The Osbournes Want to Believe (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Breaking All the Rules - full transcript

Could somebody get sharon?
What's she doing, jack?

She is coming down right now.

Noon means 12:00,
doesn't it? Not a quarter past.

You're the one who's
supposed to be the rock star

and make people wait.

If I'm told 12:00,
I'm ready at [bleep] 11:30.

I hate being late for anything.

Always have done.

Get your arse down here.

Jack: We may be the
first family of darkness,

but not all of us are true
believers in the paranormal.



They want to believe.

Has a ghost ever been
caught on film? Yes.

Man: Whoa! What the... and I have
the evidence that will blow their minds.

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

I think you're
starting to believe.

Seeing is believing.

Man: Whoa. What is happening?

[ screams ]

oh, god, no.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

how we feeling?
Good. Ready for this.

Alright. Hi, guys.

Alright, so, this first clip...



I don't know if
you've seen this.

You know the dome
of the rock in israel?

A ufo hovered above it.

Was it a jewish ufo?

It looked like a star
of david. Star of david.

Now I believe. Come on,
let's see. Alright.

Was it a jewish alien? Eee...

Did he have a
yarmulke on? [ chuckles ]

let the record show
that my mother is jewish.

Good thing you
guys are of the age...

[laughing] where people
just assume you're just crazy.

[indistinct] "you
are at the age."

[bleep] hell.

Hey,
I'm old. I'm getting gray hair.

Listen, I've got an ex-wife,

a mortgage, three kids, and ms.

I'm like 70.

Okay, I got an ex-wife,
three kids, gray hair-

oh, what the [bleep],
the ex-wife?

She's [bleep] dead.

Oh, calm down. No, she's not.

I could kill you,
trying to pull rank with me.

Okay. [ chuckles ]

but then again,
I have an ex-wife,

you have a wife.

Oh. [ chuckles ]

but I got it right
the second time.

You ain't got there
yet. Yeah. Yeah!

Yes. Hey...

Let's [bleep] get on
with these ufos and-

are you gonna start blinking
morse code in a second,

like a... "help. Help."

what's distress?

Alright, let's go.

Ufo at the dome of the rock.

Jack: So in 2011,
an israeli man noticed this strange light

hovering over the
dome of the rock,

which is an islamic
shrine in jerusalem.

Star of david.
It's christmas eve.

Now watch the light.

Man: Whoa! [ laughs ]

♪♪

And then look,
it leaves these weird blinking lights

in its wake. Weird, huh?

Hold on. Hold on.

Did you just see
that? Let's see it again.

You want to see it again?

Oh, yeah. Star of david.

See... arrow?

See,
I believe it's real 'cause that arrow...

♪♪

"it's going down."

no, it ain't. Planet's going up.

[ laughs ]

- watch. - Whoa! [ laughs ]

♪♪

But when you think about it...

And I was saying yesterday,

how come that we
never hear about aliens

before the last century?

You did! No, listen.

With the green... No,
listen, let me finish.

Back in the day,
when jesus was born...

Uh-huh.

...Three wise men... Uh-huh.

...Followed a star. It
could've been an alien.

It could've been an alien!
They were following a ufo.

This is an ancient alien
theory that they... is it?

Following a ufo. Yeah,
they think that that could've been...

I don't know exactly what it is,
but there was some...

And jesus might've been a
descendant from an alien. An alien!

Could've been. Yeah.

How would you have
responded if you had seen that?

I would've thought
he should come back.

I would say...

It's the messiah coming

'cause my people have
been waiting for the messiah.

I would've thought
that was the messiah.

Yeah. I agree.
That's what I just said.

Mm-hmm. Hmm. Okay.

On the woogie boogie scale,
where would you rate it?

7 1/2 out of 10.

8. 8? Huh.

Okay. Let's move on, then.

So I'm assuming the schools
you guys went to in England

were very old, right? Excuse me?

Well, no, 'cause it's England,
and you guys were in the...

Hey, I was at a cutting-edge,
new-world school.

