The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Plenty of Baggage - full transcript

- previously on the real
housewives of beverly hills...

- so what's the latest
with your little company?

- I would love it if you
wouldn't call my company little.

- I would say our marriage

is about 80% business
and 20% romance.

- why don't I start
grabbing some shirts

out of the closet for you?

- all right, sure.
Thanks.

- I'm used to kelsey
going away for two weeks.

not a whole year.

- bye, babe!



- bye.

- I just don't like the fact

that you don't support me
in certain things.

- oh, my god. You just want
your kids with you

because you don't want
to be by yourself.

- that's not true.

- it may look
like I have it all,

but I want more.

- in beverly hills,
it's who you know,

and I know everyone.

- money is what I have,
not who I am.

- I was a child star,

but now my most important role

is being a mother.



- in a town full of phonies,

i'm not afraid to be me.

- it's time for me to come out
of my husband's shadow

and shine.

- are you ready?

- I don't know.
It's been a while.

- how long has it been?

- since kelsey left.

i hit a little, but I didn't
play a game or anything.

when kelsey's away,
I tend to hang out

with guy friends who are
very athletic, you know.

- so we'll just go
nice and easy.

- I'm gonna go--yeah.
- Nice and easy.

- and then move up to the...

i play tennis with nick,

and he's one of my dearest,
closest friends.

should we stretch out
or anything?

- are you gonna stretch?

- yeah, just a little.

- stretch those glutes.

- I know.

- should I stretch?

- you made a promise

you're gonna play naked
with your jock strap.

nick and I are a bit flirty,

but it's just
a friendly flirtation.

nothing nefarious.

- do we need
to open up more balls,

or do you think
we got enough balls?

- what?
- We got enough balls, or...

- um...
- We'll see how we go so far.

- okay. You've got places
to store all those balls, nick?

- I got plenty of space.

- kelsey's fine with me
hanging out with handsome nick

while he's away.

it's one of his best friends.

- ready?
- Okay, go ahead.

sorry about that.

- go back.
Here we go.

- whoo.
[laughs]

- go. Run.

- I'm a bit of a tom boy.
I like sports.

shoot.
Oh, my god.

keep 'em coming.

i feel comfortable
hanging out with men

that either I work out with,
or train with,

or do, you know,
paddle board

and do sports with.

all kinds of sports
with--no!

ooh, I'm not gonna
get back in time.

- that's all right.

- that just sounds so bad,

the whole guy thing.

i need a sec.

i don't know if
it's your sheer hotness, or...

- or you're just
out of breath?

- I'm really working up a sweat.

- or you're just panting?

is that it?
You want to hit a couple serves?

- just show me the form,

and then we'll wrap it up.

- okay, ready?

- perfect.

- just like that.
One more.

- that was perfect, nick.

gorgeous.

he's hot. Nick is hot.
He's a stud.

thanks.

you know,
if kelsey was here,

it would be
kelsey and I doing it,

but nick has kind of taken on
that role in my life.

it was fun.
Ah, I'm so tired. Ah.

[phone rings]

- hey, paul.

paul.

paul!

- yeah?

- come into the library.

- ugh.

yes, my darling.

- guess what?

jay-z's gonna be at the palms,

and I want to go
and I want to take the girls.

- with the girls.

- yeah, I want
to take 'em to vegas.

what about the guys?

you guys already
had your time in sacramento.

you know, let the guys come
and have a little fun.

- I don't know.

- I mean, I think it'll be nice.
I mean, I love jay-z.

- paul just went with me
to vegas, so, you know,

i'd planned
to make it a girls' trip.

- we can listen
to a little bit of music.

i think that'd be great.
- Yeah.

he was so persistent,

i guess the guys are coming.

- so he's playing
at the pearl?

- I'm sure
it's already sold out,

but I have
some connections there.

- you're the right person
to get good seats.

- i, along with my family, own
the palms casino in las vegas,

so when we go I'm able
to pull a few strings

and get a little
special treatment.

do you want
to call the guys?

and I'll call the girls.

- yeah, it'd be nice,
all of us getting together.

i think that'd be fun.

all right.
You need me for anything else?

- um, not at this point.

- all right. I'll see you
in a couple hours?

- all right.

[shoes squeaking]

wow, those shoes
make a lot of noise.

[squeaking continues]

[phone rings]

- hey.
- Hi.

- oh, adrienne,
so good to hear from you.

how are you?

- oh, my gosh, I Miss you.

- ugh.
I Miss you too.

- I have an idea.

i'm thinking about, like,
inviting all the girls to vegas.

- oh, I love it.
That's a great idea.

- I know kelsey's gone.

