The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Chocolate Louboutins - full transcript
It's Easter weekend in Beverly Hills but that doesn't mean that there is any less drama. Adrienne is on her way to Vegas for a shoot with a hot male model but she reluctantly decides to ...
KYLE: Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
Your eyes still look good.
What else is good?
LISA: Cedric has lived with us
for a year, nine months, three
weeks, two days, and 14 hours.
That's it.
That's the only
thing that's good.
Is that it?
I grew up being
very independent.
Of course, with all
brothers, I had to be.
I'm really upset that
my husband is leaving
to go to New York for a year.
This is going to be hard.
OK, bye-bye!
I've been looking for
a bigger home for months,
but right now, I'm
really under the gun.
I don't want you
just to settle.
This is your home,
but, seriously, I
cannot keep looking like this.
I'm trying to help you find
a life outside your kids.
I feel like Kyle oversteps
her boundaries sometimes.
Why don't you just
do it on your own?
I've been doing it on
my own for a long time.
[THEME MUSIC]
TAYLOR: It may look like I
have it all, but I want more.
LISA: In Beverly Hills, it's who
you know, and I know everyone.
ADRIENNE: Money is what
I have, not who I am.
KIM: I was a child star, but
now my most important role
is being a mother.
KYLE: In a town full of phonies,
I'm not afraid to be me.
CAMILLE: It's time for me to
come out of my husband's shadow
and shine.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: Are you already
packed, Alexia?
ALEXIA: Yeah.
Hey, it's me.
Um, just sitting here packing.
You're coming, right?
It is Easter, and
it's a very important
holiday for my family.
We go to Palm
Springs every Easter.
We have a home there.
OK, and just so you know,
I invited Ken, and Lisa,
and their daughter, Pandora,
and her boyfriend, Jason,
just so you know.
They're going to stay at
a hotel down the street,
but we'll still be together.
We argue.
We make up.
That's how sisters are.
When we were little, you
know, we would get in fights
and, like, rip each
other's hair out,
and then we'd be, like, cuddling
and laying in bed together.
So maybe it's not that normal,
but it's normal for Kim and me.
Love you, bye.
She's coming?
Yes, she's coming.
It's Easter.
You guys made up?
Look, it wasn't like
it was a big deal.
I mean, you know, whatever.
We're fine.
MAURICIO: Right.
It's Easter, and, you know?
MAURICIO: You got to
do what you got to do.
Do what you got to do.
We'll go, and we'll have fun.
Right?
Right, girls?
Right.
MAURICIO: How many
pairs of shoes
are you taking to Palm Desert?
KYLE: Why do you
always ask me that?
Don't look.
What do you care?
[LAUGHS]
KYLE: What do you care?
There's nine pairs.
[LAUGHS] By the way, nine pairs.
[LAUGHS] Oh my god.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hold on.
Oh, oh.
What?
You hit the side of my door--
Don't worry, Paul.
--side of my door
with your purse.
Don't worry.
My marriage is a
little different.
They have this turkey chilli.
It's incredible.
I don't like turkey.
Paul and I bicker,
but when we bicker,
it's more in a fun-loving--
no, I don't want to say that.
It's not.
Is there any way to get just
a little small, small thing
of that turkey chilli,
which is incredible here.
I don't eat turkey.
Remember, I just said that.
Well, let me just taste it.
- I don't want any.
- Wait a minute.
You don't like turkey?
No.
Could I have a chopped salad--
WAITRESS: OK.
--with the turkey?
OK.
And a little bit of
the-- just a little
bit of the kosher salami too.
Can I have a little mix?
- Half and half?
- Yeah.
OK.
I mean, well,
just mostly turkey--
WAITRESS: Oh, you meant--
OK.
Mostly turkey.
Just add some salami on it.
And, um, how about some, um--
--you don't have
low-fat cheese, do you?
Oh, come on.
No, we don't.
Paul, come on.
[LAUGHS]
Just order.
I have to do a photo
shoot for the--
it's actually a
really cool magazine.
You've heard of "Curve," right?
An Australian magazine
called "Curve" wanted
me to do a photo
shoot, and they wanted
to showcase our Palms Hotel.
A little bit of lingerie,
La Perla, a little bit--
PAUL: Hold on.
You're going to do lingerie?
Tasteful, Paul.
Tasteful.
Is it an all-day photo shoot?
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to go that night,
the night before, and do
the shoot in the morning.
I have an idea.
Since we've had children, we
have not been out one night
alone.
I have to go to Vegas anyway.
I'm trying to see about
setting up a practise once
I have my licence out there.
Why don't we go
together, so I can
be with you on the airplane?
We'll have dinner.
We'll relax that night, spend
one night alone, get, like,
group massages in the
room, and a nice dinner,
relax, watch a movie.
And then the next day,
you do your photo shoot,
and I'll go care of my business.
He always wants to come
with me, and I don't know why.
He always says it's
business, but I
think he, for some reason,
likes to tag along.
Come on.
Let's bring the kids though.
Come on.
PAUL: No, come on.
It's one night.
I know.
We'll do it another time.
No, no, one night alone.
ADRIENNE: I promise
you I'll do--
No.
ADRIENNE: --another time.
- No.
- I want the kids to come.
PAUL: Adrienne, that's
what you always say.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We're going to be together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to be together.
Don't leave me hanging.
Can I take this
ring, and I ought to--
I ought to murder you.
[INAUDIBLE] Can we have
a cup to-go, please,
of turkey chilli?
ADRIENNE: I don't want any.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hasty, hi, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
- Good.
Great to see you.
I'm fine.
I needed a gift for
a friend, so I went
to my favourite chocolatier.
Everyone loves chocolate,
and I wanted to give
them the quintessential.
HASTY: I hope you like it.
Pink, of course.
LISA: Oh, of course.
Oh, they're so cute.
I met Christian
Louboutin last night,
and he actually wants
a picture of these.
That's so beautiful.
Red soles?
Perfect.
They're gorgeous.
HASTY: Well, I'm
happy you like it.
Have many people seen them?
No, they're just for you.
Oh, they're absolutely lovely.
Now, Hasty I'm going to,
like, an Easter brunch,
and I need something.
There's a lot of
children, and I can't
take 20 baskets
or something, so I
need something, like, amazing.
Kyle and Kim invited
me to the desert.
It just seemed like fun.
I didn't want to just show
up like with a little egg
in a box.
How about a
giant Easter bunny?
Yeah.
HASTY: Like--
Yeah, but--
HASTY: --three feet tall.
Could you do it?
HASTY: Oh, absolutely.
Anything for you.
Oh, I love you.
So this is custom,
custom, custom, as usual.
OK, OK.
I can draw you something.
Really long tall
ears, and it can be,
like, maybe having
a backpack on it.
OK, can you do it, like,
with candy flowers and roses,
and make it look really--
because, you know,
some of the kids are younger.
Yeah, I want it gorgeous.
Exquisite looking.
Absolutely.
LISA: Well, a bit
better than that.
HASTY: Flowers.
[LAUGHTER]
LISA: If it looks
like that, I'm scared.
[LAUGHTER]
I'll bring in, like,
an icebox or something.
HASTY: OK.
Let me have a look at
the shoes one more time.
HASTY: [LAUGHS]
- Can I take them with me now?
- Oh, sure.
Sure.
- OK, that would be great.
HASTY: I'll wrap them up.
- I love them.
Thank you so much.
Don't drop them.
You're making me nervous.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right, let's go, guys.
Right now.
BROOKE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have your keys?
KIM: Yes, ma'am.
I do.
Kim still has
not found a house,
and I've asked her to please,
let's take the weekend off.
It's Easter, and we're
going to take a break now.
We'll get back to house
hunting next week.
Chad, let's go, honey.
Do you have your bag?
KIM: OK.
KIMBERLY: Are we ready?
KIM: Yeah, I think so.
KIMBERLY: OK, you're up front.
KIM: We go to Palm
Springs every Easter.
We've been doing it since
we were little girls,
and now we take our children.
Having Ken and Lisa this
Easter is a little different.
Nothing personal against Lisa.
It's family time.
And we're off.
CHAD: Oh, god.
I don't think I
packed everything.
KIM: We always forget something.
Driving to the desert
with my kids is just fun.
What are you doing?
BROOKE: Stop being [BLEEP] rude.
Oh.
[GROWLS] We talk a lot.
We play games.
I brought cards.
Ugh.
It's our time.
Oh my gosh.
Remember when you guys were
little and you'd see a train,
and you'd get so excited.
BROOKE: No.
We are a train.
KIMBERLY: And we are your ducks.
No, we are each a caboose.
And then--
You always come up with
these weird analogies.
I do.
They don't make any sense.
And when one of our
cabooses has a problem,
all the other engineers
from the other cabooses
come to the other--
I thought we were the caboose.
No, we're each a
caboose in the train.
Literally, you're
trying to make--
like, talk about nothing.
Like, that's you, Kimberly.
There's--
There's Whitney.
CHAD: Where?
OK, you obviously
don't get it.
I'm so blessed to have my kids.
Do you want to be
my friend, Whitney?
What?
Want to be my friend, Chad?
CHAD: Yeah, I'd like
to be your friend.
WHITNEY: I'd rather
just be your daughter.
I'd like to be both.
And now the only thing
that really matters to me
is that my kids can
communicate with me.
[FLATULENCE]
KIMBERLY: Ew!
Oh my god.
What?
KIMBERLY: You have to
be kidding me right now.
CHAD: What?
WHITNEY: Chad.
Ugh!
CHAD: What?
So ew.
CHAD: What?
KIMBERLY: You have to warn us
so we can roll down the windows.
Are you, like, proud of it?
Coming up.
CAMILLE: I'm an individual,
and I'm not just in the shadow
of Kelsey Grammer.
Bye, sweetie.
KELSEY: Well done today.
OK, thank you.
I am my own person.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: Hi, guys.
Hi.
How are you?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
KYLE: Every year, we celebrate
Easter in Palm Desert.
The house was my
mum's vacation house,
and now it's a family house.
I've been scrubbing all
morning-- the floors.
I cannot get these windows
cleaned no matter what I do.
I'm not going to say you
guys didn't do a good job,
but, you know.
Brooke and Whitney had been
there the weekend before.
They usually straighten
up after themselves,
but this time, it
wasn't exactly perfect.
And I have Ken and Lisa coming,
so I was a little frustrated.
She was here until Monday.
I left.
- No, no, no.
I was the last one.
WHITNEY: If anyone--
KIM: No, I know.
WHITNEY: I Lysoled.
I vacuumed.
