

[slamming]

this is it.

leaving the family
is never easy.

be safe.

she said why would
anybody be interested in you

without kelsey there?

to me, that's such a low blow.

taylor: russell drives the
bus in this relationship.

there's no blurring that issue.

let's get some food.

taylor: when he says
it's time to go,

it's generally time to go.



[theme music]

taylor: it may look like I
have it all, but I want more.

lisa: in beverly hills, it's who
you know, and I know everyone.

adrienne: money is what
I have, not who I am.

kim: I was a child star, but
now my most important role

is being a mother.

kyle: in a town full of phonies,
i'm not afraid to be me.

camille: it's time for me to
come out of my husband's shadow

and shine.

[upbeat electronic music]

taylor: my daughter's
going to be turning four

on her birthday, and
it's always fun for me

to give her birthday parties.

[buzzing]

apparently four
years old is the age

that I think a
little girl should

get her first special
piece of jewellery.

hey, guys.

hi, honey.

hi.

thank you for coming to
the poker tournament.

and I heard you
were a big winner.

had so much fun.

it was a gas.

i had no idea.

yeah, I didn't either.

you know, kennedy's
birthday is coming up.

absolutely.

yeah.

so it's time, I think,
to get her some diamonds

or something special.

yeah, her first
diamond, something

big, and gorgeous, and special.

well, come on.

let's take a look.

taylor: layna and alan friedman
design custom jewellery

for people like queen latifah,
jessica simpson, paris hilton,

you name it.

they've been my jewellers
for over five years.

what would be more appropriate
than the barbie collection?

taylor: oh my gosh.

they didn't have this
when I was a little girl.

i was raised an only
child, and I hadn't been

around young children before.

so motherhood for me has been
such a brand new concept.

i like it all.

i mean, the pieces are
barbie's silhouette.

alan: aren't they pretty?

they're just amazing.

these are going to be timeless.

layna: this is the
18-karat yellow gold

with a little diamond ponytail.

[chimes sparkling]

taylor: oh.

layna: yellow sapphire, which
would look gorgeous on you.

you know, more is better.

that's right.

what is this?

are these just white diamonds
with a rose gold background?

layna: cognac diamonds.

[chimes sparkling]

we designed it with mother
and daughter in mind.

oh, great.

so you can have
matching pieces.

she has a sapphire.

you have a diamond.

she has the diamond.

you have the cognac diamond.

and also excellent gifts for
the little girls at the party.

oh, that's a great idea.

layna: oh, absolutely.

yeah, that would be amazing.

they all need a special gift.

my parents always
gave me amazing birthday

parties growing up, and I
remember every one of them.

but they were nothing like the
one I'm throwing for kennedy.

how many girls?

probably 25.

ok.

all right, so I
think we're good then.

so 25 for the little girls.

[chimes sparkling]

layna: and then the 18
pink sapphire for kennedy.

[chimes sparkling]
taylor: mhm.

layna: and then
the yellow for you.

[chimes sparkling]

russell's going
to be thrilled.

yes, of course he is.

[chimes sparkling]

i'm going to
send him by for you

to inform him of our decision.

absolutely.

every little girl needs
a big, gorgeous diamond

for her fourth birthday.

yeah.

layna: I can't wait
to see her party.

taylor: we're going
to have a good time.

[upbeat music]

lisa: all right.

dinner's in five minutes.

jason: [inaudible]

i'm going to carve this
beautiful filet mignon.

i absolutely love it when
my chickens come home.

when they're at home,
I feel complete.

so tell me about the weekend.
Jason: you want to just drink?

pandora: it was
really fantastic.

i'm helping lily
plan her wedding.

lisa: oh, really?
- It's next august.

lisa: what about planning
somebody else's wedding?

[laughter]

don't worry, love.
Jason: it's coming soon.

it's coming soon.
Don't worry.

lisa: well, it's
not soon enough.

i think you're too
young to get married.

oh, how can you say that?

pandora: how can you say that?

she's four years--

four years older than I
was when we got married.

you were far too
young to get married.

now finally after all
this time you admit it?

yes.

[laughter]

lisa: ok, roast
potatoes, english style.

well, I own two
fabulous restaurants,

but I think my absolute
favourite is my family

at home and cooking for them.

but that job seems to
have dwindled lately.

i hate the fact that I don't
have anybody to cook for now.

now my nest is
empty, and that's--

that's hard.
Cedric: well, you've got me.

i'm in your nest.

jason: you've got cedric.

exactly.

that's my struggle.