- camille and I have been
friends for a while.

she used to live
in our neighborhood.

and I kind of wanted
to incorporate her

with the rest of my friends,

because I felt like
she was a little lonely.

i thought you might enjoy,
you know,

getting away for a weekend
with the girls,

and the husbands
are gonna come too.

- and spend that time
with you and paul?

oh, god,
you guys are a riot.

i'd love it.

you know, kelsey's away
doing his own thing in new york,

and I thought, "why not?

why not do something for me?"

you know, I'm always doing
everything for everybody else.

i can't wait to see you.

this is gonna be great.
Thank you so much.

- all right.
- Okay, sweetie.

- take care.
- Talk to you soon.

bye-bye.
- Bye.

- hey, gabe.

- hey, lisa.
How are you?

- good.
Ooh, that looks good.

what is it?

- uh,
that's a little risotto.

- oh, yummy.
Hey, francis.

- what's up, lisa?

- everything good?

- everything's fantastic.

- ken and I
have two restaurants.

we have sur
in west hollywood,

and we have villa blanca,
which is in beverly hills.

okay,
so what have you got today?

- figs wrapped
with prosciutto.

- okay, good.
- With pesto sauce.

- 'cause, you know,
we've got to be, really, like,

easy on the carbs for
these girls. Yeah, yeah.

i try to spend quite a lot
of time at villa blanca.

it's my baby,
so I have to nurture it.

i have to feed it
every four hours.

i do have to go in
and really work it.

lobster tacos?

- lobster empanadas.

- oh, okay,
that'd be good.

- wontons...
- All right.

okay,
so plate it beautifully.

- okay.
- Put the orchids on.

- orchids.
- Let us sit down,

have a drink,
and then bring it out.

and come out and say hi.

don't send somebody out.
Come out and say hi.

- all righty.
- All right, darling.

- have a nice afternoon, lisa.
- Okay, bye.

is that
the dom perignon rose?

- yeah.
- Love it.

cedric.
- Yeah?

- can you make sure there's
some white wine on the table?

- which wine?
- Villa blanca.

sauvignon blanc.
- Okay.

- and put some ice
in the ice buckets. Hello.

so, um,
you haven't met russell?

- that's taylor's husband,
yeah?

- yeah.
I haven't met him either,

so I don't know
what he's gonna be like.

i wanted to get
the group together

before we went away
to vegas.

cheers.

mm.

i'm looking forward to going.

- hello, hello, hello.

- hello, darling.
Oh, you look gorgeous.

just lovely.
I love that.

how are you?

mwah.

cheers, darling.

so what are we gonna do
in vegas?

- I want to go to the concert.
Jay-z.

- gambling?

- yeah,
we're gonna do gambling.

- well, I've been
to vegas 100 times,

but when you go
with Miss maloof,

it's a different experience.

she owns her own hotel.

i mean, she really
owns the town.

i mean, she actually does
own the town.

- hey.
- Hi.

it's a good-looking crowd.
How are you?

this is russell.

- you must be russell.

- russell, yes.
Nice to meet you.

- hello, hi.
Lisa. Hi. Hi.

- lisa, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.

all I've heard from taylor

is that russell
is this big, sexy,

texas cowboy,
and then in walks russell.

- you look great,
as usual.

- thank you so much
for having us.

gorgeous restaurant.

- lovely.

- mwah. Mwah.

- thank you so much.

- beautiful, beautiful.

- got to love
the air kisses.

- I know.
Both: mwah. Mwah.

- I love beverly hills,

but there's certainly a lot

of superficial
kind of attitudes here.

- mwah.
- You look lovely.

- mwah.

- just, like,
a lot of air kissing.

- mwah. Mwah.

- it's very different
to where I come from,

but I wouldn't live
anywhere else.

- look who's here.
- Hey, kim.

- nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you.

- hey. Love you.

hi.
- Shall we go sit down?

- yeah,
let's go sit down.

- is there enough room
for us guys?

- yeah, just.
A little space on the...

can you believe
I just went to the bathroom

and somebody again has stolen
a mirror off the wall?

- oh, come on.
- How did that happen?

- is it one of you guys?
Give it back.

[laughter]
- sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- that's why I brought
this big purse.

- hi, how are you?

so good to see you.
Nice to see you.

- so this is
smoked salmon sashimi

with a little
vegetable caviar.

- mm.

- and then cedric
is holding ahi tuna sashimi

with crispy onions
and ponzu sauce.

- mm-hmm.
- Wow.

- and I'll set that down
on this side of the table.

- good spot.

- I'm gonna dig in.

- well, here's dinner.
- I know.

- for vegas.
That's it.