I know that.
I know.
Believe me, I knew you
were going to be offended.
It's not that, but it's
just they're white floors.
I don't think Kyle was
on her hands and knees
scrubbing with a sponge.
Whitney was definitely upset.
She felt attacked, I think.
I know you guys
are responsible.
KIM: I just think
we parent different.
What's up?
Hey, Kim.
You look cute.
Thanks.
So do you, handsome.
How you doing?
Hey.
What's up, love?
How was your drive?
Excellent.
OK, so you will
barbecue tonight?
Yeah.
KYLE: Kim and I will
go to the market.
MAURICIO: I mean, it's
3 o'clock already.
We got to get a move on.
No, they're not going to come
here until probably 5:30, 6:00,
I think.
I know.
You haven't even
gone to the market.
You have to prepare.
- I know.
I know.
Don't get me--
[INAUDIBLE].
- Don't make me nervous.
- [INAUDIBLE].
KYLE: I already know.
I know.
KIM: I think that for Kyle to
decide to make dinner for Ken
and Lisa on the day
that we drove down,
it just seemed like a lot of--
kind of a lot.
Kim, do want to make your
potatoes that you make that you
chop up like that, you know?
KIM: Yeah.
OK, we can do
that, the chicken--
Famous potatoes.
- OK.
- OK.
Let's go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I love this market.
KIM: I do too.
It's, like, a
glamorous market.
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, don't squish my bag.
Hey, well, I don't
want to hold it.
Well, that's too big and--
OK.
Kim and I seem to see
things differently
no matter what we do.
Uh-oh.
Where's our list?
Oh, OK.
[INAUDIBLE] you do
really need a list?
Yes.
It's cheese, crackers--
No, I need a list.
--chicken, barbecue--
Can you look at that?
No.
Oh, you can't see it.
Blind as a bat.
Cheese.
KIM: My kids don't like
all this kind of cheese.
Well, you're kids will eat it.
And, OK, hold on.
I thought we were going
to do barbecue sauce.
I don't-- who said teriyaki?
I hate barbecue sauce.
Ew, those are
not Mexican enough.
What about salsa?
We should have
done a fresh one.
Here it is.
No, I just buy.
This is the real deal.
KIM: I like the fake deal.
KYLE: I know because you--
I like the Americanized salsa.
--think Taco Bell
is Mexican food.
OK, hold on.
Even the way you say
it doesn't sound real.
It's salsa.
You act like you're Mexican.
You're not either.
I am bi--
It's salsa.
Salsa.
It's salsa.
So how many
bottles do you need?
We need to marinate
it, and then I need
to pour it all over my chicken.
I knew you were going to
make fun of my cheese balls.
Hey, wait.
I just thought of something.
Let me see what you got.
Oh, that disgusting [INAUDIBLE]?
That looks like something
you put on your front lawn
to keep the animals away.
KYLE: You should
use real butter.
OK, I don't need you to tell
me how to make my potatoes.
Then don't eat them.
You asked me to make them.
I know, but you
should use real butter.
KIM: We're just different cooks,
and we have different broths.
I hope I have enough butter.
Kim, we have a lot of butter.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CAMILLE: Hey, Nicole?
NICOLE: Yeah.
Kevin just got here.
So I'm going to run
down to Kelsey's office,
and we're going to
take this meeting.
OK.
CAMILLE: But I need
you to do me a favour.
If you can reach the
theatre and get Kelsey
on the line during
intermission, so we
can do a little notes session.
I know he's got only, like, 10,
15 minutes, but if he can get
on the line, that would
be really great to do
a conference call with him.
- Got it.
I'll call.
Try to work that out and let
me know what happens with it.
NICOLE: All right.
CAMILLE: I'm just a little
bit busier than some
of the other housewives.
I don't just run and
go shoe shopping.
I produce for my
husband's company called
Gramnet Productions
Incorporated,
and we're always in development.
We're always looking for new
scripts and reading for--
not for just for
TV and for film.
I'm kind of, like, an--
I'm, like, the idea person.
Like, I'll come up, and
I'm, like, the creative one.
So I'll come up with an idea.
And Kelsey and I will
basically write a treatment,
and we'll try to
pitch it to people.
We'll pitch it to writers.
And if we find a writer that
wants to jump on, that's great.
And then we pitch
it to a network.
So nice out today.
KEVIN: Hey.
Hey.
How you doing?
Hey, Kevin, thanks
for coming up.
Absolutely.
Just out here working
on my skin cancer.
[LAUGHS] Perfect.
So how did it go at Nick?
KEVIN: You know, good news,
bad news kind of a situation.
You know, when you're married
to one of the best actors
in Hollywood-- thank you--
and, you know, you just learn
so much from being a part of it.
Well, I like the good news part.
I'm not so sure about
the bad news part.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, look, they started
off the meeting with--
I'm going to be painfully
honest with you.
OK.
Just never a good
start to a meeting.
No.
Recently, I came
up with this idea.
It's based on my
daughter's relationship
with her nanny for a
show for Nickelodeon,
and we're in
development right now.
KEVIN: They love the writing.
Mm-hmm.
KEVIN: Love the jokes.
They love the characters.
They think the
tone is too adult.
OK.
KEVIN: Yeah, that
they want-- you
know, their target demographic
is 9 to 12-year-olds.
Mm-hmm.
KEVIN: And as we got
into it, eventually,
Tracy said, you know what?
Maybe this would be better for
Nick at Nite, which is their 18
to 49-year-old demographic.
Well, you know.
That's not that bad.
I mean, I wouldn't
take that as a--
I take that as a compliment
for your writing.
KEVIN: Well, yeah, exactly.
I mean, it's a testament
to your writing that it's--
It's the nicest back-handed
compliment I ever got.
You're writing it too real.
CAMILLE: [LAUGHS]
You're writing too real.
Its too good.
It's too good for us.
I think I'm pretty
good at giving notes.
When they were looking
for the lead for "Medium,"
and I said there's this
actress, Patricia Arquette.
And I said, oh, Kelsey,
she's brilliant,
so I help my husband make
those kind of decisions.
So talk about
this with Kelsey.
Yeah.
I got a call Nick
on Friday to tell them
what we're planning on doing.
CAMILLE: I'm an individual,
and I'm not just in the shadow
of Kelsey Grammer.
I am my own person.
So, you know, I'm going
to give Kelsey all
this information and I can't--
Great.
I'll start working
on the new outline,
and we'll get going on that.
And let's keep pushing forward.
Fantastic.
Yeah, I'm excited.
All right, terrific.
Fantastic.
Perfect, Kevin.
Thanks for coming out here.
I know this is a bit
of a drive for you.
Oh, yeah, you know--
- Yeah, yeah.
- --it gets me out of the house.
[INAUDIBLE]
- OK.
[LAUGHS] It's such a horrible
place to come to, you know,
Malibu.
- Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Poor me.
All right, say hi
to Kelsey for me.
OK, I will.
I will.
Take care.
I'll see you soon.
Hello?
KELSEY: Hello.
Is Kevin there?
No, he just left.
You just missed him
by, like, five minutes.
It's like too bad.
Just missed him.
KELSEY: Oh, OK.
Tracy's thinking
maybe more Nick at Nite.
KELSEY: Oh, OK.
Well, I mean, that
sounds interesting.
I mean, fine.
So I have to go do my show now.
Oh, god.
How did it go?
How did the first half go?
KELSEY: [INAUDIBLE].
CAMILLE: I can't
wait to see the show.
I love you, and I miss you.
I can't wait to see it.
OK.
KELSEY: Yeah, same here, honey.
OK, bye, sweetie.
KELSEY: OK, well done today.
OK, thank you.
KELSEY: All right, I'll
talk to you later, babe.
Talk to you later.
Bye-bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TAYLOR: Hold on.
Dolce and Gabana catastrophe.
Honey, you're dropping couture.
RUSSELL: OK, please be gentle.
Keeping up with the
lifestyle in Beverly Hills
requires an extraordinary
amount of money,
but I think the
conveniences of being
able to have people
do things for you is
really what money means to me.
JULIE: Leave the wallet.
TAYLOR: I have a stylist,
Julie, who comes to the house,
and that's one of the
perks of being married
to someone like Russell.
Let me show you what I brought
you to show off your leggies.
- Yeah.
- This is Donna Karan.
I am loving the
idea of putting
this tank with these shorts.
JULIE: Me too.
I think that's perfect.
This, we can just wear casual.
Isn't that cute?
Yeah, that's cute.
JULIE: Stella McCartney.
Ah, good for her.
Is this going to
cover up my boom boom?
JULIE: Let me see.
TAYLOR: You know, my
little girl doesn't
like my boom boom showing.
JULIE: Right, you don't
want your cheeks showing.
TAYLOR: Money buys convenience.
I don't really hesitate
when I need to buy shoes.
You know, I don't really
have to think twice.
This is amazing.
That would-- I don't
think it'd be too
much because this is the back.
So when you take the
jacket off, really,
you'd see all the detail, but--
TAYLOR: And I like how the
size of the rhinestones
are comparable.
Like, you know,
they kind of blend.
This Chanel is so you.
Oh, I love this.
JULIE: Isn't that to die?
And I'd throw it off with,
like, a beautiful white handbag.
You know, the Chanel
handbag that you
got last year or last summer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my.
OK, put that in the--
Not really.
--crazy Julie pile.
[LAUGHS]
Do you want me to burn it?
I can throw it out the window.
I love it.
[LAUGHS] No.
- But seriously, like--
- I love it, I just--
- --bye.
- --I'm not that brave.
You don't like it.
I don't want you
to even try it on.
Forget it.
TAYLOR: Living in Beverly
Hills, it's extremely expensive
and so someone has
to pay the bills.
Thankfully, Russell
makes a great living.
Uh-oh.
You better hide the tags, or
Russell is going to kill me.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, don't look
at the price tag.
Don't look at the price.
Say, isn't your
birthday coming up?
I mean--
[LAUGHS]
LISA: Coming up.
Oh, what are
you trying to say?
You're skinnier, and I'm not?
Oh, do you see that face?
Yeah.
You may be skinnier, however--
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, no, wait!
[INAUDIBLE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MAURICIO: Thank god
everybody's working in here.
Honey, why are you putting
that orange juice right
where everything looks pretty?
Why do you always do that?
I'm going to mix the orange
juice into a margarita.
KYLE: You need to find
another area to mix.
Every time I make
everything cleaned up,
people put junk on there.
It's really stressful
cooking for a lot of people,
and I think I felt a little
more stress just because Ken
and Lisa, you know,
having the restaurants
and when you go to
their house and have
like pink risotto for lunch.