Yeah,
in like 1862. [ chuckling ]

and what's that
got to do with it?

Did you ride there on
horseback? I'll have you know...

Carriage.

...We had discipline
at our school.

Yes,
and look how you turned out.

Look, well,
I made a lot of money in my life.

We used to get caned every day.

They used to discipline
the [bleep] out of you.

This is by far one
of my favorite clips.

This is from a
school in ireland,

and they set up security
cameras in the school,

and it caught some
really interesting stuff.

But what is it? Poltergeist,
aliens?

It's definitely poltergeist,
and then...

We're going back to my people.

You're irish, yes. Mm-hmm.

I love ireland. I think
ireland's [bleep] great.

They say ireland used to be
very much like England used to be.

I think I'd like to
move to ireland.

No, you wouldn't. You
can [bleep] off on your own.

You know dublin's

the fastest-growing city in europe,
right? Who?

Dublin. Dublin.

Yeah, 'cause it keeps doublin'
and doublin' and doublin'.

Oh,
for [bleep] sake. Very expensive now.

Dad joke! [ laughs ]

god... Check it out.

Corny old [bleep].

Jack: So this is deerpark
christian brother's school,

and it's in the city of cork,
in ireland.

And late one night
in October 2017,

this is what the security
cameras picked up in the school.

♪♪

Watch the back door.

♪♪

♪♪

Okay, now watch the lockers.

♪♪

Wow.

♪♪

That's [bleep] radical.

Just wait.

Wow.

♪♪

Alright,
here's the second hallway.

Now watch the chair behind
the date and time stamp.

♪♪

Floating up the wall.

What?

Chair floated up the wall.

Jack: So the school administration
reviewed all the footage

and they found no evidence
of this being a setup.

♪♪

That's [bleep].

♪♪

♪♪

Well, I believe that.

Isn't that some of
the coolest footage?

That is pretty convincing.

I mean, that's, hands down,

some of the coolest
stuff I've ever seen.

I want to go and
investigate that school.

Oh, really? Yeah.

What, in ireland?

There's a lot of
ghosts around ireland.

That would be a good
place to go ghost hunting.

In ireland? It would be.

England and ireland
have great stuff.

Well, that's what we should do.

Take this on the road?

I'd like to go to ireland,
ghost hunting.

What would you say,
on the woogie boogie scale,

where would you
put the irish school?

1 being the least scary,
10 being the most.

Where would you
categorize this clip?

High score. Way up there.

Yeah,
I'd put that on like a 9 or a 10.

If that. The only
thing I would say...

8. 8. Actually, I would say 8 1/2,
to be honest with you.

The only way that
I would say more

is if it actually captured

an actual apparition on camera.

If you could physically
see what was doing it,

that wasn't alive,

that would be concerning.

Has a ghost ever been
caught on film? Yes.

Well,
we're going to see some stuff.

Oh, we are? Yeah.

Oh, today? Yeah.

What do you think
a ghost looks like?

It's a presence.

I think you feel a ghost

more than you
actually see a ghost.

I mean,
you get a feeling that people says,

"something walked
straight through me."

that would scare me more
than if I saw a shadow.

[ sharon and jack laugh ]

have you guys ever had any
weird experiences at a hotel?

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

let me rephrase that.

Did it smell of urine?

No,
'cause it's just abandoned and old.

It's not like there's people
still pissing everywhere.

[ laughs ]

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

Rocky is the star
of the show now.

This guy is the best dude.

He gets fan mail.

Pictures of girls.

That dog looks like a muppet.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

have you guys ever
been to the biltmore hotel?

Yes, yes. Oh, you have?

Where is it? San francisco.

No. [ buzzer ]

it's in providence,
rhode island... biltmore.

I was just in rhode island.

That's your heritage.

My heritage is from
there. Let's have a look.

This could be one
of your ancestors.

My ancestors went from
ireland to rhode island.

Hello. Yeah, I'm listening.

Alright. Just telling you. Wow.