[laughter]

i'm a big tick.

lisa: that's a problem.

oh, and if anything,
I bother you too much.

i call you like
five times a day.

you call me three times a day.

i'm very proud of pandora.

she was valedictorian at school,
a double major at pepperdine.

and she's really got
her head screwed on.

i got an email from max.

i'll read it to you in a minute.

ken: was he asking for money?

[laughter]

[inaudible] money.

pandora: pikachu.

[inaudible]

ken: he's pretty
good about money.

we've got to decide
where he's going to school.

my son, max, is 18.

i adopted him when
he was six weeks old.

we already had pandora,
who's biological.

we wanted to adopt
many children,

but then we got busy with work.

and we had two, and we
kind of stopped at that.

he's been planted in a
family of high achievers,

and sometimes he's
struggled with that.

he realises now that being
lazy for a year or two has

had its consequences, you know.

max wasn't doing what he
was supposed to be doing.

i used to drop him off
at school every day,

and I found out that he
was leaving his class

and hanging out with kids
that were smoking pot.

so we decided to send
max to a school in idaho

to stay with his godmother
for his final year.

and when I sent him
away, I'm like a duck.

i'm calm on the top, but I
paddle like mad underneath.

and I kissed him goodbye.

and a week later,
I got shingles.

i Miss max.

when is he coming back?

lisa: he's going to
graduate this summer.

now he wants to go to this,
you know, musicians institute.

on hollywood boulevard.

it's very easy to fall into
the wrong crowd, you know.

but you might have to trust
him that he's capable of making

the right decisions now.

i mean--

lisa: I'm worried.

i'm looking at other
options because i

feel hollywood is very toxic,
but I'm very nervous about it.

[upbeat music]

[children shouting]

hey, bernie.

hey.

are those almost ready?

bernie: about 15 minutes.
Adrienne: ok.

i'm going to play some ball
with the kids, and then--

ok.
Adrienne: --we'll be over.

motherhood has changed
me drastically.

and I went from a very
independent woman--

worked hard, enjoyed
my single life.

the minute I had
children, that changed.

sit down.

i'm going to chase you.

adrienne: my oldest
son's name is gavin.

he's six.

i have twins that are
four, christian and collin.

one-- whoa.

hey, hey.

collin!

i run multi-million
dollar businesses,

but the hardest job in
the world is being a mum.

christian.

i want orange juice.

ok.

collin-- christian-- collin--

i'll give you--

i want chocolate milk.

christian.

ok, I'll get you water.

no.

i do have help.

i have a part-time nanny,
housekeeper, and a chef.

i have a chef
because I can't cook,

and I wouldn't want to
do that to my children.

i love them too
much and my husband.

do you want ketchup?

do you want ketchup with that?

do you want ketchup?

lisa: ok.

christian, behave.

my husband and i,
our parenting skills

are very different.

i'm a little bit easier going.

it's a little
trying when he gets

home from a long day at work.

you know, it's hard
for him to turn it off.

i want chocolate.

christian, stop.

christian: chocolate.

lisa: sometimes with
kids and they're upset,

it gets a little trying for him.

i have a little
bit more patience.

i know which one you want.

[whining]

out.

christian.

collin!

[upbeat music]

ok, great.

we have to go over that
'cause it's a little crazy.

i'm going to hawaii for
spring break with my kids.

and I'm bringing
my daughter, mason.

my son, jude, is coming.

i have two nannies coming.

my house manager,
nicole, will be there.

my girlfriend, deidre,
who's my best friend,

she'll be there visiting.

by the way, tell rafael thank
you for picking the fruit.

i just love when the fruit's
out on the table like this.

nicole: beautiful.

there's a lot of work and
planning that goes into a trip

to hawaii--

ok, um--

--packing, calling
the house manager,

making sure everything
in the house is working.

and that's it.

what time is our flight in?

8:00 am.

that means I have
to get up early.

[laughs]

[inaudible]

the car will come
early enough for us.

ok.

when does deidre arrive?

on the 6th.

so I can go pick her
up at the airport.

ok.

ok, that's great.

wow, there's just so much.

i wish kelsey was here.

you going to do it.

- there's so much to do.
- Don't worry.

i know.
I know.

when kelsey's not around, it's
basically twice as much work.

it falls on my shoulders.

we have a car service for us.

and then we've got
the rental cars

at the house delivered, ready
to go, a mustang and an suv.

ok, great.

in terms of food--

i sent her a list,
but I also want

to go when I get there because
I want to cook up everything.

all of us have things
going on in our lives.

all the women have
very busy lives,

and they're very
important what they do.

but it just seems like I
just have that 30% more.

i was just thinking
about the pool in hawaii.

are we having it heated?

your hot tub will be heated.

yay, great.

we're not going to
heat kelsey's hot tub?

