The Rat Patrol (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 25 - The Wild Goose Raid - full transcript
Troy fears that the Germans know of a vital conference.
Kraut courier.
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
Sarge!
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
- Did you get him?
- Yeah, I got him.
But I don't know if it was before
or after he delivered his dispatch.
[ Sighs ]
[ Bleating ]
[ Bell Ringing ]
Find the motor pool.
Get these jeeps serviced.
Right, Sarge.
[ Knocking ] Come in.
Sergeants Troy and Moffitt
reporting as ordered, sir.
At ease, men.
Well, from what I hear, you and your
men really deserve this little vacation.
With the major's permission,
our orders are to
head Security for the
conference between
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Relax, Sergeant. You can't
win the war single-handedly.
There's no security
problem here.
Then how do you explain
the fact that we saw
a German courier
steaming out of this area?
Well, that's no
reason to jump to the
assumption there's
been a breach of security.
Don't you think
it's strange, sir?
Twenty-four hours before the conference,
we spotted a German courier in this area.
[ Blows ] What are you
driving at, Sergeant?
Sir, I think you should
postpone this conference.
Your orders are to head Security for this
conference, Sergeant, not dictate policy.
Maybe I oughta clear the air.
Having you here wasn't my idea.
Command seems to feel that
while you're refueling here...
and getting supplies
and what have you, it'd
be a good idea to
have you head Security.
Something about knowing
the enemy firsthand.
Frankly, I just as soon
you, uh, be on your way.
[ Smacks Lips ] Yes, sir.
But while you're here,
you'd be wise to tread
lightly, and not step
on anybody's toes...
Especially mine.
All right, Major.
I'll be frank also.
Security... That's not our job.
But we've been ordered to do it,
even if it means stepping
on someone's toes.
- That a threat, Sergeant?
- No, sir.
Just clearing the air.
That'll be all, men.
Major, does anyone else
know about this conference?
Chiefs of staff,
British and American.
And the pilot that's
bringing them in. That's all.
That's all?
That is all, Sergeant.
[ Door Slams ]
Sergeant Roberts.
Sir? I want you to keep an eye
on that Sergeant Troy for me.
Let me know what he's up to.
I'm not gonna have my record
blemished by some paranoid sergeant...
who's bucking for
lieutenant's bars. Yes, sir.
And, uh, needless to say,
don't let this go any further.
I understand, sir.
How's it going? Oh,
let's face it, Sarge.
That transmission's almost
had it. What about the radiator?
Oh, it needed a drink,
but, uh, who doesn't?
Sergeant Troy?
- Yeah.
- Oh, hi. I'm Sergeant Roberts.
Major Reese asked me to
help you guys get billeting.
All set. Ready to roll,
Sarge. I don't envy
you going back out
in that boiling desert.
Keeps us off the street.
Well, every time the
temperature gets
over 40, I start to sweat.
Just like the army. They
ship you to the desert.
Typical snafu. They should
have put me in the ski troops.
Are you a good skier?
Every year, I was the
first one out at Sun Valley.
Of course, all I had to
do was walk right out
my front door. I was
born there in Nevada.
Jeep's ready. What
next? Time for a beer?
- I'd like to find a barber.
- Well, I'd better
check out the quarters.
Come on. I'll show you
the way. See you later.
Roberts, the major
wants you on the double.
Okay, tell him I'll be right there.
Think you can find your way?
Yeah, just point me in the
right direction. Come on.
Go right down the alley.
When you come out,
turn left, about
three-quarters of a block.
All right. Thanks.
[ Man Shouting In
Foreign Language ]
Come on! Who set you
on my back? Please.
Come on! I'm waiting!
Effendi, they will kill me.
They're gonna
have to wait in line.
They do not want you here
tomorrow... when the airplane arrives.
- Who are they?
- The Germans.
They plan to take the airstrip
by surprise, kidnap the men.
Their armored cars will
rendezvous in the desert... tonight.
Where?
The Wadi of El
Tzibur... about 40 miles.
You'd better take
him to the guardhouse.
Tell the major we'll
have to take off,
but we'll be back
in plenty of time.
And, Roberts, thanks.
It is good, effendi.
[ Chuckles ]
My brother... He escape.
- Oh, yeah. He got away.
- [ Speaking Foreign Language ] Good. Good.
[ Chuckles ]
Hassan?
[ Chuckles ] Don't
you want your knife?
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Door Opens ]
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
Morning, sir. Good
morning, Sergeant. Ready?
I was just giving the room a
last-minute check personally.