But I don't think they
went to the biltmore hotel.

No, I highly doubt it.

Jack: Here it is,
the biltmore hotel.

Now,
this place has been open since 1922.

You were there when it opened,
right?

So there was a speakeasy
here during prohibition,

and supposedly people have
performed satanic rituals there.

There we even several murders

that have been
committed in the hotel,

and some of these
stories about this place

inspired "the
shining" and "psycho."

I've heard of this.

I know we have.

Jack: So in October of 2018,
this guy named jack stephens

stayed at the biltmore hotel,

and he took this
really creepy video.

Stephens: This is my hotel
room in the providence biltmore.

This is room 1102.

And they say that this
hotel is a little bit haunted.

The overhead light in my room

has been flicking
on and off by itself,

so I thought that I'd
better get it on video.

♪♪

There it goes. Did you see that?

♪♪

I'm the only one in this room,

and this is the light switch
over here at the back.

As you can see, it is clearly
in the off position right now.

Okay,
so I don't know how it is doing this.

♪♪

Holy [bleep].

♪♪

So, okay. Who was that guy?

He was just some guy
checking out the haunted hotel.

Okay.

Well,
that I wasn't very impressive.

He wasn't like a professional?

I don't think he was a
professional ghost hunter,

not unlike myself.

[ chuckling ] no,
an expert in this. [ chuckles ]

[ upper-crust accent ] an
expert in paranormal matters.

It could've been a draft,
or something from...

Or could it be paranormal?

This place definitely
screams creepy.

Have you guys ever had any
weird experiences at a hotel?

Yeah. [ chuckles ] [
production crew laughs ]

what? Let me rephrase that.

Have you ever had any
ghostly experiences at a hotel?

No. Not ghostly, but strange.

So, that clip with the light
moving in the hotel room.

We had a similar experience
while we were filming

"portals to hell" at
eastern state penitentiary,

where dad, you've been to.

Remember the museum,

the old prison in
philadelphia we went to? Yes.

Yep, I went back there.

We were in a section,
which was the death row wing,

and a light above my
head started to swing.

Very [bleep]
weird in that place.

Wasn't it?

Damned [bleep] evil.

This place was [bleep]
terrifying. Really?

Oh,
the place really freaked me out.

The worst place
you've ever been?

In the top five, for sure.

We can give it a look.

♪♪

I'm kind of dreading
going back up to death row.

It's an intense hum of energy.

It freaks me out.

This place is like [bleep] evil.

♪♪

I feel like everything
in me's like,

"just leave. Just
leave. Just leave."

I think there's
something up here,

and I don't think...

Call it spider sense-y,
I don't know, but it's saying,

"just get the
[bleep] out of here.

Just get out of here."

I have felt...

Like something...

♪♪

That just started moving
behind your head. Yeah, it did.

What is it? Look at that light,
just started swinging above my head.

Oh, I'd be, "see ya." yep.

Why that just start moving?

Producer: I have no
idea. Makes no sense.

And you didn't hear gust
of wind come through,

and look, and now it's stopped.

And now it's stopping.

♪♪

I'm getting the
[bleep] out of here.

♪♪

I hate that place.

I mean,
I saw a shadow figure there.

But you know,
you know what it is?

You're in a [bleep] place
which was a [bleep] old prison.

You know nothing
good went on in there.

Yeah.

So it could be your own
instinct that's telling...

Especially knowing that like
1,000 people died in that building.

Really? Yeah.

Were they hung or
electrocuted there or both?

They were just housed there.

No killings there? No, but...

Why 1,000 people dead,
then? Over the time?

Over the time of
tuberculosis outbreak...

Oh, okay. ...Cholera,
all these weird...

'cause it's one of the
oldest penitentiaries in the...

It's actually the oldest
penitentiary in the country.

Would you ever spend the
night in si... not sing sing.

What was the place
in san francisco?

Alcatraz. Alcatraz. Alcatraz.

Yeah, I would because

I really want to go do
an investigation there.

You would spend the night? Yes.