- lisa and ken,
this food is so good.

kim has a date tonight.

- oh!

- what is his name?

- okay,
how did you meet him?

- is he cute?

- and where are you
meeting him tonight?

'cause we're all coming.

- have him come meet you here

and we'll all check him out.

- that would be funny.

- yeah, meet all my friends.

- I think he needs
our stamp of approval.

- absolutely.

- yeah, see if he can
pass the test.

- how about
I meet him first...

[laughter]

and then I'll invite you guys.

- we'll decide whether
you like him or not.

no offense,
but your past choices, mm....

- I been married
three times.

well, I been married twice,
actually.

my first husband,
we were just too young.

my second husband
was a great guy,

and then one day
just flipped.

- I think you're better off
letting me choose your husband.

or whoever.

- I've been really happy
by myself.

- you know, my son's had the
stomach flu the past two days,

and it's always better
when your husband's around

to help you out with that.

- those are the little things,
honestly, I think...

- that you miss.

- but then kelsey takes off
and does a play for a year,

and I'm with the kids, so...

- right.

- I mean, I do have help.
Thank god.

- camille was saying
how hard it's gonna be

for her being a single mom
with kelsey gone,

raising her kids.

with the four nannies.

must be very hard.

- I've been doing this
a long time by myself.

- I give you a lot of credit.

i respect that.
That's a lot of work.

good job. Good job.

- yeah.
- Good job.

- thanks.

- thank you all for coming.

- I really am looking forward
to vegas...

- oh, we're gonna have a blast.
Are you kidding?

- yeah.

- what I love about vegas
is that anything can happen.

and you never know what's
gonna happen with this group.

that's for sure.

- to vegas.

- vegas.

- we're gonna have
so much fun.

- coming up on
the real housewives...

- yes!

- to see all these women in high
heels and playing basketball,

hilarious.

- what?

- I give up.

- I think I'm gonna take
this dress.

- this one too?

- yeah, yeah.
Let's take that.

ken,
can you come in a second?

- yeah?

- shall I take this one?
Do you like that?

- I think I'd wear that
on saturday.

- do I wear that
to the concert?

- yeah.

- packing for vegas?
Easy.

dresses, heels, glitz.

well, maybe I'll take that
as the reserve.

- that's one of my favorites.

- you know, I know adrienne's
gonna go all out,

'cause she's Miss vegas,

so we had to kind of
step it up a notch.

can you put these
in a little bag?

you know, like the little
shoe bag thing.

- you haven't got
many shoes have you?

- oh, stop it.

woman can never have
too many shoes.

that's for sure.

- so shall I
go and start mine, or--?

- yeah.
Yours is all the same anyway.

every time we go away,
yours is boring.

it's, like, black jacket,
white shirt, and jeans.

darling,
do you need my help?

- have you...

you know,
i'm useless at this.

- how many pairs of underpants
do you need?

- three.

- you normally wear one a week.

just kidding.

okay.

- gonna Miss you.
- Toy.

- um, you know that
we're going to see jay-z.

- do you even know
a jay-z song?

- no, but I know
that he's cool.

and I know that
he's married to beyonce,

and that's all I care about.

i only knew who he was
because of farrah,

but I was excited anyway.

- honey, I'm home.

- hi.
[dog barks]

- shh. Chloe.

- hi, girls.

[baby laughs]

- honey, I just want
to say one thing.

- yeah.

- I don't want one comment
about the amount of stuff.

- honey, you're going
for two days.

- I'm serious.

- two days.

- I have to have at least
three outfits a day,

and I have to have backups.

'cause if it's cold,
if it's hot,

depending on my mood,

if I feel chubby that day,
you know,

the outfit changes.

it looks like
i'm moving there,

but I'm just...prepared.

okay, no room for dad.

- russell.

honey, you know,
we're leaving for vegas.

you need to pack, sweetie.

i know you've got
a million things going on,

but you're gonna be naked
in vegas.

you're a little too old
for that, I think.

[laughs]

i started
packing for russell

when we first started dating,

i think, just as
a sweet thing to do for him.

you want to take this?
Little cashmere?

okay, good.
Looks good on you.

but as it is
in most marriages,

as soon as you show someone that
you can do something for them,

it becomes
easier for me to do it

than for him to do it.

- and my black shirt.

- oh, that--
You always love that.

the black shirt.
It goes everywhere with us.

um, like saturday day
we're gonna be at the pool.

- I have to go
to scottsdale on saturday.

- what?
- Just for three hours.

- honey.

- thought I would
kind of squeeze it in

before we come back
to los angeles.

- okay.

you're squeezing in work

in the middle
of our weekend away?