Oh, good. Everything in
order? Clean as a whistle.
Well, let's get cracking.
Plane's due at 0900.
Yes, sir.
If they were out here,
we'd have found them.
Last night or this morning, we
would have found some trace of them.
Troy, it's after 7:00.
Take us over an hour
to get back to town.
Somebody wanted us out here.
They must be
going to hit in town.
Then we can't hold
radio silence any longer.
No. Let's go.
Break radio silence!
Get me Major Reese!
Red Dog, this is Black Fox.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox. Over.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox. Over.
Red Dog, this is...
It's dead.
Try ours.
Red Dog. Come in, Red Dog.
Red Dog. Come in, Red Dog.
This is Black Fox. Come in.
Red Dog. Come in, Red
Dog. This is Black Fox.
Nothing.
Sarge, the wire's been cut.
- The Arab?
- No. He was under guard.
- There was no one else there except...
- Except Roberts.
He could have done it while I
was out rounding you guys up.
- I don't think so, Troy.
- Nevada.
What?
Skip it. All right.
Let's move out.
[ Crowd Chattering ]
Are you all right,
sir? Yes, I'm fine.
Sergeant Roberts, you all right?
Yes, sir. Thanks.
[ Scoffs ] Forget it, sir.
Find out who he is. Yes, sir.
Let's go.
Major Reese? You
just missed him.
He left with Sergeant Roberts
to go to the airstrip. When?
- Couldn't have been
more than 20 minutes ago.
- What do you think?
I'm not sure.
Hitch, find the Arab and get him
back here as soon as you can.
Right, Sarge. Let's go.
Sir, they had to change course
because of enemy aerial activity.
The E.T.A. is now 0950.
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
Hello, Roberts.
- What's going on here, Sergeant?
- We were sent on
a wild-goose chase.
What's that got to
do with Roberts?
- He set us up for it.
- You're bowling in
the wrong alley, Sergeant.
- No, Sergeant. You're skiing
in the wrong state.
- Meaning what?
Meaning, Sun Valley... It's
not in Nevada. It's in Idaho.
All right. What does that mean?
Major, someone's trying
to get to your V.I.P.s.
I think it's Roberts.
Well, if Roberts were your
man, it's a little late, isn't it?
Not if he planted a bomb.
And just where do you think
that would be, Sergeant Troy?
Major, I don't know.
Maybe the square, the hallway,
the staircase, conference room.
You really oughta see somebody
about your fantasies, Sergeant.
Major, I... Sergeant,
put that gun away.
You've been trying to sabotage
this meeting ever since you got here.
I don't know why,
but I'm gonna find out.
Sir, the plane's in the pattern,
and the pilot wants you on the radio.
[ Grunts ]
[ Engine Revving ]
Find anything, Sergeant?
You can make it a lot easier on
us, Roberts, if you tell us where it is.
- Where what is?
- The bomb, Roberts.
Sergeant, has it ever occurred
to you that maybe you're wrong?
Maybe I'm not a spy,
and there is no bomb?
Well, in that case, you haven't
got anything to worry about.
But on the other
hand, if it is here,
you're gonna be right on
top of it when it goes off.
[ Knocking ]
Sarge. Did you find the Arab?
Yeah, I found him... in back of the motor
pool in an alley, with a knife in his gut.
Maybe he escaped
from the guardhouse.
He never got there. I checked.
All right, Hitch. Get outside and
clear out the area in all directions.
And keep those staff cars away.
[ Tapping Table ]
- Getting warm, Roberts?
- [ Exhales ]
You need a light?
- The table.
- I've already checked it.
Well, check it again!
It's gotta be there!
Troy, we haven't any time!
Tully, what were you doing
when Roberts made a break?
Nothing. I was just going
to turn on the light. The light!
Tully, get the M.P.s. Right.
All right, Superman.
- Where was it?
- In the lamp, Major.
I owe you an apology, Sergeant.
He sure had me fooled.
Not the only one.
What have you
got to say, Roberts?
[ Chuckles ] With a little
luck, I would have made it.
That what you call it...
luck? What would you call it?
A sergeant disobeys
a major's orders,
and because of his
insubordination, I'm caught.
In Germany, he'd be shot. You'll
probably pin a medal on him.
No, just give him another
chance to be insubordinate.
And that's why you'll lose, because your
soldiers don't know how to obey orders.
We'll win, because our soldiers
know how to use their heads.
All right. Get him outta here.
[ Chuckles ] I've gotta
hand it to you, Sergeant.
You certainly cleared the air.
Well, we try our best, sir.