But at eastern state,
I wouldn't.

Did it smell of urine?

No,
'cause it's just abandoned and old.

It's not like there's people
still pissing everywhere.

[ laughing ]

do you want to hear
one theory about bigfoot?

They think they could be aliens.

They have a
biomechanical space suit

to be on earth's environment.

I think this is a
crock of [bleep].

Have you guys ever
seen any weird creatures?

Like in England,
they've got in the moors

with the black dogs,
the black cat on the moor.

Nah. Have you guys
ever seen any of that?

Mnh-mnh. No.

No. Only me.

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

Hey,
how's it going? It's jack osbourne

as well as...

Ozzy osbourne and
sharon osbourne.

Mrs. Osbourne.

And we are coming to you from...

Hold on. Pickles.

Oh, and pickles. Terrifying.

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

okay, so, here we are,
me trying to convince you

that the world is
not as it seems.

Are you guys ready
to become believers?

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Okay,
I'm gonna try... [ laughs ]

you guys are gonna love this. Is
this "harry and the handersons?"

no, this is an aswang.

What? What? In aswang.

What the [bleep] is an aswang?

It's a creature...
Allow me to read.

A-s-s-w-o-n-g?

No, it's a-s-w-a-n-g. Aswang.

As-wang.

I'm gonna have a good-old
aswang tonight. [ laughs ]

it's some kind of demonic entity

that is known to
hang out in asia.

You don't say ass-wong?

An ass-wong? No.

An arse-wipe.

Okay, so this aswang
appears to be a human at first,

but it's some kind
of demonic entity.

[bleep],
and I should know all this.

I used to play in a band
called black sabbath.

This is your fault.

I bet you have a
lot of aswang fans.

And it's in asia?

Yes,
the philippines. It's like a shape-shifting

demonic entity that
torments people.

That's the theory. That's the myth
behind it. Oh, I know a few of them.

Okay,
so it's their version of a ghost?

Yeah, just say yeah...

No, it's more of a cryptid.

Alright. "aswang through gate."

[ laughs ]

jack: So this is in June
of 2019 in the philippines,

and these two guys are
watching the security camera

outside of their
apartment building.

It's like 1:00 in the morning,

and then you see this
amorphous gray figure.

It literally looks like it's
walking through the gate.

Wow.

And then it turns into something
that looks like a human.

Let's see it again.

♪♪

How [bleep] weird is that?

You know what I
think that is? What?

It's a double exposure.

It's filmed on top of
a film or [gibberish].

Look at the size
of his [indistinct].

But it's behind the fence,
and then it comes through the fence

like it's the
[bleep] terminator.

Double exposing.
It's like on a loop.

It's every 24 hours he films,
and after so many times

the impression of the first
one goes onto the second one.

I don't think he looks asian.

[ laughing ] I don't.

I'm gonna buy you a
[bleep] bag of weed.

He's not supposed to. He's
supposed to look filipino.

You know what?

[ chuckling ] I hate you both.

[ laughs ]

so aswang or
ass-right? [ rim shot ]

oh, I think it's a camera thing.

I don't think that's [bleep]...

You think it's just
some kind of glitch.

I just think it's an
american tourist

that's been out
drinking late at night.

And walks through
a [bleep] fence?

Well,
it all depends on what you're drinking.

Moving on. Right.

Alright, so this clip,
it's a bigfoot clip.

It's from russia. These
hunters were driving...

In siberia... were
driving down... hang on.

How many of [bleep] things
are there? Supposedly a lot.

Do you want to hear
one theory about bigfoot?

They think they could be aliens

and that's their space suit

to be on earth's
environment. Oh.

They have a
biomechanical space suit

that has fur and all this.

No, no, no, no.

They're little green men.
But they could be big.

We have tall people here.

Think about... 7'4".

But if you've been traveling
across the [bleep] universe...

...Like basketball players
and very tall people.

There could be tall aliens.

I think this is a
crock of [bleep].