- just a little piece.

- here we are planning
this great weekend

and it's a big
couples getaway,

and now, as usual,
somehow business

is getting slipped
into the middle of it.

okay, so forget
daytime saturday for russell.

- I need my laptop.

i need my sunglasses.
Some workout clothes.

maybe a pair of jeans
and a pair of slacks.

and then a couple
of dress shirts.

- okay.
- Okay.

- done.

consider yourself
ready to fly.

- perfect.
- Thank you.

[exhales]

- there's my bag.

- don't get it.
Let the guys get it.

- that's my makeup.
This is just my makeup.

- that's just shoes.

- lisa's panties
are in that bag.

- whoo-hoo!
This feels like vegas, baby.

- yeah.

- remember,
what happens at the palms

doesn't stay at the palms.

[laughter]

- who's gonna get married
at one of those chapels?

I've always wanted to go to one
of those old chapel weddings.

- I was not bummed out
that kelsey couldn't be there.

everybody wants to know him.

the attention
always goes to him.

so I'm happy to be there

without the conversation
being all about my husband.

i like that.

- hi.

how are you doing?

- going to vegas with adrienne

is always a better time
than going without adrienne,

because obviously there's
definitely some perks

in hanging out
with the owner of the casino.

- I want to show you
this very, very cool suite

called the hardwood suite.

actually, larry,
you're gonna take us, right?

- I'm gonna take you
to the hardwood suite right now.

- I'm not one
to really show off.

that's not really my style.

but when I took
the girls there,

i really wanted them to see
the hard work we put in

to making it
a spectacular place.

- oh, my god.
Look at this.

- oversized bed
for a basketball player.

- makes you kind of feel
like you're in a rap video.

- this is a good place
to have a little party.

- we decided to do
a basketball suite,

because we're in
the nba business

on the sacramento kings.

we wanted to do something
a little different, unique,

something you'll never
experience in your life.

- are you serious?
There is a basketball court.

- I know.
- That's outrageous.

- what I love about adrienne

is that she's so humble
and low key,

you would never know

that she owns this
gorgeous hotel and casino.

- oh, my gosh.

we're having a party
in here tonight.

- yes!

- to see all these women

in high heels
and playing basketball,

oh, my gosh.

hilarious.

- okay.

- oh, lisa.

- okay, it's time for a drink.
I give up.

- this is a great view.

- welcome to vegas.
Where's the mini bar?

- [laughs]

oh,
this is a gorgeous room.

we can watch the sunset
while we get ready.

- let's find the mini bar
and then get naked.

- [laughs]

well,
I Miss our little girl,

but it's kind of nice
just to get away,

just the two of us.

i so rarely have
your undivided attention

away from the office.

- it's gonna be nice.
- Yeah.

- a weekend with no kids?
- I know.

and no work?

- how long has it been?

- yeah.

- maybe a little work.

you're gonna make it back

in time for that
concert though, right?

- oh, yeah.
Absolutely.

- all right.

i truly wanted
to marry someone for love

as opposed to just marrying

to get to where
I wanted to be in life.

- so you enjoy the spa.

by the time you get out,
i'll be back.

- all right.
- All right?

- okay.

unbelievable.

but I knew
when I married russell

that he worked nonstop,

that he was someone
who was not gonna be there

holding my hand and,
you know, be by my side

24 hours a day.

'cause that's always
been the way it is.

okay.

i hope it was
the right thing to do.

coming up on
the real housewives...

- camille's dancing was,
like,

she was really
shaking it and moving it.

i think all that's missing
was a pole, really.

- money?
I mean honey. Come on.

this is cute, isn't it?

- I love it.
Looks good.

let me see.

you look hot.

- [sighs]

here I am in this beautiful
hotel room all by myself.

lonely.

kind of sad.

i don't want
to be alone anymore.

i see my sisters, and they have
their wonderful husbands,

and I want that for me now.

i do want to find somebody
that I want to grow old with.

- hi, it's kyle.

please leave a message.
[beep]

- hi, it's me.
I'm in my room.

it's so beautiful.

want to see
if you're in yours yet.

um, oh, my gosh,
there's a fire on.

anyway, call me back.
Love you.

oh, and I want to find out
for sure what you're wearing.

love you.

- hi.

- the rooms are sexy rooms,
aren't they?

- yeah.

- oh, I love my room.
- Yeah, they're great.

- cocktail for the lady?

- I don't drink, so...

- I have flat water for you.

i can get
sparkling water for you.

- no, we want a fun drink.

camille, a fun drink.

- what kind of fun drinks
do you have?

- pickle juice martini
is delicious.