And we're like,
um, a baked potato.
Take it easy for a second.
Relax, OK?
Hi.
Hello.
Hi, darling.
How are you?
Oh, look at this.
Of course, it would
be a pink one.
How are you?
Oh, he's so sweet.
KEN: He's a real man.
MAURICIO: It's a lilac.
Everything good?
Yes, it's great.
KIM: When in these
situations, I know
I have to work harder
in being more social,
but I'm not all
that comfortable.
LISA: Why are you boiling these?
MAURICIO: Girls, where
did you put them?
Kim's famous potatoes.
Huh?
Come on in, Chef Lisa,
because that's what he does.
Kim's famous potatoes.
KYLE: Wait, Kim--
Very well-organised,
these two.
KYLE: Are you making fun?
KEN: Oh, no, I
wasn't making fun.
KYLE: We don't own restaurants.
Wait, can I just tell you--
I love this.
LISA: No, he's taking the piss.
We didn't, you know--
That's a good idea.
Well, gee, we just didn't
have our available vela
blanca chef to prepare a meal.
Let's see you hands on
helping out except carrying
a little poodle on your arm.
Let me get my stuff
out of the way,
so Ken won't make
fun of me anymore.
Kyle is fabulous.
I adore her.
I don't know Kim
very well, but I
feel that kind of when
you get close to her,
she's a little defensive.
KIM: [INAUDIBLE]
than a restaurant.
LISA: Heat up some butter now.
KYLE: I'm getting it.
It's not really butter
though because Kim chose--
how much?
A lot, Lisa, or a little?
LISA: Oh, just put
the whole thing in.
You can afford it.
Go on.
Like that?
That's not butter.
Kim bought this.
I told her it's not butter.
She didn't listen to me.
I can't believe it.
[LAUGHS]
KIM: I bought it.
KYLE: Lisa, don't listen.
You buy fake cheese things.
KYLE: No, it's organic.
KIM: Fake cheese puffs.
You think organic is fake.
We're not arguing.
We're not arguing about butter.
OK, I can't even have--
wait, your Cheerios are fake.
You're cheese puffs--
They're healthy.
They're healthier.
Really?
KYLE: I think with Kim and I,
there are a lot of underlying
issues that we haven't
dealt with over the years,
so sometimes the littlest
thing can set me off.
Oh, what are you trying to say?
You're skinnier, and I'm not?
Did you see that face?
Yeah.
Because I buy
organic, she makes fun.
She's trying to say, well, look,
I'm skinny, and you're not.
I didn't-- did I say that?
Yeah.
Oh my god!
Basically.
You did have the-- mm-hmm.
Do you know what?
I can't wait to get a couple
of my girlfriends here.
I'm going to have to make--
- I'm sorry.
I'm telling you right now--
KIM: --some serious
girlfriends [INAUDIBLE]..
--you may be skinnier.
However--
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, no, wait!
[INAUDIBLE]
What are you going to say?
To be in the middle of
those two, dangerous ground
because if you agree
with either one of them,
then they'll bite your head off.
Oh, this is too stressful.
OK, where is Kim's potatoes?
MAURICIO: They're done.
They're right here.
I want to eat.
That's what I want to do.
This is too much pressure.
Too many people.
No, mama.
Mommy's busy,
look, being the baby.
Mommy's a baby.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WOMAN: Hi, Mrs. Maloof.
Hello.
WOMAN: How are you?
Nice to see you.
Right this way, please.
Thank you.
How you doing?
- Good.
Is Paul here?
Yes, he is.
ADRIENNE: OK.
WOMAN: Right this way.
Hey, look it.
[LAUGHS]
Paul really wanted me
not to take the kids,
which, of course, I
wanted to take the kids.
But I gave in this time only
because my kids were in school.
Hi.
How are you?
Beautiful as always.
Me first.
[LAUGHTER]
It's, like, a fake kiss.
Tell me about
your shoot tomorrow.
It's for "Curve"
magazine, which
is an international
lifestyle magazine.
"Curve" is for the Palms.
They're going to feature
one of our theme houses.
It's a little bit of Dolce and
Gabana, Versace, [INAUDIBLE],,
designer ball gowns.
Trust me, it's cool.
Are you excited?
Yeah, it'll be fun.
So are you doing the photo
shoot alone or with someone
else?
They have this male model.
Very handsome.
Very nice.
PAUL: Wait a minute.
What'd you say?
You heard.
No, because I
was talking to her.
You heard.
Did you say male model?
See, he heard.
TONY: You did.
What?
No, he's a very handsome,
very sweet, nice, beautiful
male model.
Don't worry, Paul.
He's beautiful.
What does that mean?
Beautiful?
Not as beautiful as you.
PAUL: You never
call me beautiful.
You don't even call
me handsome anymore.
But I call you, don't I?
[LAUGHTER]
Paul is the type of
person that, you know,
you feel a kindred spirit
with because he just seems
like he's always on your side.
Why can't they use me?
[LAUGHS]
You want people to buy
the magazine, don't you?
I have to go work out.
You're beautiful.
No, you're--
I'd have to go lift
some weight [INAUDIBLE]
and lose about 25 pounds stat.
But look at those eyes.
You have to admit, he
has beautiful eyes.
Adrienne is not
one of these people
that we're going to go out and
show a lot of public displays
of affection.
We're not going to sit there
and make out in front everybody,
but she can be very romantic.
To our first romantic
night together.
Please, I'll be
in bed in an hour.
Even though we
miss our-- oh, no,
she'll be in bed in an hour.
Or Paul will.
That could be good,
or that could be bad.
[LAUGHS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello?
Ken!
Hey.
Here we go again.
Thank you so much for
flying all the way
in from New York for this.
I mean, this just
helps us so much.
Thank you so much.
For you, anything.
CAMILLE: Thanks, thanks, thanks.
You look amazing, and, by
the way, happy birthday.
Don't I?
CAMILLE: [LAUGHS] Kelsey is in
New York doing the musical "La
Cage aux Folles."
And, of course, I'm going to
be moving our whole family
at some point to New York.
Let's do this.
Quick, quick.
My New York apartment is perfect
for my husband by himself,
but when I come in with
the kids and my staff,
it's going to be close quarters.
We're taking a three bedroom
apartment, we're sleeping 12.
Wow.
OK.
I don't know how,
but we're sleeping 12.
[LAUGHS] You're
working miracles.
Right, so every room has to
have a sleeping function in it.
I flew my designer,
Ken, in first class
just for the afternoon
to get a good handle
on what style we were going
for for this apartment.
One of the reasons that I
thought that we should meet
here is because this is the
instant gratification, which
is what we're looking for.
CAMILLE: Yeah.
So even though we're in
LA on La Cienega Boulevard,
this showroom is--
Also in New York.
KEN: --also in New York.
- By my house in New York, yes.
- By your house in New York.
We pick today.
Deliver tomorrow.
So you understand.
CAMILLE: It's called
speed designing, OK?
Speed designing.
CAMILLE: Living
in New York City,
it's great when you're single
and you're in your 20s,
but I think it's really
hard as you get older
and you have children.
You're a temporary
guest, got it?
OK, yes.
No, but in truth--
I'll be spending the rest
of my time in the Hamptons
in our home in the Hamptons.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, it's not bad.
Not bad isn't good enough.
OK.
No.
Love it.
KEN: Because I think
those lamps are fabulous.
Coral is fantastic.
I like this.
I think this is great.
This is fun.
It's not for that apartment.
I just got to find a new home.
That's my next project.
In LA alone, we
have three homes,
and we have two
homes in New York.
I have a house in
Hawaii, Colorado,
several properties on Hawaii.
I thought that this might work
around the dining room table.
Love it.
It also has sort of that
same kind of natural mode.
It's sort of taupey greyish.
Right.
CAMILLE: And when you have seven
to eight houses, of course,
you're always worried about
how much everything costs.
With most of my
homes, I don't skim.
We came.
We saw, and we conquered.
We got our TV cabinet.
We got a chandelier
for the dining room.
OK, great.
We have to squeeze
a lot of people
into our small apartment.
We'll see what happens.
Great.
Well, that was fantastic.
I think we got enough done.
I think we did great.
I think that was great.
OK, have a safe flight.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Look how cute
your pedicure looks.
I like the colour you chose.
BROOKE: Oh my
gosh, I'm starving.
Oh my gosh, I'm working on it.
LISA: Now if you drop
it, I swear I'll kill
you after getting him this far.
I had this bloody thing that
was like three foot tall,
and it's boiling
hot in Palm Desert.
And it turned out to be a
bit of a pain in the butt.
I can't wait to get
rid of this thing now.
I'm telling you, it's
too much responsibility.
Help.
Oh, oh.
[LAUGHS]
Happy Easter.
Happy Easter to you.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my god.
This incredible.
Oh my god.
That is gorgeous.
MAURICIO: [INAUDIBLE]
I was like, wow.
I've never seen
something like that.
That's heavy.
KYLE: She's got the gorgeous
car, the dog, and, you know,
everything's the
biggest and the best.
You know, everything
she does is like, ta-da.
[LAUGHS]
We're going eat, shall we?
SOPHIA: No one eat it.
Oh my god.
I want to just like--
I mean, that's
like a work of art.
LISA: Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE] he came down.
Isn't he sweet?
KYLE: Don't you just want
to eat his ear off, Sophia?
LISA: [INAUDIBLE]
OK, girls, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I love it.
Look.
It looks so good.
I was like, let's just do it.
What are you talking about?
No, me.
Mine!
MAURICIO: Take a
big bite out of it.
Mm.
Delicious.
MAURICIO: Yummy.
Mm.
KYLE: Kim, you would
grab that piece.
[LAUGHS] Although
Kim and I did clash
over the weekend over
silly little things,
by the end of the weekend,
we were back to normal.
But anything can
happen with Kim.
Let me see inside.
I'm curious, actually.
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
TAYLOR: Coming up.
Every time that there's
an issue with my kids,
you kind of get in
the middle of it and--
It's not that I get
in the middle of it.
They come to me.
And you want them
here with you--
KIM: I want them here
with me because--
--because you're co-dependent
with them, I think.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TAYLOR: Linda Thompson
is a songwriter.
She was Elvis
Presley's girlfriend.
She has two beautiful sons--
Brody and Brandon Jenner
from Bruce Jenner.
She grounds me, and
she gives me insight.
Your kids, like Kennedy, are
growing up with so much--
LINDA: Affluence,
--more than we had.