Hmm. Well, this is interesting. Okay,
moving right on.

Watch.

Jack: So, these guys are
driving the back roads of siberia

one night in 2016.

Jack: It's for sure lucky they
had their dashboard camera going

because nobody
would've believed them.

[ men speaking in russian ]

ozzy: That ain't a [bleep] moose,
[bleep].

Looks like a big man.

Yeah. Bigfoot.

I don't think it's bigfoot.

There was something running with it,
though.

Let's see.

♪♪

No, that's the snow. Oh,
the snow coming up, yeah.

That's a big... Thing.

I mean,
it didn't look like a bear to me.

Didn't move like a bear.

No, I mean,
it's running. It's bipedal.

It looks like a person.

I don't think it's a [bleep] alien,
anyway.

I don't believe you.

I think it's probably some guy
running across the [bleep] road.

How would you respond if you
were driving and you saw that?

I'd be perturbed.

Perturbed? Mm-hmm.

Have you guys ever
seen any weird creatures?

Like in England,
they've got in the moors

with the black dogs,
the black cat on the moor.

Nah. Have you guys
ever seen any of that?

Mnh-mnh. No.

No. Only me.

No pukwudgies? What?

Pukwudgie. What's a pukwudgie?

Pukwudgie are like gnomes.

I wish I did. I'd
love to see them.

They eat strawberries.

Stop it. No, they do. Yeah,
if you want to lure in

a pukwudgie,
you leave out strawberries.

Are they irish? No,
they're native american.

They're like the native
american gnome-elf thing.

What are they?
They wear pointy hats.

What are they? Why
do little people wear...

What are they?! Pukwudgies.

They're like little gnomes.
They're like garden gnomes.

I've never heard of it. It's
a native american myth,

and they eat strawberries.

They're actually my
favorite mythical creature.

There seems to be a lot of
things going on the planet

that people never really see.

There must be a [bleep] big
place that we don't know about

where they all hang out.

Well,
that's the hollow earth theory.

Oh, [bleep] god. Hollow earth.

Where would you rate
that on the woogie boogie?

- 2. - No. 4.

Yeah, I'm about a four on it

'cause it could've
been a person.

It could've been a person
with big snow clothes on,

and just, yeah.

Alrighty. Moving on.

This house here,
what we live in now,

I get some peculiar
feelings in this [bleep] house.

Oh, really? Really do.

I think something heavy's
happened in this house.

Something like a
murder or something bad.

[bleep] this place.

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

I'm think I'm gonna be
asleep in 10 minutes.

Do you want a coffee?

Yes.

[ laughter ]

[ slurping, gulping ]

[ gulping continues ]

[ bleep ] oh, my god.

Gulp, gulp... you're gonna
just take a massive [bleep] now.

Ahh... [ laughter ]

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

alright, so,
remember how you were asking

has anyone ever actually
captured on camera a ghost? Right.

This is considered
some of the best footage

of that exact thing.

This next clip is
a security guard

at a nursing home in chicago.

It's quite fascinating.

We're watching a ghost?
Ghost caught on camera,

or a strange...

Well,
you'll just see. Happening.

It's odd, for sure.

Jack: Okay, so,
the security guard is on the night shift

at a nursing home.

Alright, watch the carpet.

You see that white
thing? That white...

What white thing? The
carpet. Look at the carpet.

Oh, yeah.

Watch. Look at this white wisp.

It's a [bleep] thing
on lens or something.

Okay,
but look. Look at this guy's reaction.

He's like,
"what in the [bleep] was that?"

no,
it's just a [bleep] reflection.

It's... Not a [bleep] ghost.

♪♪

He just farted. It's
probably from that.

Alright,
so then there's another one of that.

Another camera?
There's three parts

'cause it happened
three times to this guy

in three different occasions.

This same security guard? You know,
it's called smoking the ganja.

Look.

He's smoking ganja.

♪♪

See,
night watchman smoke ganja behind the desk.

♪♪

Nah, that's smoke. Saw it again,
different clip.