- let's go for it.
Why not?

i'm not a big drinker.

i'll nurse
one drink all night,

but I barely
drink any of it.

so if I drink anything,
you will be carrying me home.

- that's the plan.

- a lot of the girls are
always trying to get me drunk,

but that'll never happen,
because I just--I don't drink.

- everybody real quick,
this is chef gino.

- hey, chef gino.

- chef barry.

- butternut squash risotto
with some basil oil.

parmigiano-reggiano,

little touch
of mascarpone cheese, okay?

- nice
- gorgeous.

- wow.

- restaurants, I'm always the
one that's kind of in control

and, you know,
organizing everything,

so it was really nice
to actually give up

and let adrienne run with it.

- cheers, everybody.
- Cheers.

- nice to have all of you.

- paul,
thank you for having us.

- russell,
nice to meet you.

- to a very fun
and wonderful evening.

- to our host.

thank you so much
for a wonderful weekend.

- thank you.

- wow.
Beautiful.

- the, uh...
- The lump crab.

- yeah.
- I got some for you.

- that'd be great.

- everything is so good.
Oh, my god.

- thank you.

- I got one quick funny story
about adrienne.

so, you know,
when I met adrienne,

she said, you know,

"i want to cook you
a beautiful dinner tonight."

she comes out
with this piece of chicken

with nothing else.

piece of chicken on a plate.

and what she did was,

she got a frozen breast.
- Come on.

- cooked it for five minutes
and give it to me.

- no, on both sides.

- yeah, both sides.

and she had her little dog,
a little maltese,

and this dog
was barking nonstop.

- and I'm sitting there going,
"oh, my god."

and she's sitting there
reading a book, relaxing.

and I'm saying, "oh, my god.
How can you do this?"

and I said, "she'll be
an incredible mother."

- let me tell you something.

that reason
about being the good mother

is the exact reason
that I married kyle.

because when I met her
she had farrah,

and I got, like, an
opportunity to see, like...

- like a glass ball,
you got to see the future.

- it was really cool,
and it was important.

- before the trip, I thought,

"oh, I'll be
the only one alone again."

i thought,
"i'll be fine."

but honestly to be alone was,

you know, really difficult
for me.

[laughter]

- I want to hear about
camille and kelsey.

- um, his agent set us up.

his agent was
a really good friend of mine.

and his agent said, "why don't
you come to new york with me?

"i know a girl in new york
that you'd really like,

and I think
you might even marry her,"

and sure enough we met.

it was a blind date.

- and the rest is history.
- And the rest is history.

- what did he tell him
about her

that made him want
to fly across the country?

hmm.

and what about--
Where'd you guys meet?

- I had my attorney
call her attorney.

[laughter]

- and the prenup was written.
No, no, no.

- well, no,
the prenup was already, um...

- yes, established.

- we met in a restaurant
waiting for a table.

and I saw him from a distance
and decided that--

i saw him from a distance,

and I just knew I was gonna
be with him one way or another.

- [clears throat]

i just don't believe
for a second

that taylor would see russell
across the room.

are you kidding me?

- and he avoided me
like the plague.

- wait a minute. Usually
it's the other way around.

- I ran for three months.

- what's wrong with you?
She's gorgeous.

- I ran.
- I had to chase him for months.

- what?
- Wait a minute.

- what's wrong with you?

- I was just happy
being single at the time, and...

- taylor,
let me get this straight.

you had your eyes on him?
- Yeah.

- ...such a great catch.

not the other way around.

what's wrong
with this picture?

- I would like to think
that he went on bended knees

and crawled a thousand miles
to get that girl.

i mean, taylor's a bright,
vivacious, attractive woman.

evidently,
opposites attract.

in vegas, the night
never ends with dinner,

so we went to adrienne's club
in the casino.

- you go, girl!

the way camille moves
when she's dancing,

i can see why kelsey
married her.

i mean, you know,
she's very sexy.

- oh, man.

- whoo!

- all of the husbands,

every one of 'em
was up and dancing,

and the surprising thing to me

is my husband didn't even
dance at my wedding.

so this was a first
for russell and me

to get up
and dance together.

- whoo!

- I think all the girls
let loose in vegas.

they all had a great time.

- camille's dancing was, like,

she was really
shaking it and moving it.

i think all that's missing
was a pole, really.

- it's not that
I don't trust my husband.

it's that I don't
trust other women.

women are barracudas.

you come near my husband,
and I will...[hisses].

coming up on
the real housewives...

- on the operating table,

the doctor said,
"i should have listened to you,

'cause you have
beautiful breasts."

- oh, really?
- Yeah.

and kelsey sat in the doctor's
office and went, "no!"