- no.
- No.

ok, because it's just a waste.

thank you so much
for all your help.

nicole: you are
welcome, camille.

thank you.

because I couldn't do
this alone without you.

nicole: it's a trip to hawaii.
You can do it.

i have good help, and that's--

that's so important.

so there you go.

[laughs]

announcer: coming up--

pandora: I have a
huge present for you.

lisa: I'll open it later.

pandora: trust me, you're
going to want this present.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

taylor: these are unbelievable.

dana: I know.

are these made out of flowers?

yeah, everything's
from fresh flowers.

so we're going to do a bunch of
different teapots and tea cups

for you.

taylor: for kennedy's
fourth birthday,

i'm doing a mad
hatter tea theme.

i want the tables
to be jam packed

and for everyone to feel like
this is a super elegant event.

even though it's a kids event,
I want it to be our scale--

lilit: sure.

--and really ladylike
and gorgeous, so.

i'll be inviting about 25
little girls and 35 ladies.

so the little girls' table is--

dana, remind me.

i mean, these tables are long
so I just want to make sure.

i want a lot.

i have a friend dana wilkey,
who does a lot of big events

here in town, things like
the oscars, grammy parties.

so dana's the perfect person
to help me organise this party.

and I think the colour scheme
is going to work really well.

taylor: it's going to be
held at the houdini estate.

it's a very magical place.

we're going to do something
really cool with this.

we're going to make it
look really magical so it's

like floating in the air and
pouring flowers into the teacup

there.

I've invited all my friends.

unfortunately kyle's
not going to be

able to make it because her
daughter's having a birthday

party on the same day.

so it's like we've
got duelling parties.

[upbeat music]

i was thinking princess
party, go classic.

everybody's doing "alice
in wonderland" these days.

at one point, taylor had
suggested that we combine

the parties of our
daughters, but i

am a little bit of a control
freak about what I do.

so I thought it wouldn't
be such a good idea.

as far as the
food goes, you know,

we're going to make it
very friendly for adults.

wait, what about the kids?

[laughs] don't forget about the
kids, the most important part.

ok, for the kids mainly
they'll have the chicken

skewers, the mac and cheese.

right.

we're going to do like
a french fry station--

love that.

french fries and onion
rings made to order.

- love that.
- It's going to be great.

[music playing]

taylor: these are gorgeous.

i know that red velvet, they
can do it in a pink version,

which could be kind of cute.

oh, are you kidding me?

that has to happen.

the food for the party
is going to be standard tea

service, high tea, so
sandwiches, and scones,

and little mini desserts.

mm.

dana: and these
are the chocolates

for the little girls.
Taylor: be sure you leave these.

dana: [laughs]
taylor: mm.

will do.
Taylor: these turned out cute.

dana: this is my favourite.

taylor: this is for the
little girls' table.

and then we'll just do
a blend for the ladies.

even I know kennedy's
going to enjoy it,

she's going to have
a blast, I want

to do something fun
for the grown-ups too

because they deserve it.

they had these children.

it's really good though.

[laughter]

do we want an adult area?

do we want the kid area?

kyle: you know, I like
everybody to be together.

ok.

beverages--

like alcohol?

are we going to do alcohol?

i don't generally like to
have alcohol at kids' parties.

ok.

no drunken mommies and daddies
at my daughter's birthday.

[laughs]

you got it.

and then champagne
glasses because i

want to have like an elegant
toast in the beginning.

yes.

taylor: so that's good, right?

i like the idea of putting
the jumper over here.

ok.

and then what about the ride?

oh, we're doing a
choo-choo train?

we'll do a train
ride back by the slide.

do you think the ride would be
better there and the zoo there?

because the animals
should be in the shade.

i think it's a great idea.

i think kids' parties
in beverly hills

have really gotten
out of control.

i guess it is competitive.

they're definitely not
your typical kids' parties.

typical for beverly hills, yes.

as many of those
as you can get.

ok, that's fine.

and then we need enough
for every four girls

to have their own service piece.

george: ok.

a good-sized party at
a location and a band,

food, it could be-- they
run around maybe $50,000.

would it be possible--

i know we're really
close to the event,

but I'm sort of
envisioning chandeliers.

[music playing]

camille: can't say enough
good things about hawaii.

hawaii smells good.

it feels good.

whoa, this is going to--
This might cut open our feet.

in beverly hills, I'm
just so busy all the time.

i run, like, several
different homes.

you know, I've got
big obligations.

so I need to spend some time
alone relaxing in hawaii.

it's like my spiritual refuge.