And I'm a little
torn because here I
am, like, you know,
wanting my child
to feel grateful and thankful.
And then I love to do
these over-the-top things
for her that I didn't
have when I was little.
My kids one day-- we
were in the Jacuzzi,
and Brandon and Brody said, so,
mum, what kind of pool did you
have when you were growing up?
And I went, pool?
Are you kidding?
And they said, oh, well,
that was the olden days,
so now everybody has a pool.
And I said, you
know, they don't.
Not everybody does have a pool.
She can't even fathom what
it's like to not have food.
Take her to Africa, right?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ADRIENNE: The photo shoot
was probably a little sexier
than what I'm used to doing.
I was a little hesitant.
Look at this beautiful
[INAUDIBLE],, isn't it?
STYLIST: Yes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOORBELL]
My husband follows
me everywhere.
Oh, yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
PAUL: When Adrienne told me that
a young, good-looking model was
going to be in the photo shoot
with her, you know, obviously,
I didn't like it.
Oh.
TONY: Oh, fantastic.
And the other male model?
- Shaw.
- Shaw.
What's your name?
Shaw.
S-H-A-W. "Shawshank Redemption."
Is that what you
tell everybody?
I'm Paul.
I'm Adrienne's husband.
Oh, great.
Well, you know--
I'm Adrienne's photo partner.
Oh.
Originally, they had me
doing this shoot, not you.
[LAUGHS] I'm the backup plan.
I'm the backup plan.
The problem is I have too
many meetings right now and--
SHAW: Oh, yeah?
Plus I'm built a
lot better than you.
It looks like it, you know?
Did work.
Especially with those
pants kind of a little loose
around that lower part there.
It's the European
style nowadays.
You know, show a little,
but not too much.
Just do me a favour.
Be a good boy.
You don't have to
worry about that.
Otherwise, you know,
there'll be a problem.
Keep em off my wife.
Let me look at you.
Wow, you look great.
Thanks.
PAUL: I'll see you later
on when you're done then.
ADRIENNE: Yeah.
All right, because I'm
going to go take off and go
do some stuff.
All righty.
SHAW: She's in good hands.
Bye.
Not literally in good hands.
Babe, don't I get a
little kiss goodbye?
You'll mess my lipstick up.
PAUL: Oh.
Just finished it.
Hey, you know, he's
got beautiful women day
in and day out
coming in his office,
so, you know, once in a while,
a very handsome man, you know,
giving me a little
attention, not bad.
All right, all right.
Stop.
Tell me when you're ready.
PHOTOGRAPHER: I'm ready.
ADRIENNE: The photo
shoot was a little edgy,
but then I thought,
you know what?
I'm just going to
have fun with it,
and I think it
looked pretty cool.
Everything for the
look looked gorgeous.
Of course.
Yes.
Oh, love that.
ADRIENNE: I'm used to doing
photo shoots with my family,
so this was a little different.
But, you know, I
had a good time.
PHOTOGRAPHER: That's a
good angle, actually.
Perfect.
That was good.
[LAUGHS]
That's for good luck.
PHOTOGRAPHER: [LAUGHS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
AMY: Hi, how are you?
Hi.
Hi, I'm Kim.
How are you?
- Hi, Kim.
- Kimberly.
- Hi, Kimberly.
- Brooke.
- I'm Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Whitney, the birthday girl.
Hi, happy birthday!
- Thank you.
- I'm Amy.
Nice to meet you.
Thank for coming
to Sonya Dakar.
We're back from
Palm Springs, and it
was Whitney's 20th birthday.
What Whitney wanted to
do was have a girl day,
so we picked Sonya Dakar Spa.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
I thought you were one of my--
[LAUGHS] I thought
you were one of my--
I saw blonde hair, and I
figured a family member.
Hi, I'm Kyle.
Hi, Kyle.
I'm Amy.
Nice to meet you.
We have a big beauty boot
camp day planned for you and--
So excited.
--we're going to start it
on the rooftop with a little--
Oh, great.
Yay.
Thank you.
So if you want to follow me,
I'll take you up to the roof.
OK, sounds good.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Whitney, look at this.
[INAUDIBLE]?
KYLE: Sure.
Delicious.
KYLE: I'm so hungry.
This looks really good.
So good.
Is all the food organic?
[INAUDIBLE]?
KYLE: Oh.
KIM: It's really good.
I have to--
KYLE: And this is,
like, French toast?
SERVER: Yes.
KYLE: Oh my gosh.
I have to have one of those.
KIM: Healthy.
Healthy.
KYLE: Yes, yes.
It's organic, so
it's good for me.
What treatments do
you want to do, girls?
Massage.
KYLE: Who needs a manicure?
I do, badly.
I do really bad.
Oh my gosh.
OK, I say we all
get mani and pedis.
I need a manicure really badly.
I don't even want to
show you my nails.
They're disgusting.
- I know.
KIM: [INAUDIBLE] tell you that.
KYLE: I've been trimming
my cuticles with my teeth.
[LAUGHS] Not my nails.
Just every now and then.
KIMBERLY: Classy.
I know.
Very classy.
I want this to be a beautiful,
beautiful day for you.
It is a beautiful day.
Good.
Cheers.
So this will be nice today.
This will be fun.
Is she happy today?
She's happy, but I need to
talk to you about something.
She told me last night that she
wants to go back to Houston.
And, I mean--
Why is she talking
about that now?
Whitney wants to go to
Houston for the summer.
Her father is there.
She has a tonne
of friends there.
Her boyfriend is from there.
It's her birthday, so I
don't want to make a big deal.
But I'd like your support on it.
About her not going?
Yeah.
Well, is it just
for the summer or--
Well, I think she--
If it's just for the
summer, why shouldn't she go?
Because I think it'll
end up being permanent.
Obviously, I don't want
her to move to Houston,
but if she's [INAUDIBLE] to
go for the summer, I think
she should go and have fun.
But this is a time right
now we all need to, like,
stick together.
KYLE: A lot of times Kim is
too dependent on her kids,
and we disagree
a lot about that.
I'd just like a little
support sometimes from you.
What do you mean?
I mean, I feel like--
I don't think-- I
feel like lately,
I haven't had your back
on a lot of things.
She doesn't seem to see
my side on those things.
I expect the support
of my family.
Kim--
KIM: I mean, I don't
want to bring up.
--if I had--
I don't want talk
this on her birthday.
I'm just going to
say though, I always
have your back if I agree.
I'm not going to pretend to
have your back if I don't agree.
But you don't--
But I don't want
to do this here.
--have my back with
anything with them lately.
Yes, I-- what are
you're talking about?
A lot of times when
her girls are upset,
they'll come to me because
she makes really bad choices.
Every time that there's
an issue with my kids,
you kind of get in the
middle of it, and--
It's not that I get
in the middle of it.
They come to me.
And if I--
I back them if I believe
in what they're saying.
If I believe in what
you're saying, I back you.
I don't-- I'm not
a bull [BLEEP]..
And you want her here
with you because--
KIM: I want her here
with me because--
--you're co-dependent
with them, I think.
KIM: OK.
Can we not do this here?
Can we not do this?
OK, well, then
when do you want
to do it because I feel like
you're always too busy lately?
It's her birthday.
Please.
I don't want to do this here.
You always do this.
Whenever we're having
fun, you have to like--
It's not that-- not I don't
this whenever we're having fun.
Please.
Before my mum passed away,
I promised her, don't worry.
I'm going to take care of my
whole family, not just Kim,
but her kids too, but she makes
it really, really hard for me.
I feel like she-- every
time we're having fun
or there's a party, she has
to bring up something negative
and bring me down.
I mean, I get she doesn't have
a husband and she doesn't have,
you know, grandma to talk
to you, but I'm like,
I'm trying to enjoy
my day with my kids.
And then I mean.
I don't mean to be
mean, but I get--
I know.
She's very-- too Dependent
now I mean, I really--
I feel like I'm going
to snap sometimes.
If I don't agree with Kim,
then Kim's going to mad at me.
It is a no win situation.
CAMILLE: Coming up.
KYLE: You just want your
kids with you because you
don't want to be by yourself.
That's not true.
KYLE: Whitney, do
you think there's
any truth to what I just said?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's Whitney's birthday,
and I want it to be fun.
It really bothers me when
Kim will take a fun occasion
and turn it into
something negative.
AMY: You ready to
start your treatment?
WHITNEY: Yes.
You're going to do the facial.
Can I be with her?
No, I don't want
you to be with me.
What?
This is--
Mum, I'm 20 today, so that
means you go in your own room.
And I go--
OK, love you.
She's not for a long time.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry.
I didn't neglect you, but I want
to give attention to your mum
just as well.
My sister.
Yeah, I mean, your sister.
Sorry!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: I heard you're
thinking of maybe going
to Houston for the summer.
Yeah, I think I need
a little break from LA.
I just miss my friends,
and I don't know.
But for sure come back, right?
Yes.
KYLE: For sure, for sure?
For sure.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry.
You're not the parent
here at this house.
I am.
This is my house.
And these are my kids,
and these are my rules.
KYLE: You just want your
kids with you because you
don't want to be by yourself.
KIM: That's not true.
KYLE: Whitney, do
you think there's
any truth to what I just said?
Yeah.
But I think everybody
gets the wrong idea.
Like, I think that you think
that I want you to stay here
because I want you here for me.
Well, I think a part of
you does, but that's fine.
KIM: But that's not it.
So what is it?
I just feel like
she should be a kid
and go and have fun
for a little bit
before she starts
school again as long
as she's being responsible.
I just don't like
the fact that you don't
support me in certain things.
KYLE: Oh my gosh.
KIM: And I don't
feel like you do.
I think loyalty
between sisters is
trusting that the other one will
be behind you no matter what.
KYLE: Whitney, I'm going to
send you a tweet right now.
Oh, that's fair.
KYLE: [LAUGHS] Sometimes
can you not find--
Are you sending messages
behind my back in front of me?
KYLE: No.
Can we just drop it for now?
It's my birthday, and I just
want to have a good time.
I'm sorry.
KYLE: It's not even about
letting her kids do something.
It's about her learning
to stand on her own.
Kim needs to learn
to stand on her own.
KIM: Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
You've got places to
store all those balls, Nick?
I got plenty of space.
When Kelsey is away, I
tend to hang out with guy
friends who are very athletic.
You made a promise
you're going to play
naked with your jockstrap.
LISA: Camille's dancing,
all that's missing
was a pole, really.
KYLE: You come near my
husband, I will [HISSES]..
Kyle was all, why would
they be interested in you
without Kelsey there?