[laughter]

- any tricks in those bags
of yours, ladies?

- well, never hurts to have
a little eyeliner.

- all right.

- you don't need makeup.

that's the sad
truth of it, missy.

- no, I do.
I do.

- oh, I do like
this blush, though.

what's it called?
- Orgasm.

- mm, what a coincidence.

[laughter]

- no wonder
I was enjoying it so.

my cheeks have never
been so happy.

would you like some?

- no, thank you.

I've had one already today.

- oh, I see.
[laughter]

- what a beautiful day, huh?

- yeah.

- I love it.
Nice.

what a nice day.

- okay, great.
Thank you so much.

- all right.

- oh, it's perfect.

- it's beautiful out.

- are you hungry?
Do you want to eat something?

- I actually
do want to eat something.

- did you eat this week?

- no, I was trying
not to eat that much

so that I would
feel good for vegas.

- well, we feel really good

until camille walks in.
- Yeah, exactly.

we're gonna have
to push camille in the pool.

- that's a fantastic idea,
as long as you do it.

- good morning, guys.
- Hey.

- hi.

- hello, ladies.
Good morning.

- I was a little chilly,
so I had to cover up a little.

- oh, you wait
till camille takes it off.

you know
it's gonna be spectacular.

- you look great.
- Thank you.

- holy toledo.

i would be running around
with a napkin on

if I had her body.

- where should I put my robe?

- we have the same shoes on,
cam.

- do we?

- I know.
We all have the same shoes.

we're rocking the same shoe.

- hi, girls.
- Hi.

- hi, darling.
- Hello, everybody.

- I feel more comfortable
hanging out with men than women,

because I think women
can be very catty,

and I don't like cattiness.

you're gonna move me?
- Yeah.

- get--okay.
[laughs]

i'm always in the middle
of the men.

this is gonna look
really bad for me.

- I like sports
and enjoying myself.

life's too short.

- you guys want a shot?

- I'll take a shot.

- what do you want?

- but only if somebody
keeps me company.

- all right.

- okay,
i'll have a tequila shot.

- yes!
- Oh, yay!

- yes.

- oh.
Okay, yes.

- the guys are so much fun.

- Mr. Mexico.

- and you know what?

they don't edit themselves.

they just say
whatever's on their mind.

they feel, they say it.

the women are still
editing themselves.

[speaking spanish]

- "up and down and
the center and in," right?

- and then you take
a little salt,

a little tequila,
and a little lime.

- what are you sipping it for?

- camille, you've got
to do it down in one,

otherwise you're not
gonna do it.

go on.

- you're trying
to get me to drink.

you guys are trying
to get me to drink.

i like this
technique better.

- this one's better, right?

- camille has admitted
that she is a guy's girl,

not a girl's girl.

- mm.

- and I think that's obvious.

- I wish I never had them done
from the beginning.

on the operating table,
the doctor said,

"i should
have listened to you,

because you have
beautiful breasts."

- oh, really?
- Yeah.

- you took them out?

- yes, and I told the doctor

that I don't want
implants anymore.

i'm done. I'm done.
I'm finished.

i can't play gol--
You know, I want to swing,

i want to play golf,
I want to do things.

they get in the way.

- camille was sitting there
talking about her breasts,

and kelsey sat in
the doctor's office and went,

"no!"

- as if my husband needs his
attention drawn to her breasts.

no, thank you, camille.

- I wonder where russell is
right now exactly.

- in phoenix.

- but what is he doing?

- playing golf.

[laughter]

- closing a $25 million deal.

- yeah,
on the golf course.

- welcome back.

- I have no idea
where russell went,

but I felt bad for taylor.

i could tell
she was either embarrassed,

or felt sad that he left.

i felt bad.

- russell's not here.

- I know.
He's in phoenix, right?

- yeah.

- I was really irritated
and disappointed,

because I wanted
to spend time with him,

and I wanted him
to have a chance

to bond with my friends
and their husbands,

and he wasn't there.

- so I'm gonna head up,

because I got to get ready.

- actually,
we have to go anyway,

'cause we have
to eat dinner by 5:30.

we're gonna eat
before the concert.

we should go, because we're not
gonna have a lot of time.

- what is everybody wearing?

- dressing up, I think.

- I'm wearing white jeans.

- you're gonna
wear a white elvis suit,

is what you're gonna wear.

- hello.
How's it going?

- hello.
- Hi. How are you?

- thank you.
- Thank you.

it's beautiful.

- oh, I like it.

- lisa, you sit there,
kim, you sit there,

i'll sit here, and then
the girls will go this way.