[laughs]

i stay north of kona
in a private community

that we have a home in.

the house is lovely.

it's got a giant courtyard.

i have seven bedrooms.

i have a big outdoor
lanai area that

overlooks a pool and a jacuzzi.

we really enjoy ourselves there.

it's a fantastic
place for your family.

dd: how are you doing?

how's it been, like, not
having kelsey around?

the first week it was nice
because I could sleep at night,

and I got some rest.

dd: I know, right?

[laughs]

dd: hence the two bedrooms here.

hence the two bedrooms, yeah.

we have two master suites in
this house, so when he snores

he can go in the next room.
Dd: I know.

it's such a good idea.
I love that.

me too.

no.

it's just been-- it's--
It's hard at times,

but also it's very empowering.

i feel empowered by this.

i mean, this is the first
time I've been away from him

for a really long time.

i mean, it's a long time.
Dd: I know.

it's kind of good.
- And it's going to be longer.

it's going to be several months.

but this is really
good for you though.

it's good for you to have your
own time to make the decisions

and be forced, actually, to
take control of everything.

camille: take charge.

to take charge.

it's been all about
him for a really

long time, which is fine.

there's nothing wrong with that.

but--

camille: when I
first met kelsey,

he just got out of rehab.

and I moved in, and
I basically dedicated

my life to his sobriety.

yeah.

no, it's good for you.

it makes you feel stronger.

no, it has.

because when I was single and
living in new york, you know--

you lived in new york.

i'm going to tell you
something about this girl.

camille was the girl who when
we all were friends in new york,

she was just a go-getter.

you kind of lost that.

i lost my sense of self
because I was taking care

of somebody else for so long.

mhm.

camille: I gave up
a lot of my needs

and what I wanted
to do with life.

i kept him sober
for, what, 12 years?

[upbeat music]

well, it's my birthday.

i don't want to
create a big fuss.

we're just going to
have a nice lunch.

oh.

i love you.

you look beautiful.

oh, thank you, darling.

only 50% of my brood
are here, but it's

going to be nice anyway.

here you go, mother.

lisa: what's this?

oh, sweet.

oh, look.

that's sweet.

cedric: look how young ken was.

[laughter]

pandora: I have a
huge present for you.

lisa: I'll open it later.

pandora: no, trust me.

you're going to
want this present.

ken: oh!

[laughter]

cedric: surprise, surprise.

i love you.

i can't believe that they
brought max in to see me.

it just absolutely made
everything complete.

let me look at you.

hey, cedric.

cedric: yay, max is home.

I've always had a very
special relationship with max.

i love that boy.

oh, look at you,
my beautiful boy.

ok, sit down.

here, sit here.

you look great.

hi, cedric.

you're going to
ruin the makeup.

i don't think mothering has
anything to do with biology.

pandora: doesn't
he look amazing?

he looks great.

sit up straight though.

he knows I love him
no differently than

if he had been born from me.

how long are you here for?

until wednesday.

ken: oh, you know what
we're doing on wednesday?

yeah.

we're going to mi to do a
tour or something like that.

yeah.

ok.

pandora: daddy's-- daddy and
I have been organising this.

when max graduates, he
wants to go to the musicians

institute in hollywood.

ken: he's always
wanted to go there.

he's got an interview.

they're going to show us around
and explain the school to us.

los angeles, musicians,
and all the kind

of problems that that entails
is back into this environment.

we'll go and check
it out with him,

but I'm very nervous about it.

did you bring the guitar
home that you made?

oh, yeah, I did.

lisa: you did?

i really want to see that.

max has only been playing
the guitar a couple of years.

and I'm happy for him because
academics have been a struggle.

he got an a plus for this.

pandora: look at this.

he made it.

oh my god.

ken: you made that?

yeah.

that's incredible, max.

pandora: he made
it from scratch.

ken: you should take that
on wednesday to the music--

you should take it with you.

yeah, you should.

i know.

i mean, that really is.

you can be kind of--

underplay it, but absolutely
yes, amazing achievement.

yes, you do.

come on.

have confidence in yourself.

pandora: it's amazing.

you know what his
first words were?

pandora: I can't.

i can't.

i'm like, yes, you can.

pandora: and he obviously can.

i love you, max.

that's all you have to say.

i love you too.

all right.

ok.

i'm going to cry again.

announcer: coming up--

awesome.

ok.

looking good, baby.

- well, thanks.
- Looking good.

- thank you.
- Thank you.

what a lucky man I am.

[upbeat music]

[laughs]

want some help?

ok.

[laughs] I think I can
handle this on my own.

awesome.

ok.

looking good, baby.

oh, thank you, carl.

amelia looks great.

oh, thanks.

really good.

so do you, d.
- Oh, thanks.