Let's get the story straight.
I didn't say those things.
Don't throw jabs at me because
I will stand up for myself.
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
Your eyes still look good.
What else is good?
LISA: Cedric has lived with us
for a year, nine months, three
weeks, two days, and 14 hours.
That's it.
That's the only
thing that's good.
Is that it?
I grew up being
very independent.
Of course, with all
brothers, I had to be.
I'm really upset that
my husband is leaving
to go to New York for a year.
This is going to be hard.
OK, bye-bye!
I've been looking for
a bigger home for months,
but right now, I'm
really under the gun.
I don't want you
just to settle.
This is your home,
but, seriously, I
cannot keep looking like this.
I'm trying to help you find
a life outside your kids.
I feel like Kyle oversteps
her boundaries sometimes.
Why don't you just
do it on your own?
I've been doing it on
my own for a long time.
[THEME MUSIC]
TAYLOR: It may look like I
have it all, but I want more.
LISA: In Beverly Hills, it's who
you know, and I know everyone.
ADRIENNE: Money is what
I have, not who I am.
KIM: I was a child star, but
now my most important role
is being a mother.
KYLE: In a town full of phonies,
I'm not afraid to be me.
CAMILLE: It's time for me to
come out of my husband's shadow
and shine.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: Are you already
packed, Alexia?
ALEXIA: Yeah.
Hey, it's me.
Um, just sitting here packing.
You're coming, right?
It is Easter, and
it's a very important
holiday for my family.
We go to Palm
Springs every Easter.
We have a home there.
OK, and just so you know,
I invited Ken, and Lisa,
and their daughter, Pandora,
and her boyfriend, Jason,
just so you know.
They're going to stay at
a hotel down the street,
but we'll still be together.
We argue.
We make up.
That's how sisters are.
When we were little, you
know, we would get in fights
and, like, rip each
other's hair out,
and then we'd be, like, cuddling
and laying in bed together.
So maybe it's not that normal,
but it's normal for Kim and me.
Love you, bye.
She's coming?
Yes, she's coming.
It's Easter.
You guys made up?
Look, it wasn't like
it was a big deal.
I mean, you know, whatever.
We're fine.
MAURICIO: Right.
It's Easter, and, you know?
MAURICIO: You got to
do what you got to do.
Do what you got to do.
We'll go, and we'll have fun.
Right?
Right, girls?
Right.
MAURICIO: How many
pairs of shoes
are you taking to Palm Desert?
KYLE: Why do you
always ask me that?
Don't look.
What do you care?
[LAUGHS]
KYLE: What do you care?
There's nine pairs.
[LAUGHS] By the way, nine pairs.
[LAUGHS] Oh my god.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hold on.
Oh, oh.
What?
You hit the side of my door--
Don't worry, Paul.
--side of my door
with your purse.
Don't worry.
My marriage is a
little different.
They have this turkey chilli.
It's incredible.
I don't like turkey.
Paul and I bicker,
but when we bicker,
it's more in a fun-loving--
no, I don't want to say that.
It's not.
Is there any way to get just
a little small, small thing
of that turkey chilli,
which is incredible here.
I don't eat turkey.
Remember, I just said that.
Well, let me just taste it.
- I don't want any.
- Wait a minute.
You don't like turkey?
No.
Could I have a chopped salad--
WAITRESS: OK.
--with the turkey?
OK.
And a little bit of
the-- just a little
bit of the kosher salami too.
Can I have a little mix?
- Half and half?
- Yeah.
OK.
I mean, well,
just mostly turkey--
WAITRESS: Oh, you meant--
OK.
Mostly turkey.
Just add some salami on it.
And, um, how about some, um--
--you don't have
low-fat cheese, do you?
Oh, come on.
No, we don't.
Paul, come on.
[LAUGHS]
Just order.
I have to do a photo
shoot for the--
it's actually a
really cool magazine.
You've heard of "Curve," right?
An Australian magazine
called "Curve" wanted
me to do a photo
shoot, and they wanted
to showcase our Palms Hotel.
A little bit of lingerie,
La Perla, a little bit--
PAUL: Hold on.
You're going to do lingerie?
Tasteful, Paul.
Tasteful.
Is it an all-day photo shoot?
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to go that night,
the night before, and do
the shoot in the morning.
I have an idea.
Since we've had children, we
have not been out one night
alone.
I have to go to Vegas anyway.
I'm trying to see about
setting up a practise once
I have my licence out there.
Why don't we go
together, so I can
be with you on the airplane?
We'll have dinner.
We'll relax that night, spend
one night alone, get, like,
group massages in the
room, and a nice dinner,
relax, watch a movie.
And then the next day,
you do your photo shoot,
and I'll go care of my business.
He always wants to come
with me, and I don't know why.
He always says it's
business, but I
think he, for some reason,
likes to tag along.
Come on.
Let's bring the kids though.
Come on.
PAUL: No, come on.
It's one night.
I know.
We'll do it another time.
No, no, one night alone.
ADRIENNE: I promise
you I'll do--
No.
ADRIENNE: --another time.
- No.
- I want the kids to come.
PAUL: Adrienne, that's
what you always say.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We're going to be together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to be together.
Don't leave me hanging.
Can I take this
ring, and I ought to--
I ought to murder you.
[INAUDIBLE] Can we have
a cup to-go, please,
of turkey chilli?
ADRIENNE: I don't want any.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hasty, hi, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
- Good.
Great to see you.
I'm fine.
I needed a gift for
a friend, so I went
to my favourite chocolatier.
Everyone loves chocolate,
and I wanted to give
them the quintessential.
HASTY: I hope you like it.
Pink, of course.
LISA: Oh, of course.
Oh, they're so cute.
I met Christian
Louboutin last night,
and he actually wants
a picture of these.
That's so beautiful.
Red soles?
Perfect.
They're gorgeous.
HASTY: Well, I'm
happy you like it.
Have many people seen them?
No, they're just for you.
Oh, they're absolutely lovely.
Now, Hasty I'm going to,
like, an Easter brunch,
and I need something.
There's a lot of
children, and I can't
take 20 baskets
or something, so I
need something, like, amazing.
Kyle and Kim invited
me to the desert.
It just seemed like fun.
I didn't want to just show
up like with a little egg
in a box.
How about a
giant Easter bunny?
Yeah.
HASTY: Like--
Yeah, but--
HASTY: --three feet tall.
Could you do it?
HASTY: Oh, absolutely.
Anything for you.
Oh, I love you.
So this is custom,
custom, custom, as usual.
OK, OK.
I can draw you something.
Really long tall
ears, and it can be,
like, maybe having
a backpack on it.
OK, can you do it, like,
with candy flowers and roses,
and make it look really--
because, you know,
some of the kids are younger.
Yeah, I want it gorgeous.
Exquisite looking.
Absolutely.
LISA: Well, a bit
better than that.
HASTY: Flowers.
[LAUGHTER]
LISA: If it looks
like that, I'm scared.
[LAUGHTER]
I'll bring in, like,
an icebox or something.
HASTY: OK.
Let me have a look at
the shoes one more time.
HASTY: [LAUGHS]
- Can I take them with me now?
- Oh, sure.
Sure.
- OK, that would be great.
HASTY: I'll wrap them up.
- I love them.
Thank you so much.
Don't drop them.
You're making me nervous.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right, let's go, guys.
Right now.
BROOKE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have your keys?
KIM: Yes, ma'am.
I do.
Kim still has
not found a house,
and I've asked her to please,
let's take the weekend off.
It's Easter, and we're
going to take a break now.
We'll get back to house
hunting next week.
Chad, let's go, honey.
Do you have your bag?
KIM: OK.
KIMBERLY: Are we ready?
KIM: Yeah, I think so.
KIMBERLY: OK, you're up front.
KIM: We go to Palm
Springs every Easter.
We've been doing it since
we were little girls,
and now we take our children.
Having Ken and Lisa this
Easter is a little different.
Nothing personal against Lisa.
It's family time.
And we're off.
CHAD: Oh, god.
I don't think I
packed everything.
KIM: We always forget something.
Driving to the desert
with my kids is just fun.
What are you doing?
BROOKE: Stop being [BLEEP] rude.
Oh.
[GROWLS] We talk a lot.
We play games.
I brought cards.
Ugh.
It's our time.
Oh my gosh.
Remember when you guys were
little and you'd see a train,
and you'd get so excited.
BROOKE: No.
We are a train.
KIMBERLY: And we are your ducks.
No, we are each a caboose.
And then--
You always come up with
these weird analogies.
I do.
They don't make any sense.
And when one of our
cabooses has a problem,
all the other engineers
from the other cabooses
come to the other--
I thought we were the caboose.
No, we're each a
caboose in the train.
Literally, you're
trying to make--
like, talk about nothing.
Like, that's you, Kimberly.
There's--
There's Whitney.
CHAD: Where?
OK, you obviously
don't get it.
I'm so blessed to have my kids.
Do you want to be
my friend, Whitney?
What?
Want to be my friend, Chad?
CHAD: Yeah, I'd like
to be your friend.
WHITNEY: I'd rather
just be your daughter.
I'd like to be both.
And now the only thing
that really matters to me
is that my kids can
communicate with me.
[FLATULENCE]
KIMBERLY: Ew!
Oh my god.
What?
KIMBERLY: You have to
be kidding me right now.
CHAD: What?
WHITNEY: Chad.
Ugh!
CHAD: What?
So ew.
CHAD: What?
KIMBERLY: You have to warn us
so we can roll down the windows.
Are you, like, proud of it?
Coming up.
CAMILLE: I'm an individual,
and I'm not just in the shadow
of Kelsey Grammer.
Bye, sweetie.
KELSEY: Well done today.
OK, thank you.
I am my own person.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: Hi, guys.
Hi.
How are you?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
KYLE: Every year, we celebrate
Easter in Palm Desert.
The house was my
mum's vacation house,
and now it's a family house.
I've been scrubbing all
morning-- the floors.
I cannot get these windows
cleaned no matter what I do.
I'm not going to say you
guys didn't do a good job,
but, you know.
Brooke and Whitney had been
there the weekend before.
They usually straighten
up after themselves,
but this time, it
wasn't exactly perfect.
And I have Ken and Lisa coming,
so I was a little frustrated.
She was here until Monday.
I left.
- No, no, no.
I was the last one.
WHITNEY: If anyone--
KIM: No, I know.
WHITNEY: I Lysoled.
I vacuumed.
I know that.
I know.
Believe me, I knew you
were going to be offended.
It's not that, but it's
just they're white floors.