- isn't that a bit selfish?

just plunk yourself
in the middle of the table.

- well, we are the first ones
here, aren't we?

- all right then.
[laughter]

- we went to an early dinner.

very early dinner.

felt more like breakfast
to me for vegas,

but we had to make it
to the jay-z concert.

- I'm gonna stick with
a margarita on the rocks.

honey, what kind of tequila
do I like in the margarita?

- straight from the bottle?

- patron.

- uh, what kind of vodka
do I like?

- belvedere.

- why do we not know
our own drinks?

- 'cause we never order them.

- that's what you
have husbands for.

- that's what we're for.
Exactly.

- hello.

- hey.
- Hey.

- all right.

how was your trip?

- did you go to phoenix?

phoenix and then tucson.

[laughs]

- how'd you manage to do that?

- uh, very quickly.

[laughter]

- that's funny.
- Hey.

- hi.
- Hi, everybody.

- wow.

- I love that.

- yeah, we're probably
a little overdressed,

but we're representing
beverly hills,

so come on, bring it on.
Here we go.

- hello.
Russell's back!

[laughter]

how was the golf game?

[laughter]

- honey, the jig is up.

- the jig is up.

- excellent.

- can't wait to try it.

- eating too much this weekend.

- oh, my god.

- hi. How are you?

how are you?

hi.
How are you?

- hi.
- It's nice to see you.

- I'm so sorry to interrupt.
- What are you doing here?

- trisha and I had
some business to do in vegas,

and I thought
i'd come and say hi.

- I'm so glad. Are you gonna
hang out with us tonight?

are you free?

- I'm free for,
like, couple hours.

i'll be your date for the...

- oh.
[laughter]

I've been so lonely.

- are you kelsey?

- I'm not kelsey.

[laughter]

- no, kelsey is a very good
friend of mine, so...

- kelsey probably sent him
to spy on me.

- this man is
very, very handsome.

i think camille thought
kelsey had sent him

to kind of keep an eye on her.

i don't know if that's the right
guy to be sending, though.

- hi.
- Hi.

- the girls are all like,
"you can stay here."

- yeah.

- I don't want to crash.
- Oh, please crash.

please crash, right?

- are you sure?
Is that all right?

- did you see all the men?
Their faces?

like, "who is that?"

- that's a good looking guy,

the son of a gun.

i'm jealous.

- hey, that's not fair.

you guys have your wives.

and I don't have a husband,

so it's my rent-a-husband.

- rent-a-husband.

- oh, oh, oh, wait.

- oh!

- we have to get you
a rent-a-husband.

- I love nick.

- oh, look at this.

- I mean, I would not
kiss my friend's husband

on the lips hello.

but, hey, to each his own.

rawr.

- every couple months.

we just kind of--
Overnight.

- you have great sex.

[laughs]

- yeah.

- oh, wow.

love that.

- and then dessert arrived.

- fabulous!

- there was, like,
ding dongs and ho hos

and cotton candy.

it was an interesting array
of desserts.

- taylor was playing
with that cotton candy.

she was kind of licking it
and chewing it.

doing things that I only
read about in books.

[laughter]

- you're missing jiggy,
aren't you, love?

- that looks like
a little poodle.

- I'm just so attracted to it.

i can't--I can't help myself.

- who wouldn't want
to go see jay-z?

he's fabulous.
An amazing performer.

- I like jay-z.

i don't know any of his songs

except for the new york song.

i don't know
if that's the name of it,

but something to do
with new york.

they said if it's too loud,
you're too old.

i'm too old.

when they're rapping,

they're saying all these things
and doing it so quickly,

and I just don't understand
a word he's saying

except [mumbling].

[all cheering,
speaking indistinct]

- that was amazing!

whoo-hoo!

- tada.

- oh, my god.
That is gorgeous.

- wow.
- Isn't that amazing?

- look at that.
- Oh, that's gorgeous.

- the view from the penthouse
was spectacular,

and the girls I think
were shocked

to see how beautiful vegas is,
especially from our suite.

to wonderful friends.

viva las vegas.

- viva las vegas.

- hello, las vegas.

- whoo-hoo!

we are here.

[all cheer]

- you know,
I did feel like camille

was really off
on her own a little.

i don't know if she was
distracted, or...

she just seemed to be a bit
distant from the group.

- ooh, I'm gonna go,
'cause I'm cold, you guys.

the view,
it was spectacular,

but then I thought to myself,

"i don't really know
these girls still."

i mean,
they're bonding right now.

bye-bye.

and I'm still the outsider.

- nice shot.

- two, baby.

- that was sweet.

- we should play
a game with our husbands

where they have to end up
in high heels.