- looking good.
- Thank you.

thank you.

what a lucky man I am.

i'm just going
to have people come

around that just kiss my ass
and tell me how wonderful I am.

please, more, more.
Carl: but you are wonderful.

camille: yeah, just
tell me how great I am.

you're beautiful.
Camille: I'll take it.

keep going.

and you're hot.
Camille: yeah, keep going.

i want more.
- And you're great to be around.

i don't get enough.

i'm alone most of the time.

you're good eye candy.

it's great having great buddies
like you, I'll tell you.

thanks.

there's nothing better.

i think I've helped
everybody out in this hot tub.

you have.

kelsey and I are
very generous people.

my girlfriend dd's husband
was out of work for a while,

so we had moved her and her
family into one of our homes

here in la and gave
her one of our cars.

i have this jesus
complex, I think.

i have this need that
I want to help people.

for me to give back,
that's what feeds my soul.

that's what makes me
feel good as a person.

i mean, I live for that.

that completes me.

it's amazing how you and
kelsey have been just great--

yeah, you guys are generous.

--great buds.

total generous, generosity.

i love that.

that's what makes me feel happy.

i mean, god's blessed
me with so much.

[upbeat music]

i feel hollywood
is very toxic.

and I just want max
to be away from that.

we've lived in the english
countryside and france,

and it was very
different for him.

maybe I've made a mistake
bringing him to los angeles.

what's up?
Nice to meet you.

paul.
- Max.

all right, nice to meet you.

hey, paul.

i'm ken, max's father.

- pleasure.
- Hi.

lisa.

lisa, nice to meet you.

let's just take a
look around, cool?

ok.
All right.

- ok, great.
- Let's go this way.

great.

how big is this
school exactly?

how many students?

we got about 1,200
students currently.

1,200?

basically the building's
open 24 hours a day,

seven days a week.

are you serious?

yeah.

so students will have
access to the rooms

and access to the
equipment and recording

labs outside of class.

that's how you really get good
is by putting in the time.

these are all the drum labs.

students have access to
this stuff around the clock.

[drums playing]

student: 2, 3.

[music playing]

thank you.

[drums playing]

people are here--

the students that
are coming here

are coming from very far away.

yeah.

they're all like-minded.

they all have a
passion for music

and the entertainment
business as a whole.

do they all live
kind of near--

i mean, I know
there's no campus,

so they live in kind
of lodgings around--

yeah.

basically we have a
housing coordinator,

a roommate referral service
to assist in matching

students up with roommates.

do you have, like, a problem
with drugs and everything?

because that's what worries
me, is being in, you know,

hollywood.

no, I understand.

you know, basically we
have a zero tolerance

policy for drugs and alcohol.

the school's got 24/7
security at all entrances.

it's really zero
tolerance for riffraff.

[cymbals crashing]

and remember, this is
just the main building.

i'm only showing you
the main building today.

i got to show you our
concert hall in here.

i refer to it sometimes
as the biggest classroom.

this is unbelievable.

max: wow.

maybe you would let him kind
of play the guitar with you.

sure.

at least paul would have a
rough idea of where you're at.

- all right.
- Ok.

you can have a seat on
the stage right there.

let's hear a little
groove real quick.

max: uh, I don't
really have a lot, so.

keep that up.

just keep holding that down.

[guitar playing]

he's got good time, you know.

he's got good rhythm.

his hands are ready.

you know, basically he's got the
motor skills to get accepted.

this place is going
to challenge you.

right, yeah.

paul: you know, if
you're up for that

and you're ready to do the work
that you're supposed to do,

he can really, really
develop himself

into a consummate
professional here.

but you got to do your part.

max: yeah.

lisa: the school was incredible.

it's much more impressive
than I thought.

max's choice to play the
guitar, it's worrying.

but I fulfilled my passion as
a young teenager as an actress,

and I went to drama school.

if I see he's really
committed, then i

will absolutely support him.

so max, you're going to Miss me.

not at all.

yes, you are.

you pretend you don't Miss me.

i know you Miss me madly.

i have to give him his chance
in life and follow his dreams.

i love you.

love you too.

so I'm there.

he might slip off again, but
i'm there to put him back on.

i'm glad you came home.

and it was very nice
of you to surprise me.

i know.