Good luck. Thank you, sir.
[ Roars ]
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
Sarge!
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
- Did you get him?
- Yeah, I got him.
But I don't know if it was before
or after he delivered his dispatch.
[ Sighs ]
[ Bleating ]
[ Bell Ringing ]
Find the motor pool.
Get these jeeps serviced.
Right, Sarge.
[ Knocking ] Come in.
Sergeants Troy and Moffitt
reporting as ordered, sir.
At ease, men.
Well, from what I hear, you and your
men really deserve this little vacation.
With the major's permission,
our orders are to
head Security for the
conference between
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Relax, Sergeant. You can't
win the war single-handedly.
There's no security
problem here.
Then how do you explain
the fact that we saw
a German courier
steaming out of this area?
Well, that's no
reason to jump to the
assumption there's
been a breach of security.
Don't you think
it's strange, sir?
Twenty-four hours before the conference,
we spotted a German courier in this area.
[ Blows ] What are you
driving at, Sergeant?
Sir, I think you should
postpone this conference.
Your orders are to head Security for this
conference, Sergeant, not dictate policy.
Maybe I oughta clear the air.
Having you here wasn't my idea.
Command seems to feel that
while you're refueling here...
and getting supplies
and what have you, it'd
be a good idea to
have you head Security.
Something about knowing
the enemy firsthand.
Frankly, I just as soon
you, uh, be on your way.
[ Smacks Lips ] Yes, sir.
But while you're here,
you'd be wise to tread
lightly, and not step
on anybody's toes...
Especially mine.
All right, Major.
I'll be frank also.
Security... That's not our job.
But we've been ordered to do it,
even if it means stepping
on someone's toes.
- That a threat, Sergeant?
- No, sir.
Just clearing the air.
That'll be all, men.
Major, does anyone else
know about this conference?
Chiefs of staff,
British and American.
And the pilot that's
bringing them in. That's all.
That's all?
That is all, Sergeant.
[ Door Slams ]
Sergeant Roberts.
Sir? I want you to keep an eye
on that Sergeant Troy for me.
Let me know what he's up to.
I'm not gonna have my record
blemished by some paranoid sergeant...
who's bucking for
lieutenant's bars. Yes, sir.
And, uh, needless to say,
don't let this go any further.
I understand, sir.
How's it going? Oh,
let's face it, Sarge.
That transmission's almost
had it. What about the radiator?
Oh, it needed a drink,
but, uh, who doesn't?
Sergeant Troy?
- Yeah.
- Oh, hi. I'm Sergeant Roberts.
Major Reese asked me to
help you guys get billeting.
All set. Ready to roll,
Sarge. I don't envy
you going back out
in that boiling desert.
Keeps us off the street.
Well, every time the
temperature gets
over 40, I start to sweat.
Just like the army. They
ship you to the desert.
Typical snafu. They should
have put me in the ski troops.
Are you a good skier?
Every year, I was the
first one out at Sun Valley.
Of course, all I had to
do was walk right out
my front door. I was
born there in Nevada.
Jeep's ready. What
next? Time for a beer?
- I'd like to find a barber.
- Well, I'd better
check out the quarters.
Come on. I'll show you
the way. See you later.
Roberts, the major
wants you on the double.
Okay, tell him I'll be right there.
Think you can find your way?
Yeah, just point me in the
right direction. Come on.
Go right down the alley.
When you come out,
turn left, about
three-quarters of a block.
All right. Thanks.
[ Man Shouting In
Foreign Language ]
Come on! Who set you
on my back? Please.
Come on! I'm waiting!
Effendi, they will kill me.
They're gonna
have to wait in line.
They do not want you here
tomorrow... when the airplane arrives.
- Who are they?
- The Germans.
They plan to take the airstrip
by surprise, kidnap the men.
Their armored cars will
rendezvous in the desert... tonight.
Where?
The Wadi of El
Tzibur... about 40 miles.
You'd better take
him to the guardhouse.
Tell the major we'll
have to take off,
but we'll be back
in plenty of time.
And, Roberts, thanks.
It is good, effendi.
[ Chuckles ]
My brother... He escape.
- Oh, yeah. He got away.
- [ Speaking Foreign Language ] Good. Good.
[ Chuckles ]
Hassan?
[ Chuckles ] Don't
you want your knife?
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Door Opens ]
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
Morning, sir. Good
morning, Sergeant. Ready?
I was just giving the room a
last-minute check personally.
Oh, good. Everything in
order? Clean as a whistle.
Well, let's get cracking.
Plane's due at 0900.