- we don't do high heels.
Sorry.

- your husband does it
when you're not home.

don't worry.

- I married the bull-riding
texas cowboy.

he will not wear heels.

- oh, my god.

- oh!

- can you not
connect the dots?

- no, I cannot,
to be honest.

- russell was kind of
on the periphery.

i don't think he really
connected or bonded with us.

- how we doing?

- good.

- good, good.

let's get some food.

- I was bummed.
I didn't want to leave.

i was having a good time.
We're in vegas.

- you ready, babe?
- Yeah.

- when he says it's time to go,
it's generally time to go.

you know, russell drives
the bus in this relationship.

i would be so annoyed
if mauricio did that to me.

what is he, her father?

party was over for taylor.
Not good.

- coming up on
the real housewives...

- she said, "i don't like
being interrogated."

- I was just
a little surprised

that she went there with me.

- let's get the story straight.

i didn't say those things.

- I need to get some new jeans.

they came in, uh, petites now.

- ooh.

- so now I don't have
to go have everything altered.

love that.

- hi there.

- hi, ladies.
How are you doing today?

- good. How are you?

- so what are we looking for?

- I need to get
some new jeans.

think you wanted
to get some too.

- okay. I'll pick out
a few things.

- thank you.

i have to fill you in
on what happened in vegas.

- what happened?

- the whole weekend
was so much fun.

we were laughing
and gambling, and...

then it was
the weirdest thing.

the last day I said, "what are
you guys all doing this week?"

and camille said,
"i'm leaving for hawaii."

so I said,
"is kelsey meeting you?

she said no, and I said,
"are you taking girlfriends?"

and she said no.

and I was thinking,
"well, that's great,

to go on a vacation
with your kids, spring break..."

- and you're just
so surprised,

'cause you've never
done anything like that.

- well, yeah, that's what
was going through my head.

so I said, "oh, really? Wow,
what are you guys gonna do?"

and she said, you know,

"oh, you know, we've got
a lot of stuff planned,"

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

and then all of a sudden
she says to me,

"why does this
bother you so much?"

- what?

it was really weird.

it came totally
out of left field.

i didn't even know
what she was talking about,

so I said, "what are you
talking about?"

- why would it
bother you anyways?

that's what I said.
I said, "what do you mean?

why does what bother me?"

she said,
"i can feel your tension."

'cause that's how she talks.
Very like that.

"i can feel your tension."

then she said, "i don't like
being interrogated."

- we've got to go in here.
We've got to go in here.

- oh, oh, fabulous.
Great.

- I love it in here.

- did you talk to any
of the girls, camille?

- I haven't talked to kyle,

and I was gonna
bring that up,

'cause kyle and I left
on an uncomfortable note.

- I know. I know.

- and I'm upset about it.

i just hope
that everything is okay.

- I really think
you guys should talk.

- kyle started asking me
questions about hawaii.

i felt like
I was being interrogated.

and then she came out
with a real snide comment.

she said, "why would anybody
be interested in being with you

without kelsey there?"

well, ow.
That hurts.

- she didn't mean it like that.

i think
you misinterpreted it.

i really do.

- if anybody says to me,

"why would anybody be around
without kelsey there?"

that's such a low blow.

so you didn't
hear that part?

- no, I didn't hear it.
- That's what she said to me.

- I don't think
that she meant that at all.

somebody can say something,

and what that person says isn't
what the other person hears.

- I was just a little surprised
that she went there with me.

- I would never think
something like that.

i would never
say something like that.

i'm, like,
scared to talk to her now.

i mean, to me,
if someone snaps like that

from me just asking,
"what's your spring break?"

then I really don't
know what to say.

- and I know you
didn't think it was much,

but you weren't in
on the whole conversation.

- but I don't understand why you
reacted like that, to be honest.

i don't see, you know,
your point of view.

- don't throw jabs at me,

because I will
stand up for myself.

- I mean, I don't know.
What do I do?

you're studying psychology.

what does this mean?

- what it means is nothing
changes from high school.

- let's get the story straight.

i didn't say those things.

elementary school.

this feels like
elementary school.

it really does.

- next time on the real
housewives of beverly hills...

- a good size party,

it could be--they run around
maybe 50,000.

- awesome. Okay.

- looking good, baby.

- oh, thanks.
- Looking good.

- I'm just gonna
have people come around

and just kiss my ass
and tell me how wonderful I am.

- and you're hot.
You're good eye candy.

- please, more, more.

- do you have, like,

a problem with drugs
and everything?

'cause that's what worries me.
- No.

- is that being in,
you know, hollywood.

i'm worried.

- to learn more
about the housewives,