[upbeat music]

oh my gosh, it's
so cold out here.

i want to get in and
light the fire too.

oh, I forgot firewood.

no, you didn't.

she forgot firewood.

it took me some time, a
little stress involved,

but I finally found the house.

and I love it.

really?

oh my gosh.

this whole space, empty.

i know my sister got a
little frustrated with me

at times during my house search.

first, you told me that
you want to be closer to me

and all of us.
- I do.

and then you're
telling me that it's

too far from kimberly's school.

i cannot keep looking like this.

even though kyle
doubts me at times,

i am really capable of
making my own decisions

for myself and my children.

it's still saying off,
and it's not being warm.

oh, I know why.

i didn't set a temperature.

where's my glasses?

i didn't turn the
temperature to any specific--

yeah, you did.

i did?

what'd I turn it to?

oh, here.

brooke: because--

kim: no.

where does it say temperature?

kimberly: there.

let me do it.

it says it at the top.

kim: oh, right.

how do you go up with it?

see?

yeah, but it still says off.

[laughs]

yeah, that's going to reset.

ok.

and now we're going to go to--

kim: enter maybe.

can you call
like 411 for this?

[upbeat music]

portia, let me see.

are you the birthday girl?

let me see your hat.

you want to put it on?

i'm going to make the baby
a sandwich really quick.

portia?

i torture myself
with these things.

i always say I'm
not going to stress.

it's just a kids' party.

relax.

but I will lose sleep over this.

[phone ringing]

i need help.

[music playing]

kim (on phone): hello?

kim?

can you hear me?

it's going fine,
but is there any way

you can get here earlier?

you're moving in today?

i need an extra pair of hands.

i can't do this all by myself.

portia: [whimpers]

you're talking too
fast and too loud.

how am I supposed
to understand you?

you sound like-- [gibberish]
that's what you sound like.

[doorbell rings]

i got to go.
I got to go.

love you.
Bye.

hi.

my name is benjamin.

i'm with zebra entertainment.

I've got a tiny tot
train to deliver.

that's us.
Perfect.

- all right.
- Yay.

[music playing]

see my little
girls here somewhere.

it's looking beautiful.

my vision is becoming a reality.

i'm so happy.

dwight is someone that I
can't imagine living without.

and he's always there for me.

it's funny about taylor.

she can do no wrong in my eyes.

but she is such a
good hands-on mother.

[gasps] look at these.

i love them.

thank you so much.

you're welcome.

look at this one.

[gasps] oh my gosh.

those really are unbelievable.

thank you.

[inaudible]

they're so great.

i don't even--

i can't figure it out.

they're an optical illusion.

[chimes sparkling]

i'm excited for kennedy to
see how beautiful the setup is

and for all of
her little friends

to arrive, and to
get to have some fun

and celebrate
kennedy turning four.

hi, baby.

come here.

look at your party.

hi.

do you love your birthday?

look at all of this for you.

can you believe it?

yeah, do you love it?

she was definitely a
little overwhelmed.

come and look at all
your flower arrangements

and all this pretty stuff
that they made for you.

you do?

ok.

will you take some
pictures with mommy first?

it's just grey.

look, you know grey.

remember grey?

i wanted the photographer to
be there so that I could get

some pictures with my daughter.

will you take one picture?

will you stay right here?

please?

no.

ok, ok.

in a little while.

ok.

you want to go with nana?

best laid plans when you're
dealing with small children.

you look beautiful.

of course, still
took the opportunity

to get some pictures taken.

[upbeat music]

[laughs]

grey: oh my god.

i love it.

[laughs]

love it.

taylor: [laughs]

grey: oh my god.

[creaking]

announcer: coming up--

happy birthday
to kennedy, if we

can ever find the kids again.

[laughter]

i actually thought,
whatever happened

to pin the tail on the donkey?

yay!

[clapping]

[music playing]

i love exercising, but I like
to do things that are outdoors.

here we go.

[upbeat music]

paddleboarding is freeing.

it's like therapy.

you go out there on the ocean,
you forget everything else,

and you're just in the moment.

and you're doing an
activity that's empowering.

[music playing]

it's a full body workout--
Core, shoulders, back.

dd: whoo!

i feel like a hamburger.

you should eat a hamburger.

a big, big hamburger.

that was a major workout.

[upbeat music]

mauricio: what animals
do we have in here?

man: we have an alpaca.

what's an alpaca?

man: it's like a--

[inaudible]

man: --like a llama.

huh?

oh.

[laughs] that thing
is awesome, dude.

and these donkeys.

are they going to
[bleep] all over my yard?

hey, look.

i love kids' birthday parties.

it's one of my favourite things.

it gives me a chance to
be a kid again myself

and see all my friends, that our
lives are now so hectic that we

don't get to spend
that much time together

because of all of our kids.

my sister, kim, of
course, will be here.

lisa's coming.

taylor can't make it because
she had her daughter's

birthday the same day.

and adrienne will be
going to that party.

oh, I know.

mwah, mwah.

maybe a little bit less in the
glasses for the little ones.

they're like-- [laughs]
can you guys take,

like, all the moms some liquor?