I don't think Kyle was
on her hands and knees
scrubbing with a sponge.
Whitney was definitely upset.
She felt attacked, I think.
I know you guys
are responsible.
KIM: I just think
we parent different.
What's up?
Hey, Kim.
You look cute.
Thanks.
So do you, handsome.
How you doing?
Hey.
What's up, love?
How was your drive?
Excellent.
OK, so you will
barbecue tonight?
Yeah.
KYLE: Kim and I will
go to the market.
MAURICIO: I mean, it's
3 o'clock already.
We got to get a move on.
No, they're not going to come
here until probably 5:30, 6:00,
I think.
I know.
You haven't even
gone to the market.
You have to prepare.
- I know.
I know.
Don't get me--
[INAUDIBLE].
- Don't make me nervous.
- [INAUDIBLE].
KYLE: I already know.
I know.
KIM: I think that for Kyle to
decide to make dinner for Ken
and Lisa on the day
that we drove down,
it just seemed like a lot of--
kind of a lot.
Kim, do want to make your
potatoes that you make that you
chop up like that, you know?
KIM: Yeah.
OK, we can do
that, the chicken--
Famous potatoes.
- OK.
- OK.
Let's go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I love this market.
KIM: I do too.
It's, like, a
glamorous market.
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, don't squish my bag.
Hey, well, I don't
want to hold it.
Well, that's too big and--
OK.
Kim and I seem to see
things differently
no matter what we do.
Uh-oh.
Where's our list?
Oh, OK.
[INAUDIBLE] you do
really need a list?
Yes.
It's cheese, crackers--
No, I need a list.
--chicken, barbecue--
Can you look at that?
No.
Oh, you can't see it.
Blind as a bat.
Cheese.
KIM: My kids don't like
all this kind of cheese.
Well, you're kids will eat it.
And, OK, hold on.
I thought we were going
to do barbecue sauce.
I don't-- who said teriyaki?
I hate barbecue sauce.
Ew, those are
not Mexican enough.
What about salsa?
We should have
done a fresh one.
Here it is.
No, I just buy.
This is the real deal.
KIM: I like the fake deal.
KYLE: I know because you--
I like the Americanized salsa.
--think Taco Bell
is Mexican food.
OK, hold on.
Even the way you say
it doesn't sound real.
It's salsa.
You act like you're Mexican.
You're not either.
I am bi--
It's salsa.
Salsa.
It's salsa.
So how many
bottles do you need?
We need to marinate
it, and then I need
to pour it all over my chicken.
I knew you were going to
make fun of my cheese balls.
Hey, wait.
I just thought of something.
Let me see what you got.
Oh, that disgusting [INAUDIBLE]?
That looks like something
you put on your front lawn
to keep the animals away.
KYLE: You should
use real butter.
OK, I don't need you to tell
me how to make my potatoes.
Then don't eat them.
You asked me to make them.
I know, but you
should use real butter.
KIM: We're just different cooks,
and we have different broths.
I hope I have enough butter.
Kim, we have a lot of butter.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CAMILLE: Hey, Nicole?
NICOLE: Yeah.
Kevin just got here.
So I'm going to run
down to Kelsey's office,
and we're going to
take this meeting.
OK.
CAMILLE: But I need
you to do me a favour.
If you can reach the
theatre and get Kelsey
on the line during
intermission, so we
can do a little notes session.
I know he's got only, like, 10,
15 minutes, but if he can get
on the line, that would
be really great to do
a conference call with him.
- Got it.
I'll call.
Try to work that out and let
me know what happens with it.
NICOLE: All right.
CAMILLE: I'm just a little
bit busier than some
of the other housewives.
I don't just run and
go shoe shopping.
I produce for my
husband's company called
Gramnet Productions
Incorporated,
and we're always in development.
We're always looking for new
scripts and reading for--
not for just for
TV and for film.
I'm kind of, like, an--
I'm, like, the idea person.
Like, I'll come up, and
I'm, like, the creative one.
So I'll come up with an idea.
And Kelsey and I will
basically write a treatment,
and we'll try to
pitch it to people.
We'll pitch it to writers.
And if we find a writer that
wants to jump on, that's great.
And then we pitch
it to a network.
So nice out today.
KEVIN: Hey.
Hey.
How you doing?
Hey, Kevin, thanks
for coming up.
Absolutely.
Just out here working
on my skin cancer.
[LAUGHS] Perfect.
So how did it go at Nick?
KEVIN: You know, good news,
bad news kind of a situation.
You know, when you're married
to one of the best actors
in Hollywood-- thank you--
and, you know, you just learn
so much from being a part of it.
Well, I like the good news part.
I'm not so sure about
the bad news part.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, look, they started
off the meeting with--
I'm going to be painfully
honest with you.
OK.
Just never a good
start to a meeting.
No.
Recently, I came
up with this idea.
It's based on my
daughter's relationship
with her nanny for a
show for Nickelodeon,
and we're in
development right now.
KEVIN: They love the writing.
Mm-hmm.
KEVIN: Love the jokes.
They love the characters.
They think the
tone is too adult.
OK.
KEVIN: Yeah, that
they want-- you
know, their target demographic
is 9 to 12-year-olds.
Mm-hmm.
KEVIN: And as we got
into it, eventually,
Tracy said, you know what?
Maybe this would be better for
Nick at Nite, which is their 18
to 49-year-old demographic.
Well, you know.
That's not that bad.
I mean, I wouldn't
take that as a--
I take that as a compliment
for your writing.
KEVIN: Well, yeah, exactly.
I mean, it's a testament
to your writing that it's--
It's the nicest back-handed
compliment I ever got.
You're writing it too real.
CAMILLE: [LAUGHS]
You're writing too real.
Its too good.
It's too good for us.
I think I'm pretty
good at giving notes.
When they were looking
for the lead for "Medium,"
and I said there's this
actress, Patricia Arquette.
And I said, oh, Kelsey,
she's brilliant,
so I help my husband make
those kind of decisions.
So talk about
this with Kelsey.
Yeah.
I got a call Nick
on Friday to tell them
what we're planning on doing.
CAMILLE: I'm an individual,
and I'm not just in the shadow
of Kelsey Grammer.
I am my own person.
So, you know, I'm going
to give Kelsey all
this information and I can't--
Great.
I'll start working
on the new outline,
and we'll get going on that.
And let's keep pushing forward.
Fantastic.
Yeah, I'm excited.
All right, terrific.
Fantastic.
Perfect, Kevin.
Thanks for coming out here.
I know this is a bit
of a drive for you.
Oh, yeah, you know--
- Yeah, yeah.
- --it gets me out of the house.
[INAUDIBLE]
- OK.
[LAUGHS] It's such a horrible
place to come to, you know,
Malibu.
- Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Poor me.
All right, say hi
to Kelsey for me.
OK, I will.
I will.
Take care.
I'll see you soon.
Hello?
KELSEY: Hello.
Is Kevin there?
No, he just left.
You just missed him
by, like, five minutes.
It's like too bad.
Just missed him.
KELSEY: Oh, OK.
Tracy's thinking
maybe more Nick at Nite.
KELSEY: Oh, OK.
Well, I mean, that
sounds interesting.
I mean, fine.
So I have to go do my show now.
Oh, god.
How did it go?
How did the first half go?
KELSEY: [INAUDIBLE].
CAMILLE: I can't
wait to see the show.
I love you, and I miss you.
I can't wait to see it.
OK.
KELSEY: Yeah, same here, honey.
OK, bye, sweetie.
KELSEY: OK, well done today.
OK, thank you.
KELSEY: All right, I'll
talk to you later, babe.
Talk to you later.
Bye-bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TAYLOR: Hold on.
Dolce and Gabana catastrophe.
Honey, you're dropping couture.
RUSSELL: OK, please be gentle.
Keeping up with the
lifestyle in Beverly Hills
requires an extraordinary
amount of money,
but I think the
conveniences of being
able to have people
do things for you is
really what money means to me.
JULIE: Leave the wallet.
TAYLOR: I have a stylist,
Julie, who comes to the house,
and that's one of the
perks of being married
to someone like Russell.
Let me show you what I brought
you to show off your leggies.
- Yeah.
- This is Donna Karan.
I am loving the
idea of putting
this tank with these shorts.
JULIE: Me too.
I think that's perfect.
This, we can just wear casual.
Isn't that cute?
Yeah, that's cute.
JULIE: Stella McCartney.
Ah, good for her.
Is this going to
cover up my boom boom?
JULIE: Let me see.
TAYLOR: You know, my
little girl doesn't
like my boom boom showing.
JULIE: Right, you don't
want your cheeks showing.
TAYLOR: Money buys convenience.
I don't really hesitate
when I need to buy shoes.
You know, I don't really
have to think twice.
This is amazing.
That would-- I don't
think it'd be too
much because this is the back.
So when you take the
jacket off, really,
you'd see all the detail, but--
TAYLOR: And I like how the
size of the rhinestones
are comparable.
Like, you know,
they kind of blend.
This Chanel is so you.
Oh, I love this.
JULIE: Isn't that to die?
And I'd throw it off with,
like, a beautiful white handbag.
You know, the Chanel
handbag that you
got last year or last summer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my.
OK, put that in the--
Not really.
--crazy Julie pile.
[LAUGHS]
Do you want me to burn it?
I can throw it out the window.
I love it.
[LAUGHS] No.
- But seriously, like--
- I love it, I just--
- --bye.
- --I'm not that brave.
You don't like it.
I don't want you
to even try it on.
Forget it.
TAYLOR: Living in Beverly
Hills, it's extremely expensive
and so someone has
to pay the bills.
Thankfully, Russell
makes a great living.
Uh-oh.
You better hide the tags, or
Russell is going to kill me.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, don't look
at the price tag.
Don't look at the price.
Say, isn't your
birthday coming up?
I mean--
[LAUGHS]
LISA: Coming up.
Oh, what are
you trying to say?
You're skinnier, and I'm not?
Oh, do you see that face?
Yeah.
You may be skinnier, however--
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, no, wait!
[INAUDIBLE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MAURICIO: Thank god
everybody's working in here.
Honey, why are you putting
that orange juice right
where everything looks pretty?
Why do you always do that?
I'm going to mix the orange
juice into a margarita.
KYLE: You need to find
another area to mix.
Every time I make
everything cleaned up,
people put junk on there.
It's really stressful
cooking for a lot of people,
and I think I felt a little
more stress just because Ken
and Lisa, you know,
having the restaurants
and when you go to
their house and have
like pink risotto for lunch.
And we're like,
um, a baked potato.