Watch him. Look,
he's like... no, no.

No, no.

♪♪

I don't be...

It's his reaction which gets me.

I don't...

And then, last but not least.

I mean, if that was a ghost,

I wouldn't do the
sign of the cross.

I'd get the [bleep]
out of there.

Well,
he's got a job to do. He got to protect

the good people of
that nursing home. Yeah.

I'm not buying this one at all.

Okay,
but what about the third time he sees it?

Nope. Nope. Do you believe that?

Look.

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, where's that for you
on the woogie boogie scale?

1.

Mom?

3. Alright.

If it's not a ghost,
what do you think it could it be?

Shadow.

Okay.

Or something on the lens.

Steam?

What? No.

Condensation? No.

Just a dodgy lens.

So you think
there's nothing there

and he's just [bleep] around?

No, it could've been a shadow.

He could've broke wind.

No.

Have you ever farted and
actually seen the cloud of fart?

Do you know something. Oh,
here we go.

No,
hold on. When I was at school...

Do you remember this
school teacher that I had

at first school,
like nursery school? No.

It was ms. Mayhew. The
woman that was a baby

on the titanic that survived,
okay. Yes, yes.

She had a bulldog
called dinah... Mm-hmm.

...And she was really,
really big bulldog...

[laughing] and this one guy
that was in a class with me,

he goes, "ms. Mayhew,

I just saw a big, green cloud

come out of dinah's bum."

nah,
his second name was mite. Dyna-mite.

His arse exploded. [ chuckling ]

so,
do you believe the 6-year-old child

that claims to have seen a big,
green gaseous cloud?

Yeah.

Why would he say that?

'cause he smokes the same
cigarette that you were smoking.

'cause he's a 6-year-old boy

and thinks farts are
funny. [ chuckles ]

have you met my kids?

All they do is talk about farts.

So,
what do you think a ghost would look like

if that's not what
a ghost looks like?

It wouldn't surprise me

if a spirit or whatever
was like that.

So it's not in the human form,
yeah.

Like a gaseous cloud. Okay,
a shadow.

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Why couldn't that
be light shadows?

Why do shadows
always have to be black?

The notion of a shadow,
it's bending...

Light is bending around you,
that's creating a shadow.

What they say about your soul,
right?

Your soul, you can't find it if
you open someone up, so...

Was that a hospital?

No, it's a nursing home.

That might be a soul,
not a ghost.

Yeah. I just said that!

[ laughs ] I mean,
that's what I'm saying.

Thank you.

Okay,
I didn't come up with the idea.

My wife did. She's the scientist

of the family. She
came up with the...

You see, sharon said it's a soul,
not a ghost.

From egypt. I was just
referring her discovery

that mankind now
understands about ghosts.

It's souls.

Arse-[bleep].

[ laughter ]

so, this is weird.

This is captured on
someone's ring doorbell camera.

Apparently she hears
someone in the vicinity

screaming for help.

Jack: So, this happened in
houston in the summer of 2019.

See? Stoned.

You can tell by the
way they're walking.

Woman: What the [bleep]?

[ indistinct sounds ]

what am I supposed
to be watching now?

[ sounds continue ]

jack: You can hear someone say,
"help me, help me."

listen again.

A tortured voice seems
to be begging for help.

[ sounds continue ]

she can't see where
it's coming from,

so she starts freaking out...

...And then decides
to call the police.

♪♪

She plays them the footage.

[ indistinct sounds ]

the cops search the
place and find nobody.

♪♪

Listen one more time.

[ indistinct sounds ]

see,
that frightened me more than anything.

Really? Yeah,
that frightened me.

Why? I don't know.

Just the way it was.
The way it sounded.

Just hearing someone go, "[ faintly ]
please. Help me." what was she saying?

Have you ever thought
you've heard someone talking?

In the '70s,
I used to hear that all the time.

Yeah? In the hotel rooms? Yeah.

No, I haven't heard anything
like that. You've never heard?

You never thought
you heard anything? No.