- honey, how are you?
- Hey.

good, how are you?
- Good to see you.

you look beautiful.
Good.

thank you.

lisa's going to stop
by for a little time.

she also has kyle's daughter's
birthday party to attend,

so I understand that she's
going to try to make the round.

oh, this is cute.

thank you.

so where's your daughter?

i was blown away.

it was over the
top and decadent.

[music playing]

did I do that for my children?

no.

they were brought up in
the english countryside.

i think they had a
spotted dog show up once.

i think that was the
highlight of their parties.

i actually thought,
whatever happened

to pin the tail on the donkey?

taylor: can you say hi to lisa?
- Oh, hello.

what's the matter?
- Oh, she's mad.

[laughs]

what's she mad at?

well, you are at the mad
hatter's tea party, I suppose.

what's the matter?

it's not a good day?

taylor: doesn't lisa talk funny?

no.

taylor talks funny.

talk english, right?

for me, I get more
reward out of doing

something lavish for my
daughter than for myself.

you know, I'm sure
lisa would go buy

20 pairs of shoes for herself.

i'd rather throw a huge
party for my daughter.

that's just how I am.

they just never cooperate,
do they, the little ones?

no.

never [inaudible].

kim: kennedy!

taylor: ok, come on.

oh, hi.

you're gorgeous.

gosh, you look gorgeous.

you're beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful.

taylor is used to entertaining,
so she's a really--

she's a fabulous hostess.

of course, sometimes I think
the parties for the kids

are geared more for the adults.

i'm trying the
queen of hearts.

can you put some
more champagne in it?

hey there.

you're throwing
a good party today.

- yeah.
- This is nice.

thank you.

business must be good.

i had very little to
do with this, by the way.

that's fantastic.

you know, russell and
I have never really

connected on a personal level.

you know, we're at a lot
of social events together,

and we talk mostly
about business.

he's definitely a tough
one to get to know.

i'm just writing the check.

[laughs] that's all right.

the most important guy here.

looks like it's going
to be a big one too.

absolutely, very
large, very large.

i'm starving.

can we eat, babe.

just eat, russell.

stop asking [inaudible].

i'll do it myself.

honey, whatever you want.

tell people to sit.

honey, yes.

are you hungry?

yeah, you know.

ok.

it's time to--

taylor: whenever they're
ready to eat, eat.

time to eat.

russell spent more
time at the party

than I actually had
expected him to.

how are you doing, man?

taylor: russell's
such a guy's guy.

hanging out with a bunch
of women at a tea party

is the last thing that
he would want to do.

kim: we're going
to have a toast.

so I'd like to say
thank you to all of you

for coming to celebrate the
day that my daughter was born

and how much it means to me
that she's a part of my life,

and also to celebrate the
friendship that we all have

and the children that you
each have individually.

so thank you so much for coming.

happy birthday to kennedy, if
we can ever find the kids again.

[laughter]

woman: here's to-- here's to
the mommy that gave birth so

that we could have this party.

and congratulations to all
of you for being parents.

it's the hardest
job in the world.

here's to a small party.

woman: oh, yeah, right?

my philosophy on
doing elaborate parties

for my children is I
think to do it every year

is absolutely foolish.

[music playing]

- you're going to leave me?
- Yes.

now I'm scared that
you're leaving me.

she asked us to be early,
and we're running behind.

kyle: I had asked kim to come
help me with portia's party,

and she came late.

hey, guys.

[inaudible]

hi.

sorry I'm late.

oh well.

[laughs]

all right, ready?

1, 2, 3.

mwah.

kyle is an amazing mum.

she's just got maternal
instincts from birth.

portia, portia,
portia, portia.

almost.
Come here.

there it is.

got it.

thank you.

we're a really tight family.

and 3.

kyle: portia!

choo-choo.

your grandma's here.

estella: how are you, sweetie?

when I went to
portia's birthday,

i felt more like
I was going home.

[laughs]

lisa: hey, darling.

hi, lisa.

come on in.

we're going to do this again.

do it right.

we're going to do it right.

the good witch
and the bad witch.

[laughter]

this is not right.

oh, that's so sweet.

hi.

how are you?

how could you
be the bad witch?

it should be [inaudible].

how are you?

i think kim is the bad witch.

i'm the bad witch?

i'm the good witch--

whatever, some kind of a witch.