Yes, sir.
If they were out here,
we'd have found them.
Last night or this morning, we
would have found some trace of them.
Troy, it's after 7:00.
Take us over an hour
to get back to town.
Somebody wanted us out here.
They must be
going to hit in town.
Then we can't hold
radio silence any longer.
No. Let's go.
Break radio silence!
Get me Major Reese!
Red Dog, this is Black Fox.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox. Over.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox.
Red Dog, this is Black Fox. Over.
Red Dog, this is...
It's dead.
Try ours.
Red Dog. Come in, Red Dog.
Red Dog. Come in, Red Dog.
This is Black Fox. Come in.
Red Dog. Come in, Red
Dog. This is Black Fox.
Nothing.
Sarge, the wire's been cut.
- The Arab?
- No. He was under guard.
- There was no one else there except...
- Except Roberts.
He could have done it while I
was out rounding you guys up.
- I don't think so, Troy.
- Nevada.
What?
Skip it. All right.
Let's move out.
[ Crowd Chattering ]
Are you all right,
sir? Yes, I'm fine.
Sergeant Roberts, you all right?
Yes, sir. Thanks.
[ Scoffs ] Forget it, sir.
Find out who he is. Yes, sir.
Let's go.
Major Reese? You
just missed him.
He left with Sergeant Roberts
to go to the airstrip. When?
- Couldn't have been
more than 20 minutes ago.
- What do you think?
I'm not sure.
Hitch, find the Arab and get him
back here as soon as you can.
Right, Sarge. Let's go.
Sir, they had to change course
because of enemy aerial activity.
The E.T.A. is now 0950.
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
Hello, Roberts.
- What's going on here, Sergeant?
- We were sent on
a wild-goose chase.
What's that got to
do with Roberts?
- He set us up for it.
- You're bowling in
the wrong alley, Sergeant.
- No, Sergeant. You're skiing
in the wrong state.
- Meaning what?
Meaning, Sun Valley... It's
not in Nevada. It's in Idaho.
All right. What does that mean?
Major, someone's trying
to get to your V.I.P.s.
I think it's Roberts.
Well, if Roberts were your
man, it's a little late, isn't it?
Not if he planted a bomb.
And just where do you think
that would be, Sergeant Troy?
Major, I don't know.
Maybe the square, the hallway,
the staircase, conference room.
You really oughta see somebody
about your fantasies, Sergeant.
Major, I... Sergeant,
put that gun away.
You've been trying to sabotage
this meeting ever since you got here.
I don't know why,
but I'm gonna find out.
Sir, the plane's in the pattern,
and the pilot wants you on the radio.
[ Grunts ]
[ Engine Revving ]
Find anything, Sergeant?
You can make it a lot easier on
us, Roberts, if you tell us where it is.
- Where what is?
- The bomb, Roberts.
Sergeant, has it ever occurred
to you that maybe you're wrong?
Maybe I'm not a spy,
and there is no bomb?
Well, in that case, you haven't
got anything to worry about.
But on the other
hand, if it is here,
you're gonna be right on
top of it when it goes off.
[ Knocking ]
Sarge. Did you find the Arab?
Yeah, I found him... in back of the motor
pool in an alley, with a knife in his gut.
Maybe he escaped
from the guardhouse.
He never got there. I checked.
All right, Hitch. Get outside and
clear out the area in all directions.
And keep those staff cars away.
[ Tapping Table ]
- Getting warm, Roberts?
- [ Exhales ]
You need a light?
- The table.
- I've already checked it.
Well, check it again!
It's gotta be there!
Troy, we haven't any time!
Tully, what were you doing
when Roberts made a break?
Nothing. I was just going
to turn on the light. The light!
Tully, get the M.P.s. Right.
All right, Superman.
- Where was it?
- In the lamp, Major.
I owe you an apology, Sergeant.
He sure had me fooled.
Not the only one.
What have you
got to say, Roberts?
[ Chuckles ] With a little
luck, I would have made it.
That what you call it...
luck? What would you call it?
A sergeant disobeys
a major's orders,
and because of his
insubordination, I'm caught.
In Germany, he'd be shot. You'll
probably pin a medal on him.
No, just give him another
chance to be insubordinate.
And that's why you'll lose, because your
soldiers don't know how to obey orders.
We'll win, because our soldiers
know how to use their heads.
All right. Get him outta here.
[ Chuckles ] I've gotta
hand it to you, Sergeant.
You certainly cleared the air.
Well, we try our best, sir.
Good luck. Thank you, sir.
[ Roars ]