Now that clip,
on the woogie boogie scale,

where would you rate it?

1. 1 for you?

5. 5 for mum. Okay.

This house here,
what we live in now.

I get some peculiar
feelings in this [bleep] house.

Oh, really? Really do.

Like where?

Tell him, mum. Oh, yeah.

He woke up saying
that there was...

A figure in the bedroom,

and he could see
somebody in the bedroom.

I said, "you know what,
hon? I think someone...

Something heavy's
happened in this house."

something like a
murder or something bad.

Could you see it? No!

And he said, "look, look,
they're over there."

I'm like, "no, nobody there."

[bleep] this place.

♪♪

Jackie, can you take pebbles,

'cause pebbles
is the one that...

Pickles. Pickles, sorry.

Pebbles. What
the [bleep] am I on?

Pebbles? Calling my pickles... I'm sorry,
pickles.

Pebbles was my dog.
Come here pickles. I'm sorry.

Now listen,
you. You can't come down here.

'cause you're too gorgeous.

- Okay. - Okay.

Do you want to start,
or you want to wait?

I'm getting ready to start.

Mufon,
which is the mutual ufo network,

investigated this.

Who runs that
network? I don't know.

It's a collective of
paranormal investigators.

A guy called spock.

You noticed when they
all first saw the alien...

He had the big eye,
little mouth, little nose...

Then everybody else saw one.

Now he's balls of
light in the [bleep] sky.

But everyone's reporting him.

Now he's the balls.

It's the balls. Balls of light.

Great balls of fire.
[ laughing ] balls.

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

Look at bella. Bella's just old,
and...

Bella comes from chernobyl.

She's just holding on to life.

Look at her arse.

It looks like a [bleep].

She looks like a chicken.
Little radioactive arse-[bleep].

Like a chicken you'd
buy at the grocery store.

When she's backing up,
I thought she was gonna take a dump on me.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

this is another ufo encounter.

Mufon,
which is the mutual ufo network,

investigated this.

Who runs that
network? I don't know.

It's a collective of
paranormal investigators.

A guy called spock.

[ chuckling ]

jack: This is in portland,
oregon.

So,
this group of friends are hanging out

in September of 2014,
when they see this.

Man: Yo, what is that?

Man: It's so close!

[bleep], dude!

- What the [bleep]?
- That's awesome.

Dude, is that?

There's like five things,
bros. I don't even...

No, I think that's a [bleep]
reflection off a window.

Jack: Inside their house? Yep.

They're looking out a
window that's got a...

- They are stopping. - No way.

No.

Man: Bro,
it just stopped. What the [bleep]?

It's called a [bleep] window.

Jack: Now they're
forming a pattern.

- [ bleep ] - kay,
you're about to be

anal probed, son. - [ chuckles ]

not even kidding, bro.

To me,
it looks like a [bleep] re...

Man: Bro, I just want to go up
to it and see what it is. Hell no!

Jack: These guys ended up
handing the footage off to mufon,

and so far the ufo
experts have come up

with no logical explanation
from the recording.

That's some alien [bleep].

Now that clip,
where would you rate it

on the woogie boogie scale?

3. 3?

I put it at a 7.

5. 5? Okay.

If it's not a ufo,
what do you think it is?

You think it was...
Reflection of a window.

So,
they're filming out of a window,

and they're catching
reflections behind them?

Yeah. [indistinct]
the reflection

on the [indistinct]
could be a wet window.

Okay. That explains a bit of...

I thought it was skydivers.

You know how sometimes
show skydivers will...

It could be that. They put
the flares on their boots.

But have you noticed,
when they all first saw the alien...

You had the big eye,
little mouth, little nose...

And everybody else saw one.

Now it's balls of light
in the [bleep] sky.

But everyone's recording them. We've seen,
what, four?

♪♪

Man: Whoa!

Now it's the balls.

It's the balls. Balls of light.

Great balls of fire.
[ laughing ] balls.

See that?

That looks pretty
cool. Doesn't it?