[kids shouting]

kid: hey, bunny, bunny.

i don't ask kim
for help that often.

and I understand she was
moving, but I wish she could

have been there to help me.
Lisa: is she--

kim: I'm never late.

is she always late?

we had lunch at my house,
an hour and a half late.

i usually am very prompt.

we discussed it a while ago,
and I explained to her that we

were moving into the new house.

kyle: what time did
you get here today?

i was a little--

you're like in your own--

yes.

you're like in
your own time zone.

i'm moving today.

thank you.

i'm moving.

lisa: what kind of
an excuse is that?

blah, blah, blah, blah.

what does this mean,
blah, blah, blah, blah?

sisters have disagreements.

i don't think they
fight as much as we

have disagreements at times.

whoo!

[inaudible] hold them?

here, you want to go
do your birthday cake?

let's sing happy to you.

even though portia
is only two and won't

really remember this birthday
party, you know, we all will.

and this was a family event.

we're all celebrating
her birthday.

mauricio: [singing in spanish]

kyle: I asked mauricio to please
sing happy birthday in spanish.

he grew up in mexico,
and they always

sing happy birthday in spanish.

and tradition is
very important to me.

[singing in spanish]

yay!

make a wish.

blow.

1, 2, 3.

make a wish.

blow, blow.

yay!

yay.

give her a little bite.

kyle: yay.

honey, give her a little
frosting with your fingers.

you want a little frosting?

yay.

yum.

[laughter]

you're not just a
little bit jealous

to do it all over again?

i feel very, very
similar to kyle.

the passion she has
for her children,

i was exactly the same.

and I Miss it.

kyle: how about this?

oh, frosting in the hair.

let's balance,
like half and half.

singer: kennedy, we
have a song for you

that we wrote for your birthday.

[music playing]

woman: oh, you're so pretty.

peekaboo.

this song's for you, baby.

singer: (singing) kennedy.

look, they're
singing to you, baby.

i think kennedy was a
little overwhelmed when

the band played her theme song.

i think she was a
little embarrassed

to have all eyes on her.

(singing) beautiful
just like your mum.

russell: yay.

i think when she
gets older, it'll

be really fun that she had
her own little signature song.

singer: (singing) kennedy.

announcer: coming up--

what is it?

[gasps]

oh my gosh.

russell.

[upbeat music]

russell: grab a seat.

taylor: ok.

let's all grab a
seat apparently.

russell: I'll get the present.

ok.

he's going to bring
your-- oh, wait.

russell?

russell, wait one minute.

i have other-- another
gift for her first.

when I was young, my grandmother
gave me a diamond ring.

ready?

let's open it.

it's something I've
remembered my entire life,

and it's something I
wanted to do for kennedy.

[gasps]

barbie necklace.

woman: why doesn't she wear it?

taylor: she's going to.

here.

that's so pretty, isn't it?

look.

russell: ok.

these are adjustable.

baby, come get your gift.

and then right in the
middle of it all, here

comes russell with his gift.

russell: what is that, baby?

taylor: the box looked
so big and heavy,

i thought it was a dollhouse.

but I didn't know
because russell

didn't tell me about it.

what is it?

[gasps]

oh my gosh.

russell.

[clapping]

when I saw the
puppy, I was stunned.

we had talked about this,
and we had agreed no dog.

russell: I told taylor.

i said, I'm going to get kennedy
a puppy for her birthday.

and she said, no, you're not.

no way.

i said, yes, I am.

[laughter]

oh, a dog.

but he works all the time,
so it's a convenient gift.

give the dog and
go back to work.

woman: exactly.

taylor and I have known
each other for so very long.

and I know what upsets taylor
and what doesn't upset taylor.

russell's russell.

he wanted a dog.

and, you know, he just
did what he wanted to do.

should I clean up now or--

yeah, [inaudible].

right.

no, you go get your dog.

the whole dog thing
at the birthday party

was such a shock to me.

i didn't even really
have time to react

to that versus the necklace.

i wanted it to be
a big deal for her

to get this piece of jewellery,
and it was definitely

overshadowed by the dog.

did you have a good time, honey?

yeah.

and I loved the puppy.

announcer: next time
on "the real housewives

of beverly hills--"

camille: I have a trip
planned for all the ladies

to go to new york for
kelsey's big opening

of "la cage aux folles."

kyle: this weekend
will be the first time

i have seen camille since we
had a little incident in vegas.

camille: she said, why would
anybody be interested in you?

kelsey's not there.

you said it to me.

i would never say
something like that.

i don't know why you
just can't cop to it.

you're such a
[bleep] liar, camille.

announcer: to learn more
about the housewives,

[clanking and pounding]

[music playing]