Take it easy for a second.
Relax, OK?
Hi.
Hello.
Hi, darling.
How are you?
Oh, look at this.
Of course, it would
be a pink one.
How are you?
Oh, he's so sweet.
KEN: He's a real man.
MAURICIO: It's a lilac.
Everything good?
Yes, it's great.
KIM: When in these
situations, I know
I have to work harder
in being more social,
but I'm not all
that comfortable.
LISA: Why are you boiling these?
MAURICIO: Girls, where
did you put them?
Kim's famous potatoes.
Huh?
Come on in, Chef Lisa,
because that's what he does.
Kim's famous potatoes.
KYLE: Wait, Kim--
Very well-organised,
these two.
KYLE: Are you making fun?
KEN: Oh, no, I
wasn't making fun.
KYLE: We don't own restaurants.
Wait, can I just tell you--
I love this.
LISA: No, he's taking the piss.
We didn't, you know--
That's a good idea.
Well, gee, we just didn't
have our available vela
blanca chef to prepare a meal.
Let's see you hands on
helping out except carrying
a little poodle on your arm.
Let me get my stuff
out of the way,
so Ken won't make
fun of me anymore.
Kyle is fabulous.
I adore her.
I don't know Kim
very well, but I
feel that kind of when
you get close to her,
she's a little defensive.
KIM: [INAUDIBLE]
than a restaurant.
LISA: Heat up some butter now.
KYLE: I'm getting it.
It's not really butter
though because Kim chose--
how much?
A lot, Lisa, or a little?
LISA: Oh, just put
the whole thing in.
You can afford it.
Go on.
Like that?
That's not butter.
Kim bought this.
I told her it's not butter.
She didn't listen to me.
I can't believe it.
[LAUGHS]
KIM: I bought it.
KYLE: Lisa, don't listen.
You buy fake cheese things.
KYLE: No, it's organic.
KIM: Fake cheese puffs.
You think organic is fake.
We're not arguing.
We're not arguing about butter.
OK, I can't even have--
wait, your Cheerios are fake.
You're cheese puffs--
They're healthy.
They're healthier.
Really?
KYLE: I think with Kim and I,
there are a lot of underlying
issues that we haven't
dealt with over the years,
so sometimes the littlest
thing can set me off.
Oh, what are you trying to say?
You're skinnier, and I'm not?
Did you see that face?
Yeah.
Because I buy
organic, she makes fun.
She's trying to say, well, look,
I'm skinny, and you're not.
I didn't-- did I say that?
Yeah.
Oh my god!
Basically.
You did have the-- mm-hmm.
Do you know what?
I can't wait to get a couple
of my girlfriends here.
I'm going to have to make--
- I'm sorry.
I'm telling you right now--
KIM: --some serious
girlfriends [INAUDIBLE]..
--you may be skinnier.
However--
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, no, wait!
[INAUDIBLE]
What are you going to say?
To be in the middle of
those two, dangerous ground
because if you agree
with either one of them,
then they'll bite your head off.
Oh, this is too stressful.
OK, where is Kim's potatoes?
MAURICIO: They're done.
They're right here.
I want to eat.
That's what I want to do.
This is too much pressure.
Too many people.
No, mama.
Mommy's busy,
look, being the baby.
Mommy's a baby.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WOMAN: Hi, Mrs. Maloof.
Hello.
WOMAN: How are you?
Nice to see you.
Right this way, please.
Thank you.
How you doing?
- Good.
Is Paul here?
Yes, he is.
ADRIENNE: OK.
WOMAN: Right this way.
Hey, look it.
[LAUGHS]
Paul really wanted me
not to take the kids,
which, of course, I
wanted to take the kids.
But I gave in this time only
because my kids were in school.
Hi.
How are you?
Beautiful as always.
Me first.
[LAUGHTER]
It's, like, a fake kiss.
Tell me about
your shoot tomorrow.
It's for "Curve"
magazine, which
is an international
lifestyle magazine.
"Curve" is for the Palms.
They're going to feature
one of our theme houses.
It's a little bit of Dolce and
Gabana, Versace, [INAUDIBLE],,
designer ball gowns.
Trust me, it's cool.
Are you excited?
Yeah, it'll be fun.
So are you doing the photo
shoot alone or with someone
else?
They have this male model.
Very handsome.
Very nice.
PAUL: Wait a minute.
What'd you say?
You heard.
No, because I
was talking to her.
You heard.
Did you say male model?
See, he heard.
TONY: You did.
What?
No, he's a very handsome,
very sweet, nice, beautiful
male model.
Don't worry, Paul.
He's beautiful.
What does that mean?
Beautiful?
Not as beautiful as you.
PAUL: You never
call me beautiful.
You don't even call
me handsome anymore.
But I call you, don't I?
[LAUGHTER]
Paul is the type of
person that, you know,
you feel a kindred spirit
with because he just seems
like he's always on your side.
Why can't they use me?
[LAUGHS]
You want people to buy
the magazine, don't you?
I have to go work out.
You're beautiful.
No, you're--
I'd have to go lift
some weight [INAUDIBLE]
and lose about 25 pounds stat.
But look at those eyes.
You have to admit, he
has beautiful eyes.
Adrienne is not
one of these people
that we're going to go out and
show a lot of public displays
of affection.
We're not going to sit there
and make out in front everybody,
but she can be very romantic.
To our first romantic
night together.
Please, I'll be
in bed in an hour.
Even though we
miss our-- oh, no,
she'll be in bed in an hour.
Or Paul will.
That could be good,
or that could be bad.
[LAUGHS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello?
Ken!
Hey.
Here we go again.
Thank you so much for
flying all the way
in from New York for this.
I mean, this just
helps us so much.
Thank you so much.
For you, anything.
CAMILLE: Thanks, thanks, thanks.
You look amazing, and, by
the way, happy birthday.
Don't I?
CAMILLE: [LAUGHS] Kelsey is in
New York doing the musical "La
Cage aux Folles."
And, of course, I'm going to
be moving our whole family
at some point to New York.
Let's do this.
Quick, quick.
My New York apartment is perfect
for my husband by himself,
but when I come in with
the kids and my staff,
it's going to be close quarters.
We're taking a three bedroom
apartment, we're sleeping 12.
Wow.
OK.
I don't know how,
but we're sleeping 12.
[LAUGHS] You're
working miracles.
Right, so every room has to
have a sleeping function in it.
I flew my designer,
Ken, in first class
just for the afternoon
to get a good handle
on what style we were going
for for this apartment.
One of the reasons that I
thought that we should meet
here is because this is the
instant gratification, which
is what we're looking for.
CAMILLE: Yeah.
So even though we're in
LA on La Cienega Boulevard,
this showroom is--
Also in New York.
KEN: --also in New York.
- By my house in New York, yes.
- By your house in New York.
We pick today.
Deliver tomorrow.
So you understand.
CAMILLE: It's called
speed designing, OK?
Speed designing.
CAMILLE: Living
in New York City,
it's great when you're single
and you're in your 20s,
but I think it's really
hard as you get older
and you have children.
You're a temporary
guest, got it?
OK, yes.
No, but in truth--
I'll be spending the rest
of my time in the Hamptons
in our home in the Hamptons.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, it's not bad.
Not bad isn't good enough.
OK.
No.
Love it.
KEN: Because I think
those lamps are fabulous.
Coral is fantastic.
I like this.
I think this is great.
This is fun.
It's not for that apartment.
I just got to find a new home.
That's my next project.
In LA alone, we
have three homes,
and we have two
homes in New York.
I have a house in
Hawaii, Colorado,
several properties on Hawaii.
I thought that this might work
around the dining room table.
Love it.
It also has sort of that
same kind of natural mode.
It's sort of taupey greyish.
Right.
CAMILLE: And when you have seven
to eight houses, of course,
you're always worried about
how much everything costs.
With most of my
homes, I don't skim.
We came.
We saw, and we conquered.
We got our TV cabinet.
We got a chandelier
for the dining room.
OK, great.
We have to squeeze
a lot of people
into our small apartment.
We'll see what happens.
Great.
Well, that was fantastic.
I think we got enough done.
I think we did great.
I think that was great.
OK, have a safe flight.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Look how cute
your pedicure looks.
I like the colour you chose.
BROOKE: Oh my
gosh, I'm starving.
Oh my gosh, I'm working on it.
LISA: Now if you drop
it, I swear I'll kill
you after getting him this far.
I had this bloody thing that
was like three foot tall,
and it's boiling
hot in Palm Desert.
And it turned out to be a
bit of a pain in the butt.
I can't wait to get
rid of this thing now.
I'm telling you, it's
too much responsibility.
Help.
Oh, oh.
[LAUGHS]
Happy Easter.
Happy Easter to you.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my god.
This incredible.
Oh my god.
That is gorgeous.
MAURICIO: [INAUDIBLE]
I was like, wow.
I've never seen
something like that.
That's heavy.
KYLE: She's got the gorgeous
car, the dog, and, you know,
everything's the
biggest and the best.
You know, everything
she does is like, ta-da.
[LAUGHS]
We're going eat, shall we?
SOPHIA: No one eat it.
Oh my god.
I want to just like--
I mean, that's
like a work of art.
LISA: Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE] he came down.
Isn't he sweet?
KYLE: Don't you just want
to eat his ear off, Sophia?
LISA: [INAUDIBLE]
OK, girls, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I love it.
Look.
It looks so good.
I was like, let's just do it.
What are you talking about?
No, me.
Mine!
MAURICIO: Take a
big bite out of it.
Mm.
Delicious.
MAURICIO: Yummy.
Mm.
KYLE: Kim, you would
grab that piece.
[LAUGHS] Although
Kim and I did clash
over the weekend over
silly little things,
by the end of the weekend,
we were back to normal.
But anything can
happen with Kim.
Let me see inside.
I'm curious, actually.
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
TAYLOR: Coming up.
Every time that there's
an issue with my kids,
you kind of get in
the middle of it and--
It's not that I get
in the middle of it.
They come to me.
And you want them
here with you--
KIM: I want them here
with me because--
--because you're co-dependent
with them, I think.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TAYLOR: Linda Thompson
is a songwriter.
She was Elvis
Presley's girlfriend.
She has two beautiful sons--
Brody and Brandon Jenner
from Bruce Jenner.
She grounds me, and
she gives me insight.
Your kids, like Kennedy, are
growing up with so much--
LINDA: Affluence,
--more than we had.
And I'm a little
torn because here I
am, like, you know,
wanting my child
to feel grateful and thankful.
And then I love to do
these over-the-top things
for her that I didn't
have when I was little.