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

We just need one of the dogs,
not all of the mental cases.

Oh, they just followed me. Sorry,
they just followed me.

It's alright. [ chuckling ]

oh.

[ mumbling ]

my baby boy. Yeah.

[ producer laughs
] he's a good boy.

I think bella needs
an antidepressant.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

alright,
moving on. This is the final clip.

There's multiple of this clip.

Two different people
recorded the exact same thing.

These people don't
know each other,

and there were in
different parts of the city.

But the same
city? The same city.

Okay. What we're
about to see next.

And it is a pyramid
that was like a...

Some kind of pyramid craft

that is spinning
above the pentagon.

It's a relatively recent video.

And this incident was written
about but not largely reported.

Okay, you can see it...

Yeah,
I can see it. ...Right here.

Man: Where is it?
Give me the camera.

Right there. What
is this? I mean...

What the [bleep] is
that? See it right there?

♪♪

Turn right,
turn right, turn right!

Do you see it? - Where is it?

♪♪

Right there.

♪♪

Oh, man.

♪♪

Man: This is a
[bleep] alien invasion.

Ozzy: Maybe it's
some new transport?

Look at that thing. Oh, yeah.

It's [bleep] huge.

Alright, so that's one angle.

That looks pretty cool. Go on.

Doesn't it? And this is the...

I don't know what to
think. ...Second angle.

Someone was stationary at home,
and they...

Their place overlooks
the pentagon.

Man: Honey?

Woman: Should not be here.

[ speaking indistinctly ]

look at that. That
would be interesting.

♪♪

♪♪

You know what the interesting
theory behind this is? What?

It's a pyramid shape.

What if the pyramids
are spaceships?

The greeks didn't make pyramids. No,
I know,

but we're talking about
the egyptians now.

Talking about ancient
civilizations. Okay.

What if they built a replica

of what one looked like...

Yeah. Exactly, yeah.

...Out of stone? Yeah,
that's a good...

That's a actually
really great theory.

They were almost like a...

So,
they wanted to train everybody

about the [bleep] pyramids.

Yeah. It could be.

Because what were
the pyramids for?

They don't know.
They have no idea.

Well, "burial temples,"
but like...

No, I mean,
if you're gonna build a [bleep] temple,

it must've taken them
[bleep] 1,000 years

to build one of them,
they reckon.

Oh, yeah. Forever.

But the reason why they did it,
was to say to us,

"this is what... When
this comes back,

this is what it looks like."

yeah. [ chuckles ]

home has arrived. We
built a house for them.

What if the pyramids

are actually like
an airport terminal?

Like,
the triangle goes on top of it,

and then they can get
out of the spaceship?

It's like a... that's why they were
buried with all of their belongings.

If you land one of them things,
maybe its a angle to come in?

Yeah,
it's like lights on an aircraft carrier.

They were buried
with all their wealth,

and they did it
'cause they need it

when they get
up there to barter.

Yeah. You guys
are gonna do that.

On the woogie boogie scale,
where would you rate this?

That's got a 9 for me.

A 9. Interesting.

Pretty convincing stuff?

Are you guys
starting to believe?

Ish. Ish.

It's very good food
for thought. Yeah.

Who would've thought...

Was it an egyptian magician?

[ laughs ]

any last goodbyes?

Yes,
we'd like to say thank you...

Tune in next week, folks.

By next,
I'll be totally [bleep] insane.

[ thunder cracks ] [
ozzy laughs maniacally ]

if you at home have
any spooky clips,

make sure you hashtag
osbournes believe

and we'll be sure
to check it out.

♪♪

Ozzy: Is that for real?

[ laughs ]

you guys are both aliens.
What does bella think?

[ singsong voice
] my little bella.

[ as '20 gangster ] yeah,
bella. How's it going there, see?

All aboard the
osbourne crazy train!

[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

it's a full moon tonight.
That's where we're going.

[ laughs ]

oh, my god. Let's go.

That's it for this
episode. That's it?

See you next week. Ooh.