My kids one day-- we
were in the Jacuzzi,
and Brandon and Brody said, so,
mum, what kind of pool did you
have when you were growing up?
And I went, pool?
Are you kidding?
And they said, oh, well,
that was the olden days,
so now everybody has a pool.
And I said, you
know, they don't.
Not everybody does have a pool.
She can't even fathom what
it's like to not have food.
Take her to Africa, right?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ADRIENNE: The photo shoot
was probably a little sexier
than what I'm used to doing.
I was a little hesitant.
Look at this beautiful
[INAUDIBLE],, isn't it?
STYLIST: Yes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOORBELL]
My husband follows
me everywhere.
Oh, yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
PAUL: When Adrienne told me that
a young, good-looking model was
going to be in the photo shoot
with her, you know, obviously,
I didn't like it.
Oh.
TONY: Oh, fantastic.
And the other male model?
- Shaw.
- Shaw.
What's your name?
Shaw.
S-H-A-W. "Shawshank Redemption."
Is that what you
tell everybody?
I'm Paul.
I'm Adrienne's husband.
Oh, great.
Well, you know--
I'm Adrienne's photo partner.
Oh.
Originally, they had me
doing this shoot, not you.
[LAUGHS] I'm the backup plan.
I'm the backup plan.
The problem is I have too
many meetings right now and--
SHAW: Oh, yeah?
Plus I'm built a
lot better than you.
It looks like it, you know?
Did work.
Especially with those
pants kind of a little loose
around that lower part there.
It's the European
style nowadays.
You know, show a little,
but not too much.
Just do me a favour.
Be a good boy.
You don't have to
worry about that.
Otherwise, you know,
there'll be a problem.
Keep em off my wife.
Let me look at you.
Wow, you look great.
Thanks.
PAUL: I'll see you later
on when you're done then.
ADRIENNE: Yeah.
All right, because I'm
going to go take off and go
do some stuff.
All righty.
SHAW: She's in good hands.
Bye.
Not literally in good hands.
Babe, don't I get a
little kiss goodbye?
You'll mess my lipstick up.
PAUL: Oh.
Just finished it.
Hey, you know, he's
got beautiful women day
in and day out
coming in his office,
so, you know, once in a while,
a very handsome man, you know,
giving me a little
attention, not bad.
All right, all right.
Stop.
Tell me when you're ready.
PHOTOGRAPHER: I'm ready.
ADRIENNE: The photo
shoot was a little edgy,
but then I thought,
you know what?
I'm just going to
have fun with it,
and I think it
looked pretty cool.
Everything for the
look looked gorgeous.
Of course.
Yes.
Oh, love that.
ADRIENNE: I'm used to doing
photo shoots with my family,
so this was a little different.
But, you know, I
had a good time.
PHOTOGRAPHER: That's a
good angle, actually.
Perfect.
That was good.
[LAUGHS]
That's for good luck.
PHOTOGRAPHER: [LAUGHS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
AMY: Hi, how are you?
Hi.
Hi, I'm Kim.
How are you?
- Hi, Kim.
- Kimberly.
- Hi, Kimberly.
- Brooke.
- I'm Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Whitney, the birthday girl.
Hi, happy birthday!
- Thank you.
- I'm Amy.
Nice to meet you.
Thank for coming
to Sonya Dakar.
We're back from
Palm Springs, and it
was Whitney's 20th birthday.
What Whitney wanted to
do was have a girl day,
so we picked Sonya Dakar Spa.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
I thought you were one of my--
[LAUGHS] I thought
you were one of my--
I saw blonde hair, and I
figured a family member.
Hi, I'm Kyle.
Hi, Kyle.
I'm Amy.
Nice to meet you.
We have a big beauty boot
camp day planned for you and--
So excited.
--we're going to start it
on the rooftop with a little--
Oh, great.
Yay.
Thank you.
So if you want to follow me,
I'll take you up to the roof.
OK, sounds good.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Whitney, look at this.
[INAUDIBLE]?
KYLE: Sure.
Delicious.
KYLE: I'm so hungry.
This looks really good.
So good.
Is all the food organic?
[INAUDIBLE]?
KYLE: Oh.
KIM: It's really good.
I have to--
KYLE: And this is,
like, French toast?
SERVER: Yes.
KYLE: Oh my gosh.
I have to have one of those.
KIM: Healthy.
Healthy.
KYLE: Yes, yes.
It's organic, so
it's good for me.
What treatments do
you want to do, girls?
Massage.
KYLE: Who needs a manicure?
I do, badly.
I do really bad.
Oh my gosh.
OK, I say we all
get mani and pedis.
I need a manicure really badly.
I don't even want to
show you my nails.
They're disgusting.
- I know.
KIM: [INAUDIBLE] tell you that.
KYLE: I've been trimming
my cuticles with my teeth.
[LAUGHS] Not my nails.
Just every now and then.
KIMBERLY: Classy.
I know.
Very classy.
I want this to be a beautiful,
beautiful day for you.
It is a beautiful day.
Good.
Cheers.
So this will be nice today.
This will be fun.
Is she happy today?
She's happy, but I need to
talk to you about something.
She told me last night that she
wants to go back to Houston.
And, I mean--
Why is she talking
about that now?
Whitney wants to go to
Houston for the summer.
Her father is there.
She has a tonne
of friends there.
Her boyfriend is from there.
It's her birthday, so I
don't want to make a big deal.
But I'd like your support on it.
About her not going?
Yeah.
Well, is it just
for the summer or--
Well, I think she--
If it's just for the
summer, why shouldn't she go?
Because I think it'll
end up being permanent.
Obviously, I don't want
her to move to Houston,
but if she's [INAUDIBLE] to
go for the summer, I think
she should go and have fun.
But this is a time right
now we all need to, like,
stick together.
KYLE: A lot of times Kim is
too dependent on her kids,
and we disagree
a lot about that.
I'd just like a little
support sometimes from you.
What do you mean?
I mean, I feel like--
I don't think-- I
feel like lately,
I haven't had your back
on a lot of things.
She doesn't seem to see
my side on those things.
I expect the support
of my family.
Kim--
KIM: I mean, I don't
want to bring up.
--if I had--
I don't want talk
this on her birthday.
I'm just going to
say though, I always
have your back if I agree.
I'm not going to pretend to
have your back if I don't agree.
But you don't--
But I don't want
to do this here.
--have my back with
anything with them lately.
Yes, I-- what are
you're talking about?
A lot of times when
her girls are upset,
they'll come to me because
she makes really bad choices.
Every time that there's
an issue with my kids,
you kind of get in the
middle of it, and--
It's not that I get
in the middle of it.
They come to me.
And if I--
I back them if I believe
in what they're saying.
If I believe in what
you're saying, I back you.
I don't-- I'm not
a bull [BLEEP]..
And you want her here
with you because--
KIM: I want her here
with me because--
--you're co-dependent
with them, I think.
KIM: OK.
Can we not do this here?
Can we not do this?
OK, well, then
when do you want
to do it because I feel like
you're always too busy lately?
It's her birthday.
Please.
I don't want to do this here.
You always do this.
Whenever we're having
fun, you have to like--
It's not that-- not I don't
this whenever we're having fun.
Please.
Before my mum passed away,
I promised her, don't worry.
I'm going to take care of my
whole family, not just Kim,
but her kids too, but she makes
it really, really hard for me.
I feel like she-- every
time we're having fun
or there's a party, she has
to bring up something negative
and bring me down.
I mean, I get she doesn't have
a husband and she doesn't have,
you know, grandma to talk
to you, but I'm like,
I'm trying to enjoy
my day with my kids.
And then I mean.
I don't mean to be
mean, but I get--
I know.
She's very-- too Dependent
now I mean, I really--
I feel like I'm going
to snap sometimes.
If I don't agree with Kim,
then Kim's going to mad at me.
It is a no win situation.
CAMILLE: Coming up.
KYLE: You just want your
kids with you because you
don't want to be by yourself.
That's not true.
KYLE: Whitney, do
you think there's
any truth to what I just said?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's Whitney's birthday,
and I want it to be fun.
It really bothers me when
Kim will take a fun occasion
and turn it into
something negative.
AMY: You ready to
start your treatment?
WHITNEY: Yes.
You're going to do the facial.
Can I be with her?
No, I don't want
you to be with me.
What?
This is--
Mum, I'm 20 today, so that
means you go in your own room.
And I go--
OK, love you.
She's not for a long time.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry.
I didn't neglect you, but I want
to give attention to your mum
just as well.
My sister.
Yeah, I mean, your sister.
Sorry!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
KYLE: I heard you're
thinking of maybe going
to Houston for the summer.
Yeah, I think I need
a little break from LA.
I just miss my friends,
and I don't know.
But for sure come back, right?
Yes.
KYLE: For sure, for sure?
For sure.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry.
You're not the parent
here at this house.
I am.
This is my house.
And these are my kids,
and these are my rules.
KYLE: You just want your
kids with you because you
don't want to be by yourself.
KIM: That's not true.
KYLE: Whitney, do
you think there's
any truth to what I just said?
Yeah.
But I think everybody
gets the wrong idea.
Like, I think that you think
that I want you to stay here
because I want you here for me.
Well, I think a part of
you does, but that's fine.
KIM: But that's not it.
So what is it?
I just feel like
she should be a kid
and go and have fun
for a little bit
before she starts
school again as long
as she's being responsible.
I just don't like
the fact that you don't
support me in certain things.
KYLE: Oh my gosh.
KIM: And I don't
feel like you do.
I think loyalty
between sisters is
trusting that the other one will
be behind you no matter what.
KYLE: Whitney, I'm going to
send you a tweet right now.
Oh, that's fair.
KYLE: [LAUGHS] Sometimes
can you not find--
Are you sending messages
behind my back in front of me?
KYLE: No.
Can we just drop it for now?
It's my birthday, and I just
want to have a good time.
I'm sorry.
KYLE: It's not even about
letting her kids do something.
It's about her learning
to stand on her own.
Kim needs to learn
to stand on her own.
KIM: Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
You've got places to
store all those balls, Nick?
I got plenty of space.
When Kelsey is away, I
tend to hang out with guy
friends who are very athletic.
You made a promise
you're going to play
naked with your jockstrap.
LISA: Camille's dancing,
all that's missing
was a pole, really.
KYLE: You come near my
husband, I will [HISSES]..
Kyle was all, why would
they be interested in you
without Kelsey there?
Let's get the story straight.
I didn't say those things.
Don't throw jabs at me because
I will stand up for myself.